Category Archives: Messages

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Dreamwork and Tests

Lots of dreams to recount.

Dream: Gift House

This was the longest dream of the night. At the beginning I was in labor (hard work ahead) and women were tending to me. They were telling me it had to go a certain way, that everything would be okay and to let them handle everything. It hard to recall what the “certain way” was but there were specific rules. I felt forced by the rules and demanding to be left alone. There is mild discomfort felt in the dream but it is also hard to recall. There was also mention of absolutely no medical intervention being allowed.

After the labor scene I was recovering (no baby in sight) and handed a card (surprises ahead). The card was enormous, at least 8 feet high. It was also beautiful with colorful artwork from cover to cover. There were signatures from people I know in real life, people I have met in person and also on the internet. Most I have memories of helping or assisting in some way. I referred to them as my spiritual circle, my mind going to a specific circle I was part of early on in my awakening. I knew I had missed many meetings yet they still remembered me. I got emotional, shedding a few tears. I felt very loved.

There was a male presence assisting me to read the card. It was a reading provided by a very revered medicine man. He had drawn the card as part of my reading. I said, “Too bad it doesn’t say what it means.” The man seemed to indicate it did and I saw there was an explanation at the bottom with the symbols and their corresponding meanings. I only remember the symbols were unfamiliar, like mythical or made-up creatures. One was a water animal resembling a cross between a whale(intuition, emotion) and a manatee. The explanation had something to do with water, diving deep and coming to the surface and being of two worlds.

Then the letter was opened up into a partially constructed log cabin. I stepped inside it as if crossing through a portal. The cabin (success via ones own means) was very small and not yet complete. The walls were up but you could see through the boards. I remember walking through it in awe thinking how perfect it was and commenting about the walls needing to be “sealed”.

I went upstairs and noted two small bedrooms both with closets. Downstairs was a small living area and across from it an unfinished area that I assumed was the master bedroom (intimate self). There was a section for a garage but it was not yet built as if I could decided to add one if I wanted – or not. The master bedroom was the main focus and I was talking to the man about where to construct the walls to separate it from the living room. There was an ornate bronze metal post in one area that acted as a support beam that could not be moved. It was significant in the dream, special as if a statue of some sort.

There was discussion with the man for a while about this house. He told me it was my gift. The feeling was that my spiritual circle wanted me to have it. There are many flashes of piles of logs for the cabin waiting to be placed. There is also a flash of a large bear (independence, strength, death/renewal) standing on his hind legs. The statue maybe? Or something else?

sea cow - Caribbean Dictionary

Considerations

The dream felt significant so I couldn’t return to sleep. When I woke from the dream I heard, “We love you.” I remember various other messages. One was, “Strong woman”. Another was a song, If You Leave, specifically, “Heaven knows what happens now.” There was a sense that this “gift” was an opportunity. In fact the word, “opportunity”, kept repeating. I was also told, “Remember your heart.”

Houses are the Self in dreams. So was this gift a gift of Self? A new version waiting for the finishing touches? And why was the master bedroom not yet walled in? The bedroom is the private self but a master bedroom can be partnerships, like a marriage or relationship.

Dream: Alternate Realities

Upon returning to sleep I was shown various alternate realities to the life I am currently experiencing. I seemed to be selecting them and viewing them. One in particular depicted a very different outcome to the life I have now. In it I married my current husband and we had a daughter together. Then, for some reason or another, we divorced and our other two children were never conceived. I was able to inspect what caused the split. I viewed various scenes of arguments we had. What I concluded was that I was more outspoken, less cooperative in general and unwilling to “lose” a fight. My husband was similar to how he is now in his response to my stubbornness but because I never yielded and let him win, refusing to see his side of things, he often became enraged and ultimately put up a block to me emotionally. My selfish and stubborn choices ultimately resulted in the dissolution of our relationship.

There was no judgment here. I could see how I might respond in such a way. Stubborn and pig headed are good descriptors of me in my younger years. In fact, I am still very resistant but have soften substantially and learned many lessons over the years (in this life scenario anyway).

I also viewed a life trajectory where my husband and I split up and then reunited years later. And there was yet another life where we stayed married until we were very old and death was the cause of our separation.

I believe this dream was the result of a FB conversation I had yesterday about alternate realities. The sense was that what we choose to experience is only one out of many possible scenarios available to us.

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Dream: Other Life

This dream seemed to be of another life altogether. In it I was with a man. We were actors playing the role of being in love. We often kissed and made love “on screen”. The man was extremely tall and broad shouldered with medium blonde hair. He had a deep voice that, to me, was very sexy (and somewhat familiar). During one of our kissing scenes I realized that I was attracted to my play partner and in love with him. This recognition caused me to look forward to every scene in which we kissed or had sexual relations. I shifted from being an actress into personifying my role.

I shifted into a scene where my partner took me to a gathering. It felt like an obligation and I was not looking forward to it. The place and people we visited had different rules and beliefs to our own. They were emotionally stiff and lived a simple life. They seemed similar to Puritans.

While sitting at a table my partner wandered off. Later, a man came up and told me that my partner had connected with his old friend again. Turns out it was a male friend and they were sexually involved. I didn’t care that he had done this and waited for his return.

There is a scene where I am looking through a refrigerator for food, specifically a burrito. I ended up putting two chicken (cowardice) strips in the oven and never finding the burrito (efficiency).

At the end of the dream I am laying in bed and my partner returns. I ask him how he enjoyed sex with a man, asking him specific questions. lol We laugh about the whole topic, him scooping me up in his arms and kissing me. I could feel our connection strongly in the dream, like a warm breeze that wrapped around me. I felt safe and secure in his arms and a beautiful friendship and deeply devoted love radiated from my heart. He threaded his fingers through my own and held my hand. The last thing I recall is a flash of the country scene through the window above the bed, feeling his hand in my own and the love in my heart.

Of course, the feeling woke me up. I could still feel him next to me. It was so very real!

Discussion

My partner in spirit spoke with me for some time after. I recall him mentioning June 20th as connected to what is currently happening now. He also reminded me that the love and connection I felt in the dream is always there. I remember being upset by the fact that this place (physical experience) makes it so very difficult to remember and feel that love and Divine connection. I remember us discussing my wanting to abort, to leave early, and him reassuring me and telling me, “We will help you.”

June 20th

Curious about the date I was given and what, if any, significance it has, I looked in my private blog for any posts on that date. Of course, I found one! Here is part of it:

This dream started out with my ex-husband visiting me. It felt like he was returning to see if he and I could resume a relationship. His interest was a curiosity to me and it seemed like I was encouraging him to explore the option more. The main topic of discussion was his old pick-up (hard work), well two of them. When we met he had a red Nissan pick-up and then acquired a black Nissan pick-up later. I was asking him questions about the red one and trying to retrieve it to get it in working order. There was mention of selling it, too. In and among all this I was looking over my mom’s checkbook, balancing it. She ended up with only $40 left in her account.

Then I recall being inside a public bathroom (cleansing and clarity). I was in one of the stalls and there were numerous other stalls. Some women were brought in and I recognized they were being escorted in. The feeling here was that I wanted privacy.

The scene shifted and I was being taken into a processing or in-take center along with hundreds of other people, all adults. It was inside a large church (seeking guidance) and sometimes it shifted to be a Wal-Mart. I think this came from the many posts on FB I have been reading about illegals and their families being separated.

The main feeling I had was confusion. One minute I was living life and the next I was transported to an unfamiliar place with tons of other people. I had no idea where I was or where I was going or what was going to happen to me. I felt disoriented because of it and worried/anxious.

Everyone was separated by gender. I was taken with the other women and told to sit. I had in my hands a blue folder that was full of some of my information (clinging to my identity), places I had worked, old resumes, and other odds and ends. I held onto it happy that I had it with me. The information I had was that we were going to be transplanted, given jobs and new lives. I panicked a bit thinking of the type of work I would be given – substitute teacher, cashier, etc. I told the man who gave me my info packet, “I don’t have to work. My husband makes enough for our family.” He responded as if I was crazy saying, “We understand. You will be given an appropriate job. Don’t worry.” I kept thinking I didn’t want to work and worried about how I could get out it.

An older woman sat down next to me and I watched as she seemed to take it all in alongside me. The announcer was telling us to wait our turns and explaining that all would be provided for and be safe.

We were then eating dinner but I don’t recall eating, just the end. A person came by the take up our used dishes and took my water. I objected and he gave me the water to my right. I told him it wasn’t mine and he said it didn’t matter. He then gave me a canned sweet tea (contentment). I wondered why anyone would put sweet tea in a can. It didn’t appeal to me.

The older woman was still next to me and we were discussing our families and how to reconnect. For some reason my sister’s ex-husband’s name came to mind and I began to call out to see if anyone from that family was there with us. I walked around a bit but got no answers. I complained saying, “How can we ever find family when we are separated like this?” The separation was that the cafeteria (issues eating me up inside) room we were in was separate from the other rooms.

Then we were sitting on pews and someone was talking again. He was asking us to fill out our packets and explaining that we were receive our placements soon. I looked up at the ceiling and saw a section that might fall. I mentally pulled it down but it changed nothing. No one noticed.

One woman received her placement. She was being sent to Canada. I thought, “Wow. That is far away.” There was talk that if our family came to get us then we were be entrusted to their care and not have to be placed. I wondered if my family knew where I was. I hoped they would come get me but couldn’t figure how they would find me. Another woman mentioned that she got her placement but that her bus didn’t come until 12:30. She asked when that was and was told, “Good luck. That’s a late one.”

The announcer gave further instructions about the paperwork. He sat on a pew and said that we would put our two packets in piles, one on either side of him. He didn’t ask us to line up and I knew it would take a while for everyone to get their packets to him. His last instruction was that, in order to get an appropriate placement, we needed to pick a movie character that we would want to be. There was mention of an old movie from 1976 (year of my birth) and I thought it disagreeable, wondering why he would use it as an example.

In a panic to figure out what character to choose I thought of all the movie characters that might suit me. For some reason I came up with The Sound of Music and struggled to remember the main character’s name. I remembered in the end writing down, “Maria: The Sound of Music.”

When I woke I was still in a panic as it all felt very real. Like I had just been picked up and dropped in an unfamiliar place awaiting my fate. I felt powerless because I could not find anything or anyone that was familiar to me. My family was gone, unreachable. I was about to be placed somewhere and given a job. In my life I didn’t have to work yet I was to be put to work somewhere, to be given a new identity and life. It scared me.

Mostly I wondered why I chose Maria from The Sound of Music as my character. Did I want to be a nun that fell in love and left the church to raise all those kids and commit to her love? Did that somehow mean I was to be placed in a family and have to learn to love the children and their father? Was it somehow representative of my current situation? It seemed so.

Other Considerations

I can’t help but wonder about the purpose of all this dreamwork. The word, “opportunity” continues to come up yet I have this dead-end feeling following me around. I am familiar with the feeling so it is barely noticeable, but I do sense it. I continue to feel like I need to be doing something but then I lose interest or things don’t turn out. I don’t care how they turn out, which is an odd feeling to get use to. Normally I would be upset if I worked toward something and it fell apart. Now I am not phased by such things.

Lately, I have noticed a trend. A door seems to open to me in life, I go through it and then find it closes on me (not the right door). This is specifically noticed in regards to career. For example, I felt drawn to apply for the job at Vitamin Shoppe so I did. I went through the entire process only to have a position 30 minutes away offered, which was not a good fit for me. Then I went through the entire Tinkergarten hiring process (took me over a month to complete) only to be told in the end that they were full and would consider me for future openings if I so desired. Then, just recently as mentioned in my last post, a door opened to working at my husband’s place of employment. I went in yesterday and filled out all the paperwork, assured of my position in pay. Then, when my husband informed his boss of my pay she objected. No agreement has been reached thus far so I don’t know what is going to happen. My husband says he is going to leave it to his boss and withdraw. He was very upset and wanting to quit over what she said to him, which, I must admit, was very unprofessional and rude.

Even with yesterday’s turn of events I am not upset. I don’t mind that I went through the entire hiring process to have a hiccup over pay stop everything. I think, “So what.” LOL It was the same with Tinkergarten. That was the longest ever hiring process! It included an actual demo class I had to organize from start to finish. In the end I didn’t care that all that hard work didn’t pay off. Instead, I saw it as a learning experience, something that focused my attention for a while.

And these experiences are not limited to career. I keep being confronted with relationship and life issues that push my buttons to the point that I think I need to take action. Yet my gut tells me, “No”. I follow it, the feeling fades and I shift back to total acceptance. It is a continual return to the lesson of surrender and acceptance.

It seems to me that I am being “tested” via these experiences. The questions being asked are, “Can Dayna follow through with her ‘instructions’ without expectation? Can she trust the process entirely without doubt or resistance?”

It makes me wonder what the next test will be? It will be what it will be. I trust that whatever the intent of the next door that it will be purposeful and that I may never know the actual purpose in the end.

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More Money Messages and Dreams

In a previous post I was given a date in January. I knew it meant that I needed to refer back to January this year for information regarding my current inner healing work. There wasn’t much I could conclude from a quick review of that month, though. However, yesterday, while on a walk, not 100 yards from my front door, I saw a crumpled up mass of trash in the middle of the road. As I got closer I realized it was money – $20. This is the second time this year I have found money in the middle of the road. The last time was in…..January!

Of course I picked up the money and took it inside, once again thrilled at my “luck”. However, as I began to consider the “why” of it, my intuition was saying, “Pay attention.”

The previous amount I found was two $100 bills on the road parallel to each other. The message seemed to me to be related to the number 11 and the significance the number carries. It also seemed to represent two aspects of a whole – masculine and feminine – whole in themselves yet still connected. At the time of that money discovery the money came along with certain thoughts which also pointed to the message.

Similarly, the $20 bill on the road came after much consideration about relationships and partnerships, what I want, my own tendencies, etc. I had not been thinking of these things at the exact moment of discovery of the money, though. When I saw the money it was so crumpled that it was unrecognizable as money. Only upon close inspection did the $20 markings show. Anyone walking past would have thought it trash.

The number 20 is all about partnerships and relationships, romantic and otherwise. It carries with it a tendency of the individual who has been given this number to function best when in a partnership. It isn’t dependency but more that the individual is more capable when working as part of a team (partner or group). In contrast to the two $100 bills, which were separated, the $20 is whole in itself. The only thing that bothers me is the crumpled state of the money.

Then yesterday, on a walk in the same neighborhood, there was a $1 bill on the sidewalk. It looked brand new, all straight and crisp. My daughter was with me but didn’t see it until I had it in my hands. I said, “This must be for me!”  because, well, the universe keeps sending me money on my walks/runs. Three times this year, twice this week!

Upon inspection I realized some other things about the $1 bill:

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The letter in the circle on the left is significant. I exclaimed to my kids, “Look! It even has my name on it!”. I handed it to my kids who all wanted to touch it as if it was some kind of special $1. When I got it back I noticed it has 11’s on all four corners. I’d never noticed that on money before so I checked the cash in my wallet. It seems to be a $1 bill thing only. The number coincides with the letter in the circle – the 11th letter is K.

Something felt right about this message. I’m not exactly sure what, but it seemed to indicate that all is well, I’m on the right path and to trust my inner Knowing. There was also a thought that it represented a countdown of sorts. Everything about it screams solid foundations. Here is the numerological meaning of 1.

Aside from money finds, I’ve been having lots of interesting dreams, some disturbing and others that seem to be hinting at the future.

Dream: Foreign Gate 

I was a passenger on a very large airplane (higher awareness, new state of Being). It was so massive that there were three rows of seats and a divider with a door in the middle. As we entered I was asked to put my carry-on luggage (identity, security, responsibilities and burdens) away but could not find an overhead compartment for them. The one over my seat was full of some old lady’s stuff – boxes of make-up (self-image, self-confidence) she was selling (replace burdens with confidence). The flight attendant told me to find another place so I set my luggage aside. I remember telling the attendant that it was wrong for the lady to take up so much space with make-up and that something should be done about it. Nothing was done about it, though.

When we were departing the place I was told to retrieve my things. There was someone with me who told me I needed to go through the “foreign gate” (change into new phase of life) where they had been put. I hesitated and did not want to go through the gate but I wanted my luggage so I did.

On the other side there was luggage scattered everywhere. All of it was identical: black carry-on’s. Mine was a black carry-on. I checked through numerous bags but could not find any with my name tag on it. I began to panic, searching through them multiple times. I never found my carry-on. I did find my red and black backpack (knowledge gained) which was a relief.

The man with me advised me to just leave the luggage (message to “let it go”). Someone else had taken it. I was beside myself with upset to the point that I had this sick feeling in my stomach, a nausea that was abnormal. The man kept reminding me that I had my backpack, so I had what I needed. My thoughts mirrored his words. I said, “Yes, but I will have to go and buy new clothes, new contact solution….everything.” There was a feeling that I would okay despite the set-back but the worry surpassed it.

Still panicking, I woke up suddenly. The feeling was lingering in my stomach. It was an “oh shit” feeling. I hate that feeling, especially when I have no idea what to make of it.

Dream: Flooded Basement

I was in a house (soul/self) with my husband (soul connection to husband) and kept noticing standing water (emotion). He was focused on something upstairs, a washing machine (need to resolve issues of the past to move forward) that had been buried (suppressed) and he was digging up (coming to surface). I finally got him to notice the water and he said the whole basement (basic needs and desires, confusion, suppression in subconscious) was flooded (overwhelmed by emotions) about three feet high. He knew about it all along and was just ignoring it determined to dig up the washer. He kept saying the flooding in the basement was because the washer was installed improperly. I remember seeing him digging up a chunk of dirt covered in thick grass and brown leaves (disappointment, despair) and him saying he had been working on it for an hour. I also remember seeing water standing around the a/c in the corner of the house.

Inside my husband had done something with the washer and was draining it I think and water was pouring all over the carpets (protection from harsh reality). There was discussion about a new sofa (laziness, boredom or need to clear mind/thoughts) and it being 38in and only getting cleaned for free if it was 40in. I saw it and it was huge and the back of it arched over the dining room table.

I was upset about the flooded basement. I crawled on the railings of the stairs because they seemed to be upside down (no progress made), the risers above me and the railings below. I never got down to the basement and knew I would have to sleep in a house that was flooding. I was nervous and didn’t want to stay.

Note: The next day my husband actually dug up a part of the front yard to fix a busted water main. The scene was nearly identical to pieces of the above dream. There was water standing near the a/c units and large chunks of sod piled on the driveway from his excavation of the pipes.

Dream: Giant Ladybug

I was inside a large kitchen (life alteration, transformation) and commented on how clean it was. The kitchen had many parts and was larger than normal with several sinks, ovens and work stations on both ends. There were women preparing foods and I helped by making the carrots (clarity, abundance and fertility). I kept adding carrots because I felt it would not be enough. I put them on the stove and noticed a bottle of soda (rejuvenation) had gone missing. I went outside to find it and walked past a group of older women sitting at a table waiting for the meal. There were brown leaves (fallen hopes, despair, loss) blowing past and I commented that the last time we gathered the leaves hadn’t fallen yet. I kept looking for the soda and saw it near some tools. When I picked it up it was obvious soda was not what was inside. It was some kind of chemical. Then I saw a very large ladybug (beauty and good luck) whose shell was rusty orange with gemstones (riches, spiritual protection) where the spots should have been.

Considerations

June’s energy has grown in intensity since the first week and continues to grow. I suspect July is going to be a humdinger of a month. All the messages and syncs continue to escalate despite my asking my guidance to give me a break. My dreams seem to be preparing me for change and show how I am working on confronting certain fears and beliefs related to that change.

In addition to continuing to get messages about Atlanta on a daily basis (it’s ridiculous, really), there are other smaller messages here and there. For example, on one of my walks I kept finding discarded bird eggshells (rebirth) along the path, all in almost perfect condition.

At first I was struggling against the messages and intuition I am having. Of course, the struggle came from my Ego assuming the messages and accompanying feelings meant “NOW” and so, understandably, there was some freaking out. But now I recognize that these messages are memories ignited within by certain aspects of my life trajectory (timeline) coming into view (trigger events). It would be like driving along a highway and seeing that your destination is an hour drive away when previously the signs indicated days of travel.

So now I am hovering somewhere between anticipation of said future changes and complete acceptance/surrender. My focus is on keeping an open mind and heart, acknowledging any expectations and setting them aside so that I can freely accept into my life that which will be for the greatest good of all.

This excerpt from an astrological blog I follow jumped out at me:

Living through Expectation prevents you from ever leaving the Past, since our Expectations are based on our Past Experiences.  If you Want to Experience Life As It Is, Moment to Moment, you have to “Cancel, Neutralize, Upgrade,” thank the mind for attempting to Contribute, chuckle at it, and Open to an [sic] Blank Slate.

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Kundalini Dream: Funky Town

Just when I think I am gonna get some good quality sleep…..the Full Moon energy hits! Ahhh!

Kundalini Dream: Funky Town

Again, wasn’t expecting this nor was I expecting how it would come about.

The dream began with me and my family attending a concert – a symphony (harmony/cooperation) actually. A young woman was trying to enter the theater and I kept holding her back. She wasn’t allowed and was bad news. I knew her somehow, though. Eventually, with the symphony starting, I had to let her in. So she came in with me keeping an eye on her.

We sat down with my husband and family. The theater was huge with row upon row of seats. As the first half began the entire seating area seemed to shift and roll. It was like we were on a roller coaster. I closed my eyes, falling into the movement. I could feel myself in my seat curving up, up and over, completely flipping backward and then back to upright. Secure in my seat I just allowed the motion. No fear. No concerns.

The woman who I brought in was chatting the whole time. I could feel tears welling up and then pouring down my cheeks. I don’t recall an emotion here except surrender. When I opened my eyes I was back facing the front of the theater where I had started. The woman mentioned my tears asking me why I was crying. I didn’t answer. I had no clue.

At intermission (break) we left and entered into a car (life path) to wait. The car was parked in front of a large, wooden gate (new phase of life) that was closed. Inside the car my older sister (aspect of Self) was with me talking to me about something she observed about me. I mostly ignored her, focusing on a picture I was drawing.

My sister was saying, “Isn’t it funny that the older you get, the less you try, the less fight you have left to even bother doing the things you want to do? Why do you think that is?” When she was saying this I saw a picture that she drew to illustrate. It was of blobs of “desire”. At first they were large but the farther across the paper they got, the smaller until they were nothing but thin lines.

I knew she was trying to get me to converse with her, to dig deep and find out why I have lost the desire to fight for what I want. So I continued to draw my picture. I put a “circle, circle, dot, dot” (boobs) on the person and then laughed and showed my sister. She kept talking about how I wasn’t fighting anymore, acting more concerned.

My husband who was in the driver’s seat said, “Why don’t we listen to something else. I wonder if we can purchase a different station?” He started scanning for new music and landed on 97.5 FM. I said,”No. It costs too much. Just leave it. The price is too high (telling my Self that the price of change/desire is too high).”

As intermission ended I looked ahead of the car. There was a huge bulldozer (need to clear clutter from life, feeling blocked) in front of us. I thought, “It is going to take forever to get through now.”

My sister kept talking to me about my loss of motivation and willpower. As she did I could hear music playing, one song then another. I focused on the images that came with it. I saw what seemed like movies playing and then rewinding in slow motion. At one point there were three scruffy dogs, one female and two males. The males were trying to mate with the female. One was successful. I watched, amused, thinking of a joke (trying to distract myself) my husband told me recently (read it here if you want to laugh). All the while my sister continued to try to get my attention.

My attention still on the mating dogs I felt what seemed like fingers being jabbed into my lower abdominal area. With this came a sharp pain and a bubble of intensely pleasurable energy. I tried to ignore it, still amused from the joke I was thinking about, but the jabbing continued as if I were being stabbed in the stomach. Finally the mixture of pain and pleasure woke me up. The bubble of energy was in my second chakra pushing upward but felt stuck. Though the energy was pleasurable, the pain was much more intense and uncomfortable. I wanted it to go away but instead it was like my body was not my own. Despite being awake my first and second chakras exploded in a mixture of pain and pleasure. I winced and rolled over on my side trying to figure out what was going on.

Message

The song, Funkytown was going through my head – “Won’t you take me to Funkytown….” When I listened and heard the first line I rolled my eyes. lol

I was not impressed and a bit irritated. My “sister” from the dream was now my partner in Spirit and he was being extremely pushy. He said, “We need to talk.” LOL – look at the lyrics – “Talk about it, talk about it, talk about it…..” I was mostly focused on the dogs wondering why the Kundalini energy would come on from such a visual, especially when I was finding it humorous. I eventually just let that go because, who the hell knows why the Kundalini does what it does anyway? lol

My partner kept asking me to consider what my sister in the dream was telling me. I still didn’t want to talk about it. I can see how as I get older I get less motivated to change, less interested in “fighting” for what I want. He asked me to think about 20 years ago. How am I different? I confirmed that, yes, I am way less likely to fight for what I want now. I am slowly falling into apathy. I justified this by saying, “Doesn’t everyone get like that as they get older?” I remember saying, “It doesn’t matter and taking risks to get something I want is too costly in the end (thus me saying “it costs too much” in the dream)”.

Honestly, the conversation didn’t get very far because I kept avoiding the images and memories that came to mind. It was the middle of the night and I wanted to sleep. I was a bit frustrated and irritated with my partner telling him I was not amused nor happy with his methods. And my lower abdominal area still ached. Not fun.

If you read the lyrics to Funkytown you will see his message. If he had a face I would have punched him – last night anyway. lol He was saying, “We love you.” I was thinking, “Go away!!!” as I nursed my achy tummy – which still hurts this morning. It feels like an ovarian cyst. Ugh.

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Dream: Circle of Friends

I was with a few others. We were going to a gathering of others like us. We entered into a space filled with drums, pillows, blankets, musical instruments and spiritual things. We waited for the others to arrive.

Someone mentioned that the others weren’t there yet. I asked if maybe they had the location wrong. We saw some people gathering at another location through the window. I knew my friend Sophia had set it up and was at the other location so I volunteered to call her.

Eventually we were all together in a circle. I sat next to Sophia. I had not seen her in so long. I turned and looked her in the eyes. She had one hand on her high heart. I placed my hand over the top of hers and then she placed her other hand over mine. I then put my right hand over the top of that. When I did this I closed my eyes and a surge of energy resulted. I could see a brilliant yellow light shoot out of her upper chest. She smiled. It felt like healing had occurred. She said, “I’ve been experiencing an upload.” I said, “I have too and am on the other side of it now. I feel good.” We discussed the other friend who had not arrived and assumed she had been experiencing something similar and likely needed time alone.

It felt like many who were suppose to be at the circle had not shown. Those who did show ended up talking for a while, getting to know one another. I recall looking at the unfamiliar faces and thinking about how everyone was so plain looking, as if the “awakened ones” were the “outcasts” or “unpopular” group. I didn’t care, though.

One person introduced themselves as “Sally”. It took me a while to hear her because there was this loud, mechanical sound drowning her out. I recall she looked male and being surprised she was female.

A man stood next to me and told his story, how he helped people (can’t recall how now but it was unusual). At one point I turned around and he was completely naked, his naked butt cheeks in my face. I turned away, smirking, and he apologized. I laughed and said, “Get your ass out of my face already.” LOL

Eventually we left and I found myself walking along the road (sense of direction) near my Mom’s house in the dark, the full moon illuminating the road. I was wearing socks (comfort) only and could feel the pebbles (minor annoyances) poking my feet. I was with friends and extremely happy and positive, enjoying the light of the full moon and the connection with nature and life.

When we reached the intersection (important decision) the others left me alone (have to make decision on my own). I stood there and noticed a microwave (quick action) sitting on the fence post. I found a small plate nearby and filled it with vegetables (spiritual nourishment) and put it in the microwave. Then I saw headlights and notice a tiny car parked near me. A car drove up and a person got out and began to yell at a small child in the tiny car. I went to the child’s rescue but discovered that I knew the people in the car, an old high school classmate (connection with others). We talked and she told me that the school was much different now.

Others joined us there at the intersection. Eventually they were all seated at a table and I was offering them my plate of veggies (help others gain spiritual nourishment). One guy took broccoli (spiritual nourishment), another green beans (the soul). I was happy to give up my food thinking it was likely the only healthy food any of them had in a long time.

Continued Message

I finally woke up completely, still tired and achy from the Kundalini episode. The dreams about the spiritual circle were vivid, especially the energy rush out of my friend Sophia’s chest. I find it interesting that I would dream about her and the walk-in group when I haven’t had dreams of her or them in ages. This coming after several dream visits by Yvonne, the organizer of the walk-in group who, of course, lives in Tennessee.

The message I am receiving now is that I am in need of a kick in the butt to get me to take action because, obviously, I have lost my “fight”. The sense I got from the message was that I need to take action immediately. I was told, “opportunity is coming.”

Really, though, I don’t have the motivation to change….at.all. There is a feeling of, “Why bother?” Life goes on no matter what. Survival is still part of it and survival is drudgery.

Part of the conversation with my partner was about my vibration/energy and how the primary energy I am sending out right now is “fear”. He referred to my purpose, asking, “How can you fulfill your purpose if you are primarily projecting fear?” I can see how apathy = succumbing to fear and how my lack of motivation and action is a result of fear. But when you have failed time and time again it is not easy to get back up and fight. Eventually you just stay down and accept that as your place.

 

 

 

 

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Dreams, Signs and Syncs

More dreams, signs and syncs. Some interesting pushing by my guidance, I must say! Also, the exhaustion continues. I have been sleeping way more than usual (10+ hours a night) and am very tired by mid-afternoon. It is not the usual slam by the energies where I am flat-out, but is it noticeable….and welcomed.

I started this post two days ago so the first dreams are from the 22nd.

Dream: Warrant

I woke in the morning too early to rise so decided to go back to sleep. When I did I asked for help deciding what to do. I can’t seem to make up my mind about the yoga seminar this Fall. I want to go but then I hesitate to register. Back and forth. I’ve been waiting for some consistency in my feelings regarding this decision, but it has yet to arise.

I was a passenger (letting others make decisions for me) in a car driving in a big city somewhere. It felt like Houston but then all I recall are highways and the blur of lights. The man driving had dark hair and a big smile. He seemed familiar, reminding me of an old acquaintance of mine from long ago. This old acquaintance was a double Libra of foreign birth. He was being playful with me and both of us were in high spirits.

A man’s voice came up on the radio mentioning my husband’s name and the make and model of his car. They said he was wanted for something. I realized we were hearing police radio (unrest in subconscious). The man with me said, “You better warn him!” I picked up my cell phone and called my husband but the connection was spotty and he couldn’t hear me. I kept repeating, “You need to get off the highway. The police are looking for you. There’s a warrant (important decision being made) out for your arrest. Take side roads. Avoid the highway.” He finally heard me I think and the call was dropped (communication break).

Then I was in the car with my husband but the car seemed to not exist. Instead it was like we were floating in a bubble. We were looking for food and took a road leading to a cafeteria-like space with many restaurant (overwhelm) vendors. Cars were not allowed so when we drove in my husband had to back out and find a place to park. That left me inside with the other man who I had been with previously. He wanted Asian food and so we were walking around looking for some.

I stopped and spoke with a vendor. The woman told me they made various egg dishes, showing me two kinds. One was an egg souffle that had red sauce on top. It resembled a volcano. The other was an egg souffle (set course of action) that was opened up with spices inside. I told her I wanted the second one. I said, “I don’t have money. My husband is bringing it.” The woman set it aside. I could see the dish. The egg was split apart and had red spices coating the center.

Dream: Declaration of War

In this dream I was observing a royal couple. They had promised their daughter to a neighboring country. She was to wed their son. The couple was discussing this while preparing their daughter. I never saw the daughter and it seemed like she was me at times.

When the daughter was preparing to leave, the two royal (strength) couples were negotiating terms. I remember listening in while looking through a box of tampons (tension/aggression). I could see blood (emotional stress or tension) on some of them. It was like the box was a communication device. The woman on the other side of the box was the royal mother of the daughter. She and I spoke through the box, her giving me updates. There was one point when the box seemed to be full of blood. I could see blood dripping down the sides. This is when the mother told me that the other royals, specifically the mother, was acting strange and changing the terms of their contract.

Then I saw the other mother. She was tall, wearing a black and gold headpiece that reminded me of an evil character from a Disney movie (Snow White comes to mind). She gave an ultimatum, saying that she didn’t want to negotiate anymore. Her terms were simple, “Give us your country and lands or go to war (disorder or chaos).” I remember that the name of the country ruled by this evil woman was Mars. There was a sense that other “countries” were involved. Jupiter and Earth were mentioned.

Before we could respond, Mars was attacking. The scene shifted and I was on a highway (life, goals) hiding under an upturned truck (work) with a man. There was debris everywhere and shots were being fired to the point that the sky was full of explosions. None of the explosions harmed us, though. They just bounced off everything. I remember the man saying we couldn’t be hurt, that it was all for show.

Signs and Syncs

In addition to the dreams I’ve been getting some other messages. Firstly, I keep seeing frogs. In fact, when I woke up yesterday morning there was a frog picture laying by my door. Here it is:

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I ignored it initially but then while scrolling through FB I ran into multiple images of frogs posted by friends. One was an image of a tree frog with a butterfly sitting on its head!

Later, I saw the image of a frog in the tile on my bathroom floor just above the yin/yang symbol I had seen months prior. Weird!

And after that I was looking through a drawer for something and this was peeking out at me!IMG_2768

This frog drawing was done by my sister four years ago. Same kind of frog as in the other image – the red eyed tree frog.

By this time I already knew the frog was a message, so I looked up the symbolism. Turns out the frog comes around to help guide one through a life transition of some sort. The fact that two of the images I saw were red eyed tree frogs was interesting. What I have read indicates the red eyes help them see in the dark. So perhaps I am being advised to look to my intuition, uncover hidden aspects and take a closer look at something in my life?

The first image relays information about the call of the frog sounding like a baby rattle. My thought is to focus on the word “baby” here. I was recently told I was being reborn. Baby = rebirth. Connection made.

The second image was drawn by my sister when she was in prison. She often sent me drawings like this one (she is very talented). Her life has been a challenge since her release from prison. Her prison time coincided with the end of her marriage and other upheaval. When she was released she married our first cousin and they had a son together. This, as you can imagine, created family tension. However, she has found a sort of happiness with her new life, despite its challenges. So, this particular frog image could be indicating change and upheaval related to rebirth. At least that is my interpretation.

In addition to the frog message, I keep having reminders of the yoga seminar in Atlanta, Georgia. The on-again, off-again indecisiveness is bothering me. I am NOT normally so indecisive. I ask for help from my guidance. They give it. And keep giving it.

For example, in the midst of all the frog sightings I am doing this on-again, off-again crap in my mind over the yoga seminar. Out of the blue, on the tail-end of once again putting off a decision, I get a call from an unknown number. I rush downstairs to answer it but it is too late. When I check my phone I see this (but the missed call was the top one, I took the screenshot after another missed call):

IMG_2739

I get tons of phone spam as you can see. Most of them are from Austin (my area). It is not common to get one from another state, though it does happen. Yet from Atlanta, GA? At the exact moment I am thinking about the yoga seminar? Ha!

This is just the one reference to Atlanta that I documented, too. There have been numerous other ones. I keep shrugging them off.

The top thought I have is that all of this “coincidence” of signs is because I am thinking about the seminar. I think, “My thoughts are creating this. That’s all.” You know how when you buy a new car, all of a sudden you notice your new car is all over the place when before you swear you rarely saw it? Like that.

When I add the above dream “answer” to the symbolism and syncs it gets a bit unsettling. I can’t help but think the planets mentioned may play a part in this. Is there something going on with Mars, Jupiter and Earth this year that may create a tendency for “war”? Gawd.

More Dreams, Signs and Messages – Squirrels and Housecleaning

As time passed more dreams added to the increasing number of messages.

Squirrel Family Dream – June 23

I was next to a bed on the floor. There was a side table with something, plastic, poking out. I pulled it out and a tiny baby squirrel (hoarding or preparation for the future) came with it. It was not scared of me but wide awake and curious. It was looking for food so I gave it a tiny piece of fruit. It took it, still not afraid.

I showed the baby to others, tended to it and decided to take care of it long-term. I love squirrels and had them as a child so this is not a surprise.

Then I went back to the nest to check for other babies. When I tugged on the material from the nest a large mother squirrel came out. She was soaking wet (emotion). She saw me and turned around back to the nest. Then she came out with one of her babies in her mouth only it was fully grown. She communicated that she wanted me to take the baby with me. So, I led her to the other baby squirrel. Eventually she had brought out her whole family (preparation in regards to family future change), all the babies fully grown (maturity reached) except the one I found earlier. The mother squirrel was very grateful and thanked me telepathically for saving her and her family.

Squirrel Encounter

Yesterday (the day after the above dream), I went for a run. It was too hot and I got overheated so I rested under the shade of a tree. I heard a rustle and looked up. This is what I saw:

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Of course my dream came instantly to mind so I took this pic. The squirrel sat on that branch looking at me the entire time I rested there.

Squirrel symbolism is all about preparation for the future, family, communication and practicality. I find it no coincidence that I did not plan well for the run that sent me to the shade of that tree. I tend to not plan ahead but do things on the spur of the moment “just ’cause”. Had I been more future-oriented I would have gone on the run earlier and hydrated better. It seems like squirrel is trying to tell me, “Hey, if you plan ahead then you can avoid all-out war, emotional upheaval, etc. Think about it.” lol

I love squirrels!

Housecleaning Service Dream – June 24

In this dream I arrived at my apartment (financial or emotional state) and a woman dressed in a maid’s (dependence on others) uniform was there with her cart. Her uniform was baby blue and white. She had a partner who was at the neighbor’s apartment door about to go inside to clean it.

I greeted her and told her I had not been expecting her and to come inside. When inside I called out to my husband and children but no one answered. They weren’t home. I put my things down on the kitchen counter and went toward the back, lighting a cigarette (dependence on others, need for a break) as did so. I apologized to the maid, telling her I needed to go outside because of the cigarette. I told her it was good no one was home so they would not get in the way of cleaning. I put the cigarette out and then the butt fell to the ground. I apologized and she said, “We’ll handle it. No worries.” I still looked to make sure it was not going to start a fire.

I stayed outside as she went back in to clean (clear clutter and negativity from life, moving ahead to new stage) the apartment. In my mind I was thinking how nice it would be to have the place cleaned without lifting a finger. A nice, clean space appealed to me. I remember seeing in my mind a vacuumed floor and smiling.

The maid returned shortly after with the bill (something I have done is costing me). I looked it over and saw that they automatically charged our visa card. Upon further inspection I saw that there was a fee associated with this. $24 for a visa and the amounts went up for other cards. It was a rip-off and I asked the lady if it was possible for me to pay via check and stop the autopay service. I said, “My husband often uses the most convenient method to deal with things without looking at the fine print or considering the disadvantages. He seems to have done the same this time around. This fee is ridiculous!” She told me it would be fine to pay by check. I went inside and grabbed my checkbook out of my purse and wrote a check. I don’t recall the amount now but it was over one hundred dollars. I paused thinking it a high price but then completed the check realizing it was worth it. Note: Assuming this section is in reference to how others cannot handle things for me as well as I can and that I am willing to “pay the price” for making my own choices.

I surveyed my clean apartment. It was clean and organized. I could see the kitchen bar and the living area beyond. It was a nice place and felt like my home though in waking reality I have never seen a place like it.

I walked to the sliding glass doors and back out on the patio. I walked across a wide open patio deck (my connection with Self and nature) that was at least 40 feet across. It was elevated, at treetop level, with nice railings and there was a set of patio furniture toward the end overlooking the trees. I smiled, enjoying the spaciousness and saying aloud, “This would be the perfect place to do a yoga class! All I have to do is move the chairs.” I imagined the yoga mats spread out under the open sky and grew excited at the idea of teaching a class there. This part of the dream is full of wonder and possibility. I am elated, free and expansive.

As I turned to look behind me at the apartment I saw the apartment patio next to mine (another’s connection to Self). The same spacious patio extended from the back. In comparing mine to theirs I noticed their patio looked newer while mine had a few warped and sun damaged boards and looked older.

I turned back around, walking to the end of the deck and saw that there was a small, narrow bridge (connection made) with rails that extended off to the left. It led to a small room or house (extension of self). At first I assumed it was a storage shed but I could see a tiny kitchen and space beyond. Excited and curious to explore, I headed toward it but my dream ended before I could go inside.

Considerations

All the above dreams show my process right now. Not only does it seem like I am being prepared but I am also being told outright to “prepare”. I was even told not long ago that I had just been born and am now learning how to walk. Ha!

In the deck dream I was being shown my connection to my HS and the possibility it brings. Similar to the dream, my guidance continues to remind me of the experience I had in February and how I felt a surge of excitement about yoga – practicing and one day teaching it. I have been having dreams where I am practicing yoga even. lol In this particular dream I was very excited about teaching a yoga class outside on the deck. The apartment space was free of my husband and family, indicating a freedom from the burdens and responsibilities that go with them. I freed myself long enough to recall my excitement for yoga.

This morning a conversation ensued with my guidance about what I want. I struggle with motivation when it involves doing things that benefit or nurture myself. I am being asked to begin to do things for me, to pursue that which brings me joy and to stop waiting for others to give me permission to do so. When asked what I want I keep going back to that feeling of Divine connection and love. I want that in my life and in my partnership with another. Everything else just seems like piddling about in comparison. It is hard to find excitement about anything else.

My guidance reminded me that I have felt the excitement before, when I got my first teaching job. I was so high on life that I use to arrive at work early and leave late. I couldn’t wait to go to work. I am reminded of how afraid I was to take the steps it took to get me to that space in my life. I had to leave my marriage, the security it offered, and go it alone (OMG that was hard to do!). I had to apply for jobs and be rejected. I had to push past my fear of the unknown, my fear of failure, and use my degree as it was intended in a large high school with students who were taller and bigger than myself. In the end (and to my surprise) I connected easily with my students and found my purpose.

The lesson is that sometimes we have to step out into the unknown in order to let life show us ourselves. We can’t see it otherwise, especially if we stay in a situation out of fear, frozen and unable to move because we just don’t know what will happen. Afraid of losing what we have even though the unknown can bring us more than we could ever imagine.

For now I keep being pushed to go to the yoga seminar, to look into an internship and teach my first class. Similar to when I got my first teaching job, I will have to trust the path ahead and let it lead me to opportunity. If I never take the first step I will never know what awaits beyond the situation I am in now.

In my past I was seemingly “forced” to take the steps that led me to “freedom”. I was near suicide and it was only because a “voice” woke me and told me to go that I finally did leave. This time I am being given the chance to take steps on my own, without the “forced” feeling. In a sense it is harder because the urgency – the have to – is not there. I do not have to do anything.

There is also a part of me that prefers to lean upon another. I recognize this is not good. I need to rely upon myself. I need to find my purpose, that which brings me joy. My tendency is to take on the goals and purpose of my partner. The ideal scene is to have my own purpose and goals while being supportive of my partner’s. If I continue to put the needs/desires/goals of others over my own I will continue to feel unfulfilled and empty.

I have yet to purchase the seminar and secure my slot. The sense is that I have more lessons and inner work to do before I commit. Every day I am more certain, more clear, about what it is I am being asked to do but I cannot commit until I am 100% about the why behind my commitment. I can’t do this with any expectation attached. I have to go with an open heart and open mind, fully open to possibility.

Just going to that location will test me. I seem to have a strong pull to that general area but also I know people around there who I feel drawn to. Soul family. The last time I was in TN/GA I didn’t want to leave. It will likely happen again. I need to be prepared for the recurrence of emotion and connection that was there before. Being centered and strong in Self is the only way to navigate my way through.

No wonder I am so exhausted. 🙂

 

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Message: You Are Being Reborn

The vivid dreams continue but last night I had visits from Spirit while awake and during sleep. It reminded me of my wide-open mediumship days. Out of the blue I would hear a voice, most often a feminine one, speaking to me directly. Sometimes, when on the edges of sleep, I would be conversing with this female Spirit. There was also a male Spirit that came through, but it was the female who was loudest and most persistent.

When I inquired about who they were I heard back from the female, “I was there when you first experienced the Kundalini.” Then I heard the male voice say, “I’m from Hades.” He sounded serious but I sensed he was trying to get a reaction from me. I thought back to him, “Cool.” LOL In hindsight I now think Hades may have been a message but I’m getting ahead of myself….

Their presence or maybe just the energy last night was very intense – high, like someone had opened the floodgates between worlds. It crossed my mind that some kind of portal must be open, but I quickly moved on from that. I just wanted to be alone and them to go away. I thought to surround myself in protection at one point but then knew these Spirits were harmless. I opted to announce to them, “Only my guides and angels around me at this time” but in the middle of mentally saying this I felt there was no need – these individuals were part of my Team and as such the announcement would do nothing. My partner let me know they would back off, and they did – thankfully.

Dreams

OMG my dreams were weird last night! And I could not get away from them despite wanting the peace of dream amnesia. I am SO tired lately. I sleep 10 hours a night and feel exhausted when I wake up. I miss not remembering my dreams. Truly.

Dream – Space Craft Pool

This dream occurred on a space craft in space somewhere. I was on board with others in a spacious cabin I shared with a pretty, black woman. She had decorated the room with white and lavender and it smelled like lavender (spiritual cleansing, peace), too.

As I lay in my bed (private self) curled up on my left side, a man came in and warned me that I might get wet. I ignored him and tried to continue to sleep. Then a huge wave of water came in from outside the doors to the cabin. It soaked me in my bed and I jumped up and out of bed to see where it came from. My roommate was already up and had gone through the double glass doors toward the water source which was a vast pool of aqua clear water. People were lounging around everywhere. It was very obviously a party.

I was completely naked (exposure, vulnerability) and walked amidst the people observing the scene. The pool was enormous with little side pools and large, glass windows that towered hundreds of feet high separating us from space. I got into the pool for a while and people watched. Two young boys came to the water’s edge, one had a toy he wanted to play with. I warned him not to get it wet if it was battery operated. He opted not to take it in the water.

I got out of the water and walked around, following the man who soaked my bed. No one seemed to care that I was naked. The man was talking to a scantily clad woman. I wanted him to notice me but he ignored me completely. I remember thinking it odd he preferred someone wearing some clothing to someone without clothing. There were thoughts that maybe I looked old and then I remember pushing away that thought when I saw my reflection in the glass windows. I was proud that despite my age I looked better than many of the other women there who were still in their 20s and I didn’t need some man to validate me.

I walked past him back into my cabin and picked up the soaked blankets from the floor. My roommate was leaving, moving out. No more lavender and white decorations, I thought. I remember feeling “assigned” to the space craft and being part of a team on a mission. My new roommate was male and I prepared myself to welcome him.

It got awkward after meeting my roommate. I can’t recall his appearance now but I knew the only bathroom on the craft was in our cabin. I kept trying to use the bathroom without being seen (need for privacy), which was difficult. At one point I was upset by the fact that the other crew members kept putting things in the toilet to flush that would clog it.

When I woke from this dream I needed to use to restroom. 😉 The dream felt very real even after I woke. It seemed like I had actually gone somewhere; like I had been OOB. I wondered about it and felt the man and woman from before around me.

Dream: Trying to Get Home

This dream was long and had many shifts. It began in a cafeteria (issues) line but that part is hazy. I believe I was suppose to have provided lunch for the group and forgot so I ordered sub (subconscious) sandwiches (pressure) for everyone.

The part I remember most is walking through a dark area of town on my way home. Everyone was gathered around a commotion. It reminded me of a movie scene where there were men fighting with one another. I was wearing backpack (decisions weighing me down) and a purse (self-identity). I took out my phone and took video and then the crowd dispersed. It seemed like I needed to leave in a hurry so I started to drive/fly away but had no idea where I was. I was lost.

I began to drive along unfamiliar roads. I think I was in some kind of motorbike as the vehicle had no top and there was little space to move around. I kept fiddling with my two bags. At one point the crowd shifted toward a large gate. I was warned not to enter. It was a mental hospital. I asked where the road was and someone pointed ahead.

I ran into a girl and followed her and her friends to a large high school that sat in the center of the city. The city was enormous and sparkling white. Every structure towered over me and the roads were wide and seemed made of granite. I remember asking for directions to I-35 and the girl tried to tell me and then I said, “I will just use my phone GPS” but then I couldn’t get it to work. The girl said she was going to work and I could follow her to I-30. I said it was not the highway I needed to get to and went off on my own.

The road I took turned into a vast slide and I slid (loss of control) down it, gaining momentum. At the bottom I shifted to inside a hotel room (shift in identity) with the girls. It was a very nice hotel and I commented that I was grateful for their help.

When I woke my hips and abdomen were very sore and buzzing with energy. My crown, forehead and neck were also buzzing. I got out of bed because it was uncomfortable and stretched a bit. My entire body was stiff and rigid.

White Caterpillar - Pseudosiobla excavata - BugGuide.Net

Dream: Playground

In this dream my daughter and I were awarded a trip to an amusement park like Disney World. When we arrived at our hotel we spent most of our time at a wooden playground (desire to es. As I walked through the playground structure a dark haired boy approached me to talk. We walked to the edge of the structure along a bridge.

I saw a black object that looked like a missile (helplessness) and pointed it out to the boy. It went below the side of the bridge so we looked down. Below was the ocean. The water was crystal clear and sparkling blue like the sky. In the water were all kinds of sea creatures but mostly I was focused on the whales (intuition/awareness). They were black and looked like the missile at first and I realized I had been wrong and there was no threat.

Whenever we looked over the edge and focused on the the scene below I began to float up, like gravity disappeared. I would lose my sense of direction and get uncomfortable but eventually laugh. Thankfully, I never floated away because the bridge seemed to have an invisible shield over it that curved up and over us.

There were people walking under water along side the fish and whales. Then I saw two baby black whales. I notice white around their eyes and determined they were Killer Whales (guidance).

Back on the playground the young man shifted into a pure white caterpillar (first stage toward transformation). A woman who was my partner was then with me tending to another caterpillar, this one female. I ended up with both caterpillars and as I walked off the playground. The male one flew up and into my hair. I pulled him out and the other caterpillar was taken and cradled like a baby and put in a safe location to sleep.

At the end of the dream I was sitting with the woman talking about how we were going to reveal our relationship to my daughter. I wanted to kiss her but resisted, worried our secret would be revealed.

Messages

When I woke from this dream I was disoriented. Messages were coming through all at once. The man and woman in Spirit were there but so were others. It felt like a gathering or celebration. I heard from my partner, “You are being reborn.” After that I began to hum music and when I recognized it I woke up. It was Pomp and Circumstance. I knew the song, played it in high school for every graduation. I said to my partner, “Didn’t I graduate last June?” Knowing came all at once and everything felt surreal. Not long after I saw a slip of white paper. On it I saw letters appear: S – L – O- W. I knew it meant I needed to take my time; take it slow.

When I finally decided to check the time it was 8:14. Again I heard the message, “You are being reborn.” Then I remembered – for the past three or more mornings I’d looked at the clock upon waking and it was 8:14am. The time reminded me of my birth time. I was born at 8:14pm. I understood then the message I had missed.

Wide awake I began to think of current events, of the message I had received about June 15th and the discussion I had with my husband along with all the other signs and symbols. It was like a flood of info and I needed to process it all.

Yesterday there were some events indicating a need for cash, but none actually resulted in cash being spent. My husband wants our family to go to South Padre again and so most of the day he was looking for hotels to book against my advice that we skip it this year. It is not a good idea with our finances as they are. Then, later in the day, my daughter accidentally dropped my husband’s phone in the sink when I was washing dishes. I grabbed it but it went under water. It looked like it would need to be replaced but thankfully it survived.

I am feeling strange this morning but cannot put my finger on it.

 

 

 

 

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Dream Visits From a Friend

Lots and lots of dreams and perfect recall lately. In many cases I wake up and remember being lucid but somehow the memory of it is barely there. It is as if I am purposefully blocking lucidity in my dreams except for certain moments. The last two nights have been really busy and my memories indicate some “house cleaning” taking place.

There are so many dreams I could recount but I am only going to mention a few because of their significance.

Two Dream Visits

First there are the dream visits by my friend Yvonne Perry, author of Walk-Ins Among Us and owner of the We Are 1 in Spirit website. She resides in Tennessee where I visited her in September, 2016. I also met up with her and another group of walk-in’s in Mt. Shasta, CA in May, 2016. She and her husband have created a beautiful spiritual retreat on their property. They call it Sweet Home Retreat, and it is a magical, fairy protected space to connect, tune in and heal.

Wednesday morning:

I had a dream where I was preparing meals every day of the week as part of my class assignment. Each student was assigned a week where they had to prepare a full meal for all the other students in their class. My week was this week and I had decided to prepare ribs (unhappiness, lack of money, or marriage), slow cooked, with potato (finance concerns) salad for my Friday meal. I choose the ribs over a chicken (cowardice) meal in my mind. I recognize the ribs as a recurring dream symbol upon waking.

I remember being successful with my meal preparation and my meals being a big hit. There is also memory of working very hard to get my house clean and getting the help of my husband and children to clean it. It was the cleanest I had ever seen it and I felt very satisfied and clean when I surveyed our progress. There is specific memory of the kids rooms which were also bathrooms having graffiti (low self-worth) on the walls from others who had visited. I remember specifically asking my husband to tend to the walls.

I asked my mom to help me with the Friday meal by picking up pre-seasoned, pre-cooked ribs for me and then asked her to help with the potato salad because her recipe is the best. I did this while checking my email that morning. I was casually scrolling through FB and enjoying myself, completely oblivious to the time. Then I noticed it was already past 8am and realized I was late for work. I rushed out making sure my mom would get the ribs and help prepare for that night.

When I arrived at work I walked up to a door where I knew my boss was waiting. The halls were all white and shiny metal and it reminded me of a military installation. The door was guarded but when the guy saw me he let me in saying “She’s waiting for you.”

Inside there were computer monitors and screens, like an observation room. My boss, who I recognized as Yvonne Perry, was there and I apologized for being late. She was not upset. She began to talk to me about her memories of when she was my age – 40s – telling me that her memory loss was really a bother but that she is use to it now. She gave examples of things she forgot but specifically I remember her saying, “It’s the dopamine that does it.”

There are moments during my dreams where I am lucid, but they are limited. It is like I am purposefully forgetting my lucidity but not sure why. I know that my lucidity made my dreams very real to me and clear, in fact I recall remarking about how different the experience was. In one memory I am opening my eyes and looking at the walls of my bedroom. My eyes are very heavy with sleep and I think I am in my physical body and awake but I also know I am OOB. The walls are very unfamiliar yet a part of me knows they should be familiar so I talk my self into remembering as I open and close my eyes and focus on the green walls of my bedroom. I experience very real memory loss during this time but do not panic.

In another vivid, lucid memory I am clearing my house. This memory seems to mirror the actual dream where I am cleaning my house except the lucid memory is of knowing that I am not clearing physical debris but energetic debris. I sweep the rooms mentally, noting areas of clutter (energy blocks) and with one thought wipe out the blocks and clear the space. I can see colors too, swirling around – blues, yellows, oranges, etc. It is like a rainbow of energy but the energy at the end is white and “clear” of all color. My house looks like a physical house but it is not at all like the one I live in. It is more like a generic house and my focus is on the bedrooms, all of which have no furniture but are bare, white walls with energetic, colored blobs here and there. In the end, the rooms are cleared of all blobs of color and completely cleaned out.

While clearing the house I recognize that I can control and clear my physical body in a similar way. I do not need physical hands or anything physical to initiate change in my body. Specifically, I apply this to my pleasure centers and am able to initiate Kundalini bliss. 🙂

Early this morning:

I had awakened briefly at 7am and somehow managed to fall back to sleep (rare). I entered a dream scene that was dark and shadowy. I saw my children sitting in front of a TV that was small, white and dated. I asked where our regular TV was and they said, “Daddy took it away”. I was angry at my husband as this is a common occurrence in our home. I remember thinking, “I am done with this!” Note: this part of the dream is likely because when I woke my children were crying and protesting something their father had done, likely taking away the computer/TV.

After talking with my children, specifically my daughter about earrings, I remember a young woman standing in front of me. She said she wanted to change her appearance. Her head then morphed into that of a younger woman. I said it did not match her body. So she literally pulled her skin off like she was wearing a suit. I helped her step out of her skin (shield of inner self, exposing inner self) and she stood there in the body of a 10 year-old girl. I remember us talking as if we were the same person and wondering how I would adjust to the change.

We both went to a computer and watched what seemed like a live court hearing. I don’t recall the specifics except that it had to do with “judgment” and being careful not to judge myself and others.

The dream scene shifted and I was in a kitchen (transformation) with my friend Yvonne. The girl was with me but she looked different and felt grown and like my partner. Her hair was jet black and she was much shorter than me and Yvonne.

I believe we were in Yvonne’s kitchen at Sweet Home. The walls were bright yellow and everything was glowing. In front of me was a plate with dividers. She was explaining the types of food I should eat and pointing to each food. I recall berries, seeds, nuts (walnuts specifically – joy/abundance) and legumes. When she got to the lentils (roots, connection to humanity) I saw them vividly in all colors. She said, “Eat a lot of these.”

I reacted with surprise and my thought was, “I can’t eat like this.” lol I was thinking of only eating nuts and berries all the time and it seemed insufficient. The walnuts especially put me off. I don’t especially enjoy eating them. The thought of eating lots of lentils was unappetizing, too, though I do like them.

As if in response to my thoughts, a jar of something white appeared. I thought it might be kefir but the explanations that came to mind was that it was a food that supported estrogen levels. So, of course, I figured it must be tofu. There was also information that the entire change in diet would support the changes I am currently and will be going through. These changes are not just hormone-related. Ultimately, the message was, “Change your diet to include these things”.

Then Yvonne was standing in front of a cutting board with a steak (raw emotion) on it. She said, “If you insist on eating meat then you should cut off all the fat (overindulgence).” She then showed me how but I saw how difficult it would be and said, “There is no way to get rid of all the marbling.”

For a moment I was looking around at my surroundings, reclined in a chair. To my right was a sign with writing on it. It was white with faded green letters. When I first read it I thought it said Atlanta but upon further inspection I saw “Tennessee” written on the bottom so I knew it couldn’t be Atlanta. I read the top word again and it definitely started with an “A” but my memory is clouded here.

When I woke up I thought, “Athens”. So, I believe the sign said, “Athens, Tennessee.”

Best Places to Live in Athens, TennesseeDream: French Class

I reported to school. It appeared to be a high school. I knew I was late and had to ask someone what period it was. I was told, “8th”. I remembered that my 8th period class was French (language of love) and someone told me that the teacher would not be very forgiving.

When I entered the class the teacher was not upset. He handed me a small piece of paper that had words in lists. It was a test but someone had already completed it but the oral portion had not been. I remember thinking, “I know absolutely nothing about French (feeling unprepared regarding some subject matter, likely love).”

I sat down and observed the class and students. Nothing seemed to be going on. The students were all grouped together, whispering and looking at me. One began to ask me about French, assuming I knew the language enough to take the test. I said, “I know absolutely no French. I wish this were Spanish class….even German. I have spoken German before.” The student laughed and said, “You speak German?” I said, “No, but I can read and pronounce it.” In my memory I recall learning different languages to sing songs my first year in college as a music major. German and French were the most difficult to pronounce. Italian was my favorite. I thought of singing for the class the Italian song I sang for choir tryouts in college, but couldn’t remember the name of it.

Then I was taking a bath (cleansing, renewal) in a side room located next to the classroom. It was open to the room and the teacher came in to talk to me. I was not upset by my nakedness (vulnerability). I remember seeing pink flowers (love) floating in the water with me. The teacher was tall, with dark hair and dressed nicely in a suit.

We talked for a while, me very obviously naked, him fully clothed. I can’t recall our conversation now but the feeling left me nervous and unprepared, much like I felt in the class, as if I would be learning a difficult, foreign language (subconscious message I do not understand).

After waking I remembered the song I wanted to sing for the class – Amarilli, Mia Bella. I sang it in (1995) as part of an audition to be invited into the music program and join choir. Imagine this: Standing on a large theater stage all alone with a light shining on you. The seats below and auditorium are completely dark except for a group of four or five teachers/professors there to judge you. This was me in 1995.

What is funny is that during that audition I also sang a German song. In the middle of the German song I forgot the lyrics to the point that I had to stop and apologize to the group of judges sitting below me in the near empty auditorium. LOL To this day I still laugh about it. Regardless of that hiccup, I made the secondary choir and was invited into the program but I opted not to return to that college my sophomore year.

Yes, I can sing like this. lol

Based on the song memory and symbolism I believe the discussion I had with my teacher was on the subject of love. And likely a reminder that it is important to be able to laugh at yourself when you make a mistake. 😉

Considerations

I am obviously doing clearing work, that I know, but the dreams with my friend Yvonne are curious to me. The message about dopamine and diet come across as significant. I looked up dopamine and memory and turns out that low dopamine can result in memory loss. The diet feels like a suggestion to shift to more of the type of foods in the dream. I tend to pay attention to these kinds of dreams because I have found them to be accurate. For example, not long ago I was told to stop taking Vitamin A, so I did. Not long after I realized my multivitamin had twice the amount I needed so I was taking additional Vitamin A which could have been harmful. Overall, the message from these dreams suggests a change in diet will help me manage certain changes beyond just hormonal ones.

The message about Athens, TN is also interesting. Yesterday, I did an astromap of locations in the US which would be good for me to live in or visit. I had one done years ago which always indicated California but at the suggestion of a friend I revisited my map.

astro_acm_01_dayna.55423.22080

I have reviewed this map before and again kept being drawn to the eastern US, specifically GA and TN. One specific location in TN catches my eye. It is near Knoxville but because of the map scale the specific coordinates are not available. Three lines cross in TN, two specifically around Knoxville. These lines are Venus (DS) and the Moon (MC). The third is Mercury. According to astro.com:

Venus is seen to be the search for unity and a balancing of opposite poles.

Venus located along one of the main axes ensures an extremely pleasant and relaxing time. Social life takes precedent, and meeting people is a more harmonious activity. The more balanced level of energy at these locations promote mutual understanding, and allows for new friendships to be formed. Love relationships are intensified, in fact, these are perfect conditions for getting married and enjoying one’s honeymoon.

Apart from the Sun, the Moon is the most important component within the horoscope, and in Astro Maps, its lines are also considered of major importance. The Moon’s energy lines really affect the emotional and psychic domain, which creates an internal focus.

Similarly, DS and MC meanings are as follows:

DS:

The Descendant lies opposite the Ascendant. This is the point at which the signs of the zodiac and the planets disappear below the horizon. It is a place of meeting and with each sunset, when the cosmos and the Earth melt together, its symbolism is revealed. The Sun, which represents the “I”, dissolves and the “You” appears in its place.

“The Ascendant is the place of self-recognition, the Descendant the place where we recognize others. We find ourselves through the Ascendant but we discover others through the Descendant. 

MC:

The Medium Coeli or Midheaven corresponds to that point where the Sun is culminating. It exerts its strongest influence and throws the smallest shadow. Accordingly, this important point deals with issues such as consciousness, power and reputation. Planets found along the MC, or in aspect to it, exert an influence on these areas of life.

Contact to the MC-axis promotes job prospects, social standing and every type of social engagement. Naturally enough, we can only reap what we have previously sown. If you can accept this, and are prepared to assume responsibility, you will find support and patronage at such locations. MC lines put us in touch with company, state and influential authorities. We think more “prestigiously”, are ambitious and search for recognition. What matters is success and effective performance. Detrimental planetary placements can result in loss of power, job crises and loss of faith in leaders.

There is much more to this, I’m sure, but the draw to this location is strong and now I have a bit more understanding as to why. I have had numerous dreams of TN and have researched transferring my teaching certificate (easy) and job prospects (good) in the area. It would be easy to relocate. Maybe at some point I will and I think my dreams are a result of me mulling over the idea.

Finally, something comes to mind this morning after all this dream recall. On the 8th of June I had an unexpected message come to me. I was watching TV when an energy to my left caught my attention. I was covered in warm, loving energy that wrapped around me. I sensed time slow and a message came through – “It’s time to leave”. I acknowledged the message and was again covered in all-over body energy that was soothing.

Of course, the message could mean anything but it comes to mind now as I write this as does my continued draw to attend a yoga seminar in Atlanta this September.

I am still waiting to see if the message about today (June 15) will come to pass. I was told, “You will need cash.” Of course, don’t we always need cash? lol The only thing so far that has happened is a rock hit my windshield on Wednesday and now there is a crack half-way across it making its way to the driver’s side. It will be $200 to replace but I don’t have to replace it.

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Kundalini Dream: Returned

I was surprised and blown away last night. It’s been a very long time since the Kundalini visited and she came in like a lion. Pounce!

Before I get into that, I knew something was upcoming, though I didn’t post here, obviously. I keep a private blog and wrote some of the messages I received there. I received messages throughout May indicating more “work” needed to be done along with dreams where I continuously pushed away encounters of the Divine or Kundalini kind, waking myself up in outright protest. There were several discussions with guidance about “getting back to work”, all of which I casually acknowledged and ultimately I agreed to move forward. I had no idea really what the specific “work” would be but was told I would need another “catalyst” (God help me). I noted that my guidance told me, “It is not meant to hurt you” and I understood any hurt I experienced in the past was of my own doing.

I’ve been really good at ignoring any hints and external/internal messages up until now. I figured it best to focus on living and not get too caught up analyzing messages that could be interpreted multiple ways. In fact, I realize now, after the fact, that yesterday I received a major hint via song that I noticed but ignored outright. The song was In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins. There was a line from it that I kept singing wrong. I sang, “I’ve been waiting for this summer for all my life…..” Obviously, “summer” should have been “moment”. It so happens today is the last day of school for my kids. Summer is officially here.

Preparation

I crawled into bed and prepared for my nightly meditation. Even before I could close my eyes I was hit with fantastic waves of energy spreading from the center of my spine outward. It was like a blanket of tingly energy hugs wrapping around me over and over in waves. I perceived in front of me, standing in a circle, five Beings, and immediately knew something was up. My partner in Spirit was close and the message was clear that something was coming. What? I had no clue and didn’t attempt to inquire.

The next thing I recall is working with my own energy body. I took a small, sphere of blue light, no bigger than the palm of my hand. Inside it had a white light that looked like a lightning bolt that pulsated and shifted. I used this sphere of blue light to interact with other spheres on my body, specifically one that was white with a golden lining. The sensation of this work was very pleasant. I cannot recall the details of the process except that I started at my head and worked my way down. My physical body responded so intensely to the stimulation of the energy body that it woke me up in orgasmic waves of bliss. Upon waking I knew I had been doing the work on myself as the part of me residing outside of myself. My memory is of two overlapping experiences, which is bizarre in and of itself yet felt completely normal. So normal, in fact, that I returned to sleep almost instantly.

Kundalini Dream: Returned

The beginning of this dream is fuzzy. I remember being with my brother and asking him if I could play his saxophone (a deep connection with someone). He handed it to me and I put my fingers on the keys remembering the sequences of the notes to play the scale. I commented that it had been a long time since I had played and hoped I could remember how. The mouthpiece was not right, however, and I noticed the screws were loose. I informed my brother and showed him the screws. I don’t remember hearing the notes but I do remember playing the scale and it feeling familiar.

The next thing I recall is having a conversation with a friend of mine. She was blonde and slender – very beautiful. She mentioned a birthday party (coming to terms with self) we had all attended and a gift she had been given. It seemed like I had given her the gift (sacrifice made for another). She had decided to return it for reasons unknown and was talking to me about her decision. She informed me that initially when she tried to return it she changed her mind. I told her I understood, that it was a difficult decision but that she should do what she felt was right for her. I felt in no way insulted by her decision to give back what I had gifted to her.

Then she was telling me that she exchanged her gift for something else and handed me the left over money. It was $2. I took the money and she left, satisfied with her decision.

After this I entered into a void where I received a phone call (communication). It was from my physical counterpart. He was checking in on me and asking me to fill him in on what had transpired regarding a “story” I had shared with him long ago. This part is hazy but the feelings are not. I was nervous and undecided as to whether I should tell what happened. I felt embarrassed about the rest of the story because my actions were below what I expected of myself. I had failed. Miserably. And it was difficult to confront and to tell him about how I felt and what I did. To do so would force me to confront my own disappointment and failure.

Then we were face-to-face sitting on the steps of a swimming pool (cleansing, renewal, need to understand feelings). No one else was with us and as far as I know we were both completely naked (of course, right? lol). I called him by name and we hugged. He seemed very amused but kept it to himself only allowing a smirk or two to show now and then. I could feel his amusement but did not take offense because there was compassion and love behind it.

He told me that he had decided to return his gift and showed me a mental image of the gift. It looked like a large, glowing, white book. He mentioned he was on his way to another birthday party but had decided at the last minute to come see me instead. I told him he should go and not waste his time on me, that I would be fine. He insisted on staying telling me I was much more important and he didn’t want to go to the party anyway.

We hugged and kissed many times. I could not believe he was there and kept staring at his face and he kept smirking and chuckling at my reaction (typical). The entire time I was overcome with desire. It was hitting me in waves, intoxicating and familiar. I could feel tears slowly streaming down my face. I was so completely happy.

I heard a male voice say very clearly, “Don’t cry….” With this I was pulled into waking reality, face wet with tears. All my lower chakras were on fire and I was in a state of mild shock. I remember thinking, “Holy Jesus, F*(^% God!”

I couldn’t sleep for a while after that, which is usual after a jolt of Kundalini like that. My partner talked me through it and I reminded myself to not confuse dream reality with waking reality. I told myself multiple times, “It was just a dream.”

kundalini-energy-1

Dream: Withdrawal

Somehow I returned to sleep and fell into a dream about school. I was reminded that I had enrolled in a class early in January but had missed six classes. I saw a calendar in my head and the date was around January 9th. The next class was scheduled for this Friday yet it felt like it was still January. I made the excuse of being caught up in family obligations, totally forgetting that I had class.

The woman I was talking to told me that it looked like I had paid $700 (understanding, wisdom, rewards) toward another class – a special choir (harmony/balance). I asked her if there was any way I could make up the 6 classes I had missed. I mentioned the class by name but only remember that it had the word “education” in it. I assumed the past homework was research papers. I told her I could get a paper done in 5 hours. She said the papers were 5 pagers and that she doubted I could get all six of them done in time. I said I could email the professor but when I looked up the professor’s contact info the only info provided was for her teaching assistant.

Ultimately, I opted to drop all the classes and completely withdraw because I had missed so many classes and “already had my Master’s degree”.

In the end of the dream I returned to a space where I had left my open laptop, a fish aquarium with frogs (change/the unexpected) in it and a large, keyboard (harmony/balance) for playing music. The space felt like my old bedroom at my mom’s house. It was raining (renewal, grace) and I grabbed an umbrella to shield the computer from the rain only someone had already moved the laptop and keyboard. I thanked them (it was a woman) and then went to the aquarium and was told, “They are acting weird.” I said it was likely because they had gone without air and looked down into the tank. There were tiny frogs. I fed them and realized I had never fed them and they were starving.

Messages and Considerations

Every time I woke up last night it felt like I slept the whole night when in reality only an hour or two had passed. It was odd and my dream recall was extremely strong. I had two more dreams after the one above, but won’t recount them here because the symbolism is consistent.

There were messages coming through alongside the dreams. One message was of a coffee cup (awareness) with the word “NOW” written in big letters on the side.

I kept waking up in the midst of conversations with a masculine energy. In one instance he was saying, “We work together. I help you. You help me.”

Not long after that I received the message that I had not treated my body properly and it was too late now. It felt like I was being told that I had misused my preparation time so would have to do with what I had.

Upon waking I heard, “Gemini” and then, “June 15” but I kept thinking “January” instead of “June”. I heard the message twice which brought me out of my reverie and then heard, “You must have cash.” After this final message I couldn’t return to sleep.

I believe the “Gemini” part was for clarification and that January represents something that was going on in that month that was left unfinished or interrupted. The above dream suggests I look back at this past January and any unfinished lessons.

As for the Kundalini dream, the symbolism indicates that a gift was given and returned. The gift was from me to two others and they have both opted to return the gift. In the past I was told that the heart connection I experienced was a gift, so perhaps that is what the gift in the dream symbolizes? The “returned” part also seems to indicate a return to a path, at least that is what it felt like to me anyway.

My initial response to the dreams and returning Kundalini is mixed. The return of the Kundalini is wonderful but there is worry about what will result. The “follow the 8 winds” advice comes to mind. It is easy to say but hard to do in actuality, especially in the presence of the Kundalini.

 

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Message for the Masculine

Masculines…..this post is for you.

Dream: Impending Death

I was traveling to Montana (higher realms of consciousness) to meet up with my ex-husband (masculine aspect) for a long overdue reunion. When I arrived there was a parade (sidetracked from achieving goals) in the middle of the road. A man stopped and told me to avoid the right side of the road because that was for the teachers (guidance). I told him, “I am a teacher, just not in Montana”.

Then my ex-husband (masculine aspect) met up with me and went to visit his parents (merging of masculine and feminine). When we arrived the exterior of the house was being renovated (transformation of self).

Inside it was dark. In the kitchen someone had been repairing the microwave (quick thinking/action). I quickly found a bedroom and tried to nap (avoiding awareness). My ex came in and woke me and told me his parents were home.

Their old dog (protection/loyalty) was the first thing I saw when I got out of the bed. He looked on his last leg and my ex’s mom told me they were looking for someone to take over for the dog’s upcoming death. She gave it a name like “death march” or similar.

My father-in-law came in and I was shocked to see how old he was. He also looked near death. He could barely walk, his face was gray and gaunt and his hair all but gone. I remember looking out at the back yard and noting also that there were now tall trees (growth) where there had been none before.

I went outside with my FIL and we entered a small room that was just his, like a man-cave. Inside, I watched my FIL as he fiddled with a huge, metal box reminiscent of a box one would see for ammo during one of the world wars. He began to talk to me about his upcoming death, mentioning how he wanted me to safeguard his transition.

Something that really caught my attention was that he kept quoting a poem. I don’t remember the words now but he said more than once that it was a written by “Keats”.

After he recited the poem one last time I felt the seriousness of the situation and realized he was about to in fact die and very soon. I went up to him and gave him a hug, wrapping my arms around his broad, fragile shoulders. All at once I was overcome and began to cry in heaving sobs. The love was so overpowering that I could not contain it.

I woke up crying.

I believe this was the poem he was reciting in the dream:

On Death

Can death be sleep, when life is but a dream,
And scenes of bliss pass as a phantom by?
The transient pleasures as a vision seem,
And yet we think the greatest pain’s to die.

How strange it is that man on earth should roam,
And lead a life of woe, but not forsake
His rugged path; nor dare he view alone
His future doom which is but to awake.

When I awoke I assumed the dream was a message about my ex-FIL. I figured he must be sick or dying, or at the very least getting very old. I thought, “He is the same age as my mom – 69. That isn’t very old.” But my tears convinced me I must be clearing my own past and my own feelings of guilt towards my ex’s parents.

Dream: The Replacement

Much to my surprise, I returned to sleep quite easily.

I walked up toward a city park lined with neatly trimmed hedges (obstacles in path). A man was with me and departed to my left, bidding me farewell. On my right was a man, standing alone and looking forlorn as he gazed off into the distance. I knew upon seeing him that he was “the replacement” for the man who just departed. My immediate response was to go to him and assist him however I could.

I climbed over a hedge and stood next to him. He was still staring off into the distance. I took his hand and said something positive to him. His response was to answer in a dull tone and continue to stare. I noticed we were standing on a circular (completion) walking track (life track, path) in the park. I said, “Why don’t you go for a run?” He said nothing so I took his hand in mine and said, “I’ll go with you!”

I led him forward gently and he responded by following. I picked up the pace and we ran, side-by-side, along the track together. I said, “See! Isn’t this nice?” He said nothing, continuing to stare as if in shock.

Eventually we cut across a field full of briars (past trauma) and tall grass (balance/protection). I stumbled and lost his hand. Stopping I said, “I shouldn’t be running in flip flops (relaxed state or lack of commitment)!” Laughing, I put on my flip flop with help from a woman and her grown daughter. We began talking and walked together back to the car.

We passed a car, a Honda CRX, which seats only two. I commented on how awesome the little cars were, getting 42mpg (path of Wholeness is more efficient).

We all climbed into another car – me, the man and the mother and daughter. The mother and I discussed the job prospects of her daughter and asked if I had difficulty getting work. I said no because I was in education. The daughter was in business (rational/logical) and I remember feeling sorry for her for being in the line of work. I also thought the mother must think I was her daughter’s age and was curious as to why. Did I look so young to her?

As we drove on the highway it became apparent that the man, who was driving, was “under the influence” of some “drug”. He began to fall asleep and was talking to someone in his head. Noticing I tried to wake him up as the car veered toward the right (conscious action). Thankfully we just ended up on an exit ramp.

The car stopped and I said, “You obviously can’t drive in your condition.” I got out and wandered up the road a bit to a construction site looking for food. It turned out the construction site looked like the set of a movie or play. I found a large tortilla (wholeness) and took it back to the car offering it to the others.

Inside the car we and the other woman discussed how we would all get home (Home). It was decided that I would drive myself home. Then the mother and daughter would drive themselves home. The man would be left alone to drive himself home. I remember saying, “He will just have to manage it somehow.”

As we departed, we took a left (passivity/subconsious) turn across many lanes of traffic. I remember saying, “Good thing it’s not a one-way street!”

I began to talk to the man, now in the back seat. He allowed me into his “dream”. In the dream we were both underwater (overcome with emotion) aboard a large, wooden ship (emotions/subconscious) that reminded me of a pirate ship. The ship was sailing along freely. Then the man threw out an anchor and the ship stopped and floated upward but not all the way to the surface. I realized he was showing me a representation of his life not in a body (free) and in a body (anchored).

We then boarded his “ship” and went directly to the kitchen (transformation). It looked like a modern kitchen and I remarked that one of his cabinets was warped (secrets).

I awoke suddenly with full awareness of the true meaning behind both dreams.

yin-yang-symbol-variant_318-50138Message

The Divine Masculine and the masculine in general is part of the upcoming “critical juncture” I was recently warned about. The masculine is undergoing – or will be – a massive death/rebirth. This is not the typical death process, for we undergo many within a lifetime. This is an overhaul, a “replacing” of the “old” with the “new”.

If you pay attention to both dreams the symbolism is obvious. The old man and father figure is the “old” masculine. He is preparing for death but the poem indicates that it is more than a death, it is an “awakening”. In the second dream I actually witness the masculine departing and his replacement standing alone seemingly confused and distant. Then I guide him along his path, encouraging him the whole time. This suggests the path of the feminine is to lead the way for the masculine which makes sense because all the focus has, up to this point, been on the “return of the Divine Feminine”. Since we have already undergone the death/rebirth process then it is up to us to help the masculine in his death/rebirth process.

My last post in which I discuss a mini-OBE with my “partner” also points to the “critical juncture” being all about the masculine. It was made clear to me that my inability to move forward was because my masculine side was “stepping on my toes”, which symbolically means interrupting/blocking my path (toes). It was suggested that I be patient with the process and “play” with and “nurture” my masculine side (the boy in my dream).

The message made me smile in awe of the way it was brought to me and how my dreams have shifted since my own transformative “event”. My tendency is to view my dreams as “all about me” but in this instance I recognized how now my dreams are all about collective humanity. My inner-expansion has resulted in an outer-expansion.

Similarly, I was able to see how the imbalance of the masculine (collectively) is directly linked to the inability of the feminine to “act”. We have been “stuck” for some time, unable to act or move forward on our collective missions. My personal experience confirms this. I have felt “ready” for some time but my motivation is nil. Sometimes I will be hit with an urge and begin to act only to find myself losing momentum quickly and retreating.

Within ourselves there is also a transformation occurring. The masculine side/aspect must be redeemed. There is healing along these lines and as a result physical symptoms may persist until the healing completes. Most symptoms will be related to the lower chakras but will vary by individual.  For me, I have been wracked with seemingly unrelated symptoms the past three days alone.

At first it was just minor issues – achy joints and skin ailments. But yesterday I woke with a sore throat that resolved within minutes of waking. Then came minor gastrointestinal upset. I did one hour of yoga which seemed to help. Feeling better, I went on an easy run/jog. When I returned home I was violently ill within 5 minutes only to have the illness vanish after a total body “purge”.

So men, it’s your turn. Get ready. We (the Divine Feminine) are here to support you but we cannot DO it for you.

Note from me – Please get your shit together so I can stop being sick….LOL Just kidding. I do recognize it is MY SHIT, too. 

 

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Dreams, Mini-OBEs and Higher Self Confusion

Lots to share so I hope you’re all ready for a long post…. 🙂

First off, this full moon has me in hyper-drive. I have gone from uninterrupted, deep sleep, to struggling to fall asleep, waking really early (3am!) and then being unable to return to sleep.

To top it all off, my joints are achy and stiff, specifically my knees and elbows. My stomach feels like it has a log in it and I have poison ivy and now more acne issues. But hey, the perpetual crick in my neck is gone so I’m not complaining. lol

Frustrated, I asked last night for some intel – Hey, what’s going on and why am I not in on it? 

Ask and you shall receive….

Dream 

The dream began with me in the car (life path) with my husband. He was driving (masculine/logic in control) and in the middle lane stopped at a light. He realized that he needed to turn right (feminine/intuitive perspective) so moved the car sideways toward the right lane to turn only he couldn’t move because we were stopped at the light. When the traffic began to move he got stuck because everyone drove around him. I told him, “Just keep going straight, we can turn right up the road.” He stalled and I said, “If you don’t want to drive, I can…” So he shifted gears and went straight. I said, “Look for a large jail, the turn is right after.” We did see a large building on the right but it was not a jail. Confused I said, “Just turn up there.” So he turned right at the intersection.

The dream shifted and I was getting out of the car and heading into a building where a gathering was to take place. I remember being self-conscious because I had a large scab (healing process) on my left (masculine) cheek (intimacy or commitment) that I kept picking at (interfering with healing). It was about the size of a peanut. I picked thinking the scab was ready to come off but it bled a ton and I had to put tissue on it to get it to stop.

I went inside knowing I had no makeup to cover it up. Thankfully it was low light inside, like a bar setting. Several others were seated at the bar (feeling barred from something) when I sat down and a “bartender” was behind the bar (I’m creating the barrier). My friend Aryn came and sat down on my left and began to chatter away happily, wanting to catch up. I said to her, “Not now. I look like crap.” She stopped talking and I moved my hair over the scab on my face to hide it. I looked around at the others – there were only four – and the lady behind the bar mentioned it was almost time to start. I said, “Then no one else is coming? Good! I prefer it that way.” One of the other ladies said, “I’m sure the others will be here shortly.”

I walked over to the side where the meeting would be held and a man with orange-red hair came out of a door. Seeing him stopped me in my tracks. For some reason he stood out like a beacon in the darkness. He said to all of us, “Everyone grab a card and have a seat in the circle.” I looked over and saw oversized tarot cards with gold embellishments flash like a movie in my mind. The cards seemed to have images of people on them, people from ancient times.

I turned back to the man and said, “Ian. I know you. We have met before, haven’t we?” He smiled and I saw how odd his red hair was. It was like someone had cut his hair in a mullet but the top, shorter portion, was bowl-shaped and the bottom portion fanned out underneath touching his shoulders. He smiled a friendly smile and said, “Yes. We’ve met before. About two years ago now.” I said, “It’s been a long time, then.” He nodded and I felt somewhat uncomfortable, like I should have seen more of him but hadn’t.

I looked in my purse and noticed I had left my phone (communication/connection) in the car so went back to fetch it while the group waited for the others to arrive. I also hoped to look in the car mirror to reassure myself that I didn’t look as bad as I thought.

Inside the car as I was retrieving my phone a woman with brown hair popped in and said hi, calling me by the wrong name. I said, “My name is Dayna.” She said hi again and as I was about to ask her name she left. I remember recognizing her but was not sure how I knew her and this confused my dream self.

As I walked back inside I saw the sky was painted in purple (devotion, love, kindness, compassion). The clouds were also purple and dotted the skyline. My breath was taken away by the beauty of it. Another person mentioned it was not a good sign, like a storm was coming. I said, “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

The visuals woke me up and I was still face down, my neck feeling a bit stiff from the position I was laying in. I felt the familiar buzzing vibrations and warmth of my guidance/partner and smiled, rolled over and attempted to return to sleep.

Visions

I was greeted with several visions or mini-dreams. In one I was walking along and looked down at a tiny, toy car – a red sports car. It brought me out of my reverie very quickly and I noted the vision.  Seeing the car as so tiny and toy-like was a message about perspective.

In another vision I was inside what looked like an oversized birdcage (loss of freedom). My legs were scrunched up against my stomach and my arms wrapped around them. The bars were distinct and the meaning obvious. The message was that I was like a caged bird and I needed to free myself.

Mini-OBEs

Somehow I managed to return to sleep. In this particular ‘episode’ I was in a room with a couple who had a son. They looked Indian and were wearing Indian clothing, the woman especially beautiful in her flowing gown. I was inside a giant, clawfoot bathtub (self-renewal) and their son was standing outside of it talking to me. He wanted a cup of tea (life satisfaction/contentment). I had a kettle and poured him a cup of Chamomile (patience) tea but he wouldn’t take it. I set it down and said, “It’s Chamomile so it will make you sleepy…..You don’t want it? That’s okay. You don’t have to drink it. ” I set the cup down and realized the bathtub I was in was filled to the top with tea and I was bathing in it.

I smiled and the boy playfully began to push the bathtub to make it rock. It almost fell over but then stabilized. His parents had concerned looks but I reassured them we were just playing.

I watched the couple for a while. They looked so beautiful and connected in each other’s arms. I was a tad bit jealous, wanting what they had. That’s when I noticed I was completely naked inside the tub filled with tea. I stood up as I spoke to them and let them see my nakedness (accepting of myself, lack of shame).

The scene shifted and I was inside a home in the kitchen (transformation is about to take place) talking to someone. I don’t recall much of our conversation now but I remember him. He looked familiar but I’m not sure how or from where I knew him. He was tall, broad shouldered and had sandy blonde, thick hair. His face was a bit rugged looking like he had acne in his younger years. His voice was deep and familiar and reminded me of that of a good ol’ boy – typical Texas accent. Our interaction was friendly, like we knew each other well.

I went up to him to try and get his attention and he ignored me, busy doing something. I can’t recall what I was trying to talk to him about but his rebuttal was not mean and I playfully remarked that he was purposefully ignoring me. His eyes stayed focused on what he was doing. My memory only shows something mechanical but what, I cannot say.

At some point I recognized I was OOB and could explore, so I shifted out of my dream body and attempted to fly away. The free feeling was exhilarating! The response back was immediate and without words. It said, “You know better than that.” I was sucked right back into my body but bypassed the typical blackout and went directly back into the kitchen scene. I remember not caring and understanding that I needed to stay where I was, but that didn’t keep me from trying again.

This time, however, I did not attempt to take control of the “dream”/experience I was having. Instead I let myself stabilize in the scene and played along with it. The feeling here was that I “controlled” the playful side, pulling her “into” me and thus becoming both her and me at the same time.

I once again went up to my male friend. This time he was standing in the middle of the room looking away from me. I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward me into a hug. He seemed to be playing hard to get. It felt like we knew each other well and we were being playful. He continued to look away from me, pretending to ignore me. I was pressed up against him and said something indicating I wanted to dance (freedom, balance, harmony). He responded by stepping on my foot. I said, “So you’re going to step on my foot?” He said, “You know it.” We both laughed and then danced awkwardly for a bit, playing around, his foot continuing to get in the way of mine (my masculine side is slowing me down, getting in my way).

For some reason we stopped and stood there holding each other, face to face. I wasted no time. grabbed his mouth and kissed him. I could feel the sensation of his lips on mine as well as his arms wrapped around me and his body next to mine. It was so real and solid. Our kiss was like a half-French kiss, not full tongue but a little here and there. It was nice and familiar, like we had kissed a million times.

Sadly, the second kiss and the very physical sensations that went with it brought me out of the experience. Not long after I woke, I noticed a pain in my tailbone radiating through to my perineum. It was uncomfortable enough to keep me from returning to sleep.

Messages

As I lingered in bed the pain subsided. I suspect my root chakra had activated and some major blockage was clearing.

My partner/guide was close and I knew he was the man in my dream. I asked him why he looked different every time. I have asked this many times before. He said, “I have many faces, as do you.” I have gotten this answer every time but this time I understood what he meant because I have experienced it. We are One but the concept of Oneness is difficult for humans to understand. Human conceptualization of Oneness is a futile attempt at understanding something that cannot be understood from a position of separation. It takes Being it to understand it.

With this I told my partner how I would explain it to others. He complimented me on my ability to put into words something so few can. Of course, I can’t recall what I said now. lol I remember the visuals in my mind, though. I saw humans and how we try to put everything on a timeline, thus we see before and after; past, present and future. Events are all separate and occuring in an orderly fashion. In Spirit, none of this exists. Before/after – past, present, future – they are all NOW. The experience of NOW via human perception would seem very chaotic and jumbled; senseless.

Similarly, people we encounter after we drop these human bodies and corresponding identities are all NOW, too. Thus, your father who passed before you would be familiar as your father in your most recent incarnation but you would also know him as all his past, present and future personalities as well, which are endless. His face may look as it did initially but the more you leave behind Time, the more your perception would change until all you see in him is You. The difference in perception comes with attachment (emotional/karmic). As you release the human tendency toward attachment you embrace your Infinite Self, thus recognizing your Oneness with All that Is.

I laughed as I considered my personality in this lifetime as a “child” of mine, one that I dote upon. For the first time in this lifetime, after years of being referred to my “partner” in Spirit as a “child”, I understood what it meant.

As I write this I recall part of my conversation with the man in my OBE. He said to me, “Be good”, which I have heard from him countless times and never quite understood. In the experience with him I recognized what he meant was in reference to an aspect or part of my personality I consider “good”. It’s the part of me that seeks to please others and is compliant and pleasant. She is happy-go-lucky, go-with-the-flow, innocent but not naive. I recognized her response within me to his request and then she “partitioned off” and become a separate identity. Yet I was still her and felt to be her. So there I was standing and watching this part of me come out of me, standing in front of us smiling. She was me and I her but she also had her own identity, separate and independent but cooperative and understanding of our connection and Oneness.

Imagine that, just multiplied by infinity. Then meet one of yourself and say hi. That was the person on the street you greeted with a smile. That was the man who accidentally cut you off in traffic and who you rudely honked your horn at and cussed out. That is your mom who you love with all your heart but wish would leave you alone. That is your son. Your daughter. Your worst enemy. Your best friend.

Yep. All you.

I am reminded now of the vision of the tiny car. Cars = life path. They represent us as individuals. It being super tiny indicates that I am being asked to take a larger view of my path and life, to see just how tiny I am in comparison to it all. This perspective is needed now.

crossroad at dawn in rural landscape

Critical Intersection Ahead

There was a message I forgot to mention. I remember hearing that a critical intersection was approaching and I was being prepared for it. Not everyone has reached this intersection. It was made clear that I am not to make those not yet at this juncture “wrong” for seemingly being “behind” because they are not behind but exactly where they should be. I understood but wanted to mention it nonetheless in case those of you reading who are also at this juncture, or perhaps way beyond it, find yourself falling victim to the “us vs. them” mentality. We are all equal in this race. There are no winners or losers. We all cross the finish line at different times but we are only victorious when the last runner crosses the finish line and not a moment before that.

Embodiment and Higher Self Confusion

It was also reiterated to me that I need to do my part and I said, “Of course. Anything. What do I do?” Though not directly stated, I was reminded of a visual representation I received not long ago about the Embodiment (soul transfer/soul exchange/walk-in) process. Then I heard the term, “Higher-Self Confusion”. I was shown how this is part of the process and that just because you have embodied your HS does not mean you somehow become flawless, perfect and without human Ego. It only means you are integrating aspects which have long been denied you in human form. Now, though, memory is returning. The HS Confusion comes in when you have recently undergone embodiment, experienced the transformative process and must integrate the experience. Your human consciousness is left confused.

HS Confusion occurs as we take the pieces of HS we embodied and mix it with our human self. I know I wonder each time, “Why am I seeming to ‘return’ to who/what I once was? Why can I not remain as I was during embodiment?” It feels like a let-down, like it was all a dream or fantasy as reality once again sets in. For me, I have experienced two MAJOR embodiment periods, the first lasted two weeks and the second three weeks (more actually).

This is where the “demonstration” comes in. I was shown how to show the embodiment process and told that if I do a video of this demonstration it will not only give you all an idea of what embodiment IS but also why it results in HS Confusion. What you will see is that as the HS comes into the human consciousness at first it is distinctly separate. You can see the individual stream against the backdrop of the human energy/consciousness. As time passes, however, the HS stream blends into the human consciousness stream and what is left is a brand new blended consciousness.

I have not even watched the video so I hope it is decent. lol Just no time to go back and refilm to make it “perfect”. I figure it says what it needs to say without lots of fluff.

I know I didn’t talk too much about my experience of embodiment so I will a little now. Like I say in the video, my embodiment experiences have lasted weeks. My first experience was two weeks and the most recent three weeks.

Each time I experience embodiment I have specific “symptoms”, the most prominent being that my crown is wide open. There is also a sense of being more than me; of being BIGGER than myself and Remembering SO SO MUCH. There is nothing but the present moment. Anything past or future is muddy, my mind seeming to forget the existence of both. I simply exist and enjoy my existence. It is magical and unforgettable. I am HOME.

Not everyone will experience embodiment like me. Some may have only hints of it lasting mere minutes while others may walk around like I did for much longer than I did. Some even say they exist in the embodied state all the time. I believe we will all be like that eventually, when we are “full up” and completely merged.

Anyway, if you got this far, hope you enjoyed the read and video. Please like and share both this post and the video if you have time/desire.

Namaste,

Dayna

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Stepping Up…for Real This Time

These requests come from within only every once in a while. I’ve felt them a few times but I can’t say I have answered the Call the way I should. I feel that I have fallen short each time, never quite fully devoted to what I signed up for.

My dreams are indicating it is time to shift from healing self to healing humanity; from individualized healing to universal/collective healing. Messages and syncs line up with this message as well. Time to grow. Time to expand.

Of course, healing self is healing humanity, but this is at the micro level really. We can only spend so much time on the self. Eventually we have to step beyond the ME to the US.

The messages come through in my dreams as me being encouraged to renovate another house, one that is not mine (as in my own self/path) but one that is shared – a communal  living situation (Earth/Humanity/the Collective). I am resistant, however, citing all sorts of reasons, primarily my children, for why I have been absent from the community for so long. It is my Home after all, but I stay away, clinging to my lingering attachments and responsibilities. The message that assisting the collective is also assisting my family seems to go completely over my head. I am hesitant and overly concerned about losing that which I have created in this lifetime.

But mostly there is a sense of the unknown and the typical fear that goes with it. The growth ahead is magnificent beyond compare. There is freedom written all over it. But do I really want that kind of freedom? At what cost?

The word “maturity” has been an almost constant for me as well. Anytime I seek to explain the transformation I recently went through – my own personal “event” –  the word “mature” comes to mind as a descriptor. My guidance doesn’t tell me this….I KNOW it. Yet what does it even mean? That I was a baby and now I’m “all grown up?”

The symbolism was present prior to the “event” – a bird being kicked out of the nest, forced to use it’s wings to fly; the butterfly emerging from the cocoon, wings still wet and unable yet to fly, patiently waiting for the right moment to take flight. These symbols stating unequivocally that at some point I would have to fly and no one was going to help me – no one could.  I have within me the means, the instinct (intuition) to fly, I just need to Remember it.

For days now I have awakened to a song. Only recently did I take the time to really inspect the lyrics to find out what it was telling me.

At first I thought the song was describing a relationship dilemma. Then, I thought perhaps it was about my Higher Self asking me to not ignore my relationship with mySelf. But now, I realize the message is much more than that. It goes beyond me, myself and I. It asks me to embrace the greater connection, the connection with ALL that IS; thus embracing my connection as being One with humanity, with the collective, with everyone and everything.

Only this morning did I contact the fear that is linked to my resistance. The fear is that I will be devoured by the connection to Source, to cease to exist as Me somehow. Ego is still there, clinging to the last remnants of what makes me, me. Separation, individuality, is familiar and comfortable. Safe.

There is also the fear of what it means to embrace the feeling. It is ginormous. It is compelling in its magnitude. To accept it means I no longer live in a bubble, inside my little me world, ignoring the We world.

My dreams also indicate that I am listening. The hesitation will not be long-lasting. I know what awaits me. I’ve been there. Jumped in head first. I only hesitate because I am aware of my very human tendencies that seek pleasure over pain. My fear stems from worry that I will fall prey to those tendencies again and be unable to control myself. My past experiences say, “Don’t go there. Remember what happened?”

My heart says this will be different. How? I’m unsure but I touched on the difference for only a moment this morning before my human alarms went off, pulling me out of the dreamstate in a panicked frenzy of, “Oh no you don’t!” lol The Kundalini stirring in ways unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time. But the peace, the utter bliss of connection very obvious. The message clear, “Trust. Love. Acceptance. Warmth” and most of all “Peace.”

How I can go from full acceptance to resistance almost over night is beyond me but I know it is purposeful. I need to observe this part of myself right now. I need to see the remaining resistance so that I can Love and accept it, pull it close and hug it away. But most of all, I need to accept that this Universal Love is real and goes beyond just one connection or two. It is ALL connection and we don’t just reserve it for a special few. Until I can embrace this reality, I cannot fulfill my mission. Humanity is shifting and I must shift with it. One day we will all feel connected to each other like I am now feeling connected to a mere few.

To give you an idea of what I mean, I will share a vision I received a couple of weeks ago. I was considering my past “addiction” to cigarettes and realized it was not the nicotine that kept me smoking but the consideration that in some messed up way smoking equated to feeling a connection to others; a belonging that I didn’t feel otherwise. Because when I smoked it was in social situations, when I felt accepted and part of a group even if only for a moment.

I was able to see also how all those who smoked with me felt like me. Separate. Alone. Seeking but unable to find. How similar we all are, I thought.

Then I was shown how this looked from a Higher perspective. I saw millions of pupa-looking cocoons each representing humans. Each pupa was surrounded in a shell separating them from the others. They were right next to each other but never could sense the other because their protective shells kept them apart.

Then a “wave” came over them and their shells burst open at the tops. Suddenly, everyone of them could sense the other. Their separation ended. Each could feel and sense the other as if they were them. They became as One but also separate. This, I was told, is what is happening to humanity. It is beyond telepathy. It is Oneness.

It’s the start of us, waking up, come on
Are you ready? I’ll be ready
I don’t want control, I want to let go
Are you ready? I’ll be ready
Cause now it’s time to let them know
We are ready