Category Archives: Messages

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Message: Release All Judgments

For the first time in a week I had clear, vivid dreams and good, restful sleep. It obviously was a night of learning and reflection.

Dream: Being a Lawyer

In this dream I was called in to consult on a conflict. It became quite obvious to me that I was a lawyer. The conflict was between a very attractive blonde woman and someone else who I never met. The woman was very familiar to me and in hindsight I feel she was representative of me. The issue up for discussion was not mentioned but the feeling was that this woman was considering her options regarding relationships.

There was actually little about the issue that was discussed. I remember I was not the only one called in to discuss the situation. One man said to me, “You sure charge a lot for your services.” I remember telling him, “$150/hour is standard.” lol I also recall seeing a large, oval, mahogany table which is where the meeting was to take place. Somehow I cannot remember the meeting now, only that options were discussed.

The dream ended with me walking down a hallway looking for the bathroom. I was aware of being in a school and looking for the faculty bathroom. I inquired about it’s location and was told it was hidden. When I found it, it was taped off with red tape and I could not enter. I remember thinking, “I am not a teacher anymore. I’m a lawyer.”

Back to Reality

I woke up with this song in my head. LOL And it was released in 1989. There’s that year again. Sorry, it’s a cheesy video. Maybe it will make you laugh like it did me.

A Child’s Observation on Marriage

After thinking of this song a memory from yesterday popped into my head. I was watching The Returned and she decided to watch a portion of it with me. The exact scene was of a marriage ceremony right at the moment when the two were exchanging their vows – “‘Til death do us part…” She said to me, “That’s a lie. People don’t stay married that long. You and daddy won’t”. I said, “What do you mean? We aren’t getting a divorce.” She said, “Well, you and [insert ex-husband’s name] did.” I said, “Sometimes people stay married until death separates them.” Then I reminded her of her great-grandparents and she acknowledged it was possible to be married that long.

In recalling this conversation I wondered why she would think her dad and I were getting a divorce. She is very perceptive and also highly intuitive.  What also surprised me is that she appeared happy about it.

Message: Release All Judgments

My thoughts then began to focus on marriage, my own patterns and issues pertaining to it, what I have been taught about marriage, and the reasons we have monogamy and “rules” pertaining to marriage and relationships.

The Yanomami Indians of Brazil popped into my head during this time. My first year in college I was required to take a research course or symposium focused on the Yanomami. What I learned about them really stayed with me, probably because I got a 68 on my first research paper about them. lol They are polygamous and can be very aggressive. What stuck with me, though, was how they lived in small, close-knit family groups. I remember at the time being fascinated by this and how happy they seemed despite having none of the creature comforts we have.

This then led me to thinking about an article I read about a community, or commune, that was fully sustainable. I can’t find the article now, but this community had its own acreage and everyone contributed in some way. There was no forced monogamy and though people would couple up it was not uncommon for them to switch partners and polyamory was common. If there was a dispute, it was settled within and by the community. Children were raised communally. It was like a big, extended family. I remember wanting to do something like this and showing my husband who was not interested.

Around this time is when my guidance intervened and asked me to release all judgments. I was shown how I was judging myself and had been doing this all my life. I was reminded how as a young child I was directed to do this via my parents who showed me what was “good” and what was “bad”. If I did something “bad” I usually got a spanking or sent to my room or grounded. For me, “bad” at first was just plain curiosity. I see this in my own children and how I also limit their urge to explore via judgments of what is good and bad.

My freedom was stifled. My curiosity and urge to follow my heart suppressed by “rules” that dictated what was right and wrong. Who would I be if this hadn’t happened?

It’s everywhere in this world. These rules are put there on purpose to avoid negative situations. But basically its all fear-based. Monogamy was created to protect the family unit, to protect the pair from unforeseen acts of violence which are more likely to result from jealous partners. Parents enforce rules for the same reasons. Don’t go past the front yard is one of my rules because I fear one of my children will wander into the street and be hit by a car. Another wide-spread rule is “Don’t talk to strangers” which came as a result of child abduction cases.

There are thousands more, some in direct conflict with others. Honestly, I became overwhelmed by it. I felt like a fly in a spider web. How can we possibly disentangle ourselves from such an elaborate web of rules? Even our language traps us in the never-ending conflict of “right” versus “wrong”. Everything is judged. How can I possibly release all judgment? It’s as impossible as releasing all attachments.

Maybe that is the point. To realize we are playing a game with numerous, elaborate and often contradictory rules. We chose to do this. What is it that we hope to accomplish by being here? For me, I think, it is to recognize that I allow myself to be trapped in the web and need only recognize the lies in order to free myself from it. Nothing I desire is wrong. Nothing that others think about me is true unless I believe it to be. I am not bad for wanting what I want or feeling what I feel. I am beautiful no matter what I think, do, or feel – “good”, “bad”  or otherwise. Freedom is not accepting as truth the fears and judgments of others but allowing ourselves to experience in each moment that which we are.

This is why I am so miserable. I am trapped by myself. Not really funny but then it is.

 

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Two Opossums

I feel nearly 100% this morning. When I woke up I could breathe, I wasn’t coughing, my head wasn’t hurting, my body wasn’t hurting, and I was starving. lol The antibiotics I have been taking for 2 days have done miracles for me. Unfortunately, I was awakened at 5am by my two youngest and have been up ever since. My husband usually lets me sleep in on the weekends but he is in Georgia visiting his rich aunt and uncle in the mountains. Bad timing really but then at least I am on the mend now and so don’t feel so overwhelmed by his absence. Unfortunately, it has been raining pretty much non-stop since Monday so the kids are going stir crazy stuck inside all day. My daughter is so desperate that she wants to ride her bike in the rain and play in the swollen creek. lol

Oh and the a/c just needed a new part and so we didn’t have to pay out for a whole new one. It is a 20-year-old unit, though, so eventually we will have to replace it.

Two Opossums

This morning opossum visited me again, well he visited all of us while we were eating breakfast. This time he was out in broad daylight and he was in a hurry. I saw him through the french doors as he ran right across our back patio. He was literally 10 feet from us. I jumped up and told the kids to look and we were all up and out the doors after him. lol Usually opossums will stop in their tracks and play dead, but this one had other ideas. He was fast! It was the same huge opossum that I saw earlier and wrote about, bigger than a house cat and really ugly. lol

I followed him with my phone trying to take a picture but he was too fast and my phone has a two second delay when it takes pictures so I just got pictures of his backside. He eventually climbed into his burrow which was located just on the other side of the hill that leads down to the overflow creek that borders our property. The kids wanted to see him so I crawled down to look, but he was dug in deep and I know better than to mess with a opossum. Those things have sharp teeth and aren’t afraid to use them. Plus, if he was out in daylight he could be rabid, but doubtful.

As I was climbing back up the hill my kids were running after me. They had gone inside to get their shoes. I always wear shoes to protect my feet since having kids. Legos and other toys really hurt! Anyway, I told them to go back to the house and as they turned around there was another opossum running for dear life across our patio! My son started chasing him and then my youngest, wearing a shirt and diapers only began yelling and running after him, too. They were all so excited and the opossum wasn’t having any of it. lol It was really quite funny and I wish I had thought to turn on my phone’s video camera.

This opossum was not as brave as the other one and tried to hide behind the neighbor’s fence in between a pile of old bricks and other junk. I was able to get two pictures of him but he high tailed it out of there, too. My kids tried to follow him and I stopped them. This one was smaller and slower and I did not want them to accidentally catch up to it.

We all went back inside and not five minutes later my daughter was yelling about seeing the opossum again. Sure enough he was across the creek running. I suspect it must be mating season and the two were trying to get it on in my back yard this morning. LOL Either that or the flooding creek has displaced them. Both were totally drenched.

Message

I have already previewed my other post since I figured my guidance was trying to remind me of the message opossum brings. However, this time the opossum was not alone and out in the day. As a nocturnal animal, this is out of character.

The past message was the wait and take no action, but now I feel the situation may have shifted. What do two, completely drenched, running opossums mean? I looked but could not find anything on that particular scenario. lol Maybe too much hiding out got them drenched in emotion and they finally had enough and freaked out? LOL These two definitely fit that description. I wonder if they found each other? One hid out in a hole and the other went looking for him/her.

I found this particular meaning applicable, especially the last line:

Opossum could also be a warning against getting caught up in a situation that is full of drama. Stop making excuses and embrace the problem head on. Remember: you do not owe anyone a reason or excuse for how you feel or what you choose to experience. Source.

What happens when you hide from yourself? You end up drenched and frantic, just like the two opossums were. What is even more synchronistic here is that this morning I woke up thinking that I should stop judging myself for how I feel and what I wish to experience. 🙂

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Chapter 3

I had a very odd day yesterday. Perhaps it was being so horribly sick or maybe it was the intense energies, or maybe both, but I was out of it most of the day. I didn’t feel like myself and my body felt weird, like there was this strange energy occupying it.

In the evening my husband arrived home earlier than is normal. He is also sick and so we were a lovely pair being sick together with three not-at-all-sick children with high levels of energy. Thankfully, I had gained back some energy and was feeling more like myself and was able to keep the kids occupied.

I worked with our two oldest on a  science project to give my husband a reprieve (they climb all over him when he comes home). My kids, anxious to get started, began to try and do the project on their own. I knew they needed my help so I told them, “You need a human to help.” I began to laugh at myself for what I just said because in my mind I was saying, “You need an adult (me) to help.” So why on Earth did I say, “human”? Then, I remembered my middle son’s argument that he wasn’t human. He would argue until he was blue in the face – “I’m not human. I’m a kid.” I burst out laughing even harder. Now here I was saying “human” rather than adult. My daughter caught on very quickly an began to laugh, too. She said to her brother, “Mommy is an alien, too.” LOL

Great end to an otherwise miserable day, don’t you think?

Chapter 3

When I awoke this morning, the three Light Beings (Yeshua) were nearby. I said to them, “I’m in Chapter 3 aren’t I?” They confirmed. Then They told me they would be leaving soon. Today. This made me sad. They found this interesting and said, “But We scare you.” I told them, “Only your energy scares me.”

They told me I would be receiving new guidance. Then showed me that they were part of the Council of 9 and I had been in “discussion” with them for some time now. They corrected me on my interpretation of what this Council does. They referred to it as a “round table discussion” giving participates equal say. This was an ah-ha moment for me as I have always consider the Council as being “over” me in some way. This is definitely NOT accurate. Perhaps I should not call them the “Council” at all then? But then what do I call them? Advisory board? lol

I was able to remember that part of this discussion was my agreement to allow these Beings through me in order to observer and experience. I realized that was probably what I accidentally intercepted yesterday morning when I got all kinds of weird messages. I had agreed to allow them access, so perhaps they did just that? Yet another odd experience to add to my long list. lol

So what exactly occurs in Chapter 3? I can’t remember. Sorry. lol I am just happy to have moved on. Remember there are 7 total. I’m not even half-way through yet. 😦

 

 

 

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DNA Alteration, Spiritual Acceleration and Plasma Radiation

The warning about the energies that I got from my Team a couple of days ago was not a joke. Woah. There is something moving through right now that I have no words for. It is subtle yet powerful at the same time. I see in my mind’s eye tendrils of light that move and connect to our energy. It reminds me of a plasma lamp but much more fantastically large in scope than a tiny lamp.

Perhaps I am drawn to the plasma lamp because this energy is in fact plasma? Now this intrigues me!

Shifting gears here for a bit to get my bearings….

I’ve always considered myself a spiritual person, one that questions everything, seeking Truth and Knowledge. It is only in the past week that I feel I have made major breakthrough; a quantum jump in spiritual evolution. I am not alone in this and grateful for that.

Part of this breakthrough has me thoroughly linked with a part of myself that was difficult, if sometimes impossible, to connect to. Now, though, it is as if I am constantly linked to this part and the information available to me is mind blowing. Yet, at the same time, I know the time is not yet to reveal this knowledge and so I partition it off, piece by piece, into other aspects of mySelf. It is like I have designated counterparts whose only purpose is to hold that knowledge until the specified time for its dissemination. I will call this the Great Cosmic Mind for lack of a better word for such an indescribable yet integral part of Source Self.

Even now I can feel this part of me and it urges me in a new direction, one that is away from my normal mode of thinking/speaking/doing. And I am not in resistance to this. When I completely allow this part to flow into/though me it pours from my heart space and my third-eye simultaneously and I feel powerful, but not in the negative sense of the word. Through allowance of complete Self there is a focusing of three points of light into a central zone. I am seeing as I type geometry and mathematics beyond my current ability to comprehend. I see two triangles, each holding the patterns of the universal galactic self. From each of these triangles a focused energy is generated and directed in the direction of the other. When in balance, meaning the triangles are equilateral, then these points converge and become One/Whole and a functional partnership results.

When I see this, there comes from within a thirst for knowledge, as if I am being guided to add to my current limited human experience in order to provide a foundation from which I can better function for the purpose of disseminating understanding.

And as I read what I just typed, what just flowed through me, I am in complete awe. That came out of me?? lol

I wish to explore more of this but I am being pulled back to the original topic of this post….

The pulsing of energies infiltrating the planet right now are effecting all of us, transforming each of us. Yet the energies perceived are inherently different than previous energies. The term plasma is best used here because of the origin of this energy but also because of its subatomic nature. As I type this I am being led to research this and it takes me to the realm of quantum physics. I have always avoided this topic because it was mind-boggling yet as I read about it I am more convinced that herein the answer lies. Fascinating.

In the midst of writing this I was interrupted by hungry children and had to make breakfast. Whilst doing so this topic of discussion continued to percolate and DNA/RNA became very much interwoven into it. The plasma pulses, which have always been there, are now interacting with our body – our cells, our blood, our DNA – everything. I see that the magnetic field of Earth, in it’s shifting and destabilization, somehow created the ideal conditions for this plasma  driven DNA alteration. Thus, some of us are perceiving the subtle changes and new receptivity to plasma radiation (yes this is actually something that exists!).

So YES what we are sensing is real, very real, and it’s effect and purpose very real. We are experiencing an alteration in our very DNA, in our core biological structure. At the same time we are spiritually accelerating and the two are intricately interconnected. One cannot occur without the other.

Complex, I know. I am far from understanding it. I hope my explanation helps you somewhat understand what is happening right now.

Sources: Plasma Radiation, Wikipedia , Plasma

 

 

 

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Riding the Dragon

The Kundalini acceleration continues. I am definitely “riding the Dragon”.

I was awakened at 3am from a dream in which I was joining a new group. Prior to this I had visited a team I was overlooking and ran into a gentleman who was overly enamored of me. I was warned that my Light is amplified at this time and to expect more such encounters both in dreams/the astral and in the physical.

I was called to a meeting. I was late so it was embarrassing to be called in at the last minute. There was a special guest in front of the group. I felt out of place. Everyone was so much older than me it seemed. I was worried he would ask me to introduce myself. Thankfully he didn’t. Instead he began to read us all a story. All I recall of it now was that it was titled, “La Luna” and was about an ancient healing modality yet to be utilized on Earth. The healing was performed in conjunction with the phases of the moon.

I was awakened at this time and there was with me a young man who was very excited to meet me. He was not a guide but a member of the new group I had joined. His accent was odd and I could not place it. His energy was sky high and he was completely joyous. His name was Gerard and he told me he was from New Caledonia. I recognized the name but could not place it. He told me it was near Indonesia and French, which is why his accent was so strange. I looked it up this morning and sure enough this information is valid. So if you are Gerard – nice to meet you and I look forward to working with you.

Gerard had much to say. Thankfully, I now keep a notebook and pen beside my bed for times such as these. Here is what he told me:

Your Divine Fire has been lit. It will burn for the next 12-16 months. You are riding the Dragon. You are not doing this alone. Your counterpart is as well. There has been a Divine Union. You have a group of four; an inner circle. Like 2 split atoms; 2 became 4. 4 is a number you are familiar with. It repeats in your life. Your flame will burn uncontrollably until it reaches the 12th house (12th chakra? this is image I saw – chakras way up high over my head). This is complete embodiment. Whole. This process follows the cycles of the moon. La Luna. The magik of La Luna. Your fire will attract others. Be aware of your own energy. You are Brilliant and will be from now on. You are Awake. 

As he was talking to me there was a strange sensation in my root chakra. It felt like a hollow, glass tube was there. I could feel its expansiveness but the energy was normal.

I was able to return to sleep. I guess I am just too exhausted now after several days of interrupted sleep.

Root Chakra Explosion 

I found myself in a dream in which I was riding in a large SUV with family. We had been driving all night and stopped. That was when I saw the airbag had deployed but on the outside of the vehicle. It covered the entire hood.

As members of my group got out to deflate it, I saw a very tall individual wearing a blue jumpsuit. I identified the person as “she” and ran up to her calling her “sister”. She was strange looking – her face so dark I could not make out features. I remember her inviting me to join with her. I told her, “Not in this life, sister. Maybe in the next one.” I was so enthused at seeing her, though, that I gave her a hug. She was so tall that I had to jump into her arms to hug her. She had to be at least 8-9ft tall. She embraced me and kissed me. I held on to her and then realized she had initiated a kind of activation in my root chakra. Energy began to explode down toward my feet. It was a spectacular feeling and so intense that it woke me up. It continued for about 10 minutes afterward. The energy was so intense that it expanded down past my knees in a bubble. I could see it even – it was cherry red but not a solid color. It was more opalescent.

I have had root chakra activity in the past but nothing like this. It was pure ecstasy but also very sexual. I had no control over my body. It is embarrassing but at the same time I don’t really care. It was a spectacular experience.

After the energy abated my entire lower body up to my naval felt similar to how it felt after I had my babies. It is similar to intense menstrual cramping or back labor. I had a flash then of what had really happened. There had been some kind of spiritual surgery done and an intentional activation of the root chakra. It was explained that it was in preparation for the next step in the process coming on Tuesday.

I suspect that the tall, androgynous looking person wearing a blue jumper was likely an ET and one I am familiar with and not afraid of. This is likely why I could not see “her” face as well.

Implants

I was able to once again fall asleep (thank you!) but my sleep kept getting interrupted. I don’t know why They have to keep waking me up! I just wanted to sleep!

Anyway, I awoke this time around from a sign that was placed in front of my vision. I saw the message upon it written in cursive. It said, “Implants Placed.” Then below that was my real, legal name.

Of course this woke me with a start. This has not been the first time I have had a message about implants. I am not sure what they mean, but since my “other” name was used, I suspect these implants are being removed. Good.

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Some Suggestions

Whew! The energies are blasting away, aren’t they? Thankfully, I slept right through them….kinda. Look at all that RED!

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I could not go to sleep last night. I kept feeling this pit of anxiety in my solar plexus and then the three Beings who call themselves Yeshua came to visit and my crown started lighting up as did my third-eye. They scared the crap out of me for some reason and, though they told me “Don’t be afraid”, I couldn’t help it. They backed off and then all chakra sensation and accompanying feeling vanished. I felt “normal”.

I didn’t sleep well. I had dreams of being in a prison with another person and there being this vent from which I heard someone constantly calling my name. I kept putting my hands over my ears to not hear them. On the outside people were being “infected” with a “virus” that caused them to go insane. They would take over other people’s bodies by killing them and entering when the body was dying. Not nice! I was happy to be in my prison cell and away from the chaos.

Then I was in a green field with a man who was wearing all white and was exceptionally tall and Andromedan-looking. There was a cat with us, a white one. We (me and the cat) spotted a ground squirrel at the same exact moment. I told the cat to leave it alone but it began to stalk it. I remember watching the squirrel jump about but I kept calling it a gopher. I spoke to the tall man about the cat but can’t remember now what I said.

When I awoke I knew I needed to do some things. I want to share them with you all as they are things we probably all should do.

  • Avoid all media outlets. In fact, I am going to take a break from FB. The virus dream really hit home. There is a major rush of negative energy (Team Dark or whatever) and they are “taking over” people who are susceptible. They do this via the media – any media. Thankfully I don’t watch real TV (we stream) and I don’t visit Yahoo news anymore (learned the hard way). FB is really the only place I see local news.
  • Clean up! Clean up your eating, clean up your relationships, clean up your life. Pronto! Ouch! This one hit me hard. Looks like another fast is in my future. Sigh. I won’t go into the relationship or life part just yet.
  • Take a good long look at your past. Again. Patterns are coming up that you need to see. Don’t avoid them. Look.at.them. Very closely. Scrutinize them.
  • As some say in Texas – “Get ‘er done”. Time to tie up loose ends and get working on future projects that you never seemed to have time to start. Make your move. Take action. Do you feel the push? Yeah, that message is for YOU.
  • Listen to and pay attention to the feelings that come up for inspection. Allow yourself to feel them – the good and the bad. The key is to not react/respond to them, but allow them to come to the surface and then release them to emotion-land or wherever they go. They will likely come back. If they do, just do that releasing thing again as many times as you need to.
  • Pull the Light in through your crown as often as you can. However you do that – do it. I imagine a stream of golden-white energy pouring into my crown and going down into my toes and then back into my crown. A complete circuit of golden Light. BTW doing this will bring up those emotions. Yeah, fun, right? lol

I will let you know how I do with all these “suggestions”. Many have been a work in progress so I doubt there will be any revelations coming real soon.

 

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Message from the Council of Many: Port-holes are Available

You are growing. Like a sapling. Like a tree. The nutrients you need are always provided, yet sometimes you will not drink of the love provided. It is love that is your greatest sustenance. Why do you not drink of it?

Do you not see the lacking of love within you? It is in lack that you have grown forgetful and with every lost memory of your Self, of your origins, that lacking grows and becomes ever more emboldened within you. This is where Darkness thrives. Do not be a nurturer of Darkness, of the lacking of love.

Port-holes are available. From these openings of love…which, by the way are located within you, at such a deep level that most are unaware of their existence….you can draw forth more of your Self. You can drink of the love that is You. We are providing you evidence of these port-holes. All you need do is listen. Feel. Breathe. And from there you will enter. Admittance is always free. There is no charge. There is no loss. There are no repercussions. Only finding Self. Finding You.

You ask about the Fear. What is it? How can you defeat it? This is a question often asked and the answer is simple for if you find your Self – Love – then fear is nothing but an afterthought, a candle in the wind. When you are Love, there is no room for fear. That is your answer. Simple, is it not?

You have been so long without Love, without the feeling – the Being of – embodiment of love, that you have forgotten how it feels. With this forgetfulness often arises fear for the human fears what they do not understand. It is such that we are asking that you bypass the human emotions for Hue-man Knowing. There is a difference here – a very obvious difference. For Knowing is feeling without immersion, without becoming feeling. It is the lack of reaction to feeling. It is objectivity and understanding…the reciprocity of Self and Experience.

We will continue to come to you, to offer you our assistance and foster your growth. It is with great anticipation that we await your return.

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We are Travelers

This morning after the intense experience with my Companion, I Remembered and was told some things. Just trying to type this right now is making me shake with energy and my heart is buzzing.

First, I will go back to the message about Travelers and wolves. I knew my group is small and that we travel together always. We are all intricately connected. We sense each other. We communicate with each other. We are a “pack” and are connected as such. We do not normally physically connect while in our physical bodies while we are “traveling” but for some reason we are doing so this time around.

We are Travelers, at least that is how I remember our group. It is like we are called/sent to a specific place to do our work and then, when we are done, we leave. Together.

I don’t know if Travler is the same as Wanderer. Maybe. I have to feel that one out for a bit.

I was told that I was being “fostered” at this time. I don’t really understand it, but I guess it makes sense. We, our group, is suppose to Remember. It is part of our purpose so as to facilitate the changes occurring on Earth. I recalled briefly that we are here to help bring Earth out of the darkness, a darkness that has been in effect for a very, very long time. I chose to experience this darkness via incarnations prior to this incarnation so that I would better understand the experience of it. It is like a total cut-off feeling. Cut-off from the Wholeness. Hard to explain really, but I felt it, recognized it when I felt my Companion this morning.

Our group is small, probably only five or six members. I was not allowed to see how many exactly, but that is okay with me. The overwhelming heart sensations I am having and have been having since this contact is enough for me to know it is truth. The shaking is driving me crazy.

I was also told that my Companion is initiating the “exchange”, or has been. I really don’t know what to think of it but the experience I just had was very real and very overwhelming in so many ways that cannot be expressed.

I had asked for all this to be made “more real” because it has been so easy for me to dismiss as my imagination or a dream. I was reminded of this request this morning. Haha. Very funny.

All I can say is that now I know why I have not met any members of my group face-to-face yet. If meeting them causes the feeling I felt this morning then I know I would run all the way to Timbuktu to avoid them. It is an instant repulsion-attraction, crazy mixed up feeling! Yeah, I know, you wonder how you can have both feelings at once. Well you can. Trust me.

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Heart Sensations Return

I’ve begun this post several times and each time deleted it in its entirety. I’m not sure exactly why, though.

There has been a strange energy today following me around. It is not bad or good, just shifty, like the energy is about to take a leap forward. I checked the K-index and there is an active storm but nothing that would normally cause me to notice.

Perhaps it has to do with what happened last night. Last night is what I originally was trying to post about and kept deleting. I will summarize and just say that I had some intense heart chakra sensations. These didn’t hurt. In fact, they were the good kind and went all the way from front to back. It was like someone placed a tube right through my heart center and energy poured through it.

The heart sensations came with specific thoughts and knowingness. It happened at a time when I was speaking with someone, a kind of counselor. I was telling her about things I could not sort out in my life – very personal things. This is when the heart sensations kicked in. I was lucky I did not burst into tears. I was able to get out of the conversation in time. Then I was just in shock for a while. I had not expected my heart to burst open like that. I had done such a good job of shutting it down – or so I’d thought.

Then, after I returned home and the kids were in bed my heart started doing it again and I was overcome with an intense shaking all over my body. I am familiar with the feeling. It is something I had to deal with every time I did a mediumship reading and made contact with Spirit. It is like their energy is too much for me. It can get so bad that my teeth chatter – thankfully it did not get that bad last night. The shaking can also happen when I am talking with another person about deeply personal things. I have never quite figured out why it happens, though.

I wondered why I was having the shaking. I was not tuning into Spirit and not talking to anyone, so it made no sense. I felt my Team near and I wondered if maybe it was coming from them. As if to answer my question, I heard my guide ask me to focus on how I felt. When I did this, I could sense a blockage at my heart level. I was told that I was resisting the energy – the heart energy – and that I have been avoiding something.

And then the shaking was really bad.

And then it was just…gone as was the heart energy.

When I awoke this morning my dreams were instantly gone as soon as I tried to recover them. Frustrated, I tried to feel what happened in the night and knew I had agreed yet again to something, but I don’t know what. My heart chakra lit up again but faded not long after. With it, I was asked if I was willing to accept what it was telling me. I said I was, but honestly I am not sure about any of it. I don’t know what it is telling me, or at least I don’t think I do. Honestly, I am afraid of knowing.

Right before I got out of bed my Team again reminded me of the upgrade that is soon to come. I was told this time that it may frighten me. Then I saw a visual of light pouring down into my crown chakra and going all the way down through all my chakras and into my feet. From the looks of it, it didn’t seem so bad, but then if they say it might scare me, well, it probably will.

It has me wondering now if the strange feeling I’ve had all day has anything to do with this coming upgrade. I guess I’ll find out.

Meet-Up

There is one other thing. A group I am a part of on FB is planning a meeting in Mt. Shasta, California in May. I have been following the preparations from the beginning. Yesterday I decided, out of the blue, that I should go. I told my husband about it and, strangely, he had no objections. When I communicated today with the contact about arranging my flight my heart chakra was blazing with energy. Even typing about it now makes my heart light up. I got thoroughly excited about going and my energy went sky high.

Then, in the afternoon, I began to doubt my decision about attending because I only know the people who will be there via the internet. I also began to panic over something very odd. I had this strange feeling that if I went I would not want to come home. Then an internal panic button went off and I got a strange split in two feeling. It was really odd and I almost thought I was about to go OOB right then and there.

After this happened the heart energy ceased – well up until now anyway. I am wondering if this is any indicator of what it is that I am not willing to know/accept. Part of me thinks it is and when I try to consider it, the fear returns. All I want to do is cuss a million cuss words just considering that possibility.

 

 

by

Finding the Cure

I meant to post this yesterday but after the video wild goose chase I waited until this morning. Plus, I had an interesting evening. I’ll share that later.

Anyway, I did a video post on a portion of what happened yesterday, but that is only a small portion of the story.

A memory of a poem I wrote, probably in 1993-94, came to mind quite suddenly yesterday morning. It was fitting, considering I awoke feeling that I couldn’t do much more waiting around. Here is the poem:

I cannot stand this idleness
My mind lies dormant; unfocused, dead
My fears rise higher, capsize and break
like waves of water, receding hate.

In the video I posted, I only mentioned the one poem, but I found several others. I don’t write poetry anymore, but I use to all the time. I also use to draw all the time, too, and I must admit I am not too bad an artist. I’m not sure why I stopped. I had poetry and artwork in the last few pages of my memory book. Seeing/reading them really transported me back in time yet I felt that that girl no longer existed. It is almost like my life back then was a past life not connected at all to the current one I am living.

Here are some other poems:

Untitled

From within my soul
blackness thickens,
stealing and spoiling
my good intentions
leaving no feeling
no sorrow, no joy
taking and making
me, its new toy. 

This one had a drawing with it:

Dealing with Dragons

Hot breath of the dead
rides with the wind
to find a fair maiden
whose self cannot fend.

Foulest of creatures
meets bringer of life
no battle or struggle
just internal strife.

Eyes of red fire
look into blue skies
good repels evil
truth reveals lies.

Some other cool info from that year:

A gallon of gas $1.27
A haircut was $6
Concert tickets $20
CDs $14.95
Canned soda $.50
Candy bar $.50
Levi’s jeans $25

Other favorites I listed:

Car: Ford Mustang (lol)
Music: Pearl Jam, Metallica, Guns and Roses, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Alice n’ Chains. Aerosmith, Smashing Pumpkins
TV: Married with Children
Movies: Wayne’s Word, The Adam’s Family Values, Geronimo
Clothing: All black, grunge (hahaha)
Guys: They had to have long hair (what??)
Miscellaneous: peacocks, animals of all kinds, books, dreaming, roses (?), cooking, cookies (lol), eating (LOL), fishing, swimming, hanging out with friends, bowling, going to the movies
Authors I liked: David Eddings, Anne McCaffrey, Tolkien, Piers Anthony. I was really into Fantasy novels and read all.the.time.

I was really active in school, or at least as much as I could be considering my school was so small. I was in One Act Play (yeah no joke) and played tennis. I was also in the Color Guard (captain) and band (saxophone) and a total straight A student. I dropped all of it after graduation, even the straight A student part. I sometimes still play tennis but I am no good at it. lol

Really, though, the song was what I was meant to find when I went to my memory book. What is really synchronistic about the song is that prior to listening to it I had read several posts on the topic of happiness. Then the main words that are heard over and over are “Let’s get happy”. Hmmm Yeah, let’s. The song was a “cure” to my moodiness yesterday.