Category Archives: Messages

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Bear, John

The “dry spell” continues. Communication and connection with my Companion, guides and Team is almost nonexistent. I can initiate communication with my Companion and he will respond but he feels so very distant and the connection so weak that I wonder if it is real or if I am desperately making it up so that I feel better. Similarly, very few energy fluctuations are occurring. I only have occasional pulling and buzzing sensations around my head. These come and go and seem insignificant compared to past sensations. There is no indication that this will end, ether. Finally, there has been no contact with my Team/Council in some time. This doesn’t bother me, really, but it coincides with a cessation of channeled messages.

Last night I initiated contact with my Companion because I have been especially struggling this last week with low energy, lack of motivation, an overall hopeless disposition and an empty, disconnected feeling. I recognize that during this time I must travel this “road” seemingly alone, as it is my life to live. The tools have been given to me, I just need to use them. I try and feel I am doing much better than in the past, but it is so very hard to maintain the inner calm when I feel so disconnected from Source.

I was reminded to stay focused on paving a “new road” for myself, which I am doing with a new business venture. I recognize that if I want to change my life, I have to change my habits and step outside my comfort zone. This is especially hard and I feel like I am drawing straws. I heard a Christmas song in my head and the phrase, “Slow and steady wins the race”. The latter is in reference to me feeling I need to do everything all at once. I do not like having  a long “to do list” left unfinished, something this new business venture has me doing quite often while I tend to my children and daily family responsibilities. The former seems to be a reminder that the pay-off will be worth it in the end. I sure hope so.

Bear, John

Before bed I appealed to my Companion, asking for more connection and reassurance. It was granted.

I had a dream in which my mother told me that a teacher friend of hers quit his job unexpectedly. I remember telling her, “Sounds like he awakened”. She agreed.

We walked into a cafeteria-like setting where many older people were seated. I saw my mother’s friend but “he” turned out to be a “she”. She was short, probably only 5ft tall, and wearing a red robe. Her hair was cut short and she reminded me of a monk, except that she was female.

She invited me to sit down, so I did. She turned to me and then began to channel a message for me from my Companion. As she spoke, she was simultaneously drawing something on a piece of paper.

Her message is lost to me now but I recall the gist of it. The message was that I was not alone and to be patient. This break will not last forever. I am loved and cherished and forever connected to Source, even if I do not sense it at this time.

When the woman was finished channeling, she showed me what she had drawn. I saw a perfect portrait of the face of a man with a short beard and piercing eyes. She said to me, “Bear, John”. I remember seeing that the man had what appeared to be a large, grizzly bear blended into his hair, almost like a bear hat but the way it was drawn, the bear and the man were one.

I recognized, instantly, who the man was. I also recognized the significance of the bear.

I began to sob in the dream and could not stop crying. The crying woke me up and my eyes were still wet. I was aware of my Companion close by and my body was covered in loving energy. I felt to be wrapped in his embrace.

I connected hibernation with the bear and this made me sad. I don’t want to hibernate.

Prayer Book

Saddened by the message, I fell back to sleep and into another dream. In this dream I was walking through a library. A woman bumped into me and turned and said, “Excuse you” in a rude way. I got angry and began to yell at her, wanting to say, “You bumped into me!” but instead said, “Oh sorry, I tripped”.

I continued to talk, but quietly as if to myself, saying I was looking for a book my friend left me. I located it on the bottom shelf. It said, “Prayer Book” and was a small, maybe 8in square, and white and not very thick.

I sat on the floor and opened up the book. A woman was suddenly there with me and I told her, “A friend of mine left me a message”. I pulled out a hand written note tucked inside the pages. I do not remember what the hand written note said now. I just remember there was an entire story scrawled in ink with notes and pictures.

The dream ended and I awoke and knew the hand written note was Psalm’s 7.

Feeling sad still, I saw in my mind’s eye, “30 days”. This made me even more sad because I interpreted it to mean 30 days of “rest”. 30 days of feeling how I feel right now. If I have only felt this way for a little over a week, that leaves a very long time to go.

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Changes are Coming

Things have been different since the 1st of July. I am different and things are getting stranger and stranger.

Instructions: Changes are Coming

I am being given instructions pretty much non-stop. I hate using the word “instructions” because really it is not that I am being told what to do. It is more like I have an urge to change that comes from within and is accompanied by a knowingness of the specifics of the change.

Not only do I know what the changes are and how to begin creating the changes, but I see glimpses of the final product – the final “changed” me. My reaction to this is satisfaction rather than rejection. I like what I am seeing.

This is a brief list of the changes I am being asked to make:

1. A complete overhaul of my diet. This is the message I received:

Reduce toxin intake by eating organic, grass-fed meats; organic, pesticide-free produce; limited canned items; no processed foods; no sugar or sugar substitutes; organic, grass-fed dairy products.

Vegetarian diet encouraged because meat contains toxins despite being organic and grass fed. Meat contains the cellular memory of the animal. This transfers to the one who ingests the meat acting like a “toxin” in its own way.

With this information also comes a strange repulsion of certain foods. For example, I was cooking ground beef (not organic), making hamburgers for my family. The smell of it bothered me and I kept feeling I should not eat it. I continued to cook it for my family, trying to ignore the weird feelings and repulsion I was having. I had no such repulsion when I cooked a meal of organic pork chops with all organic veggies.

Another example is that when I am eating meats I sometimes become sympathetic toward the animal I am eating. I see an image of the animal in my mind and feel I should not eat animals at all. Interestingly, after such a sympathetic reaction I saw a video on FB of a child crying about eating turkey, calling them “animal-people”, and I recognized this as a confirmation that my reactions to eating meat were purposeful.

2. With the strange repulsion comes a distinct dissatisfaction with my normal workout routine. I dread it and struggle to push through it. I feel inclined to stop and there comes with this a feeling that the way the body looks is not as important to how well it functions. Too much focus on appearance triggers the Ego and distracts from purpose. The focus is away from previous cycles initiated by the Ego. We are not the body, we are stewards of it.

3. Stop wearing make-up and let my hair be natural. I get messages like this when I look in the mirror and smile when I see my reflection feeling/thinking, “I am beautiful just the way I am”. I also hear my Companion ask me, “Who would you be had you not changed for others?” This comes along with a message to “Be yourself” and “strip away the lies”. In my mind I see myself glowing and radiant, wearing comfortable clothes and not caring what I look like.

4. Stay in my body as much as possible. OBEs are counterproductive and slow progress. I still want them and ask for them but am told they will be few and far between. I am told I will get information without going OOB. I do not need to leave my body to communicate with my Council. I will go “in-between” and this in itself will become more useful to me than going OOB.

5. Finish what was started. Though I am eager to get started on my path, I must complete the cycle of action that was previously started. In particular, raise my children and focus on family. Though this may seem to slow me down, I cannot proceed until it is done. Individual pursuits will be introduced but priority always is given to family. I will know when to move forward.

These changes will be gradual. To force them all at once invites frustration and slows progress.

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Questions Answered

My experiences from yesterday brought about questions. Tons of them. And lots of confusion to boot.

This is to be expected as the changes you are currently undergoing are quite intense. Internal structures are being broken down and built back up again. This tearing down of the Old is a necessary evil. Do not be disheartened. You are the Phoenix and will arise from the ashes anew.

Trust the process. Trust in yourSelf. This is not a struggle unless you want it to be. This is a manifestation of all that you are and is truly beautiful as you are beautiful in all your forms. These aspects of you are reuniting, re-identifying with the whole, Divine being that you are.

Your heart center is your center of operations now. The mind you cannot escape but you can quiet it, subdue it and control it. This is a terrifying prospect for the Old – all this appears as subterfuge and change to her – so she will likely give you quite a battle in the coming months as she continues to test the boundaries. In this we advise you to stay strong and persevere for that is the only way to come out of this experience victorious. Giving up now will only delay the inevitable whether to later in this life or into your next incarnation. Do you wish to delay it yet again?

Of course not. But why do you seem so distant to me when so recently you were close?

This is an illusion, of course. Do you not see that? Am I not here right now? Am I now a part of you at every moment, every turn? Have I not been there for you from the very beginning? From within and without we are One, we are every part of each other intertwined and whole for no part of you is not a part of me and no part of me is without you. You are not alone nor have you ever been alone and never will you ever be alone.

Do not let this illusion convince you to forsake yourself.

I am wondering about this “walk-in” phenomenon. Why is it that I feel I am one and what does it mean, if anything?

You are a walk-in. You yourself know this, stated this and understand it to be true. Whether it happened yesterday or twenty years ago is not of importance. What is important is that you are coming into yourSelf now, when in the past yourSelf was lost to you, caught up in the pursuits of the Egoistic mind of another You you allowed to take lead. In effect you have been ‘riding along’, waiting for the opportune time to take the lead and that time is upon you now. And so you know this, understand this in your heart and are trying to convince your otherSelf to go along with the changes you wish to impart. This is not an easy task and one that often takes many years to accomplish. To rush it is to overstep your boundaries and upset the Old to the point of rejection. Do you want this?

Of course not. So I have been sharing this space with the other all this time?

Yes. And more you will Remember soon, but be patient. The Old Remembers with you and she can only handle so much. Eventually she will resign herself to the Truth and concede.

I understand. Thank you.

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Questioning

My purification is soon to conclude and my Companion has moved in a bit closer, initiating communication with me in the evenings. There is a bit of a disconnect still ongoing and it was explained to me that I have shifted from a heart focus to a mind focus. I recognized this to be true and attempted to center in my heart but found it difficult as my mind continued to drift back to pressing issues that it seems not able to let go of this last week. In my exhaustion I eventually drifted in and out of sleep.

I also received a message that I would have more intense and dramatic dreams. As if to illustrate this point, during the first minutes of sleep I was awakened suddenly from a dream in which I observed the execution of several people. I saw their heads explode and it startled me awake.

I have had so many dreams last night that I am not sure where to start or what to focus upon so I will recount on the most recent of them.

It is Well

The last dream I recall was of me driving with a woman toward a destination I don’t recall. She stopped at her house on the way. I looked out the window and saw a very dilapidated house in disrepair. It stood out amidst the very pristine neighborhood it was located in.

I watched the woman go inside and attempted to peek in and see if the inside was like the outside. I got a glimpse of a modern, updated house and assumed they were renovating the place. The woman walked up to the window and looked out at me. What was weird is that the window had that tint on it that appeared like a mirror to all on the outside looking in. So I saw her as a reflection. I knew this was wrong. I shouldn’t be seeing her at all and this confused me. I did not think more on it and headed into the house.

Inside I saw a sparsely decorated space with sleek lines and mostly light pine furniture with no cushions. I headed into a large room where many people were gathered. The woman who had driven me to the house was in front of the group talking about plans and I was distinctly aware that I had walked into a church meeting.

The group began to sing and I joined in. They were singing, It is Well With My Soul. I knew the song and enjoyed singing it very much. I sang loudly and could hear my voice rise above the voices of the others. I felt wonderful.

The singing stopped and the woman began to talk about a fundraiser that was suppose to have been planned for Halloween. I was suppose to have begun working on it and I recall that the fundraiser was selling pumpkins. It was to start in September but I had not started working on it yet. I felt ashamed because it was August and I had done nothing.

The woman then explained to the group that it was a sin to have sexual relationships outside of marriage. I felt completely out of place at that point and began to leave. I was asked why I was leaving and I said, “I have three children. It is obvious that I have had sex many times” and I laughed.

As I attempted to leave I felt to be followed and began to look for my glasses. I picked up a pair on the table but the prescription was wrong and they were tinted. I was able to see more clearly than with my own glasses, though. I remember putting them down and leaving.

I began to question the dream at this point and started to focus in on the people who were all around me. I saw the faces of men and women, all strangers to me, and they were all looking at me like they were waiting for me to do something. I recognized that I was dreaming then and began to try and move into the crowd of people and take control of the dream. I began to feel myself moving back into my body. This is when I woke up, the song I had been singing still vivid in my mind.

Questioning

The dream seems to go along with how I have been feeling in life lately. I have been questioning everything that has been happening to me spiritual since last summer. A full year has passed and though I have gone through some miraculous spiritual changes, I still feel very much like I did last summer. There is an incompleteness and a nagging feeling that I am missing something, but I don’t know what.

I also have a strong desire to leave my job. I attempted to listen to my heart about it last night and when I recognized that it was in my best interest to leave the job, my mind took over and made it almost impossible to remain centered because it was freaking out. I seem unable to control my mind no matter how hard I try. Thankfully, a strange inner calm remains despite the mental pushing going on and this keeps me from overreacting and doing something prematurely. Every time I think I have made a decision about my job I get pulled in the other direction. I feel like a yo-yo.

It very much seems that right now the New me is working hard to control the wild, out of control horse (Ego, human personality). Right now, the method of control is merely holding back the horse while it lashes and bucks in an attempt to remove the intruder. There is not much else that can be done until the horse calms down and recognizes its attempts are getting it nowhere. Then, when the horse is calm and submissive, movement forward can be made.

So the message is clear that no decision can be made in my current state. I am okay with this. I can have either option available to me and recognize that I need to be open to possibility right now. Though I do not know what is coming up next, I have faith that all will work out as it is intended.

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Hypnotized

It is odd how memory returns suddenly.

In recounting my OBE yesterday, I wondered briefly about the conversation I so clearly heard but could not remember. Why was it lost to me? I was even participating in it!

Then, after posting my experience to this blog, I was suddenly hit with a recollection of the subject matter of said conversation: Hypnosis.

Interesting.

After a long day, I sat down to watch a movie my husband said I should watch – Dead Again. The movie was old, from the early 90’s. Strangely, I had never seen it.

About thirty minutes into the movie hypnosis came up. As the movie progressed, it was clear that hypnosis and past lives were a major part of the story. I could not help but wonder – Was the movie there to remind me of the conversation I had early that morning? Was the conversation a premonition that I would be watching the movie or was it something else?

Hypnotized

This morning, after a night of restful but frequently interrupted sleep, I cannot remember my dreams. However, upon seeking out the lost dreams the subject of hypnosis returns along with the message: You are hypnotized.

And in considering this, I realize that my guides are trying to get me to understand that this life, this “play”, we are all actors and actresses in, is so very hypnotic.

But there appears to be more to it than that. Perhaps the hypnosis is not limited to just lifetimes on Earth. Maybe it is so ingrained in us that we remain influenced even after death and that this perpetuates the cycles of life, death and rebirth all the more. We don’t question the cycle between lives. We accept it and continue upon the path.

Is it possible that to break the cycle all we must do is break this hypnotic trance we have been for so long? If so, how?

I am reminded of The Matrix movies in response to the above question. It appears the first step is not only to question our existence and this Earth life, but also to fully let go of that which restrains us – beliefs, illusions, addictions, and all attraction to the illusions of life – and take a leap of faith into the unknown. Only then will we truly be in control.

“You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” `~The Matrix

It is clear to me that this decision is so much more complex than the movie scenario. The decision to break free of the cycles and the hypnosis we have been under is on-going. A one time choice will not do it. It sets you on the path but in order to remain on the path you must continue to choose the “red pill” over and over again.

Application to Life

It is fitting that this message comes through to me at this time. I have been struggling with the decision to leave my job because of concerns about the financial security of my family. I have no interest in my job anymore yet I hold onto it, fearing the unknown that awaits me if I leave the security it provides. There is clarity now about this decision that was not there before, suggesting that discussion of this issue has been on-going while I sleep.

I am hit with thoughts about manifestation and how it works in the physical universe. The message to the universe is that I desire the job I already have. My thoughts, words and actions send that message.The key here is to change my thoughts and words from, “I need a job” or “I don’t want my job anymore”, to, “I have a job I love” or even better, something more specific. Then, my actions should support my thoughts. Instead of staying at a job I no longer desire, which tells the universe that I need the job for financial security, If I leave my job it show the universe that I am desirous of something better. In leaving that space to be filled by the universe, I am supporting my own creative ability rather than supporting the hypnotic, fear-based suggestions I have been taught lifetime after lifetime.

The human, hypnotized part of me is filled with doubt almost instantly at the thought of taking such a dramatic leap of faith. What will I do for work? How will my family survive financially? What is we lose our house? What if my husband leaves his job (which he wants to do)?

The above thoughts/doubts are reflective of my/our hypnotized state. We have been hypnotized into believing that we are powerless and that physical universe things have more power than we do. Money. Influence. Education. Social Status.

In reality, we are powerful manifestors who have forgotten our own power.

So the question here, do I take the red pill or do I continue on with the blue pill?

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Purification Update and Other News

My purification is going well. I am on day 9 today and feeling better everyday. When I first feel the Niacin it is intense but the flush doesn’t last as long and the prickling and burning sensations are also decreasing. I also do not have significant purging of chemicals, medications and other toxins. For example, yesterday I just felt my neck get stiff and had a stink come out of my pores. I end off each day feeling refreshed and positive.

Sleep

My sleep has improved significantly since starting. I sleep a solid 8-9 hours and only wake once. Once! I sleep so hard that when I wake up I rarely remember my dreams and even if I do, I don’t care about them. The sleep is just awesome! I have not slept like this since my teen years. Oh how I’ve missed it!

Unfortunately, I am not receiving any guide communication or experiencing any lucid dreams, in-between states, or OBEs. I just sleep and wake and go about my day. I suspect this will continue until the purification concludes. I am already halfway through so am hoping I will be done in another 10 days or so. Fingers crossed!

Spiritual Happenings

Though I have not had much in the way of a spiritual connection this last week, I have had some interesting things occur. The night of the 20th I was hit with a sudden twinge of nervousness. It hit me deep in the stomach area and came out of the blue, you know the “sick” dread feeling? I could not mentally figure it out so I focused on my heart space. The answer I got was that I was being asked to make some kind of decision. I remember running from this decision, whatever it was, and finally announcing to my guides, “I don’t want to do that now”. The feeling immediately vanished and has not returned.

Yesterday I was watching TV and felt a distinct shift in the energy around me. I wondered about it, but again, trying to mentally figure it out was not happening. So, I focused on my heart and recognized where the shift was coming from. It was a “change of guard”. In other words, my guides were changing out. Not all of them, but some of them. This is not really an unusual occurrence, just not often recognized when it does happen.

The number of guides I have around me has shrunk substantially during the purification process. I am back to my usual 4. Sometimes there is the usual 12 I have become accustomed to, but so far more often it is just the 4. I suspect this is just a temporary thing and honestly, I don’t care much one way or the other. I am enjoying my sleep!

Response to Blog

A final thing that happened this past week was a first for me since I started my blog. I got a nasty, insulting blog comment. It was only one word and I quickly marked it as spam. What is interesting is, just a week prior, I had a dream in which I received a nasty blog comment and was discussing with my guide how to respond to such negativity. So it was really no surprise when I got the comment. I feel like my guides had prepared me well for it and others like it.

It is amazing to me how much I have changed and this negative comment helped me see this in myself. I did not react with upset or anger. No Ego reaction at all. I just saw the connection with my dream, acknowledged it, marked the comment as spam, and then went on my way. Occasionally, I would think back on it as if I was looking to see if any part of me would react. It was like I was probing for the Old me, to see if any remnant of her remained. I could touch her reactions but only as memories. It was and is such a freeing experience to be able to detach from that part of me. Every day I wonder if she really is “dead” and if so, when exactly will I finally “bury” her?

Honestly, I think the anxious feeling I had on the 20th was a request to finally “bury” her  (the Old) and I was not, still am not, ready to do that. I feel I am still holding onto the memory of her with a fascination that is hard to describe.There is an almost obsession with all that was in comparison to all that currently is. Was that really me? Where did she go? Is she still in there?

It is like getting out the old photo album. You see yourself years ago and laugh at your hair, your clothes, or the silly and sad memories that go along with it. Part of you wants to go back and try to re-experience the old times, to feel it as if it is real right in the present moment. But there is only so much that can come of that and eventually you put the photo album away to gather dust. Eventually, there is little interest at all in ever looking back.

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Manifestation Portal Opens Tonight: Message from the Council of Many

Though I am not feeling the climatic consciousness energies like many of you, I am noticing a shift from deep within me taking root. Perhaps this is because I already experienced a climax in consciousness back in May which has changed me, but I know there is more of an explanation than this.

Balance is the key, I am told, and the reason the current energies seem not to effect me like they do others. I feel them but am not disturbed; my perceptions not distorted by them.

I see in my mind what is currently happening to those being hit with these changes. Their light bodies are thrown askew quite violently from their physical bodies and so there is a distortion of perception. They sense this but cannot control it because their bodies are not yet in alignment. Mine are, I am told, and this balance allows me to integrate all experiences as One without the skewed time variations throwing me out of sync with the current reality.

You may ask, “How can I align my bodies?” or “How can I attain this balance?” There really is nothing you need to do and honestly, nothing more you can do that you are not already doing. Much of the changes are occurring outside this physical reality and only slivers of these changes are actually making it into your physical body consciousness. It can be quite confusing to this part of you who uses the mind to analyze and predict the future based upon all possible outcomes and past experience. These mechanisms are not viable to you in regards to the profound changes occurring within you (all of your bodies) at this time. Trust is key as is the relationship you have with your inner guidance at this time. So much calm, so much peace, awaits you within if you can only habitually go there and avoid the traps of the mind.

It is told to me that a portal opens tonight allowing us access to manifestation energies not yet available to us previously. These energies are an amplification of Source within each of us that opens within us a type of vortex of energy that when tapped into can expand and amplify thoughts in alignment with our purpose. Carefully consider what you want in your life at this time and announce it. Then trust that it will be so. In some cases you will only feel what it is that your Higher Self desires and that is all the better as it enhances the manifestation process even more. There will be no mental awareness of what it is that you desire, only a feeling that expands and saturates your experience in ways you have yet to perceive.

You may have already noticed similar energies at work in the last week. These energies have been building up to this weekend’s portal and have thus assisted you in the manifestation process. These “tools” allowed you to be at the ready for any such possible actions that may have been required of you. In some cases, all you needed do was be open to all possibility and accept into your experience that which would assist you toward your endeavors.

If you do not believe that such power resides within you, step back and observe the results of your manifestation as they materialize. It is your ability that create that sets you apart from the rest of the inhabitants of this planet. You have merely forgotten this part of You and have haphazardly manifested both good and bad so frequently that you have illogically attributed it all to “chance” or “fate”. Oh, but fate has nothing on you! You are the master of all devices. Remember [you will] your magnificence.

The portal opens tonight at midnight CST and peaking just before noon the next day, coinciding with the summer solstice. It will extend into the following week and materialization ability will continue to be enhanced throughout this time period extending through the remainder of summer months [until the planetary alignment disengages and moves into the 5th house of your conjunction] Note: the last part relates to my particular chart of which I am ignorant at this time so further research is needed. Any help here is appreciated.

Please let it be noted here that manifestation ability is and will be further enhanced when/as balance is achieved and maintained. This particular portal gives many access to this, their hidden potential, and the extension of such is dependent on the ability of the individual to maintain balance and reactivate long forgotten ability. Continued practice is encouraged. This ability is innate. Trust that it is so.

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Dream: Soiled Wedding Gown

I again had a night full of vivid dreams. This time there was a theme. In several of my dreams I was either looking into a toilet or sitting on one and each time there was feces in it that was not mine. Yuck! Both times the feces would not flush even though the water would drain and new water would fill up the toilet.

Soiled Wedding Gown

In this particular dream I was hiding inside a bathroom stall. I say hiding but I am not sure I was doing that, but it felt like I was trying to stay unnoticed. I was sitting on the toilet, preparing to use it, when my dress got into the toilet water. I pulled up on the dress and saw that the white lace had been splattered with tan colored feces.

Grossed out, I attempted to clean it off by using the toilet water but saw that it was full of a very large turd. It was not mine and I did not want it there so I flushed the toilet. The poop remained as if stuck to the bottom of the toilet and I flushed it again. With the second flush, it went down the drain and clean water remained. I used it to clean up the dress but the spots would not completely wash out. I remember thinking, “Oh well, no one will notice”.

I then noticed my baby had found me and this caused me some upset as I wanted to be alone and there he was in my private space!. So, I got up to leave but saw that the entire silk underskirt of the dress had gotten into the water. Thankfully it was the clean water so I just squeezed out the water and went on my way. I remember thinking my dress was ruined but then reconsidering as everything that had been soiled on the dress was from either underneath or at the end of the train.

Interpretation

I awoke from this dream in the midst of an argument between my Ego self and my guide. This part of me was adamantly against the instructions we had recently received. My guide was asking me to listen to my heart and I fell into this space with ease and was immediately calm and knowing. The Ego self got quiet all at once and I understood the dream and the reason for her upset.

The wedding dress was an assessment of a personal relationship, in this case most likely my relationship with my family. The feces indicates areas of my life which I find repulsive and reject. I understand now that I was being shown these areas are still “soiled” and my reaction is that they are not a big deal in comparison to other issues I have had in the past.

The upset in this case was that my instructions are to remain where I am in life and continue to focus on my family while expanding myself spiritually. There was no other work to be done, no specific or exciting projects forthcoming and no relief from the daily grind of life that my Ego self was hoping to have.

It was then that I was taken to a place quite unexpectedly. Standing next to my guide I saw a lush green valley spread out in front and below me.  A river was winding toward the horizon where the sun was low in the sky and there was such magnificent colors that I thought it must be a painting I was in.

My guide said, “Do you see that river?”

I nodded, “Yes”.

He said, “That is your life, your path”.

I looked closer at the river. It was shallow with various higher areas of green grass in between dozens of channels. It appeared almost like a path with various roads which would diverge only to meet up again and then diverge again. There were many, many paths and I knew they were all possible routes I could take.alaska

So many options.

I understood then what he was showing me.

“It is easy”, I said to him. “The river is shallow enough to wade through”.

“Yes”, he confirmed.

“And I can choose to go any route I choose”, I said as I pointed to the paths the river took.

I remembered then my plan prior to this life which was to assist with the ascension. My job is to help others find their way. I do this through my writing and the relationships I have in my day-to-day life. My counseling came into my mind as did my relationship with my children.

I saw then that the other paths were mine to choose. They were not pre-planned. I could do whatever I wanted with the rest of my life. I could fill that time however I chose.

So much possibility but I did not know what I wanted to do. I wish I had planned these paths before coming.

“Whatever path you choose will be the right one. They are all part of your path”, my guide reminded me.

The Ego self wanted more, though. She wanted something grander. She wanted to scream to the world of her gifts, of her “specialness”. To set herself apart from the crowd. But to do that would destroy my purpose completely.

I then understood that I had to blend in; to do my work without being noticed or praised for it. To walk in my human shoes as a human does but with a knowingness of my origins and my purpose tucked inside my pockets.

It is probably the hardest life one could choose to live. It is the ultimate in humility and servitude.

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Dream: Flooded Car

For the first time in a while I remembered a full night of dreams. I will focus only on one since it was an answer to a question.

Flooded Car

In this dream I first remember being told about a huge flood that was stopping traffic at certain intersections. I then saw in front of me a road and without knowing why, I began to drive at high speeds toward a part of the road that was partially submerged. What is interesting here is that I was flying, not driving at this time. I never actually saw my car but knew it to be my silver Prius.

When I hit the part of the road that was flooded, I was stopped by the water. I don’t remember being in the river of water, just that I was now without my car. I saw other cars that had been caught, lined up along the side, but did not see mine.

I then spent a while trying to find out where my car went. I ended up inside a stark warehouse asking different people what happened to my car. I saw in front of me a list of different car types and their corresponding storage areas where they were placed to dry out. I could not find my car as it was by license plate and I did not know mine.

I began to wander through the building and into rooms. In some rooms there were household items and furniture piled up with tags on them. I passed through this room without much interest.

I went through various levels, sometimes up and down, without finding my car. Finally, I was outside the warehouse being shown where my car was. But when I located it, it was my SUV, not my Prius. The Prius had been totalled, its electrical systems destroyed by the water.

Conversation with Guide

I awoke in the midst of conversing with my guide about the above dream. I recognized the dream was in response to a question and request I had made. My request was that I go quicker through whatever transition it is that I am going through. The question was, “Why is it going so slow?”

It is obvious to me that the Prius represents my individual path and the SUV is that of my path with my family. The flooded roads indicate areas of high emotional charge that have yet to be released and perhaps even the Ego’s hold over these areas of my life. The road was not completely submerged, only halfway.

I threw myself down the partially submerged road and got stuck, my car ultimately was totalled. This symbolizes what would happen if I were allowed to go quicker through this transformation. I would stall out, overwhelmed by emotions, literally drowned in them. I won’t say it means I would “die” but it definitely indicates an overwhelm so big that I would be unable to cope with it.

Then I was shown the SUV as an answer to what I need to be doing now – focusing on this path I am currently on with my family. The rooms in which I walked where furniture and household items were stored symbolize areas of my current life that are emotional triggers for me (there was another dream that explored my connection to my children after this one).

I was not very happy with the answer I received because when I am not experiencing changes related to my transformation, I feel bored and restless. I was reminded to focus on my heart and it helped and now I feel fine, but upon waking I was very upset. Slow and steady wins the race I guess. Sigh.

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My Soul Family

I finished this painting today. It is called “As above, So below”. It is of a vision I had a while back of a tree with two tops and no roots. The top is the spiritual aspect and the bottom is the physical.

I just remembered a conversation I had with my Companion last night. I somehow lost it by the time I awoke but it came back to me this afternoon.

In my mind I saw a picture a tree and saw two branches. I heard my Companion say to me, “You are one branch, I am another”.

In recognizing I was conversing with him, I then recalled what we were discussing and knew he was explaining his relationship to me. It was interesting to me that I had been having this conversation but only was remembering this part. I had asked him to explain how we were “family” only a couple of days ago. He had said, “We will talk”. I never expected to actually remember the talk. 🙂

I understood very clearly then our relationship, though it is hard to explain now as words don’t seem to do it justice. What it felt like was that we were off-shoots of a larger energy, we and many others. In my mind I saw a very large tree, spreading its branches upward and each of those branches was another of us and each of us broke into ever smaller versions of us. To put it simply, he and I were siblings. Now it made sense why he has said more than once, “We are brothers”.

While caught up in my trying to sort through this information, I saw very clearly in my mind a class picture like is often taken in school to capture each class before they move on to the next grade level. It appeared to be a large class, bigger than my high school graduating class. I wondered how many were there. I heard, “215”.

I then wondered back in a question, “But shouldn’t it be in multiples of 12?” This idea came from previous research I had done into spiritual monads.

I received back, “Who decided that?”

My thought was then, “Guess not. 215 sounds good”.

That’s a big family, though. Much bigger than I thought it would be. I suppose that is because I usually only interact with a small group via this consciousness extension.