Category Archives: Miscellaneous

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Self-Created Experience?

The earth-shattering experience I had on October 7th continues to shake me to the core. I am still processing it, trying hard to fill in the huge gaps in my memory and seeking answers from my Team of assistants.

Self-Created Experience

There came a moment yesterday when it occurred to me that perhaps what I experienced was self-created; influenced by my current reading material – The Convoluted Universe by Dolores Cannon.

This conclusion is a normal one in my specific circumstances. What I experienced on the 7th was so unreal to me, so beyond bizarre and so out of my perception’s reach that it is no surprise that it has now receded into the depths of my subconscious to the point that it appears nothing more than a very wildly vivid dream. It is so easy now to just shrug my shoulders and say, “It was just a dream. It was not real”, and move on.

And yet there is a part of me that says, “Well all experience is ‘self-created'”.

On the One Hand…

There is a part of me that believes this is what is happening to me:

The group of Beings who surrounded me the night of the 7th, whom I recall very vividly but only as silhouettes in the dark, is a group of E.T.s (for lack of a better word) who have come to “get me” and move me into whatever my next level is. This is a heightening of consciousness, a Remembering, an “Unfolding” as my Companion calls it.

I am emerging from the chrysalis.

When questioning this group, who appeared to me as 12 and whom I acknowledge as being my Council, I asked where they came from. The response I received was, “Sirius”. When I asked how far away they were, I heard 10 au’s (light years).

These beings appear to me in human form when I see them. They are not “alien” in appearance, at least not so alien that I notice. They often appear very bright and so it is difficult to discern what they look like in detail. If I am allowed to see them close up, they often show me their eyes or just aspects of their face. Usually their eyes are very bright blue.

Prior to the consideration that my Council were in fact Beings from another planet, I just thought of them as “guides” or “Spirit”. Really, even with this new E.T. consideration, it has not changed the way they appear to me or how I react to them when I see/sense them. If anything, I am calmer upon their contact with me than I have ever been.

In considering all the information that has come to me in recent weeks, I have partially come to the conclusion that the human race is heading toward the “End of Days” where a great cataclysm will rocket Earth into a New Age, one in which humanity lives in harmony with her. During the time of the great changes there will some kind of E.T. contact experienced. I do not know if this will be wide-spread, meaning that I don’t know if all will be aware of the “contact” being made. I have personally received many messages now that I will be “called”, that I will see “signs” and that I will be taken Home. The signs have been shown to me ever since my awakening in 2003. They are consistent and the warnings, visions, I receive are increasing in frequency.

How I and others like me will be taken Home is unclear at this time. I recently had a dream in which individual pods were lined up and humans walked into them. From inside these pods a great golden light emerged and the body was broken up into millions upon millions of tiny particles of light which ultimately dispersed. To me, this represents a dissolution of the physical form or perhaps a raising of vibration. It may also be some kind of transport system.

On the Other Hand….

And then I think how preposterous all of this sounds. Aliens and the “End of Days” – all of it sounds like something a crazy person would say. I think of the bearded man walking around holding a sign that says, “The end is near”.

I think of how my whole life I have rejected being here and thus rejected fully immersing myself in this life. I want to escape. I would rather be in my own fantasy world which is much more exciting. There I get to go OOB, I get to talk to “other worldly beings”, I get to see into the future, I get to talk to the deceased, I get to see people’s auras, I get to “know” things other people don’t, I get to have Kundalini experiences… The list goes on.

And I think maybe all of this is happening to me because of this desire to escape. I am creating all of it. Making it up so that I can avoid “reality”.

I just really need to suck it up and deal with life.

Which is it?

Right now I am in the stage of thinking that I need to “suck it up” and stop hiding in my fantasy world. Life is passing me by and I need to live it.

Yet there is and always has been a part of me totally and utterly bored with life, with reality. And I have been down this path before. I have rejected my “fantasy” world and gone back to “the real world” to live life like I was suppose to. I was miserable despite trying very hard to be “normal”. Yes, I had some great experiences and great times, but there was always something missing. I always felt lacking.

Maybe that is just the way it is meant to be for me in the life.

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It’s Final

It’s official. My last day of work is October 19th.

While I am relieved to be leaving behind me the parts of my job that were less than ideal, I will miss the parts that I loved. Yet I know that my timing is perfect and I am avoiding more scrutiny, upsets and general angst by leaving now.

Yet my husband appears to be less than accepting of my decision now that I have made it. He announced to me this morning, “I will be leaving my job soon, so you will have to carry the weight until I can get my new business up and running”.

I looked at him like he was crazy and said, “Um, I just put in my resignation. Don’t you think you could have made this announcement when we were talking about me resigning?”

“You can just get another job”, he said.

Then he made a comment completely out of left field, “I don’t want a free-loader in my house. You’ve got to pull your weight”.

What? I was unsure if he was serious but then he came and hugged me warmly, suggesting he was joking, but the statement was enough to bother me just a little bit.

He did say later, “I’m sure you will be pulling your weight”.

Sigh. Men!

What Now?

My husband’s joking is likely concerning to me because I am not sure what is next for me. I made the decision knowing it was the right one, but I wonder, “What now?”

I can’t shake this feeling that there is nothing more to come. My future feels empty when I look into it; a void of nothingness. I don’t have a plan of what I will be doing other than getting my business off the ground. I know that this business will bring in income but other than that I am clueless about what comes next for me.

Interestingly enough, I am okay with this “not knowing” and the feelings that accompany it. Again, I’m not sure why.

Business Update

I am in the final stages of launching my business. The product is in the garage waiting to be sent to the warehouse. All that is left for me to do is get good product images taken and set up the site for selling.

Yes, I am doing online sales, which is way out of my comfort zone and something I would not normally even venture. Yet it was one of those opportunities that came out of the blue after I put out to the universe what I wanted for myself and my family. Though my motivation in this endeavor has waxed and waned frequently, there remains one constant: I know it will be successful.

I suspect the delay of my business launch was due in part to timing. I can only guess why the delay was needed. I suspect Mercury retrograde was part of it. Mercury goes direct today, allowing for movement forward when before movement was retarded or even regressed. It just so happens that the photography for my product is scheduled for tomorrow. Movement is already occurring.

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Notice Given

I don’t know if it is because Mercury is retrograde or if things are just shifting in my life (maybe both?) but since last week, my work situation has been tense. The same micromanaging person continued to get on my case, sending email after email. In the meantime, I was attempting to get a meeting with my boss to discuss my options at work, specifically my resignation. I was unable to get a meeting all last week, but on Friday I finally did. Unfortunately, it was with the micromanaging coworker in attendance! Ugh!

The meeting was set for yesterday. I prepared by writing up my letter of resignation. When I got there, the meeting with my coworker was fine – no issues, just information and agreement that I needed more training to do my job. I did not bring up my resignation in front of her, but waited until after (I had preferred it be before).

When I spoke with my boss, I explained the reason I wanted to leave was because of financial changes in our home, mainly that my husband got a substantial raise (which he did). I left out the specifics of the job I do not like. I was/am sympathetic to my boss and do not want to burn bridges, so I told him that two weeks was when I preferred to leave. He needed longer, I could tell, but told me he would call HR and see what he could do. When I tried to give him my letter of resignation, he would not take it because he wants me to agree to continue on as a contract employee until they can find a suitable replacement. I agreed to take this into consideration because I feel bad for leaving them without proper notice (they want a month notice).

Later, my husband called to find out how the meeting went. When I told him what had happened, he began to question whether I should leave the job. This bothered me because he had always said, “Do what you want” or “If that is what you want, then do it”. He never seemed concerned. Now, though, he acts like I will be bored and that I will be unhappy and grumpy. I suspect his personal view of the matter is tinged with the fact that if I stay home, then his mother, who watches our kids, will be out of her part-time income. I also suspect he likes the extra income from my job – which I do as well but not at my expense!

What is bothering me is that I do not want to continue on with my job as a contract employee because that means doing the part of my job which is my least favorite. I would be paid more for the little time, but the paperwork would be gruesome and I hate paperwork. On top of that, I really, really wish I had made my boss take my letter of resignation! Now it is not on file.

Yet there has been and continues to be a strange, calm feeling that accompanies this situation. When I first decided to leave my job it came on with such a wave of love that I felt reassured it was the right thing to do. And every time I thought about the situation, second-guessing and worrying, the calm would reappear. It just sweeps over me and I have thoughts that surmount to: All is well. Trust in your decision. There is also a knowing that to think of all the possibilities leads to those possibilities becoming more likely as the outcome. I must keep focusing on what it is that I want and not let doubt in.

So, each time I worry, I direct my thoughts to something else, or try to. And if my thoughts wander, I get a sudden nudge or even sometimes a thought, directing me to shift my focus on the positive. There was also a knowing that I would know what to do when in the situation.

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Testing, Testing 1-2-3

I believe I have been presented with the test I was warned about yesterday morning.

While at work yesterday I received emails from a person who was brought in to take over the work of someone who had not done their job correctly. Rumor is that she is kind of a workhorse and uber control freak. Anyway, the email was questioning my current and past activity in a realm of education that I am not trained or knowledgeable in. Her emails were not rude but were very forceful and I felt personally singled out and made wrong.

It had been a good day despite not getting enough sleep the night before and so the emails were a bit left field and unexpected. Come to find out I am now expected to do additional paperwork and who knows what other expectations I will hear about today. I also suspect a meeting at some point based upon this woman’s past and her present position(s) in the company.

If you have been following my blog then you know I recently considered leaving this part-time job for various reasons, the main reason being the special education component that seems ever-growing as the days and weeks pass. This particular email and resulting “expectations” are part of this ever-growing problem.

In my 10+ (lost count now really) years in education I have always hated the special education system, the paperwork, never-ending meetings, loop holes, favoritism, politics, etc that go with it. I believe it is a system that actually does a disservice to those in it rather than helping them, which is its primary intention. Additionally, the system, which was once avoided like the plague by parents who feared the label following their kids through life, has now become a sought-after program by parents wanting their children to get “special” attention even when their kid could manage without it.

Without going into more examples and ranting (which does no one any good really), I will say that I have determined the “system” – both the special education system and the education system as a whole – is a lost cause overrun by bureaucracy and politics. The system has lost its way. Education is not fun, it is tedious and wrought with booby traps. I feel for our future students as this system is doomed to failure.

testSo What is the Test?

I believe that this situation has been presented to me once again so that I can inspect it in more detail. On one hand I have a the strong, life-long goal of helping others, specifically those who cannot help themselves (the children in this case). On the other hand I have a similarly strong dislike for a bureaucratic system which puts money, politics and paperwork in front of the needs of those it is serving.

Often in this life I have come up against similar decisions. I mush weigh the potential positive outcomes with the potential negatives. Ultimately I must ask myself, “Is it worth it?”

One might think this decision easy, but for me it is not. My desire to help is quite strong. I enjoy working with students in the capacity that I am. I just do not enjoy the never-ending hoops I must jump through in order to do this. These barriers are why I did not continue to pursue my LPC. Too many laws, tests, and other accountability measures that I was/am not willing to deal with. I can understand having some accountability – fine – but when it becomes a hindrance to my work then I am in no way supportive of it.

I am blessed to be at a point in my life to have the financial security to leave my job. It is quite a relief to know that I do not need the money and can move on without issue. However, I still balk at the idea of leaving. Why is that? What is so difficult about making this choice? Is it the consideration that I will have “failed”? Is it the loyalty to the students who I help? Or is there something still left to be done?

In the past I have held on for longer than needed, hoping for some sign or some situation that forces a decision. Is this the “wrong” way? I wonder. I spent 7 years of my career waiting and ended up in such an awful place that I suffered from insomnia, depression and a near mental breakdown. I do not want to go through that again. I do not want to wait until my job is unbearable to leave it. But when to leave? Now when the signs suggest more problems will come? Or later, when the problems are upon me?

I don’t want to be a coward and I don’t want to mess up. I think, ultimately, that is why I stay even when I feel I should leave.

Flashing Lights

Speaking of “signs”, this morning as I was dosing, I was brought to full awareness by very bright red and blue flashing lights – the lights of a police car. When I saw them I acknowledged the message. But what does it mean? Is it just a reflection of my consideration of this decision? Or is it that help is on the way?

When I see the lights I think I am in trouble. That is my first assumption in general. I mean, how do you feel when you are driving and all of a sudden you see those lights behind you? I am filled with a deep sense of dread and anxiety. I immediately wonder what I did wrong and assume I am in trouble. Even knowing this is not always the case – police are here to hep (my ex was in law enforcement!) – I worry. This is not always the case, but most of the time it is and I get a ticket.

So what to do? Stay or go? Sigh.

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Solar Plexus Pain

At around 8pm CST last night I began to feel nauseous for no reason. It only happened when I ate a snack and then went away. I didn’t think anything of it. I figured I must have gotten over hungry.

When I attempted to go to sleep I felt a huge knot in my solar plexus. It literally felt like a cramp and I thought I must have gotten the stomach flu. Yet I was not nauseous. I also felt a huge amount of energy around the top of my head and third-eye. When I attempted to communicate with my Team, though, I had no success.

Then the stomach knot got worse and I started to feel ill. It would come and go in waves, never getting very bad. I also felt very thirsty for some reason. I was up quite a bit drinking and then using the bathroom.

At midnight I awoke from a dream in which I was trying to keep a woman from taking my daughter. It was dark and we were in two SUVs. My daughter in one and me in the other. I received a message from the woman that said, “I have come to take her”. I knew she was late. She was suppose to get her on the first of the month and in my mind I saw it was a week later than planned.

I woke up in pain and to a visual behind my eyes of a vibrant green. I then heard, “Vat 50” as part of a longer message. It had something to do with an energy wave coming and affecting a specific group of individuals. I didn’t much care about the message because the knot in my solar plexus was really bothering me. I could lay on my back just fine but if I attempted to lay on my side I would feel the cramping and have slight nausea. If I sat up I also felt fine but I can’t sleep sitting up.

I also smelled a strange smell that was very out of place. It was the smell of cigarette butts. I first smelled it in the bathroom but then it was really intense when I was laying in bed trying to sleep. It eventually went away but it was really odd.

It was 2am or around there before I think I finally fell asleep. When I woke up at 7am I felt fine but had a slight headache. I have been able to eat without incident this morning and have absolutely no sign of what I felt last night.

I am not sure if what I experienced was an actual sickness or if it was caused by a blockage in my solar plexus. When I checked the k-index I saw that during the night there had been very high geomagnetic storms, one hitting a 7 out of 9 on the scale. This is the highest I have seen in a while and I wonder if my illness was a reaction to it, especially since I seem to be having reactions to geomagnetic activity lately.

Whatever the case, I am exhausted this morning and feel like I have been through the wringer.

Link to current solar data.

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Odd Thoughts, Feelings and Sensations

After six weeks of eating vegetarian, I ate meat. As soon as I did I felt sick to my stomach and very, very full despite having not eaten much. When I lay down to sleep I had a strong feeling that my eating meat was going to affect my sleep, specifically that I would project. Turns out, I slept very well and awoke feeling rested which has not been the case all week. On top of that, I was able to project six times!

Interestingly, my projections were very unreal compared to my past experiences. They seemed fake to me, but I don’t know why. In the moment each occurred, they were indeed very real and very obviously OBEs. However, there was something that felt very “off” about all of them.

When I awoke from them I was not happy about having them. I have already written about the strong feelings I have now since having these projections. I feel that “someone” or some group of someones is purposefully trying to distract me from something through these experiences. I know this is completely out of character for me, but that is how it feels.

Odd Feelings, Thoughts and Sensations

For a while now I have been having thoughts of this life, this reality, being unreal. These thoughts are random and have been increasing in frequency over the past two months.

Examples of such thoughts:

  • I will look at the sky and feel very tiny, almost insignificant while at the same time feel to be watching myself from high above where I am three times the size of Earth. The resulting feeling is that I will disappear or disintegrate. Vanish. Poof!
  • Sitting with my youngest, I was fiddling with his hair and thinking how similar it felt to that of a doll. Then with this thought came a feeling that the experience I was having – the experience of motherhood – was not real and that all my relationships were similarly unreal. It is all pretend and the only reason for it existing at all was because I wanted it to.
  • At times my body will feel foreign to me. It is hard to explain but there is a sense that it is not mine; not me.
  • I also feel that I am being watched. By who I don’t know for sure. Sometimes I think it is Me and other times I swear I catch a glimmer of a person or a shadow moving past.

I honestly don’t know what to make of all this. I find it peculiar that my OBEs this morning had the recurring theme of death. In some my sister and mother were dead. In the last there were two heads poking out of the ground and I though instantly that they were dead. Is this a reflection of me feeling disconnected from this life and everyone in it? Is that why I had such a strange feeling when I woke up? What am I missing? What is happening to me?

I was warned that I would have strange thoughts and it is coming to pass. I was warned that I would feel different, similar to a newly hatched chick. I suppose that could be why my body feels foreign to me and why I am feeling so strangely alienated from my family; family whom I should have an overwhelmingly strong emotional connection to. It could be why I have such strange sensations in my body – I am overwhelmed by noises, the sun seems to sear my eyes and later in the day I want to keep them closed all day they are so tired, I have odd urges to be touched but at the same time I reject touch, I am anxious around people I don’t know and feel overwhelmed by their energy despite shielding myself from it.

On top of all this the line from a song is repeating in my head, “You’ve gotta take it on your own from here. It’s getting pathetic and I’m almost done here”. This comes from a Greg Laswell song, “Come Back Down“.

I am still not sure what the lines in the song indicates but it causes my heart center to pull when I think of it.

Whatever is happening, I hope the part of the song that says, “I’m almost done here” is a message that this will soon be over.

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Zapped with the Dizzies

It happened again. I felt faint, dizzy and fought a full-on panic attack. All this while in a meeting at work! I immediately thought, “I should’ve eaten a snack before this meeting” and looked at the time. It was 10am and I was struggling to control a fast heart-beat by looking out the window at the approaching storm clouds.

Then, almost as quickly as it came on, the feeling faded and by 10:45 the feeling was almost completely gone. I had a snack and it helped me settle even more.

I suspected another geomagnetic K-index of 5 or 6 being that is what initiated the feelings before. I looked it up and sure enough at the time of my dizzy spell and near panic attack there was a K-index of 6.

It looks like this activity will  be going on through tomorrow and there is a watch for more activity later. This is going to be an intense week energy-wise.

K-index definition and explanation.

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You May Now Exit the Roller Coaster

After this morning’s detached feeling, my day began to get frustrating. First, my car was dead when I tried to drive to the gym with my kids. They were all buckled in and then….click. Ominous silence. I am thinking, “Maybe I should just skip the gym today? I don’t really have to go there to do my workout…”.

So out we climbed, me irritated and my youngest unable to process that he was not going to go somewhere in the big car with mommy and his brother. He then followed me yell-crying – “Ouw-wow-wow-wow mahhh-wahhh” – while I called my husband to see if he would come give my car a jump.

My husband called the neighbor who came over with a battery charger in tow. It didn’t work too well. My car was totally dead.

Then we could not get the car into neutral so we could back it out of the garage and properly jump the battery. Apparently, Toyota makes their cars idiot-proof by making sure it won’t go into gear when the battery is dead. Thank goodness for Google which revealed there is a hidden box with a secret button that miraculously unlocks the shifter.

By now I am over an hour later than normal but I still head off to the gym. I had a momentary consideration that maybe I should just skip the gym today. This was the second time I had it. And the second time I disregarded it.

At the gym my littlest became a screaming mess and howled as I left him at the daycare while my older son happily went to play. The childcare worker assured me this was normal and he would calm down when I left. After my 5 minute warm-up the familiar face of the childcare worker popped in to tell me I had to get my child. “We have a policy on crying. We can’t hold them and we can only let them cry so much”.

Really?

By this time I was about ready to lose my cool. I got home and called my husband, thanking him for his help and then bursting into tears when I asked him if he could spare his lunch to watch the kids so I could get a little “me” time. He agreed. I’m not really sure why I cried.

I still felt oddly disconnected as I made lunch and cooled down. By the time my husband called to say he was on his way home I was 100% better and I recognized my failure to listen to the warnings which I had gotten all morning long before, during and now after the ordeal.

After my workout (yes – I finally got to go to the gym!) I got a surge of energy and stability. I finally felt reconnected to my body (a good workout will do that) and still do now.

What is funny is that this hiccup in my day and the high’s and low’s it created left me feeling similar to how one feels when they exit a roller coaster. What a wild ride! hehe

And all I keep thinking is, “This is a dream. This is a dream. This is a dream”.

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Options, Options

The morning started out sour. Thankfully, I was able to return to sleep and when I awoke the sour feeling was replaced with reluctant acceptance. With this acceptance came the message, “One day at a time, one step at a time” along with the vision of putting one foot in front of the other. I understood and remembered in the past how often times when I have thought nothing could change and life would never get better that it did – eventually. Not that life is that bad at the moment.

Heart-to-Heart

This Venus retrograde is getting tiring and that is one reason why I awoke in a sour mood. My husband and I had long talk last night, prompted by his overall dissatisfaction with life. At first I thought he was telling me that he wanted to split up and found myself holding my breath and thinking the worst. I focused on my heart center and felt I should just listen to him since it is not often we get to talk without disruption. He needed me to listen.

Eventually the movement of the energy of my husband, its force and intensity, began to lessen. I could literally feel it lighten and stop moving toward me. I recognized that he had been throwing it at me and had I not focused on my heart I would have become overwhelmed by it.

Now that the energy was more neutral the real talking could begin, and it did. We ended up with a productive chat and what is outrageous about it is that my husband and I began talking about empathy and he used the analogy of a strength training workout! Such synchronicity as I had just written the same analogy that morning and he was not aware that I had.

Fly Little Bird, Fly

I slept easily after our talk but, like I said, I awoke not very happy. I knew upon waking that my days of spiritual epiphanies, Kundalini bliss and wholeness/connection with my Higher Self were over. The message in my head was clear as it said, “I am done”. So final, so earth-shattering in its simplicity.

I tried to pretend I did not know what the message meant, but I did/do. It means that the process has reached a plateau. The baton has been passed. It’s my turn to learn to fly and I am being nudged over the side of the nest.

The last time this happened I met my husband and began my family. It was indeed a wild ride. What is to come of this one? I don’t know yet, but the signs are there.

Options, Options

Interestingly, the first sign of change has been presented to me. After years of waiting, my husband has finally negotiated with his employer a change in pay that increases his base pay significantly while lowering his bonus pay. Though this is not ideal (husband hates it) that increase in base pay has been something I have pushed him to do since 2011. The increase in pay means I don’t need to work anymore.

The possibilities are endless and the freedom of this change is palpable. We have already discussed the options. He wants to eventually leave his job and build his own company. I want to stay home and work on the business that I am trying to build. I also want to be home to watch my children, to teach my 4-year-old and prepare him for school, and to find balance in my life.

Options:

  1. I leave my job and focus on building my business, home school my preschooler and help my husband plan and build his business. Pros – I get what I want, husband gets what he wants. Cons – loss of extra income, loss of medical insurance.
  2. I stay at my job until the end of the year to save up money for my husband’s business. Pros – surplus of income, keep medical insurance.

I am not sure what I want to do right now. I am finding myself resistant to leaving work just yet. They need me there. To leave early presents my employer with trying to find a replacement during a non-ideal time. It also leaves my students with no counselor.

But all my life I have wanted to not have to work; to be able to do as I pleased without financial worry.

What would you do?

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Light-Headed Low Blood Sugar Blues

Yesterday was yet another not-so-good day.

Light-Headed Low Blood Sugar Blues

I am two weeks into my new workout regime which consists of strength training and cardio 4 times a week. My goal is to gain muscle and lose fat. I have a personal trainer every other week, so this week I am on my own.

This workout started with 20 minutes on the elliptical trainer. About 15 minutes in I began to zone out and feel faint. Right as I ended the workout I had to get off and walk around to shake off the jitters.

I heard my guide say, “You are not grounded” and this made sense. So I did an ab circuit and after I felt good enough to do the rest of my workout. However, by the time I got into the car to drive home I was shaky again and had to eat a protein bar. Thankfully it worked by the time I got to the grocery store.

These episodes are low blood sugar episodes and I am very familiar with them. Unfortunately, they trigger mild panic attacks and I hate those. My heart felt weird, like it does when the chakra is activated, and this is hard to ignore. I was talking myself down from panic most of the drive to the store.

The rest of the day I ate like a never-ending pit. Yet the low blood-sugar blues hit me hard in the evening. All this means is that I get irritable and cranky, tired and quick to anger. I ate and ate, hoping to fix the issue but it seemed not to be enough. I was absolutely awful last night because of it.

I lost my temper so many times last night I have lost count. Everything set me off. Then things kept going wrong.

My youngest was in a strange mood, crying and going into a rage when I would not pick him up. He got so mad at me that he started ramming his whole little body into a door to show me how mad he was! He cried endlessly for over an hour even when I held him.

My son’s endless tantrum throwing caused me to be late to the bus stop to pick up my daughter and I got a call to come pick her up at the school. My MIL went to get her but was late and that made us late for my daughter’s eye appointment. Then the eye appointment dragged on and on well into dinner time. Turns out she needed reading glasses (WTF?) so we went to get some for her at Wal-Mart and so did not eat until well after 6pm.

This delay of dinner time was the last straw. I guess my body just is not adapting as well to the changes imposed upon it. I will have to plan better in the future!

BTW, it’s Normal

It is normal for one’s metabolism to increase significantly when they start a weight lifting routine like I did. In two weeks I have lost 4 pounds despite increasing my caloric intake from 1600/day to 2100/day. I am now going to have to increase my calories to 2300/day. This is very hard for me to do and I actually gag on food because I get so tired of eating it. Hopefully my metabolism levels out soon!

Yet I suspect that all this physical change mixed with the spiritual changes I have been experiencing is the cause for the significant reaction I had yesterday to an otherwise “normal” workout. I was told a while back to lay off the intense weight lifting and I did at that time and felt recently it was okay to resume. I still feel it is, however, I think more needs to be done to make the transition less bumpy.