Category Archives: visions

by

Dreams: Brain Surgery, Snake in Bedroom and Walk-Out

Hope everyone had a good Christmas. Mine went well. I slept wonderfully on Christmas Eve, something that has not happened in – well IDK how long. 

Been having lots of dreams lately. Going to document them here.

Brain Surgery

Dreamed I was getting a surgery on my head. I don’t recall the actual surgery, just brief moments where there was concern and then I was being told I had surgery. This part of the dream is hazy and it felt like I was male for some reason.

Then I was in a car with several others. It felt like we were all driving, squished up into the driver’s seat. I remember my perceptions were skewed. There were bright colors and streaks around me where the scenery should have been. I was screaming to the others, “I only have five years left to live.” The feeling was that the surgery was for something bad like cancer and though it helped me, it left me changed and I would not last more than 5 years as a result. I didn’t feel this was bad in the dream. It was more like I was on a psychedelic dream ride and I didn’t care.

Snake in Bedroom

There was a large, gray snake in my bedroom. At first I just let it be because it was hiding underneath items and didn’t seem interested in bothering me. I was still cautious, though, and couldn’t sleep for worry it might make its way into my bed. So, I decided to find it to get it out of my space. I got down on my hands and knees and started looking around with my flashlight. I looked under the bed and saw a bright green lizard with cool colors and patterns on his crest. He was awesome looking. As I was getting my camera to take a picture the snake came out of nowhere and ate the lizard in one bite. I watched in horror as the snake consumed it and then stared at the snake who was practically immobilized by the lump of the undigested lizard. 

I left the room to search for someone to help me get rid of the snake. No one would help me despite me telling them it would be easy to get him since he had just eaten. My sister ended up being the only person to help me. I woke before we could extricate the snake. 

School Fundraiser Order

I was in an elementary school as the counselor. I walked along the halls and ended up running into a student who said they had money to order the fundraiser items (not sure what it was). I took them to a desk and sat down, searching through the material to get the information. I told him that I didn’t know if the deadline to order had passed or not. He had cash and I asked if he also had a check. He said yes and I took it and said if it was past the deadline I could return the check. As he was leaving I found the info and it said the money had to be received four weeks before Christmas. I told him he wouldn’t get his item until January. At this point he was annoyed and I think took back the check. I remember being focused on the calendar and seeing two weeks before the holiday and two weeks after as if it was significant.

Walk-Out

I was with a group on the set of a film or show of some kind. I was watching a scene unfold. A woman had been injured and was presumed dead. She was on the floor pretending to be dead as the others in the scene gathered around her. She moved her head slightly and this caught my attention. I thought, “She needs to stay still or they will know she’s not dead.” I remember looking at the background – the props, the lighting – and noting two, small, pebble sized, white blobs on the wall. One minute they had iridescent coloring and another it was gone. The room was sparsely furnished and for some reason I thought if us all as dolls and thought, “Barbie.” I wondered pondered on it, almost gaining lucidity, but then the woman playing dead moved her head even more, this time very obvious to everyone in the room. The script was interrupted and had to be altered. The others in the room played along and improvised and, before I knew it, everyone was in on it and the whole movie or whatever it was ended with everyone telling the audience it was all a show and seeming relieved it was over. I felt shocked in the dream, not believing everyone was doing this, but I went along with it because, what could I do? If they didn’t play their parts as scripted, I couldn’t play mine.

We walked outside, the energy high as everyone chattered about the improvised ending. It seemed like no big deal. I watched two women standing in discussion about their roles and interrupted. I think they were talking about dolls and again I thought “Barbie”. I mentioned how they needed to learn how to share their dolls and looked at the woman on the right. I asked, “Are you an only child?” She nodded she was. I said, “Then you especially need to learn how to share your toys.” 

Then I was approached by a woman who asked me who my favorite actor was. I said I didn’t have one initially but then said, “Trey”. In my mind a visual of a young, handsome, man came to mind. Then the man appeared and asked me to dance. I agreed and took his hand. As we danced I could feel our bodies pressing against one another. He was fully dressed but I seemed to be naked. I could feel him becoming aroused. The dream ended there.

The actor in the dream who I said I liked and called “Trey” was Paul Wesley. 

Interpretation

The brain surgery dream was on Christmas Eve. It feels like the dream was telling me that, in five years, I will have a completely changed perception. This could be that I am seeing things differently, as in spiritual sight, or perhaps a change in personality – or everything even. Brain surgery symbolizes big change to my mental state and how I think, feel and perceive. In the dream the brain surgery feels necessary, like a life saving surgery would be. That I have so many others in the driver’s seat seems to indicate I will have a lot of help during this time. So, 5 years from now I will be “dead”, meaning the Old me will be gone. Or I guess it could mean I am really dead but I highly doubt that.  

The snake in the bedroom is likely related to my research of late regarding the Year of the Snake. It doesn’t officially end until February and during this time, also a nine year, those of us experiencing this intense period of rebirth will be removing the last remnants of our old “skin”. It could be a powerfully transformative time if we properly prepare ourselves. As we move into the Year of the Horse, we will experience a void of sorts, a time of integration and seemingly slow progress. Then the acceleration begins in February (Feb tends to be a time of intensity for me) and we will be propelled into intense change and rebirth. 

In the dream I am uncomfortable with the snake being in my bedroom (private self, innermost thoughts, desires and emotions). It appears I am struggling with shedding the last vestiges of the Old and so the snake makes me feel uneasy but I tolerate it. The lizard is found as I attempt to remove the snake and then the snake eats it. Lizards represent the primordial Self and survival along with instinct and fear. The snake eats it and I decide I have to remove the snake once and for all. I find it interesting that the lizard is so pretty and I am fascinated with it in the dream. Perhaps I will come to terms with some instinctual urges and shed considerations regarding those? 

The school dream feels more like a consideration about receiving something, a gift perhaps or something purchased, after the holidays in mid-January. 

The final dream appears to be a recognition that at some point the script will not be followed. I end up following along because I realize my part must be altered as well. So the connection to the greater Collective comes up and is accepted. The part about Barbies is interesting as I see myself and others as a doll or toy, which is also like an actor only one that is manipulated by a higher force. Learning to share comes up and I wonder if this is me pointing out how sometimes we need help? The end about the favorite actor seems to distract me for a bit. It seems completely unrelated to the movie were were actors in. I am naked and unconcerned. Nakedness is vulnerability but I see it as a good thing in dreamtime because it indicates I am opening myself to others and  new experiences.

In case you are wondering, the actor I call “Trey” in the dream is Paul Wesley. 

by

Lucid Dream: Trapped Under a House

Eventful morning.

Lucid Dream: Yard Work

I woke up around 3:30am and couldn’t fall back to sleep because of thoughts about current life events. I asked for help from my guidance who told me, “Everything will be okay. You are loved.” I somehow fell asleep right after.

I found myself standing in the front yard of a house in a subdivision. A man was walking towards me wearing gardening attire. He had a shovel in his hands and was wearing work gloves and a hat (maintenance happening). He held up his hand calling to me. I waited as he drew closer. He asked me about my yard and I told him I didn’t care about it, it was no longer my problem. He was all smiles and motioned to a blower vent (need to vent?) on the roof saying it hadn’t been working. I went up to it. There were two large, aluminum vents hanging over the edge. I flipped a switch on it and it began to blow. I told him, “Looks like it’s working to me.” 

I went inside the house. It had familiar components to it but was not any home I’ve ever lived in. Everything had a golden hue to it. When I walked in I was in a living area. Directly in front of me was the kitchen and dining area with a large table. The man followed me in. He was talking about some plants in the yard, specifically mentioning large burs (life’s annoyances) that would grow on them. I told him he must have meant the plants that flowered and the burs were their seeds.

He asked me about my plans for the day. I walked towards the kitchen island as I mentioned something about being at the island. This is where I began to get lucid. I knew I was dreaming but did not interrupt the dream with a thought or consideration, just noted it and let the dream continue.

The man sat down and began talking, rambling really, about things I no longer recall. He sat at the table and I recognized him. He was my ex. His face was clear and bright. One by one my children came into the room and sat at the table. Somehow they always migrated towards us when we were together in the kitchen. He mentioned how he was planning on doing a painting that day and went on about it for some time. 

I stared at him as his words went in one ear and out the other. I recognized what was playing out. It was the same thing, time and time again throughout our marriage. He would wake early, excited for the day, and immediately ask me what I had planned. Before I could respond he would go into his own plans, usually something that did not involve me or the children. Some kind of project or work that he alone took pleasure in. He never once considered how his plans might impact mine, if I had any, which I rarely did. He never once considered how, when he filled up his weekend with plans that didn’t involve us, I had no other option but to be the caregiver, housemaid, cook, etc. If I had any plans, they had to involve the children. He left me no other choice. If I objected to his plans, citing how I needed a day off to do nothing, he would immediately dismiss it, saying his plans trumped my “no plan” because he had a plan. 

In the dream I decided I was not going to stand there and listen. I invited my youngest child to come with me outside. His hand in mine, we walked out the front door. It was bright outside. The lawn’s vivid green and the sky’s bright blue making the scene somewhat surreal. I asked him, “Do you want to fly with me?” He looked up at me and nodded he did. I noticed he was completely naked and approximately 2 years old. I leaped up into the air with him and hit a wall. Pushed back to the ground I laughed and he laughed with me. That is when I noticed a man walking towards us. He was dark haired and unfamiliar. He had a straight face but for some reason it felt like he came to take my son. I reach down and picked him up, never losing eye contact with the man. As I turned to leave, I was pulled into my sleeping body. 

I woke up and lingered in bed a while still heavy with sleep. I asked for another lucid dream. I fell into a dream almost immediately.

Lucid Dream: Trapped Under the House

This one was short because of how odd the scene was that I came into. I was back in the house. The golden color persisted. In front of me, laying naked (vulnerability) and wet (emotion) on the floor, was my ex. He was face down but had twisted his neck and torso so that he was looking at me. It looked like the house (life situation, self, family) had fallen on him (lost control). The wall was sitting on his back at chest level and he was flailing about with his arms trying to scoot himself out from under it. I asked him, “What are you doing? Why are you wet and…are you naked?” I thought about helping him and imagined going outside to pull him out by the legs. When I imagined this I thought of him being naked. As soon as I rejected the idea of confronting him naked I came back to my body.

A song was going through my head, these words specifically:

“All that we want, all that we need, they’re different things…”. This is from Non-Believer by London Grammar. The song explores the disconnect between desires and necessities in relationships. Highlighting confusion and disillusionment when what seems good isn’t actually what’s truly good for us.

I don’t know the meaning of the song for me. Was it about what my ex is experiencing since he was trapped under a house? Maybe. 

Short Dream/Vision

I fell asleep briefly and saw a person with my purse (self-worth, identity) standing at a windowed opening like what you would find at a front desk check-in. The person had my purse open and was picking out tiny colored pieces and sticking them together to make something. It reminded me of Legos. As I prepared to ask them what they were doing with my purse I woke up. 

Reflection

I believe the dreams provided insight as to work I’m doing in dreamtime. I believe the first ended prematurely because I was unwilling to go through something I had experienced time and time again in my relationship. Perhaps there was something I needed to realize but I never did because I left?

The second dream reminds me of the Wizard of Oz. It’s significant that the house had fallen on my ex and trapped him under it. Perhaps he feels trapped by his current situation in life? Or maybe the house is a reflection of me and I have him trapped somehow? Him being wet and naked indicates his current state. He is in an emotional situation both with his new girlfriend and in ending his relationship with me. I don’t think he has actually taken time to grieve it. He may feel vulnerable as a result. I opt not to help him, which is indicative of how I feel currently in regards to him. I wouldn’t help him if he asked because I know if I did he would try to manipulate me and pull me back into the mess I worked so hard to extricate myself from.

The last mini-dream is significant to me because it symbolizes the process of putting myself back together. I think the check-in window is also significant indicating a willingness to move forward.

by

Dreams: Obstacle Course and Betrayal

Some dreams to document…

Dream: Obstacle Course

I was with a group outside near a body of water (emotion) which was below an embankment we were all standing on. We were waiting on something and it felt like I was participating in an obstacle course. Out of the sky fell some gray, flat objects. I asked what they were and someone told me they were to help warm the water as it was so cold it would cause a shock to the body. I pointed to a narrow section of the water and asked, “Why not just jump across?” I jumped across easily and the others followed me.

On the other side we stood on a sandy area near the body of water. I don’t remember much here except the scene and how vast and dark (unknown, fear) the water was out in front of us

Then we were in a bedroom (personal life). We all got into a large bed. A screen was on the wall and we were to watch a movie (life). I found it quite boring but stayed since it felt like it was my duty to do so. Then I turned and saw everyone had left the bed and I was alone. Realizing I didn’t have to stay for duties sake, I got up and looked for my shoes (individual life path) to leave. I saw my black shoes, still wet from the obstacle course, and also my gray ones. My gray ones had the laces (ties to ones path) partially pulled out, though. I commented that someone must have tried to take them. A guide who was with me the entire dream stood behind me and I noticed his presence strongly at this point. 

Reflection

I think this dream symbolizes the unknowns of an obstacle course that has been my life. I survived with only wet shoes but then proceeded to “get in bed” with others to watch a boring movie (life) and then realized they weren’t there with me and it was pointless to stay. The shoelaces off the shoe indicates a subconscious awareness of loosening social ties with a particular group. In this case I think it is my husband’s family. I was “in bed” with them, trying hard to be accepted into their group despite finding their “movie” boring. lol 

Dream: Betrayal

I was with my ex inside a house similar to the one we shared when married. He was being very nice and generous since I felt acknowledged by him, I offered to help with some household chores. This is when I noticed we were laying side by side on the sofa. I felt safe with him and reached for his hand. He responded by reminding me his girlfriend was upstairs and so I should be quiet so as to not wake her. This infuriated me and I considered going upstairs and confronting her, even doing her harm. Rather than do that, I fled, went outside to my car and drove away. I tried to get out fast but someone had left their chickens out and they kept wandering into my path. I had to stop several times to avoid killing them. 

Reflection

When I woke I felt bad about the dream because it outlined the betrayal I felt. My ex often manipulated me like he did in the dream. I felt I betrayed myself by continuing to believe he actually cared about me. 

A flash of a sentence written three times came into my mind. It said, “You deserve better”. I agreed. 

I think the dream shows my regret for my outbursts upon recognizing the betrayal I felt and how I avoided doing much worse things by trying to flee the scene. Unfortunately, chickens (fear) kept slowing me down. 

by

Reviewing my HD Chiron Return Recording

Listened to the recording of my HD Chiron Return reading last night. 

The first thing that caught my attention was my voice. It was hard to listen to; grating. Is this what I sound like to people right now? Geez! I immediately felt bad for the 5/1 Mental Projector giving me the reading. I was often talking more than her. I recognized this came from a sense of desperation, from a severe lack of being invited to speak my mind while another listens and gives me space. It has been so long since my voice/perspective has been genuinely requested by another and the result was this not-self version of my voice. 

The good thing is that I noticed the grating of my voice lessened at certain times. If I was coming from a place of my not-self it was more intense and grating, hard to listen to. If I was coming from a place of genuine Knowing, or my G center (heart in regular chakra terms), then my voice was much smoother. My voice has never been something I like to hear, just because it sounds so different from how it sounds from within, but hearing this recording screamed/demanded recognition. True recognition isn’t demanded, it is gifted. 

Regardless, I listened past the tone of my voice and tried to focus on what the analyst was saying. I wish I had given her more space to do her job. I don’t like appearing super needy. I’ve actually accused (been accusing) my ex of this more times than I can count. Now I recognize that criticism of him was a hidden revelation of self. 

Thankfully the analyst recognized that I, as a SPP, needed to be asked specific questions in order to pull out the wisdom I don’t know I have. Her questions revealed exactly what lies ahead, my path and purpose clearly stated by myself more than once. She also reminded me of my purpose via her knowledge of my chart. Everything is in the chart/bodygraph. Spotting past decisions in the chart is easier than predicting future ones, though. For example, she showed me where, during my Uranus Opposition, there was fixed condition in my personality earth – Gate 1: The Creative, line 3, the energy to sustain creative work:

(Detriment) Material forces can disrupt creativity and lead to overambition. Materialism disrupts creativity.

This part of my personality impacted my decision to wait until the right time to leave my husband. In my previous marriage, I gave up material gain and later regretted it. The next four years I was hindered by the need to make money and survive. I decided I didn’t want this to happen again, so I waited until the right time and gathered resources while I waited. The resources I gathered and acquired via the divorce ensured I would not be hindered by material concerns. The analyst said that this decision set in motion events leading to the present. My Chiron chart shows evidence of this preparation as well: Gate 14. 

The gate is called Prosperity. In the traditional Chinese translation, it’s called Possession In Great Measure. It’s a gateway of harvesting. An effort is made, implemented, and the result is you reap the results of your labor. It’s very specific how this all takes place. And it says there is a knack in learning to embody genuine ease in situations involving resources of property, wealth, and affluence. 

I have line 2 which states that I recognize I need help to acquire this wealth. It also (detriment) can be that I think I can do it all on my own without anyone’s help. In my case, I recognized that I needed my ex and his business to create wealth and that I needed his agreement to accumulate some for myself. I was able to get his agreement and so succeeded. 

There were other instances of this but this was the most mind-blowing, IMO. The analyst agreed. 

Towards the end we got to my life beyond the Chiron Return and what that will look like. If I make it through this gauntlet I will be a completely new person. Somehow the question about how that might look to me came up. My response was that I believed I came here to help and so, based upon how my life has played out thus far, I believe my next “life” will involve a significant romantic relationship. My life thus far, my purpose and direction, has been via my romantic relationships. I help them and when I am done I move on. This next relationship must be just right. There will be no settling or accepting anything less than what I want. I mentioned I believe it will be a K-Connection and we will work together with that connection. I told her the connection is a necessity because I will not accept anything else. The Divine Love and Oneness I experienced has made normal, human, transactional love repellant to me. The exact “work” we will do together didn’t come up but it will be related to the Kundalini in some way.

The analyst brought up how, in HD, the solar plexus is going through a transformation and is shifting from an energy center to an awareness center. The transactional love humans experience here is “foreign” (perhaps implanted to hinder our evolution) and is on its way out. Part of this transition can already be seen. Love will be a whole new experience after 2027 but the transition will be gradual. She believes I might be here to be an example of what love is suppose to be pointing to my cross (purpose) during the Chiron, the Right Angle Cross of Contagion.

Finally, I said some things that helped bring clarity to my current situation. I had an interview on Friday and was not sure if I wanted to take the job if offered. Part of me does but another part of me doesn’t. I stated during my reading that I should “walk away” from my life, but am struggling with leaving my kids behind as it would be considered “abandoning” them. I suggested I take a long cruise or trip that kept me away 6-12 months and let the cards fall where they may while I’m gone. I even mentioned that, while I don’t know what will take me away for that length of time, I do feel that timing is key. Something will come along at the right time that will feel correct and I will leave. 

How does this relate to my current situation? Well, when listening to my own Knowing on the recording, I recognized working at a school was not what I want to do and doing so would only repeat old patterns that no longer serve me. I don’t need to work, so why not take this time to work on me and enjoy not working? When I had this realization my guide came forward and held out his hand. He asked me if I was ready and reminded me I had help and was not alone. There was a Knowing with his request that taking his hand meant making some difficult changes, not just in life decisions but in myself. Change takes time, especially change that involves breaking unhealthy habits (weak boundaries, accepting the wrong invitations regularly, being a people pleaser, giving into others requests/demands despite it not being correct for me, etc.) I took his hand and burst into tears.

I was able to get a glimpse of the future me. I recognized her. I’ve been her before. I AM her. I just have to clear the cobwebs and debris from my life so her light can shine as brightly as intended.

by

New Type of Vision?

While at the cabin this weekend (Saturday night), I couldn’t sleep. After much time tossing and turning, eyes closed, trying to settle into sleep, I lay flat on my back and stared up at the ceiling. Superimposed over my vision I saw a small, black, snake slithering its way up my line of sight. Its tail was on fire, threatening to consume it. The fire actually looked like a lit fuse. Surprised, I blinked and then rolled over, shutting my eyes, trying to forget it.

Then, last night (Sunday night), there was another such vision. I had just crawled into bed, dead tired from lack of sleep the night before, and again my eyes were open. I saw the room, but superimposed over the top of it was a woman looking down at me, as if peering into the water at her own reflection. I could see her face, her wide eyes, her shoulders and even her fingers as they grasped the side of an invisible container, a container I was in! She was outlined in a ghostly, bluish white light, and all her features glowed with the light. There was no other color to her but that. That one gave me a little scare and I closed my eyes. When I reopened them, she was gone.

These come months after seeing an “apparition” swirling above me in bed while I was staying at my new cabin. And just recently the “UFO” lights I previously wrote about (last weekend).

So far I am not overly bothered by any of it except that it can cause further delay to sleep, which I dislike. It would probably be scary if there was some kind of communication with these visions, but so far there has been none. Hours prior to seeing the snake, however, I did hear someone whisper my name and say, “I’m so, so sorry.”

by

Dream: Alaska

Vivid dreams again. 

The first dream was of me and my best friend from HS. We were walking outside at night and she was being like she was in HS – very dismissive. I was telling her that I liked how she was when she was dating her boyfriend and also how she use to make up stories and songs, etc. She replied nastily that she hated when she was like that. 

What I recall the most was how I was trying to persuade her to still be that person and, as a result, my friend. 

I don’t remember much else from that dream.

Dream: Alaska

I was sitting at a long, rectangular table with others (my council). Somehow I knew I was in Alaska (cold, desolate, isolated). The people with me appeared to be native Alaskans (teachers), all except me. One of them asked me if I would be interested in teaching in Alaska at their school. I said only if I got to leave when it got cold and the long, dark days took over. In my mind I was thinking the month of October.

A woman approached me to serve me some food. She had a casserole dish with what reminded me of enchiladas except the enchiladas were twice the size they should be. I asked what it was and she said “grubs” (negative thoughts/emotion/experience). Carefully inspecting the large, stuffed, white, tubular grubs, I was immediately grossed out and politely told her I didn’t eat such things. There was another dish that was obviously some kind of shredded beef (happy times) and I pointed to it saying I could eat that.

They told me the class they wanted me to teach was economics. I thought about it and was uncertain if I should teach a class I’ve never taught. I was asked about my financial situation. I told them it was not an issue and “much better than last time”, which I felt relief in saying. They seemed happy to hear this. I remember being very thoughtful about the situation of becoming a teacher in Alaska. I had thoughts of the last time I was there and considered living through the harsh winter again because it suddenly seemed not so bad in hindsight.

Finally, I noticed everyone looking in my direction, their plates empty. Then a fork full of food was shoved in my face. I pushed it away. Then they all began to shove forks full of food into my mouth. I stood up and said, “I can’t eat that much! Look at me.” They looked as I turned sideways for them to see. “I’m skinny. I can’t digest that much all at once.” The forks of food stopped and their faces showed understanding.

This is where the dream ended. 

Considerations

When I woke I lingered, my thoughts immediately going to the dream with my friend from HS. Many memories of how she treated me came forward. These memories have come forward to inspect many times before. I was able to see just how shocked I really was by the mistreatment. She was very dismissive and at times even mocked me in front of her groupies while I responded without upset as if deserving of her mistreatment. I realized, after all the memories had passed, that she didn’t have the courage to just tell me she didn’t want to be friends anymore. Instead, she chose to mistreat me and hopefully I would get the message. I only got the message after we graduated and she dissed me at the college we both decided to attend together. By that point it was crystal clear she wanted nothing to do with me.

I was able to observe enough through the memories to realize that she was the last person I had actually been myself with, fully vulnerable and open. After her mistreatment, I withdrew into myself, constructing walls around myself to protect myself from harm. 

I was also able to see that my effect upon people, then and even now, caused major discomfort. Why? Because I can see straight into their very Being (Projector) and most are not comfortable with themselves, much less someone who can see the very flaws they are trying to hide. It is a select few who can accept me – thus, accept themselves. 

The feeling when this happens is hard to describe but I touched upon it with each memory of rejection. I feel uncomfortable (their discomfort), and awkward (their awkwardness) and then want to retreat as far as I can away from them (they want to get away from me). Other times I feel upset or anger – the emotion varies depending on the person. My almost completely open design (HD) causes me to mistakenly think that what I am feeling is all me. It isn’t. It is them. Their rejection is a rejection of themselves. 

I tried to return to sleep, but couldn’t. I had become upset by all the memories, especially the rejection by my friend from HS. I know now why I didn’t get angry or vengeful or bitter when she rejected me. I knew her treatment of me was a reflection of her own inner struggle and I loved her enough to allow her to go through it, even if it meant I would be hurt in the end. She confirmed my Knowing in an apology to me much later, when in our twenties. 

The most upsetting was thinking just how seldom I meet someone and feel completely comfortable and at ease. It is extremely rare. I began to cry considering how difficult it has been to have that effect on people. Now that I am older, I no longer try to hide what I see inside people. I just let it show all over my face and reject them before they can reject me. I carry with me the message “leave me alone” and it is purposeful. I would rather just….not.

With this, my guidance sent me a vision. It was complete darkness and at the very end, as if a tunnel, was a tiny, extremely bright, white light. I heard, “Look for the light.” I knew this was a suggestion that instead of being overwhelmed by the darkness of the people I encounter to look for their light. They all have it. This is how I use to be, back before this world turned me cynical and bitter. 

Or it could be a message to look for the light in general.

As for the Alaska dream, I think it is symbolic of the time I actually lived in Alaska and the dark, cold winters I hated while there. It was pretty bad and the only time I actually really considered suicide. Like another recent dream, there was a rectangular table which I’ve come to recognize as my council. If my council is around it means a critical situation is at hand. The grubs for food are symbolic of some issue or negative emotion(s) I am rejecting. Me teaching is likely my council reminding me of lessons I have or have had. Economics is probably symbolic of my financial state and a lesson to be learned there as well. The force feeding could be that I feel overwhelmed. As a result, I ask for more time to “digest”. 

The shredded beef dish in the meal symbolizes positive thoughts and dreams, happiness and contentedness. Of course, who wouldn’t want that to eat?

by

Come Back to the Sea

The solar flares have subsided and so I slept much better last night. Sadly, there were three earthquakes in and around New Zealand yesterday and a volcano in Sicily has been erupting for some time. It is not unusual for geomagnetic activity to spur such events. If solar flares can effect Earth changes in such a way, think what it can do to the human body and energy system.

I am told/Know that these changes are “effectual”. It is all part of the Plan.

Though I had no exciting experiences during dreamtime, I did awake with my guidance very close. At first I was in a dream conversation with a woman who was fascinated by my Kundalini experiences. She was asking me to describe my experiences. How did you feel? What was it like? How did it change you? I remember answering her with as much detail as I could but finding it difficult to describe with words. With each of my answers, lucidity increased, until I awakened to find a guide very close. 

Recognizing this guide’s energy, I knew he had been the woman in my dream and wanted to continue our conversation outside of the dreamstate. With him prompting me, I continued to review my past experiences. It took no time at all to Return to them all and when I was done I was left wanting them to repeat and for the experience to never end. I remember asking, “I don’t want to go back to normal afterward.” It felt like I had failed when I said this. Why would I go through so much, experience Oneness and Expansion, only to fall back down and seemingly lose it all?

This guide told me, “You don’t have to.” 

Then he did what I have not experienced in quite a while. Something about him being present, or maybe my acknowledgment of him, created the perfect recipe for Knowing. And so as his communication came through I often found myself completing his sentences and eventually speaking as if I were him. 

What I recall now of our conversation was that to maintain such a state (meaning not coming back “down” after a Kundalini rising) is that conscious change much occur. He/I continued to state that I Knew what change was needed but had been stalling out of fear and inability to confront the entire picture. There is not need for shame over such things. It is part of being human.

Each thread of color, though seemingly insignificant, infuses a dull tapestry with vibrant color until eventually the entire tapestry is transformed. 

One word stands out: Integration.

Integration means taking the “thread” of every transformative experience and sewing it into physical reality. Each thread changes the texture and color of the human experience. Each thread of color, though seemingly insignificant, infuses a dull tapestry with vibrant color until eventually the entire tapestry is transformed. 

This, he said, is how change occurs. It is not necessary for me to do anything as it is already and has been in process this entire time. Eventually, the vibrant colors of my tapestry will be so much that change will take place in such a way as to reveal a new image. When this happens, the old and new will become as one. 

I, of course, could feel what these changes were but I couldn’t and still cannot determine the specifics of the change. How they will come about remains a mystery. Yet a part of me has been feeling particularly sorrowful about the state of the world for some time – my whole life, really. In my daily life I see around me evidence of a dying planet and, with it, a dying people. It is not physical decay but something altogether more devastating. And the human me cannot confront it and so pushes it out of her mind. 

On my daily walks I cannot ignore the utter disregard for this planet displayed all around me. Trash littering the creek. Syringes dotting the sidewalks. Condoms. Plan B boxes. Beer bottles. Face masks. I feel sadness and want to help but I know that just picking up the trash won’t make a dent in the problem.  

For example, I own a section of the creek and have picked up trash only to have the next heavy rain fill the creek back up with even more trash than before it was cleaned. My husband even arranged a community-wide clean up of the creek. He approached the city for help and they provided a free trash container. Only three people showed from our entire subdivision to help clean up. The rest used the dumpster/container to dump their old furniture and garbage. They thought only of themselves and their homes, not of the creek or the bigger problem we were trying to solve. 

I feel overwhelmed. I am just one person, one person against a formidable opponent. It feels like me against the world. 

This morning I told my guide, “There is no hope for this world. Let it die.” 

The word “integration” came to mind again, this time with the chorus from a song, one I have been drawn to over the last few days. 

I spent so long looking for a way
I could be a part of another home
I tried so hard blocking out the waves
But my ocean heart never let it go

This people, my people
Sea people can not really leave
This people, my people
Sea people come back to the sea
Come back to the sea

There is something about the song that calls to me. It brings with it a haunted feeling. The melody and words bring an echo of something familiar. I am not particularly drawn to the sea, though. I feel the song reminds me of myself and how I have spent my entire life looking for Home. And I Knew that the message was I have always been Home. 

The change coming scares me but I know that when it does come, I will be ready. 

Vision

I tried to return to sleep and must have fallen into the in-between briefly because I was brought out of my reverie quickly by a vision. 

I saw a book  in front of me as if laying on my seated thighs. It’s pages large and smooth and so large they stretched from one thigh to the next. Someone (me?) was turning the pages slowly. I saw the images of men I have known pass before my eyes, but I didn’t recognize them except to acknowledge them as part of my “story”. It was clear that I was viewing a photo album, especially when I flipped the pages to the last image. The image I saw was of a bearded man. Various images were situated in a collage on the page. All of them were of this man. He had dark hair that went to his shoulders. His beard was also long, and he had a streak of gray on the right. 

When I saw the picture I felt that I was being shown another person in my story and so the shock of it was what brought me out of my reverie. The shock in part came from the fact that I just saw a man who resembled the photos yesterday while I was on a run. He was walking his dog and waved at me. I remember he turned and stared before he waved and smiled. I glanced his way and waved back. I’d never seen him before. 

Now I don’t  necessarily believe that the vision is showing me my future. It is more likely that a memory of yesterday surfaced and there is no particular reason or rhyme to it. It was very vivid, though, so I had to at least document it. 

by

Vision: Tidal Wave

Woke this morning and had a vision as I was considering my life at present. I saw a tidal wave coming up over my head. It never hit because I came out of my reverie.

I instantly began thinking of the omens I have seen on my walks since we returned home from Montana. The first was a dead rabbit. Yesterday I found a dead dove in the middle of the field as if it just decided to lay down and take a nap.

Tidal wave symbolism – appears when one is under a great deal of pressure or is going through significant life change. The water aspect is all about emotion and in the form of a tidal wave it is a surge of emotion where one feels overwhelmed or unable to cope with what is happening in their life. Usually these changes have to do with procrastination or avoidance of one’s true feelings about something.

Dead dove symbolism – to see a dead dove means an ending to a significant relationship. Because doves mate for life, when one dies the other often sits by the body of their loved one to their own detriment, meaning they will often die, too. So, to see a dead dove indicates a major loss that brings with it great change. It represents the cycle of death and rebirth.

Dead rabbit symbolism – I already touched briefly on this symbol but I will repeat it. A dead rabbit is indicative of loss, usually the loss of a family, family member or loved one who is like family. 

Altogether these omens and visions seem to point to a great change. At first I worried it meant the death of a family member, and I suppose it could mean that, but eventually I just let it be. I know from previous sightings of dead doves that this omen indicates an end to a relationship, at least for me. In the past I was forced to let go of someone, so it was a symbolic death. I can’t recall ever seeing a dead rabbit before. As for tidal waves, I’ve had visions of them before but cannot recall a specific incident related to those visions.

From experience I know that trying to prepare myself by going through every possible scenario never works. I have to just wait and see.

Dream Theme: Ants

I’ve also had two dreams recently about ants. The first was on New Years Eve:

Dream: Burning Ant Bed

I was talking to someone about my credits in History and considering just taking 5 more classes to get my Master’s in the subject. I remember talking about how easy writing papers was and how the subject came naturally to me. I recall seeing my daughter’s name spelled two ways in a paper I was reading and pointing it out to her but her being grumpy about it.

Then I was walking through campus and noticed large, modern houses were built pretty much everywhere. A three story white, modern home was in a very odd place, like right on the corner of the sidewalk. I walked a bit talking to someone about the campus when I saw a ant bed near the sidewalk. I decided to set it on fire to kill the ants when a small, black and white puppy came over and stood in the center of the burning ant bed. I watched it, shocked but somewhat curious as to what it was doing. Eventually, noticing its paws were raw and bleeding, I plucked it out of the burning bed and inspected it. It seemed okay but it would need bandages.

I went to the house I had gone past and saw my FB friend Betty. I showed her the puppy and she was like, “Oh dear, the nuns won’t like this.” Then a nun wearing all white came by and Betty gave her the puppy to treat. I walked away, worried I would be asked lots of questions. I felt guilty for letting the poor pup burn and for setting the fire. I walked past Betty’s husband and told him my worries and then woke up.

Interpretation: History class symbolizes a life lesson that I am discussing. Perhaps the lesson relates to my own karma? I seem to feel fine about completing a degree in it, confident that I can do it. When I woke my first thought about it was that I am starting to feel better about my ability to complete karmic contracts in this lifetime. Since my daughter’s name comes up, it could be that I am considering my children and my karma with them and their father. My guess is the 5 classes could be a time period of 5 years or maybe just 5 more incidents or milestones that must be reached.

Ants in general symbolize hard work. A whole colony of ants is likely accomplishments made with one’s group or team. An ant colony can symbolize startling changes that are occurring in my life. Because I am burning the colony it could mean that I am attempting to destroy or end relationships. The puppy might represent someone in my life who is young and growing who I want to protect. I see the puppy being burned. Eventually I save it but feel guilty because I didn’t save it sooner and so it is wounded. I’m not sure what the nun means but it could be that I give up control to a higher power.

Dream: Drowning Ants

In the second dream I was outside watching a family playing with a water hose in their backyard. The dad was spraying the kids and they were enjoying getting wet. Then I walked over to the edge of the yard where I saw an ant bed. It had been drenched with water. I took a stick and began to push into the ant bed, tearing it apart to look inside. The ants were waterlogged and desperately clung to my stick. I saw them and marveled at them just like I did as a child.

Interpretation: Ants are about teamwork, hard work, creating something through cooperation. Ant beds must be about community or family or the Collective. Water doesn’t typically kill ants, it just slows them down. Water is symbolic of emotion usually. I am using a stick to look at the ants like I did as a child. It is as if I am observing how “emotion” effects the group. I’m not sure which group but it is, likely “Family” because I had been watching a family play with a water hose. 

Nothingness

In addition to all of the above, I have been feeling this strange feeling of being in between life cycles. It is the open feeling, like I am waiting to be shown the next step. Where earlier in the Fall months I was feeling ready to make drastic life changes and considering doing so, now I feel as if I need nothing at all. It isn’t necessarily a peaceful feeling but more a feeling of nothingness, as if I an drifting in a void. Where I am usually seeking a glimpse of future available paths, now there is no seeking beyond the present. I don’t seem to care. It isn’t apathy, either, it is…..nothingness.

To be honest, the feeling is not one I am comfortable with. So last night I attempted to dig within a bit to try and tap into any remaining emotion that might need release. I have a tendency to bury emotion, especially emotions that are overwhelming or difficult to handle, and sometimes the only way to move that emotion up and out is to do a bit of digging. Besides, often, for me at least, no feeling is a symptom of too much feeling.

I was able to contact some emotion, emotion connected to a past event from over 5 years ago now. There was very little emotion remaining but enough to bring some tears. And, of course, I was confronted with what I can only describe as a hole in my heart that when inspected doesn’t reveal anything except emptiness. I am very familiar with it. It seems to be a part of my Being, as if I were born with it. 

Where in the past I would attempt to fill this hole with whatever I could, I have learned that it is pointless. Nothing external will work. In fact, I am not even sure a hole actually exists but is instead a belief most likely compounded by perceived rejection and abandonment by others. 

Mostly I feel ready. For what? I have no idea but I guess that is the point. 

Edit: After I wrote this post I went on my morning walk. Within a minute I found the playing card I had seen some time ago. When I first saw it, it was the 6 of Hearts, but today when I saw it the 6 of Hearts part was completely gone. The weather must have destroyed it. So it was a completely blank playing card and a validation of what I just wrote. I feel “blank”, just like the card.

by

OBE: Black Humvee

I woke at 4am and couldn’t return to sleep. Thoughts were on a recent repetitive message – “2 years” – and a dream where I stated that the end of the world would come on Sept 28, 2025. I was feeling depressed about my life, the lack of meaningful forward movement and had a feeling that time is running out.

OBE: Black Humvee 

Somehow I entered into an OBE. I knew instantly I was OOB. I was inside my grandparent’s underground (subconscious) home in the kitchen (seeking spiritual nourishment), a place I often find myself when OOB. I was facing the front door and decided to go outside. There was interaction taking place with someone but I don’t know who. It was like I was two people – the dreamer and the conscious explorer. 

As I approached the door I thought about how to become more lucid and so I was. When I went outside I tested my dream legs to see if I could fly. There was a strong pull down like gravity and I accepted this as the rules for the experience. 

Just outside the fence was parked a large, black (unknown, hidden) Humvee (hard work). I climbed inside via the passenger side and crawled to the driver’s seat. I knew it was owned by a man who was very strong and intimidating. My intent was to drive it so that this man knew. I was feeling mischievous. I turned the key to the ignition and it roared to life. Looking through the front windshield I saw how high up I was. I thought about driving over everything in front of me but changed my mind. The truck was way to big and I didn’t want to wreck it. I climbed out and went to explore.

Looking to the right of the house everything looked as it did in my memory except there were many young people milling about. Some were hovering in the air. This is when I realized I, too, was hovering and flying about. 

I observed the people. Some were in larger groups and others in pairs – couples. 

I flew past the people toward where the barn should be but instead found a construction site (work in progress). The fences had been remade into wood and were taller. Where the barn was stood a large house. I remember thinking how it would be nice to live there and wondering if I could buy the acre and home from my mother. 

Then my mother was there and she took me into the home. She asked me how I liked the church (spiritual healing, connection) they were building. I was surprised it was a church and knew then I couldn’t buy it as it was meant for many people, not just me and my family. 

Inside the church was made completely of wood that shown that yellowish color of new pine. It also smelled of pine (longevity, recovery). There were stairs and ramps heading up to a platform and behind that another area that my mother told me was where people would be baptized. The ceiling was very tall and the space quite big. I recall feeling peaceful.

Lucid Dream: Erika and Darius 

I came back to my body briefly and then returned but not to the church. Instead I was inside a garage (something is “parked”, lack of movement). My husband and MIL were near and I found a fabric grocery bag full of things on a shelf. It had opened, stale potato chips (loss of health, neglect of physical state) inside and I knew it was my MIL’s. Rather than toss the contents I took it to my husband and told him it was his mother’s and that I didn’t want to throw anything away because of how upset it would make her. The bag smelled of rotting food (decline), though.

My husband was tending to his mom and she was acting frantic and worried, which is normal for her. He was asking me if I would go with them somewhere, me driving a truck and him driving a car. I told him I wouldn’t – couldn’t – and he knew it. He didn’t argue with me, instead saying he would take the Prius (MIL’s car – soul journey) because his mother always kept it full of gas. There was discussion about how the car was having lots of issues and they were becoming more and more severe. The car would not last much longer. I was glad the car would be gone soon as it had been a major headache for me.

My husband handed his mom the grocery bag and she sifted through the contents, pulling out baby food (new nourishment) and exclaiming as if she was opening a present. She was super happy to have the baby food, pulling each container out and showing it to her son. That is when I saw the baby girl and knew the baby food was for this baby. I called the baby “Erika” and I recognized her. I had many feelings at this time. Mostly I felt upset that this baby was coming into the world to be the daughter of my SIL and BIL. I felt a connection to the girl. I didn’t like that I had worked so hard to make her the person she was only to have her come into a new life and forget me and everything we had accomplished together. I also didn’t like that she wouldn’t know me and would instead cling to her new family. 

Similarly, I saw how my MIL was being helped by this baby. She would have renewed purpose, which her life has been lacking for some time. My husband, too, would have purpose but in helping his mother who would struggle more and more with old age (the Prius represents MIL). 

Something about the scene took me back to my grandparent’s land (ancestry) and the young people gathered in groups and pairs. I floated there and watched them and a name came to mind – Darius. I went directly to him, then, shifting immediately into a new scene where I hovered in front of a 10 month old baby. He was chubby, black and super cute. When I saw him I was sad again. I knew him. He was family. There was Knowing that many were incarnating now and it upset me to think of so many loved ones purposefully coming to Earth now, at a very difficult time. There was a part of me that understood and accepted this and my connection to these new Beings but at the same time I was outraged at the injustice of it. It wasn’t fair that they would go through so much pain and hardship. I remember thinking of what was to come and shuddered.

I began to cry and purposefully pulled myself out of the dream scene and back to my body. The transition was smooth and without the typical bumpiness. 

Considerations

It feels like this lucid/OBE experience was meant to show me some things about myself and why I am responding to life the way I am now. There was a strong sense of being two people – the dreamer, or unconscious, version and the conscious version. I was able to see that the memory and Knowing I have as the conscious version is being interpreted and processed by the less conscious version. Thus, my responses in the dream were a mixture of calm, acceptance and outrage.

The Humvee is an interesting dream symbol. Trucks = work, so a Humvee would have a similar meaning but more in terms of the Collective and “war” since Humvees are traditionally used by the military. Black indicates the hidden or unknown, the subconscious or unconscious. So something about this work is unknown and maybe even a bit scary to me. There is a masculine feel to the Humvee as well, which I see as symbolic of what drives this “war” – the masculine and all it represents.

This is the second time now that I have associated my mother with a church. Perhaps I am reminding myself that the feminine should be honored at this time. I retreat to the feeling that comes with being inside the church. It brings me peace. And even though the church is “under construction” it already serves a purpose, indicating that once complete it will have much more of an impact on everyone.

Other Thoughts

Lately my mind has been on the future quite a bit. I can’t seem to shake the premonitions I had so many years ago when I first awakened and was flooded with visions and Knowing. One such vivid vision was of the White House on fire – bombed. I still see it so vividly. Also very vivid in my mind is seeing Fort Hood, Texas as a rubble field, also bombed.

I know that the future is not set in stone and for a long while I pushed aside my early visions as just a “potential” future, denying they could ever happen in my lifetime. Now I am not so sure. I keep having flashes of “what if’s”, which are not necessarily premonitions, but instead a mixture of what could be and my own fears or dread of them happening.

For example, I feel (and fear) that no matter who becomes President, the US economy is headed for a complete collapse. If this happens so many possibilities exist. The divide between the haves and have not’s is already widening. If it continues Civil War could result. Yet I have had previous visions also of the US being attacked by an outside force. What that force is – another country, a terrorist group, or just forces of Darkness in general, is unknown.

Despite all these worries, at my core I am exceptionally calm about it all. I have always been told by my guidance that I will be safe and need not worry about myself and my family. There is also a deep understanding I cannot put words to that indicate every.single.thing that is and will happen has a higher purpose.

About a month ago I actually wrote a post that I never posted about how everyone on Earth right now is being polarized. I opted not to post it because I know that it likely won’t make a difference in how people are reacting to what is transpiring in this world right now. And that is OK. The only person I have any control over is myself and I choose to NOT react, but to observe.

How do you not react to everything? React doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings or thoughts. Let yourself feel. Let yourself have an opinion. It is OK. You are only human. I have an internal dialogue that I let play out when I get overwhelmed and upset over things. I just don’t verbalize it or share it with anyone because it won’t help matters. In fact, it will serve only to further polarize things. In the end, the dialogue always shifts away from the upset and back to my Knowing and acceptance of what is.

Hopefully, my honesty about my previous premonitions and fears doesn’t trigger anyone. If it does, I am sorry as that was/is not my intent. I hope my sharing assists in a better understanding of how I perceive this unique time in human history and that is all.

by

Perceptions of 2019

Happy New Year’s Eve – and New Year, too! How are you feeling about leaving 2018 behind and entering 2019? What goals, plans, ideas, and manifestations do you have for the coming year?

I feel very neutral about moving into a new year. 2018 was a good year for me overall. MUCH better than 2017! And actually, I often do not think of time in years these days. January 1st will likely feel like any other day, the only difference is that I will have to learn to write “2019” as the date.

I haven’t thought much about goals, plans, ideas and things I would like to manifest for the coming year. I’m not much of a goal-setter in general. I kinda go with the flow. Then, when what I want comes to me, I usually just do it/get it. It’s probably wise to at least write out some goals but I struggle with articulating exactly what I want. A dream board would probably be a good idea but I am not feeling very motivated toward that end right now.

It’s easier for me to count my blessings and smile at the gifts I have been given. So that is my main intention for this new year – to be more thankful and focus on the things in life that are right rather than always on the wrong. For example, this morning my youngest came and snuggled up to me in bed. I could feel his tiny fingers, toes, knees and elbows nudging me and it reminded me of when he was in my tummy doing the exact same thing. Awww! The love and gifts of a child! Nothing is more precious in this world. And to think my youngest will be 5 this year! Wow. So I am grateful he is still small enough to snuggle and curl up in my arms, and he is SO good at giving snuggles.

This morning my guidance asked me, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” They have done this before and I wonder what the point of the whole exercise is considering I am nowhere near where I thought I would be 10 years ago. Never could I have foreseen the amazing transformations, twists and turns my life would take in that time period. The most I can hope for is that each of my children is healthy, happy, and successful, reaching their goals and working through problems, experiencing growth and change without succumbing to loss. I look forward to watching them transform into their independent, unique selves. Hopefully I am able to step back and let them fall despite wanting to save them all the time.

I have little consideration for myself for the next ten years. I suspect my spiritual acceleration will continue to ebb and flow along the way, teaching me lessons and acting like a companion book to this physical existence. My biggest hope is that I get my greatest desires fulfilled. I will leave the “how” of that to the Universe as I never seem to get it right when left to my own devices! lol My greatest desires are to feel at Home here on Earth, to connect with others at the Divine/heart level without destroying myself in the process, to love myself in this body and as this person, and to be in a Divine partnership where I can be truly vulnerable and open with another both energetically and physically. Some of these goals are likely to not come to fruition within the year but I can hope. 🙂

As you can see, I didn’t list out anything that I want from this physical universe. I honestly don’t have any specific desires other than to be given what I need. Maybe that is short-sighted but in this lifetime I have found the physical universe very generous.

Perceptions of 2019

My sense and impressions of this coming year are varied. If it were a weather forecast I would say, “Cloudy for the first few months with a chance of lightning (change) and howling winds (I wrote ‘wings’ initially instead of ‘winds’).” To me, this forecast represents a clearing of that which is unseen and has up to this point lay dormant deep in the subconscious. It is more universal clearing than individual, so don’t fixate on what surfaces or try to own it. Just let it go and breathe through it. The lightning here is energetic for those of us who can experience such things. And the winds bring information/Knowing that can no longer be avoided. It “howls” because it has been denied so long. Imagine a dog howling and lonely. The “wings” part feels like guidance to me. Ask for it when you need it.

As summer approaches the weather will turn “Sunny with prevailing winds and rains that bring about massive flooding with undercurrents of depression and shame.”  I see a shift in gears – many will experience 180° turns in areas of personal relationship and finance. Rather than being unexpected, these turns will be more premeditated, though the less aware will feel these changes forced upon them. It’s possible that some will even feel side-swiped. Also, by this time many souls will have departed the Earth plane to return again in new bodies in order to help with the ascension. In fact, this departure has already begun.

By Fall the weather will be “mild, eerily quiet and deceptively stagnant” compared to earlier in the year. In contrast, physical world weather will be ramping up. I would not be surprised if there were more natural disasters at this time. Overall, though, the undercurrent of spiritual change will be nearly invisible, but do not be deceived by the lack of activity. Much will be going on under the surface. For some of us, there will be “rising tides” that will be very obvious and we will need to ride them to fruition or be suffocated by them. I see “crimson skies” indicative of a sunrise or sunset, though I cannot tell which. Either way the vision points to the cycles of death and rebirth and the life giving warmth of the sun. A message comes through as a reminder – “This too will pass”. Nothing is permanent, though it may seem to be.

Winter will be similar to Fall with a few “undercurrents of frigidness and deception prevalent.” There will be breaks of “rainbows and sunshine” between these darker periods, allowing us to recover and heal. I am sensing a world-scale event possible, but I am not allowed to see it clearly at this time.

It looks like 2019 is going to be quite a year! It feels like a turning point in a way. A “final step” with 2020 being the “year of the seer” (2020 vision – seer – see-er).

Happy New Year!