This morning I transitioned from the dreamstate into the in-between. A tunnel appeared before me and within it a vision of a beautiful mountain lake. Everything had a purple/pink cast to it. The lake itself was indigo with purple and pink highlights. The sky mirrored this. The mountains were not towering high like the Rockies but subtler with varying shades of greenery. It was a peaceful, beautiful scene. I felt myself pulled into this window but my awareness peaked and so I did not go OOB.
Before I was pulled into full, waking consciousness, I found myself standing on the shore of this lake with a humanoid Being who felt very masculine to me. He towered above me, though, a good two or more feet. His form was very human-like, with broad shoulders, two arms, two legs, hands, feet and a head, but his arms were much longer than a human’s would be in proportion to his body and his head had no hair and appeared more rounded.
We stood and talked for a while. I took his hand and told him I wanted to go Home, that I disliked this human disconnect and empty feeling. I longed for the connection of Home – the love and deep friendship and peace that came with it. He acknowledged me and explained that I was here to learn, which I know already, but his explanation was more accepted than previous ones I have gotten. I understand now why I am here with more depth than ever before. It is a feeling I feel in my core and it always arises when my purpose is explored or questioned.
This masculine presence explained to me that the human experience was unique and valuable, far beyond experiences in other realities and in other bodies. This came after I requested to change bodies, to get out of this human one. I seemed to remember the freedom innate in other forms and it contrasted greatly with the human form.
Timestreams were then discussed. It was explained that though we exist in multiple dimensions simultaneously, the human Timestream is separate from the other Timestreams (his wording not mine). I saw the Timestreams. They looked like colored waves of water or streamers floating or vibrating to their own rhythm and time. Most of the colors I saw resembled the lake vision in color – purple, blue, pink. This separateness is only present in our awareness here. When we extract ourselves from the human awareness we then can travel amidst all Timestreams and select ones we wish to experience at will.
Infinity was explored as well, or Remembered is a better word. As was perfection and the paradox of being perfect Beings attempting to perfect our reaction (experiences in) to the finite, which is impossible but achievable at the same time. It seemed as though our task/purpose as infinite Beings is to attempt to create perfection out of the imperfect. The feat seems insurmountable but within I found complete understanding and acceptance. It is not the end result that is important but the path we travel to get to an end that will never come. We are Builders and Creators but destruction is inherent in the process and all results are honored for their exquisiteness as if a dessert whose every bite is savored and relished.
I was then reminded of the vision I had yesterday. I saw the Earth going dark six times, one after the other. At the time I assumed the darkness was created by a great event like an eclipse. This morning, though, I realized it was likely much simpler than that. The darkness comes every night. What I was seeing was the passage of day into night six times. So the passing of six days. The lesson was that I need to take what I am shown at face value rather than looking for some deeper meaning.
The Experiencer and the Observer
A realization I’ve been having of late has been that I am experiencing this life now in two ways simultaneously. Life is viewed/experienced both as the Experiencer and the Observer. The Experiencer is familiar because that has been the viewpoint I have taken for the majority of this lifetime. Now, however, I am aware of the Observer as a constant. I am both Experiencer and Observer and recognize the purpose of both within this human experience.
The Observer viewpoint wants only to sit back and let the Experiencer experience life. She does not wish to interfere in the daily on-goings, actions and words, routines and challenges. Her job is similar to that of a scientist who is observing a closed experiment. She jots down observations, draws conclusions and makes hypotheses. Her viewpoint is objective.
The Experiencer is human and very reactive. She is suppose to react. Her job is to play her role and provide data to the Observer for improvement in the greater game. Her viewpoint is subjective.
Being able to view my life as both, simultaneously, is strange in a sense but perfectly normal at the same time. I have been doing this the entire time but was not aware of the Objective side except occasionally through glimpses here and there.
The Objective me has been with this body the whole time. I am aware of myself as this aspect. Fully. She is patient, focused, results-oriented and detailed. She makes adjustments to the experiement that then trickle down to the Experiencer as alterations in the path. Some are major, most are minor.
Currently, as the Experiencer, I am now able to identify the feelings and intuitions I have long had in this life as my “instructions” from the Observer. Before, the identification of these intuitions were lost on me resulting in mostly confusion and tantrums/resistance/impatience. For example, currently I feel as if in a void, and though I wish to take action I feel unmotivated toward any considered changes. There are often feelings of upset, irritation and impatience surfacing as a result. The Objective me understands the void feeling as an instruction to “take no new action” and “continue on course”. This Objective side learns a great deal from these periods and makes adjustments accordingly when learning plateaus.
As a result of this perception shift there is an increase of acceptance and balance within. I always thought the goal was to be the Observer but am learning this is only partially true. The Observer has its part to play as does the Experiencer. We are partners.
Not sure why I was thinking in Spanish but it made me smile.
Sorry I have once again been silent. Life has me moving and shaking more than usual. My daughter’s birthday is today. She is 10 years old. Can’t believe it has been a decade since her birth already. Time really does speed up as you get older. Before I know it I will be a grandmother wondering when my kids grew up.
In the period of time since my last post we have been all going through a “growth period”. These periods consist mostly of being tossed full-on back into life, the physical and all that goes with it. The spiritual is there but it seems silent in contrast to the goings-on around us. At times one might wonder during these periods if they have been forgotten by their guidance but I assure you, you have not. It is merely a period of transition; a time to perform and perfect what you have previously learned.
Everyone goes through these spiritual growth periods. No one is immune.
For me, personally, I have been noticing some minor ascension “flu” symptoms, or perhaps it is just allergies, a side-effect of living in Central Texas. 🙂 Every morning for a while now when I wake up I experience an hour or more of runny eyes, coughing and clearing my lungs, runny nose and massive amounts of sweating. After I do my morning yoga practice and get on with my day most of my symptoms vanish with the exception of my runny nose which is on and off throughout the day.
I am also sleeping very heavily and dream recall, though present, does not extend beyond my yoga practice either. My intention is to write out my dreams but once I sit down at the computer my dream memories just aren’t available anymore….and I don’t care one bit.
Another odd occurrence related to memory is I often forget what I am about to do while in the midst of doing it. It is like I leave my body, go on a trip somewhere, and then return and am unable to recall what I was doing before I ventured off. This is not abnormal. I’ve been experiencing something akin to this on and off since I had children, but these instances are different. In the past it was more of a forgetfulness. When I realized I had forgotten something the location and retrieval of what was forgotten took seconds, 30 seconds to a minute at most. This forgetfulness is like I black-out without loss of perception. It is very similar to the episodes I’ve had where I wake from a dream and am unable to get a grip on the reality that I wake up in. Thankfully, there is no panic related to these episodes. I eventually (sometimes a half hour later) recall what it was I was intending to do. lol Usually, it is not a big issue but it happens enough that I am wondering where it is I am going to incur such a disassociation from this reality.
Nothing Really Matters
I continue to have moments in which I am the Observer of myself in this life. During these periods I am being instructed by my guidance, though I do not “hear” a voice or have any memory of internal conversations. There is just an awareness of my on-going lessons.
One such lesson has been on non-attachment, and I wrote briefly about it in my other blog. This lesson came to my human mind as a song at first but I immediately recognized it was not as it seemed. In fact, those last words – “not as it seemed” – is another lesson I am currently learning but I won’t go into that now.
The song was, of course, Bohemian Rhapsody, one of my all-time favorites. The part, “Nothing really matters, nothing really matters, to me.”
I have long had this part of the song come to mind in my life. In the past I viewed it in the negative. It often led to “poor me” thoughts about life and how nothing I did made any difference. Eventually I would think, “What’s the point?” and go into apathy over life in general. In terms of human experience this is normal. It’s the Ego throwing one of it’s tantrums.
This time, however, it brought on memory of my origins; specifically of my most recent embodiment experience when I was One with Source, with my “Higher” Self. This put an entirely new spin on the “nothing really matters” thought/statement. The feeling of nothingness I experienced during embodiment matched up with the statement perfectly. I understood – still understand – that the statement encapsulated that experience.
It is non-attachment to outcome. It doesn’t mean one gives up. There is no despair or apathy. In fact, it is full of possibility but possibility without attachment to a particular path.
It is ALL that IS and it is beautiful, sublime and beyond imagination or limitation.
It can also be looked at this way……
The scientific definition of “Matter” – That which occupies space and has mass; physical substance.
Ahhh! Then it is even clearer, isn’t it?
But back to the subject of non-attachment……A Facebook friend asked me this morning what the difference between non-attachment and detachment was. I explained via a link. It may be helpful to you all as well, so I will share the link it here. Non-attachment is the “nothing really matters” statement without all the human and Ego-related analytical tendencies attached – hehe “attached”.
Living life, experiencing this physical experience, as I am now is so different from what it was prior to February, prior to the embodiment and transformation that ensued. My “growth period” this time around is incorporating what I experienced during those three+ weeks of wonderful connectedness……of holding – Being – Divine Presence……into this very human, dense and forgetful, time-infused illusion.
The illusion appears to me so vividly, right in front of my “eyes”, creating a strong disconnect with everyone and everything here in the physical. I see what I have not seen before, am aware in ways my human consciousness could never be. Yet at the same time I must somehow express mySelf through this illusion, incorporate into it, without being lost to it.
The challenge, then, is to balance the two – my reality with this reality. That has always been the challenge, only now I really see. Two realities, superimposed. Beyond that, multiple realities superimposed, spiraling for infinity and all at my disposal.
If all of what I just wrote goes over your head don’t fret. I – this Beingness of mine in this physical reality – have changed and have no other method of expressing that change except through words, which are grossly inadequate for such purposes.
I was traveling to Montana (higher realms of consciousness) to meet up with my ex-husband (masculine aspect) for a long overdue reunion. When I arrived there was a parade (sidetracked from achieving goals) in the middle of the road. A man stopped and told me to avoid the right side of the road because that was for the teachers (guidance). I told him, “I am a teacher, just not in Montana”.
Then my ex-husband (masculine aspect) met up with me and went to visit his parents (merging of masculine and feminine). When we arrived the exterior of the house was being renovated (transformation of self).
Inside it was dark. In the kitchen someone had been repairing the microwave (quick thinking/action). I quickly found a bedroom and tried to nap (avoiding awareness). My ex came in and woke me and told me his parents were home.
Their old dog (protection/loyalty) was the first thing I saw when I got out of the bed. He looked on his last leg and my ex’s mom told me they were looking for someone to take over for the dog’s upcoming death. She gave it a name like “death march” or similar.
My father-in-law came in and I was shocked to see how old he was. He also looked near death. He could barely walk, his face was gray and gaunt and his hair all but gone. I remember looking out at the back yard and noting also that there were now tall trees (growth) where there had been none before.
I went outside with my FIL and we entered a small room that was just his, like a man-cave. Inside, I watched my FIL as he fiddled with a huge, metal box reminiscent of a box one would see for ammo during one of the world wars. He began to talk to me about his upcoming death, mentioning how he wanted me to safeguard his transition.
Something that really caught my attention was that he kept quoting a poem. I don’t remember the words now but he said more than once that it was a written by “Keats”.
After he recited the poem one last time I felt the seriousness of the situation and realized he was about to in fact die and very soon. I went up to him and gave him a hug, wrapping my arms around his broad, fragile shoulders. All at once I was overcome and began to cry in heaving sobs. The love was so overpowering that I could not contain it.
I woke up crying.
I believe this was the poem he was reciting in the dream:
On Death
Can death be sleep, when life is but a dream, And scenes of bliss pass as a phantom by? The transient pleasures as a vision seem, And yet we think the greatest pain’s to die.
How strange it is that man on earth should roam, And lead a life of woe, but not forsake His rugged path; nor dare he view alone His future doom which is but to awake.
When I awoke I assumed the dream was a message about my ex-FIL. I figured he must be sick or dying, or at the very least getting very old. I thought, “He is the same age as my mom – 69. That isn’t very old.” But my tears convinced me I must be clearing my own past and my own feelings of guilt towards my ex’s parents.
Dream: The Replacement
Much to my surprise, I returned to sleep quite easily.
I walked up toward a city park lined with neatly trimmed hedges (obstacles in path). A man was with me and departed to my left, bidding me farewell. On my right was a man, standing alone and looking forlorn as he gazed off into the distance. I knew upon seeing him that he was “the replacement” for the man who just departed. My immediate response was to go to him and assist him however I could.
I climbed over a hedge and stood next to him. He was still staring off into the distance. I took his hand and said something positive to him. His response was to answer in a dull tone and continue to stare. I noticed we were standing on a circular (completion) walking track (life track, path) in the park. I said, “Why don’t you go for a run?” He said nothing so I took his hand in mine and said, “I’ll go with you!”
I led him forward gently and he responded by following. I picked up the pace and we ran, side-by-side, along the track together. I said, “See! Isn’t this nice?” He said nothing, continuing to stare as if in shock.
Eventually we cut across a field full of briars (past trauma) and tall grass (balance/protection). I stumbled and lost his hand. Stopping I said, “I shouldn’t be running in flip flops (relaxed state or lack of commitment)!” Laughing, I put on my flip flop with help from a woman and her grown daughter. We began talking and walked together back to the car.
We passed a car, a Honda CRX, which seats only two. I commented on how awesome the little cars were, getting 42mpg (path of Wholeness is more efficient).
We all climbed into another car – me, the man and the mother and daughter. The mother and I discussed the job prospects of her daughter and asked if I had difficulty getting work. I said no because I was in education. The daughter was in business (rational/logical) and I remember feeling sorry for her for being in the line of work. I also thought the mother must think I was her daughter’s age and was curious as to why. Did I look so young to her?
As we drove on the highway it became apparent that the man, who was driving, was “under the influence” of some “drug”. He began to fall asleep and was talking to someone in his head. Noticing I tried to wake him up as the car veered toward the right (conscious action). Thankfully we just ended up on an exit ramp.
The car stopped and I said, “You obviously can’t drive in your condition.” I got out and wandered up the road a bit to a construction site looking for food. It turned out the construction site looked like the set of a movie or play. I found a large tortilla (wholeness) and took it back to the car offering it to the others.
Inside the car we and the other woman discussed how we would all get home (Home). It was decided that I would drive myself home. Then the mother and daughter would drive themselves home. The man would be left alone to drive himself home. I remember saying, “He will just have to manage it somehow.”
As we departed, we took a left (passivity/subconsious) turn across many lanes of traffic. I remember saying, “Good thing it’s not a one-way street!”
I began to talk to the man, now in the back seat. He allowed me into his “dream”. In the dream we were both underwater (overcome with emotion) aboard a large, wooden ship (emotions/subconscious) that reminded me of a pirate ship. The ship was sailing along freely. Then the man threw out an anchor and the ship stopped and floated upward but not all the way to the surface. I realized he was showing me a representation of his life not in a body (free) and in a body (anchored).
We then boarded his “ship” and went directly to the kitchen (transformation). It looked like a modern kitchen and I remarked that one of his cabinets was warped (secrets).
I awoke suddenly with full awareness of the true meaning behind both dreams.
Message
The Divine Masculine and the masculine in general is part of the upcoming “critical juncture” I was recently warned about. The masculine is undergoing – or will be – a massive death/rebirth. This is not the typical death process, for we undergo many within a lifetime. This is an overhaul, a “replacing” of the “old” with the “new”.
If you pay attention to both dreams the symbolism is obvious. The old man and father figure is the “old” masculine. He is preparing for death but the poem indicates that it is more than a death, it is an “awakening”. In the second dream I actually witness the masculine departing and his replacement standing alone seemingly confused and distant. Then I guide him along his path, encouraging him the whole time. This suggests the path of the feminine is to lead the way for the masculine which makes sense because all the focus has, up to this point, been on the “return of the Divine Feminine”. Since we have already undergone the death/rebirth process then it is up to us to help the masculine in his death/rebirth process.
My last post in which I discuss a mini-OBE with my “partner” also points to the “critical juncture” being all about the masculine. It was made clear to me that my inability to move forward was because my masculine side was “stepping on my toes”, which symbolically means interrupting/blocking my path (toes). It was suggested that I be patient with the process and “play” with and “nurture” my masculine side (the boy in my dream).
The message made me smile in awe of the way it was brought to me and how my dreams have shifted since my own transformative “event”. My tendency is to view my dreams as “all about me” but in this instance I recognized how now my dreams are all about collective humanity. My inner-expansion has resulted in an outer-expansion.
Similarly, I was able to see how the imbalance of the masculine (collectively) is directly linked to the inability of the feminine to “act”. We have been “stuck” for some time, unable to act or move forward on our collective missions. My personal experience confirms this. I have felt “ready” for some time but my motivation is nil. Sometimes I will be hit with an urge and begin to act only to find myself losing momentum quickly and retreating.
Within ourselves there is also a transformation occurring. The masculine side/aspect must be redeemed. There is healing along these lines and as a result physical symptoms may persist until the healing completes. Most symptoms will be related to the lower chakras but will vary by individual. For me, I have been wracked with seemingly unrelated symptoms the past three days alone.
At first it was just minor issues – achy joints and skin ailments. But yesterday I woke with a sore throat that resolved within minutes of waking. Then came minor gastrointestinal upset. I did one hour of yoga which seemed to help. Feeling better, I went on an easy run/jog. When I returned home I was violently ill within 5 minutes only to have the illness vanish after a total body “purge”.
So men, it’s your turn. Get ready. We (the Divine Feminine) are here to support you but we cannot DO it for you.
Note from me – Please get your shit together so I can stop being sick….LOL Just kidding. I do recognize it is MY SHIT, too.
Sharing from my main page. Each video is available for only 48 hours. If you sign-up now you can watch yesterday’s talk. It is completely FREE, so take advantage!!
Don’t miss out on this free opportunity! Speakers for first 20 days in the month of May. Each talk is available for only 48 hours after it’s air date. If you sign up today you can still access yesterday’s.
Lots to share so I hope you’re all ready for a long post…. 🙂
First off, this full moon has me in hyper-drive. I have gone from uninterrupted, deep sleep, to struggling to fall asleep, waking really early (3am!) and then being unable to return to sleep.
To top it all off, my joints are achy and stiff, specifically my knees and elbows. My stomach feels like it has a log in it and I have poison ivy and now more acne issues. But hey, the perpetual crick in my neck is gone so I’m not complaining. lol
Frustrated, I asked last night for some intel – Hey, what’s going on and why am I not in on it?
Ask and you shall receive….
Dream
The dream began with me in the car (life path) with my husband. He was driving (masculine/logic in control) and in the middle lane stopped at a light. He realized that he needed to turn right (feminine/intuitive perspective) so moved the car sideways toward the right lane to turn only he couldn’t move because we were stopped at the light. When the traffic began to move he got stuck because everyone drove around him. I told him, “Just keep going straight, we can turn right up the road.” He stalled and I said, “If you don’t want to drive, I can…” So he shifted gears and went straight. I said, “Look for a large jail, the turn is right after.” We did see a large building on the right but it was not a jail. Confused I said, “Just turn up there.” So he turned right at the intersection.
The dream shifted and I was getting out of the car and heading into a building where a gathering was to take place. I remember being self-conscious because I had a large scab (healing process) on my left (masculine) cheek (intimacy or commitment) that I kept picking at (interfering with healing). It was about the size of a peanut. I picked thinking the scab was ready to come off but it bled a ton and I had to put tissue on it to get it to stop.
I went inside knowing I had no makeup to cover it up. Thankfully it was low light inside, like a bar setting. Several others were seated at the bar (feeling barred from something) when I sat down and a “bartender” was behind the bar (I’m creating the barrier). My friend Aryn came and sat down on my left and began to chatter away happily, wanting to catch up. I said to her, “Not now. I look like crap.” She stopped talking and I moved my hair over the scab on my face to hide it. I looked around at the others – there were only four – and the lady behind the bar mentioned it was almost time to start. I said, “Then no one else is coming? Good! I prefer it that way.” One of the other ladies said, “I’m sure the others will be here shortly.”
I walked over to the side where the meeting would be held and a man with orange-red hair came out of a door. Seeing him stopped me in my tracks. For some reason he stood out like a beacon in the darkness. He said to all of us, “Everyone grab a card and have a seat in the circle.” I looked over and saw oversized tarot cards with gold embellishments flash like a movie in my mind. The cards seemed to have images of people on them, people from ancient times.
I turned back to the man and said, “Ian. I know you. We have met before, haven’t we?” He smiled and I saw how odd his red hair was. It was like someone had cut his hair in a mullet but the top, shorter portion, was bowl-shaped and the bottom portion fanned out underneath touching his shoulders. He smiled a friendly smile and said, “Yes. We’ve met before. About two years ago now.” I said, “It’s been a long time, then.” He nodded and I felt somewhat uncomfortable, like I should have seen more of him but hadn’t.
I looked in my purse and noticed I had left my phone (communication/connection) in the car so went back to fetch it while the group waited for the others to arrive. I also hoped to look in the car mirror to reassure myself that I didn’t look as bad as I thought.
Inside the car as I was retrieving my phone a woman with brown hair popped in and said hi, calling me by the wrong name. I said, “My name is Dayna.” She said hi again and as I was about to ask her name she left. I remember recognizing her but was not sure how I knew her and this confused my dream self.
As I walked back inside I saw the sky was painted in purple (devotion, love, kindness, compassion). The clouds were also purple and dotted the skyline. My breath was taken away by the beauty of it. Another person mentioned it was not a good sign, like a storm was coming. I said, “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
The visuals woke me up and I was still face down, my neck feeling a bit stiff from the position I was laying in. I felt the familiar buzzing vibrations and warmth of my guidance/partner and smiled, rolled over and attempted to return to sleep.
Visions
I was greeted with several visions or mini-dreams. In one I was walking along and looked down at a tiny, toy car – a red sports car. It brought me out of my reverie very quickly and I noted the vision. Seeing the car as so tiny and toy-like was a message about perspective.
In another vision I was inside what looked like an oversized birdcage (loss of freedom). My legs were scrunched up against my stomach and my arms wrapped around them. The bars were distinct and the meaning obvious. The message was that I was like a caged bird and I needed to free myself.
Mini-OBEs
Somehow I managed to return to sleep. In this particular ‘episode’ I was in a room with a couple who had a son. They looked Indian and were wearing Indian clothing, the woman especially beautiful in her flowing gown. I was inside a giant, clawfoot bathtub (self-renewal) and their son was standing outside of it talking to me. He wanted a cup of tea (life satisfaction/contentment). I had a kettle and poured him a cup of Chamomile (patience) tea but he wouldn’t take it. I set it down and said, “It’s Chamomile so it will make you sleepy…..You don’t want it? That’s okay. You don’t have to drink it. ” I set the cup down and realized the bathtub I was in was filled to the top with tea and I was bathing in it.
I smiled and the boy playfully began to push the bathtub to make it rock. It almost fell over but then stabilized. His parents had concerned looks but I reassured them we were just playing.
I watched the couple for a while. They looked so beautiful and connected in each other’s arms. I was a tad bit jealous, wanting what they had. That’s when I noticed I was completely naked inside the tub filled with tea. I stood up as I spoke to them and let them see my nakedness (accepting of myself, lack of shame).
The scene shifted and I was inside a home in the kitchen (transformation is about to take place) talking to someone. I don’t recall much of our conversation now but I remember him. He looked familiar but I’m not sure how or from where I knew him. He was tall, broad shouldered and had sandy blonde, thick hair. His face was a bit rugged looking like he had acne in his younger years. His voice was deep and familiar and reminded me of that of a good ol’ boy – typical Texas accent. Our interaction was friendly, like we knew each other well.
I went up to him to try and get his attention and he ignored me, busy doing something. I can’t recall what I was trying to talk to him about but his rebuttal was not mean and I playfully remarked that he was purposefully ignoring me. His eyes stayed focused on what he was doing. My memory only shows something mechanical but what, I cannot say.
At some point I recognized I was OOB and could explore, so I shifted out of my dream body and attempted to fly away. The free feeling was exhilarating! The response back was immediate and without words. It said, “You know better than that.” I was sucked right back into my body but bypassed the typical blackout and went directly back into the kitchen scene. I remember not caring and understanding that I needed to stay where I was, but that didn’t keep me from trying again.
This time, however, I did not attempt to take control of the “dream”/experience I was having. Instead I let myself stabilize in the scene and played along with it. The feeling here was that I “controlled” the playful side, pulling her “into” me and thus becoming both her and me at the same time.
I once again went up to my male friend. This time he was standing in the middle of the room looking away from me. I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward me into a hug. He seemed to be playing hard to get. It felt like we knew each other well and we were being playful. He continued to look away from me, pretending to ignore me. I was pressed up against him and said something indicating I wanted to dance (freedom, balance, harmony). He responded by stepping on my foot. I said, “So you’re going to step on my foot?” He said, “You know it.” We both laughed and then danced awkwardly for a bit, playing around, his foot continuing to get in the way of mine (my masculine side is slowing me down, getting in my way).
For some reason we stopped and stood there holding each other, face to face. I wasted no time. grabbed his mouth and kissed him. I could feel the sensation of his lips on mine as well as his arms wrapped around me and his body next to mine. It was so real and solid. Our kiss was like a half-French kiss, not full tongue but a little here and there. It was nice and familiar, like we had kissed a million times.
Sadly, the second kiss and the very physical sensations that went with it brought me out of the experience. Not long after I woke, I noticed a pain in my tailbone radiating through to my perineum. It was uncomfortable enough to keep me from returning to sleep.
Messages
As I lingered in bed the pain subsided. I suspect my root chakra had activated and some major blockage was clearing.
My partner/guide was close and I knew he was the man in my dream. I asked him why he looked different every time. I have asked this many times before. He said, “I have many faces, as do you.” I have gotten this answer every time but this time I understood what he meant because I have experienced it. We are One but the concept of Oneness is difficult for humans to understand. Human conceptualization of Oneness is a futile attempt at understanding something that cannot be understood from a position of separation. It takes Being it to understand it.
With this I told my partner how I would explain it to others. He complimented me on my ability to put into words something so few can. Of course, I can’t recall what I said now. lol I remember the visuals in my mind, though. I saw humans and how we try to put everything on a timeline, thus we see before and after; past, present and future. Events are all separate and occuring in an orderly fashion. In Spirit, none of this exists. Before/after – past, present, future – they are all NOW. The experience of NOW via human perception would seem very chaotic and jumbled; senseless.
Similarly, people we encounter after we drop these human bodies and corresponding identities are all NOW, too. Thus, your father who passed before you would be familiar as your father in your most recent incarnation but you would also know him as all his past, present and future personalities as well, which are endless. His face may look as it did initially but the more you leave behind Time, the more your perception would change until all you see in him is You. The difference in perception comes with attachment (emotional/karmic). As you release the human tendency toward attachment you embrace your Infinite Self, thus recognizing your Oneness with All that Is.
I laughed as I considered my personality in this lifetime as a “child” of mine, one that I dote upon. For the first time in this lifetime, after years of being referred to my “partner” in Spirit as a “child”, I understood what it meant.
As I write this I recall part of my conversation with the man in my OBE. He said to me, “Be good”, which I have heard from him countless times and never quite understood. In the experience with him I recognized what he meant was in reference to an aspect or part of my personality I consider “good”. It’s the part of me that seeks to please others and is compliant and pleasant. She is happy-go-lucky, go-with-the-flow, innocent but not naive. I recognized her response within me to his request and then she “partitioned off” and become a separate identity. Yet I was still her and felt to be her. So there I was standing and watching this part of me come out of me, standing in front of us smiling. She was me and I her but she also had her own identity, separate and independent but cooperative and understanding of our connection and Oneness.
Imagine that, just multiplied by infinity. Then meet one of yourself and say hi. That was the person on the street you greeted with a smile. That was the man who accidentally cut you off in traffic and who you rudely honked your horn at and cussed out. That is your mom who you love with all your heart but wish would leave you alone. That is your son. Your daughter. Your worst enemy. Your best friend.
Yep. All you.
I am reminded now of the vision of the tiny car. Cars = life path. They represent us as individuals. It being super tiny indicates that I am being asked to take a larger view of my path and life, to see just how tiny I am in comparison to it all. This perspective is needed now.
Critical Intersection Ahead
There was a message I forgot to mention. I remember hearing that a critical intersection was approaching and I was being prepared for it. Not everyone has reached this intersection. It was made clear that I am not to make those not yet at this juncture “wrong” for seemingly being “behind” because they are not behind but exactly where they should be. I understood but wanted to mention it nonetheless in case those of you reading who are also at this juncture, or perhaps way beyond it, find yourself falling victim to the “us vs. them” mentality. We are all equal in this race. There are no winners or losers. We all cross the finish line at different times but we are only victorious when the last runner crosses the finish line and not a moment before that.
Embodiment and Higher Self Confusion
It was also reiterated to me that I need to do my part and I said, “Of course. Anything. What do I do?” Though not directly stated, I was reminded of a visual representation I received not long ago about the Embodiment (soul transfer/soul exchange/walk-in) process. Then I heard the term, “Higher-Self Confusion”. I was shown how this is part of the process and that just because you have embodied your HS does not mean you somehow become flawless, perfect and without human Ego. It only means you are integrating aspects which have long been denied you in human form. Now, though, memory is returning. The HS Confusion comes in when you have recently undergone embodiment, experienced the transformative process and must integrate the experience. Your human consciousness is left confused.
HS Confusion occurs as we take the pieces of HS we embodied and mix it with our human self. I know I wonder each time, “Why am I seeming to ‘return’ to who/what I once was? Why can I not remain as I was during embodiment?” It feels like a let-down, like it was all a dream or fantasy as reality once again sets in. For me, I have experienced two MAJOR embodiment periods, the first lasted two weeks and the second three weeks (more actually).
This is where the “demonstration” comes in. I was shown how to show the embodiment process and told that if I do a video of this demonstration it will not only give you all an idea of what embodiment IS but also why it results in HS Confusion. What you will see is that as the HS comes into the human consciousness at first it is distinctly separate. You can see the individual stream against the backdrop of the human energy/consciousness. As time passes, however, the HS stream blends into the human consciousness stream and what is left is a brand new blended consciousness.
I have not even watched the video so I hope it is decent. lol Just no time to go back and refilm to make it “perfect”. I figure it says what it needs to say without lots of fluff.
I know I didn’t talk too much about my experience of embodiment so I will a little now. Like I say in the video, my embodiment experiences have lasted weeks. My first experience was two weeks and the most recent three weeks.
Each time I experience embodiment I have specific “symptoms”, the most prominent being that my crown is wide open. There is also a sense of being more than me; of being BIGGER than myself and Remembering SO SO MUCH. There is nothing but the present moment. Anything past or future is muddy, my mind seeming to forget the existence of both. I simply exist and enjoy my existence. It is magical and unforgettable. I am HOME.
Not everyone will experience embodiment like me. Some may have only hints of it lasting mere minutes while others may walk around like I did for much longer than I did. Some even say they exist in the embodied state all the time. I believe we will all be like that eventually, when we are “full up” and completely merged.
Anyway, if you got this far, hope you enjoyed the read and video. Please like and share both this post and the video if you have time/desire.
These requests come from within only every once in a while. I’ve felt them a few times but I can’t say I have answered the Call the way I should. I feel that I have fallen short each time, never quite fully devoted to what I signed up for.
My dreams are indicating it is time to shift from healing self to healing humanity; from individualized healing to universal/collective healing. Messages and syncs line up with this message as well. Time to grow. Time to expand.
Of course, healing self is healing humanity, but this is at the micro level really. We can only spend so much time on the self. Eventually we have to step beyond the ME to the US.
The messages come through in my dreams as me being encouraged to renovate another house, one that is not mine (as in my own self/path) but one that is shared – a communal living situation (Earth/Humanity/the Collective). I am resistant, however, citing all sorts of reasons, primarily my children, for why I have been absent from the community for so long. It is my Home after all, but I stay away, clinging to my lingering attachments and responsibilities. The message that assisting the collective is also assisting my family seems to go completely over my head. I am hesitant and overly concerned about losing that which I have created in this lifetime.
But mostly there is a sense of the unknown and the typical fear that goes with it. The growth ahead is magnificent beyond compare. There is freedom written all over it. But do I really want that kind of freedom? At what cost?
The word “maturity” has been an almost constant for me as well. Anytime I seek to explain the transformation I recently went through – my own personal “event” – the word “mature” comes to mind as a descriptor. My guidance doesn’t tell me this….I KNOW it. Yet what does it even mean? That I was a baby and now I’m “all grown up?”
The symbolism was present prior to the “event” – a bird being kicked out of the nest, forced to use it’s wings to fly; the butterfly emerging from the cocoon, wings still wet and unable yet to fly, patiently waiting for the right moment to take flight. These symbols stating unequivocally that at some point I would have to fly and no one was going to help me – no one could. I have within me the means, the instinct (intuition) to fly, I just need to Remember it.
For days now I have awakened to a song. Only recently did I take the time to really inspect the lyrics to find out what it was telling me.
At first I thought the song was describing a relationship dilemma. Then, I thought perhaps it was about my Higher Self asking me to not ignore my relationship with mySelf. But now, I realize the message is much more than that. It goes beyond me, myself and I. It asks me to embrace the greater connection, the connection with ALL that IS; thus embracing my connection as being One with humanity, with the collective, with everyone and everything.
Only this morning did I contact the fear that is linked to my resistance. The fear is that I will be devoured by the connection to Source, to cease to exist as Me somehow. Ego is still there, clinging to the last remnants of what makes me, me. Separation, individuality, is familiar and comfortable. Safe.
There is also the fear of what it means to embrace the feeling. It is ginormous. It is compelling in its magnitude. To accept it means I no longer live in a bubble, inside my little me world, ignoring the We world.
My dreams also indicate that I am listening. The hesitation will not be long-lasting. I know what awaits me. I’ve been there. Jumped in head first. I only hesitate because I am aware of my very human tendencies that seek pleasure over pain. My fear stems from worry that I will fall prey to those tendencies again and be unable to control myself. My past experiences say, “Don’t go there. Remember what happened?”
My heart says this will be different. How? I’m unsure but I touched on the difference for only a moment this morning before my human alarms went off, pulling me out of the dreamstate in a panicked frenzy of, “Oh no you don’t!” lol The Kundalini stirring in ways unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time. But the peace, the utter bliss of connection very obvious. The message clear, “Trust. Love. Acceptance. Warmth” and most of all “Peace.”
How I can go from full acceptance to resistance almost over night is beyond me but I know it is purposeful. I need to observe this part of myself right now. I need to see the remaining resistance so that I can Love and accept it, pull it close and hug it away. But most of all, I need to accept that this Universal Love is real and goes beyond just one connection or two. It is ALL connection and we don’t just reserve it for a special few. Until I can embrace this reality, I cannot fulfill my mission. Humanity is shifting and I must shift with it. One day we will all feel connected to each other like I am now feeling connected to a mere few.
To give you an idea of what I mean, I will share a vision I received a couple of weeks ago. I was considering my past “addiction” to cigarettes and realized it was not the nicotine that kept me smoking but the consideration that in some messed up way smoking equated to feeling a connection to others; a belonging that I didn’t feel otherwise. Because when I smoked it was in social situations, when I felt accepted and part of a group even if only for a moment.
I was able to see also how all those who smoked with me felt like me. Separate. Alone. Seeking but unable to find. How similar we all are, I thought.
Then I was shown how this looked from a Higher perspective. I saw millions of pupa-looking cocoons each representing humans. Each pupa was surrounded in a shell separating them from the others. They were right next to each other but never could sense the other because their protective shells kept them apart.
Then a “wave” came over them and their shells burst open at the tops. Suddenly, everyone of them could sense the other. Their separation ended. Each could feel and sense the other as if they were them. They became as One but also separate. This, I was told, is what is happening to humanity. It is beyond telepathy. It is Oneness.
It’s the start of us, waking up, come on Are you ready? I’ll be ready I don’t want control, I want to let go Are you ready? I’ll be ready Cause now it’s time to let them know We are ready
Another dream to recount, this time a lucid to almost OBE. 🙂
The dream took place in two bedrooms and a bathroom attached to a college/university. The bedrooms and bathroom seemed to be living quarters or a house. Symbolically, I find this significant as houses/bedrooms represent the Self and the private self respectively. Therefore, the dream indicates the classroom or lesson is taking place within the Self and private self. 🙂
For most of the dream I was struggling to stay awake. I felt extremely sleepy and kept stopping to snooze in various places. I also recall putting something over my eyes, like a sleep mask or my hand, almost as if I was shielding myself from the light. There was no light, however, as the entire dream took place in low light.
Anyway, within the bedroom I was laying on a large, white bed and struggling to wake up. I knew it was time for my “class” and I needed to prepare or I would be late again. Someone was with me, a male colleague/partner, encouraging me to wake up and being very supportive. What is strange is that the bedroom was within an office that was also a classroom. It felt like my space as well as the space of my male colleague – as if we shared this bedroom/office/classroom.
There is much lost conversation here as I kept losing and gaining lucidity. The tired feeling is most prominent. I felt really heavy with sleep and though I felt the urge to get up and get going I was unable to follow through for very long.
What I recall next is the discussion about my next class – 2nd period (9am) – and remembering it was my math class, the one from previous dreams that I am having to retake because I kept skipping class. I knew I couldn’t miss another class yet kept telling myself I could miss just one day and make it up. I remembering rationalizing with, “I can get the assignment from a classmate. I’m sure it isn’t much.” In my mind I saw the assignment as one page of problems but my memory of them is odd. They didn’t look like math problems but instead like code of some sort. What I remember most is what reminds me of a letter “Q” but it wasn’t from our alphabet.
The thought of missing my math class motivated me enough to get me moving. I went outside into the hallway to head to my math class. My lucidity was strong enough that I recognized I was dreaming and immediately took flight up and over the heads of all the people in the hall. Down below me I could see children of various ages intermixed with adults. Some looked up at me in awe while others were oblivious to me. It was a thrill to know I could be seen and I communicated with those who could see me. One little boy was staring and an adult woman looked but then pretended I wasn’t there. I said to her, “I know you can see me!” LOL My thoughts at the time were that these individuals were like me and could “see” what others could not.
Somehow I ended up back in a bedroom/office/classroom but not the one I started out in. There was an entire backstory but I can’t remember it now. When I went into this room I realized it wasn’t mine and backed out, noting that no one was there. I commented to my male colleague who was still with me that the teacher who occupied it was not like me. His students were allowed to mess up the room and leave it that way. I said I would not allow my students to do that. I remember staring at a student chair (the chairs were in rows like an auditorium setting) that had the stuffing picked out of it thinking I would never allow that. The feeling here was that where others saw disorder and chaos this “teacher” saw great potential and creativity.
I was directed to a tiny camera located in a black satchel on the floor. A video camera (reflection on past) was poking out. It was mentioned that the female agent it belonged to had defected but the camera was left on. The video footage could be of anything.
Somehow I ended up back in my bedroom/office/classroom and the video was discussed. The occupant of the other bedroom/office/classroom was on the video. For some reason I thought of him as homosexual. The video showed him having sex with my mother-in-law (unresolved issue). I reacted with disgust and it was abhorrent to me that anyone would have sexual relationship with her. lol
I opted to go to the bathroom (cleansing and renewal) at this time to finally get ready for my day. While inside I heard keys jingling and worried someone was about to come in but it was a man going into one of the bedroom/office/classrooms. Relieved, I stayed in the bathroom and attempted to put on my contacts (new vision) and wash (cleanse) my face (perception of self) but once again I got really tired to the point of falling asleep.
Again I found myself inside my bedroom/office/classroom. My colleague was with me and I was having a discussion with him while putting my hair up in a ponytail (casual and carefree attitude). My hair was thick making it difficult to get it put up. When I finally succeeded I had somehow woven a large braid (determination) into my hair.
A man entered the bedroom/office/classroom at this time and my colleague departed. The man was the man from the other bedroom/office/classroom, the one who I thought of as homosexual (union of aspects of self). He came up behind me and began to touch me, wrapping his arms around me and fondling my breasts. His intentions were clear. My reaction was neutral, though, with a hint of playful curiosity. There is memory that my colleague/partner and I had discussed allowing such play and so I did not feel any guilt whatsoever. I allowed the man to touch me but ignored him otherwise, continuing to get ready. My memory of the man is shifty but I recall seeing him as very effeminate. His skin was soft like mine and his demeanor very flowing and graceful.
Considerations
When I woke from this dream I felt extremely groggy, like I had been drugged. I knew, though, that I had been OOB and also knew the dream was an attempt to get me to “see” something I am, for some reason, resistant to.
It is obvious to me that the two bedrooms are two different individuals. One is me and the other is “homosexual”. Homosexuality symbolizes union with aspects of self, typically of the masculine and feminine. So this individual is Whole and balanced. The bathroom is, of course, cleansing and renewal, and is located between the two bedroom/office/classrooms. The combination of bedroom with office and classroom suggests there exists within me (bedroom) great potential (office) for learning (classroom).
Based upon some recent, personal life events I suspect that I am being asked to confront lingering sexual beliefs and issues. Since the “event” in February I seem to have “plunged” into (as if diving head first into water) Ego-related tendencies and beliefs that need resolution. These are being brought to my attention in various ways. I have suddenly shifted from being comfortable with sex/passion to rejecting it to the point of numbness. This is a repeat of a previous time in my life and, thus, is reviving related issues. In the past, my body just did not respond to sex in a normal way and now this is recurring. It is like an internal connection had been cut. Sex is viewed as intrusive and degrading, the male gender as possessive and hungry. The tendency is avoidance and abstinence which it is not leading to resolution.
Additionally, two of the “new” chakras that I am now aware of are becoming more and more obvious. The “well of dreams” or “zeal point” chakra at the base of my neck has been painfully obvious since last Saturday. Mostly I hurt right at the base of my skull and there is no physical reason for it. The other chakra, located at the small of my back along my spine is also very active, but thankfully not in a painful way. It just feels like a ball of swirling, warm energy. When the warm energy is present the chakra at the base of my neck becomes warm as well, as if the two are communicating with each other, and the pain is relieved.
There is also a point just below my crown at the back of my head that is buzzing with energy. In fact, it is doing so right now. At times my entire head feels alive with energy that shifts from one area to another as if syncing. Back of head, side of head, third-eye, and then back again.
The pain I am feeling in the zeal chakra is likely a result of clearing of the lingering sexual issues and beliefs that need resolution. These issues do not feel to be mine anymore as I feel a disconnect from them for the most part. However, the more I delve into them, the more I begin to “own” them.
There is no fear of this clearing process and my dreams suggest I am seeking more awareness of these lingering issues in order to resolve them. I just wish the pain at the base of my skull would cease. It is unpleasant but bearable. I have never had pain in this area until this year. Thankfully, it is not restrictive nor does it give me a headache or any other issues.
I’ve not been documenting many dreams lately because: 1. I am not remembering them and 2. I’ve not felt the urge/need when I do remember them. Since last weekend, however, my dreams have revved up and are becoming somewhat insightful/prophetic, at least for me. Add the continued increase in synchronicity and there is no ignoring the messages.
Dream: I’m Going to Marry Him
I recall walking outside near a road near my childhood home. There was a whole section of dream about “special” individuals who had spiritual gifts. I was one of them and so was another woman. We were staying together to learn how to use our gifts.
The main part I remember is when I was outside and saw a man with a shovel (insight, understanding of new Self) digging up a section of the land. I was helping I think. We uncovered a wide, white sidewalk (steady progress/direction in life) that stretched the length of the property. I remember seeing the man and recognizing him. He looked like the Hindu man from an early Kundalini dream where we attended a Hindu engagement ceremony. When I saw the man I was not physically attracted to him at all. He was older with deeply etched wrinkles on his face. As I watched him and contemplated my feelings toward him I reminded myself that looks were unimportant and feeling is what mattered. I did have a connection to him, an attraction, and as I watched him I remember saying, “I’m going to marry him.”
The dream ended with me looking at the white sidewalk and noting how very long it was. I saw another sidewalk parallel to it on my left that was only halfway uncovered. There was information being passed on at this time but I don’t remember it now.
Dream: Avoiding a Procedure
In this dream I was heading to a place that felt “good” over all. I was walking along the road to it and encountered a stop or intersection. There was a couple (relationship) in a truck (work) with two large dogs (protection). The dogs were romping around and I happily interacted with them feeling carefree and happy.
There was an old man (masculine aspect) on the side of the road wearing a backpack (decisions/responsibilities). His hair was white with streaks of gray and he was probably in his 60’s. The couple and I spoke to him. He said he had come to visit and never left and that was back in 1967. He mentioned he was from Virginia. I said something like, “It’s cold there this time of year, so it’s good you’re here.”
The couple left the truck and I sat inside with their full grown mentally retarded son (aspect that is feeling left out) who was tracing letters on a paper with a round object. He was doing well and I complimented him on it. The son sometimes looked full grown and other times like a boy. I remember singing a song, I think it was, “He’s got the whole world in his hands.” The boy and I sang it for a while, laughing as we tried to remember the correct words.
Eventually, I was inside a “hospital” (healing) setting where others were also. Again, we were spiritually gifted and there to help better understand the process. It felt like we were “test subjects” and I remember it being an honor. There were beds and televisions arranged along the walls in a clinic-type setting. Everyone was nice and it was pleasant overall.
There was a dream within a dream type situation where I was in the hospital but there was a fence (barrier, feeling fenced in) along the side and beyond the fence was a dark (unknown) forest (subconscious). I peeked through and saw lights which illuminated a military (emotional repression) truck (work). In this part of the dream I was trying to escape (avoidance) for some reason. A man was with me helping me and asking me to pay attention to the lights (clarity, guidance, illumination). The lights would flash like fireworks and during this part of the dream I became very lucid, but it didn’t last.
Then I was coming back to the facility but when I got inside I found my family had all left me behind (feeling left out). In this case, family was my mom and sisters. I called my brother on the phone and asked him where they all were. He said they had all been released. I said, “Good, then I can come home. What happened?” He paused and told me, “I don’t know what I can tell you. I had to sign lots of confidentiality paperwork.” This concerned me. I kept saying, “I’m coming home.”
As I was leaving a nurse (need to take time to heal) stopped me and said, “You need to stop taking your vitamin A.” I said, “Sure. Okay. No problem. That’s easy.” Then she said, “The E, too.” She seemed really intense though and I felt more of a need to leave then ever.
When I got to the last door another nurse stopped me. She had in her hand what looked like a large turkey baster. She was putting on gloves and said, “One more thing before you go….” I took one look at her and knew where she intended to put the thing. I said, “I don’t think so” and began to try and find the fastest route out of there.
Two other nurses came and began to corner me. One was saying, “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” Several times they had me and I got away, each time someone was saying something to me about how it was not that bad and I was making it out to be worse than it was. There were even “family members” telling me I had to do it and there was no avoiding it. All I could think of was how they wanted to stick that huge object where the sun don’t shine and that didn’t seem like fun to me. It seemed like they were going to give me an enima with it.
I managed to get out and sprinted past the truck from earlier in the dream and into a parking area where I saw a police car (seeking assistance). Thinking I could get help, I jumped inside the car. The police officer looked like a deer in headlights and didn’t move to help or anything. He shrunk up against the side of the car letting my pursuers get past him. I grabbed a tiny pistol (feeling defensive) the officer had in the car and aimed it at the nurses warning them I would shoot if I had to. At this point I was feeling that if they got me I was a goner. In my mind I was set against going with them at all costs but not sure why. It seemed like it was life or death for some reason.
I climbed out the other side of the car but the nurses had caught up to me, all of them dressed in their white lab coats which made them look sinister for some reason. I aimed the pistol and shot but all that came out was a tiny, “pffft” and a small cloud of smoke. The gun was worthless! My pursuers got hold of me, one on each arm and the other grabbed my legs. They dragged me back to the facility. The dream ended there.
When I woke up I was startled and wondering why I was so resistant in the dream. It felt like an ET-type dream where I was going to get some adjustments done. Usually I am very friendly and amicable about such situations.
Not long after I woke, I remember hearing a conversation in the in-between but can’t recall it now except for me saying “Only four” as in a number of spots.
Kundalini
Though the above dreams may not seem like much they come after several Kundalini and Kundalini-related dreams that I have not documented in this blog. To summarize, the Kundalini has been showing up in my dreams in a very obvious way. The first time it was welcomed but in the others I purposefully avoided it even after some prodding by dream characters. I’m not sure why I am avoidant, either. I thought I got past that long ago? Perhaps I just don’t want to go down that road again? Likely as that does not appeal to me. If someone were to offer me the powerfully attractive, blissgasm of the Kundalini right now I would say, “Nah. I’m good.” LOL
The first dream above is reminiscent of dreams I had prior to some major Kundalini episodes back in 2015-2016. The man was the exact same man. Who he is, I have no clue. Maybe just a representation of my masculine Self. He is plain looking with dark hair and medium skin tone and has a very Indian look about him. I suspect his reappearance has to do with yet another “clearing” by my friend the Kundalini.
My guess on the second dream is that I am witnessing the last remnants of my Ego trying desperately to hold onto what she can but not putting up much of a fight (thus the tiny, impotent pistol).
Crossroads
One more thing I meant to mention. Last Friday/Saturday we came to a “cosmic crossroads” so to speak – well some of us did, anyway. I received a heads up prior to Friday in a dream and later was shown a wall sliding across my line of sight, representing an impenetrable wall sealing the path behind me. I was told, “When one door closes, another opens.” That same day I ran into a blog post mentioning the 21st as a “point of no return” and then the next day another post citing the astrological significance of last weekend leading to us recognizing life’s “dead ends” and taking a new path forward.
I know I have not written much on my personal spiritual journey for a long while, other than to post an OBE or two. Spiritual experiences continue, but are unclear initially and need much processing. Plus, I am observing the impermanence of experience and waiting for information to process – to solidify – before I share it. This goes against the grain of my previous personality, I know. Rest assured, the part of me that wishes to blurt out everything I experience is still here but has learned to stand down and allow the process to unfold. There is much wisdom to be found in patient observation. Patient – also a word that I would normally not use to describe myself. 🙂
This morning when I woke I had clarity where there has been none for quite a few weeks. Mercury retrograde threw me into the mind more than the norm and, thus, made it difficult for me to feel through situations as they arose. Thankfully, the incidents during retrograde were mostly minor in nature – a broken Smart TV and stove burner ignition – along with other materially-oriented irritations and annoyances. Anything material/physical was really pushing my buttons during the retrograde. Thankfully, it is over now.
I have been receiving messages for some time now about “the Event” everyone has been talking about. Honestly, I have not read anything online about it and other than my own, personal “event”, have not sought out any information. Regardless, my guidance has been nudging me toward understanding and provided some insight.
Discussion
This morning a discussion was on-going but I only got a glimpse of the end of it. I was reminded of a friend of my sister’s who I also knew. His name was Wesley and he was a wild, free-spirit young man who had many inner demons he was avoiding confronting. He avoided them by taking drugs of all kinds and drinking alcohol. It was obvious he was an alcoholic and very self-destructive. It was as if he was out to kill himself via drugs/alcohol. In the time I knew him I witnessed his behavior and even one time passed on a message to him from his father who had died when he was younger. He was so overwhelmed by my message that he began to ask me how I knew and proclaimed my gift must be made up, composed of guesses that just happened to be truth. It deeply affected him, I could tell. Later that night he snorted cocaine and was wilder than ever.
I remember my sister telling me several years later of a horrible accident. Wesley had been on an island vacation partying as was his style. He was up on the fourth floor of the hotel, sitting on the railing and suddenly fell backward and over the rails. He ended up landing on a fence below, breaking his back and nearly dying. He ended up a quadriplegic, unable to move anything but his head.
Afterward, he fell into a deep depression. His girlfriend at the time ended up sticking by his side, dedicated to him to the point of marrying him post-accident. The last I heard he had regained use of his arms and was happily married and doing well despite his disability.
In remembering this man’s story I thought that he had been forced to confront his demons via life events. He was drunk and high when he fell and broke his back. The accident forced him to awaken to that which he was trying so desperately not to see. He followed the path of sobriety later and as a result the path of healing. I do not know how he is today but I feel that he is much wiser and more appreciative of life now.
A message I received from my guidance related to Wesley’s story was that sometimes, when we refuse to wake up to something, we have to force ourselves to awaken so that we see what it is that we need to see. In these instances a traumatic life event often is the “force” that awakens us.
My guidance and I discussed the trauma happening worldwide to wake up portions of the population. This goes hand-in-hand with a feeling I have been having about the collective. It seems that in order for collective humanity to wake up, something traumatic must occur. I sensed that there would be more trauma worldwide in the coming years last night. I remember thinking, “Apocalypse?” I heard back, “Not that bad but things will get worse.”
For a very long while I have had a Knowing that part of humanity will ascend and part will not. It seems that this ascension is coming to a “T”. The more force/pressure there is, the more people will react. It is just part of the process and a necessary one.
Other experiences I’ve had indicate that some will “see” the process as it occurs and be aware of the split timelines as they occur, while others will not.
Surrender
Our discussion then turned to my past experiences related to and a result of December 2015 – the ever-dreaded “twin flame”-type experience. Now, on the other side of such an experience, I have so much more perspective. I am able to see very clearly the true nature of such connections and the lessons they provide. The energy dynamics are especially obvious. Not only is there an unhealthy, obsessive need to connect and be with the other person but the imbalance created in the energy body in and of itself is phenomenal! It is a completely illogical process meant to thrust a person directly into full-awareness and confrontation of their inner demons. It is, in essence, a “traumatic” experience. 😉
I sensed through it all “this is not good for me” yet at the same time I knew it could teach me something and I chose to submit fully to the experience rather than resist it. This decision, as it turns out, was the right one.
Ultimately, the experience taught me about extremes and how to choose the middle path of balance. Duality is all about extremes and the best way to navigate through it is to seek the middle road – the path of balancing those extreme energies – or as my guidance says, “Follow the 8 winds”. In the end, the only way to recover from the “twin flame” experience was to surrender fully to it.
I think what most people don’t get, because I didn’t get it, is the act of surrender and what it truly consists of. It is not “giving up” or “giving in”. The very act of giving up implies that you “lose” something, that you are “wrong” or made a “mistake”. This consideration in and of itself will prevent full surrender from ever occurring. Surrender doesn’t mean you lose or fail. Surrender means you are seeking tobe one with the experience. When you can do this, you have entered into- merged with – full acceptance.
The tendency is to approach surrender from the mind – to mentally “surrender” via affirmations or decisions to surrender or let go. This doesn’t work. True surrender doesn’t occur via the mind. Mental constructs only serve to build up resistance. Construct = construction = build up. We need to tear down, de-construct. It is all via feeling, via our energy, that progress is made. The mind is just an afterthought and distraction.
I cannot put into words what complete surrender is other than what I wrote above. It just IS and until you experience it for yourself you will not fully grock it. The feeling of it, when it occurs, is peaceful and flowing. There is absolutely no resistance. The energy body becomes relaxed and fully open and receptive. It is a full energetic body experience. There is no rigidity to the experience whatsoever. You would be completely happy existing within that state for eternity, even when it is something that your human self would reject completely. Because as Spirit, all states of existence are equal.
Get it?
Only when you fully embrace it will you be freed of it.
This is why traumatic experiences are often the ones that have the most lasting effects upon us while in the physical body. We resist so intensely things we see as “bad” that we must be thrust directly into them against our will to finally recognize their “badness” is not so bad. And if we really allow the experience then the “bad” definition vanishes and it just IS.
The same goes for the “good”, sought-after experiences. We recognize the experience just IS, do not attach and cling, and can experience it in the moment without worrying about the loss of it being replaced by the “bad”. We realize that within the realm of Time, nothing lasts but that everything is also everlasting. We are guaranteed the experience again – good or bad.
It is being “present” but as a Beingness…….it is a presence we take on – an energy we embody and carry with us. This is brought to us by our Higher Selves during the ascension process. The more of our HS we take in, the more we Be-come and the easier it is to remain balanced between the extremes of this dualistic reality/experience. We bring into Time the memory and Being-ness of timelessness.
It is the only way to ascend. There is no other path but right through the middle.
In regards to worldwide ascension, all of the above applies. Everyone will have to, at one point or another, learn the lesson of surrender. Whether they need one or many “traumatic” experiences is up to the individual. Some will be resistant and stay on repeat until either they complete and ascend or they complete in other ways (remain in the 3D loop to try again in another life).
The analogy of the funnel can be used to describe the process. We have been traveling down the funnel for a while now as is part of the evolutionary path of this planet. As we enter the narrowest part of the funnel and transfer through to the other side, the pummeling intensifies. Thus, “traumatic” events intensify in both quantity and quality. This will not only be noticed in individual experiences but also worldwide. The moment of the “event” is when the narrowest portion of the funnel is surpassed and the other side is reached.
Much love to you all on your journey through the funnel. Think of it as a waterslide. Throw your hands up over your head, scream at the top of your lungs, and take the plunge.
I’ve not been focused on my dreamtime of late but this morning was blessed with 2 experiences I wish to document.
Lucid to OBE: Map and $10
The dream seemed to suddenly “begin” the moment I gained lucidity. I cannot remember much before except flashes of images and a few strange interactions. The moment of lucidity came as we – my family and I – approached a house in the city. The unknown city was very large, with buildings that reached toward the sky, their tops lost in the clouds.
The house itself was quaint with apparent renovations (new perspective needed) to the side entry. Two sets of different double doors had been sealed (opportunity missed/denied). I remember wondering why they would do such a thing. A house needed more than one entry/exit and they had left only the front entry.
Once inside I saw a very modern house and commented on how impressed I was at its open layout. There was a dark haired woman inside who thanked me. She had an older woman – her mother – with her.
We had come to the house because my husband wanted to meet the lady that lived there. She ushered us in the the kitchen and showed us a wall covered in magnets. The magnets (the bond of personal relationships) were all decorated with various feathers (warmth, comfort) of many sizes and shapes. I remember thinking, “He came here to look at feather magnets?” I remember having an internal discussion about the futility of feather magnets and being a tad jealous that this woman seemed to be able to make a living selling them. How was that even possible?
Bored, I looked around the house and at the layout. The livingroom and dining area were open to one another but extended into another section where the kitchen was located. There were three rooms I could see from where I was standing but one bedroom (personal self, private self) was open to the kitchen (inner transformation), which I thought was a major design flaw. In my mind I imagined how I would correct the flaw, putting a wall (block) between the kitchen and bedroom.
I wandered to another window and noticed I could see rooftops (barrier between two states of consciousness) for miles. I thought it a sad sight. Who wants rooftops as their window view?
I noticed the mother of the lady who owned the house was laying on the sofa trying to sleep. She asked me to get her medicine and the lady of the house said she would handle it but scolded me for waking up her mother.
As my husband, my mom and the woman continued to talk I grew bored and wandered to the living room window to look outside. There I saw a three-car pile-up in the busy street outside (something is holding me back). Upon closer inspection I realized it was just two cars. One, a white truck (spiritual work), had a small, red (root chakra, passion, sexuality) trailer (carrying a burden) attached to the end and a woman (me?) was curled up inside it. I watched as the cars slowly drove away stuck together end-to-end.
Somehow I had transported outside to the road and soon realized I was floating. I saw a one-way street filled with cars at rush hour. I was face-to-face with an older model white Cadillac (success). I saw one open lane and flew up and threw it going the opposite direction of the cars.
I then became thoughtful of my circumstances. I remember thinking, “I left my body somewhere. Where is my body?” Rather than get caught up in worry over it, though, I realized my body was likely safe and secure and that I needn’t bother looking for it. I figured I would find it at some point. I decided I could get a better view of my location if I were higher up. So, I floated up slowly to gain perspective of my situation.
As I lifted up I felt a surge of child-like joy. The city I was in was massive and seemed to have no end. It was night and the sky was extremely cloudy.
I flew along for a short while and encountered a piece of paper folded tightly. It seemed to be a note to me. I unfolded it, still hovering mid-air, and looked inside. There seemed to be a portion of ripped paper. Inspecting it, I realized it was a map of the city. Something was written on it and I focused to read it. I did read it but can’t remember the message now. Since it had been ripped there was only a small, rectangular portion so I could not decipher the map itself (still looking for myself).
Behind the map was a larger folded object. It was velvety feeling and when I unfolded it, it turned out to be an oversized 10 (closure, great gains, strength) dollar bill (success). I could see it with perfect detail and marveled at the velvety (emotion) feel of it. I knew it was for me, a message of some kind, and tucked it into my left pants pocket along with the map.
My lucidity shifted me back to my sleeping body for a moment but I returned to the scene promptly.
OBE: Wegman’s
I was hovering over the city and saw the small white car my family and I had arrived it driving away from me. A thought crossed my mind that my family was leaving me behind and I needed to follow them. They were going so fast and I seemed to far away. I remembered that all I had to do was focus my thoughts on the car and I would instantly be there. Happy that it was so easy and effortless I opted to just go with the flow.
I lifted up and flew over the city for a while. I began to sing a song but can’t remember the melody or words now. The feeling of child-like joy is the main memory I have of this time. Below me I could see the city streets and buildings. I seemed to be pulled upward as if by a large magnet but there was no fear of being pulled into space even though the intensity of the pull was increasing.
The speed increased as well and I moved so fast the city was a blur beneath me. The sky was still cloudy and dark but my vision was good. Below me a shape began to take form. It looked like a giant, metal tree composed of loops and shapes. It was a Celtic Tree of Life! It was massive and I laughed with glee as I grabbed hold of one of the metal branch loops marveling at its beauty. I remember knowing it was part of a sign for a store called Wegman’s. I repeated the name and flew over the top of the massive metal tree looking at the store below me noting a an illuminated sign of the same name.
I remember checking my left pant’s pocket for the map and velvet $10 bill as I flew. It seemed as if I was reveling in knowing I still had it.
I continued to fly for a bit after that, still singing. At some point, though, the energy of my physical body called me back to it so I gave in and settled back into my sleeping body.
Considerations
These are the first OBEs/lucid dreams I’ve had in a very long time. I have been requesting them for weeks without success. These continue to indicate a more relax, go-with-the-flow state, one where I embrace the experience and do not attempt to take control of the OBE and/or dream.
The main part of these experiences that is a surprise to me is that I saw the Wegman’s sign. I had no idea what Wegman’s was until I looked it up this morning and saw it was a grocery store chain. I’m not sure of the significance of it, either, nor why the sign for it would be the Celtic Tree of Life. But based on my feelings in both experiences I would say whatever the significance and message, I was/am pleased.
Message
OBE: Wegman’s
Living Life in Between 