Tomorrow is the funeral for the man who set himself on fire in our old family home. My husband wants to attend but I have mixed feelings. Mainly I am hesitant because I don’t like funerals and didn’t know the man very well. However, I have also had a sense that this man is hanging around just outside my energy field. There comes with this sense thoughts of the fire, of him, of the circumstances of his death, etc.
Last night, in fact, he was close enough that I recognized him and heard him asking me to help him communicate with his wife because “she is in so much pain.” I told him I didn’t think it would help her at this time, especially if she is not seeking it.
He wouldn’t go away and I began to feel very concerned because his energy made me feel strange. He was telling me that he did not deserve what “heaven” had to offer him and I tried to tell him he did deserve it. I enveloped him in white light and he tried to resist it but eventually he allowed himself to experience some of it. I told him to be at peace he needed to accept the light. He thanked me but did not leave. I don’t think he is earth bound, at least not in the sense that some who pass become, but he could be at risk for it if he continues to reject the light.
Some of my dreams of late have been indicating that the use of my spiritual abilities will come up for inspection. Mediumship has been the most frequent sign from the Universe. Not only have I sensed the man but have also been asked in a FB group many questions about my gifts lately. With all the other strange things happening to me, I find that I have an illogical fear connected to tapping into my gifts again. I fear it getting out of control for some reason.
Anxiety Again
I had a really strange bout of anxiety a couple of mornings ago. It was the day I had two OBE’s (last post) and did not get much sleep. The coffee I drank was stronger than usual and made me feel loopy and fatigued. It reminded me of the jet lag only not as severe.
I did research on caffeine sensitivity and I have about every symptom listed. As a person gets older their sensitivity to caffeine can increase to the point of intolerance. The Kundalini also can make a person intolerant of stimulants like caffeine.
So, I decided to go back to half-decaf and wean myself off coffee. At this point it is the only thing I can do to exert some control. Hopefully it will lessen this very “wide open” feeling I’ve been having for a while now.
Kundalini
Along with all of the above the Kundalini has become more active again. Last night it awakened me in the middle of the night. It was not the bliss kind of Kundalini this time. Instead it was intense energetic healing to my sacral and solar plexus chakras. It was so strong that I often found myself holding my breath at times.
At one point the energy was very noticeable along my left side. It felt like it was following a channel up the left side of my spine. It spread all the way to the top of my head and the tips of my toes.
The energy lasted for much longer than I wanted and I finally told my guidance I was too tired and to tone it down so I could go back to sleep. They did as I asked.
Concerns
I have been feeling “off” and this has been going on for quite a while now. My dreams lately cause me to think I am interacting with different timelines. I often wake up confused or have periods of amnesia both within my dream and after I wake. The dream snippets I recall usually have multiples of the same person or are of me selecting specific paths to view the outcome.
My husband leaves on business travel next Wednesday for an unknown period of time. This worries me a bit because the last time he was gone I had so many panic episodes. As it is, I am sometimes feeling like I am barely hanging on to my sanity. I pray that it all settles down soon.
It’s been an interesting few days. The energy has stabilized somewhat. I am sleeping better, my dreams often lost to me upon waking. I feel physically good but mentally bored. I long for a deeper connection with the world and with others. Interactions feel superficial in comparison.
Mostly I’ve been keeping busy. This often helps quiet my internal dialogue. I’ve been very physically active, running and lifting weights. Sunday I ran 13.2 miles and then yesterday I ran another 3.1 miles. When I run I don’t think. My mind goes quiet and all that remains is the present moment. It is such a relief! Thus the 13.2 miles on Sunday. lol It got me out of the house, away from the seemingly constant fighting and irritability of my children, and into nature under the wide open blue sky. I felt like I could have run forever until my calves started cramping and I realized my body wasn’t up for it. LOL
Yesterday, I started back working on my CES course (Corrective Exercise Specialist). I have until April to finish it and I do not like leaving things unfinished. Once I pass the test I will be able to use it with my personal trainer certification, if I choose to that is. I have not felt motivated toward that end just yet. However, last night after attending a group run, one of the group members complained of sciatic nerve pain and I showed him and a few others some stretches they could do to help alleviate the pain. One guy got on the floor with me to try it himself. When I showed them the full version of it (shoelace pose), the entire room stopped and gasped at my ability to seemingly contort my body into the position I was in. It made me laugh because 1. I don’t think of myself as flexible and they were commenting on how flexible I am and 2. I hadn’t expected so much attention. As a Leo I am at my best in such situations, so it was fun for me and felt good.
As I mentioned, dreams have been hard to recall lately, but I have had a few that seem significant.
Dream: Into the Vagina
This was a semi-lucid dream/vision. I had just awakened and then fell back to sleep and was in and out of the in-between. Someone took my hand and led me down into my own vagina (yeah really! lol). I entered into a dark tunnel at the end of which I saw a light. It felt like I was being shown something important; something healing. So, I was curious and did not resist.
I floated through the tunnel and found myself in a very brightly lit hospital. There were people, nurses and doctors mostly, hustling about. It felt very comfortable, as if I had spent many, many hours in this place. I remember encountering a female nurse who showed me a clipboard with paperwork on it.
Then I lifted up and floated to other areas of the hospital where I saw rooms with occupants. I never lingered in any spot very long. It was more like I was surveying the scene. As I floated I became more and more lucid and could hear a male voice in the background of my mind, as if he were whispering to me. I knew we were conversing and this peaked my lucidity which then woke me up.
After I awoke, the life where I was a nurse was flashing through my mind. I wondered if perhaps I was being shown past life memories? Maybe there was something from that life that is currently affecting this one, specifically my sacral chakra?
In that life I had been a black woman who worked as a nurse. I do not think I was paid well, nor do I think I got the recognition I deserved considering the era I lived in. I recall becoming infected with Hepatitis C from contact with a dirty syringe and later dying of liver failure. My children sang “I’ll Fly Away” to me on my deathbed in 1963. I had lived in Mississippi.
That was a very abusive life, yet also a very full and rewarding life as a mother and caregiver to others. Perhaps I was being shown the hospital to help remind me of the good I did in that life? Or maybe of my nurturing side? It is hard to know for sure.
Dream: Dog Race
I was traveling in a car with my husband. We were going to see a woman perform because my husband insisted. He was going on and on about all the reasons this woman was wonderful and there was no convincing him otherwise. I remember being irritated by his tendency to idolize and/or create role models out of others.
As we drove into the city I saw people walking toward the event we were to attend. A woman was dressed (projections, outward appearance) in what looked like a potato bag with a collar. My husband was commenting on how beautiful and elegant her dress was. I made a joke about how uncomfortable it must be to wear.
At some point we split off (different life paths), me alone in my own car. He went to the left and I headed straight. Suddenly, I came to a stop sign and had to slam on my brakes to avoid going through the intersection. There were only two ways to go: left or straight. I opted to go straight.
Very soon after making this decision I realized that I had gone into a circular drive (repeating cycle). I immediately began to search for an exit. The drive led to a dog racing track (looking out for self and own needs) and stadium. I could see the little dogs on the track and hear the announcer on the loud speaker telling the audience how much time was left until the races started. The countdown (feeling strapped for time) was very near zero so I had to find a way out.
I was not in my car during this time. I walked across a green area back toward the entrance. I dragged with me a plush sofa chair (laziness or boredom). Why I was carrying this, I have no clue, but it was with me until the end of the dream. When I got to the entrance I heard the races begin. There was a lady at the entrance locking up the gate with chains and padlocks. When I approached her, I asked where the exit was. She scolded me, telling me that the only way out was through the entrance and that I should have known that. I apologized and asked if she could open it, which she would not. Instead she suggested I squeeze through the gate and between the chains. I tried but said I was too tall and couldn’t fit. Clearly irritated with me, she opened the gate and let me through.
Relieved to be out, I walked to my right. The street was now gone and replaced with the inside of a very nice building reminiscent of a college (lessons). I walked down the hallway and sat on a bench, placing my sofa chair next to me. I waited there, wondering what to do next, and bothered by an itch in the middle of my back that I couldn’t reach (pun on itch that can’t be scratch).
I slowly began to gain lucidity at this time. A song was going through my head – You ain’t never had a friend like me. Along with it were images of my high school days when I was captain of the color guard. Good memories overall, I often smile at the thought of them.
When I awoke the song was on my mind as were the memories of performing the flag routine on a football field for UIL competition. Every time I hear the song I think of that moment and how exhilarating and exciting it was to perform with the other members of the color guard. We won the competition that year. We performed all the songs from Aladdin, routines we all collaborated on but that were mostly created by me. Thus, the sense of pride and accomplishment that comes with the memory. When I think of what it is to be a good leader, I think of that year and the amazing feelings that go with it.
As I lingered in bed, I mulled over the dream that preceded the song and wondered what it could mean. Immediately, my husband’s tendency to fixate on certain “awesome” individuals came to mind. He often asks me, “Who is someone you look to as a role model?” I never have one and usually say, “I don’t have any role models.” He can’t understand this and usually presses me, saying, “Think about it. Surely there’s someone you seek to emulate?” I always respond, “Nope.” When he continues to press me, I explain that I see positive traits in everyone, but also negative. There is no person who is “perfect”; all have flaws. Thus, it never made sense to me to select one over all others to be my “role model”. Instead, I tend to appreciate the good traits in those I associate with and work to better those things in myself. That is as close as I ever get to idolizing someone usually. And if I am honest, if I have ever considered idolizing someone I have always found some equally negative aspect in them.
Then I wondered about the end of the dream, how I sat there not knowing what to do. It brought up feelings of apathy about the future and other issues that have plagued me this life. I thought of the “dog race” in the dream and how it reflects previous dream messages – “go slow” and “go forward slowly, it’s not a race to the end”. There was again the feeling of waiting for something, for the years to pass so I could get to the “good parts”. There seemed to be so few of them.
I could feel my inner guide throughout this time, encouraging me to go to my center. This I did frequently, always feeling this comfortable place at my core and the warm energy that goes along with it. The feeling is similar to floating in warm water. No urgency. No fear. Just comfort and ease.
Then I noticed another song came into my mind – I Won’t Back Down.
At first I thought the song was about my husband. It definitely fit his personality. He is so stubborn and persistent!! But now I think it may have been a message to me to keep going, to not give up. Maybe it is both, though.
I am reminded of the years I spent living at my old address near my mom’s house in the country. We lived there 7 years. In that time there was a period when I wanted desperately to leave but no matter how hard I tried, things just didn’t work out. It felt like I was stuck there. There were periods when I despaired over the feeling of needing/wanting to go but being tethered to the spot for reasons unknown to me. I suspected I needed to stay for my mom, but really I had no idea why I had to stay.
Then one day a song came to mind – “7 years went under the bridge”. I don’t remember the whole song now, not even the melody, but that specific portion of the lyrics remains firm in my memory. I had no idea at the time that “7 years” was the key part of the message. 7 years was when the Kundalini suddenly began to return. 7 years was when we sold our house. 7 years was when my grandmother passed away. 7 years was when my third child was born. 7 years was when my mom remarried. 7 years was when I was hit with sudden Knowing that it was Time and I acted upon it.
That was 2014 and things really accelerated after that. But now they are slow again and I am feeling that problematic “stuck” feeling. Sigh. I know that familiar sense of Knowing will come again but when, I don’t know. If is is 7 years like before then I have 3 more to go and that seems like an eternity to me. But hey, if it is that long then I know it will arrive super fast because the older I get, the faster time seems to fly by. Today I’m 42, tomorrow I’m 60. lol
So, in the meanwhile, I’ll keep busy like I always do. I’ll finish my CES course. I’ll keep working. I’ll keep running. I’ll keep being a mom and I’ll keep learning the lessons this period in my life has to teach me. Hopefully, I won’t have to repeat any of them.
I’ve been really, really tired lately and needing more sleep than usual. I suspect all the Kundalini healing and energy necessitates that I get more sleep than usual. I love to sleep, so I don’t mind.
The Kundalini was quiet last night and I was able to get a nice, restful sleep. Dream recall is spotty, though. I didn’t remember any dreams until this afternoon, on my way to have lunch with my daughter at her school, a song came on the radio that I had never heard before. The lyrics that stood out to me were, “Roller coaster”. It was said over and over again in the song and it triggered a dream memory.
Here’s the song:
Dream: Baby Roller Coaster
In the dream I was with a man walking outside. I remember green grass and a vivid blue sky. Our conversation is lost to me except the part about the construction of a roller coaster. We were planning where to put it and I pointed to an elevated area. We stepped through a kind of portal or doorway and it took us from the green field to a spacious area but I am not sure if it was outside or inside because all I remember of it is the color off white or gray.
As we transitioned into the large, open space the roller coaster seemed to materialized all at once. The beginning of it was at the elevated area I had suggested which was no higher than counter height. I remember explaining that it had to start high up to give the car enough speed to make it to the end. Then I watched as a woman sat inside a tiny seat and strapped herself in with a couple of seat belts. I watched as she road the roller coaster to the end, noting there were not many steep hills or fast curves. I said, “It’s a baby roller coaster”. I was informed that we were working our way up to larger, faster ones. I was excited about that and remember seeing blueprints for future roller coasters we would be constructing.
Then it was my turn. I was put in the car and set upon the track but instead of the starting point, I was placed at the finishing point. I did not wear a seat belt. Someone pushed me a bit and the car rolled slowly up the track but one of the wheels came off the track and I slid off and over onto my butt, falling only a couple of inches to the ground. I remember thinking it odd that they would put me on going the wrong way but I never protested, just sat looking at the roller coaster track thinking I wasn’t going to go anywhere starting at the finish.
Considerations
Overall, I think the dream is positive. A roller coaster is life’s ups and downs. The more hills and drops, the more crazy the life experiences. The roller coaster in this dream was very mild, a “baby roller coaster”. Therefore, the life experiences would be much less dramatic, more calm and smooth, but still fun and exhilarating. The fact that I was planning more roller coasters indicates more experiences are on the horizon, but nothing intense just yet. The blueprints point to a bit bigger ride next go round but still one that qualifies as “baby”. 😉 The part at the end, where I am set at the end of the ride, suggests that I am realizing the ride is officially over.
I believe this dream is a reflection of what I just experienced, specifically from August 12th through August 27th. I just finished a wild, Kundalini ride that was unusual and unexpected in so many ways. The experience was a mixture of physical and spiritual, catalyzed by a physical world connection, ultimately culminating in a massive healing event. It was an exhilarating thrill-ride through Kundalini bliss-land. Yet there was nothing crazy or illogical about it. I was completely calm and collected throughout. The energy dynamics were intense, yes, but there were no major drops or dips, no manic highs….just like the “baby roller coaster” in the dream.
In the end I am left in awe and blown away once again by this amazing ascension journey I find myself on. This experience has me wanting to explore further the deep connections we have with one another, soul connections that exist beyond the limits of time and space. I have witnessed a part of myself that is without fear, that is willing to experience the Divine in all things, that is open and vulnerable while at the same time passionate and fiery, ready to consume and be consumed.
It is clear to me now that my experiences over the last few years have profoundly changed me for the better. I am excited for the next roller coaster ride. I’m ready!
After a very long time (months?) I finally got to venture OOB!
Lucid to OBE: Swan’s
I was at my Mom’s house standing on the back porch looking at the pool when I became lucid in this dream. My daughter and one of my son’s were running with floats toward the pool. This is when I noticed there was a whole flock of beautiful, white swans in the pool. I yelled to my daughter to stop but she jumped in anyway. As I made my way to the water to try and get a photo before the swans took flight I noticed the pool was empty, the water dark with tall grass surrounding the water.
A group of baby swans was left behind and one of them got into the pool with my kids. It seemed tame and was happily playing in the water with them. By this time I was in the water, too, snapping photos with my phone. The water was crystal clear blue and the pool looked like my mom’s pool.
At some point the baby swan left and my daughter went looking for it. She found a shriveled looking thing resembling the dried remains of a very large toad. We were all sad and tossed it into the bushes. Another, larger swan swooped into the pool and floated there gracefully for a while. We were all in awe of it’s beauty. My daughter said she felt the swan was the baby’s mother.
Something about the swans and situation made me super aware of my energy body. I lost solidity in the scene and shifted out. Grabbing the opportunity I shifted back OOB.
OBE: “Power” Lines
I ended up in my old room at my mom’s house. I went directly into the kitchen where I saw my mom and sister sitting at the kitchen table. I passed beyond that into my mom’s room. The room was completely different with a twin bed in the center. I commented to my mom about it but upon closer inspection realized it wasn’t her.
I went into the bathroom and saw three people inside getting ready. One was a tall, blonde man and the other two were women. None of them were familiar except the man and I had an out of character need to kiss him, but refrained.
I went back into the bedroom and approached the woman. Her face morphed and settled into one of a fairly attractive woman with dark hair. I didn’t recognize her. We talked but I can’t recall what was said. For some reason I bent down and kissed her. I recall the kiss vividly because it was so physically real feeling. She kissed back but then pulled away disgusted. I left the room and decided to go outside to explore.
I remember there were small dogs – pugs I think – that was inside growling at me. When I went outside, passing through the door with ease, I saw a large, red pick-up parked sideways on the lawn. It’s windows were tinted so dark I couldn’t see inside. The handles one with the door so that you could not open them without a key. Another growling dog was nearby and also a man but I only remember his presence, I never saw him.
Music began to play in the background of the experience. An entire band/orchestra and I seemed to automatically know the words to the song. I lifted up into the sky and began to sing as I flew up the drive and to the left. Higher and higher I flew until I began to feel pulled upward. I didn’t want to go up so I grabbed onto the power lines, following them as I sang.
I wish I could recall what I was singing because it was important (I repeated it in the in-between to try and remember) but I don’t. Instead, I remember seeing the blue sky dotted with clouds, the road below me and a man walking along it looking up at me. My pulling on the power lines knocked them on top of him and I lost visual and shifted back into my body.
OBE: Seeking My Partner
I shifted immediately back OOB and into my old bedroom. I went directly to the kitchen but all was dark. I could not find who had been there before and the whole place felt abandoned. I went back into the bedroom and saw the people who had been there before but their faces morphed and shifted and it felt off to me. I vaguely recall looking closely again at the woman and the blonde man but can’t remember what happened. I think they vanished when I tried to touch them.
I opted to go outside again and it was dark, so dark I couldn’t see much of anything. The entire time I was talking aloud, saying I wanted to find my partner and asking for help to find him. I recall thinking I was tired of being alone and feeling a need from deep within to locate this person.
I rose up into the sky intending to fly again and looked down at the house. I could not see anything but an outline of the rooftop and front yard. I remembered the growling dogs and swear I heard them barking at me. The feeling from the scene was that something was down there I should be wary of. I decided I wasn’t interested in exploring what that was.
I opted to give into my OBE and let myself be pulled up into the sky. I could feel myself surrender as I began to rise and spin faster and faster. My vision was in and out the whole time. Mostly I recall my intention, it was a warmth in my core that swirled as I spun around and around.
The scene went black and I settled down back inside the house. It was as if my HS was saying, “Look here.” I wasn’t interested in a repeat of the other OBE and so opted to shift back into my body. I lingered there in a very warm, peaceful state for a while.
After waking an Ed Sheeran song – Thinking Out Loud – was on my mind. I had heard it the morning before but I heard, “And darling I will be lovin’ you til we’re 70”. This time I heard a different part. This time I heard, “Maybe we found love right where we are.” Probably an answer to my search in the last OBE. 🙂
Considerations
The symbolism of the first OBE seems to be all about things not being as they seem. A swan starts out ugly but grows into a beautiful creature. Someone or something that may be initially unappealing can turn into quite the opposite. It is important not to prejudice a situation based upon appearance or surface value alone.
The second OBE seems to be more of an exploration. The truck was interesting. Perhaps there is a part of my “work” that I am not allowed to know yet? Then there is the whole section on the power lines. I suspect it could be symbolic of taking back my power, but I don’t know. I wish I could remember the phrase I was repeating over and over. It was a positive one but that is all I recall.
The final OBE seemed to be directing me to look at my mom’s house and that environment as well as the morphing faces of the people I encountered. Probably more lessons on things not being as they seem.
Overall, I feel I am being nudged to look right where I am for all I desire.
I’ve not been documenting many dreams lately because: 1. I am not remembering them and 2. I’ve not felt the urge/need when I do remember them. Since last weekend, however, my dreams have revved up and are becoming somewhat insightful/prophetic, at least for me. Add the continued increase in synchronicity and there is no ignoring the messages.
Dream: I’m Going to Marry Him
I recall walking outside near a road near my childhood home. There was a whole section of dream about “special” individuals who had spiritual gifts. I was one of them and so was another woman. We were staying together to learn how to use our gifts.
The main part I remember is when I was outside and saw a man with a shovel (insight, understanding of new Self) digging up a section of the land. I was helping I think. We uncovered a wide, white sidewalk (steady progress/direction in life) that stretched the length of the property. I remember seeing the man and recognizing him. He looked like the Hindu man from an early Kundalini dream where we attended a Hindu engagement ceremony. When I saw the man I was not physically attracted to him at all. He was older with deeply etched wrinkles on his face. As I watched him and contemplated my feelings toward him I reminded myself that looks were unimportant and feeling is what mattered. I did have a connection to him, an attraction, and as I watched him I remember saying, “I’m going to marry him.”
The dream ended with me looking at the white sidewalk and noting how very long it was. I saw another sidewalk parallel to it on my left that was only halfway uncovered. There was information being passed on at this time but I don’t remember it now.
Dream: Avoiding a Procedure
In this dream I was heading to a place that felt “good” over all. I was walking along the road to it and encountered a stop or intersection. There was a couple (relationship) in a truck (work) with two large dogs (protection). The dogs were romping around and I happily interacted with them feeling carefree and happy.
There was an old man (masculine aspect) on the side of the road wearing a backpack (decisions/responsibilities). His hair was white with streaks of gray and he was probably in his 60’s. The couple and I spoke to him. He said he had come to visit and never left and that was back in 1967. He mentioned he was from Virginia. I said something like, “It’s cold there this time of year, so it’s good you’re here.”
The couple left the truck and I sat inside with their full grown mentally retarded son (aspect that is feeling left out) who was tracing letters on a paper with a round object. He was doing well and I complimented him on it. The son sometimes looked full grown and other times like a boy. I remember singing a song, I think it was, “He’s got the whole world in his hands.” The boy and I sang it for a while, laughing as we tried to remember the correct words.
Eventually, I was inside a “hospital” (healing) setting where others were also. Again, we were spiritually gifted and there to help better understand the process. It felt like we were “test subjects” and I remember it being an honor. There were beds and televisions arranged along the walls in a clinic-type setting. Everyone was nice and it was pleasant overall.
There was a dream within a dream type situation where I was in the hospital but there was a fence (barrier, feeling fenced in) along the side and beyond the fence was a dark (unknown) forest (subconscious). I peeked through and saw lights which illuminated a military (emotional repression) truck (work). In this part of the dream I was trying to escape (avoidance) for some reason. A man was with me helping me and asking me to pay attention to the lights (clarity, guidance, illumination). The lights would flash like fireworks and during this part of the dream I became very lucid, but it didn’t last.
Then I was coming back to the facility but when I got inside I found my family had all left me behind (feeling left out). In this case, family was my mom and sisters. I called my brother on the phone and asked him where they all were. He said they had all been released. I said, “Good, then I can come home. What happened?” He paused and told me, “I don’t know what I can tell you. I had to sign lots of confidentiality paperwork.” This concerned me. I kept saying, “I’m coming home.”
As I was leaving a nurse (need to take time to heal) stopped me and said, “You need to stop taking your vitamin A.” I said, “Sure. Okay. No problem. That’s easy.” Then she said, “The E, too.” She seemed really intense though and I felt more of a need to leave then ever.
When I got to the last door another nurse stopped me. She had in her hand what looked like a large turkey baster. She was putting on gloves and said, “One more thing before you go….” I took one look at her and knew where she intended to put the thing. I said, “I don’t think so” and began to try and find the fastest route out of there.
Two other nurses came and began to corner me. One was saying, “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” Several times they had me and I got away, each time someone was saying something to me about how it was not that bad and I was making it out to be worse than it was. There were even “family members” telling me I had to do it and there was no avoiding it. All I could think of was how they wanted to stick that huge object where the sun don’t shine and that didn’t seem like fun to me. It seemed like they were going to give me an enima with it.
I managed to get out and sprinted past the truck from earlier in the dream and into a parking area where I saw a police car (seeking assistance). Thinking I could get help, I jumped inside the car. The police officer looked like a deer in headlights and didn’t move to help or anything. He shrunk up against the side of the car letting my pursuers get past him. I grabbed a tiny pistol (feeling defensive) the officer had in the car and aimed it at the nurses warning them I would shoot if I had to. At this point I was feeling that if they got me I was a goner. In my mind I was set against going with them at all costs but not sure why. It seemed like it was life or death for some reason.
I climbed out the other side of the car but the nurses had caught up to me, all of them dressed in their white lab coats which made them look sinister for some reason. I aimed the pistol and shot but all that came out was a tiny, “pffft” and a small cloud of smoke. The gun was worthless! My pursuers got hold of me, one on each arm and the other grabbed my legs. They dragged me back to the facility. The dream ended there.
When I woke up I was startled and wondering why I was so resistant in the dream. It felt like an ET-type dream where I was going to get some adjustments done. Usually I am very friendly and amicable about such situations.
Not long after I woke, I remember hearing a conversation in the in-between but can’t recall it now except for me saying “Only four” as in a number of spots.
Kundalini
Though the above dreams may not seem like much they come after several Kundalini and Kundalini-related dreams that I have not documented in this blog. To summarize, the Kundalini has been showing up in my dreams in a very obvious way. The first time it was welcomed but in the others I purposefully avoided it even after some prodding by dream characters. I’m not sure why I am avoidant, either. I thought I got past that long ago? Perhaps I just don’t want to go down that road again? Likely as that does not appeal to me. If someone were to offer me the powerfully attractive, blissgasm of the Kundalini right now I would say, “Nah. I’m good.” LOL
The first dream above is reminiscent of dreams I had prior to some major Kundalini episodes back in 2015-2016. The man was the exact same man. Who he is, I have no clue. Maybe just a representation of my masculine Self. He is plain looking with dark hair and medium skin tone and has a very Indian look about him. I suspect his reappearance has to do with yet another “clearing” by my friend the Kundalini.
My guess on the second dream is that I am witnessing the last remnants of my Ego trying desperately to hold onto what she can but not putting up much of a fight (thus the tiny, impotent pistol).
Crossroads
One more thing I meant to mention. Last Friday/Saturday we came to a “cosmic crossroads” so to speak – well some of us did, anyway. I received a heads up prior to Friday in a dream and later was shown a wall sliding across my line of sight, representing an impenetrable wall sealing the path behind me. I was told, “When one door closes, another opens.” That same day I ran into a blog post mentioning the 21st as a “point of no return” and then the next day another post citing the astrological significance of last weekend leading to us recognizing life’s “dead ends” and taking a new path forward.
I had a post partially typed out and ready for yesterday and then never finished it. Too much in my head and not enough time/energy/motivation/focus to write it all down.
Sleep has been super deep these last two nights. It’s as if I took a sleeping pill. And my sleep is riddled with dreams, so many I can’t keep count or keep the story lines from overlapping. For example, I had in my mind an entire dream I wanted to document for this post and within seconds it vanished from my memory. WTF? It’s like someone wiped it from my mind. 😦
At some point early this morning I had two OBEs but they were intermixed with my other dreams and since I did not wake after the OBEs is it hard to recall the second one.
OBE: Pick-Up Truck
I distinctly remember becoming lucid, recognizing I could go OOB and then sitting up out of my sleeping body. The sensation of separating from my physical body followed. All of perceptions were present but it was dark and I was not in my room but standing outside in a subdivision somewhere. I could see houses lining streets and lampposts lit. My first thought was to try and change it from darkness to daylight so I said, “It will be light. It will be light.” Nothing happened, though.
In front of me was a parked pick-up truck. When I saw it the mischievous part of me took over and I climbed into the back daring the person I saw sitting in the cab to turn and look. I suspected he would not see me so was surprised when he turned around and his faced revealed he could. I purposefully began to push and pull on the sides of the bed of the truck, making quite a bit of noise, all to see if I could get his attention.
He said something to me which shocked me and I shifted back into my sleeping body.
I immediately shifted back OOB and returned to the scene. This projection is hard to recall but I remember the man distinctly. He had dark hair and eyes and was very clean cut and familiar to me. It seemed like we knew each other but I can’t place how. It also felt like this person was OOB, too. It was as if we had planned our meeting. We had a conversation but there is no memory of it now.
Considerations
This is twice now that I have had two OBEs in what seems like the middle of the night. Usually I wake up after I go OOB for any length of time but I guess my sleep is so deep right now that I just shift back into dreaming mode. This is highly unusual for me! As a result I forget most if not all of the OBEs but retain the memory of leaving or re-entering my physical body. I am surprised I remembered so much of the first OBE last night but my lucidity was quite high as were my perceptions. It felt like I had woken, gone outside my house and played for a while only to return to sleep as if nothing had occurred. lol
Dream: Cocoon
Out of the blue the dream I had forgotten returned to my memory. 🙂
I was in a house in the kitchen (need for warmth, spiritual nourishment, healing) with a group. We looked up and saw the ceiling was beginning to crumble in a certain area. The area was just below my bedroom at the foot of my bed and I told the group this. We went upstairs to move myself and my roommate out, careful to avoid the area that was collapsing. We determined it had gotten wet from a leak but could not locate the source of the leak (Water damaged ceiling symbolizes unaddressed emotional issues).
I was told it would take 6 hours to repair the ceiling and relayed the message. Me and my group left to wait it out.
Then I was driving along dark, unfamiliar and winding roads (uncertain path) leading up a mountain (obstacles/challenges in life). My watch indicated it was nearly time to return home so I took a right (rational thought) turn toward the house. The road was steep and lined with rocks. I slowed and stopped by the side of the road to take photos (holding onto something). I remember getting out and taking a picture of my BIL and SIL. The rocks (looking for a solid foundation) behind them had faces (what one projects to the world), which was odd. Then I turned to take a picture of my mom and saw a witch (negative ideas of the feminine) with a green face had photobombed her pic. She looked just like the wicked witch of the East from the Wizard of Oz. It seemed odd to me and a bad sign.
We walked a path through the rocks that led to an abandoned city (feeling rejected by those around me). There was a sense that it was very old and I began taking photos (holding onto something, reliving memories) of the various buildings and pathways. One looked like an old factory (old ways of doing things) and another like a grown over vineyard (hard work not acknowledged).
I spotted a little boy (masculine attributes) and spoke to him but he seemed deaf, mute or both and looked horribly decrepit. He ran away and a woman appeared. She was nice and explained she was his caretaker. She told me he just needed to eat and then picked up a large bug and, like a spider (feminine power), encased it in thread. It looked like a cocoon (transformation) to me and I was horrified when she gave it to the boy and he devoured it savagely.
Realizing there was something very off about the situation I began to leave but members of my group were now investigating the place and had found a room that was curious to them. The woman went in and welcomed them and I followed.
The room resembled a chapel (spiritual nourishment) with no windows and dark, paneled walls and ceilings. There were overturned pews in the center of the room. There was discussion about how ancient the place was and then the woman invited my group to stay the night. They agreed.
When morning came the woman knocked on the door and then quickly slammed and locked it, trapping us inside. When I went to check the door she had inserted a shovel (seeking insight) loaded with dirt (trying to bury something) into the space between the door and the floor. I knew we would not get out and that her people planned to put all of us in cocoons and eat us.
Considerations
I believe this dream is a result of a thought I had yesterday about this time in my life. There was a fleeting consideration that I have entered the pupa stage, which would be the same as being inside a cocoon. I put it behind me because it made me sad. There is no telling how long I will be in this stage and it felt like it would be forever.
Living Life in Between 