Tag Archives: dreams

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Dream Themes: Owls and Dogs

 

I am still recovering from my last illness. It just lingers and lingers. Thankfully I do not feel ill, just annoyed to have random coughing episodes. My daughter and sons are also still coughing every once in a while, so I know it is just the illness lingering and not something more severe.

My husband is still out of town but plans to return by the 19th. I am looking forward to a break from being a single parent to three children, especially during the holiday season (Halloween, Thanksgiving and part of Christmas).

I suspect single parenthood is part of the reason I keep getting sick. Too much going on, not as much sleep, higher stress levels – just go, go, go all the time! Being on the go is part of my personality and natural rhythm but I also need time to unwind and de-stress, which I have not really gotten, at least not in the amount I prefer.

Meditation to Balance the Masculine and Feminine

I purchased a book called The Art of Making Sex Sacred. I have only read the first chapter but did a meditation from it that produced a bit of insight. The meditation focuses on the masculine and feminine sides of the Self. Each aspect brings forth information to help balance the two within.

I have done the meditation twice now, once last night and once this morning. The first time I didn’t have much success, probably because my kids were awake and making lots of noise. I was able to get a visual of the two aspects. The male aspect looked like a man but had on some kind of large mask. The female was dressed all in white. This morning I saw these visuals again. I could not see what the mask looked like which bothered me but the male was completely naked. I think the female wore a mask too and she was still dressed in all white, like a flowing gown.

I asked how I could bring my masculine and feminine more into balance. I knew that the masculine is often the dominant one in my personality and I felt that I needed to listen and allow the emotional, creative feminine to express herself more. I was taught to be a strong, independent woman, to distrust men, and that emotion is weakness. Then I got a moving visual of people singing and dancing. I even heard the music to an extent. It was drums I think. I knew the answer was to get my body moving. They call it ecstatic dance, which I had done once before.

So, yesterday, I opted to do a quick ecstatic dance, or dancing meditation. I searched YouTube and found one online that I really liked.

The woman really drew me in and the experience I had indicated that it would be good to continue to practice ecstatic dance at least once a week, maybe more. I felt a tiny release of emotion, mostly relief mixed with sadness, while I was dancing. It reminded me of the last time I participated in ecstatic dance – when I went to Tennessee in 2016.

Dream Themes Continue

I continue to have very vivid dreams and have been seeing a repeat of certain themes since the last dream theme of 12. Usually, when I recognize a theme is present and acknowledge the message it brings, the theme stops. This is what happened with the 12 theme and has also happened with the owl theme thus far. The dog theme has been on-going this month, though, and continues to recur. This could mean I have not yet grasped the meaning of the theme yet.

Dream: Early Ceremony

I was inside a house with a classmate from high school. I also recall another person being there who told me my ceremony (recognition for accomplishments) would be held early. I was given a necklace (a relationship) made of gold with a circle (wholeness, cycle of life) pendant. Inside the pendant was a single diamond (strength) that could be moved up and down. I remember holding it and showing my classmate but not putting it on. An entire speech was said prior to me getting the necklace but I can’t recall it now.

I then talked to my classmate asking her how it felt to be 48 years old. I somehow concluded that I was 47 and about to turn 48. It felt like the month of July for some reason. Not sure if there is significance to this dream but I suspect the message was that something important would occur prior to my 48th birthday.

Owl Theme: 12/7-8/19

Dreams: Owls

In the beginning of one dream I was walking down a path and interacted with various people and objects. In one part I was taking photos of flowers – one was a large sunflower(prosperity). In another part I was looking at owls (wisdom, intuition, psychic gifts) and other animals. I don’t remember much about the rest of this part now.

Then I had a dream of being with my BIL and his family visiting a very nice house for sale in AZ. The house (soul) was a hotel and cost $6 million. The owner was giving us a tour and I was walking through it talking about how nice it would be to own this house in the mountains. The house was like a maze (difficulties and setbacks), though, full of very elaborate furnishings and expensive things. Outside on the veranda was a large body of water that I later discovered was a pool. It was my favorite part.

I got separated from the family and so got lost and had to find my way back to them. I remember seeing the house from above. It was positioned on a plateau with many acres and was the grandest house in the area.

Then we were with my BIL’s family going on a vacation to AZ.  We drove along a dirt road. Cliffs were high on either side with partially built houses in them. We came to an opening and there was a lake on both sides with more houses along it’s banks. One was a huge chateau built into the stone along the lake. The water was very low but blue and clear (positive emotion). I remember mentioning how the road would likely flood when the water got high.

We were going to take a dirt bike tour and I was looking at the cost – $350 or something. We got out of the car and walked a while and my BIL (masculine aspect), who was very dirty, jumped into the water to clean off only the water was very muddy (clouded emotion). I remember seeing an option to go visit the cave dwellings and mentioned doing that before the dirt bikes that would be at 1pm. I also said we could do it the next day. My BIL had to be back to work by Monday, so that didn’t happen.

Then the dream shifted and I was with my Mom at a ranch somewhere in west Texas. We were talking about buying it. I remember saying the mountains were perfect – not too high or too low. The people who previously owned the ranch had animals. I remember she had a baby owl that she raised to adulthood. It flew onto my arm and it looked to have cat (feminine sexuality) ears. I recall being shown it was raise along side a Cougar (feminine desire) and they played roughly together. Very odd!

Dog Theme: 12/10/19

Dream: Peeing Dog

The start of the dream was outside near a pool (cleansing) that was so green with algae (risks, unforeseen problems) that it looked more like a pond. There were people swimming in it and I remember thinking of how difficult it would be to clean the pool. I was also concerned that the pool was toxic. I can’t remember if I was in it or not but amidst the pool memories I recall being in my old bedroom at my moms, the room I occupied while I was in high school.

Then I was walking a dog (protection) that resembled my dog Trooper. We went into a house or apartment that I knew was the home of a my friend Yvonne. My dog suddenly acted like he needed to poop and decided to stop near Yvonne’s sofa table. I tried to pull him off the white, furry rug but he squatted and began to poop anyway. What came out was not poop, though, but a stream of clear water (clear emotion). He then decided to walk as he pooped/peed and left a trail of the stuff across the living room. I could hear Yvonne in the other room teaching a class so I tried to be quiet as I cleaned up as much of the mess as I could. I remember the pee smelled odd. It didn’t smell like poop or pee. I hoped Yvonne wouldn’t notice as I took my dog out of the home quickly.

Note: The next morning my friend Yvonne had tons of posting on Instagram and one was about a walk-in meet-up next summer. Yvonne rarely posts on Instagram and this was the first post I had seen in over a year. Coincidence? Not likely! Similarly, the ecstatic dance coincides with Yvonne and the walk-in group as well. Ha!

Dream: Shifting Dog

In this dream I was driving somewhere along a highway (path in life) when I noticed my dog chasing my car and not giving up no matter how fast I drove. Worried he would exhaust himself or get run over, I pulled off onto the feeder road and stopped the car. At this time he morphed from an Aussie into a tiny wiener dog (be persistent, don’t dally). I stuffed him into my coat and then got into my truck (hard work) where I put him in the tiny back seat.

Then I drove and drove until I reached a very busy highway intersection with ramps that went very high into the air (ascending spirituality). It felt like a hub of some sort. I was looking at a GPS as I walked around trying to decide which ramp to take. Somehow I lost my car and was on foot but I don’t remember when this happened.

I began to walk up a very steep ramp along with many other people. My dog was with me in my arms. As I walked the GPS said, “Take ramp 2” and then said, “Recalculating” indicating that I had taken the wrong ramp. I remember thinking, “I can’t back up on a one-way ramp” but then realizing I was on foot (my individual path) and I could turn around and go back. I walked a bit back toward the bottom and then tried to jump over to ramp 2 when I saw a large space between the two ramps and a drop far down to the ground that would kill me if I fell. So I continued to walk down further. I climbed over the rail (barrier to progress) to get to ramp 2 without any issue. Someone commented that it was unusual to jump over the rails and I responded that I had to get over there.

Then my dog was loose, the wiener dog, and an older couple was reacting with surprise. I went after him and he morphed into a tiny baby (new ideas, new potential) and jumped into the space between the ramps that should have been a drop but instead was water. I watched as the baby floated in the water for a little while feeling at first like I couldn’t move to go rescue him. Then I felt able to move and swooped in and picked him up. I asked him why he jumped in and he said, “So you could rescue me.”

The dream continues with me walking up the correct ramp. I saw a mother and her daughter discussing the many places to visit in the city the ramp led to. I saw a map with various colleges and the daughter pointed to a stadium at a college saying she was going to visit. I commented that I would never attend such a big university in a big city like that – too many people and I don’t like people very much.

Then I recall being inside a building where there were many people milling about looking at various pamphlets for colleges and universities in the area. Along the sides of the room were people sitting at desks with PCs. I remember noticing that others in my group were absent and then remembering that they were on their college day and that I had taken my day the day before.

Considerations

Overall, my dreams seem to be pointing at me doing more inner work and healing. Along with the illnesses I have been dealing with it could be that I am undergoing a massive physical and emotional clearing in preparation for something to come.

The dog symbol could be a reminder to stay protected or that I am protected. The dogs that morph go from a dog in my past to an unknown dog to a baby. This in itself seems to point to clearing up issues from the past, seizing the moment and “rescuing” ideas and potential that may have been lost or forgotten.

The owl has long been my totem. I have had real-life encounters with the Great Horned Owl throughout my life but most of my encounters have been in dream time since my awakening. I find it curious that I saw the owl as having “cat ears”. My guess is I was seeing a Great Horned Owl who looked to have cat ears. Also, cats tend to be a common theme of mine indicating feminine power and sexuality. So perhaps I am being advised to listen to my intuition and dreams (owls) and stop denying my feminine power (cats)?

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Round Three

Before I begin – Happy Thanksgiving to my readers in the U.S.! Wishing you a wonderful day with family and friends.

Unfortunately for me, I am spending this Thanksgiving holiday recovering from another round of illness. Right when I was starting to feel somewhat recovered from the flu my daughter came home from school feeling under the weather. Her symptoms were a headache, dry cough and fatigue. A couple of days later, I began to cough, too and the next day woke with a mild fever, horrible headache and all-over body aches. That same day I started my period (of course, right?). lol

All week I have been battling whatever this wonderful coughing illness alongside my daughter. Yesterday, my oldest son had a fever and coughing, too. 😦 So far my youngest has been spared.

I believe this new virus is RSV which is going around alongside the common cold, the stomach bug, strep throat and various strains of the flu. It typically lasts a week, sometimes longer. So that means I am at day 4 and my daughter is nearly over it. I can already tell today that is has nearly run its course because I am feeling much better compared to the last few days.

As a result of being sick I’ve been sleeping very good and for much longer than I usually do. Plus, with Thanksgiving break lasting a whole week there is no waking early to get the kids on the bus. It is has been really nice! This morning I slept until 8:30am! 🙂

Healing and Dreams

I haven’t been keeping track of my dreams this week but do remember having strong energy in my solar plexus and heart a couple of times. My guess is it is more healing of which I am very grateful! I suspect my recent illnesses go hand-in-hand with some clearing.

Last night I had a very intense dream. I don’t recall too much of it as it seemed to span the entire night, but I remember enough.

In the dream I was at a large house visiting a family. I somehow knew the three children living in the house were mine but they did not resemble my kids in this lifetime. Their parents were a nice couple. The man was older and Hispanic. The woman I don’t recall much about. I believe the story was that I gave the couple custody of my children but I believe the reality was that I was reviewing another lifetime or time track and merely recognized the individuals as people I loved and felt a strong connection to.

I have memory of talking to the daughter who had long, dark hair and was very beautiful. I commented on her teeth and asked her if she was going to get braces. I also told her how beautiful she was. Again, she felt like my daughter but at the same time as if I was merely transferring the love I have for my own daughter to her.

There was a flash of a memory from this lifetime and I told the girl about it. The memory was from when my daughter turned 4 years old. I made her a special castle cake with fondant and everything and threw her a really big party. The memory brought on sudden emotion. Mostly I felt like I could never recover that time and there was a sadness for not enjoying those moments more. I cried from the loss and regret. My heart felt heavy and my entire body shuddered in response to my grief.

I remember telling someone about a decision I had made to return a favor to someone who had helped me out in another lifetime. I married this man despite knowing he would not be the love of my life, though I acknowledged that I did love him. The purpose was to allow him to be the one who made the money to support our family. In the previous lifetime I had been the one to take care of him, so we were switching places. When I described this I felt a surge of emotion hit me. My emotions were mixed. Some of it was extreme loyalty, some of it was love, some of it was gratitude. Along with the emotion was a consideration, a quiet thought from within that asked, “Maybe I am talking about my husband in this lifetime?” And there was a realization that I struggled with allowing him to take care of me.

Then my focus went back on the adoptive parents of my children. The father was ill and I was suddenly overwhelmed with the consideration that I would have to take care of my children by myself because the woman could not do it. I began to tell someone how I was not prepared, that at my age I should be able to take care of my children but could not. I mentioned how unprepared I felt and why. It was a very helpless, fearful feeling, like one feels when they turn 18 and have to make it on their own.

The last thing I recall is walking into the house and seeing my son. I went up to give him a hug and he rejected me. I knew he was autistic and avoided touching others so suggested, “Maybe just a tap on the shoulder then?” His response was to tap himself on the shoulder. lol I turned away from him and began to cry uncontrollably. Again, I was overwhelmed with emotion. This time it was mostly that I felt grief over the loss of a child and upset over knowing I would never receive love from him in the way I desired it. I felt rejection, disappointment and intense sorrow.

The grief woke me. My entire body was affected. It reminded me of the intense emotion I felt at the end of 2016. Perhaps my heart was opening again? If so, then it is a good thing. I just have to get through the barrage of emotion, emotion I have blocked out in order to protect myself.

My best guess is that I was being shown how every child on Earth is my child. Every husband is my husband. Every wife is me. And so on and so forth. In being shown this, I identified with and took on the emotions of them all.

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Kundalini Healing

I’ve been sick for a few days now with what I think is the flu. 😦 It has been bearable with a low grade fever, slight body aches, headache and tiny bit of congestion. Last night, though, it seemed to get worse and I went to bed with a fever and a horrible headache that Ibuprofen did not alleviate.

As I shifted into sleep, my headache kept waking me up and I felt really cold and uncomfortable. I requested healing, not expecting much of anything to happen. To my surprise, as soon as I asked, an energy spread quickly over my entire body. The energy was similar to what I have always called energy “hugs” but much more pronounced. The energy originated in my spine, in the center of my body just below my rib cage, and spread in waves up and down my body. When the energy got to my head and feet respectively it would shoot back toward the center of my body only to return back to my head and feet. The waves were so relaxing – but that was not the best part. The energy erased all pain from my body COMPLETELY. It was such a relief! No headache. No body aches. No chills.

The energy remained for a while and then slowly subsided. My headache and other aches and pains stayed away and I fell asleep.

I woke at least five more times throughout the night for various reasons. Usually the headache was back or I would feel uncomfortable or just generally unwell. Each time I requested healing and each time the energy waves would come, erase all pain, and I would fall back to sleep.

Fascinated, I recall considering what was happening and ended up dreaming about the answer.

Dream: Healing Trinity

I remember being shown three healing lines. They came together to form an arched inverted triangle. The triangle was gold and brilliant. When I saw it I knew that it’s purpose was healing. For some reason I attributed each of the lines to the trinity, pointing to each line and naming them – Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

Then I was at my Mom’s house explaining to her what I had learned. I was relieved and happy. My Mom then mentioned a man who kept coming to the house. He had been told to stop coming so he would send others in his place to tend to a pet he kept there, which was his excuse to keep coming. My mom told me to be careful of him because he was acting like a “stalker”.

Eventually I met the man. He had recently left the Army and was struggling to make ends meet. He was young, with dark hair and somewhat familiar. He had with him a book he was creating full of illustrations. He opened one page to show me that he had included my information on the healing trinity in it. I was shocked that he had included it without first asking me. When I looked at it, though, he had changed the drawing so that the trinity was filled with stones and resembled a stone wall.

The man spent much of the dream staring into space, What was odd is I could hear his thoughts. He was stressing over things in his life and not paying much attention to anything else. I psychically began to pick up on stuff for him and asked him, “Do you have a balloon mortgage?” He said, “Yeah, I do.” I told him, “You need to be careful with that.” He said, “Yeah, I know,” and acted a bit defensive. He made excuses, specifically that he could not find appropriate work. I suggested he work with his hands and we discussed him mowing lawns and providing handyman services. I remember feeling sad for him as the dream ended.

The last thing I said to him was, “Focus on your heart when you meditate.” He looked at me strangely.

As I woke I was thinking or hearing (not sure which), “Don’t be surprised if you have a huge heart opening.”

Considerations

When I woke I still had a headache but it was slight. The minute I began to think about how uncomfortable it was, the energy manifested, spreading up and down my spine and wrapping me in bliss. The pain vanished and I lay there thinking how amazing it was. It felt just like I had been given a strong pain reliever only it was energetic. I didn’t think such a thing was possible! But then, why not?

The dream I had seems to indicate the energy has to do with the trinity somehow. I have received similar messages in the past but never quite fully understood why.

An occult description of the Caduceus of Hermes (Mercury) is that the serpents represent positive and negative charges of kundalini as it moves through the chakras and around the spine (the staff) to the head where conscious perception occurs, the domain of Mercury the messenger. The wings of Hermes represent consciousness or Spirit. The “flow” signifies consciousness and perception–for no flow, means no lifeforce. Spiritual evolution is an ever increasing relationship with the neutral ground between the play of opposites. The Trinity is also observable in the caduceus: the helix is the Son (matter), the staff is the Father (zero-point ground) and the wings are the Holy Ghost (tangible perception of spirit). From Biology of Kundalini 

My guidance was using the trinity to explain the healing I was receiving. Did they mean that I was able to experience this instant reduction in pain because the three components – matter, zero-point ground and tangible perception of spirit – were present? Maybe?

I did not quite understand what was meant by zero-point ground. This was the explanation:

At the ground of matter there is the Quantum Field, or Void, Vacuum, Zero-point Energy. At the ground of mind and thought there is Sunyata, Emptiness, Void, Absolute Unity Being.

Whatever the meaning, I am happy to know that the trinity was present within me enough to give me relief from the pain of illness. And although I still have lingering symptoms today, I feel like I am recovering little by little.

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Kundalini Dream: Plane Romance

The last two nights I have had trouble falling to sleep. Last night it was because of having to cough. When the weather turns cold like it did recently, dropping 25 degrees in a few hours, my allergies tend to flare up causing my eyes to water, my nose to run and my throat to tickle from all the post nasal drip. The general sense I get, though, is that my sleeplessness is also from the full moon energies right now which feel pretty intense.

I had an interesting dream that woke me this morning.

Dream: Plane Romance

I was on a very large airplane (goals materializing, advancement or rising about troubles/problems) with lots of other people. I sat in a row that had many more seats than I a normal plane would. There was someone walking up and down the isle calling names from a list. It felt like we all worked together and the names were being called for the person to report or maybe get a reward or both. I can’t remember.

I sat two seats from the isle where the man was walking. There was a man next to me who was attractive but I don’t remember much about what he looked like. He was clean cut, though, with short hair that was either blonde or light brown, and had a very ordinary face, almost boyish looking.

There was a sense that he and I knew each other well and it was not long before he hugged me and we began to kiss. I could feel my lower chakras explode in a pleasurable sensation and for some reason I felt fear or concern over this and pulled away. I then left him behind and went searching for my blanket (protection). I walked all over looking for it and began to ask people if they had seen it. One woman asked what it looked like and I could not remember what color it was, only that it was big. As I told her I thought it was blue I saw a bunch of blue blankets all around me but none of them was mine.

Eventually I returned back to my seat awaiting the calling of my name, which I never heard called in the dream. The man was still there and he turned to me and pulled me to him, wrapping his arms loosely around my waist. I looked up at him, he was about a foot taller than me, and said, “I’m sorry I pulled away. The feeling you give me scares me.” He looked pensive for a moment and then said, “Oh, that’s interesting.” For a moment it seemed like he did not know what to make of what I had just told him. I got a sense that his experience wasn’t like mine.

We began to kiss again and the experience was very real, causing an increase in lucidity. I could feel him pressing himself into my hips and upper leg. My lower chakras began to erupt in a pleasurable way.

There was a loud sound, like a thump, and I jumped back for a moment. My thought at this time was that someone might see us and we would be found out. I was worried about this for some reason.

We continued to kiss passionately and my lower chakras expanded as an energy started traveling slowly upward. My second chakra seemed huge and I could feel energy entering my solar plexus.

The intensity of the energy woke me and I lingered in bed for some time feeling the strong energy in my first two chakras. I took a moment to imagine the energy rising up my spine to better distribute the energy. This helped and soon everything balanced out.

Considerations

It seems that I am resisting the K rising at this time. It is odd that my fear of being “found out” has returned. I thought I had resolved that. I use to feel very guilty about my dream “flings” and then shifted into a full acceptance of them. Once I fully accepted the experience the K was able to rise. I know I made a decision not long ago that I should stay away from the very intense, sexual K energy because it was not helpful and seemed to cause a kind of obsessiveness with it. But perhaps I need to undo that decision? Resistance is never helpful with the K. It only creates problems – physical and/or emotional – and leads to delays.

I was reminded of something I recently read in Bonnie Greenwell’s book, The Kundalini Guide. In it she mentions how the lower chakras can feel especially sexual and intense. She says some teachings suggest those who have intense energy in the second chakra tell students to go out and get it out of their system. She doesn’t really agree with this, instead she suggests using gentle practices to encourage the energy to move upward. It is clear, though, that avoidance will not help regardless.

The blanket part of the dream is interesting to me. I seem intent on finding mine. Lately I have had many dreams and OBEs with blankets in them. They seem to symbolize protection or something that provides security and comfort. When I woke and was thinking of this my guidance told me, “You don’t need that (the blanket). You are always protected.”

It is strange to me that I would think I need protection from the intensely sexual energy I was feeling. Why does it scare me? When I have felt the energy in the past I have had considerations that it is “bad” or “sinful” and that “nothing good comes from it.” My guess is that I have had past lives where this feeling/energy consumed me and caused me to respond to it in negative ways with poor life choices. I do know I have killed myself in at least two other lives because of feelings arising out of such intense sensations.

It reminds me of the early time prior to my first major rising of the K when I had many dreams and OBEs where I would be confronting this HUGE energy and avoiding it out of fear that it would “take over” or be the end of me. Over time this subsided and I shifted to embracing the energy, which did not kill me as I felt it would. So it is likely this fear is unfounded and won’t last long. Once I embrace the energy/feeling, it will transform as it is meant to.

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OBE: Impressionable

It has been an eventful few days. It feels like some major shifts are underway, and not just energetically.

First, I’ve had some developments in terms of my spiritual services. For the first time in a while I did a session in my own home. I smudged the entire home first and then set up an area downstairs. The energy felt very good and balanced and the session went well. With my children gone at school all day I can return to offering my services in-person and so this was the first step in doing that.

Another interesting development was that yesterday I was offered a part-time personal training job at the YMCA. I applied back at the end of September and out of the blue they called, interviewed and offered me a job on the spot. I have yet to receive the paperwork I need to complete but feel like this is an opportunity to go in a new direction if I want.

Spiritually, yesterday I felt strong energy in my third-eye. It has been such a long time since I have experienced that, so it was nice! I have been feeling less and less anxious, too, which is wonderful and could indicate a successful clearing of a stubborn blockage.

Then last night I had an unexpected OBE followed by a dream where I was given a message.

OBE: Impressionable

I had a few exits from my body. When I exited the first time, I went out my bedroom door and was pull right back into my body. The second time I felt like I had blankets wrapped around my feet. I kicked them off and headed out into the hallway. I tried to look at my hands to solidify my energy, but couldn’t see them. My vision would not turn on. My energy felt odd, too – not heavy, not unstable, just different. I remained in this portion of the astral for a while but I don’t remember much now. I think I ran into my middle son, though. I also believe I made it outside because that is where I was when I went back to my body.

On my third exit I came out of my body feeling much more stable. I could see but it was dark in my bedroom. I moved through the hallway and down the stairs where I encountered my sons. They were very active, like flying in zigzags around me similar to how they act when they are playing. I invited them to come outside with me and they did.

Outside it was dark and unfamiliar. The streets were there but not in the right place. I recall walking down the street with my son when I saw a young man walking toward us. He had on a hooded sweatshirt and was no one I knew. I approached him and asked him who he was. I suspected he was not real but when he responded intelligently I remember correcting myself aloud saying, “Oh, you aren’t a ghost” or something similar.

Then a strange looking vehicle came to pick up the young man. It was triangle shaped and low to the ground. The top of the triangle was the roof and it was flat. I jumped on top of it and sat down, noticing the two doors hinged open, connected the the top. I said, “Wow! We must be in the future!” I don’t recall if the vehicle had wheels. I don’t think so.

Then my vision began to fade out and I felt like I was going to go back to my body. I didn’t want this so remember talking to myself about how to get more stable. I began to look up at the sky, which I couldn’t see, and tell myself how I controlled my experience. I said, “The sky is beautiful” and imagined a colorful sunrise/sunset with oranges and yellows, fluffy clouds, etc. To my surprise the picture manifested, chasing away the darkness. I floated face up there a while marveling at the sky.

To my surprise, my vision blacked out for a while and I felt myself making a shift. When my vision returned I was inside a room full of individual, divided desks like you would see at a testing center. Some of the desks had people sitting at them. I walked around the room, seemingly talking to myself about whether I had time to do what I needed to and decisions that needed to be made. I can’t recall now what it was, though. It felt like I was being asked to make an appointment. Maybe to take a test or be evaluated? Whatever it was, it felt like I was seeking counsel.

The room layout had the desks in a U-shaped format and as I walked back around to the start of it I encountered a woman sitting at a desk. Her location in the room made her seem like a proctor or at the very least a teacher. When I saw her my entire OBE solidified instantly. Her face became the focal point, crystal clear in my vision to the point that I do not even remember her having a body. When I saw her I studied her face a while and thought to myself, “I know her.” She was about my age, plain looking with her brown hair pulled back tightly around her face. Her face was oval with a prominent chin. She had brown eyes and thin lips.

She spoke to me. “You’re impressionable,” she said matter-of-factly. I was still staring at her marveling at how crystal clear she was and how real the experience was.

A female voice from behind me said, “You’re suppose to be here to help.” I glanced behind me and saw the voice came from a student dressed in plain clothing that looked like a uniform.

I responded to both of them with, “I’m definitely not very welcoming.” I smiled, laughing a bit but they did not laugh. Realizing this was “serious” I focused back on the woman.

She said to me, “You still have a little time left.” As she said this, she turned to a bulletin board as if showing me something, but I didn’t look at the board so I don’t know if it had any information on it pertaining to me.

I woke not long after the last message. I returned to my body slowly and recall not resisting it. A part of me wanted to wake up.

Message

It was 4:30am. I couldn’t return to sleep after that. There was more to the words throughout this interaction. Most of it was unsaid; telepathic. I was going over and over the memory. I knew I needed to remember.

When I was told I was impressionable I felt like it had to do with life distracting me. Physical life changes my personality. I go from free-loving, free-flowing, open and positive to overly serious and easily bogged down by things that are not really important. However, upon further inspection, it could have been that she wanted me to know that I am open or receptive right now.

When I was reminded that I am here to help, I recall thinking I was suppose to be “welcoming” others to Earth. There was more a feeling of this than a thought. A visual comes to mind. I am standing, waiting at the threshold between the old and the new Earth. People come through this opening or gate and I welcome them. These people are just waking up. It feels like my job is to greet and direct them on to their destination. I knew I was not doing a good job of it, which is why I laughed saying I was not very welcoming.

I am then reminded that I chose to stay a bit longer. My previous dream comes to mind where I felt I was given an option to stay here and continue this life/work or go to a healing place and resume my work as a teacher. How much time “a little time” is, I don’t know.

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Dream: Godmother

Somehow I managed to fall asleep and entered into a semi-lucid dream at my grandparent’s old house. Inside it looked more like a doctor’s office, though. I was taken to a room, which had a patient chair draped in white, and directed to lay on it. I did as I was told. An older woman with gray hair entered the room. I called her by name but all I remember of the name is “Godmother”. The woman began to tell me things about another person, things I needed to know in order to help them. The person was male but she never gave a name. She told me that he was likely to fixate on something. All I remember of the details are images that resembled a calendar with weeks highlighted. It felt like he would be fixated on something for weeks. I remember feeling a bit out of it during this time, like I was in a trance or like I was not meant to remember the details so my memory was wiped or a block was placed.

The woman left and I realized she had never told me his name. I got up and followed her. When I saw her I tapped her on the back to get her attention. When she turned around she looked different, old and gray but different, but I knew it was still her. I said, “What is his name? You never told me his name?” She said, “How should I know?” I said, “How am I suppose to help him if I don’t know his name?” She never answered and I shifted into another dream.

 

 

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Messages: You are Resilient. Invoke the Violet Flame.

The last few days the energy seems to have evened out somewhat. There was a shift a couple of days ago and ever since the theme for me has been healing, cleansing and purification.

Message: You Are Resilient

Yesterday morning I awoke at around 5am and then lingered in the in-between for quite some time.

I remember feeling vibrations deep within my core. They were very slight but noticeable and I felt them slowly moving upward chakra by chakra. When they got to my solar plexus I looked closer and saw what looked like a slug or leech. I remember surrounding it with Light and imagining it extinguished and it disappeared. Then the vibrations moved up and before I knew it they were in my head. Very subtle but there.

The whole time I was talking with someone, a guide I guess, and he was telling me how resilient I am. He said, “You are resilient. I love you for your resilience.” The day before, out of the blue, I felt this love and had a visual of my face being caressed and looking so peaceful and relaxed. A message came through that I was loved and everything would be alright. The sender of both messages felt to be the same.

Then there is memory of a young man with dark hair and a very energetic spirit. He approached me, called me Becca and told me his name was Jeremy. I remember recognizing his energy and becoming alarmed because I had not expected to run into this specific person again. I also wondered why he was so young and why he was calling me by another name.

The young man was showing me all the ways he loved me. I saw four pages as if from a book but they were spread out like the four directions, floating mid-air with writing on them. He told me, “How do I love you? Let me count the ways.” I remember feeling love for him, too, a romantic soul deep love.

What he was saying to me came from a poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise,
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints -I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Message: Invoke the Violet Flame

I had a dream that seemed to span the entire night. In the beginning of the dream I was waiting for a coworker – another teacher – to be ready to move forward with something we were going to do together. This coworker kept changing their mind and I remember feeling like they were holding me back. I think, also, that someone told me, “Don’t let them hold you back.”

There is an entire scene where I get tired of waiting and fly off the balcony over a busy highway, but only one side of the highway is busy (the side going right), the other is clear (the side going left). I know the cause of the traffic is an accident. I enter into a car where another person is waiting for me and we drive away in the opposite direction of the traffic.

Then I was being led through a very special school located “South”. The layout was unconventional with each classroom being separate from the others and courtyards connecting them all. The courtyards had gardens, pools, trees and wide open spaces. I remember talking to the principal who introduced me to many of the teachers. I went into classrooms to observe and recall discussing how special the place was. Everyone I spoke to seemed to want me to stay there, to work alongside them helping the children. I knew it was a healing place.

I lingered in one classroom and spoke to a teacher there for a while. Each student worked at their own pace and had so much more freedom than the conventional student. One of the students in particular was discussed – how she took longer on assignments than the other students but how it didn’t matter because they all worked at their own paces. All students were treated the same. It was made clear to me that I was wanted there, that I would be an asset. I was asked at least three times to come work there. I felt a call to stay. I felt needed but I also felt drawn to be there, like I belonged. And I wanted to help them – the students. Each of them was precious to me. I loved them all.

A teacher approached me, asking me if I would like to stay. I told her I couldn’t. In my mind I saw my family and obligations to them and knew I couldn’t stay there. The woman opened her arms and pulled me close to her. I felt she was like me and that she intended to heal me. She said, “Invoke the Violet Flame.” Instantly I could feel this energy wrap around me like a blanket. The feeling made me cry.

At one point it began to rain (purification) and I watched a student jump head first into a swimming pool. I reached in and pulled something out – like a heavy weight (burdens of life) – and she floated to the top, unharmed.

As I got closer to the end of the dream I was being led down a hallway by a woman. I remember wanting to stay but knowing I had to leave. The hallway led away from the school and was very long and bright gold in color. I could not see what was at the end.

As we walked we passed by a woman who was standing in front of a stroller with two babies – twins – in it. They appeared alive at first but then seemed to be doll-like and unreal. The woman was crying and very upset, wailing about how they had not come for them yet. She kept repeating, “Why have they not come for them yet?” When I spoke to her she said her twins had died in an accident and “they just left them here”. I turned around and hugged her close saying to her, “Don’t worry. You will have your chance to grieve.” My heart was overflowing with sympathy for this woman and her grief became my own. I burst into tears and woke up.

Considerations

When I woke from the second dream it felt as if I had been given a choice – I could choose to stay in that healing place, teaching and helping the children there, or I could return to my life and my family and obligations on Earth. I am fairly certain that I was taken to the Other Side, to be shown my “work” when I am not on Earth. The draw to stay was strong but my duties here on Earth were stronger.

The healing from the woman was distinct as was her message about the Violet Flame. I intend to use it more frequently now.

The woman who was waiting for her twins to be taken and the grief she felt seemed to mirror my own grief. I told her not to worry, that she would get a chance to grieve. It makes me wonder if that message was meant for me.

In other dreams and OBEs I have been drawn to working with the children and babies. In one OBE, I was taken to a “hub” where people who had died were standing in line to be sent off to their next destination. I recall being distracted by a section that was full of children and babies and their caretakers. It had a playground and everything. I went over to one of the caretakers who was holding an infant in her arms and felt immense joy at the thought of working with the children.

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Dream “Shake-Up”

I felt unsettled last night. I kept waking up and when I did sleep it was quite light.

Dream: Shake-Up

In this dream I was with a few other people inside a large building that housed an empty indoor pool. My memory is hazy but I was being asked to hurry and go with them back to school, but I turned around and told them I had to get something. I ran across the empty pool, from the deep to the shallow end, and went inside a room. The room looked to be a bedroom and I thought of it as the room of my sister. My intention was to go through her stash of snacks.

When I got to her dresser and opened the drawer I started grabbing snacks by the handful, specifically looking for chocolate. I recall seeing a bag of cigarettes. The boxes were completely white with no markings but I knew that was what they were. I left them alone, took a bunch of sugary snacks and left.

I recall the walk across the empty pool took longer than I expected. It was enormous! As I got to my friends waiting on the deep end they pointed behind me. When I turned and looked I saw two people coming out of the back door I had just come through. I knew to hurry up and get away from them. For some reason one of them, the man, felt like the principal and I felt like I had done something wrong.

When I reached the other side a female friend and I began to walk along a sidewalk. She spoke to me about all the classwork I had missed and would need to make up. I responded that I thought that I could make it up since I had been sick. She seemed to indicate that I was faking and I told her, “Well I am back now aren’t I?” I remember that I had come back to school after being gone for a very long time – months maybe. The assignment we were talking about came into my mind as a visual of popcorn. It was odd.

At one point the woman got upset with me. She put her hands on my shoulders and began to shake me while saying, “You need to stop prostituting yourself!” The shaking was vigorous but what she said is what got my attention the most. I woke up.

When I woke I felt weird. I was laying on my left side and so turned to lay on my back. It seemed to me like the shaking was a warning that my guidance cannot do anything to help me if I don’t help myself. My heart was skipping beats and I think I was feeling residual energy and vibrations at the same time. It was not a comfortable feeling so I got up to use the bathroom, got back in bed and tried to settle down.

Also, there was another shaking episode before this but I don’t remember anything except the sense of being shaken.

Dream: Hospital Treatment

I entered into another dream where I found myself inside a hospital waiting to see the doctor. There was memory of recently having gone through a procedure related to my heart. I remember hearing people discussing my case but can’t recall specifics. I felt somewhat out of it, like in a daze – how I suspect someone would feel who just got told they had a terminal illness. All I wanted to do was find a bed and go to sleep.

I lingered near a shelf full of pills and vitamins and picked up a large bottle. I remember thinking it was massive and was what the doctor had prescribed me. I also knew I would have to take them the rest of my life. The bottle ended up empty except for two pills – one was a multi-mineral pill (large and speckled) and the other looked like a B-complex (small and yellow). I actually spit them out into the bottle after it seemed like I had taken the entire bottle of pills at one time.

A woman called to speak to me about a future appointment on the 22nd. She was a counselor and had been away on vacation but was returning and reminding me of our Tues appointment at 3:15. She asked if I would be there and I told her I had a dentist appointment at 3:30.

Considerations

The first dream is the one that sticks with me the most. Not only did I physically feel the woman shaking me but what she said bothers me. What does “prostituting” ones self mean in a dream context? Was she suggesting that I am giving away my power? Or was it literally about me using my body as a means to gain from my husband a false sense of security? Probably both. Typical of my guides to just say it like it is but to shake me, too. Damn!

The empty pool means feeling devoid of emotion or it might indicate that past mistakes will not be repeated. It can be also that the cleansing or healing “pool” has dried up. The sweets are me focusing on the good things in life or seeking them out. Cigarettes are sources of toxicity in my life. Thankfully, I choose to leave them. The popcorn represents good fortune or a windfall. My missing school and pretending to be sick, indicates I am avoiding something or that my symptoms have been self-created to avoid something – the windfall perhaps?

In the second dream I am being told some important news about the state of my “health” in this case most likely spiritual but it could also be physical. This could be a worry dream as well. The pills are problem solving and the struggle to resolve one or more issues. The appointment could be symbolic of the conflict I am experiencing – get counseling (work on myself) or go to dentist (handle problems first).

Crazy, Bi-Polar Energy

All I can say about the energy since August is WTF Universe? I had one day – ONE DAY – where I felt good and optimistic and now it seems like the energy is shifting up, down, up, down, and even sideways.

Yesterday, it felt like the energy was literally pushing me, like forceful, but toward what? I have no idea but it came with that feeling like the other shoe is about to drop. Yay – love that feeling…not. Then towards evening it all just calmed down and leveled out.

This morning after being shaken twice in the night and having the above dreams I felt slightly anxious, but it settled within a couple of hours after waking. The energy feels lower today, like it is heading into another build-up.

This is what I perceive about all this crazy bipolar energy that wants to PUSH. It reminds me of the energy in 2016, actually. It is saying, “Clean your shit UP!” And those of us (like me) who hate cleaning or have been in avoidance all this time or distracted by life are feeling the push the most.

I like to think I have my shit together when it comes to my life path/mission, but I don’t. My guidance likes to remind me to “follow the 8 Winds (of Buddhism)” and they recently nudged me again. I have been learning all about how to not seek out pleasure and I think I have learned that lesson pretty well since 2015 (pats self on back), but it occurred to me that I am failing at the other half, which is to NOT avoid pain and discomfort. It isn’t saying to jump head first into pain and discomfort, just to be open to experiencing it. I think I might be the Queen of avoidance of anything painful and uncomfortable. My guidance has their work cut out for them.

Probably why they are shaking me……

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OBE: Flooding

It’s been cold here in Texas with temperatures dropping overnight, the high’s went from the 90’s to the 50’s. Typical for Texas Fall weather but always a shock when it happens.

Thankfully, the cooler weather makes perfect running weather. My husband and I took a nice, easy, 3.2 mile run together and I experienced no heart speed-ups or panic. I felt wonderful afterward. 🙂

In general I’ve been feeling much better than I was in August and September. I’m sleeping really well and my dream experiences have been mostly positive. I have had two Kundalini-type dreams, too. I have not written about them because they were nothing special, but wanted to mention it anyway because it seems related to the recent shift in energy.

Last night was a busy night dream-wise. I blame the full moon.

Dream: Spiked Fuel

I was at an unfamiliar house. My sister, her son and my mom were there. My sister was letting her son stay home from school. He was pretending to be sick and she was making a fuss over his “illness”.

At some point I was watching as my cousin, my sister’s husband, came to drive them home. I watched as he put whiskey or some similar alcohol into the tank of the car and then he drank some of the spike fuel. I remember knowing he was drinking excessively and practically drunk all the time. It worried me and I wondered if he would get sick, but he didn’t. They ended up driving away in the vehicle, leaving their son behind.

Lucid Dream: Addicts

I woke up briefly. Thoughts of the previous dream were going through my head. I was wondering if it was a message to be on alert for addictive behavior. My sister and her husband have both struggled with drug and alcohol abuse, so it wouldn’t surprise me.

I entered into a dream where I was watching celebrities deal with their addict spouses. In one scene I watched Brad Pitt sitting in a limo, his wife on the opposite side of the car. He was listening to his wife tell him she was sorry and how she would fix it, etc. I was hovering nearby and whispered to him as he was about to speak to her, “Wait. Don’t let her manipulate you again.” He stopped and looked at her. She looked back and the silence between them was deafening. I put my hand on her shoulder and told her I understood. I wondered if she could feel me.

In another scene I watched as Madonna got off a van with another woman. She immediately took the woman’s hand and walked proudly beside her through a crowd of reporters. Again, I knew the issue was addiction and that Madonna was standing beside this woman, supporting her and showing the world through her actions.

OBE: Flooding

I became aware of laying in my bed on my back. I could feel how relaxed I was. I thought, “I want to go OOB.” Then I waited for the vibrations to come, which they did. Several times I had to remind myself, “Not yet” before the vibrations were just right for exit. Then I sat up out of my body.

My vision and perceptions were immediately available to me. I noticed the room was well lit and went directly to the door and out into the hallway. The lights were on downstairs and I could hear my family talking. I went to the stairs and jumped down. I could feel the sensation of falling, which was a surprise. When I landed I saw my youngest crawling around on the living room floor. He was still a baby and was wearing funny little glasses that looked to have a price tag on them. He saw me and crawled toward me. I remember thinking, “I must have gone to the past. Wow!”

I turned around to see my family whose voices I could still hear in the background. I saw my daughter and other son just as they appeared around 2014.

Rather than become distracted by the indoor scene, I walked past my son who was still crawling around happily on the floor, and went out the front door. Outside it was bright but the scene was very different than reality. My attention went to the ground which at first resembled a swamp. I remember saying, “It’s a swamp!” I slowly flew around looking down at it and then decided to look at my hands and said, “I need more clarity.” Then I said to my Higher Self, “Show me what I need to see.”

I continued to fly forward and look around. Where my front yard would normally be was high water flowing swiftly and separated by tufts of long grass. It looked like what happens when the water level rises and flood a normally dry area of land. As I looked in front of me I saw people in vehicles driving through the water. By this time the water was so high that all I could see were the tops of the cars, the water stopping just under the windows.

Unconcerned about what I was seeing, I began to fly further out, touching the water with my toes and noticing it was cold. Around this time I began to notice my physical body and could both hear and feel myself breathing. It was distracting and I tried to ignore it but the breathing sound was very loud and I could feel how uncomfortable my body was.

By this time I was in the water and turned around to float on my back. Looking up at the sky my vision started to go out. First in one eye, my right one, and then slowly in my left. My breathing was so loud by this time that it reminded me of Darth Vader in Star Wars. lol

I didn’t fight the loss of my vision and just floated in the water until I felt my astral body hit something. I was no longer in deep water and could stand up, but instead of getting up I ended up coming back into my body.

Music Message

When I woke up my nose was clogged and my body was very uncomfortable. No wonder it woke me up!

I was thinking of my sister and her family again. A song was going through my head that I know is a message about them. I was hearing, “Well you look like yourself but your somebody else, only it ain’t on the surface.”:

I couldn’t help but think about one of my OBE’s from long ago. It was one of the only times I met my deceased father while OOB. The entire OBE my father was talking to me about my sister, warning me of “difficult times” that she would go through. It was the oddest thing because I was so excited to see him, hug him, be with him, that I didn’t think anything of him talking about my sister the entire time until I woke up. Sure enough, she has been on a very difficult path ever since.

And here, yet again, it seems that I am being warned of something to come. First the dream of “spiked fuel” and my sister and her husband leaving their son behind. Then the dream of two addicts, one indicating that support is needed. And finally the OBE of a flood which is all about emotions and highly emotional situations.

After recalling that OBE with my father, I wondered to myself, “What was I suppose to do when I had no idea what “difficult times” meant?” It’s not like I was shown what exactly would happen. I couldn’t warn my sister by telling her what to look out for. And so, if this dream and OBE sequence is similar, I don’t know what I am suppose to do with the information. Anyway, it seems like all my sister experiences since that time are “difficult situations”. I guess all I can do is be there to support her when she needs it.

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Message: Clearing Fear and Pain

What an amazing day it has been! Wow! I woke up feeling so amazing!

Dream: Caught in the Seat Belt

I was driving on a two lane highway when I spotted someone I knew parked on the side of the road. I pulled over to see if he needed help. I called him by name but don’t recall exactly who he was only that he was a father figure (masculine aspect) to me. He was older, maybe 60s, graying hair and thin. He seemed to be caught in his seat belt (security, safety).

I went over the help and he was embarrassed because the seat belt was across his groin and his privates were exposed. I went to try and untangle it and saw his privates but they looked odd, like intestines or something similar. His testicles were both caught and I spent a while pulling on them. They unrolled and dangled very long again looking like intestines more than testicles.

I said should I called 911 several times and eventually I just called. A man answered. He sounded very hill billy. There was sound in the background like a party or gathering going on. I told him where we were “Highway 51 on the way to Jarrell”. He asked for more information but then I saw my mom pull up in a car. She had a knife and immediately cut the old man loose. He was free and relieved. I asked the old man if he still wanted them to come check him out. After no response I told 911 not to come.

In-Between Meeting and Message

I ended up in a large auditorium classroom. A man was on the stage and I was the only other person there with him. I stood below him and looked up at him on the stage. I had come for advice and he felt like a teacher – perhaps a guide? He was explaining how the rest of the world had been working on the top portion of the energy field and gave me the rundown on how this was playing out. Basically he said work was being done to reestablish the connection to the spiritual/Universe/God by clearing those blockages that kept one from their intuition, guidance and higher self. Those who accomplished this might feel they are finished because they often get to experience that connection first hand and it is life changing. Some may feel stuck or seeming to make no progress while others will be just beginning this process, newly awakened and in “awe”.

However, the work is not done after the connection is reestablished. He told me I had moved on to the next part of the task which is clearing the lower portion of the field. I saw an energy field as two circles intersecting with a human figure in the middle – a vesica piscis. He explained that the bottom area where the circles intersected was the area to be cleared. He told me this area contained “fear and pain” and gave me the type of symptoms that would be experienced with this clearing. The examples I got were in visuals. For example, I saw thoughts exploding out from a person in the form of words and images and falling to the floor as the person desperately tried to scoop them up. I was shown how the darkness contained just as much beauty as the Light and this I understood as truth. My understanding was that the symptoms involved much confusion, panic, anxiety, fear, and an overall sense of impending doom or losing one’s mind. I told him I understood and with relief we discussed how I had gotten through the toughest part which took around six weeks (since mid-August). Relieved I asked him what was next. He told me something else was coming, like another opportunity or option. He said, “it is up to you what you decide”. It did not feel bad, just seemed like a heads up that I would get a choice soon and it didn’t matter what I decided really just that I could decide and had a choice. At the time I did not see it as a bad or good thing, just something I needed to be aware of.

I was shown how the human aura (still looking like a purple vesica piscis only in 3D) formed a tunnel that flowed in both directions – up and down simultaneously. The flow can’t just go up, it also has to go down, constantly cycling, Earth to Heaven, Heaven to Earth. The lower portion is undergoing a massive clearing. The advice was similar to other dreams where I was told “look forward” and put on “blinders”. Focusing ahead and not behind or to the side. The fear will breed more fear, pain more pain. I understand this advice as I relate it to being afraid of the dark. How when I was a child in the dark I would stare straight ahead, walking toward the light, doing my best to ignore the dark shadows that lurked to the side and behind me.

I recall shifting back into my body a couple of times during this visit. My body was vibrating very high to where it felt as if I were being shaken. I slipped easily back into the in-between each time.

When the visit was over, I entered a lucid dream where I was outside on a sidewalk. It was bright and sunny outside with greenery and the smell of Spring. I remember thinking of the crazy feeling and the paranoia I experienced not long ago and how I worried about so many things I should not, like what people think of me. I got down on the sidewalk and rested face down, arms and legs splayed, thinking, “I don’t care what people think.” Laying there on the warm concrete felt good. Grounding.

I sat up and felt relief. Looking around at the place, which appeared to be the outside a building with paved, dark asphalt roads, shrubbery, and parking lot, I saw someone I recognized in the distance. She was looking toward the parking lot as if talking to someone. I called out her name, “Angela!” She turned and looked at me. I said, “Hey! I’ve been thinking about you!” My old friend came over to me, still looking a bit dazed and deep in thought, and asked me how I’d been. I told her that I had just been through a real tough time but was finally on the other side of it. She nodded her understanding and seemed to relate, tears slowly coming out of her eyes. Then a woman appeared out of the blue and said to Angela, “See, I told you she didn’t forget you.” Angela began to cry in relief and I said, “Of course I didn’t forget about you!”

Message

I came back to my body and lingered in the in-between for a while, thinking about the discussion I had with the “professor” and the strange encounter with my old friend. I truly believe that I stumbled upon her while she was dreaming. Perhaps she called to me or maybe our energies just synced. Whatever the case, I emailed her and told her about the dream. I hope she is well.

While lingering in bed I heard, “Gila National Forest” and “healing”. I came out of my reverie suddenly and wondered about it. Where was it? Arizona? Oh yeah, New Mexico. My husband is from that area and I told him about it and the “healing” message. He and I will be planning a trip there in November. I want to go visit the cave dwellings among other things.

The entire day I have been feeling blessed, happy, and optimistic. The song, Stay was going through my mind most of the morning – “All you have to do is stay a minute, just take your time. The clock is ticking, so stay”.

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Put Your Blinders On

I felt the energy shift yesterday. It was subtle, and may have only been in my universe, and that’s okay with me.

When driving home from running some errands yesterday afternoon, I was waiting at a stop light when a huge semi truck crossed through the intersection and slowly turned right. Along the side of it in big letters was the word, “FORWARD”. I knew instantly there was a message in it and remembered my guidance telling me in a dream not long ago that I needed to look forward and stop lingering in the past. The truck was entirely too slow so the message was unavoidable.

Later in the day, during a conversation with my husband, I realized that I keep way too much inside. I have no close friends or family to vent to. I chose long ago to stop venting to my mother about my relationship and life because 1. it made my issues her issues, 2. she is my mother and so would immediately try to help and therefore become judgmental and critical, and 3. it invites her into my marriage, where she doesn’t belong. I don’t vent online really either. Sometimes I write in my private journal but writing is not the same as talking to someone. There is relief in verbal expression that one just can’t get through written words.

What ends up happening is that I vent onto my husband. Suddenly, everything I have not gotten to express comes gushing out and he takes it all as me blaming and making him wrong – which it really isn’t. He becomes defensive, then I become defensive and then our conversation breaks down.

The obvious solution would seem to be that I need to find someone, a friend, to talk with. The thing is that I probably wouldn’t share my marriage issues with even a friend for the same reasons I don’t share them with my mother. Sharing = inviting them into the problem so that they become a part of the problem. Now, if I had a friend who could just listen and offer support without judgment, hug me and share in turn, and who I could trust, then yeah I would vent away. Problem is those kinds of friend are few and far between and being I don’t have any friends to begin with these days it seems unlikely that will ever happen.

Communicating openly with my husband then is the only way to resolve this issue. I can’t hold it in but then he needs to not get defensive and judgmental. Last night, at least, we seemed to move in the right direction. Forward.

All the references to my throat chakra make a whole lot more sense to me now.

Prior to bed I was feeling optimistic. The conversation I had with my husband lingered in my thoughts. He had said something about noticing how much I had changed for the better. It made me smile and get a little emotional.

Dream: Putting Blinders On

I had a very in-depth dream about getting married to my husband. The setting was at my grandparents house in the country. I remember having an argument with my husband and him deciding to call off the wedding. When he did this I thought, “Oh well. If that’s what you want.” Then, he changed his mind and it was back on and I was surprised but accepted it.

In between this I was looking out the window and saw a group of white deer grazing. I got out my phone to take a video but it took entirely too long to get to the camera and then I accidentally took a picture. When I finally got to take video I saw the deer become spooked and run. They ran alongside the house. With them was a large, white horse.

The horse was very spooked and being it was so large it could potentially hurt someone. I remember someone saying, “Put blinders on him”. Eventually he settled down because he could only see what was in front of him.

Other Dreams and Considerations

I had another dream that followed this one where I was contemplating what it was like to be single versus what it is like to be married. I watched young people in an office setting flirting and dating. I felt to be older and wiser and better off being married. My husband and I sneaked into an office to watch a movie. We were laying down, his head on my chest, discussing how he had not seen the end scene before. I had no shirt or bra on and felt very relaxed and happy.

I recall a short dream where I was looking through my purse and found wads and wads of money. I began to count it and separate the bills by type. There were way more $1 bills than anything but it was a large sum of money. I was trying to keep an older man from seeing it, worried he might want to rob me, but he didn’t seem to care. I then left and went to the doctor to have some skin tags removed which had suddenly sprouted all over my body.

Then there was after that where I was in a chicken coup with a man. The two roosters had dug out a pit that was so deep it was holding water. Some hens jumped into the pit and began to swim. One went under the coup and I was worried the pit had been dug so deep that it allowed the chickens to escape. I said, “Uh oh! What if the hole goes under the foundation? What if they are trying to get out?” The man with me reassured me that they could not escape. I watched as a white chicken swam around in the muddy water thinking it odd.

Finally, as I was lingering in bed this morning, I saw the white horse from the first dream. I saw only it’s head and noticed it had blinders on.

I feel fairly positive this morning. My dreams give me hope, especially the ones about my husband. I have marriage dreams quite often but not many with my husband. To have him in my dreams is a shift in itself, which I feel is good. The feelings I felt were good. The deer symbolize domestication. The horse symbolizes freedom or a free spirit. White is purity. All are positive symbols. The blinders indicate there is a need to focus forward in order to calm the wild spirit of the horse. This goes very well with the “Forward” message I received.

The money in the short dream is about my perception of my ability to reach my goals. The more money, the more confidence. I also feel concern that it will be stolen, so there is fear of lack or of others taking from me what I have worked hard for. I then visit the doctor, which represents healing, to remove skin tags, which represent unwanted feelings or concerns.

The chicken dream is about courage. I often have dreams of chickens in various situations. In this instance they are confined but I worry they will escape. The pit is likely my subconscious or something out of my control. The muddy water is muddled emotion. I fear they will dig under the foundation and escape but am reassured they will not.