Tag Archives: life lessons

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A Waking Life “Dream” Interpretation

I was thinking last night about my day and how, at certain points, there were incidents that reminded me very much of dreamtime. I wondered, “What if I did a dream interpretation of my waking life? What would it look like?” 

So, I’m going to try it and see what the symbolism says about my waking hours. 🙂

As with any dream, there are not-so-lucid moments and more lucid moments. Therefore, I will focus on the symbolism in the more lucid moments because they would be what I determine to be significant in my dreams.

My “Dream” Day

Most of my day is a blur with me going through my morning routine and work schedule as normal. It’s amazing just how insignificant most of my day is in my memory.

I had to go into work to cut checks (strong financial future). I do this weekly and it is nothing out of the ordinary. However, lately, the printer has been acting up (difficulty communicating wants/needs) so that when I print checks, two will stick together and ruin the whole batch. So, I end up printing three checks at a time, going much slower than usual in order to try and resolve the issue. Unfortunately, the printer still messes up and I end up wasting four or five checks. Finally, fed up with the problem, which has been going on for weeks, I talk to our office manager and ask her to work on fixing the issue, which can be done easily with some heavier weighted paper. I briefly wonder to myself why it took me so long to do something about the printer issue when it was so simple. 

My daughter calls me right as I am leaving the office to come pick her up at school because she is done with testing. I ask if she wants me to get her before or after I go to the grocery store (seeking nourishment). She doesn’t respond until I am already at the store, so I go in before picking her up. I shop and get in line. I notice a man holding a huge bag of tomatoes (prosperity, new phase beginning) is behind me. I have a ton of stuff so tell him to go ahead of me. He is grateful.

After picking up my daughter I head home, check my work email and do my exercise. While exercising, I am feeling really good and have more energy than I have had in a while. So, I get on my rower to row 3000m. While rowing my mind is blank and I go into a meditative state. When this happens, I see the meters counting down (a countdown is commencing) – 1978 down through 1890’s. As the numbers countdown I have this idea that I am traveling backward in time, watching my own birthdate, my sister’s, my mom’s, my grandmother’s and even a past life. I think of how only certain era’s feel real to me (the 1900-2000’s) and wonder why this is. I answer my own question with, “It’s because life back then (pre-1900’s) was so very different to life now.” And, indeed, I feel this discomfort with pre-1900s and wonder why that is. Why is it uncomfortable? I consider how time is fluid and how, with just a thought, we as spiritual beings can move backward and forwards, just like I was doing in that moment, watching the numbers on my rower countdown to zero. 

I decide to go on a walk but find my watch’s GPS (feeling no purpose/direction) is sluggish and doesn’t turn on until a half mile into my walk. I get somewhat irritated by this but eventually decide it doesn’t matter and that is when the watch’s GPS comes online. I realize then that I am walking for the wrong reasons and so head home early (reasons for walking – focusing on recording my miles, trying to “prove” to myself that I am better than others who are less physically active, seeking to be better than others).

I decide to give my dog (fidelity, protection) a good brushing and see a solitary flea (minor discomforts and annoyances) jump off him. I tell my husband when he comes home and he decides to go get some shampoo and flea treatment. I shampoo (cleanse old attitudes and beliefs) my dog outside and my kids helps. My youngest decides to play on his scooter, slips on the wet concrete and hits his head. My husband comes and gets him and I worry about him the rest of the night. Sure enough, he wakes with a headache, crying and my husband wakes me up to get the medicine and gets mad at me when I don’t want to wake up. He tears up my bed in his anger as I walk downstairs to get the medicine. I give it to our son and return to bed but am irritated at my husband for acting so childish and can’t go back to sleep. 

Considerations

The above are what remains in my memory of my day but the most significant to me is the lucid part while I was exercising. Later in the evening, it was this event that had me considering how our daily activities could be interpreted in much the same way as our dreams. Besides, I’ve always considered dreamtime just as real, if not more real, than my day-to-day waking experiences. Now that I have reflected upon my day, it is clear to me that interpreting the events of my day is much more revealing than I thought it would be!

The printer experience and how it played out is significant. In life, I’ve noticed it can take a long time before I do something about an issue, especially if something requires I have to go out of my way to make an effort to resolve it. In this particular case, the printer had eaten one too many checks and I finally got fed up enough to take action and fix it. I have suffered through weeks of irritation and just now took action! And if I look at many issues in my life, it is exactly the same! Why do I take so long to change what I dislike about my life? What is that final straw that motivates me to make the needed change?

I find it interesting that with each of the more lucid moments of my day, I am alerted to something via my environment and later have a realization because of it. For example, the GPS not working points me to something I am doing in life for the wrong reasons and so I adjust my course accordingly. Similarly, the flea, which is a minor annoyance in my life, reveals itself when my husband annoys me with his angry outburst and wakes me up for something he could have handled on his own. 

I am especially curious about my tendency to wait before I take action on those things which need resolution. I believe it is the perceived discomfort of initiating change that creates the resistance. Yet, there really is not that much discomfort at all, once I decide to act. Honestly, it feels good! So, why do I do this? Is this a human tendency? I wouldn’t call myself a procrastinator. Nor would I say I am “avoidant”. Lazy? Maybe, at times. Unmotivated? Most definitely!

So, maybe it is the end result that I am feeling is not worth my time and effort? Yes, I think that is it. If I can’t see a benefit that is greater than my effort to make a change, I don’t act. Huh. The thing is, what we see/perceive (future) is limited to what we have seen/experienced (past) and there are many potential futures that could exist beyond our limited perception and experience.

What could interpreting your day reveal to you? Try it.

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Stressed Out

My sister is in the Heart Hospital in Austin now waiting to see if they will do the surgery she needs. Her husband checked her out of the other hospital because they were not helping her. He was going to drive her to Houston but she was feeling bad and so they cut their journey short. Her chest was hurting her and her fever was coming back.

When I last spoke to her she was feeling good and hopeful to finally get the care she needs. Her cardiologist took the time to hear her story and told her under no circumstances should she check herself out of the hospital again. She said he told her, “You need to get this fixed now.”

Too Much Stress

The stress of my life right now is beginning to manifest physically, emotionally and spiritually. The itchy eczema spots continue to drive me crazy and are not going away. I fear I may need to get a prescription to nip them in the bud.

Yesterday the stress of everything hit me hard. My energy was nearly gone. Regular daily tasks “hurt” to do and I began to lose my voice. It is rare that I lose my voice. It only happens when my stress levels reach a critical high. Not good!

Spiritually my dreams are getting really weird. Two nights about, about an hour or so after falling asleep, I had this odd OBE type experience where I perceived someone was trying to take over my body while I slept. This reminded me of another incident when a woman in spirit attempted to come into my body and take over while I was still in it. So I quickly rushed back into my sleeping body and woke suddenly, heart pounding with a pain in my stomach like IBS.

Earlier this week I had another incident where I woke up in a panic, too, heart pounding thinking I was going to die. I can’t recall the specifics of that incident anymore but I think it was similar to the above.

I had a dream last night where I saw a doe laying on the ground breathing and moving slightly. When I went to investigate the head was separated and being dragged away by someone/something. The head was also moving as if still alive. It was creepy. My feeling is that it represents how I have been feeling lately – disconnected from my feminine, nurturing side and from my family/domestic life.

In another dream I was unable to call my husband and spent most of the dream trying to contact him via other people’s phones. Phones are communication so I must be feeling out of communication with my husband, which does make sense.

My Nephew

As a favor to my Mom and sister, I took my nephew in over the weekend. The intent was for him to stay for a week or more to give my Mom a break, but that is not how it turned out.

The first day I had my nephew I realized there may be a glitch in my plan. As the day progressed, my nephew began to wear out my two boys with his constant movement. He rarely if ever stops moving. He reminds me of a ping pong ball with all the changes in direction he makes. His energy is erratic, like he has a near compulsion to move all the time. The feeling of it is hard to describe. I feel it in my core and it is not comfortable. I don’t think I have ever felt something like it except when very unbalanced and mentally pulled in many directions by life. My mind is chaotic so much so that I have to go for a long walk, take epsom salt baths and breathe deeply to get the feeling to settle but even that feeling doesn’t come close to what I feel from my nephew. 

My husband was working all day on engineering drawings for an addition to the office space at work so he didn’t really have time to notice the energy. However, when I told him my nephew had asked to go back my Mom’s because my sons were not playing with him non-stop he mentioned the energy in our house was feeling “off”. I nodded and said, “It’s him (my nephew). He just can’t stop moving and he is wearing us all out.” My husband confirmed he thought I was right and pulled my nephew in for a talk to him to see if he could get any info out of him. He asked him several times how he felt. His response was just, “Good.” The more questions my husband asked him, the more he began to twitch from standing still. His eyes would go to all different places, his hands would move, his mannerism was discomfort, his attention was elsewhere. 

My sense is that he is not fully in his body. 

I spoke to my Mom about my observations, told him my sister told me would would settle down after a while and asked, “Does he settle down?” My Mom said, “Not really.” We compared notes and when I said, “When he stops moving he either starts to fall asleep or he is eating.” My Mom laughed and said, “Yep!” I questioned how they handled him at school. She said they likely have him occupied with many things, using stations and scheduling all movements, directing him and focusing his hyperactivity. She told me her solution was to buy him the Minecraft game so that he would stop moving and give her a break. I relayed to her that computer games didn’t work when he was with me. He still jumped up and changed directions, moving from one play scenario to another, usually mid-play.

I have to admit I was relieved to drop off my nephew at my Mom’s house. When I got home I was finally able to rest. The strange energy was gone and my eldest son even mentioned how different it felt when we got home. This morning my voice has returned and I feel much more relaxed and calm.

I now know I cannot manage my sister’s child long-term. It would sap my energy and focus most if not all of my attention on him, placing my own children in second. He most definitely needs intensive counseling of some type and his school will likely recommend he see a child specialist to see if he has ADHD if he continues this behavior into first and second grade. My husband would not allow for a diagnosis of ADHD because he, like me, believes those labels are mostly meant to help those around the child more than the child. They don’t target the underlying cause. I tend to agree and though I want to help my nephew, I just don’t have the energy to help him and am not willing to sacrifice my relationship with my own children or my own health (mental, physical, etc). 

So hopefully I can just take him for a day or two here and there (weekends mainly) to give my Mom a break while my sister goes through her healing journey. Hopefully she does heal and things can move toward healing of everyone in her family. It not, and it ends up that someone has to take Landon long-term, I have to say no to being the one to do that. 

Right now my Mom is the one who will take my sister into her home while she recovers from her surgery (if she gets one) and it is likely Landon will be there, too. Maybe my Mom can somehow figure out how to help him. IDK. I just have to leave it to God I guess.

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Kundalini Dream: Admit it, You Miss Me

Lots of intense shifting going on, at least in my world. My sister is still in the hospital and the doctor’s still refuse to perform surgery. They call it a “futility surgery”. The good news is the bacteria causing her sepsis is under control.

My BIL came by the house and had a long talk with my husband earlier in the week. He confessed to him that he had been a Meth user for 15 years and introduced it to my sister. He feels awful but at the same time he is in denial about many things. He referred to himself a “functional addict”. Ha!

Along with all the above stress and not-knowing, there have been family issues flaring up here and there that have long been in flux. I won’t go into detail about it but last night I couldn’t sleep because of the stress. 😦 My third-eye chakra kept activating as did other chakras. Their activation seemed to be related to the emotions that were coming up, which was interesting. I did my best to observe and allow the emotions to rise but there were so many that it seemed never-ending.

I think I fell asleep around 4am.

Dream: All B’s

I was walking across a college campus (learning lessons) early in the morning talking to someone. I told them I hadn’t gotten much sleep and couldn’t even recall what my new classes were because I forgot my schedule at home. I saw my previous grades in a visual – B B B B.

Then I saw someone was soaking wet (high emotion) and asked what happened. They pointed and I looked over just in time to see a person spraying people with water from a hose. They sprayed some on me and I got furious, turning around and calling them names. I got so angry I woke up.

Kundalini Dream: Admit it, You Miss Me

I was in a house. The light was low. I remember seeing a man who I recognized walking around the room. He seemed almost to be pacing in a circle. He was looking over at me and saying things like, “I know you miss me….Admit it…..You miss me.” 

My focus was in front of me. There was a refrigerator (emotional indifference, inhibited desire). The door was open and it was completely empty except for a box of vitamins (seeking to meet ones needs). I leaned down and picked it up and said, “Looks like she’s been taking these since 2003.” I was impressed for some reason. The box was green (healing) and seemed to glow.

The man responded to me by slowing his pace and staring at me. He said, “Admit it, you miss me.” (Odd I wrote You miss you). 

I finally answered him and said, “Okay. Fine. Yes, I miss you.” He smiled and turned toward me. I repeated myself, “I do miss you.” 

Then I remember literally crawling toward him on my hands and knees. My thought was, “I’m sorry”, so my crawling was likely a result of my regret. 

When I got to him he kissed me gently and I returned his kiss. We continued to kiss and I was thinking, “I missed you..I’m sorry.” The emotions that came up here were joy and relief at being back in touch with him.

I felt immense love and admiration for this man. I believe he was naked but can’t be sure. I also remember how his kiss felt. It was nice. Not too eager or hungry but gentle and loving. 

We ended up laying on the floor, him on top of me, making out. The more I allowed myself to enjoy it, the more the K energy began to ignite and grow. I felt a shot of bliss and pleasure hit my root chakra and begin to rise upward. I surrender to it, to him, but the intensity was so much that it woke me up.

Shocked, I woke up.

The energy did not dissipate immediately so I lay in bed relishing it for a bit. I struggled to return to sleep after. I probably got a total of 2 hours sleep. 😦 

Considerations

The first dream reminds me of an OBE I had long ago. In the dream I was upset because a young man was setting fire to all the trees. I frantically ran after him with a hose trying to put out the flames but was unable to.

The hose in the dream seems to indicate that I have been successful at putting out the fire caused by the Kundalini. My reaction to getting wet is anger, though, so maybe I am changing my mind?

The second dream seems to indicate that I am looking to meet my needs in life. The resulting Kundalini indicates that those needs may be met via the K-energy.

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Proof that a Life Issue is Resolving

Yesterday I felt a bit restless. I kept thinking that I needed to do something. Do something about the debt I let my husband incur last year. Do something to feel more fulfilled and purposeful. Just do Something! It was a nagging feeling. I even looked for jobs online and discovered an opening for a part-time school counselor position just a 9 minute commute from our house. I thought about it but hesitated. So I opted to update my resume and CV and then decide if I would apply. Even after doing that something wasn’t right about it. I remembered that Mercury went retrograde that same day. It is not a good idea to get a new job or interview during a Mercury retrograde. So, using that as an excuse, I sat on it. The posting doesn’t close until the 20th anyway.

Then today my husband comes home and tells me he is getting a $25,660 bonus. What!!!?? Whoa! Now that he is on the bonus system that came with his new position as general manager he gets bonuses every quarter. This is his first. He will get three more this year. It is likely they will be big like this one, but maybe not. They fluctuate.

Regardless, now I know why I hesitated about the job. I felt in my heart that I did not want it. It made me uneasy just to consider going back to work even after my most recent good experience. I just don’t want to. You know what is really crazy? His bonus is about what I would make if I were to work part-time again. I would have to spend an entire year dealing with education system bureaucracy to make that amount, too. Now, it is coming as a check next week. Ha!

As I was thinking about this whole sequence of events and its peculiarity, I recalled that last Saturday out of the blue I just decided that I was OK with being in debt and paying ridiculous interest. I saw it was just a condition I placed on myself and my life that stressed me out. Who on this planet doesn’t have some sort of debt anyway? Money is meant to be spent, life is meant to be lived. I don’t want to spend any more time worrying about money and choosing not to live and enjoy my life because something costs too much. I already spent too much of my life doing that and it has NOT made me a happy person. So I announced to my husband that I was done stressing and fighting over money. No more. Done.

Now he gets this bonus? Hmmm. I seriously doubt it’s a coincidence. My husband has been at odds with his boss since her parents (and previous owners) died. She put his younger brother in a top position and refused for two years to put my husband in the position he had been promised by her father. My husband pushed for the position because I pushed him to push for it. He finally got promoted in 2015 (and I promptly left my job) but she refused to let him get the bonuses he was suppose to for over a full year for this reason or that. Suddenly, this year, she is finally giving them to him and it comes right when we need it, after I decide to let go of my considerations about the debt we are in and after I opt out of yet another part-time position I don’t want yet would have chosen to work just for the money.

The way I see it, all of it is tied to me finally being ready to let go of my financial beliefs and considerations. It has been an on-going life struggle for me, one I seemed to bring in with me from another lifetime. As a child of only 7 years old I remember getting money and hoarding it, saving it for who knows what, while my sisters happily spent theirs and ate their candy or got their toy. I would sit and scowl at them thinking I was right, I knew better because some day that money would be needed. LOL

In the past two years I have made phenomenal progress towards resolving my issues with money. When I announced to my husband that I was OK with being in debt, that I no longer cared, I really meant it. You all have seen my progress with this issue via this blog here and there. Lately I forget to pay bills (scandalous!) and end up with high late fees and…I just don’t care. Our savings is the lowest it has ever been and….I just don’t care. Considering I always had at least three months salary (more usually) in savings this is unbelievable for me. In 2014 I use to check our checking account frequently, sometimes daily, and nag my husband about not staying on budget, spending this or that, etc. Now I can’t remember the last time I checked our checking account balance.

There are countless more examples of how I’ve changed in regard to money. I’m a totally different person in that regard now. Really. And no, I am not going to the extreme opposite now and becoming a spendaholic and not caring at all. I still care, I just don’t obsess and stress anymore.

My consideration about money now? If it gets spent, that means more is on the way. There will always be more. My Companion told me (still does) – You will always have enough. My new consideration is also that. I will always have enough. And I always have.

What we resist does really persist. And when we stop resisting it, it really does resolve.