Tag Archives: Messages

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Dream Meeting: Maxim

My sleep continues to be less than ideal. I wake frequently and only get about 6 good hours a night. My days are busy and I find that, although I have content to blog about, I don’t have the time I would like to focus on writing. I usually jot down something in my private journal and leave it there, hoping to have time later to write about it. But I know myself well enough to know that if I don’t write it right then, I probably never will.

This month of March has not turned out to be as interesting as I’d hoped. With all the signs and syncs leading up to now, I’d thought for sure some kind of meeting or encounter would’ve happened. My guess is I interpreted it all wrong because nothing – nada – has happened. I still don’t get why the Universe would send me those tarot cards but I guess the cards were relaying info about the past or present and NOT the future. That’s okay. I’m use to the same-ol-same, day in and out. I’m good at keeping busy. I’ve got a good life. I’m just a tad bit…..bored.

Ah, the story of my life! My guides are probably going, “Oh no! Dayna’s bored again!” My poor guides. lol If anything they threw those signs and syncs my way to keep me guessing and wondering. There’s nothing better at keeping someone occupied than a good mystery to solve….or wait for in my case. That carrot on the stick scenario gets me every time. Why do I keep falling for it? Oh yeah, I’m bored.

I will give you another cool story which, BTW, also ties into my dream this morning.

A little more than a week ago (March 17) my husband lost his AirPod Pros again. Yes, again. Ugh! I was furious with him and on his case a little more than I like to admit. I can get kinda fixated on stuff especially when I’m….bored. lol Anyway, I decided one night to just let it go again because my main upset was that it seemed like he didn’t care. So I figured, why should I?

That night I had a dream. Pay attention here. In the dream I was given a small, brown box. When I opened it, inside were the missing AirPods. Not long after I saw a small balloon that said, “Happy Birthday”. In amongst this was a short dream where I was receiving lots of emails to the point that it was too much and I felt overwhelmed. When I woke I decided to tell my husband that I had accepted that the AirPods were gone.

The dream came to pass the next day. I was overwhelmed most of the morning. My schedule was off because of an a/c maintenance man visiting. I also was getting emails like crazy – asking for readings and dream interpretations. Somehow, though, I managed despite being in a sour mood. Later in the day, as I was preparing dinner, I went to the garage to toss something in the trash. I turned and saw the minivan and thought, “I need to check for the AirPods.” So, I opened the side door and immediately noticed a tiny, white object in between the seats. I had found them! 

Not long after I went for a walk with Monty. On the walk I spotted a tiny balloon that said, “Happy Birthday.” I knew it was from the dream. Even after that when my husband was watching The Simpson’s I noticed that they kids in the episode were tossing water balloons at the bully. They said, “Happy Birthday.” 

So the syncs continue and good things keep happening, I’m just being a grump because life’s not…..exciting enough? Well, just not the kind of excitement I like. I can hear my guides saying, “Persnickety.” Guess so.

What kind of excitement do I like? The spiritual kind, of course! If it’s spiritual, bring it on! Thankfully, I got a pretty cool dream so I’ll be good for another day or so.

Dream Meeting with Maxim

I entered into an auditorium where many people were gathering. At the booth where we were to register, a man was instructing everyone on what to do. I remember that he sent the group down the hall for an orientation or something similar. When I arrived and was asked to follow the group I chose not to. It didn’t feel like something I wanted to do or that I needed for that matter. Instead, I walked to the back of the auditorium, considering my options. I was undecided – do I do my own thing and hope no one notices or do I go along with the group and suffer that misery (I hate groups)?

Eventually, I noticed that everyone walking around had on a name tag (recognition) but I didn’t. For some reason it felt like I needed one and I knew the only way to get one was to go where the group (need others to be known) went. So, I decided to go find the group and hopefully get my name tag (recognition).

As I walked in the direction of the group I ran into other groups. Many were of children who had with them teachers. I noticed a hallway and looked down it, hoping to get an idea of which room my group had gone in. The hallway was long and had many doors, all of them closed (feeling shut out). The hallway was littered with trash but the walls and floors were very white and otherwise clean. It just looked like the kids had been messy with art paper and no one had cleaned it up yet. Realizing it was too late to rejoin my group, I turned back and headed back to the corner where I had been observing everyone.

I discovered the section where I had lingered before was a separate room with a large viewing window (my cave, safe space, hermitage). It reminded me of those rooms in churches where the nursing mothers or mom’s with screaming babies would go to still participate in church services without creating a distraction. I was able to see the auditorium and all the people clearly but remain separate from the group – just like I like it.

In my little space was a man. He was sitting at a desk writing on a piece of paper. I somehow knew he was there to help me.  He had been looking through my emails in order to get the answers to questions on a paper he was filling out. When I arrived he smiled and said, “Happy birthday (from my other dream).” Then he began to read to me what he had written. It was a description of my character in this lifetime. I can’t recall what he said but I remember key pieces. He described me as selective of who I chose to spend time with but the way he articulated it made me sound like someone with much wisdom and experience. He said I paved my own path and cared little for what others thought of me. 

The way he described me took all those things which I find faulty within myself, things others have criticized, and presented them as my special gift to humanity. It was like I was hearing about an important leader in history, one that made significant contributions to humanity and so was honored, recognized and remembered for it.

My initial response was, “You see me!” I felt his recognition and was relieved to be acknowledged. Then I said, “You got all that from reading my emails?” He laughed and said, “Yes.” I said, “Wow.” I paused, considered what I had heard and said, “I really like myself.” He said, “I do, too.” 

By this time I was standing face to face with him. He was short and stalky. His face had smile lines that indicated he was a kind, generous individual with a gentle, loving demeanor. He was completely bald and had a scholarly quality to him. I knew he was a professor at the university I attended. He introduced himself to me. He said his name was “Maxim”. There was a last name but I can’t remember it and I only remember his name because I repeated it.

I asked him, “Why are you helping me?” He said, “Because you helped me.” I thought on this and couldn’t recall ever helping him. I said, “I don’t remember helping you.” He indicated that I had and that he was indebted to me, thus his appearance in my life now. I figured I must have helped him in some other life.

Still in awe of how well he had described my character in this lifetime, I remember thinking how wonderful it would be to be like him, to be able to “read” a person as well as he had me and help them see themselves as a gift to the world. He indicated that he heard me, so I must have spoken this aloud. He turned and looked toward the room we were in and asked, “How can you help?” It seemed like he was asking how I could help from within the confines of the space I was in. I thought for a moment and then said excitedly, “You can bring them to me. I have a Master’s in Counseling. Maybe I could counsel people?” He said matter-of-factly, “You mean you have two Master’s degrees.” I said, “No…but I have two degrees in the same field – education.” He looked at me in such a way that I second guessed my response. I wondered, “Does he mean Master’s degree like I think? Or does he mean some other kind of Master?”

Maxim smiled and motioned to what was happening outside my window. I looked and saw a group of people gathered in celebration of certain honored individuals. He told me that I was one of the honorary ones and had been “chosen”. Then he said, “If you look, you will see yourself.” It felt like he wanted me to look at an old photograph but was motioning to the scene outside the viewing window of the room where a group of people were on stage. I looked and in front of me were old photographs of what appeared to be a group of scholarly individuals wearing robes all standing together. It reminded me of an old photograph from a yearbook. As I scanned the faces I spotted a woman who I knew was me, though she appeared differently than I do in this life.

Maxim returned to the subject of my situation, specifically my being in the room observing the group but not wanting to be a part of it. He stated, “You stop, you see, you leave.” I’m not sure these were his exact words but I saw a visual in my mind of his words. I would meet someone, stop if I felt called to, interact with and/or observe them a while, and then leave. It was not a judgment of my actions, quite to the contrary, it was a recognition of my specific gifts. After hearing this and seeing the meaning behind it, it felt like he was specifically commenting on my relationships with others in this lifetime. I wondered, “Does that mean it is time to leave?” 


Message: Build What You Want

It was at this point I woke up but Maxim remained close and continued to communicate with me. He said, “Build what you want [in life]”. Along with this I felt nudged to really feel into what it was I wanted to experience in this life. My immediate response was to go to that feeling of Divine Oneness and the call that I recently had but refused. He asked me why I did not answer the call and I said, “I’m afraid of what will happen to my life.” I like my room with a view. I like the life I have created thus far. Though Maxim wasn’t pushing me to go outside my “room” I felt nudged and knew, at some point, I would venture out again, but only if the invitation was good enough. It would have to be better than what I already have, something irresistible, that’s for sure. 

Eventually, I ended up falling back to sleep and dreaming another dream. I won’t go into that dream but when I woke my thoughts were on my HD profile and being a 6/2 self-projected Projector. A recent video I had watched by Ra Ura Hu, the creator of Human Design, on Projectors came to mind. 

He said Projectors are “on the ascendency”. He also mentioned how Projectors study to become masters at what they do. I wondered about this and my dream came to mind. Does this “study” mean actual school? If so, then I studied teaching and counseling – helping others, especially children. But what of my other “studies”, those of the spiritual kind? I have had so much hands-on training in that area – almost 20 years. In considering all the things I’ve studied in this life, the one that brings the most joy is the spiritual. I wondered which studies I will use when I “come down from the roof” to be the Role Model I am here to be? Perhaps that is what Maxim was referring to when he said I had two Master’s degrees – one a very physical one and the other spiritual. I wondered aloud to my guidance, “What do I do?” I knew, though, that I am not meant to know. I am meant to answer a call and then and only then will I Know what it is I am to do.

Then I was reminded of a recent dream where I was in a closet and a Bulgarian man was trying to get me to leave and explore outside. When I looked up the name Maxim I discovered it is Bulgarian. Could Maxim have been the man in that dream who was bugging me to leave my closet? Probably. If you haven’t read that dream, you should. It is pretty awesome!

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Dream Message: You’re Afraid to Eat

Sleep has been delayed these last couple of nights but when I do finally sleep I sleep well. I believe the energetic shifts I’ve been experiencing lately are related to geomagnetic activity. Solar activity has been high and my sleep cycle and “symptoms” coincide with these events. I was actually warned in advance of these solar flares, I just did not mention them until now.

Yesterday’s activity:

That’s a HUGE flare! Another storm is anticipated today.

This morning I had a very telling dream that has left me feeling contemplative.

Dream: You’re Afraid to Eat

This dream began in my bedroom at my mom’s house. I was sleeping with the bed facing toward the wall. There was a ton of noise to my left and the door burst open. Tiny, pink pieces of fluff were floating around and falling on me. I recognized them as insulation (insulating myself) from the attic. I told the person opening the door to go away. I said, “I want to sleep!” I was grumpy from being awakened. The man told me they were doing work on the a/c and that I would just have to deal with it. 

Somehow I knew that my mom was the cause of all the ruckus. She had remarried a Mexican man who now was fixing up her house. He had his guys there helping. An entire backstory came into my memory and I knew my new step-dad was related to someone I once dated. I said aloud to someone, “This is crazy! My mom is married to my ex-boyfriend’s older brother!” The idea of it was preposterous. Sure, my ex was older than me but I don’t recall him even having an older brother and if he did he would be much to young for my mom!

Then I was sitting on my bed sorting through a pile of typed pages. There were three piles each well over 200 pages. Someone was talking to me about the book I’d written, asking if it was complete. I remember saying, “The book writes itself so I won’t know when it’s done until it tells me.” 

Suddenly curious about my book, I put the book in order, taking the three individual stacks (three lives within a life) and piling them up on top of each other so that the first chapter was on top. Each section was bound up as if a separate book and I knew somehow that the entire book was composed of other books, like “Parts”, because the book itself was extremely long. I counted three parts. This seemed significant but I was mostly focused on putting them in order. Note: Up until this point in my life I feel I have lived two lives, each distinct and unique. This goes along with HD in that I’m a 6 line and 6’s have three distinct phases of life – the first is the testing phase, the second is the observing phase (on the roof) and the third is the action phase (becoming the Role Model).

I read the first sentence and immediately discovered grammatical errors. I knew a thorough edit was in store. The first sentence began with four names – two boys and two girls – and indicated an action. Other than that I can’t recall what it said. I do remember the names were wrong – misspelled and one written twice – and I was thinking of changing them when the edit just wrote itself on the paper. I didn’t have a pencil or pen so was shocked to see my thoughts created the changes. In awe, I exclaimed, “Look! Did you see that! I changed it”, to someone with me that I never saw or heard reply.

The dream shifted here and I was suddenly in my mom’s back yard standing on the steps leading down from the house. It was unfamiliar and looked nothing like real time. First, the porch was missing. Second, the back yard was in a subdivision and quite small with a large privacy fence. 

The entire yard was flooded with waist high water (emotion). I walked out in it, looking around and a bit in shock.  I did not get wet. To my right was where the large inground pool should’ve been, but all I saw was pond water. To my left was where I focused. The grass was visible under the water’s surface as were small, fat, bug-eyed, black goldfish (vulnerability, dream fulfillment). As I watched the fish, they took shape and moved about happily. It was strange and I remember talking to my mom who was standing behind me and asking her about the fish and water. 

I said to her, “You have a pond in your yard. It’s only waist high and there are fish in it.” Her response was something about how she knew and was okay with it, even happy to have it the way it was. She explained that her septic wasn’t working properly and her husband was in the process of fixing it.

I remember her asking me, “Didn’t you always want a pond by your house?” I said, “Yeah, but mine was not part of the pool like this. Isn’t it causing problems with the pool system?” My mom said, “No. It’s actually helping the pool.” This didn’t make sense but I accepted her answer. I then described how my pond would look, indicating a small peninsula of land would separate the two bodies of water and that the pond would be right over the septic drainage area. 

As I described this to her, my mom walked out next to me and we were both standing on that peninsula. This is when I noticed my mom’s hair was replaced with very tall, green clover (transition stage of life) with purple flowers (prosperity). I said, “What happened to your hair!?” She looked like a chia pet! I don’t recall what her answer was, just the visual of her having nothing but clover as hair. She was also much younger than she is in real life, approximately mid-forties instead of 70’s (seeing myself in my mom). 

I continued to look at the pond with the black fish. There were some fish in it that had sharp, knife-like nosed. These fish were trying, unsuccessfully, to eat the other ones (worry). I mentioned this to my mom and she said, “Yeah, there’s only two of them and they don’t harm the others, they’re too small.” I remember the fish resembled small ducks at this point but my attention waivered as if I went deep into thought.

The dream shifted and the pond was mostly dried up. I wandered over by the steps of the house. The grass was extremely green and there were items lined up on the sidewalk. A man called to me from the road, surprising me. He said, “Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you. I just need the skimmer.” I didn’t know what he was talking about but then realized he was there to repair the pool pump. I grabbed the skimmer and handed it to him. He was standing behind some tall bushes so I didn’t get a good look at him.

This is when I noticed a limo (power in life, wealth, abundance) parked on the road by the house. The middle section was opened up revealing the inside. I could see a man lounging inside all by himself. He was familiar. I knew him. He stared out of the vehicle at me. 

My mom was suddenly next to me and we were talking about the man. I told her his name and said he was famous. His fame came from writing a book. She didn’t recognize him so I showed her a newspaper or magazine cover with his picture on it. He was a bit younger sporting a mustache. I said, “Here’s a picture. I think he was 53 when it was taken.” For some reason this age felt very young to me. 

There is a gap here in my memory. It is again as if I went into thought. I remember seeing a small, black object vacuuming up the area where the pond had been and walking up to it to inspect it. I also recall a man approaching me. He was bald. He told me the man in the limo was waiting for me. I could see the image of the limo in my mind. The entire side of the limo was open as if the doors were removed. The man sat lounging casually on the bench-like seating staring at me. His gaze spoke volumes. 

I believe I woke briefly here but can’t remember. 

The next thing I recall is meeting with the bald man. We were going to dinner. He was very nice but I was confused and wondering what was going on. I had no memory of this man or how I got to be with him. It was like I had no history. I was completely blank. 

The man told me, “It’s okay. I won’t hurt you”, and escorted me to dinner. We entered into a large stadium and sat down at a large, round, dinner table. It was illuminated while the rest of the stadium was in the shadows. The set-up was very nice as if we were in a high-end restaurant. 

The man seemed very at ease as the food arrived. He began to eat but how he ate was very disturbing. He took entire pieces of food, uncut and some very large, and rather than put them into his mouth, he placed them into his throat. His throat opened up so large that his entire fist could fit inside. I watched him swallow an entire dinner roll this way. 

When he saw my reaction he said, “You’ll get use to it.” Then he ate something else. As I watched, I thought, “He must have a tracheotomy.” But that explanation made no sense.

The man smiled. I studied his features for a bit. He was completely bald with barely any wrinkles. He reminded me of Mr. Clean. I felt very odd sitting across from him – stunned and very confused.

The man said to me, “You’re afraid to eat.” When he said this I saw that a huge plate of food was next to me on a silver platter. 

I woke up. The last thing on my mind was, “Was that a question or….?”

A song was going through my head when I woke: “When you’re ready come and get it….” 

Considerations

When I woke I knew what the dream was about, at least some of it anyway. The symbolism is quite bizarre, though. 

A guide was present and felt to be all around me and very close. My mind went to the man in the dream who was waiting in the limo. I knew the man and knew that he remained close but just out of sight, waiting and observing. Touching on his energy even briefly caused a reaction in me. I wanted to immerse myself completely in it. 

The message about the food was an explanation about the way I felt and reacted to the man in the limo. The man represents the next step on my journey and I am afraid to take it. 

As I was thinking through the dream and messages it contained I heard another message. I don’t recall the exact words but an image remains along with a summary. One word that was very distinct was, “Twin”. The vision was of the word “twin” between two large masses. I think the masses represented the energy of two people. The message was that once one is engaged in the twin energy, the process must be followed through to completion. 

The message brought me fully out of my reverie and I said, “But that can’t be true. What if one person withdraws?” I didn’t receive an answer. 

Mr. Clean

The bald man in my dream was familiar but only when I wrote out my dream did I recognize him: Mr. Clean. He appeared in this dream – a Kundalini dream.

I had to re-read that dream account before I understood why he was appearing in my dreams again. The six month mark is here. It is March. And I’ve been getting 25 days for a while now. When I first got that message I counted 25 days and got the date of March 11. That date is fast approaching but I can’t be certain that it is even significant. All I know is that I’ve been warned of something happening in March for quite a while now.

The entire dream is quite significant I think. It describes the merging of masculine and feminine. It also describes a familiar feeling. The feeling is one of both utter destruction and Divine perfection.

In the Universal dream I saw pillars crashing in one upon other. Total destruction. The image brought about a deep-seated fear intermixed with a longing I cannot describe except to say that it feels to be all-encompassing. A desire beyond desires. Every cell of my Being calls out for it. But my current dream indicates I am afraid of it. This is true for the destruction is terrifying. At my core I know but continue to deny that this destruction is necessary. So I stall. And he waits. And he wants me to know, “I won’t harm you.” He says it twice in this dream.

What can I say? I’m a coward. And it is really starting to piss me off.

I suspect, in the end, I will succumb to the Call despite my fear. I’m getting too annoyed not to.

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Vision: Bitten Apple

It is Day #6 of Snowmaggedon (or if you prefer, Snowpocalyse) here in Texas. The high today was 39, so we experienced quite a bit of melting. However, the temps will be back in the mid-twenties tonight, so anything wet will surely be icy in the morning.

Today I ventured into work with my husband. The roads were pretty clear and I-35 was clear and dry. A pipe had busted at the office, so he fixed it, and then we went out to lunch at a local Greek restaurant we like. Seating is outside but it was comfy enough because it was partially enclosed. The sky was blue and cloudless.

On a walk today the snow melt was even more obvious. The subdivision roads are mostly clear except for the areas in the shade. The biggest change, though, was heard. The birds are suddenly back and everywhere. They are singing as if Spring is here. It is such a welcomed sound!

Most people now have power and water. There are a few exceptions, though. I think Austin power is back on for 90% of residents. I’m not up to date on the water supply in Austin but in my area people are having trouble with pressure and losing water once they get it. In some cases the water is not clear, either, but brown. Ick! We still have water and have no issues with pressure or color, but we have a different water provider than most people in our area. All we have is a boil water notice in effect and I received an email this morning asking us to reduce wastewater.

Sadly, everyone is treating this winter storm like “the end of the world”. They are in panic mode and so, if you can even get into a store, most of the store shelves are empty. It is worse than Corona lockdown! Thankfully, we still have enough to manage. I will not be going into a store until all is clear.

Below are a few more pictures. We received a second round of sleet on Thursday which finally did some trees in. Our beautiful Clamondin tree broke in half from the weight of all the ice. I was already concerned we would lose it. Calamondin trees can only survive in temps above 20 degrees but if the roots stay warm enough it will regrow. Roads were made worse, also, but the birds didn’t seem to mind. We had a flock of some songbirds feasting on frozen berries across from our house. They were so immersed in eating they let me get about six feel away.

Here’s hoping this is the end of winter for Texas!

With all this down time, I’ve been getting plenty of sleep. Unfortunately, my dreams have not been the best. Below are some examples of what my dreams look like right now. I seem to be in pity-party/poor me mode for some reason. Oh how awful life is! lol Obviously, I am OK, just for some reason the mornings have been rough. The return to physical reality has been hard this week!

Dream: Better Off Without Me

I had a dream where I was with this black man in a store. An older woman was helping him pick out candles (seeking guidance). She was teaching him Wicca (the occult or spiritual). I was helping, too, but I’m not sure either of them knew I was there. I suggested he get the black candle (warding against negative). She advised against it. Then he wanted a white candle (purity) and this was wrong, too. The last candle was green (healing) and was very wide. I remember thinking it better than another one because the other ones were life-like, like animals, and needed to be “fed” (need to actively heal self). 

On the way out of the store with a large bag, the man was concerned about gaining gentry into another place. He could only take one bag and I offered to carry it for him. He kept the bag and I followed behind watching a hole form in the bottom.

We got in line and waited. It snaked around and the destination was an old, dilapidated house. I remember listening to a conversation. A woman was asked when she last went to the movies. She said, “25 days” (received this number recently in another dream).

When we got to the house I remember telling someone I had been inside and stayed the night there once. I described the inside as having old, worn, striped wall paper. I never went inside, though. Instead, I looked from the outside and saw a bunch of gray kittens (feminine) wandering around. I noticed they looked deformed, with over-sized and misshapen heads.

I remember watching a young woman (aspect of past Self) go up to the front and be assigned an Aussie dog (protection) to watch over her. The Aussie looked like my old dog, Trooper, and I watched as he followed behind her to keep her safe, as if herding her. I remember missing Trooper. He was so beautiful.

I realized the man and the “witch” left without me. I remember seeing them in a cave (the unconscious) sitting on the floor. The witch faced the man who was sitting next to a woman and holding her hand. I realized he had chosen this woman over me and thought/said, “It’s probably for the best. I would only have ruined his life.” This made me very sad and as I woke from the dream, I was convinced it was true. The men I end up dating or marrying are better off without me in the end.

Dream: Haunted Mansion Wedding

This morning’s dream began at a mansion (the bigger picture, connection to others). I was talking to my best friend from high school (aspect of Self, Higher Self) about her upcoming wedding. She was very happy and looked wonderful – young, untouched by time, and glowing. She chose to get married in the mansion because it was known to be haunted (unaddressed issues that ‘haunt’ me). She and her guests would stay the night. 

I recall going inside the mansion and looking at a huge pot of coffee (awareness). I realize that I was seeing through her eyes at this time. The coffee pot was full and hot and someone was talking to her/me about the future. I can’t recall the words but I remember receiving a vision of the coffee dispersing from the pot, right through the glass. The coffee came out in tendrils and deposited itself all around as if it had a life of it’s own.

Back outside I watched my friend get into a cute little, white car (life path). It was unlike anything I’d ever seen and I thought of it as a “classic”. It had three wheels, two in the back and one in the front, and only enough room to seat four people. I don’t think it had a top. My friend climbed in and began to drive away with her friends. When she drove the car actually flew into the air. I remember being jealous of my friend’s happiness and freedom. I also recall thinking, “I wish I had friends. I never had time for them but now I do.” I thought it would be nice to finally have someone to talk to but thinking about having friends just made me sad.

Next, I saw my friend wearing a swimsuit (confronting uncertainty and a negative situation). There was a lake (healing) nearby and she intended to go swimming with her two boys. I remember her telling me about them and how proud she was of them. She showed me her memories and I saw how she was able to honor their unique personalities. As I listened/watched I became very emotional and began to cry. This is when I woke up.

Considerations

When I woke up I was very sad and recalling a specific incident with this friend. I doubt the incident had anything to do with the dream, but it was still on my mind. At the time, I had just gotten married and she attended my wedding, like I had attended hers. At the time she was battling cancer and had finally gone into remission. One day, on my way back from the doctor, I called her to tell her the good news – I was having a baby girl. When she answered she was annoyed, asking me how I got her office number. She listened but then was very short with me and told me, “Never call this number again.” Later, I wondered if her irritation was really about the number I called or if she was angry because I was sharing good news about my pregnancy. At the time she thought she would never be able to have children. I then thought back on our friendship and all the times she treated me this way. I never even blinked when she did. I just seemed to let it bounce off of me. Yet in my memories I still get sad. 

Then I thought about how nice it would be to have a friend to confide in again. Yet all my close friends have been similar. When I share something with them, they usually reject me in some way. I know now it is because I do not ask permission to share first. This is part of my Human Design aura type – Projector. But still, it seems one-sided that I accept what they have to share without them asking permission but then I have to ask permission! I am rejected so frequently when I attempt to share that I have withdrawn and stopped sharing altogether even with those I am closest to. 

Then I think of all my open centers and begin to get more depressed. It feels like I am here only for others. I listen, I perceive what they need, and I provide that. Yet who does this for me? The minute I attempt to speak about my own issues and struggles, others tune me out. It is like I don’t exist at all.

Vision: Bitten Apple

As I began to grow more and more depressed, all I wanted was to return to dreamtime. I fell into the in-between and pieces of memories and conversations randomly entered my thought-stream. 

At one point a very vivid vision came to mind: the Apple logo. This was the final straw that brought me out of my reverie. 

The vision likely has nothing to do the the computer company and everything to do with the symbolism of the bitten apple. My first thought was: temptation. The next thought was the Garden of Eden and how the apple represented the Knowledge of good and evil; duality.

I began to think of the recent messages I’ve been receiving inferring that I will meet someone very soon. The bitten apple could be a warning that something will tempt me. The bite out of the apple says I won’t be able to resist. 

My reaction was upset. I asked, “Why am I always the bad guy?” It does seem that in this life I am the ideal scapegoat. People love to point the finger at me. Even my current husband enjoys it. I believe if I were to do something, say run off with another man or cheat, he would jump at the opportunity to make me the bad guy. I also feel like I am good at burning bridges with people. I don’t mean to, not really, it just seems to happen that way. I don’t really regret those who I have left behind but a part of me is sad about it. I am sad because I know they blame me. It is easier to blame another than to take responsibility. I have grown use to being that person, too. The sadness comes from knowing this is just the way it is. The sadness comes from knowing that most people are not like me. Why does choosing love, choosing what makes me happy, have to be at the expense of others’ happiness? If they really love me, then wouldn’t they want me to be happy? Wouldn’t they celebrate my joy? Not always.

But there is a part of me who is happy to be the way I am. It is easy for her to just walk away. To start over, brand new. No regrets. It is only after, sometimes years later, that the sadness comes. I miss those I’ve left behind, even those who I didn’t like very much at the time. I wish they could see me today. I want to celebrate with them. Celebrate what? IDK. Maybe just celebrate that I am still alive, that I have made it this far and so have they. Celebrate connection and disconnection and the roles we played in each other’s life journeys. 

One day this will happen. When we return Home. 

Found: Two More Cards

One more thing….

On Valentine’s Day I found two more tarot cards on my walk:

This is what I posted on FB. I forgot to write a blog post because the wonderful winter storm came on that same day.

10 of Cups (Sota): Dark-haired woman with a light complexion.
Housewife. Mother. Good female friend. Artist.

I’m not sure the other card is actually one of the cards in the deck but more like an extra? I can’t say. I am no good at translating it but my husband says it says “Rewards Earned” at the top. Then “5 grand prizes, 10 gold medals, and a diploma of honor”. So maybe a note about the deck being awarded? IDK.

If it is the 4 of cups then it means: Conversations. Reach an agreement. Good communication.

Last week my daughter and I walked this route and looked everywhere for the remaining cards without success. Then, today, on another Sunday walk, the cards are just….there. WTF? And these don’t really make much sense if added to the other two I found. Not sure what to make of these two.

Since then I have learned that the 4 of Cups is in fact one of the cards in the deck and not an extra. If the cards are messages then it could read as: Card 1 = I meet someone who fits this description in some way and Card 2 = we have a good conversation or reach some kind of agreement.

I will say that while my BIL and SIL were staying with us (their house was without water and power), I had “good conversations” with my SIL, who, BTW, fits the description except for the “artist” part. I also wouldn’t call her a good friend, but she is more my friend than anyone else around me at this time in my life.

OR the traditional meaning of the two cards could be applied, but then I don’t want to go into that right now. It’s seems too complicated. If you want to give the traditional card interpretation a try, have at it. I would love to hear what you think the cards mean!

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Message: Reset

For the second time this year (first was in January) we are seeing snow accumulation in the Austin area. This isn’t just any accumulation either! In my back yard alone I measured 5 inches but the average for the area is 4-8 inches!

I woke around midnight and that is when I first saw the mini-blizzard outside. Snow coming down hard. Wind blowing the snow in circles and sideways. Frigid temperatures not often seen this far South.

I had to go outside and experience it for myself. Just watching it from inside wasn’t going to do. Wearing my pajamas with snow boots and heavy coat, I went out in the storm. The snow was already drifting, nearly freezing the front door shut. I stood in the middle of the street, which was barely recognizable, and just stood there experiencing the rare event, an event that may never recur in my lifetime. The snow swirled around me and the wind whipped snow into my face over and over again. The word “blizzard” came to mind followed by “white out”. No way this could be happening! I must have entered an alternate reality!

I took pictures and video, my hands turning red and then hurting indicating I should go inside and warm up. Once I did, I went back out and walked up to the main road and looked in the distance at the bigger, 4-lane road ahead. A car flew by and I thought, “Who the hell is driving at 1am in these conditions?” Surely the road would be shut down? Apparently not!

Pictures I took at around 1am CST. I would post a video but I can’t. If you follow me on Instagram you can see the “blizzard” video I took, though:

When I finally went back to bed, I couldn’t sleep. I was too excited and my mind was all over the place. It took me until around 4am to fall asleep.

Dream: Wearing a Dead Body

I was in a school (lessons) setting with others like myself. I reported to the lab where others were working on their lab assignments. Lab tables were scattered about the room but they looked like operating tables (healing environment). I remember discussing my situation with someone there. A visual comes to mind of someone taking an oversized dildo and sticking it into a corpse’s vagina. The message was that it was ill advised to do such a thing because it would rupture the body (could be about forcing the Kundalini energy).

I ended up going up to my teacher and asking for a key to her classroom but I called it a bathroom. I went inside to use the toilet (relief sought) but was interrupted when a man came in. I was startled and said, “I should have locked the door.” He went about his business as I sat there in shock, struggling to put my underwear (private matter) back on. The underwear was stained with blood that was a very dark red, almost black. I was trying to hide it because I knew it meant that my body was dying or already dead. I had tried to insert something into my vagina to see if it would rupture and the blood indicated it would. It indicated my body was dying or already dead.

When I went to join the others I remember feeling very awkward and knowing I was inhabiting a dead body. It would not last long and I was worried about what would happen when I was forced to discard it, or “drop” it. I remember a woman was with me attempting to calm me as we walked together to the gymnasium where others in my group were already training.

When I got into the school gymnasium (preparing to put experience to use) I saw others wearing white shorts and shirts doing plyometrics and stretching. I was asking the woman what would happen when I dropped my already dead body. It felt like wearing a heavy, uncomfortable suit. She said, “Don’t worry, you’ll know what to do.” I remember knowing that once I dropped it, I would feel free; unburdened. At this point I remember thinking that I was possibly being shown what will happen when I die. I was not discouraged by this or afraid. Instead I was hopeful. Perhaps I am being prepared to exit this life? Perhaps I am going to get what I have been asking for most of this lifetime?

The last thing I recall is seeing a large graphic placed in front of me. It was in full color and there were symbols and pictures of recognizable human items and activities on it. Someone said to me, “25 days” and it felt like this was when I would “drop” my body. As I woke, my lower back was aching and I could feel energy in my second chakra.

Note: Dropping my body is likely not physical death but referring to an upgrade where I discard an energetic body that is no longer functional or doing me any good. In it’s place I am given a new energetic body, one that functions as it is meant to and assist me in my life journey.

Message: Reset

When I woke I was worrying that the songs Collide and Crash Into Me could be forewarning an actual collision that could cause physical harm – like a car accident. The dream may have been the result of my worry or the cause of it, but I can’t say for sure. I was still in the in-between and hearing my guides, though their words are mostly lost to me. I do recall hearing them say the word “reset” as an explanation of the present moment.

When I went out to greet the newly fallen snow, the word “reset” was repeated. It felt like the message was not just about me. The world is also experiencing a kind of reset.

The message, “Reset”, is not a new one. In fact, I have heard it at least three times before this one. Here is a post where I discuss the reset message and what I think it means. This post was the last time I write about the reset message – 2017.

My best guess at the time is that a reset is a clearing of all of the chakras, either all at once or individually. Based upon my own personal experience, these resets usually involve a major Kundalini rising event that effectively clears blockages all at once. Like a giant tidal wave of energy that pours through me and washes me clean from the inside. Considering my dream is about my second chakra, perhaps I will finally clear the stubborn blockages that have led me so often to feel dead, unmotivated and lacking desire?

If the reset is also about the world, then maybe the entire world will be going through a kind of reset, too? If this is the case then we need to be prepared because resets are never easy on the physical body. My guess is the “physical body” of the world is being affected; thus, the Earth itself is being reset. What will this look like? Well, maybe blizzard conditions in Texas is part of it? Twice in one year is unheard of in itself but the sheer amount of snow is very unusual. Add to that the very real possibility that this snow will be added to on Wednesday with temperatures remaining at and below freezing all week. Well, damn.

I know, also, that there are some who say the Earth has chakras and they are at set locations around the globe. Here is one such article describing the Earth’s chakras with a map of their locations. It is possible that the reset will be noticeable in these locations. How? I’m not sure but I would think that if one looks to how the human body reacts to the cleansing Kundalini then you can get an idea of how the Earth will respond. My first thought is weather patterns, like we are already seeing – fires, floods, increases in tornadoes, hurricanes, blizzards and extreme temperature fluctuations. Then, of course, earthquakes, tsunamis, and volcanic activity. Mass extinction events may also arise. The Covid-19 virus and variants are also a likely result. All are an attempt by planet Earth to rebalance itself. Reset.

What can you do about it? Breathe. Listen to your body. Listen to your heart. Allow yourself to reset; come into balance. Every one of us who successfully resets is assisting planet Earth and the Collective.

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My Prediction

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Woke this morning to a memory of what happened last year on this day. My sister was admitted to the hospital with sepsis and an emotional rollercoaster would follow with her near death and continued struggled. Ultimately, she got her new heart valve and now seems back to “normal”, though we all suspect that she is still using Meth based upon the continued bad luck she and her husband continues to have.

For example, they got kicked out of their RV parking spot by the land owners who stole everything they had stored in the land owner’s shed. Then, when they moved to their new spot, the shed next to their RV unexpectedly caught fire and exploded, damaging their RV and incinerating all their belongings inside the shed. So the things they got to replace the previously stolen items were destroyed by the fire. Everyone in our family suspects the fire may have been caused by a meth lab gone wrong because my cousin, my sister’s husband, has been known to do dumb things like that in the past. I have since discarded that idea because police and firefighters were everywhere and no arrests were made.

This morning I reflected briefly on all that happened last year to include the premonitory dream I had that warned of my sister’s admittance to the hospital on Feb 14th. The message was clear from the dream: “This is just a drill”. It leaves me wondering, though, if that was a drill, when will the real event occur because “drill” suggests one is on the horizon?

Spiritual Happenings

Since my last post my dream recall is on the decline. I suspect the spikes in geomagnetic activity were partially the cause of the uptick in activity, at least for me. I have read many articles and posts suggesting some kind of download was happening, but I didn’t receive such a message myself. Instead, my guidance appeared to be working with me more closely and allowing me to recall those interactions in detail. Why? My only guess is they are preparing me for something. What? Well, it is hard to be certain and, as usual, I take what they tell me and “put it on the shelf”. I am always wary of the messages I received because I have been disappointed way too many times by my misinterpretation.

While dream activity wanes, life continues to bring messages. The messages come in unexpected ways and seem to be building upon one another.

At the Office

On my way out of the office on the 12th, I checked in on my BIL. He was sitting at his computer with this far-off look on his face. I waved, he noticed and nodded his head but still looked overly preoccupied. I thought to myself as I went into the bathroom, “[I should] invite him to lunch.” The thought was loud, and I heard two versions of it – one was my own thought and another was not. With it came this feeling from within as if I were receiving instructions. I considered inviting him myself but as I came out of the bathroom the receptionist said my husband was in the car waiting for me.

When I got into the car I told my husband my idea and said, “He looks like he needs a break.” My husband immediately dialed his brother’s number and invited him. He accepted and joined us for lunch.

At lunch I asked my BIL if he was getting any sleep. They just welcomed a new baby girl a few weeks ago. He said he was and we went on to have a nice conversation with our meal. He is normally not very communicative with me but he and I locked eyes several times and I could feel his openness to my invitation to share. I told him it was my idea to invite him because he looked like he needed a break. He thanked me and said he was “bogged down” and then added, “Sometimes you just have to walk away”.

The conversations were positive and we discussed how his wife is like my husband and how he, my BIL, is similar to me. My BIL needs time to himself and is not overly social. I considered that he may be a 2nd line (HD) like me but did not bring this to his attention. He may even be a Projector based upon how he responded to my invitation to share. It was like he experienced a kind of relief at my invitation. 

On my way home I thought about how that “voice” felt and how the invitation to my BIL came about. It was very unusual. The idea of inviting him felt good….joyful. When I wondered to myself, “What happened?” I heard my guides reply with, “You were listening.” ha!

May be a closeup of nature

Take a Walk, Make $20

Later that same day, I decided to go on a walk despite the frigid temperatures and a recent ice storm. I was in a very positive mood, listening to my music and singing as I walked. Yeah, it was cold, but when it is cold in Texas people become scarce which is just how I like it to be! 🙂

As a familiar song played, one that had recently been part of a dream message, I spotted a $20 bill right on the side of the road. It was in a puddle left from the recent thunderstorm. It was totally unexpected and I laughed for a while, especially when two more songs followed behind the first, songs also recently given as a message. The songs were – Lovesong, Collide, and Crash Into Me.

Message: Angel Fly

The next day I felt like meditating in the middle of the day (not usual for me). After about half an hour I began to go into the in-between state and even had fleeting dreams.

Not long after I fell into a vision/dream type scenario. It was both like I was experiencing it as well as observing it. I was walking. A fly flew into my mouth. I had memory of times when I go running and accidentally end up swallowing a bug. There is nothing you can do but cough and think, “Oh well. It’s too late now!” 

Once aware of the vision I heard someone say, “It’s an angel fly.” I thought, “What?” This brought me out of my reverie. I relaxed a bit and fell back into meditating. That’s when I heard, “You won’t know until it happens.” 

I got up after that. The message was clear, though, and I can’t help but wonder what it means. Will something happen and leave me feeling similarly to how I feel when I accidentally swallow a bug while running? Ewww! lol I told my daughter and said, “I think it means that I won’t see it or know it is coming until it happens and then there will be nothing I can do about.” Being it is a fly, it may be a minor annoyance but symbolically flies represent sudden change and transformation. But an angel fly? 

And More Messages

Yesterday morning, I woke and then lingered in bed meditating. A song was going through my head followed by another. First I heard, “Crash into me and I come into you.” Then, I heard, “Where have you been all my life?” repeat over and over again. At the same time, a guide was talking to me. I remember waking up now and again with visuals of finding money in random places. I also remember being told, “He is a Leo” and knowing this guide was discussing a person I would meet soon. My response was that I disliked Leo men because of their selfish tendencies. With this I got a reminder of a previous message, “Fire with Fire.” I somehow knew the meeting was in March and wondered how long it would last. I heard two to three weeks. I asked if this would be the same man I would meet in October and heard, “You will see.” Then there was a flash of a vivid image of a man with dark hair standing in front of me. His eyes were pale, sky blue and so bright they seemed to glow.

My Prediction

Based upon the messages and signs coming through, my guess as to the overall message is something like this:

At some point in the future I will meet someone. My guess is it will be in the Spring (March). The tarot cards I found suggest this person is male, intelligent and visiting for a short time. He might be a fire sign and the meeting with him will be similar to accidentally “swallowing a fly”, meaning I won’t see it coming until it is too late to do anything about it and I may initially be annoyed. I could end up feeling “split” because of this meeting and so experience internal conflict, or a “yes” and “no” tug-of-war inside. The money suggests a streak of “good luck” and the angel fly message implies that the meeting will be helpful in some way. Maybe he is/acts as an “angel” in that he provides me with something I need on my spiritual path? Regardless, I am being asked to “listen” and “follow my joy”. If I do this, I will successfully navigate the experience.

We’ll see if I am right. If not, no biggie. I prefer not to “swallow a fly” anyway. lol

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OBE and Council of 12

Very busy night of dreams. It felt like I was partially awake the entire night, talking to someone. As a result, I do not feel very rested. 

Lucid to OBE

I remember being partially lucid in a dream with my husband and our daughter. We were on the road near my Mom’s home. I remember meeting my daughter on the road and it being sectioned off and overlaid with a room with translucent walls. My husband had followed me and was attempting to get me to dance with him and was acting openly sexual, touching me and saying things only I should hear. I was concerned that our daughter was close by and would see and hear us, so I kept avoiding his advances, walking away as soon as he got close enough to touch me. I remember feeling the intensity of his sexual desire and that near frantic flow that often comes from him when I refuse him. The obsessive push from him was not attractive and so I pulled away (push-pull) and turned toward the back of the “house”, looking out a window.

This is when I realized I was asleep and immediately took control and jumped out the window, flying up into the air. That familiar pull grabbed hold of me and I accelerated upward with great speed. Knowing I was going up into space and remembering my decision to not resist It after my last OBE, I surrendered and told It, “Take me to my mom’s house. I want to go to Mom’s house.” I focused on where I hoped to end up as I closed my eyes and entered the void.

Slowing down, I was suddenly dropped in front of Mom’s house but much farther away than I intended. My vision turned on vividly and I told It, “Not this far away from her house.” lol 

I flew toward the house, noticing the details of it and my surroundings. I compared the house to the real one, noting the brick color matched but the front entry was not the same. The front porch became like another room itself. It was enclosed and of a light green color. The front door was a bright, velvety red color and very distinct and inviting. 

When I went inside the house was not at all like the one in real life. It was long and rectangular shaped, like a mobile home. The floors were covered in tiny, square, aqua-blue tiles and the walls were a vibrant white. My mom was sitting on a sofa to my left and smiled when she saw me. I marveled at the changes I observed in the home’s appearance as I walked around and took it all in. The odd part was that it was not filled with furniture but with vending machines, some antiques. It appeared they were on display, though they were functional and could be used. 

I continued to explore and recognized the layout was different, too. On my right was the master bedroom and at the other end of the house was another bedroom. I asked, “What about the third bedroom?” but heard no answer. 

I entered the second bedroom and it was very large, with two twin beds with pink covers. The room was messy and very lived in and I immediately thought it was my daughter’s. I mentioned how three people could occupy the room based upon its size. 

I begin to lose lucidity in this part of the dream, caught up in the exploration of this mobile home. I saw a section in the bedroom that looked to be the inside of a factory. It had steam pipes coming out of the floor. It was still a brilliant white, though. I asked about it and was told the third bedroom lay just beyond. I wanted to go investigate but was asked to look at the walk-in closet. 

Inside the closet was very large and also rectangular, extending so far back it could easily be used as a bedroom. I mentioned this to whoever I was talking to (male energy). At the far back of the closet was a door going outside and I could see a fully erect tent big enough for six people set up. As I exited the closet I was thinking the closet must be the third bedroom but the male energy said the lights and a/c were controlled by a switch on the outside. 

On my way out of the large mobile home I was told the third bedroom was in a new, upgraded model and asked if I was interested in purchasing it. I said I would be as I went to explore this third bedroom. When I went inside I don’t remember seeing a bedroom. All I saw was a brilliant white and then my memory stops.

Discussion

When I woke around 4am I remembered that I had been OBE. There was also a feeling of being among a group. The energy was different and I could feel my own energy body responding, specifically around my solar plexus and along my spine. 

Acknowledging those around me, I asked, “Who are you?” I heard back, “We are the 12.” I thought back, “My council?” and felt this was an accurate description. They replied that they were there to assist.

They spoke as One and said, “We want to ask you some questions.” I agree to this and waited. I heard, “Are you ready?” I said, “Is that one of the questions?” They did not answer so I figured it must be. I took a while to answer because I wasn’t sure what they were asking. Ready for what? I felt two answers. One from my human self and one from my High Self. So I said, “Yes and no. One part is (HS) and the other isn’t sure (human self).” 

Then They asked, “What do you want?” My answer to this was, “Freedom.” They didn’t respond and I felt they wanted me to clarify. I shared what freedom meant to me – freedom from this world and physical prison, freedom from expectation. I imagined flying with no limits on what I could do.

They prompted me to focus on this lifetime. If I couldn’t leave this life (which they said is not possible yet), then what did I want? 

At this point I fell back to sleep and entered another dream. 

Dream

I am in a city, somewhere downtown where people go to socialize. I remember sitting at a table with some “friends”, all spiritually minded and similar to myself. I didn’t recognize any of them but we were talking about our individual paths and I remember telling the group, “Anything I start right now will be successful.” What is interesting here is that while I said this I also heard someone telling me this. I heard, “Anything you do right now will be successful” but along with it I heard, “What would you like to do?”

I remember some ideas came to me. I shared them with the group. One was a website which I saw in detail. I don’t know what the website was for, though, it just felt very sophisticated and well planned. I spent quite a bit of time mulling this over with the group. 

Then I remember hearing, “There is only a very narrow window of time.” It felt like I was getting shown my “chart”. It reminded me of astrology, as if the stars were providing me with an opening but this opening would not last very long so I needed to decided what I wanted before this period ended.

Then I was imagining a store – my own business – and this appealed to me. Again, I don’t know what kind of store it was but the part that appealed to me was that I did not have direct involvement in the store’s day-to-day operation. A manager did it for me and I was merely the owner and mostly observed and made general decisions. The feeling from it was pride at my accomplishment and the fact that it provided me the freedom to do whatever I liked. 

Though I felt encouraged to create something new, I had no motivation to do so and told the group, “I like my life as it is.”

This is when an old friend of mine entered. By this time I was sitting alone at a table. She sat across from me. When I saw her she appeared to be a mixture of people I have known in this life, all very close friends of mine. It felt like I hadn’t seen her in a long time. Her energy was very high and I knew she was someone who had no roots. She floated from here to there, never staying in one place very long. She was also into drugs and I knew she was likely intoxicated in that moment. 

I pulled a small, glass container from my pocket. It looked like an essential oils bottle, only about 1oz capacity. I opened the bottled and held it over my tongue. I felt several drops land on my tongue. My friend asked for the bottle. I handed it to her and she took some, too, only much more than was normal. Half the bottle went into her mouth. I mentioned it was a bit too much and she was not concerned. She laughed and jumped up, flitting away like a little bird.

Realizing I had just ingested some kind of drug, I decided it best that I leave before the drug began to take effect. I got up and noticed I was outside in an unfamiliar city. I suddenly had no idea where I was and the parking lot where I thought I had left my car was not there. So I wandered around the streets looking for something familiar, worried and confused.

Eventually, I wandered into an office building of some kind. The dream becomes hazy here but I remember standing at a counter that had a large printer on it. A man was behind the counter. I held up two empty food containers and asked, “Can you recycle this for me?” He seemed not to hear me and walked out a side door to my side of the counter. That is when I saw the door and said, “Oh! I didn’t realize the door was right there.”  

Continued Discussion

When I woke I continued to feel the same feeling as before. It is hard to describe, like a group is gathered close but there is also a pull felt, as if I am being Called, but it is faint. 

A song was going through my head, which I am not sure has any significance. I kept hearing, “Just like the white winged dove….” 

They asked me again what I wanted in regards to this life. The feeling, that Call, was there and so I said that if I had to stay that I wanted to answer that Call. It is magnetic. It Calls out from within me this intense need or desire for…..something. I can’t explain it and I think it has always been there. I don’t know what it wants from me. I just feel it and want nothing more than to surrender to it. 

I was reminded of the friend in my dream. The friend who floated about, unchained and free, intoxicated with Life. They suggested my desire was to be like her, that she IS me. I felt this as true but, I don’t know how to be her. 

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Found: Another Tarot Card

Today, even though I felt tired and wanted to take a nap, I felt an urge to go on a long walk. So, I traveled the same route as last week. Since I felt urged to go on the walk, I kept an eye out along the way for items that might relay a message, just in case.

On the way back, on the same bridge as last week, I stopped and looked over the bridge. Below me, I noticed a card poking out of a pile of leaves. Just like last time, I couldn’t tell what was on the face of the card. I picked it up and this is what I found:

11 Knight of Coins

I had no idea what this card was. Never seen this deck. So, I Googled it. Found out it is a Spanish playing card deck, La Baraja Espanola, used most often for games and fortune telling.

This card is from the coin suite, the 11 is the Knight (Caballo).

Meaning: Eleven (Caballo) : Traveler. Somebody from afar. Good friend. Intelligent, confident man. The matter at hand.

The card I found last week (6 of Cups or Copas) means this:

Six (Seis): Love. Start of a love affair. Passion.

Six of Cups

The cards are from the same deck. I didn’t search through the leaves to see if the entire deck is there. I figure I can go on a walk next week and see if another one is poking out. lol

Anyway, the message looks to be: Love, Passion and/or the start of a love affair with a traveler/friend from afar who is intelligent and confident.

Here is a link to the site where the information about the deck and card meanings.

If you don’t recall my other post, my finding of playing cards began in December. I found the 6 of Hearts first and so when I found the six of Cups later on, I wondered if the two cards had the same meaning. What I found online said it did, but some friends mentioned it might have an altogether different meaning. I wasn’t sure, but my initial reaction was the second card was a confirmation and reminder of the first card.

January 7th

Finding this card and figuring out the meaning of it and the potential message of the two cards combined, I was reminded of something that happened in January.

From my private journal:

Woke at around 5:30am to a male guide telling me, “You will meet someone in October.” My first thought was that I didn’t want to wait that long. Of course, when I woke I was feeling like I want to exit this life, so the message was likely in response to that. My guidance “hangs carrots” in front of me to keep me going. So being told that I will meet someone in October doesn’t necessarily mean a romance is coming. It could mean anything. 

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Dream: Driving a Bus and Music Messages

Busy night. I had a night-long dream. One of those the continues even after waking up and seems to have a story-like feel to it. It wasn’t too vivid, though, so pieces are missing from my memory now that I am fully awake and starting my day.

Dream: Driving a Bus

The beginning is hazy but I remember ending up driving a school bus despite not really wanting to. Someone or something created the need for this. The need resulted from my partner being taken in another bus. I was to follow behind in my bus. I remember driving on the highway and taking sharp turns to get to a location out in the country. The feeling along the way was that I was being pushed in this direction as if by a momentum or pressure from a group. I don’t remember anyone being on the bus with me, though, just that a guide or energy was next to me. 

There is a brief memory of seeing my partner at the location when I arrived but he was being kept separate from me and was always off in the distance. I could see him but I couldn’t get to him. 

At some point my group began to materialize. I remember seeing faces but can’t recall them now. I do feel my family in physical reality was part of this group, especially my children. 

We were taken to a location where a movie was being filmed. The location was chosen for the specific architecture. It reminded me of an archeological dig site in the middle east or fertile crescent area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. There were partially uncovered walls from ancient buildings. These walls were uncovered enough that one could walk through the buildings. The walls were about knee to waist high. Below the old buildings and down some stairs was a busy highway. It was quite loud from all the passing cars and traffic. I remember thinking it an odd choice to shoot a movie scene.

I watched as everyone arrived on set. An older man stood out from the crowd. I knew he was the producer of the movie. He was short, had a protruding belly and gray hair. He was also quite hairy because I remember seeing hair poking through the collar of his shirt. His arms were also quite hairy. All the hair was graying. He felt to be of a different origin than myself. Grecian maybe? Like someone I would have seen on an ancient coin or old painting of someone from long ago.

There was a backstory going on at the same time but I don’t remember it enough to recount it here. While this story was being filmed I found myself inside a very large, king-sized bed next to the man and I felt others were in the bed also but never saw them. I remember talking to the man about the shoot location. How were they going to filter out all the noise from passing traffic? He said they would mute the sound and then fill it in later.

Towards the end of the dream I became very conscious of the man being close to me in this huge bed. He was pointing out a tree growing inside one of the houses on the hill where the filming was taking place. The tree was fairly short and squat, like something that would grow in an arid climate. It reminded me of an olive tree. Its branches were twisted and gnarled and it had tiny leaves growing on it. I could see all of this in my mind’s eye as if through a window.

The man wrapped his legs around me. I could feel his body hair up against my body and wondered if he was naked. Then I remember someone asking me, “Are you naked?” I didn’t know. I remember saying, “I just got a new sweater.” In my mind’s eye I saw a very comfortable, baby blue sweater. 

I began to gain lucidity at this time because I recognized that the sweater represented protection and to be naked represented trust and openness. For some reason I did not trust this man but I knew there was no reason not to.

The man brought my attention back to the tree. He said they selected the location for the film for a very specific reason. As I looked at the tree I noticed it was covered in faces, the faces of cats and kittens. I thought it very strange but answered the man with, “Oh! I see!” and said something about how rare such trees were. The faces on it began to move as if alive.

The last thing I remember was being in bed with this man. He was on my right facing away from me laying on his side. I felt his legs reach back and hook through my own, pulling me up close to him so that we were spooning. I remember him asking if I wanted to connect with him. I said it was okay. This is when I saw a visual of my sweater coming off as if being told that trust was needed.

This is when I woke up but entered into the in-between where the man and I continued to communicate.

Discussion

What was said was intermixed with various songs and visuals which makes it hard to relay the conversation word-for-word. What I remember most was being asked to reconsider a decision that was made. I was asked what I felt more than once and why I felt the way I did. I don’t recall really understanding some of the feelings I contacted nor the reasons I felt them. I do remember that part of the discussion was in my decision to limit Kundalini connections and interactions to dreamtime. It felt like I was being told that I had moved past that stage and now needed to take what I’d learned and apply it to physical reality. 

Whoever I was talking to was asking permission to contact me and as this was happening songs came into my mind. Just parts of them, though. 

The song first was Lovesong and “I will always love you” was repeated with the melody as messages were coming through. It was more telepathic, though, full of feeling. The only words I recall came from the song.

I kept trying to leave the conversation as I was mostly awake by this time, but a feeling kept saying, “Don’t go” and so I lingered in bed and continued to receive communication. Each time I wanted to end off, a song would come to mind. The lyrics I heard came from the song, More Than You Know – “I just need to get it off my chest, yeah more than you know, yeah more than you know….”.

Dream Interpretation

A school bus is indicative of a life lesson. The fact that I am driving the bus shows that I am in control and directing the lesson while others follow in my lead. The split from a partner in this case indicates a split from a decision, lesson or path that involved a partner. I feel pressured to return to this lesson by an unknown energy to my left and ultimately pursue the other bus and my partner. There isn’t really a resistance to the request but I feel pressure.

The setting of the movie feels like I am being shown something from my past. It would have been in a location from long ago, likely in the fertile crescent. The archeological dig indicates this past has been partially revealed but only the foundations remain. The man in the dream, or the producer, is unfamiliar to me and this part of the dream feels to be a communication from him to me. 

The king-sized bed could be an indicator that I am lucid. Beds, for me, are my safe place. They are comfortable and cozy. I go to my bed for privacy, peace and relaxation. Beds can indicate avoidance of something, also. The fact that this man is in bed with me indicates he is able to penetrate my defenses. He is with me in my safe place. The sweater I am wearing indicates I am not fully open to this, though, and he is since he is naked. He is facing away from me which I feel is him communicating to me that he is not a threat. The fact that I allow him to intertwine his legs with mine indicates I am partially open to him occupying my space.  The visual I see of my sweater taken off is a communication from him. I am being asked to trust. I don’t do this in the dream but I do remember being confused as to whether I am naked or not. I can’t tell.

The trees with cat faces is unusual. Trees are about the cycle of life, knowledge, and wisdom. This tree is short, gnarled and obviously very old. Cats in my dreams tend to symbolize the feminine, feminine sexuality and the Kundalini energy. Often in my dreams they are annoyances to me, rubbing up against my leg or showing up in strange places where I am unable to avoid them. I’ve had dreams where an entire hoard of cats was pursuing me on a mountain top and I was trying to get away but was overcome by them. I’ve also had dreams where a cat was dying or sick, but those a rare. I’ve never seen cat faces on a tree, though. My best guess is that the cat faced tree represents feminine wisdom and growth. The cat faces are like fruits on the tree, so perhaps a cycle of life or lifetimes has matured, produced fruit and is ripe for the picking? 

I do know that a part of me wanted to linger in the in-between this morning. I felt pulled toward the in-between, similar to how how I felt when I was made to drive the bus in my dream. 

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6 of Cups…6 of Hearts?

Today it is beautiful in Texas. Sunny, 65 degrees, with a light breeze. The energy was expansive. Yes. Expansive. That’s how it feels to me, anyway.

Some pictures of my walk to give you an idea of what “expansive” feels like. 🙂

I wish I had taken more pics today but I was too busy feeling it all. I sat by the creek for a bit, listening, breathing and feeling. It was nice and there weren’t very many people out, not that it would’ve mattered.

I ended up walking for over an hour. 4 miles in all! Ha!

Messages

Okay, so now for the interesting part of my walk. I wrote a while back about finding items on my walks, items I seemed to actually manifest with my thoughts. I found a tube of unopened Chapstick first, then some Apple earbuds (also new) and finally two, twenty dollar bills (yep!). Eventually, I couldn’t think of anything physical I wanted to manifest so I asked the Universe to show me what I needed to know. One of the first things I came across was a playing card in the grass. 6 of Hearts.

On December 18th I wrote this on Facebook (not sure why I didn’t post it here)”:

Remember when I kept finding things on my walks? I didn’t stop attempting to manifest stuff, I just lost interest in material things. I actually asked to be given or shown what was needed. Usually I don’t find any items but that very day I saw a playing card on the side of the road – the 6 of Hearts. I have walked past it every day, taking note of it, but never really looking any deeper into the meaning. Today I saw it again, didn’t pick it up and forgot about it until just now.

Here is the meaning:

It represents the masculine.
It can be an unmarried male romantic partner, family member or friend, always loved by the sitter.
It is often considered the Soulmate card – past lives/karmic.
It can represent communion, knowledge, study and learning.

That was over a month ago and nearly forgotten, until today.

Within the first half-mile of my walk, I saw another card, this time face down, laying in a pile of leaves and rubble that had built up on the bridge I was walking over. At first I walked past it. I was singing along to a song and just feeling really joyful, playful and happy. I was contemplating dancing as I walked, but didn’t because it was a busy road. But despite continuing on I felt an urge to turn back and pick it up. I had to.

Never would I have believed it to be what it was.

That ain’t no playing card!! That’s a tarot card! WTF!?

I can’t remember now if it was right side up or not. I don’t think it even matters. When I saw it I thought, “6 of…..cups?” I mean, those are odd looking cups but then what else could they be?

I tucked the card in my pocket and went on my merry way.

When I got a bit further on my walk I encountered a single, black crow on the path in front of me. I stopped. It stopped. We stared at each other for a bit. I grabbed my phone, fumbled around trying to get it into camera mode, and as I began to aim to take a pic it flew up in the air, cawing at me and joined another crow off to my left.

I continued to my walk, taking note of the crow but not really knowing what to think.

When I got home I pulled the card out of my pocket and examined it. Yep. A tarot card. Definitely NOT a coincidence that I found it.

6 of Cups Message

First off, the 6 of Cups has the same meaning as the 6 of Hearts. I only discovered this after a Google search. I don’t know much about traditional tarot decks (i.e. Rider-Waite) so bear with me. I read tarot using my intuition and rarely read the book descriptions. Unfortunately, looking at the image on the card I found does nothing for my intuition. I thought the cups were crowns, though, so maybe a good sign? lol

Since I wasn’t asking a question and just randomly found the card on my walk, many explanations for the card meaning don’t apply. So, the standard, one card meaning would be something like this:

The Six of Cups in the upright position is a card of pleasures. This card tells about good times and generally remind us of good times, but it could tell about happy times that are just around the corner, those that will turn into amazing new memories.

It is the card of indulgence, periods without any serious problems and reasons to worry.

As this is the card related to ancestry, it could be a sign of a great family gathering, about getting in touch with relatives you haven’t heard from for ages or, even, meeting distant relatives you did not know you have.

For those more inclined towards the psychic, this card could be a sign from the ancestors or make one pay attention to the signs along the road, for those might be messages from ancestors.

Source

What I found is that everyone has a slightly different explanation of the card. Some call it the “soulmate” card. Others the “pleasures” card.

What I am wondering is, why am I seeing this card again? If it is indeed the same as the 6 of Hearts, that is, and that is what I am finding.

Alternative Names:  Six of Cups, Six of Hearts     

All Tarot decks call this suit “Cups.”

The Thoth Tarot titles the Six of Cups as “Pleasure.” 

The Voyager Tarot titles the Six of Cups as “Sorrow.”      

In a deck of regular playing cards this suit is called “Hearts”

Source

Then there is the crow. They are not very common around here and mostly they are in the trees making lots of noise, not sitting alone on the path I am walking. Most definitely not something to disregard.

The Crow (no, not the movie! lol)

It is not a bad omen like most might assume. It can be considered the “trickster” though, meaning it can shape shift and take on any form it chooses in order to pass on its message. And messages are its specialty. When a crow crosses your path it is there to pass on a message. Most of the time that message is something previously known or received by the recipient. It is a sign to the recipient saying, “You know what to do.” Of course, part of the mystery of the crow is in the message because in order to understand it, you must first Know yourself!

Key words:

Creative Force

Transformation

Alchemy

Quick-Wittedness

Daring

Ethics

Honor

Overcoming Fear

Ancestral Magic

Mischief

Working with the “Shadow Self”

Source

So, if I am understanding Crow’s message right, it is to remind me of the tarot card message. AND being I am seeing this card for the second time now, I must not be truly grokking its meaning! Ugh!

What did I miss? Or… is something still in process where I thought conclusion had occurred?

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Dream: Erupting Volcano and Lightning Tower

As the “great conjunction” approaches my need for sleep has increased but my ability to fall asleep has decreased. I suspect all the holiday activities are to blame. My company held its annual Christmas party yesterday and so I spent several hours around a large group. While there I could sense them all – their gratitude, their struggles, their worries, their hope – and felt a comradery I’ve not felt before. Most of our employees I know only in name and feelings their individual energies was revealing in more than one way. But the more people I am around, the more wired I tend to be afterward. Sometimes it can take hours for me wind down.

Despite my lack of sleep I am having higher instances of Kundalini activity and my dream recall is also increasing.

I can’t help but wonder if the great conjunction of Saturn and Jupiter is contributing to all this new activity. Years ago, after several OBEs, I woke with memory of the movie The Dark Crystal. Here is the post if you want to read about it.

The theme song of the movie was in my head along with memories of the prophecy the entire movie was based upon. I loved the movie as a child so the memories immediately took me back to that time in my life. Surprising, I recalled the prophecy word-for-word:

When single shines the triple sun,
What was sundered and undone
Shall be whole, the two made one,
By Gelfling hand, or else by none.

When I heard about the up and coming “great conjunction” I recalled the part of the movie where Aughra said, “The great conjunction is at hand!” In another part of the movies she describes what the conjunction means:

“The Great Conjunction is the end of the world…or the beginning. End, begin. All the same! Big change! Sometimes good, sometimes bad!“

I had the below dream two nights ago. You will see how this dream relates to the above conjunction message if you focus on the symbolism of the dream.

Dream: Erupting Volcano and Lightning Tower

I was in a field behind my Mom’s house with my MIL (aspect of self, the old crone, wisdom). She was asking me to follow her. I had with me a bowl of food (spiritual sustenance) and my phone (communication). I saw that sky was overcast. Huge, dark clouds were rolling in but the sun’s rays were breaking through in areas. It was beautiful so I took out my phone to take photos but the food I carried was making it difficult. I couldn’t take a picture with just one hand and stood there fumbling a while before I put down the food bowl.

My MIL was waving for me to follow so I left the beautiful sky and ran after her. She was way ahead and I had to catch up.

The terrain changed. Trees disappeared and a rugged, dessert-like landscape took its place. I found myself standing near boulders (obstacles) at the base of a steep mountain (difficult path). Above and in the distance I saw a wide, solid red column of fire in the sky. In awe, I stood looking at it, again fumbling with my phone to take a picture. I remember exclaiming, “It’s a volcano (Kundalini)!” What is odd is that the eruption was not in spurts, shooting upward. Instead the column of fire seemed to flow like a river into the sky without any interruption in flow.

I went closer to inspect the odd volcano only to discover a tower rising high into the sky. It was like the tower connected to the sky and if you climbed it you could reach God. As I looked up at the tower I could see bolts of lightning striking it (the Tower card in traditional tarot). The entire tower would light up. I saw then it was made of metal in a grid fashion like a phone tower. The metal conducted the energy and the entire tower glowed bluish-white.

I remember climbing still further. Eventually we reached our destination which resembled an abandoned resort (transition is over) in a tropical area. I could see above me the empty rooms.  Rain (strong emotion) was falling in sheets but it didn’t get me wet. I walked toward the edge of the resort. There was a road that ended in a vast ocean. I could see a small fawn (true friends, faithfulness) struggling in the water. I wanted to save it and began to reach for it, telling my MIL, “Look! It’s a baby deer!” I could see it clearly as it approached the shore but then it morphed into a baby (new beginnings) when it reached the shore. I think I held it but can’t remember. 

Interpretation

This dream feels like both a warning and a Kundalini dream. The volcano is unlike what I’ve seen in other dreams. While volcanic eruptions are common Kundalini symbols in my dreams, the volcanoes tend to send fire into the sky in spurts. Sometimes there is lightning accompanying the eruption. I have described some of my experiences with the K energy as “lightning bolts of energy”, so that is likely what the lightning symbolizes in this dream as well. I find it interesting that in this dream the volcanic eruption is sustained, flowing continuously from root (Earth) to crown (Heaven).

Image from the Osho Zen Tarot deck

The tower is symbolic of the Tower card in tarot. When this card comes up it is a warning of major changes, usually unexpected. The change destroys the old to make way for the new. It typically shakes up the world of the person and there is no avoiding it. This is where the quote from Aughra comes in. The Tower card represents big change – sometimes good, sometimes bad but always destruction of the old to make way for the new.

The abandoned resort indicates a period of transition is over. The road, or my path, ends in an ocean of emotion and there is even more emotion with the rain, but I never get wet, meaning the emotion doesn’t overwhelm me. I try to rescue the fawn from drowning, meaning I want to avoid losing what the fawn represents – true friendship and/or faithfulness in a relationship. When it morphs into a baby it indicates new beginnings.

To add to the above dream and symbolism, I woke with the song Paradise by Coldplay in my head. The specific part I heard was:

And so lying underneath those stormy skies
She’d say, “Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, I know the sun must set to rise.”