Tag Archives: nature

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Dreams: Brain Surgery, Snake in Bedroom and Walk-Out

Hope everyone had a good Christmas. Mine went well. I slept wonderfully on Christmas Eve, something that has not happened in – well IDK how long. 

Been having lots of dreams lately. Going to document them here.

Brain Surgery

Dreamed I was getting a surgery on my head. I don’t recall the actual surgery, just brief moments where there was concern and then I was being told I had surgery. This part of the dream is hazy and it felt like I was male for some reason.

Then I was in a car with several others. It felt like we were all driving, squished up into the driver’s seat. I remember my perceptions were skewed. There were bright colors and streaks around me where the scenery should have been. I was screaming to the others, “I only have five years left to live.” The feeling was that the surgery was for something bad like cancer and though it helped me, it left me changed and I would not last more than 5 years as a result. I didn’t feel this was bad in the dream. It was more like I was on a psychedelic dream ride and I didn’t care.

Snake in Bedroom

There was a large, gray snake in my bedroom. At first I just let it be because it was hiding underneath items and didn’t seem interested in bothering me. I was still cautious, though, and couldn’t sleep for worry it might make its way into my bed. So, I decided to find it to get it out of my space. I got down on my hands and knees and started looking around with my flashlight. I looked under the bed and saw a bright green lizard with cool colors and patterns on his crest. He was awesome looking. As I was getting my camera to take a picture the snake came out of nowhere and ate the lizard in one bite. I watched in horror as the snake consumed it and then stared at the snake who was practically immobilized by the lump of the undigested lizard. 

I left the room to search for someone to help me get rid of the snake. No one would help me despite me telling them it would be easy to get him since he had just eaten. My sister ended up being the only person to help me. I woke before we could extricate the snake. 

School Fundraiser Order

I was in an elementary school as the counselor. I walked along the halls and ended up running into a student who said they had money to order the fundraiser items (not sure what it was). I took them to a desk and sat down, searching through the material to get the information. I told him that I didn’t know if the deadline to order had passed or not. He had cash and I asked if he also had a check. He said yes and I took it and said if it was past the deadline I could return the check. As he was leaving I found the info and it said the money had to be received four weeks before Christmas. I told him he wouldn’t get his item until January. At this point he was annoyed and I think took back the check. I remember being focused on the calendar and seeing two weeks before the holiday and two weeks after as if it was significant.

Walk-Out

I was with a group on the set of a film or show of some kind. I was watching a scene unfold. A woman had been injured and was presumed dead. She was on the floor pretending to be dead as the others in the scene gathered around her. She moved her head slightly and this caught my attention. I thought, “She needs to stay still or they will know she’s not dead.” I remember looking at the background – the props, the lighting – and noting two, small, pebble sized, white blobs on the wall. One minute they had iridescent coloring and another it was gone. The room was sparsely furnished and for some reason I thought if us all as dolls and thought, “Barbie.” I wondered pondered on it, almost gaining lucidity, but then the woman playing dead moved her head even more, this time very obvious to everyone in the room. The script was interrupted and had to be altered. The others in the room played along and improvised and, before I knew it, everyone was in on it and the whole movie or whatever it was ended with everyone telling the audience it was all a show and seeming relieved it was over. I felt shocked in the dream, not believing everyone was doing this, but I went along with it because, what could I do? If they didn’t play their parts as scripted, I couldn’t play mine.

We walked outside, the energy high as everyone chattered about the improvised ending. It seemed like no big deal. I watched two women standing in discussion about their roles and interrupted. I think they were talking about dolls and again I thought “Barbie”. I mentioned how they needed to learn how to share their dolls and looked at the woman on the right. I asked, “Are you an only child?” She nodded she was. I said, “Then you especially need to learn how to share your toys.” 

Then I was approached by a woman who asked me who my favorite actor was. I said I didn’t have one initially but then said, “Trey”. In my mind a visual of a young, handsome, man came to mind. Then the man appeared and asked me to dance. I agreed and took his hand. As we danced I could feel our bodies pressing against one another. He was fully dressed but I seemed to be naked. I could feel him becoming aroused. The dream ended there.

The actor in the dream who I said I liked and called “Trey” was Paul Wesley. 

Interpretation

The brain surgery dream was on Christmas Eve. It feels like the dream was telling me that, in five years, I will have a completely changed perception. This could be that I am seeing things differently, as in spiritual sight, or perhaps a change in personality – or everything even. Brain surgery symbolizes big change to my mental state and how I think, feel and perceive. In the dream the brain surgery feels necessary, like a life saving surgery would be. That I have so many others in the driver’s seat seems to indicate I will have a lot of help during this time. So, 5 years from now I will be “dead”, meaning the Old me will be gone. Or I guess it could mean I am really dead but I highly doubt that.  

The snake in the bedroom is likely related to my research of late regarding the Year of the Snake. It doesn’t officially end until February and during this time, also a nine year, those of us experiencing this intense period of rebirth will be removing the last remnants of our old “skin”. It could be a powerfully transformative time if we properly prepare ourselves. As we move into the Year of the Horse, we will experience a void of sorts, a time of integration and seemingly slow progress. Then the acceleration begins in February (Feb tends to be a time of intensity for me) and we will be propelled into intense change and rebirth. 

In the dream I am uncomfortable with the snake being in my bedroom (private self, innermost thoughts, desires and emotions). It appears I am struggling with shedding the last vestiges of the Old and so the snake makes me feel uneasy but I tolerate it. The lizard is found as I attempt to remove the snake and then the snake eats it. Lizards represent the primordial Self and survival along with instinct and fear. The snake eats it and I decide I have to remove the snake once and for all. I find it interesting that the lizard is so pretty and I am fascinated with it in the dream. Perhaps I will come to terms with some instinctual urges and shed considerations regarding those? 

The school dream feels more like a consideration about receiving something, a gift perhaps or something purchased, after the holidays in mid-January. 

The final dream appears to be a recognition that at some point the script will not be followed. I end up following along because I realize my part must be altered as well. So the connection to the greater Collective comes up and is accepted. The part about Barbies is interesting as I see myself and others as a doll or toy, which is also like an actor only one that is manipulated by a higher force. Learning to share comes up and I wonder if this is me pointing out how sometimes we need help? The end about the favorite actor seems to distract me for a bit. It seems completely unrelated to the movie were were actors in. I am naked and unconcerned. Nakedness is vulnerability but I see it as a good thing in dreamtime because it indicates I am opening myself to others and  new experiences.

In case you are wondering, the actor I call “Trey” in the dream is Paul Wesley. 

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Blue Heron and Garter Snake

The same day I blogged about how my ex reminded me of a snake, I nearly stepped on one on my morning walk. It was a garter snake. I had the opportunity to catch it but decided to let it be.

Later the same day, on my afternoon walk with my daughter, I saw a Great Blue Heron in the creek. It let us get really close and though it flew away, it came back twice after and other people stopped to take its photos. I wondered after if the heron may have seen the little snake. I know they eat them. 

From Ted Andrews iconic book on animal totems called “Animal Speak”:

“The blue heron is a totem (symbol) of someone who has chosen to claim their life as their own. According to North American Native tradition, the Blue Heron brings messages of self-determination and self-reliance. It represents an ability to progress and evolve. The long thin legs of the heron reflect that even though we must be able to stand on our own, we don’t need legs that are great massive pillars to remain stable.

Blue Herons have the innate wisdom of being able to maneuver through life and co-create their own circumstances.

If the Blue Heron has shown up as your totem, it reflects your need to follow your own unique wisdom and path of self-determination. You know what is best for yourself, and need to follow your heart rather than the promptings of others. You probably sit calmly while the rest of us lose patience. And when you choose to follow the promptings of your heart, you soar with magnificence.”

The snake appearing isn’t surprising since I have been seeing many of them lately. This one was small that was trying to get away and hide. According to Ted Andrews, the snake represents rebirth, resurrection, initiation, and wisdom. Snake represents wisdom expressed through healing, the creative life force, transformation and healing, and the cycle of death and rebirth. The death energy of Snake is indicative of a transformation, not actual death, and may be showing new opportunities to heal and transform oneself. It can also reflect one’s creative forces awakening or the stimulation of understanding how to apply one’s insight and intuition.

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Snake, Spider and Beaver Encounter

I had another snake encounter! This time I was able to touch it! I was tempted to pick it up but was too nervous. I think it was too cold to act quickly which is why it tolerated my touch. It remained in the same location all day and I went back and touched it again. I talked to it and thanked it for allowing me to touch it. I think this is the same snake I saw last week because it was in the same general area.

I also had an encounter with a tiny, tan spider. It crawled on my hand and I placed it beside me and talked with it a while. It seemed like it was listening to me. 🙂

And I saw a beaver! It was swimming across the middle of the pond. I saw it again on the same day, too, much closer but it immediately dove under the water. I have video of the beaver on my FP but did not post it to YouTube. I didn’t get a photo to share. It was too far away. There is a beaver video on my YouTube, though, that is pretty good.

I included pics of the snake. There is one where the snake is in my shadow and it reminds me very much of the Kundalini and how it flows. I felt it symbolic of my own transformation, though I am not experiencing Kundalini energy at this time.

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Animal Messages: Finch and Snake

Two weekends ago I went to my cabin and parked in my garage.  When I was getting out my boys started yelling and pointing to something. It was dead house finch laying in the middle of the driveway. They asked, “Did you kill it?” I don’t think I did. I didn’t see it when I pulled in, either. I picked it up and it was still warm. The boys buried it soon after.

Less than a week later I went to the family home, my ex’s home, to pick up some packages and take our dog on a walk (ex is in India on a business trip). I went inside and then came back out to put my packages in my car. On my way back in I saw another dead house finch. It was laying right on the stoop. I don’t know how I didn’t see it previously. This finch had been dead longer and there were a few fire ants on its beak. I picked it up and tossed it in the creek area.

So, two dead finches, less than a week apart. Both unseen initially. 

A dead or injured finch could symbolize:

  • Endings of specific life cycles
  • Need for personal transformation
  • Warning about potential obstacles
  • Invitation to release past limitations; Source: Finch Symbolism

When I consider the meaning of the dead finches, I take into account the environment at the time and what I was feeling. The first finch, found just outside the garage, could be indicating that I am no longer “parked” in life – that period in my life is over. At the time I felt really sad about the finch because I thought I had killed it, but I honestly don’t recall seeing it when I pulled into the garage. Also, I remember seeing a little bird alive above the garage the last time I was there. It was feasting on the bugs around the light. I had been thinking of how I wouldn’t be enjoying my country home as much anymore with the new apartment and all. I was still considering renting or selling.

The second finch I also missed initially (perhaps I am missing something still?). This one was near the front door. I wasn’t thinking of anything in particular this time, just taking the dog on a walk and feeling tired because I was getting over a cold. However, considering it was right on the front doorstep, perhaps it was a reminder of the end of my time in that particular space – maybe even in both spaces?

Snakes

All month I have been encountering snakes. I have lost count of how many I’ve run into, but just yesterday two snakes crossed my path and the second snake decided to bless me with its presence twice at two different times of the day!

Snakes symbolize transformation, intuition, rebirth and healing. They can also represent the Kundalini and its transformative energy.

I am hoping this means the Kundalini is still smoldering, lingering, just waiting to burst into flame once again. I don’t necessarily want a crazy K-Rising event but I don’t have control over such things. The K does what it does and there is no containing it once it decides to run its course. I am hoping, though, that I have cleared enough from previous risings that the intensity is much more tolerable. Regardless, I’ve enjoyed all my snake encounters of late. I find them fascinating and, at times, I even want to pick them up. I just don’t feel confident enough in my identification to risk it. Hahaha Even the non-venomous ones will bite.

Enjoy the pictures of my snake friends. All but the one pictured in water was seen near my pond. All of the snakes live in and around water. Perhaps water (emotion) is part of the message they bring?

plain bellied water snake
plan bellied water snake
common water snake
cotton mouth
cotton mouth

For those who would like to see the snakes in motion, check out my YouTube page and go to the Shorts section. I have lots of videos of the animals and creatures I encounter out at my cabin. Here is the video of the plain bellied water snake pictured above. Isn’t it beautiful!? This one I initially saw around noon and then again at around 4pm.

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Pandora Sphinx Moth

Yesterday, after another particularly rough day, I took a walk and cried as I walked. This is becoming my new norm. Walk, walk, cry sometimes, cry some more, walk. Often my thoughts are chaotic and this time was no different. 

One part of me was thinking of retreating not just away from people but into myself. This is my go-to when I feel overwhelmed. I don’t reach out, I don’t seek help or communicate with others. I’ve been judged, belittled and rejected too many times. All I want to do is return to my cabin in nature and never come out. The problem is that, without something to do, without some purpose or plan, retreat feels poisonous.  

The other part of me sees my situation as an opportunity to return to myself – the me who wants to help, who sees the good in others and is capable of pouring herself into meaningful work. 

The me who retreats is terrified of the unknown and taking that leap that could potentially lead me back to myself. The fear is debilitating and is keeping me stuck. IDK how to push past it.

When I returned home from my walk I noticed a large moth clinging to the brick facade. I immediately recognized it to be a sphinx moth. When I looked it up it turned out to be a Pandora Sphinx Moth. 

Pandora – 

The meaning of the Pandora myth is roughly this: human beings are endowed (Pandora = pan-dora = ‘all-gifted’) with a mind and soul that is like a treasure house of riches and fine jewels. However when we stray from the path of humility and holiness, and instead allow our thinking to be dominated by ruminations about the future or past, we unleash myriad woes in the form of intrusive thoughts and negative emotions. 

Pandora’s box released the world’s evils but also released the antidote to that evil: Hope.

Sphinx moth – 

Symbolizes transformation, profound change, and navigating the darkness with grace and wisdom. Its life cycle embodies personal growth and spiritual awakening, while its appearance can signify a time for letting go of old ways to embrace new knowledge. The moth’s nocturnal nature also connects it to the spiritual world, representing a yearning for truth, clarity, and purpose as it seeks light in the dark.

I held the moth for a time and then let it go in the backyard near the grapevine it most likely lived on as a caterpillar. When I checked later in the evening it had flown away. It’s visit not lost on me, I was immediately calmed and my upset lessened.

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Hummingbird

I spent several days out a my new abode – alone. The solitude was much needed. I’ve been experiencing sleep difficulties again and high blood pressure (yikes!). My BP is averaging 140/90+, the bottom number being the most volatile, sometimes going up to 107! My Dr. isn’t concerned because it comes down when I am calm, but I am not calm very often these days. Stress is the culprit, thus my retreat away from everyone and everything for a few days.

Ample sleep was gotten as was plenty of slow, stress-free time alone. I have a sleep number bed that tells me how well I sleep with a range from 1-100, 100 being the best sleep ever. My numbers are usually in the low 70s and high 60s. For three nights my numbers were in the 80s! Yay!

I took a ton of walks and did some breathing meditations. I’ve been exploring Buddhist practices, starting with short, mindfulness meditations. I haven’t gone past 5 minutes yet, but am working on it. I think my guidance approves because I got a message yesterday morning upon waking, “Purpose is in the moment.” It is indeed.

Hummingbird

Two days into my retreat I was in the kitchen cleaning up some dishes when I noticed a hummingbird flying around with something in her mouth. I had never seen a hummingbird do that so I paid closer attention. It wasn’t long before I saw her going back to the same place on a tree. A tiny crook at the end of a twig. I went outside to look closer and saw what looked like a bunch of moss stuck on the twig. The hummingbird buzzed my head as I thought, “She’s making a nest!”

As the day progressed, I checked on her progress periodically. By the end of the day she had a thimble sized nest and I took the opportunity during a passing thunderstorm to sit outside with my camera to take pictures and video (you can hear the thunder on the video). She was not very afraid of me so I was able to get pretty close, about 10ft away, which allowed me to zoom in really close.

Honestly, I was fascinated and appreciative that she would choose to share with me such a private part of her tiny life. Just writing about it makes me emotional for some reason. The pictures and video don’t come close to how beautiful she and her tiny nest are.

I plan to keep a watch over the nest in the coming weeks. I can’t wait to see tiny eggs and, hopefully, babies. I may even take a feeder out just so she has some nourishment close by during the hellishly hot summer days.

Below are some pictures of mama hummingbird. Here is a link to a video from my YouTube channel. Please forgive the shiftiness of the video. My camera is designed to prioritize photos, not video. I need to get a tripod and set it up on my back porch with my camera aimed at the nest. 🙂

While in the midst of taking videos of mama hummingbird I noticed a magnificent rainbow arching across the sky. It remained for nearly the entire time I was outside observing her. Such a blessing!

Hummingbird Totem

“Hummingbird as a spirit animal represents flexibility (our ability to accept and implement change), lightheartedness, and joy. Other associations shared by these Lightworkers include remaining present, freedom, awakening happiness and hope, a lightness of spirit, quick responses, reversing melancholy, tirelessness, and fortitude”. Source

It seems to me hummingbird is a further reminder to me that it is of utmost importance for me to continue taking time to myself, enjoying the solitude of my new home and all the blessings of nature and life. Mindfulness meditation and staying present in the moment go hand-in-hand with her message as well.

Thank you hummingbird, I hear you!

Some photos of my weekend. Hopefully they lift your spirit like they did mine. The colors of the sunset after the rain – breathtaking!

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Heal the Land and it Will Heal You

What a long weekend! This was the second weekend we’ve been at the new property working to clean, clear and prepare the land and home.

Friday and Saturday was junk removal. When they arrived they cleared the mobile home very quickly. It was almost an entire trailer load! They returned the next day and got another two loads from there. There is more, still, but progress is being made. Below is an image of just one of the loads of junk that was removed.

We met the neighbors (my husband had introduced himself when we first saw the land) and they offered to help. They are very nice. The wife is close to my age, the husband is 63 and already retired. They also have a pond and have really created a wonderful space. They have several cabins dotting the area with a pavilion, kitchen/bathroom area and stage for live bands. They use it once a year for a family reunion. I got a tour and it was impressive, exactly what my mom wants her property to be but sadly probably will never create. 

The husband is quite handy and built his own home. He owns a backhoe (or something close, I am not familiar with the name) and said he would be open to using it to help us. He and his wife even came over with their two riding lawnmowers and mowed a good portion of our land. The husband, Randy, mowed paths all over our property – to the pond, the the other buildings, along the fence and road. They also have a stocked pond and said our boys could fish and swim anytime. Since our pond is still not giving any fish (they are there but not biting I’m sure) I took the boys there and, after some coaxing since they are impatient, got them catching fish. Both are now super exciting about fishing and want to go back as soon as they can to fish some more. lol Both of my boys caught more fish than me and bigger ones even! There are bass, crappie, catfish and bluegill in abundance. They stock it and feed their fish often. They let us take some of the fish we caught to put into our pond. We are going to stock ours some point because we/they think our otters are eating up our fish.

The beehives are on the property now, too. We have eight and the beekeeper was very nice and navigated to our land without issue. I haven’t seen the hives yet because he asked us to not go around them that day because they tend to be grumpy after being moved. I will look at them next weekend and take pics. The beekeeper did say the hives will not be there to make honey. He uses them exclusively to help landowners get ag exemption. He said he may give us some of his other honey but he had a rough season last year and took losses. We are fine with whatever. He is a very nice and knowledgeable man. 

Anyway, the inside of the mobile home is completely cleaned out except for the stuff we opted to keep (construction supplies). It makes such a difference in the energy! My husband spent the entire first day fixing the water. First he fixed the intake from the pond. The previous owner told us the beavers have chewed off the floats in the past and so my husband swam out and, sure enough, no floats. The water was being sucked off the bottom of the pond which made it stink really bad. Once he fixed it the water was perfect! It was deceptive enough to cause us to almost accidentally drink it – oops! When the water was turned on to the home he discovered several leaks under that he fixed. I think there was 5 with one he has yet to fix because he thinks he might just need to do a full re-plumb of the whole home. He also got the hot water heater going. So we have running hot and cold water now that doesn’t smell like death! I am so, so thankful to my husband. The second bathroom is completely disconnected though. Also, while he was under the home he encountered a dead raccoon. It was freshly dead and huge! He and the boys buried it.

Friday night we stayed the night (with hot/cold, fresh water) and I, of course, was not tired. I was too excited about all the happenings of the day. When I did fall asleep I had an intense dream.

Dream: Mother Gaia

In the dream I was inside a bathroom with a heavy set woman. She asked for my help. She needed me to wipe her bum. She couldn’t reach it. I agreed, happy to help. When I wiped she winced. The poo had been there a while and she had “diaper rash”. I got her cleaned up and she was thankful. She then presented me with two DVDs or CDs saying they would help me. One was about Angels. I took it and told her thank you and hugged her. When I hugged her I could feel her voluptuousness wrap around me comfortingly. It felt like squishy blankets of love. I began to sob and sob, falling into her warm, squishy skin folds. The crying woke me and I continued to cry. 

My guidance was there and I understood why I was crying. I am still recovering from so much loss. However, I knew this mobile home experience – clearing and fixing it up – was a physical representation of my healing process. I was reminded of many, many dreams I’ve had in the past of being in mobile homes with unsteady foundations (like this one) and full of junk. All pointing to me feeling unsafe and needing to de-clutter emotionally and spiritually. When I woke I told my husband, saying I think the entire process of clearing the home and land is helping me clear my own “junk” and that repurposing the home will also be therapeutic in that it will guide me through my own rebuilding process. He agreed saying he felt similarly. 

The heavy set woman may have represented Gaia and her message was, “Heal the land and it will heal you.” Such love!

I was also told when I woke that “tomorrow” would be “magical”. I think it might be the day before the eclipse because I immediately thought of the Sunday before eclipse. How it will be magical, IDK. I did have a good day that morning, however, in that me and my boys had such a great fishing experience. Our neighbor, Sam (the wife), also seemed very interested in being around me. Her energy wasn’t needly or exhausting and we talked a while. When I told her about the land I almost started to cry and she understood because of her love for her land and her life. She says, “It’s heaven out here”. I told her I could tell before I even met her she was a very happy person. I heard her singing early in the morning as she gardened. When I was near her (she didn’t know I was there) I could sense she was genuine and good. 

I also sense my husband is falling in love with the land. His connection with the neighbor, Randy, also shows promise. He is all about connecting with people and he and Randy get along really well. I could sense that my husband might actually end up wanting to live out there some day. This caused me to cry a little thinking how the land might help him, too. He needs it,

So, overall a great weekend!

Here are some recent photos of the property. The snake is a plain bellied water snake. He was living under the boat alongside a field mouse. Ha! The big tree is an ancient Elm. Isn’t it magnificent?

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Nature Zoom

I’ve been busy. Life can be a PITA sometimes. So, rather than dive into the details, I will share some photos taken with my Iphone 12 Mini with a 15x zoom lens. I’ve had the lens only 24 hours and I’m really enjoying getting up close and personal with nature. Hopefully it lifts your spirits as much as it does mine.

I ran across a ton of “stink” bugs on a blooming cactus plant. Turns out they were mating. lol Sharing some of the tamer shots of those “stinkers”. 😉

It seems the theme, for me at least, is to take a closer look at life. There is so much beauty all around if you just take a moment to pause and L.O.O.K.

Here are photos of my beautiful children’s eyes for you to enjoy. Aren’t they just fascinating!!? The first pic is of my daughter’s eye, the second is my oldest son’s, and the last is my youngest son’s.

Did you know this common grass (known as “big bluestem”) has tiny, pink flowers on it? I didn’t until I zoomed in to take a look. It’s actually quite beautiful! The tiny yellow flower is called Neptunia (thanks Iphone for the look up feature). I’ve never seen one in yellow. Usually they are purple blooms.

The fire ants were eating the pulp of a yucca plant bloom.

Edit: Had to add this tiny bloom (below) to the rest because when I looked it up the name was hilarious. It is called Turkey Tangle Frogfruit, Sawtooth Frogfruit or Turkey Tangle. Now those are some funny names for such a teenie, tiny flower. 🙂

Funny plant name: Turkey Tangle Frogfruit LOL

So cheers! Here’s to finding beauty in the most surprising places. May you ever be in a state of wonder at the world around you.

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Impermanence

Spring is in full bloom here in Central Texas. Bluebonnets line the highways and backroads and people flock to take pictures of their loved ones amidst a sea of deep blue and white petals.

As a child growing up I remember this time of year fondly, especially the carpeted mosaics created out of Bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrushes. It takes my breath away every.single.year.

Yesterday I took my son exploring to show him some of the many variations of flowers we have in our neighborhood. We picked flowers, took photos and enjoyed exploring our own backyard. We discovered many familiar flowers like the Buttercup (which I think is really called Evening Primrose) and Prairie Verbena, but also many I had never seen before like the Scarlet Pimpernel and White Bindweed. There are still some I don’t know the names of but it doesn’t matter. Their beauty made an impact on us both.

Elekflower

Elek smelling a Buttercup. When I was a child we use to purposefully smell these to get pollen all over our noses. 🙂 

evening primrose

I have always called these “Buttercups”.

prairie verbena

Prairie Verbena

purple unknown

No idea what this one is but it is pretty!

scarlet pimpernel

Scarlet Pimpernel – I have never seen these before! Very delicate, beautifully colored flowers. My new fav! 

violet unknown

No idea what these are either. They grow in clusters close to the ground.

white bindweed

I believe this is White Bindweed. Looks like a Morning Glory to me, though.

No Bluebonnets in our neighborhood but you have likely seen pictures galore so no need to remind you of just how beautiful they are. They are the Texas state flower.

Impermanence

This morning I received a newsletter from the Emerging Science Foundation. I would like to share with you the message it contained. It goes splendidly with me and my son’s flower adventures yesterday:

We find ourselves in a powerful and transformative time of year – an interim period between two seasons. The spring equinox was a few weeks ago, but the ground of the northern hemisphere is still remembering the winter and just beginning to wake up to the promise of the warmer months.

This transitory phase is celebrated by spiritual traditions the world over, a living symbol of rebirth and the circle of life.

In honor of spring, I’d like to explore a concept that lives at the very heart of the seasons as well as the wisdom traditions of both shamanism and Buddhism.

Impermanence.

Sitting on the threshold of winter and summer, cold and warm, dark and light, it’s hard not to be in awe of the ever-changing nature of this reality we find ourselves in.

“Real flowers are much more beautiful than plastic ones, in part because of their impermanence. We appreciate the seasons, the autumn and the spring, because they are a process of change. In this way, impermanence is beauty.” – Chögyam Trungpa

The longer I live in this body named Nick, the more I realize just how closely the laws and cycles of our personal world match those of the outer world around us. Nothing in our lives will stay the same, and that fact can bring both comfort and challenge.

If you’re hosting a disagreeable guest in your house who is disrupting your daily routine, the notion of impermanence comes as a relief – “Thank God he or she is only going to be here for a few more days!”

But, remember those last few days of summer vacation growing up? You couldn’t quite squeeze them for all they were worth because of the looming back-to-school doldrums. “Please don’t let this end!!!”

“Somehow, in the process of trying to deny that things are always changing, we lose our sense of the sacredness of life. We tend to forget that we are part of the natural scheme of things.” – Pema Chodron

When we open ourselves to the possibility that the quest for permanence in a constantly changing world is futile, something shifts within us. We see our former end goal of “happily ever after” for what it truly is – a shimmering mirage on the horizon that is always just outside our grasp.

Once the cosmic jig is up, our lives become less about establishing and defending and more about allowing, flowing, and sensing. Like a tango dancer on a moonlit terrace in Buenos Aires, we learn to love the changes, keeping our minds clear so that we can react in the blink of an eye to any dip or surge in tempo.

Change is guaranteed.

Surrendering to this fact is an essential part of the path. By doing so, we arise from the ashes of who we once were, stronger of heart and able to hold space with compassion in any situation.

When we’re experiencing pain, the suffering can be heightened by the fear that the pain will never stop. When we’re experiencing pleasure, the pleasure can be thwarted by the sad truth that nothing lasts forever.

The wise know not to grab or shun either of these, but instead learn to nurture space between their spirit and anything the world outside brings to their doorstep. By not pulling toward or pushing away, we are able to give full presence to every change that happens in our life – the good, the bad, and the ugly 🙂

Here’s to the essence of spring and finding harmony in an ever-changing world.

Stay curious,
Nick Polizzi
Founder, The Sacred Science
by

Spiritual Retreat and OBEs

I recently went on a three day personal retreat to a nearby lake where I got some much needed me time. My package included a private room overlooking the lake, all meals, and two massage sessions.

My Garden Cottage.

My favorite part of the retreat was my morning yoga on the lake. It was so peaceful and relaxing.

My yoga spot on the lake.
Sunrise.
Me in Savasana.

The retreat property had trails that led to a place called Medicine Rock. It was blessed by a Native American Medicine Woman.

Path to Medicine Rock.
Sign to Medicine Rock.
Balance

I even did some fishing while I was there. Sadly, the rod and reel I borrowed from my FIL must have been old and the string brittle. I caught a good sized black bass after my third cast but as I pulled it up onto shore the line snapped and it flopped back into the water. Later, when I cast, part of the reel flew off into the lake. LOL No more fishing for me, I guess.

It was fun. I hadn’t caught a bass in a long time and had forgotten just how hard they strike. I think my heart was pounding for 10 minutes after. The fish were so active I could see them chasing my lure to the shore sometimes. So, really bummed that I had to quit so soon. Super fun, though! Gotta do that again soon.

View from my yoga spot.
Calm and clear.
Me by the lake at my fishing spot.
Sunset.
From the Thunder Ridge.

On the day I departed (same day as the fish that got away incident), I was blessed by a butterfly encounter. Twice. One before I went fishing and again while I was fishing. I took some photos and a video of one in particular. It was a large Tiger Swallowtail, about the size of my hand. He was nice enough to let me take several photos and a video. At the end of the video he actually flew into my phone camera and in my face. I could feel the wind from his beating wings. So beautiful!

swallowtail

Tiger Swallowtail on Texas Mountain Laurel blooms.

IMG_1903

OBEs

I had an OBE the morning I departed for my retreat. It was short and I only recall leaving my body and then being pulled back in quickly after. Then this morning I had a string of OBEs one after the other. There were so many I forgot most of them.

The first one began as a lucid dream. I remember walking into a store and seeing cars lined up outside, one was a VW van. I went inside and stood in line and soon realized I was butt naked. I got into the elevator to go to another floor to find clothing. I went to the 6th floor and inside I tripped an alarm and so got back into the elevator and selected the 5th floor but there were only two floors to choose from – 5 & 6. Eventually I looked up and saw a meeting taking place behind a pane of glass. I recognized the people inside and could hear them talking. There were adults and children and the light was bright and warm. They encouraged me to come to the meeting and told me how, instructing me to “leave it (my body)” and “come through”. So I went OOB and crossed into and through the pane of glass. On the other side it was dark, not light, and no one was around. I called for them but no one answered. It was like I went into a lower vibratory field and not the one I had seen. I felt an energy reach for me as I pulled back into my body. The vibrations were high and I immediately went back OOB.

The most memorable were the last OBEs when I decided to stop trying to control them and allowed myself to follow where they led. I saw a picture and went into it and found myself flying above a beautiful city on islands of land with trees that connected the islands with their branches. Water was beneath the cities but far below and I soon realized the islands were floating hundreds of feet above the water. I remember recognizing the place, knowing it’s name (can’t remember now) and thinking, “I’m home!” I began to sing loudly a song from The Sound of Music – “Doe a deer a female deer….”.  I flew all over as I sang but kept singing one line wrong – the Fa line. I would sing, “Mi a name I call myself, Sol a long long way to run…” lol I knew I was singing it wrong while OOB but didn’t care.

I came back to my body briefly and then went outside a “window” to a red cable that linked trees and began to balance on the cable as I sang. This time I was singing a song about my life and how grand it was, how important it was to be patient and accept the concept of time while in this body and the importance of being joyful. The words were coming from a space deep inside me and flowing out of my mouth without me having to think of them first. Every word brought me pure joy. I was filled with acceptance and a warmth that is indescribable. I could feel just how tiny my human aspect is compared to the Whole that I AM.

I flew/balanced along the cable as I sang and noticed how the trees were a living network comparable to our telephone lines, linking the cities. Their branches stretched out and twisted far across the water. Soon I was walking along them as if they were roads to other worlds. At one point I flew up high over the island city below but never made it down to explore it. It was as if it were off-limits. I was pulled back to my body by my husband saying, “I made you a Greek omelet for breakfast.” LOL