Tag Archives: symbolism

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Back from Montana and Surprise OBE

Happy New Year!

We returned from Montana last night. I didn’t get much sleep because there were as many fireworks as the 4th of July. Never heard so much noise on New Year’s Even before. I hate to burst everyone’s bubble of hope, but I highly doubt 2021 will be much better than 2020 no matter how much you celebrate it’s passing. The world has a tough decade ahead and this is not just me being a pessimist.

To give you an idea of what I feel is coming up this year (at least for me), I was met by a gruesome sight on my morning walk. Right before I saw the below image, I had been wondering what 2021 would bring:

A dead rabbit. 😦 This is symbolic of loss, usually the loss of a relationship, friendship or family connection.

Not far from the rabbit was a flathead screwdriver.

My guess is there is quite a bit of work to be done this year.

Montana Trip

But this post isn’t about what is to come, it’s about my trip and how I ended the year.

My children did excellent for their first time traveling by plane. Everything went smoothly with some added bonuses. We got a rental upgrade and a room upgrade when we arrived in Bozeman, the weather was perfect, the roads were clear and the air not too cold. We spent the first day on the slopes of Bridger Bowl Ski Area and the last day near the same ski area at a place called Crosscut Mountain Sports Center where we tried cross country skiing. All three skiing adventures were firsts for my kids. My husband had never tried cross country skiing and I had not done either type of skiing for at least 20 years.

I spent the first two days with my youngest and did not really doing any downhill skiing, which didn’t bother me because, though I can do it, I never really found it fun. I don’t enjoy going fast and do not like heights. When I was young I had plenty of experiences with downhill skiing but put it on my “been there, done it, got the t-shirt” list. I prefer cross country skiing to the downhill version so much that I actually owned my own skis, boots and poles when I lived in Bozeman. 🙂

We didn’t get to do much more than that except on the last day when we visited the Museum of the Rockies on the MSU campus. We ended our day activities before 5pm when the sun set.

I had no past issues come up during this visit. Bozeman has changed dramatically in the last 20 years! When I lived there every native Montanan complained about the number of Californians moving in, buying up land and pushing up the cost of nearly everything. I remember someone once saying their (the Californian’s) goal in Bozeman was to make it “the next Aspen” – a vacation destination during both summer and winter months. Looks like they met their goal. The small town is now full of every modern convenience and there was little left of the sleepy little college mountain town I once loved. Bozeman no longer resembles “genuine” Montana living. Instead, it feels very much like Austin does – dotted with “McMansions”, homes built to look “modern” and expensive, sidewalks and trails made for suburban living, and expensive designer shops everywhere.

Very few people I encountered in Bozeman were locals. They didn’t have the typical Montana accent. Most were from out-of-state, college students lured by the outdoors, the mountain skiing, and proximity to Yellowstone National Park. In fact, on the ski slopes we were told that there were a lot of Texans skiing on the days we were there. Ha! I met a family from Georgia and Louisiana, too. There were more “ya’lls” being spoken than “you guys” that is for sure. More “Coke” drinkers than “Pop” drinkers. Sigh.

We stayed at a hotel that was located in what was once a huge field adjacent to the Costco. The entire field was full of hotels, shops and restaurants. It really did look freakily like Austin! They even had an Outback Steakhouse, a Target, a Ross, and other shops similar to the ones I frequent near my home. My first reaction was, “WTF! What happened to the field!?” lol When I left in 2000 there was Wal-Mart (across town) and Costco and that is about it.

All in all, the trip was a good one but not a healing one. Old memories didn’t resurface. There was one exception, though. On one of our many drives through the city, I saw the Bozeman Inn and said to my husband as I turned and pointed, “Wal-Mart is over there”. Sure enough, past the next light there it was, just as I remembered. I must have driven that route a hundred times. So I guess some of Bozeman is still the same as it was 20 years ago. 🙂

Surprise OBE December 29th

On the second night of our stay I had a surprise OBE. I made sure to write it down to record when I returned, so here it is.

I remember talking to someone who told me that he would love to meet me for lunch when I was in New York. I remember thinking it odd. “I’m not in New York and won’t be….”I thought. When I realized I was dreaming, I decided to exit my body even though I felt for sure I was wide awake.

Sure enough I easily left my body. I went toward the door and ended up outside my mom’s house standing next to a large pick-up truck. I knew that if I opened the door my guide would be inside. Excited, I went toward the door but was pulled upward at lightning fast speeds, up, up into space. I felt strongly from within, “No….” Ugh! I couldn’t do anything except allow and when I did I ended up standing in front of a door.

I opened the door. When I went inside I saw an Indian woman and her two sons. When they saw me they totally freaked out and began to run away from me, muttering something about ghosts. I called to them, telling them it was okay and showing them I was as real as them. They seemed to know me and I felt that I must be a grandmother to the boy. I went up to him and kissed him and ruffled his hair, speaking to him the whole time. Some part of me intimately knew this family.

I remember as I spoke that my voice was masculine and I questioned this but then decided to let it go. I knew if I tried to analyze it I would end my OBE and I wanted to stay. I thought, “Who cares if I sound like a man?” lol

The family relaxed and then showed me how the home had changed. I was taken to the back where they were putting in a huge swimming pool. I explored it and discovered there were two pools. The first was cold and deep. The second was shallow and warm with little kiddie pools and a tube slide. I got into the second pool with the two kids and ended up lost in a dream within a dream. I believe I was talking about a past life and ended up reliving it.

When I came back to my body it was by choice. I remember thinking, “I’m ready to go back now.”

Pictures

I will leave you with a few pics of our trip. Most are pics of the mountains but there is also a pic of a T-Rex at the Museum of the Rockies, the MSU Campus sign and the image of the mountains through the windows of the airport. No pics of me and my family, though. Keeping those to myself.

Enjoy!

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Dream: Erupting Volcano and Lightning Tower

As the “great conjunction” approaches my need for sleep has increased but my ability to fall asleep has decreased. I suspect all the holiday activities are to blame. My company held its annual Christmas party yesterday and so I spent several hours around a large group. While there I could sense them all – their gratitude, their struggles, their worries, their hope – and felt a comradery I’ve not felt before. Most of our employees I know only in name and feelings their individual energies was revealing in more than one way. But the more people I am around, the more wired I tend to be afterward. Sometimes it can take hours for me wind down.

Despite my lack of sleep I am having higher instances of Kundalini activity and my dream recall is also increasing.

I can’t help but wonder if the great conjunction of Saturn and Jupiter is contributing to all this new activity. Years ago, after several OBEs, I woke with memory of the movie The Dark Crystal. Here is the post if you want to read about it.

The theme song of the movie was in my head along with memories of the prophecy the entire movie was based upon. I loved the movie as a child so the memories immediately took me back to that time in my life. Surprising, I recalled the prophecy word-for-word:

When single shines the triple sun,
What was sundered and undone
Shall be whole, the two made one,
By Gelfling hand, or else by none.

When I heard about the up and coming “great conjunction” I recalled the part of the movie where Aughra said, “The great conjunction is at hand!” In another part of the movies she describes what the conjunction means:

“The Great Conjunction is the end of the world…or the beginning. End, begin. All the same! Big change! Sometimes good, sometimes bad!“

I had the below dream two nights ago. You will see how this dream relates to the above conjunction message if you focus on the symbolism of the dream.

Dream: Erupting Volcano and Lightning Tower

I was in a field behind my Mom’s house with my MIL (aspect of self, the old crone, wisdom). She was asking me to follow her. I had with me a bowl of food (spiritual sustenance) and my phone (communication). I saw that sky was overcast. Huge, dark clouds were rolling in but the sun’s rays were breaking through in areas. It was beautiful so I took out my phone to take photos but the food I carried was making it difficult. I couldn’t take a picture with just one hand and stood there fumbling a while before I put down the food bowl.

My MIL was waving for me to follow so I left the beautiful sky and ran after her. She was way ahead and I had to catch up.

The terrain changed. Trees disappeared and a rugged, dessert-like landscape took its place. I found myself standing near boulders (obstacles) at the base of a steep mountain (difficult path). Above and in the distance I saw a wide, solid red column of fire in the sky. In awe, I stood looking at it, again fumbling with my phone to take a picture. I remember exclaiming, “It’s a volcano (Kundalini)!” What is odd is that the eruption was not in spurts, shooting upward. Instead the column of fire seemed to flow like a river into the sky without any interruption in flow.

I went closer to inspect the odd volcano only to discover a tower rising high into the sky. It was like the tower connected to the sky and if you climbed it you could reach God. As I looked up at the tower I could see bolts of lightning striking it (the Tower card in traditional tarot). The entire tower would light up. I saw then it was made of metal in a grid fashion like a phone tower. The metal conducted the energy and the entire tower glowed bluish-white.

I remember climbing still further. Eventually we reached our destination which resembled an abandoned resort (transition is over) in a tropical area. I could see above me the empty rooms.  Rain (strong emotion) was falling in sheets but it didn’t get me wet. I walked toward the edge of the resort. There was a road that ended in a vast ocean. I could see a small fawn (true friends, faithfulness) struggling in the water. I wanted to save it and began to reach for it, telling my MIL, “Look! It’s a baby deer!” I could see it clearly as it approached the shore but then it morphed into a baby (new beginnings) when it reached the shore. I think I held it but can’t remember. 

Interpretation

This dream feels like both a warning and a Kundalini dream. The volcano is unlike what I’ve seen in other dreams. While volcanic eruptions are common Kundalini symbols in my dreams, the volcanoes tend to send fire into the sky in spurts. Sometimes there is lightning accompanying the eruption. I have described some of my experiences with the K energy as “lightning bolts of energy”, so that is likely what the lightning symbolizes in this dream as well. I find it interesting that in this dream the volcanic eruption is sustained, flowing continuously from root (Earth) to crown (Heaven).

Image from the Osho Zen Tarot deck

The tower is symbolic of the Tower card in tarot. When this card comes up it is a warning of major changes, usually unexpected. The change destroys the old to make way for the new. It typically shakes up the world of the person and there is no avoiding it. This is where the quote from Aughra comes in. The Tower card represents big change – sometimes good, sometimes bad but always destruction of the old to make way for the new.

The abandoned resort indicates a period of transition is over. The road, or my path, ends in an ocean of emotion and there is even more emotion with the rain, but I never get wet, meaning the emotion doesn’t overwhelm me. I try to rescue the fawn from drowning, meaning I want to avoid losing what the fawn represents – true friendship and/or faithfulness in a relationship. When it morphs into a baby it indicates new beginnings.

To add to the above dream and symbolism, I woke with the song Paradise by Coldplay in my head. The specific part I heard was:

And so lying underneath those stormy skies
She’d say, “Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, I know the sun must set to rise.”

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OBE: Black Humvee

I woke at 4am and couldn’t return to sleep. Thoughts were on a recent repetitive message – “2 years” – and a dream where I stated that the end of the world would come on Sept 28, 2025. I was feeling depressed about my life, the lack of meaningful forward movement and had a feeling that time is running out.

OBE: Black Humvee 

Somehow I entered into an OBE. I knew instantly I was OOB. I was inside my grandparent’s underground (subconscious) home in the kitchen (seeking spiritual nourishment), a place I often find myself when OOB. I was facing the front door and decided to go outside. There was interaction taking place with someone but I don’t know who. It was like I was two people – the dreamer and the conscious explorer. 

As I approached the door I thought about how to become more lucid and so I was. When I went outside I tested my dream legs to see if I could fly. There was a strong pull down like gravity and I accepted this as the rules for the experience. 

Just outside the fence was parked a large, black (unknown, hidden) Humvee (hard work). I climbed inside via the passenger side and crawled to the driver’s seat. I knew it was owned by a man who was very strong and intimidating. My intent was to drive it so that this man knew. I was feeling mischievous. I turned the key to the ignition and it roared to life. Looking through the front windshield I saw how high up I was. I thought about driving over everything in front of me but changed my mind. The truck was way to big and I didn’t want to wreck it. I climbed out and went to explore.

Looking to the right of the house everything looked as it did in my memory except there were many young people milling about. Some were hovering in the air. This is when I realized I, too, was hovering and flying about. 

I observed the people. Some were in larger groups and others in pairs – couples. 

I flew past the people toward where the barn should be but instead found a construction site (work in progress). The fences had been remade into wood and were taller. Where the barn was stood a large house. I remember thinking how it would be nice to live there and wondering if I could buy the acre and home from my mother. 

Then my mother was there and she took me into the home. She asked me how I liked the church (spiritual healing, connection) they were building. I was surprised it was a church and knew then I couldn’t buy it as it was meant for many people, not just me and my family. 

Inside the church was made completely of wood that shown that yellowish color of new pine. It also smelled of pine (longevity, recovery). There were stairs and ramps heading up to a platform and behind that another area that my mother told me was where people would be baptized. The ceiling was very tall and the space quite big. I recall feeling peaceful.

Lucid Dream: Erika and Darius 

I came back to my body briefly and then returned but not to the church. Instead I was inside a garage (something is “parked”, lack of movement). My husband and MIL were near and I found a fabric grocery bag full of things on a shelf. It had opened, stale potato chips (loss of health, neglect of physical state) inside and I knew it was my MIL’s. Rather than toss the contents I took it to my husband and told him it was his mother’s and that I didn’t want to throw anything away because of how upset it would make her. The bag smelled of rotting food (decline), though.

My husband was tending to his mom and she was acting frantic and worried, which is normal for her. He was asking me if I would go with them somewhere, me driving a truck and him driving a car. I told him I wouldn’t – couldn’t – and he knew it. He didn’t argue with me, instead saying he would take the Prius (MIL’s car – soul journey) because his mother always kept it full of gas. There was discussion about how the car was having lots of issues and they were becoming more and more severe. The car would not last much longer. I was glad the car would be gone soon as it had been a major headache for me.

My husband handed his mom the grocery bag and she sifted through the contents, pulling out baby food (new nourishment) and exclaiming as if she was opening a present. She was super happy to have the baby food, pulling each container out and showing it to her son. That is when I saw the baby girl and knew the baby food was for this baby. I called the baby “Erika” and I recognized her. I had many feelings at this time. Mostly I felt upset that this baby was coming into the world to be the daughter of my SIL and BIL. I felt a connection to the girl. I didn’t like that I had worked so hard to make her the person she was only to have her come into a new life and forget me and everything we had accomplished together. I also didn’t like that she wouldn’t know me and would instead cling to her new family. 

Similarly, I saw how my MIL was being helped by this baby. She would have renewed purpose, which her life has been lacking for some time. My husband, too, would have purpose but in helping his mother who would struggle more and more with old age (the Prius represents MIL). 

Something about the scene took me back to my grandparent’s land (ancestry) and the young people gathered in groups and pairs. I floated there and watched them and a name came to mind – Darius. I went directly to him, then, shifting immediately into a new scene where I hovered in front of a 10 month old baby. He was chubby, black and super cute. When I saw him I was sad again. I knew him. He was family. There was Knowing that many were incarnating now and it upset me to think of so many loved ones purposefully coming to Earth now, at a very difficult time. There was a part of me that understood and accepted this and my connection to these new Beings but at the same time I was outraged at the injustice of it. It wasn’t fair that they would go through so much pain and hardship. I remember thinking of what was to come and shuddered.

I began to cry and purposefully pulled myself out of the dream scene and back to my body. The transition was smooth and without the typical bumpiness. 

Considerations

It feels like this lucid/OBE experience was meant to show me some things about myself and why I am responding to life the way I am now. There was a strong sense of being two people – the dreamer, or unconscious, version and the conscious version. I was able to see that the memory and Knowing I have as the conscious version is being interpreted and processed by the less conscious version. Thus, my responses in the dream were a mixture of calm, acceptance and outrage.

The Humvee is an interesting dream symbol. Trucks = work, so a Humvee would have a similar meaning but more in terms of the Collective and “war” since Humvees are traditionally used by the military. Black indicates the hidden or unknown, the subconscious or unconscious. So something about this work is unknown and maybe even a bit scary to me. There is a masculine feel to the Humvee as well, which I see as symbolic of what drives this “war” – the masculine and all it represents.

This is the second time now that I have associated my mother with a church. Perhaps I am reminding myself that the feminine should be honored at this time. I retreat to the feeling that comes with being inside the church. It brings me peace. And even though the church is “under construction” it already serves a purpose, indicating that once complete it will have much more of an impact on everyone.

Other Thoughts

Lately my mind has been on the future quite a bit. I can’t seem to shake the premonitions I had so many years ago when I first awakened and was flooded with visions and Knowing. One such vivid vision was of the White House on fire – bombed. I still see it so vividly. Also very vivid in my mind is seeing Fort Hood, Texas as a rubble field, also bombed.

I know that the future is not set in stone and for a long while I pushed aside my early visions as just a “potential” future, denying they could ever happen in my lifetime. Now I am not so sure. I keep having flashes of “what if’s”, which are not necessarily premonitions, but instead a mixture of what could be and my own fears or dread of them happening.

For example, I feel (and fear) that no matter who becomes President, the US economy is headed for a complete collapse. If this happens so many possibilities exist. The divide between the haves and have not’s is already widening. If it continues Civil War could result. Yet I have had previous visions also of the US being attacked by an outside force. What that force is – another country, a terrorist group, or just forces of Darkness in general, is unknown.

Despite all these worries, at my core I am exceptionally calm about it all. I have always been told by my guidance that I will be safe and need not worry about myself and my family. There is also a deep understanding I cannot put words to that indicate every.single.thing that is and will happen has a higher purpose.

About a month ago I actually wrote a post that I never posted about how everyone on Earth right now is being polarized. I opted not to post it because I know that it likely won’t make a difference in how people are reacting to what is transpiring in this world right now. And that is OK. The only person I have any control over is myself and I choose to NOT react, but to observe.

How do you not react to everything? React doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings or thoughts. Let yourself feel. Let yourself have an opinion. It is OK. You are only human. I have an internal dialogue that I let play out when I get overwhelmed and upset over things. I just don’t verbalize it or share it with anyone because it won’t help matters. In fact, it will serve only to further polarize things. In the end, the dialogue always shifts away from the upset and back to my Knowing and acceptance of what is.

Hopefully, my honesty about my previous premonitions and fears doesn’t trigger anyone. If it does, I am sorry as that was/is not my intent. I hope my sharing assists in a better understanding of how I perceive this unique time in human history and that is all.

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Dream: Subaru U2

I continue to be thankful for the quality, restful sleep I’ve been getting. I do hope it lasts! My dreams are odd, but I don’t mind. 🙂

Dream: Fixed Fish Aquarium

This dream is from two nights ago. It stuck with me for some reason so I am finally writing it down.

Most of the dream is about a large, 50+ gallon (Higher Self), rectangular fish aquarium (my emotions related to my physical reality experience). I recall checking water levels, inspecting the health of the fish inside, and arranging the plants and rocks inside (maintaining my physical reality, keeping it healthy). There was a circulation (emotional) issue I resolved as well. I happily bragged to a person who was with me about setting up the pump and bubblers so that the water traveled in a counter clockwise (improvement) direction. I showed the person from above the water line where we could see the water moving smoothing around the perimeter of the tank.

Then I saw a smaller tank, about 1 gallon in size (smaller self), sitting just to the left of the larger one. It had many smaller fish inside – guppies (cowardice) mostly – and I opted to transfer those fish into the larger tank where they would do much better. I remember there being an algae eater fish (cleaning, healing) in the small tank and knowing it was needed in the bigger one. There were also many tiny, newborn baby fish (potential) which pleased me.

The entire dream scene shifted and I was standing outside on a sidewalk on a university campus (life lessons) looking at the various halls. We seemed to be standing in an area where the sidewalks met and formed a kind of circular courtyard with benches and tall trees. A woman was with me. She pointed out a large waterfall (dramatic change in life perception) pouring down the side of the dorm (personal and private self) hall. I thought it odd that a waterfall would be cascading down the side of my dorm room but it was quite beautiful regardless. Her explanation was it was part of the renovation (healing, adjustment).

Dream: Subaru U2

The dream began as a trip to show a group of friends the land my father had told me he was going to give to me. I mostly recall one young man who was with me. He was romantically interested in me and we had been emailing and communicating back and forth for some time. We had decided to date with the hopes of it becoming more serious. He had with him two male friends. I’m not sure why I was taking them to my land but I was eager to show it to them.

When we got to the property I took them to a large garage where my father stored all his old cars. The cars were well cared for but most were quite old, some models from the 80’s and 90’s and some even older than that. My focus was on a particular car that my father was storing for me until I was ready to drive it. It was a black sports car parked in the back corner of the garage. I picked up a large key chain full of keys, found the key to the car, opened it and let them explore inside it.

The car was interesting in that it had a removable hard top that was sloped. The paint was original so it was not perfect, graying in some areas, but it was still in good condition. The men looked inside and were impressed, even asking to take it for a drive. I didn’t allow this but I’m not sure why. I remember saying the car was waiting until I was ready to drive it, implying it was not for them.

At one point I was trying to determine the make, model and year of the car. I said aloud, “I can’t remember what kind it is…” Then I looked closely at the emblem and though I can’t remember what it looked like I said, “It’s a Subaru….a Subaru U2.” For some reason I thought the make and model was rare and very expensive. The year shifted as I recalled the date. I saw 2011 and also 2016 but the numbers blurred together so it is hard to know for certain.

The men then looked at some other cars parked nearby. One was similar to the Subaru but not as well maintained. I remember insisting they not mess with the other cars and said it was time to leave.

As we exited the garage and walked through a garden full of workers tending to it, the sun was just rising in the sky. The young man who was interested in me walked ahead acting a bit strange. He later stopped writing and communicating with me and I remember thinking, “He must not like the real me.” I was disappointed and sad about this. My thought was, “People like me until they get to know me.” Memories came to me, all of times when my blunt, opinionated and bossy side came out and friends and boyfriends left because they interpreted these characteristics as negative or selfish. In that moment I hated the personality I selected for this lifetime and saw it as a means to separate me further from others.

Music Message

I woke from this dream hearing words from a familiar song – “Why’d you have to be so rude? Don’t you know I’m human, too? Why’d you have to be so rude? I’m gonna marry her anyway…”

Memories of all the relationships I’ve had – friends and boyfriends – in this lifetime came to me. They all had in common one thing – they start out great with good connection but over time seem to wear and fray at the edges. I see myself as the cause of this. Many of my past friends and boyfriends have told me straight up that they can’t handle my intense side, and that is the nice way of putting it. When I get upset, emotional, tired, or am just not in a good place (depressed or unhappy) I tend to be more prone to blowing up and saying exactly what I am thinking without filtering it. So, in other words, I stick my foot in my mouth. This is difficult for most to handle. Most retreat or go silent. Some come back at me with just as much intensity. Regardless of how they handle it, most eventually get tired of my often unpredictable and emotional blow ups and disappear from my life.

I am better at controlling my outbursts now but even so I struggle to articulate my feelings or upset in a way that won’t hurt the other person. Sometimes I vow to just not speak but when I don’t speak up for a long period of time the outbursts seem to take on a life of their own and I do more damage. It doesn’t help that I perceive the other person’s feelings and if they are judgmental or critical of me I get angry and frustrated, feeling they aren’t really listening to me. 😦

Thankfully, not everyone disappears from my life. Those that stay can fight my fire with their fire (so they are usually fire or air signs) and when it all blows over we can move on holding no grudges and often feeling relieved to have expressed our feelings. Honestly, I prefer those who are like this. Those who remain quiet or act submissive lose my respect in the end, as I am sure I lose theirs. And honestly, I don’t blame them because I am real good at steamrolling over those types.

I interpret the song message I woke with to be about how the men I end up marrying are able to accept and even overlook this side of me and have what it takes to be with me long-term. The same goes with my friends. It just so happens my best and most long-lasting relationships (including those with family) are all fire and air (or a mixture) signs. Ha! My younger sister, who is an Aries with Cancer moon, cut me off, however, but I can’t say I blame her or that even miss her moody, grudge-holding, poor-me behavior (yes, that is my blunt side coming out, so be it!). If she comes back into my life and attempts to mend our relationship I will take her back, arms wide open, even though she will likely not respond the same.

Subaru Message

Then there is the Subaru message in the dream. I had to look it up because it stood out so vividly.

The name Subaru is Japanese, meaning ‘unite’. It’s also a term for a cluster of [seven] stars in the Taurus constellation, named ‘Pleiades’ by the ancient Greeks. According to Greek mythology, these stars were once Atlas’ daughters. The [seven]-star cluster featured in the Subaru badge design is known in Japan as mutsuraboshi, meaning ‘[seven] stars’.

Subaru was the first automobile brand to use a Japanese word as its name. Source

The message via the car make and model in my dream was, “Subaru U2”. I take this to mean that I am part of this cluster of stars. I am a Starseed from the Pleiades. Based upon my memories, OBEs, and spiritual experiences, I am originally from Lyra, which is located in the Pleiades.

The sports car symbol is one I have seen in previous dreams. Cars symbolize one’s life path, the characteristics of the car symbolizing the characteristics of the path. A sports car, which is made for speed, symbolizes a path that one is on that goes quite fast from one point to another. A black car is not negative but actually represents the unknown, or something unseen and can also symbolize the intuition or Higher Self. In this particular dream the car is being kept for me in a garage. Garages indicate a “parked” path, so progress is stopped or temporarily delayed. The other cars in the garage are likely other paths I’ve taken at various points in time. Thankfully, I hold all the keys to these many paths. 🙂

The dream suggests that the path that is connected to the Pleiades is on hold for now, parked in a garage and maintained until I decide to once again take it for a spin. In the dream I show it – and mySelf – to others and am rejected because of it. This saddens me and causes me to judge myself harshly, blaming my human expression of my Pleiadian self as the source of much upset in my life. Yet when I think back on when I am rejected in the dream I am not concerned but instead proud of who I am. I recognize that sometimes others just don’t understand and that is OK.

 

 

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Theme: Cockleburs

I continue to have difficulty falling asleep and getting a good sleep overall. This has been on-going since before Covid-19 hit mid-March. Some days I will get sleep that is good and solid, but mostly not.

Last night I felt a distinct shift in the energy. When for weeks I have had little to no communication from my guidance, last night I did. It came in the form of energy hugs and messages without words and I knew I would get a good sleep.

Dreams

I had many dreams and woke once in tears.

The first dream I recall was set outside on a rocky slope. I was with my daughter and we were walking along a dirt path to a bus stop (temporary setback in life). I was wearing sandals (life path) and felt like I use to as a child – hopeful and looking forward. Recognizing I may need better shoes, I went back to get my tennis shoes and then carried them a bit before placing them on the side of the path. As we walked we talked and I was in high spirits. As the time for the bus to arrive grew near I remembered I needed my tennis shoes and realized I would not be able to get them in time. So, we walked a ways to the bus stop, down the hill and a bit further, past where the bus normally stopped. When we got to a certain point it was like we triggered a switch and a small hill covered in shrubs to our right burst into flame (passion, intensity). There was a distinct pause here as I recognized the “switch” being triggered (perhaps a fire will be triggered). Each plant became a burning bush. One began to char. I was unconcerned and let them burn.

In another dream I was in a stadium full of people looking for a place to sit. I soon realized no one had on shoes and for some reason I was very put off by the bare feet (others’ path, following another path) all around me. I shifted and tried to avoid contact with people and even asked some to move over. Someone asked me why I was so bothered by bare feet. I mentioned they were gross, smelly and just dirty. As I talked about my upset I began to cry and burst into tears over the prospect of so many bare feet.

Then I was in another time period and place. It was like a scene from a wild west movie. I was with a young boy (masculine aspect) who desperately needed new clothes (ones outward appearance). At this time there was something about arranging four cocklebur plants (annoyances) in an area and planting them. This caused me to become emotional but did not wake me. Eventually I helped the young man, taking him to a shop to get fitted for new clothing which consisted of knickers, a shirt and a leather satchel. I remember thinking it was quite expensive and hoping he did not want me to buy him a whole wardrobe.

The scene shifted and I was in a strange house sitting on the floor beneath a dresser or cabinet. It felt like something was crawling on me so I looked up and saw the biggest millipede (unwilling to confront something) I had ever seen. I withdrew in fear until I realized it was dead and mummified. I then noticed the front door to my house was open and went in to investigate. I yelled to the intruder to get out but then realized the house was being cleaned (healing). I was asked to help pull a sock (major life disappointments) out of a vacuum and the lady took it to clean.

Messages

When I woke a song was in my head:

The song quickly turned into another song and with it came a memory of the movie it went with – Into the Wild. I thought of the story line and what happened in the end, how the poor man must have felt as he lay dying all alone. I didn’t know why memory of this movie came to me but now see it fits in with a bigger message.

Then I saw this memory on my FB feed. Something I posted in 2013:

First I was dying to finish high school and start college.
And then I was dying to finish college and start working.
And then I was dying to marry and have children.
And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough
so I could get back to my career.
And then I was dying to retire.
And now I am dying…
and suddenly realize that I forgot to live.”
– Author unknown

See the message now?

Cockleburs

It may seem odd, but cockleburs have been a message for a while now. I had a dream a while ago, maybe a week or more now – you can read the post here. Almost daily since posting that dream I have seen memes and other references to cockleburs online. If you don’t know what a cocklebur is, it is a very annoying, large sticker that gets easily embedded in things. They are almost impossible to get out.

In one of the above dreams, seeing the cocklebur plants causes me to burst into tears. The feeling I had when I woke from this dream was of hopelessness and overwhelm. The message this symbol brings is that I am dealing with issues that are annoying and they are not easily resolved. Nothing I do seems to make them go away so I tend to just live with the issues/annoyances. The fact that this symbol continues to reappear indicates just how upset I am by these issues in my life.

In this time frame I have been having quite a bit of stress related to life foundations and my stability. This has mostly passed but the physical side-effects have been eczema, which I tend to get when I have high stress. Similarly, loss of sleep tends to accompany stressful periods in my life.

I will leave you with a flash of a vision I had of myself just now: I saw myself walking on a path wearing tan colored clothing that was full of cockleburs. Ha!

 

 

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Message: Quality Over Quantity

For over a week I have had trouble sleeping. Mostly I struggle to fall asleep but I also tend to wake frequently which decreases the quality of sleep by quite a bit. As a result, I am not recalling my dreams and those dreams I do recall are odd and don’t make much sense. There are a few, however, that seem to be indicators of what is going on under the surface, deep in my subconscious.

Dream – May 16th

I was sitting inside a truck (hard work) as if waiting to leave when a guy showed up and stood by the truck. He insisted that I get into a car instead. I felt irritated by the man’s pushy behavior but did what he asked. Before I could get into the car (life path) it began to drive on its own (feeling not in control of life). It sped up and crushed the man underneath, ripping his skin off in places. The man was yelling in pain as the car rolled forward and backward over top of him. When the car stopped, the man was pinned underneath yelling in pain. Suddenly, a random dog (protection, fidelity) came around and began to pull aggressively on his toes, ripping into his flesh. I yelled at the dog to stop but it wouldn’t. The sight of the whole thing was gruesome – the car sitting on top of the man, ripped flesh with blood oozing out and a dog trying to eat the man’s foot all while he was still alive and suffering.

The dream was very short and horrific enough to wake me up. I suspect it symbolically represents my feelings and fears in regards to how I react to being pressured to do things. It also seems to refer to the masculine as something I resent and want to destroy.

Dream: May 20th

I had odd dreams and some I recall. In one I was visiting a house in Montana that looked like where my ex in-laws use to live. I remember mostly asking a man if he would consider splitting the cost of the house with me so I could live there in the summers.

There was a longer dream I remember. I was in my Mom’s kitchen talking with someone. A short, blonde man was visiting and he asked whether I had ever been a runner and if I would consider going on a run with him. I told him that I once ran a half marathon, so yes I could run with him, but the run would have to be short. I also told him I ran slow. I

Then I was inside another house with many other people. When I arrived the place felt foreign and I knew no one there. My bed was the top bunk of a bunk bed and I had to climb some flimsy netting stuff to get to it, eventually using the side of the bunk that was against the wall to climb into the top because the sides were too narrow to crawl through. When I climbed into the bed the navy blanket had large spiky burrs on it that had spines like prickly pears do. I began to try and pull them out but there were so many that I mentioned it to the people below. Even the pillows had burrs on them. So I tossed the pillows to the foot of the bed and moved the blanket so that I would not be stuck by the burrs. Then a black cat came up onto the bed and began to try and rub up against me. It, too, had the burrs on it so I shooed it away.

The last thing I remember about the dream is looking at the wall as I lay there feeling very alone and missing my husband. I was thinking how nice it would be to have him around to help me feel more at ease and at home where I was. This is when I heard someone say to me the words “quality” and “quantity”. I remember it as “Quantity over Quality” but it could have been the opposite, not sure.

When I woke the song, “Send me an angel….right now” was going through my head along with the concept of choosing quantity over quality.

I understand the message to be about my choices in this life. I recall that after my divorce I missed the security marriage provided and I missed the companionship and friendship of my ex. I didn’t want to be married to him again nor did I miss him as a lover or have heartache over the loss of him, I just missed the convenience of it – having plenty of money, being able to relax and not have to work or feel that dread of working and working just to survive, and the convenience of having someone to do things with and with whom I could be myself.

I don’t know what to think of the dream really. Symbolically the bunk bed means I have trouble expressing my needs and desires within a romantic relationship. The burrs represent minor annoyances and irritations that I choose to overlook. Because they are on the bed spread they indicate annoyances that I am trying to hide or cover up. I forgot to mention that the entire bunk bed scene was very dark and it was hard to see which means I am not able to see or recognize something in waking life. It could also be I am trying not to see and avoiding something. The black cat is my intuition. It also has burrs which indicate something annoying or uncomfortable about my intuition. I push it away meaning I am not wanting to listen to my intuition.

Quality over Quantity

The message about choosing quality over quantity stuck with me and I pondered it for a while. I analyzed my choices in life. When did I choose quality and when did I choose quantity? What does “quality” mean to me?

Immediately I knew that in regards to career I had chosen quality over quantity. I left teaching and counseling which provided security in the form of a good paycheck in favor of a job that paid much less but was low stress and gave me the ability to work from home.

Also, with my previous marriage, I had held on for a long while because of the “quantity” of things if offered me (convenience, security, money)  but the “quality” of my existence began to suffer so much that I ultimately chose to – had to – leave for my own sanity.

In another memory I went back to middle school when the desire to fit in often led me to difficult lessons. I had won the friendship of the most popular girl, which was a big win for me. However, the girl desired me only because she thought my family “rich” (lol we weren’t) and was constantly trying to get me to buy things for her, which I did. She also used me for my “brains” and often asked me for the answers to questions on assignments and tests. At some point I recognized that the cost of being her friend was my own self-respect and that, in the end, the quality of her friendship was very poor and not worth the sacrifice. Sure I gained her friendship and the following of all her “minions” (quantity) but it was not worth it. So, one day when she was asking me to provide her with answers to a test, I loudly called her out in front of the whole class, effectively severing my friendship with her and creating a long-term enemy in the process. I do not regret the decision, however, and would do it again in a heartbeat.

Ultimately, “quality” to me tends to win out even though I often take a long while to make the choice.

Not long after this dream there was a post on FB that caught my attention:

“Why has it become so important to us to prolong life, over HOW we are living, and to postpone death rather than ask how we are dying.”

—Charles Eisenstein

There was an entire discussion below the quote and in one comment someone mentioned “Quality over quantity” and I thought, “Ah – there is it again!” In this instance the message was about quality of life over quantity (in years) of life and how so many people cling to life, fearing death, but do not live a quality life because fear stops them in their tracks. This specific post was about Covid-19, but my take on it was that I was being asked by my guidance to consider the quality of the life I now live.

Headless Bird

An interesting symbol presented itself early in the week. I found an adolescent bird – a dove – dead in my front yard. When I went to inspect it I saw that it had no head but was otherwise in perfect shape. It stood out to me as a symbol but of what I wasn’t sure.

Then this morning a friend posted on FB that she found two headless birds in her yard. I remembered my own experience and again thought, “There it is”, but what does it even mean?

Birds in general equal freedom, possibility and transition. In this case, the bird was a dove. Doves are typical symbols of love, peace and partnership while also acting as messengers. To find the dove dead and headless seems to indicate that I am effectively chopping the head off of the messenger, a messenger who brings peace, love and possibility.

In the Dark

Despite all the above messages, when I look inward all is quiet and the answers are not forthcoming. I feel cut off from my guidance and without significant dream activity I am left wondering if the answers will be forthcoming. All is pointing to me not wanting to “see”, but when I attempt to see I find myself “blind” and cut off from mySelf.

The past continues to return to me, asking me to look back on where I’ve been. When I visit this past it feels not to be me, but some other version who is no more. For example, I watched a video taken after the birth of my first child. In seeing myself I thought, “Who is that?” I remembered those days but the connection to who I once was, was gone.

In some instances I feel on the verge of another transition and stage in my life. I wonder, will I look back on this other me ten years from now and have that same feeling? Will I see that me as a complete stranger?

Ultimately, I think these experiences of not knowing or connecting with my past self are a common one, even among those who are still “asleep”. My mother speaks of having this experience, also, and how as she grows older she steps out of one version of herself into a new, better – wiser – one.

Honestly, I don’t feel ready to transition. Maybe that is why my dreams are “dark” and the symbolism indicates I wish not to “see” and am ignoring my intuition? Currently, rather than kick myself for not being able to force myself to “see” what I am avoiding, I am just going to go with it and allow it to be. Knowing now my Self (Higher) and self (lower) and how different (and at odds) they can be, I also know that my Self usually has to wait for my self before change can happen.

 

 

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Messages and Symbols: Request Granted

The Universe has been sending me some interesting signs lately. I’m not certain what they all mean, but I am sure it will be revealed at some point. My guess is they came as a response to a request I made recently after recognizing my dreams were telling me I did not want to “see” something. So I asked, “Show me what I need to see.”

Ouroboros

One day, while on one of my daily walks with my dog, Monty, I saw something on the road at a distance. When I went to inspect it I saw it was a dead snake, belly up. The snake was just a baby, only about four inches long. What was most interesting about it, though, was that it looked as if it were eating its own tail. This immediately reminded me of a SciFi series I watched just before the Coronavirus hit – 12 Monkeys.

In the series, the symbols if the snake eating it’s own tail, was brought up quite often. It is known as the Ouroboros. In the series it was a representation of time and the endless repetitive nature of it involving the cycles of life and rebirth. The symbolism was mentioned often and I recall it being said it meant that the ending equals the end equals the beginning; infinity.

As I was typing just now and searching for a picture that was similar to what I saw, I came across the above image and a memory flooded my mind. The memory was of a tiny ring my dad gave me when I was around 12 years old. The ring was of a snake eating its tail. It was silver and the eyes were red rubies. The ring was lost a long time ago and until now I had completely forgotten about it. How interesting!

Back to when I saw the snake…I knew immediately it was a message and my first thought was that it was reminding me of the cyclical nature of existence; I would be experiencing something again but in a new way. It was a head up from my guidance, but what specific experience would be returning?

Hawk Feather Under the Full Moon

Around this same time, on yet another of my walks, I saw two Red Tailed Hawks flying low overhead. One stopped on a pole where I was able to see it very close up. It flew away as several smaller birds dive bombed it but not before I took note.

A couple of days later I took a different route on my walk, back behind the church in a large field. The moon was full and low in the sky and I felt drawn to the field for some reason. Soon I realized why. Halfway through the walk I saw a large feather laying in the grass. It looked as if it had just been dropped. I picked it up and knew it was a hawk feather.

No photo description available.

Red-tailed hawk feathers were often rewarded to ancient warriors as a symbol of bravery. The red hawk is considered a messenger and symbolizes strength and guardianship. A common belief in many cultures is that when a single feather appears in an unusual place, it is a message from a spirit guide or angel. Reference.com

Later, I posted an image of the feather on my Instagram account and a friend asked me about the symbolism. When I wrote that it symbolized “vision” somehow I ended up posting “bison”. lol My friend wrote back, “Bison is freedom”. And so we add that to the message of the hawk feather. 🙂

Dead Swallow

On another one of my walks around this time, I witnessed swallows fighting in the air. They came very close to the ground, almost hitting my dog. I took note and continued on my walk.

The next day on my walk I came across a dead swallow on the side of the road. It was very fresh and I knew it was the result of the fight I saw on the previous day.

From my research it appears the swallow symbolizes communication, love and relationships as well as luck and happiness, fidelity and protection. If it is dead, it is a symbol of something going “bad” or becoming “rotten”.

Music Messages

Throughout this time I had messages coming at me in the form of songs. This is the order they appeared in:

With this song I kept hearing, “Run away, but we’re running in circles. Run away, run away.” A path is repeating. Notice it.

With this song I only heard this part – “We’re on each others team.” The message here is to remember that despite what it may seem, we are all on the same side; family.

A day passed and the next morning I woke hearing this song:

I heard the chorus of this one – “Don’t show up. Don’t come out. Don’t start caring ’bout me now. Walk away, you know how. Don’t start caring ’bout me now.” This was the result of my frustration with a situation.

Reading Revelation

The final message came via a tarot reading I gave just two days ago. Always, when I give a reading, the message I pass on applies also to myself in some way.

In this instance these statements came through as applicable also to me:

Card – The Forest Lovers

The symbolism here is all about karma and karmic or soul connections. The lovers are bound together throughout many lifetimes. They play out a very old lesson until it is learned. Elements of Earth and Air are present. May 1st is an important date here – Beltane, Spring, new beginnings. There is a 3rd energy created via the couple. This could be a child, a path or something material. The Tree of Life is also a strong symbol here, indicating the cycle of life, death and rebirth. The path forward lies in a karmic or soul connection and the fulfillment of a promise. Creation of life and creative potential are the keys to fulfillment of the promise and completing the cycle.

One becomes many become one.

The beginning = the end.

Forest lovers

From the Wildwood Tarot

As with every message I receive, I trust what I feel in regards to it. Overall, the messages when combined seem to indicate the path I am on is cyclic and the result of many lifetimes. A promise has been made and needs to be fulfilled. Until I fulfill my end of the deal, I am bound to this path and promise. It is purposeful that the promise is not revealed or consciously recalled. I am meant to not know. All I can do is trust my intuition/heart and follow where it leads. It may not always be where I want to go and may seem to contradict where I want to go, but it will lead to the ending/beginning eventually.

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Kundalini Dream: Plane Romance

The last two nights I have had trouble falling to sleep. Last night it was because of having to cough. When the weather turns cold like it did recently, dropping 25 degrees in a few hours, my allergies tend to flare up causing my eyes to water, my nose to run and my throat to tickle from all the post nasal drip. The general sense I get, though, is that my sleeplessness is also from the full moon energies right now which feel pretty intense.

I had an interesting dream that woke me this morning.

Dream: Plane Romance

I was on a very large airplane (goals materializing, advancement or rising about troubles/problems) with lots of other people. I sat in a row that had many more seats than I a normal plane would. There was someone walking up and down the isle calling names from a list. It felt like we all worked together and the names were being called for the person to report or maybe get a reward or both. I can’t remember.

I sat two seats from the isle where the man was walking. There was a man next to me who was attractive but I don’t remember much about what he looked like. He was clean cut, though, with short hair that was either blonde or light brown, and had a very ordinary face, almost boyish looking.

There was a sense that he and I knew each other well and it was not long before he hugged me and we began to kiss. I could feel my lower chakras explode in a pleasurable sensation and for some reason I felt fear or concern over this and pulled away. I then left him behind and went searching for my blanket (protection). I walked all over looking for it and began to ask people if they had seen it. One woman asked what it looked like and I could not remember what color it was, only that it was big. As I told her I thought it was blue I saw a bunch of blue blankets all around me but none of them was mine.

Eventually I returned back to my seat awaiting the calling of my name, which I never heard called in the dream. The man was still there and he turned to me and pulled me to him, wrapping his arms loosely around my waist. I looked up at him, he was about a foot taller than me, and said, “I’m sorry I pulled away. The feeling you give me scares me.” He looked pensive for a moment and then said, “Oh, that’s interesting.” For a moment it seemed like he did not know what to make of what I had just told him. I got a sense that his experience wasn’t like mine.

We began to kiss again and the experience was very real, causing an increase in lucidity. I could feel him pressing himself into my hips and upper leg. My lower chakras began to erupt in a pleasurable way.

There was a loud sound, like a thump, and I jumped back for a moment. My thought at this time was that someone might see us and we would be found out. I was worried about this for some reason.

We continued to kiss passionately and my lower chakras expanded as an energy started traveling slowly upward. My second chakra seemed huge and I could feel energy entering my solar plexus.

The intensity of the energy woke me and I lingered in bed for some time feeling the strong energy in my first two chakras. I took a moment to imagine the energy rising up my spine to better distribute the energy. This helped and soon everything balanced out.

Considerations

It seems that I am resisting the K rising at this time. It is odd that my fear of being “found out” has returned. I thought I had resolved that. I use to feel very guilty about my dream “flings” and then shifted into a full acceptance of them. Once I fully accepted the experience the K was able to rise. I know I made a decision not long ago that I should stay away from the very intense, sexual K energy because it was not helpful and seemed to cause a kind of obsessiveness with it. But perhaps I need to undo that decision? Resistance is never helpful with the K. It only creates problems – physical and/or emotional – and leads to delays.

I was reminded of something I recently read in Bonnie Greenwell’s book, The Kundalini Guide. In it she mentions how the lower chakras can feel especially sexual and intense. She says some teachings suggest those who have intense energy in the second chakra tell students to go out and get it out of their system. She doesn’t really agree with this, instead she suggests using gentle practices to encourage the energy to move upward. It is clear, though, that avoidance will not help regardless.

The blanket part of the dream is interesting to me. I seem intent on finding mine. Lately I have had many dreams and OBEs with blankets in them. They seem to symbolize protection or something that provides security and comfort. When I woke and was thinking of this my guidance told me, “You don’t need that (the blanket). You are always protected.”

It is strange to me that I would think I need protection from the intensely sexual energy I was feeling. Why does it scare me? When I have felt the energy in the past I have had considerations that it is “bad” or “sinful” and that “nothing good comes from it.” My guess is that I have had past lives where this feeling/energy consumed me and caused me to respond to it in negative ways with poor life choices. I do know I have killed myself in at least two other lives because of feelings arising out of such intense sensations.

It reminds me of the early time prior to my first major rising of the K when I had many dreams and OBEs where I would be confronting this HUGE energy and avoiding it out of fear that it would “take over” or be the end of me. Over time this subsided and I shifted to embracing the energy, which did not kill me as I felt it would. So it is likely this fear is unfounded and won’t last long. Once I embrace the energy/feeling, it will transform as it is meant to.

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Dream: Hitchhiking

Positive dream this morning which came after I asked for assistance. Specifically I asked, “What do I need to do?”

Dream: Hitchhiking 

The dream began with me on the side of a highway in Texas. I had with me all of my clothes in a pile and was trying to put on as much as I could in order to avoid carrying it all. I also had a leather bag or purse.

Someone was with me and I was talking to them as I put on a white, circular skirt. I remember looking at it and thinking it was suited for a much younger person and then shrugged it off and tied it around my waist. It fit perfectly and looked good.

Several times I caught myself with considerations about what people would think of me there on the side of the road with my clothing. I knew what I would think, and it was mostly not good; judgmental.

A woman stopped by and offered me a ride. I agreed and began to grab my things to include a cell phone. I looked for a place to put it and opted to slip it into a pocket in my shirt. I knew it was very fragile and I worried it might fall out and be lost, but let that worry go.

Then I was with the woman riding down the highway only it seemed as if we were on the outside of the vehicle, like in a side car of a motorcycle. I could feel the wind in my hair and the bumps of the road. Yet I knew we had hitched a ride on a big rig.

The woman had with her a little, blonde, crippled boy. I was very curious about him and watched him the remainder of the dream. Somehow I knew he was very special and needed lots of love and attention. At the same time he proved to be quite demanding and spoiled but I didn’t judge him for it.

As we traveled it seemed there were others that came and went. At one point a man’s phone rang and he answered it. It was information about Lamar Blvd and all roads merging into one. I commented that it didn’t surprise me.

Discussion turned to where we were heading. The older lady said she had planned on dropping me off in eastern Tennessee. Pleasantly surprised, I turned to my friend and said, “See! I had no expectation about where I would end up and it turns out I hitch a ride to Tennessee!” I was completely blown away and in awe of the “coincidence” because I had wanted to go there but had long given up on it ever happening. Then I said, “It is so beautiful there….not that the other states aren’t beautiful, too – like Kentucky and Alabama…” For some reason I felt I had accidentally insulted the other “states” by what I said.

Then we stopped at a store. Everyone went inside to use the bathroom and get a bite to eat. I had opted to stay in the truck but at the last minute decided to stretch my legs. I remember asking where the bathroom was and looking into the store from a distance to try and find it. I noticed the women’s and men’s rooms were on opposite sides of the store. I said, “I hope it isn’t very far to walk. I don’t want to accidentally get left behind.”

Inside the store I began to walk toward the bathroom. I could see the sign posted. It was above a brightly lit, yellow hallway. A woman with a tray of cookies stopped me and asked if I would like to try one. I eagerly said, “Yes!”, grabbed a cookie and ate it as if I was starving. Then I turned and saw the handicapped boy was inside the store with a woman. He had a circular, pink cake in his arms and was trying to leave the store without falling down. The only problem was that both his legs were amputated below the knee and he lost his balance and fell. The cake was safe, though, and the woman helped him up and back to the truck.

The last thing I recall about the dream was talking about what I would do when I got to Tennessee. All I had were literally the clothes on my back. I remember saying I could find work and that the people there were all friendly so I knew I would get the help I needed. As I said this I had a visual in my mind of being dropped off by the road, holding all my possessions in my arms and walking into the unknown. The feeling I had was like that of a small child – wide-eyed with no fear.

Interpretation

Overall this dream seems to be a positive one and the feeling I had upon waking was optimistic.

Hitchhiking indicates a message that my success is dependent on the help of others. I can’t make it to my destination without assistance. Throughout the dream I rely on the help of others and end up at the destination I desire. In this case it is a “state” which I suspect is not a physical location but a state of being, though it could be both.

Clothing symbolizes one’s individuality, personality and how others perceive them. In this case I am putting clothes over the top of other clothing. Specifically, a white, circular skirt that seems inappropriate for my age. I recognize my considerations about this – how others might perceive me – and shrug it off. The white skirt is a symbol of femininity and sexuality and can represent taking a trip and following a “call”. White is purity and good intentions. The circular aspect is continuity and the cycle of life/death. All together this indicates to me an acceptance of my feminine side, hope and following that which is calling to me.

The cell phone is communication. I worried I would lose it so I kept it safe and close to me. This could be reassurance from my HS that I will maintain a connection I fear will be lost.

The message about all roads merging into one speaks for itself. In the end we all have the same destination.

The boy in the dream is likely an aspect of myself. He could represent the masculine being disabled in some way or needing special attention.

The semi-truck symbolizes one’s responsibilities in life. The fact that I perceive myself to be outside of it in a side car could indicate that I am able to step back and view my responsibilities and burdens in a new way, perhaps finding my independence.

As the dream progresses I indicate a fear of being “left behind”. I also gobble up a cookie as if I am starving. Cookies symbolize desire.

The boy has with him a bright, pink, circular cake. Cakes symbolize celebration and the sweet things in life. The color pink is symbolic of love. Despite him stumbling he doesn’t drop the cake. His lack of legs indicates lack of knowledge and setbacks that will be overcome.

In the end I see the unknown through new eyes. I have no fear and have faith that all will be provided.

 

 

 

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Big Cat Dream Theme

I keep having crazy dreams with big cats in them. It started off with tigers, shifted to lions and then morphed into all sorts of big cats together.

Here is the progression thus far:

First dream I recall is being in a fenced, paved area. It was full of tigers, all of which were completely soaked and waterlogged looking. I walked through the group of 10+ tigers calmly, petting each of them as I passed, and talking to them. They felt like my pets.

In another dream I was handling tiger cubs. I don’t recall much from this dream except sitting amidst an entire litter of them and thinking them cute.

Last night I had a dream where I was on top of a building that was at least 5 stories high. I was hanging off a flag pole. Below me were various big cats seeming to wait for me to fall so they could eat me. One was on the roof looking down at me. I believe it was a leopard because I distinctly recall seeing spots. Someone below shot one of the big cats – a lion. I knew it was to distract the other big cats so they would forget me. Sure enough, once the lion was wounded all the other big cats converged upon it to eat it. They began to fight over it and I watched as they tore at its flesh and fought one another off. The leopard above me jumped down to join the feast. I was clear to crawl up and get away but the dream ended there.

These are just the dreams that pop into my head. I believe I already wrote about others I’ve had prior to this post. This one and this one for starters.

I can’t help but wonder – Why am I dreaming of big cats all of a sudden?

Firstly, in my most recent dream, the leopard stood out.

Together, the big cats symbolize the following:

  • Passion & Sensuality
  • Courage
  • Strength
  • Cunning
  • Vision
  • Confidence
  • Power
  • Agility
  • Flexibility
  • Action
  • Patience
  • Leadership
  • The Feminine

My intuition tells me that all these dreams about big cats are showing me something about myself that either I am not acknowledging or am afraid of.

Taken along with the dream I had last night about conquering an evil, domineering, controlling, slave-driving woman, it seems I am working on addressing my power and fear of abusing that power, or using it for the wrong reasons and with the intent to harm or control others.

In the distant past, years ago now, I had dream of being surrounded by hundreds of cats. I’m not kidding! In the dream, I found myself on the top of a mountainside talking to one of my guides when a massive group of cats, mostly orange, surrounded me. The message I got was to not be afraid of myself – of my desire. In that dream I was freaked out, though not by the cats themselves but by the impending doom feeling that came over me. Over a period of several years, cats were common dream symbols. Sometimes fluffy white kittens that I cuddled, other times sick and emaciated, and then sometimes just there, staring at me. Not surprisingly, the Kundalini became active around this time as well.

If I go inward, what it feels like these cats are trying to tell me is that I am stronger than I think and to trust myself, my power, and ability to take action when it is needed. There is a sense that my feminine side is especially needing to heed this advice.

The sense that these dreams are pointing at my feminine aspect is further supported by other dreams. I already mentioned killing off a negative, controlling and evil version of myself, but last night I had another dream that subtly points to the feminine.

Dream

In this dream I was walking across the border to Alabama but the scene I saw was me literally standing on a map and crossing a white line.

I then briefly shifted into a room where I was with a group and then I shifted again into a car that was driving across a bridge. I noticed that there were no guard rails on the bridge and began to worry about falling over the edge. I was not driving so I told the driver to stay away from the edge, to stay on the right. He disregarded my requests and I felt very anxious until we were safely on the other side.

Then I noticed the road we were on was on a steep ledge. Again, there were no guard rails to keep us from falling off. Again I was concerned about the left side of the road. I said to the driver, “I don’t like Alabama. They don’t put guard rails on their roads. Who would do that? It’s dangerous! They must have wrecks all the time!” In my mind I envisioned cars nose diving into embankments and people hurt and bleeding from accidentally driving too close to the edge of the road.

Then I was back in the room with the group of people. They seemed to be Native Americans but I only got this idea from the one man I was interacting with. He was thin, with long, black hair, bare chested, reddish skin tone, and had only one arm – his left arm. He had in his hand a protein bar and he handed it to me asking me what I thought of it. I read the ingredients but can’t recall now what I read. I responded that I would not like it and showed him what I did like, commenting on the fiber content. He grabbed it with his left hand and I remember realizing he had no arm and wondering how he lost it. I knew he was born that way somehow and felt bad for him. I imagined what it must be like.

Interpretation

Though this may not seem at all related to the feminine, it is.

The lack of guard rails on the left is a reference to the left side of the body, which is the side associated with feminine traits. The road has no guard rails, which symbolizes no protection, no barrier. So I am afraid of losing myself to the feminine for some reason; afraid of my own feminine power, senses, etc.

Similarly, the Native American man I am talking to in the dream has no right arm. I believe this was to get me to notice the left arm and how he was able to function perfectly fine without the right one. I suspect I was talking with a guide and the discussion we were having was about how I felt about standing in my own power, that being feminine power specifically.

I’m not sure about the symbolism of Alabama, if there is any. It could just be symbolic of stepping into a different “state” of being. lol I laugh because that actually makes sense to me.

The discussion about the protein bar is likely about my preferences. He shows me one that is distasteful and I show him what I like. I cannot recall much about his option except that it was high in fat. My best guess at the symbolism here is that I feel his option is not good for me somehow.

This dream along with other dreams and messages I’ve been having suggests I am being prepped for a potential and/or upcoming decision/event that necessitates my coming to terms with my own feminine power in some way. Signs and syncs have been pointing this out to me as well.

Here is one that comes to mind:

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Another sync or realization that came to me was related to Athens, GA.

A long-time friend of mine just recently (in December) moved to Athens, GA from Austin, TX. She left everything behind and started brand new, in a place where she knew no one. She has guts, right!? And when I first heard of her move I was jealous. I wished I had her guts. Still do.

But then yesterday, I stumbled upon a dream I had a while back in which I was shown Athens, GA. I had no idea what the dream was referring to because it made no sense with my life or plans. I realized, after re-reading the post, that I was likely being shown something future-related. At the time of the dream I didn’t know anyone in Athens, GA. Now I do.

Anyway, it may seem unrelated but I think is somehow is, I just don’t know exactly how the puzzle piece fits just yet.