Tag Archives: symbolism

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Dream: Job Termination

Prior to bed I asked for clarification on the dream I mentioned in my last post, the one where I was in the check-out line and received the message, “Removal Order.” I asked my guidance to give me more clarity on it because it has been bothering me. A straight-forward explanation would be ideal. I felt immediate confirmation via an all-over-body surge of warm energy that spread around me like a hug. Honestly, though, I did not expect much from my request and these days that is the norm. Once I send out the request I usually forget about it right away, especially if it is prior to sleep because for some reason I fall asleep immediately after. lol The only reason I even remember I made the request this morning is that a dream triggered my memory.

Dream: Job Termination 

I was in dark, factory-like setting that was hard to make out. The colors are what stands out – various shades of gray brick and black shadows. There is a feeling of being on the balcony of a large building, though, similar to a warehouse, looking out over a city. I was with another person whose appearance and gender I cannot recall. I don’t remember when I was told but I received notice of my termination of employment as a teacher. My feeling was of shock at first especially as I heard that I would receive payment for a time after my job ended, the amount was $11/hour I believe.

The part that is most memorable is my question. I was asking about the other employees, would they also be receiving notice soon? I was told that they would but it would not be in advance like mine. They would be told of their termination on their last day and be asked to leave. Some may get a few days advanced notice but most would not. In my mind I saw these employees. They looked like security officers. I got upset and became concerned with their well-being, questioning why they would be treated so. I remember a male voice telling me, “Be grateful you are getting advanced notice.”

I recall standing there for a while letting the information sink in. It felt a bit overwhelming for some reason and I began to become lucid as I realized what was being discussed. I began to sob and woke up.

When I awoke my first thought was memory of my request prior to bed. The emotion I felt stemmed from a feeling of uncertainty and endings. Was this my answer? Was I being told that I would be leaving my “current position”? If so, then what does that even mean? I don’t even have a job right now other than stay-at-home-mom. Does it mean I lose that job? Or is it something more….like am I being removed from the position I have in this lifetime? And severance pay? Huh? Pay = reward for hard work and this pay is $11. There’s that number again.

Trying not to think about it too much, I drifted back to sleep.

Dream: Haunting Myself

I was lying in bed and woke suddenly. To my left I saw a swivel chair. The chair began to spin very fast. It got faster and faster to the point that it looked like a blur. In seeing the chair spinning I became terrified and started screaming, “No! No!” To my right I sensed the energy of several people but I could not see them. They began to close in around me and my panic increased. I heard someone say, “You are doing this. It is all you.” The voice did not make me feel any better but a part of me knew that there was nothing to fear. I ignored that part, though, choosing instead to resist.

It felt like the people around me were coming to take me away. There was no negative energy coming from them or the spinning chair but I felt wild with panic for some reason. I began to speak in another language trying to ward them off. It was like an incantation or something that was said to keep out negative entities. It didn’t work, though. The chair kept spinning wildly and the invisible presences came closer and closer. I was surrounded and my last memory is of the energies looking blurry white and me freaking out to the point that I woke up, heart racing and scared to move.

Even after I awoke I felt still to be in the dream. The room was spinning a bit and my heart was racing still. I laid there frozen for a while waiting for my heart to slow down and for my fear to abate. I remember perceiving my physical bedroom as the one in the dream and so it took a while to get my bearings and see it accurately. I wondered briefly why I would have such a nightmare. I don’t have nightmares, or at least haven’t in a very long time. As I type this I suspect I was trying to wake up in my dream and since I didn’t listen and chose to be afraid I muddled the attempt.

Other Dreams

The rest of the early morning (I first woke at 4am) is a mixture of dreams and in-between moments as I tossed and turned trying to recover lost sleep.

In one dream I recall being a man and fiddling with my penis (lol) which felt very real and so was fascinating to me being I am a woman in this lifetime. Funny thing is, I have had other similar dreams in the past and always love the experience. I suspect it represents my masculine side in some way. Dream symbolism suggests it means power and sexual energy.

In another dream I saw a large egg that had hatched. Next to it was a full-grown dragon (strong-will and fiery personality) but I only saw it’s head. It was dead, though. The dragon head was dark gray with bright yellow-orange highlights and was very beautiful. I felt sadness over it’s demise.

Then there are shadows of memories of talking to someone about making plans. I remember thinking that all the plans that were in the works would not matter. It felt like I needed to prepare for a trip, to tie up loose ends. There is also vague memory of switching places with someone but it is very hard to remember and the more I try, the more the memory recedes into my subconscious.

There was an entire vision-dream of my husband telling me about some property. It felt like my mom’s but I am unsure. The feeling was that he had gone his own way and was asking my permission to continue with his plans for the property. As he told me these things it felt like a wall of invisible energy was constructed between us. He was on one side and unreachable. He was standing in my mom’s living room and behind him I could see scenes flashing, like from a movie reel. There was a feeling of time passing, moving forward very fast. The feeling I had when receiving this information was grief and not having control over what was going on because I would not be present on his side of the invisible wall between us.

Finally, as I woke, a piece of the dream about losing my job came suddenly to my memory. There was a calendar and on it two days were circled. The first was a bright red 2 and the second date was a bright red 8. The 2 looked to be toward the end of the week, like a Friday. The 8 looked to be earlier in the week like a Wednesday. I knew this was the “termination period”. Turns out November 2nd is a Thursday and November 8th is a Wednesday, just like what I saw on the calendar in my dream.

Considerations

I feel normal this morning except for feeling a bit tired still. My immediate feeling is that the dreams and visions I had were to prepare me for something to come. Perhaps there is something going on between November 2-8th that is significant for me (maybe others as well)? One of the things that crossed my mind during one of my brief waking moments between dreams/visions was that I was about to “die”. Again, this is likely just the death of some aspect but who knows. I am ready for this “death” regardless of the kind that it turns out to be, so I am not at all concerned about it.

The fear dream is a total surprise to me. I have no idea why I had that dream nor do I know why I was so afraid. Perhaps the people coming to “get me” reminded me of some past life and so I acted on the memory? It did feel like I was about to be “taken” and from a place where I felt safe (my bedroom). Symbolically this could indicate that something is about to happen in my life that takes me from my comfort zone against my will, but who knows.

Regardless, I am thinking it may be best to stop asking for clarification. lol

P.S. You may be wondering why I am posting more. I created a poll on my FB page asking people to tell me their blog preference – WP or Blogger. WP won so I am trying to slowly transition back to WP.

 

 

 

 

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Signs, Messages and Triggers

This is my life
I can choose to accept it
Or I can struggle against it
Whatever I choose is no mistake
But a choice that can be changed
At any time

I have options
though they are limited
by the contracts I’ve agreed to
Sometimes the option outcomes
differ little from one another
It matters not

Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

Blessed if I do, blessed if I don’t.

It’s all about perspective.

Current Messages and Connections

Quote

Quote from Sense8, season 2: “I’m slowly dying of survival.” This quote resonated with me. It came from episode 6 when one of the sense8’s mentioned how he had been in hiding for 30 years and, though he was surviving, it was a life devoid of meaning or purpose.

Images of Sky

These pictures were taken yesterday on a short road trip to a small town East of where I live. On the way home the sky began to look like gray ocean waves. I was mesmerized by the beauty of it, though, and did not consider it a bad omen. However, I can see how it reflects the emotional state I’ve been in this year. It has often felt like I am drowning.

4/22-4/24 and 12/17

These dates were given to me in the in-between a couple of nights ago. I am not sure of the significance of them but so far 4/22 has me in a very contemplative state. It seems like the past is repeating itself and I am being asked to consider how I want to handle this repetition. I was informed that a meeting will take place on the 23rd, but I am not sure what kind or what for. The 24th has been showing up as significant and connected to the Mayan calendar. However, I was told this is the first day of the last of three sections of the Equinox Portal in the month of May.

As for the 12/17 date, it has been given to me twice now. A friend from Shasta who is an astrologer said this about the December date:

The night of the 17th we have a new Moon conjunct the galactic center setting the tone for a powerful expansive month ahead. This is on the cusp of Saturn entering his own sign Capricorn on the 19th beginning a profound power surge for the next 2 to 3 years. The 17th may be a “meeting” or counsel of the galactics upstairs in preparation for the huge shift that begins on the 19th.

Blinking Aura

Message received two nights ago about my aura was that it was blinking like a strobe light. It caused a reaction in me because I have seen this aura phenomena in people who are nearing and very close to death. My grandfather was one of them. I watched as he went OOB and then would return to the body over and over again. I believe the “blinking” or flashing of the aura that appears much like a strobe light is due to this in/out of body state. However, I have found that others believe it to mean that one’s angels are very close, which could also be true. I have let the message be for now as I am unconcerned one way or the other.

Let Thine Will Be Mine

Received last week and repeated this morning. The message is to allow whatever is to happen, to happen. To trust that I am where I need to be and not assign value or worth to any one experience over the other. They are all equally important and necessary for this journey. Each experience offers its own lesson, its own value, if only I look to find it.

My reaction is mixed. I understand but am furious at the same time. I’m being asked to Trust regardless of what is thrown my way, to accept the good and bad equally. Easy when it’s all “good”, not so much when it turns “bad”. Currently I feel like I have already lived the best part of my life. To live the rest of my life with this ache in my heart is the equivalent of hell to me. My burden to bear alone for the rest of this lifetime. How do I Trust and Allow that?

firefly

Signs from Nature

Firefly –  Landed on the door in front of me in broad day light. Message: Illumination.

Butterfly – Saw a purple Swallowtail butterfly. Thought, “I want him to come see me.” He flew directly toward me, flew around my head for a while, and then flew off. Message: Transformation.

Raccoon – Came to visit a few weeks ago. First time I’ve seen one since moving here in 2014. Last night I had a dream of a dead raccoon hanging up in a garage by a noose. Message: Let go.

Familiar Feeling

The way I am feeling currently takes me back to the year I entered into the darkest part of my Dark Night of the Soul. Back then I felt much as I do now – betrayed, misled and disillusioned. I realized at a later date that the reason for all the upheaval in my life during my Dark Night was because I was unwilling to accept the truth of the situation. I was full of resistance to the point of rebellion. At the time the message I could not accept was that the time was not right for what I wanted and I was to move in another direction while I waited until the time was right. It took me a while to fall into acceptance. Life actually forced me into various upsetting events but once I fell into acceptance things shifted and a path opened up to me. I ended up on a “detour” for 7 years before the timing was right and my spiritual path opened up again to me.

Apparently, “the time is not right” again. I can choose to rebel and resist or I can just allow the path ahead to open up. It seems obvious what I should do but I can’t help but feel outrage at the unfairness of it all. I seem always to be waiting in this life and then, when things finally get good, they last for only a moment and I am waiting again. The “good” times are so few and so fleeting in comparison. For example, after my first awakening I had maybe three good years (1 really exciting one) and then was back to waiting. The wait was 7 years! Three years have passed (2014-2017) with one very exciting and eventful year (2016) and now it looks like I am to wait again. How long? Most likely years. I can’t stand it. I am not patient. Never have been. Knowing a long wait is ahead is excruciating. I want to throw a really, really big tantrum, cross my arms across my chest, turn my back on my guidance and make them pay by following the destructive path (yeah insane right?).  But I know such tantrums only result in more pain on my part. I can go along peacefully or face the consequences.

I’ve been going in and out of insanity for a few weeks now. I will have moments of complete clarity followed by full-on resistance and emotional chaos. I’m super triggered by the events of my life, by people in my life, by memories that surface….everything triggers me. I’m like a bomb waiting to go off and when I explode it’s not pleasant.

Yesterday I woke in complete acceptance and balance. This morning I woke up cussing out my guidance and asking for an “opt out”. This has gotten their attention at least. We’ll see if some revisions can be made. Of course it’s likely when we have our “meeting” I will be the balanced, cooperative me and nothing will be altered at all. I’ll get a pat on the back, congratulations and a job well-done followed up with a “You can do this”.  I’ll be full of love, smiles, and agreement like I usually am when OOB. Big sigh.

 

 

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Sakura

A while ago I received a name in the in-between. It appeared to be my name, yet I wasn’t sure. I didn’t write about it because at the time I was experiencing a deep emotional purge and felt a need to withdraw and reconnect with 3D. I also had no idea the significance of the name I received. All I knew is that I identified with the name. It was one of those experiences where I heard the name in the in-between and repeated it until I awoke. The name was Sakura.

The next morning, I looked it up. I kept hearing it two ways – Sakura and Zakura. The pronunciation only slightly different. In my research I quickly discovered it is Japanese for “cherry blossom.”

Since that morning I the name continues to come to mind at random times. This indicates I have not received the full message it brings, but I was not motivated to look further until today when, yet again, it came to mind.

So I looked up the word again and found two websites that seemed to provide the message the name was meant to convey.

The characters included on this site drew me to it. I’m not drawn to the middle one as much as the top and bottom ones. They remind me of Light Language, especially the one for tree/wood.

sakura
This is the Japanese character for sakura. The 木 (ki) on the left side means tree/wood and developed from a pictogram of a tree, with the horizontal line as branches and diagonal lines as roots. Sakura is derived from saku 咲, which means to bloom, or alternately to smile/laugh. The 口 in 咲 indicates an open mouth.

hanami
花 (hana) means “flower,” and 見 (mi), means “to view.” Together, hanami literally means “to view flowers.” 見 is a combination of the characters for “eye” and “human,” evolving from a pictogram of a human figure with two legs and a large eyeball for a head.

yozakura
These characters (yozakura) mean viewing cherry blossom at night. 夜 (yo) means night, and 桜 (zakura) is the same as sakura.

This website drew me in with the explanation for the symbolism behind the cherry blossom. I think the quotes below contain the message I was meant to receive.

Cherry blossoms hold elevated status in China, signifying love and the female mystique (beauty, strength and sexuality)….

Tied to the Buddhist themes of mortality, mindfulness and living in the present, Japanese cherry blossoms are a timeless metaphor for human existence. Blooming season is powerful, glorious and intoxicating, but tragically short-lived — a visual reminder that our lives, too, are fleeting.

Why don’t we marvel at our own passing time on earth with the same joy and passion? Why do we neglect to revel in life when it can end at any moment, or in the grace surrounding us everywhere: our family, friends, a stranger’s smile, a child’s laugh, new flavours on our plate or the scent of green grass? It is time, cherry blossoms remind us, to pay attention.

Sakura are also revered as a symbol of rebirth.

 

 

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2017: Newborn Butterfly Stage

Today has been a beautiful day. I spent most of it at my Mom’s house in the country. I took a long walk with my daughter down a dirt path into the woods. While we walked, she stopped and exclaimed, “Mom! Look! A butterfly!” I looked at it and was instantly sad because it appeared to have a broken wing. I told her to leave it alone because the last one I found like that died and I hated seeing such a beautiful creature die. She refused to leave it, though, saying, “I want to take it and show Nana!” As she picked it up, it attempted to fly out of her hand but fell to the ground. I thought, “Great sign for the new year….”

She kept the little butterfly in her hand through the rest of the walk mentioning how it kept fluttering in her hands. I didn’t think much about it, trying to avoid thinking of it as a bad sign.

When we got to my Mom’s house she immediately showed them. She wanted me to take a picture, so I got up real close to take a shot. When I got close, though, I realized the butterfly was not wounded at all. In fact, it was newly born! It’s bottom wings were still wrinkled. No wonder it couldn’t fly!

This is the picture I took. If you look at the bottom wings, you will see they are still wrinkled. This butterfly was not very old. My daughter thought it was a Monarch but it’s top wings were speckled and almost completely orange so I knew it wasn’t. Turns out it’s a Monarch look-a-like called a Queen Butterfly.

newborn-butterfly

Newborn Queen butterfly

After taking the picture I told my daughter to put the butterfly outside in a safe place so it’s wings could finish drying. She didn’t want to and kept letting it crawl around on her. It was very active. Finally, she did take it outside and put it near a small bush. Thankfully it was in the 70’s today. Here’s hoping it was able to finally take flight.

2017

2017 is a 1 year numerologically speaking. We end 2016, a 9 year, completing a cycle and now a new cycle begins. The butterfly sign today confirms this. I am blown away by the perfection of this sign for 2017. Not only has my guidance given me ample messages regarding the transformative stage I we have been in all of 2016, but they have also hinted that soon it will be time to test our wings and only when we have risen up in flight will we see with new eyes.

For many of us, we will feel unsteady this year as we get our bearings in our new Light bodies. There may be confusion, indecision, life upheaval and pitfalls as we test our newly formed wings and try to fly. Imagine what that newborn butterfly must have been feeling when it found itself on the middle of the road and couldn’t fly away to safety. I think many of us will feel like that butterfly – inexperienced, exposed, nervous, maybe even a bit frightened.

For most of 2017 we will be getting our bearings; learning to use our new “equipment”. What that means exactly will likely be different for everyone. I already feel unsteady as 2016 comes to an end. There is a nervousness but also a curiosity. I also don’t feel quite like myself and am questioning myself and my intentions. I feel somewhat like my  soul compass has been re-calibrated.

We will not be alone, however. Part of this new birth is finding our new families and migrating toward them. No, this will not all happen in 2017. It takes sometimes up to 2-3 hours for a newborn butterfly’s wings to be ready for flight. Similarly, we will need time to adjust and prepare. So think of 2017 as that preparation period. We will need lots of patience for we will know we are changed but will be held back by circumstance (wings still wet). For those of you like me (impatient to get going!) this feeling of being held back, of having to wait after we’ve waited for so long to get here, will test our limits. Patience – my favorite word – is what I am hearing now. Sigh.

Here….we…….GO!

 

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Shoe Troubles

Something really weird happened at work today. I was given the job of crossing guard as soon as I arrived to work. So, I set off to my assigned location. On the way, my foot felt strange. I looked down and saw that one side of my shoe was flaring out. When I got to my location, I inspected it closer and saw that the entire sole had broken off and part of the toe was exposed. The shoe was falling apart! I didn’t have a walkie or my phone with me so I had to play crossing guard for 20 minutes with a shoe that was barely staying together. Then, halfway through, the other shoe started to do the same thing! By the time I hobbled back into the office both shoes were nearly in shreds. I had to take them off and go to my first class lesson in my socks! Thankfully, it was with kindergartners and they didn’t notice. No one did really. My husband, bless him, brought me another pair of shoes without hesitation despite it making him late for work. 🙂

The strange thing is, these shoes were practically brand new. I rarely wore them and they were a good quality shoe. When I looked at them closer I noticed that the sole was literally disintegrating! It was so brittle that pieces of it crumbled in my hands as I inspected the shoes. So very odd!

When this happened to me I immediately thought, “If this was a dream, what would it mean?” So I looked and found that shoes in general represent a person’s outlook on life. If a shoe falls apart like mine did it indicates that situations and/or people in your life which you feel you can rely upon are in danger of failing. The suggestion is to look around and find things that may be broken and in need of fixing. lol Well, I can see a lot of that…. But when I thought about what it could mean while it was happening I was thinking, “This is not a good sign. My life is about to fall apart.”

Here are pictures of my lovely shoes after they failed me and broke into pieces. It is just mind blowing to me how quickly they fell apart.

Overall, it was not a bad experience just a surprising one. I had a good day and enjoyed myself with the kids and successfully taught my first guidance lesson to kindergartners. It was really fun. 🙂 Tomorrow I get to do it again. Hopefully, this time, with shoes in tact. 😉

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Symbols: Star, Caterpillar and Butterfly

Some very interesting messages in the form of symbols coming to me over the past week.

5-Pointed Star/Pentagram

About a week ago while at the playground with my son, I found a silver ring laying in the pebbles. It was a ring with a silver star on the top. I kept it, thinking I would give it to my daughter but it was too big for her. Adult-sized. I lost track of it but it kept showing up in my path, daily and multiple times.

Then, my son brought me a tiny star eraser two days ago. He tried to stick it directly into my eye. Then he put it over his own eye over and over again asking me to look at him. At this point I felt I needed to pay attention. Not only to the star but also to my son. It was like someone was telling me, “Your son will show you things. Pay attention.”

I told my guides, “Okay, if the star is a message, then send it again.” This morning, the star ring showed up in my path again. And near the star ring was another little star eraser.

Caterpillar

Around the same time as the stars started showing up, a caterpillar showed up. At the playground my daughter spotted a tiny caterpillar in the grass. He was only an inch long and greenish brown so I don’t know how she saw him. He was very well camouflaged. My youngest came and watched as she inspected the tiny creature. We had a discussion then about the life cycle of the butterfly and how the caterpillar would turn into one eventually.

img_20161028_070721.jpg

Image of the page my son was obsessed with. He kept pointing from picture 2 to picture 4 over and over and also to the page numbers.

Butterfly

Similarly, butterflies began to show up. The monarchs are migrating and every time I go to the park with my son we see monarchs. One day, however, there were so many flying overhead that I remember knowing it was a sign and to pay attention. It was beautiful to see them in mass like that! I hadn’t seen so many since 2003 when I was on a lake in North Texas and ended up in the middle of a mass of them. 2003 was the year of my initial spiritual awakening.

Additionally, my son brought me a plastic toy butterfly a few nights ago. He kept putting it on me and talking about it, saying, “Butterfly” over and over.

Then last night he brought me a book about butterflies and asked me to read it over and over and over again. The book is about the life cycle of the butterfly. It’s called Busy Butterflies. The specific part he was obsessed with was the pages showing the four stages of the cycle. He kept saying, “Caterpillar. Butterfly. Caterpillar. Butterfly” pointing to the pictures of each in the cycle. Then he would point to the page numbers. Page 9. Page 8. Page 9. He was obsessive about it.

img_20161026_194854881.jpg

Toy butterfly my son was playing with and showing me.

Messages

The pentagram or five-pointed star is symbolic of the four elements and Spirit. It can symbolize mind/spirit over matter. Rather than go into detail, this website gives a good explanation of the pentagram symbolism and use. This website is also useful.

Personally, however, I have seen the star as a message before. A very long time ago – 2005 or maybe earlier – I was shown the star as a symbol of myself and my spiritual progress. At that time, I was shown that I was in between the points on the star. I really didn’t understand the meaning of this other than to show my progress and at the time I was very disappointed because I was not at the topmost point where I knew I should be.

Add this to the APEX dream I just had and it appears my guidance is trying to show me that I have made it to a point on that star. Whether it is the topmost point (representing Spirit or the I AM) or not is not clear yet.

The butterfly and caterpillar messages are clear. A transformation is occurring/in process or maybe already complete.

Numerologically speaking, 8 is my lifepath number and 9 is the number of completion in numerology. This year, 2016, is a 9 year (2+1+6 = 9). The way I see it, the 9 indicates a transformation is about to be complete. Thus, the butterfly is about to emerge from its cocoon.

 

 

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Visitations of the Insect Kind

Yesterday I got visited by another swallowtail. This time a Giant Swallowtail. Prior to and during my trip to Tennessee I had several visits by butterflies. I guess then it shouldn’t be a surprise that they are still visiting me. 🙂

Not long after I encountered a very large moth. Here is a picture of him:

img_20161008_135913686_hdr.jpg

Then today, while outside with my children enjoying the brisk, Fall weather here in Texas, I got visited by a dragonfly. He actually landed on me multiple times and was content to just sit on my arm despite me moving around and getting very close to him. He was a brilliant blue. I didn’t have my phone so no picture, but he looked something like this:

dragonfly

The messages of these three visitors are not dissimilar. The moth was seen during the day resting on the side of the house. I nearly didn’t see him at all since he blended in so perfectly with his surroundings. Therefore, I suspect his particular message to me was to blend in. The moth reminds us to”use our environment to our advantage, blend in when necessary, adjust and adapt when the situation requires it.”

The dragonfly has visited me before. His message is to pay attention to what we think, especially those thoughts which arise via meditation and the dreamstate. He reminds us to be mindful of our thoughts for they produce our reality. This has been a near constant message from my guidance since my return from Tennessee. Keep the mind chatter to a minimum. Don’t think about “what-if’s” but instead focus on what is in your heart and your Knowingness.

The butterfly is, as always, all about transformation. Whenever I see the butterfly, I am reminded of something my guidance told me recently:

Like with all transformation, the transformed often do not notice how they have changed until they are well outside the parameters of the completed metamorphosis. Does the caterpillar know it is changing into a butterfly whilst it is inside the cocoon? When does it know that it has transcended the limits of its cumbersome body? Is it when it opens its wings for the first time? Is it when it takes its first flight? Or is it when it is up above its Earthly home looking down on what once seemed to be the insurmountable obstacle of its existence? 

 

 

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Hundreds of Butterflies

The 9.9.9 portal energies are kicking in with extreme ferocity. I was hit with major heart chakra energy mid-afternoon along with a major outpouring and realizations that hit me all at once. I happened to be driving to the gym at the time. Why do these things happen to me while I am driving? Probably because it is one of the only times I am alone.

I made it to the gym and struggled through as intense a workout as I could muster. Despite squats, lunges, presses, etc at the heaviest I could bear, my heart continued to blast and my eyes continued to water. Usually extreme physical fatigue shifts me out of my heart for a brief reprieve, but it wasn’t happening yesterday.

On my way home I was back to struggling when I began to notice hundreds of tiny, orange and yellow butterflies flying across the road. At first I thought, “No way those are butterflies!” but then at a stop light I saw them up close and personal. They were no more than an inch long and fluttering about in groups. It looked like they had just emerged from their cocoons in mass. They were spectacular!

I thought, “This is a sign. I need to pay attention.” And I did, but it was not enough to make me feel better. I know butterfly = transformation. I am about DONE with transforming now. How about you? lol

As I drove the final few miles home I was met by more and more of these tiny, beautiful creatures. I even began to worry I would hit them and tried to slow down to give them safe passage across the road. Unfortunately, there were casualties. There were just too many of them. Hundreds!

I had forgotten all about the butterfly message this morning when I went outside to ground and settle the crazy energy I am feeling. I went over to the side of the yard and there in front of me were two of the same tiny butterflies I encountered yesterday. Just two of them and they were circling and dancing around each other right in front of me. They were unafraid and came within a few inches of me doing their dance. Spectacular.

What is interesting is that right before going outside I was reminded by my guidance to “pay attention to the signs we send you.” Gotcha.

I believe the species of butterfly I am seeing is called the Painted Lady.

Rather than go into detail about the message of the butterfly, I will link my favorite go-to site for symbolism – What’s Your Sign.

 

 

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Two Recent Signs

The universe has been sending me some pretty obvious messages lately that I wanted to share.

Blue Jay

Blue Jay has visited me before back in January, but recently he is showing himself again. The first time was quite unexpected and unusual. I cannot recall just when this happened (a couple of weeks ago maybe?) but on a walk with my youngest one afternoon I came upon three baby blue jays hopping about on the sidewalk. They were too young to fly yet, so likely they had prematurely falling from their nest. They had enough feathers and ability to fly short distances but would have been an easy catch if I had wanted to do that. Instead, my son and I stopped and watched the three babies bounce about and chirp to their parents in the trees above.

I had never seen a baby Blue Jay before. In fact, I have not seen many jays in my lifetime, at least not this close up. When I lived a hour north of my location now blue jays were very, very rare. Here near the city they are more common, this year especially.

In addition to the close encounter with the baby jays I have a pair of blue jay parents dive bombing my bird feeder. I purposefully bought a finch feeder with very tiny perches to keep the larger birds away. I prefer feeding the pretty songbirds like Cardinals. Anyway, the jay is very smart and has figured out how to get to the seed despite being way to big for the feeder. I have been watching as they grab some sunflower seed, take it to a nearby tree to eat and then return for more. The somehow manage to get the seed by balancing on the lower perches sideways, wings flapping. They also have babies that look like adults who they share their winnings with.

Eleven

As if the Blue Jays weren’t enough of a hint, the universe decided to give me a more obvious message. Yesterday afternoon I kept feeling something on the inside of my pants that created a slightly annoying itch. I brushed my leg several times and the last time I noticed something was stuck to my leg. I pulled it off and it was this:

11

Though the image is very large here, this is a tiny sticker maybe half and inch square. It is likely an inspection sticker from my pants. When I saw it I laughed out loud. The universe couldn’t have been anymore obvious!

When looking up the angel number of 11 I usually go to the Joanne Sacred Scribes website. This time, however, that explanation did not feel right. So I went to this site instead. I like how it immediately states that the number 1, which is doubled in 11, indicates a new chapter or fresh start. Two ones together, 11, symbolize a doorway. New opportunities await.

The message hit me hard while I was doing yoga. This is not unusual, something about yoga intensifies the connection I have with my Team. Usually my crown or third-eye will light up. I was hit very hard with a realization that something profound was approaching. I remember the realization made me hold my breath because the consideration of “it” made me a bit nervous. It was primarily a feeling so I can’t say what exactly “it” is. Regardless, the message of 11 was reinforced.

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Dream: Organ

I got to sleep in this morning! No interrupted sleep. No Kundalini. Just a nice, restful sleep!

Unfortunately, as soon as I awoke there was not so good news from my husband. Why must my mornings be clouded in such a way? I must take the news in stride. Today is my daughter’s 8th birthday party. It will be a good day!

I had an interesting dream I want to share with you all.

Dream: Organ

I was with a group of teachers and administrators at orientation. Apparently I had taken the position of school counselor. I remember discussing my salary and schedule. There was mention that I would be making $4000/month but only if I agreed to add a class at the end of the day. I agreed, but can’t remember what the class was about nor my title which was a split title between counselor and something else. I recall another teacher listening in and knew she had to work more hours than me but got less pay. It seemed wrong but I didn’t say anything about it.

Then I was receiving the key to my room/office. I remember asking where it would be and pointed to the number 33 on the key ring. The lady who was giving it to me said she had to check the school map and then showed me room 428 or something close to that. I said, “Isn’t that on the 4th floor?” and then realized it was in the high school not the middle school. This was when I recognized my position was full-time and at a high school. For some reason I had not expected this. I didn’t want to work full-time.

I lingered in a room with several other teachers and was shown an old, large organ that had a domed cover on it. It was made of wood and in fairly good condition. I remember that I had requested it for my office because music was very important to me. I opened it up and played some notes, wishing I had kept up with my piano lessons in college. I played a few chords and another teacher requested I play her a song. I told her I couldn’t, that I was out of practice. So I selected some music that was saved on the organ and let it play.

In inspecting the organ further I saw that it had a screen with a list of movies organized alphabetically. I went through several of them and watched as the organ projected them up on a screen in the room. Several teachers stayed to watch as I played several for short periods of time. I never selected one because I didn’t recognize them. Many were Disney cartoons and several were old shows. I remember one was about dinosaurs.

A male teacher requested one and so I attempted to play it but accidentally pushed the “log out” button. The screen shifted to the log-in screen and I realized I did not have the log-in of the previous owner. Uh-oh. How would I ever retrieve the movies or music now?

The male teacher said, “We can just watch Star Wars” and went to a cabinet below the projection screen and opened it up to reveal a TV and DVD player. He popped in the DVD and they began watching one of the Star Wars movies. I remember being beside myself with this new problem of losing everything saved on this organ and never being able to retrieve it.

Behind the Dream

Behind the dream scenes I was struggling and having a conversation with one of my guides about upcoming changes to my life. There was a large bed and I would feel very, very tired and climb into it. I kept putting the pillow over my eyes and recall others trying to get my attention and me feeling too drowsy to give it to them. At one point I climbed into the bed and there was an old man in it who wanted to cuddle with me. I couldn’t stand it because the bed was really horribly hot and uncomfortable. That is when I finally chose to not sleep and discuss the options laid out before me.

Symbolism

The theme of the dream is around my career and choices I have. I have been looking for work but struggling to find anything that I am interested in. There is one job that would suit me well but it is a 30 minute commute from my home and is with students who are part of the alternative education program. My main concern is that I will be back working with kids who are in such a program. The other concern is going back to work full-time. I keep looking at the job but not applying. So the dream is likely me looking over this part of my waking life and discussion my options.

Organs symbolize one’s spiritual connections and religious views. I suspect that this particular organ represents my life path. The movies are representative of my life and indecision because I am not able to choose one. They can also represent life passing one by. The music represents emotions and enjoyment of life. I am able to play some music but feel sad that I had not learned to play more. This is likely my regret of not enjoying life more.

The accidental log-out is likely discussion of the soul exchange phenomena and my concerns about the results of it. I could also be reconsidering it since I accidentally log out.

roach

The feeling when I awoke was an inability to confront some things in my life and I just wanted to return to sleep. There happened to be a baby roach on my ceiling when I woke up. I did not see it as a good sign but when reading about them I realized that this one was affirming my thoughts upon waking. I felt change was coming for me and there was a sadness about it. Roaches symbolize metamorphosis and bring the message that change is coming. They just happen to be part of the beetle family which I wrote about recently. When one sees a roach it likely means they are spending too much time alone or in the shadows. Time to step out into the light.