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My Prediction

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Woke this morning to a memory of what happened last year on this day. My sister was admitted to the hospital with sepsis and an emotional rollercoaster would follow with her near death and continued struggled. Ultimately, she got her new heart valve and now seems back to “normal”, though we all suspect that she is still using Meth based upon the continued bad luck she and her husband continues to have.

For example, they got kicked out of their RV parking spot by the land owners who stole everything they had stored in the land owner’s shed. Then, when they moved to their new spot, the shed next to their RV unexpectedly caught fire and exploded, damaging their RV and incinerating all their belongings inside the shed. So the things they got to replace the previously stolen items were destroyed by the fire. Everyone in our family suspects the fire may have been caused by a meth lab gone wrong because my cousin, my sister’s husband, has been known to do dumb things like that in the past. I have since discarded that idea because police and firefighters were everywhere and no arrests were made.

This morning I reflected briefly on all that happened last year to include the premonitory dream I had that warned of my sister’s admittance to the hospital on Feb 14th. The message was clear from the dream: “This is just a drill”. It leaves me wondering, though, if that was a drill, when will the real event occur because “drill” suggests one is on the horizon?

Spiritual Happenings

Since my last post my dream recall is on the decline. I suspect the spikes in geomagnetic activity were partially the cause of the uptick in activity, at least for me. I have read many articles and posts suggesting some kind of download was happening, but I didn’t receive such a message myself. Instead, my guidance appeared to be working with me more closely and allowing me to recall those interactions in detail. Why? My only guess is they are preparing me for something. What? Well, it is hard to be certain and, as usual, I take what they tell me and “put it on the shelf”. I am always wary of the messages I received because I have been disappointed way too many times by my misinterpretation.

While dream activity wanes, life continues to bring messages. The messages come in unexpected ways and seem to be building upon one another.

At the Office

On my way out of the office on the 12th, I checked in on my BIL. He was sitting at his computer with this far-off look on his face. I waved, he noticed and nodded his head but still looked overly preoccupied. I thought to myself as I went into the bathroom, “[I should] invite him to lunch.” The thought was loud, and I heard two versions of it – one was my own thought and another was not. With it came this feeling from within as if I were receiving instructions. I considered inviting him myself but as I came out of the bathroom the receptionist said my husband was in the car waiting for me.

When I got into the car I told my husband my idea and said, “He looks like he needs a break.” My husband immediately dialed his brother’s number and invited him. He accepted and joined us for lunch.

At lunch I asked my BIL if he was getting any sleep. They just welcomed a new baby girl a few weeks ago. He said he was and we went on to have a nice conversation with our meal. He is normally not very communicative with me but he and I locked eyes several times and I could feel his openness to my invitation to share. I told him it was my idea to invite him because he looked like he needed a break. He thanked me and said he was “bogged down” and then added, “Sometimes you just have to walk away”.

The conversations were positive and we discussed how his wife is like my husband and how he, my BIL, is similar to me. My BIL needs time to himself and is not overly social. I considered that he may be a 2nd line (HD) like me but did not bring this to his attention. He may even be a Projector based upon how he responded to my invitation to share. It was like he experienced a kind of relief at my invitation. 

On my way home I thought about how that “voice” felt and how the invitation to my BIL came about. It was very unusual. The idea of inviting him felt good….joyful. When I wondered to myself, “What happened?” I heard my guides reply with, “You were listening.” ha!

May be a closeup of nature

Take a Walk, Make $20

Later that same day, I decided to go on a walk despite the frigid temperatures and a recent ice storm. I was in a very positive mood, listening to my music and singing as I walked. Yeah, it was cold, but when it is cold in Texas people become scarce which is just how I like it to be! 🙂

As a familiar song played, one that had recently been part of a dream message, I spotted a $20 bill right on the side of the road. It was in a puddle left from the recent thunderstorm. It was totally unexpected and I laughed for a while, especially when two more songs followed behind the first, songs also recently given as a message. The songs were – Lovesong, Collide, and Crash Into Me.

Message: Angel Fly

The next day I felt like meditating in the middle of the day (not usual for me). After about half an hour I began to go into the in-between state and even had fleeting dreams.

Not long after I fell into a vision/dream type scenario. It was both like I was experiencing it as well as observing it. I was walking. A fly flew into my mouth. I had memory of times when I go running and accidentally end up swallowing a bug. There is nothing you can do but cough and think, “Oh well. It’s too late now!” 

Once aware of the vision I heard someone say, “It’s an angel fly.” I thought, “What?” This brought me out of my reverie. I relaxed a bit and fell back into meditating. That’s when I heard, “You won’t know until it happens.” 

I got up after that. The message was clear, though, and I can’t help but wonder what it means. Will something happen and leave me feeling similarly to how I feel when I accidentally swallow a bug while running? Ewww! lol I told my daughter and said, “I think it means that I won’t see it or know it is coming until it happens and then there will be nothing I can do about.” Being it is a fly, it may be a minor annoyance but symbolically flies represent sudden change and transformation. But an angel fly? 

And More Messages

Yesterday morning, I woke and then lingered in bed meditating. A song was going through my head followed by another. First I heard, “Crash into me and I come into you.” Then, I heard, “Where have you been all my life?” repeat over and over again. At the same time, a guide was talking to me. I remember waking up now and again with visuals of finding money in random places. I also remember being told, “He is a Leo” and knowing this guide was discussing a person I would meet soon. My response was that I disliked Leo men because of their selfish tendencies. With this I got a reminder of a previous message, “Fire with Fire.” I somehow knew the meeting was in March and wondered how long it would last. I heard two to three weeks. I asked if this would be the same man I would meet in October and heard, “You will see.” Then there was a flash of a vivid image of a man with dark hair standing in front of me. His eyes were pale, sky blue and so bright they seemed to glow.

My Prediction

Based upon the messages and signs coming through, my guess as to the overall message is something like this:

At some point in the future I will meet someone. My guess is it will be in the Spring (March). The tarot cards I found suggest this person is male, intelligent and visiting for a short time. He might be a fire sign and the meeting with him will be similar to accidentally “swallowing a fly”, meaning I won’t see it coming until it is too late to do anything about it and I may initially be annoyed. I could end up feeling “split” because of this meeting and so experience internal conflict, or a “yes” and “no” tug-of-war inside. The money suggests a streak of “good luck” and the angel fly message implies that the meeting will be helpful in some way. Maybe he is/acts as an “angel” in that he provides me with something I need on my spiritual path? Regardless, I am being asked to “listen” and “follow my joy”. If I do this, I will successfully navigate the experience.

We’ll see if I am right. If not, no biggie. I prefer not to “swallow a fly” anyway. lol

by

Dreams: Lice and Cats

Another dream-filled night! 

Dream: Lice 

I was at work. One of my coworkers was talking to me about a new vendor. This part if very general and hard to recall, though.

Then I was following him home. He had a roommate but they were “just friends”. Inside his home I remember sitting with someone discussing a remedy for head lice (feeling dirty, stress, guilt). Some people were infested while others weren’t. Those who weren’t needed to protect themselves. I saw someone wearing a plastic cap but knew it was risky because they all lived in close proximity.

The woman handed me a tincture. It was a small cup, about 1 tablespoon. It was filled with a pale yellow powdery substance. She dumped it into a teacup full of hot water and asked me to keep an eye out for any lice. I stirred the substance into the water and saw tiny, winged created float to the top. I scooped one out and showed it to her, “Is this one?” She said, “No. It’s much too small. Lice are larger.” I scooped out another and was told the same thing. The fly looked like a tiny gnat (minor annoyances) and I remember trying to remember what lice looked like. They were indeed bigger. 

I recall watching my coworker from a distance. He was sitting outside talking to his roommate and a friend. There was a fire and they were laughing and having a good time. I remember doing the same years ago, when I was in my twenties. I longed to return to those times and wished I could join them, but knew I couldn’t. I recognized that when I was young and socializing, the main reason I did it was to attract a partner. The attention and attraction was what I was after. Nothing else. 

Dream: Feed the Cats

I was at my mom’s house attending a birthday party. I think it was for my daughter but my memory is not clear on that. I remember being outside watching children, all little girls, playing and laughing. Someone pointed out a little girl and asked about her age. I told them she just turned 9yrs old and then corrected myself and said, “No, that’s not right. I’m being silly. She just turned 7.” I remember watching the little girl for a bit, happy to see her happy. She was blonde, like my daughter. 

It was a beautiful, sunny, cloudless day and the air was the perfect temperature. I felt good – no worries and very light as if I had no past and no future, just the present moment. As I walked around I noticed an abundance of cats (the Feminine). There were dozens of them of all colors. In noticing the sheer number of cats, I thought it strange but then not strange because when I was young we did end up with lots of  cats at one point. The cats were following me, meowing and looking up at me. I remember saying to them, “Are you hungry? Do you want me to feed you?” 

When I spoke to the cats they responded and began to gather at my feet in anticipation of being fed. I wondered if anyone had fed them recently as it sure looked like they were starving. 

I looked around for the food container. My mom often kept one outside on the front porch but when I looked for it, it wasn’t there. Then I spotted a container out in the yard and went to check if any food was inside. When I got to the container it resembled one of those red tool boxes with metal latches made of steel. I unlatched it and looked inside. Sure enough, there was food in it, but it was dog food. 

The cats were still around me, gathered around my feet to the point that when I walked I had to be careful not to step on them. I said to them, “Sorry, no food in here.” I walked back towards the house, looking down to avoid cats and noticing the patterns on their fur. Many were tiger striped and one in particular was very distinctive. It’s fur seemed to glow with an orange light and when I looked closer so did its eyes. I thought it very beautiful but at the same time I was cautious because I knew how unpredictable cats can be. 

I climbed up onto the roof (symbolic of me being an HD 6/2 – “on the roof”). The edges came down just above the ground so I just had to step up to get on it. The roof was very steep, an A-frame. I climbed to the top and sat down. It gave me a very good vantage point. I could see all around. As I sat there I think I was singing but I don’t recall this specifically. It is like I was in two places at once – on the roof and watching myself from afar. 

One of the cats who followed me up onto the roof crawled into my lap and sat there. I petted it, still feeling very care-free and happy, looking far off into the distance. I began to scoot down the other side of the roof, careful not to scare the cat whose paws were on my lap. I felt him tense up but he did not grip me with his claws. 

When I got to the ground I somehow ended up inside my mom’s bedroom looking out her window. Outside I could see that a woman had arrived. She had with her some equipment. A man met up with her, greeting her and helping her bring in her things. He was wearing black, leather pants with loops and chains heavy with tools. I remember saying to someone who was with me, “Oh, I see! She’s here because it is getting darker. That’s when she does her work.” 

Somehow I knew this “work” involved communicating with Them, with the stars. This was confirmed when I saw the object the man was carrying. It was made of some kind of light colored metal and was long and tubular like a telescope, only it was much too big to be a telescope. it was about six feet long and two feet in diameter. It had appendages on it and I didn’t see a lens. 

I noticed I could not see the man from the waist up. I didn’t see the woman at all, but I sensed she was there.

I mentioned to my companion this woman’s work but it somehow became my work. I think I asked, “How long does she/I work?” The answer I heard was, “Only part-time.” 

As the dream ended I remember knowing they were headed to the side of the house to “Set up” and work through the night, talking to “the stars”. 

Music Message and Discussion

As I woke, a song was going through my head, “Oh my God, Oh my God, this feeling’s just begun…But I’m frozen in motion and my head tells me to stop.” 

I recognized the dream symbolism was positive and only briefly considered it. Then I said to my guidance, “I realize I do have fear. I am afraid. I am both fascinated and drawn to follow the Call, but I am afraid.” I knew the song represented my struggle – head and heart. My heart says go, my head says no. So I end up “frozen in motion”. 

My reasons for not following the Call are all very reasonable, which makes it that much harder to ignore. I also know that to surrender to it will lead to change, and I am happy where I am. Change isn’t appealing and when the Kundalini is involved there is typically destruction involved. Tear down the old to make way for the New.

Interpretation

The first dream appears to be about my own considerations about life and people. I am confronted with those things that annoy me, things that could easily influence me if I am not careful. The lice represent these things and the tea is symbolic of protection. I am asked to continue to inspect my considerations and keep any eye out for those things which could “infect” me.

The second dream is refreshing, especially in my general mood and acceptance of the cats, which symbolize the Feminine and feminine sexuality. I am not frightened of the cats but I recognize their tendency to be unpredictable so I am cautious. I attempt to feed the cats, which is me recognizing I need to nourish and acknowledge the Feminine. The tool box and later the tools on the man’s pants are symbolic of tools I have at my disposal. Dog food is likely representative of me focusing on protection and fidelity in my life. I nourish that over the Feminine.

The roof is symbolic of my HD profile. I am a 6/2 and as a 6 line specifically, I am currently in the stage where I am an observer. I sit “on the roof” and watch others, learning from my observations in preparation of coming down from the roof.

The last portion of the dream also reminds me of my HD profile, but the 2nd line. As a 2nd line I am happy to be in my own little world but there are windows in the room I occupy. I can see out and others can see in. So in the dream it seems to me I am looking outside my comfortable space, curious about what is going on “out there”.

I observe an aspect of myself in her “work”. She comes in the evenings, while I am sleeping, and communications with Them.

by

OBE and Council of 12

Very busy night of dreams. It felt like I was partially awake the entire night, talking to someone. As a result, I do not feel very rested. 

Lucid to OBE

I remember being partially lucid in a dream with my husband and our daughter. We were on the road near my Mom’s home. I remember meeting my daughter on the road and it being sectioned off and overlaid with a room with translucent walls. My husband had followed me and was attempting to get me to dance with him and was acting openly sexual, touching me and saying things only I should hear. I was concerned that our daughter was close by and would see and hear us, so I kept avoiding his advances, walking away as soon as he got close enough to touch me. I remember feeling the intensity of his sexual desire and that near frantic flow that often comes from him when I refuse him. The obsessive push from him was not attractive and so I pulled away (push-pull) and turned toward the back of the “house”, looking out a window.

This is when I realized I was asleep and immediately took control and jumped out the window, flying up into the air. That familiar pull grabbed hold of me and I accelerated upward with great speed. Knowing I was going up into space and remembering my decision to not resist It after my last OBE, I surrendered and told It, “Take me to my mom’s house. I want to go to Mom’s house.” I focused on where I hoped to end up as I closed my eyes and entered the void.

Slowing down, I was suddenly dropped in front of Mom’s house but much farther away than I intended. My vision turned on vividly and I told It, “Not this far away from her house.” lol 

I flew toward the house, noticing the details of it and my surroundings. I compared the house to the real one, noting the brick color matched but the front entry was not the same. The front porch became like another room itself. It was enclosed and of a light green color. The front door was a bright, velvety red color and very distinct and inviting. 

When I went inside the house was not at all like the one in real life. It was long and rectangular shaped, like a mobile home. The floors were covered in tiny, square, aqua-blue tiles and the walls were a vibrant white. My mom was sitting on a sofa to my left and smiled when she saw me. I marveled at the changes I observed in the home’s appearance as I walked around and took it all in. The odd part was that it was not filled with furniture but with vending machines, some antiques. It appeared they were on display, though they were functional and could be used. 

I continued to explore and recognized the layout was different, too. On my right was the master bedroom and at the other end of the house was another bedroom. I asked, “What about the third bedroom?” but heard no answer. 

I entered the second bedroom and it was very large, with two twin beds with pink covers. The room was messy and very lived in and I immediately thought it was my daughter’s. I mentioned how three people could occupy the room based upon its size. 

I begin to lose lucidity in this part of the dream, caught up in the exploration of this mobile home. I saw a section in the bedroom that looked to be the inside of a factory. It had steam pipes coming out of the floor. It was still a brilliant white, though. I asked about it and was told the third bedroom lay just beyond. I wanted to go investigate but was asked to look at the walk-in closet. 

Inside the closet was very large and also rectangular, extending so far back it could easily be used as a bedroom. I mentioned this to whoever I was talking to (male energy). At the far back of the closet was a door going outside and I could see a fully erect tent big enough for six people set up. As I exited the closet I was thinking the closet must be the third bedroom but the male energy said the lights and a/c were controlled by a switch on the outside. 

On my way out of the large mobile home I was told the third bedroom was in a new, upgraded model and asked if I was interested in purchasing it. I said I would be as I went to explore this third bedroom. When I went inside I don’t remember seeing a bedroom. All I saw was a brilliant white and then my memory stops.

Discussion

When I woke around 4am I remembered that I had been OBE. There was also a feeling of being among a group. The energy was different and I could feel my own energy body responding, specifically around my solar plexus and along my spine. 

Acknowledging those around me, I asked, “Who are you?” I heard back, “We are the 12.” I thought back, “My council?” and felt this was an accurate description. They replied that they were there to assist.

They spoke as One and said, “We want to ask you some questions.” I agree to this and waited. I heard, “Are you ready?” I said, “Is that one of the questions?” They did not answer so I figured it must be. I took a while to answer because I wasn’t sure what they were asking. Ready for what? I felt two answers. One from my human self and one from my High Self. So I said, “Yes and no. One part is (HS) and the other isn’t sure (human self).” 

Then They asked, “What do you want?” My answer to this was, “Freedom.” They didn’t respond and I felt they wanted me to clarify. I shared what freedom meant to me – freedom from this world and physical prison, freedom from expectation. I imagined flying with no limits on what I could do.

They prompted me to focus on this lifetime. If I couldn’t leave this life (which they said is not possible yet), then what did I want? 

At this point I fell back to sleep and entered another dream. 

Dream

I am in a city, somewhere downtown where people go to socialize. I remember sitting at a table with some “friends”, all spiritually minded and similar to myself. I didn’t recognize any of them but we were talking about our individual paths and I remember telling the group, “Anything I start right now will be successful.” What is interesting here is that while I said this I also heard someone telling me this. I heard, “Anything you do right now will be successful” but along with it I heard, “What would you like to do?”

I remember some ideas came to me. I shared them with the group. One was a website which I saw in detail. I don’t know what the website was for, though, it just felt very sophisticated and well planned. I spent quite a bit of time mulling this over with the group. 

Then I remember hearing, “There is only a very narrow window of time.” It felt like I was getting shown my “chart”. It reminded me of astrology, as if the stars were providing me with an opening but this opening would not last very long so I needed to decided what I wanted before this period ended.

Then I was imagining a store – my own business – and this appealed to me. Again, I don’t know what kind of store it was but the part that appealed to me was that I did not have direct involvement in the store’s day-to-day operation. A manager did it for me and I was merely the owner and mostly observed and made general decisions. The feeling from it was pride at my accomplishment and the fact that it provided me the freedom to do whatever I liked. 

Though I felt encouraged to create something new, I had no motivation to do so and told the group, “I like my life as it is.”

This is when an old friend of mine entered. By this time I was sitting alone at a table. She sat across from me. When I saw her she appeared to be a mixture of people I have known in this life, all very close friends of mine. It felt like I hadn’t seen her in a long time. Her energy was very high and I knew she was someone who had no roots. She floated from here to there, never staying in one place very long. She was also into drugs and I knew she was likely intoxicated in that moment. 

I pulled a small, glass container from my pocket. It looked like an essential oils bottle, only about 1oz capacity. I opened the bottled and held it over my tongue. I felt several drops land on my tongue. My friend asked for the bottle. I handed it to her and she took some, too, only much more than was normal. Half the bottle went into her mouth. I mentioned it was a bit too much and she was not concerned. She laughed and jumped up, flitting away like a little bird.

Realizing I had just ingested some kind of drug, I decided it best that I leave before the drug began to take effect. I got up and noticed I was outside in an unfamiliar city. I suddenly had no idea where I was and the parking lot where I thought I had left my car was not there. So I wandered around the streets looking for something familiar, worried and confused.

Eventually, I wandered into an office building of some kind. The dream becomes hazy here but I remember standing at a counter that had a large printer on it. A man was behind the counter. I held up two empty food containers and asked, “Can you recycle this for me?” He seemed not to hear me and walked out a side door to my side of the counter. That is when I saw the door and said, “Oh! I didn’t realize the door was right there.”  

Continued Discussion

When I woke I continued to feel the same feeling as before. It is hard to describe, like a group is gathered close but there is also a pull felt, as if I am being Called, but it is faint. 

A song was going through my head, which I am not sure has any significance. I kept hearing, “Just like the white winged dove….” 

They asked me again what I wanted in regards to this life. The feeling, that Call, was there and so I said that if I had to stay that I wanted to answer that Call. It is magnetic. It Calls out from within me this intense need or desire for…..something. I can’t explain it and I think it has always been there. I don’t know what it wants from me. I just feel it and want nothing more than to surrender to it. 

I was reminded of the friend in my dream. The friend who floated about, unchained and free, intoxicated with Life. They suggested my desire was to be like her, that she IS me. I felt this as true but, I don’t know how to be her. 

by

Found: Another Tarot Card

Today, even though I felt tired and wanted to take a nap, I felt an urge to go on a long walk. So, I traveled the same route as last week. Since I felt urged to go on the walk, I kept an eye out along the way for items that might relay a message, just in case.

On the way back, on the same bridge as last week, I stopped and looked over the bridge. Below me, I noticed a card poking out of a pile of leaves. Just like last time, I couldn’t tell what was on the face of the card. I picked it up and this is what I found:

11 Knight of Coins

I had no idea what this card was. Never seen this deck. So, I Googled it. Found out it is a Spanish playing card deck, La Baraja Espanola, used most often for games and fortune telling.

This card is from the coin suite, the 11 is the Knight (Caballo).

Meaning: Eleven (Caballo) : Traveler. Somebody from afar. Good friend. Intelligent, confident man. The matter at hand.

The card I found last week (6 of Cups or Copas) means this:

Six (Seis): Love. Start of a love affair. Passion.

Six of Cups

The cards are from the same deck. I didn’t search through the leaves to see if the entire deck is there. I figure I can go on a walk next week and see if another one is poking out. lol

Anyway, the message looks to be: Love, Passion and/or the start of a love affair with a traveler/friend from afar who is intelligent and confident.

Here is a link to the site where the information about the deck and card meanings.

If you don’t recall my other post, my finding of playing cards began in December. I found the 6 of Hearts first and so when I found the six of Cups later on, I wondered if the two cards had the same meaning. What I found online said it did, but some friends mentioned it might have an altogether different meaning. I wasn’t sure, but my initial reaction was the second card was a confirmation and reminder of the first card.

January 7th

Finding this card and figuring out the meaning of it and the potential message of the two cards combined, I was reminded of something that happened in January.

From my private journal:

Woke at around 5:30am to a male guide telling me, “You will meet someone in October.” My first thought was that I didn’t want to wait that long. Of course, when I woke I was feeling like I want to exit this life, so the message was likely in response to that. My guidance “hangs carrots” in front of me to keep me going. So being told that I will meet someone in October doesn’t necessarily mean a romance is coming. It could mean anything. 

by

Kundalini Dream: Refrigerated Lockbox

Prior to bed last night, a familiar guide energy came to me. The same energy that has been front and center since around the 20th of January. He asked me, “Can I come in?” At first I was like, “No”, but I already felt the warm, tingly energy building in the center of my back and spreading outward as if hugging me from behind. Recognizing the energy was not threatening, I surrendered to it and said, “Okay.” The energy spread all over and I sank into the bliss of it. So wonderful!

Kundalini Dream: Refrigerated Lockbox

I only remember parts of this dream. There was a house located in the country, quite a distance away from other houses and people, down a long, dirt road. I remember talking to a man who reminded me of someone I knew from high school – my best friend’s older brother. He use to have a massive crush on me but he was quite strange and just not really my type. 

What I recall most is that the man went to this house, knocking on the door. I let him in. 

The house resembled something out of a scary movie. To look at it you would think it must be haunted. It was made of whitewashed wood, had a covered porch, and shutters on the windows. The moonlight illuminated it in such a way that all you would need is some spooky music and you would be worried to go inside. It wasn’t my house or his. It felt like a friend’s house maybe? Hard to say but it was okay for us to be there. I also recall feeling like children frequented the house. 

Inside the house looked normal. Nothing scary but it was still quite dark. The scene mostly centered around what would be for dinner that night. The man opened up the freezer, which looked like a plain, white, square box around the size of a mini-fridge. Inside was a locked, wire box that contained various sweets, mostly ice cream. The man wanted me to let him in to get out some ice cream. Apparently, only I could open the box. I was hesitant. I remember suggesting he make some green beans instead and went looking for a can and a pot to cook them in. I do recall opening the lockbox, though, and sifting through the ice cream bars with him. 

The next thing I remember is seeing the man sitting on a school bus. There were no others on the bus, just him staring at me from near the back of the bus. He looked so young and bright, as if a light were illuminating him from within. His brown hair fell around his face in ringlets, falling just below his jawline, his face was very pale making his dark eyes and eyebrows that much more distinct. I remember saying, “You look so young but I know you are very, very old.” 

For some reason, I remember seeing a vivid image of jar with a lid. The green beans maybe? IDK. I never saw what was inside. In fact, it looked like an empty, glass jar with a metal lid. The lid began to turn slowly, opening.

Then the scene shifted. I have no idea how I got from the house to the bus and from the bus to this new scene. It is like there is a black void in my memory, like I “flash” from one scene to the next.

I was in my bedroom. A man was standing in my doorway. I thought of him as my husband, but he did not look like my husband, but then I never saw his face. He was massive and very tall, towering above me so that when I looked at him my eyes were at his collarbone. I asked him about the situation that led him to me. I don’t remember my exact words but I knew he had been in bed with “my mom” and that it had become too difficult for him to stay in bed with her. She had gotten “too fat” and there wasn’t enough room for him. I remember seeing a visual of a twin-sized bed in a dark room, This man was on the very edge of the bed because “my mom” was sprawled out to the point that he had mere inches of bed space.

The man comes toward me, intent on getting into bed with me. I focus on his feet. He has on large, steel-toed, work boots. I still think of him as my “husband” and am happy that he has come to my bed. 

As he gets closer I begin to anticipate what is coming next. I say, “Sssh! We don’t want to wake her up!” 

The man is naked. What is odd, though, is that his genitals are on his backside, facing away from me and located just above his butt crack. They are upside down, his testicles facing up. He also has no pubic hair and so his “package” resembled an oversized dildo. 

I begin to pull down my pants and underwear but do not take them off. Instead, I pull them down to my shoes. I am also wearing boots. As he climbs into bed I feel a pulling deep within and realize I have not felt that sensation in ages.

The next thing I remember is feeling a pressure up against my pubic bone. In the dream I see a foot pressed up against it. At the same time I feel a long, narrow object pushed into my mouth and down my throat. I, of course, think it is the man’s penis and though it is awkward, I don’t resist it. It goes down my throat to the point that it would normally gag me, but it didn’t. I can feel an energy expanding in my root chakra. At the same time, an energy is forming in my throat.

The energy in my root chakras grows very large and I begin to anticipate the rising of the Kundalini. Sadly, this causes my lucidity to peak and I wake up. 

Conversation

I lay in bed feeling the expansive energy of my root chakra. It just sits there and is wide enough that I feel the edges of it to the middle of my thighs and my entire pubic region to include my spine is engulfed in energy. 

I try to relax and let the energy move up, but it doesn’t get very far. The guide’s energy is with me. I feel him in front of me and I know he is working on my energy body. 

The dream comes to mind and I realize that the symbolism of it is hiding the truth. I Know I gave this guide permission – invited him in. The house seems to be a hidden aspect, something shared by others. The lockbox in the dream that contained the ice cream is representative of that which I have locked others out of. I open it for him in the dream and afterward I see this guide on the bus (important life journey) and know he is much older than he appears. Then again, I see an opening, but this time it is a glass jar (feeling sealed up in life or stuck). The green beans symbolize good relations with others; friendship.

After that we are both in my private space and he has left the bed of my “mom”, who has become so “fat” that it forces him out. The feeling I get is that “mom” is a kind of authority figure and she has “rules” and sets boundaries. My guess is that her being “fat” indicates a kind of complacency in this aspect of me. She is set in her ways and has grown fat and lazy. She doesn’t want to do the “work” needed. The boots we are both wearing indicates that we are doing that “work”, though, and attempting not to “wake” my other aspect. 

The man’s genitals are on his backside and they look unrealistic. My guess is I am seeing some kind of tool being used and they are not genitalia at all. The pressure I feel subsequently is a result of the healing work being done on me by him and maybe Others. It is familiar. I have had many similar dreams in the past where I feel something going down my throat as something is pushed up into my root. Nothing went “up” into my root this time, though. There was just pressure.

I ask this guide who he is. I say, “Are you one of Them?” He replies, “Yes. We are The Many.” I accept this answer because I have been in communication with The Many in the past. They also go by many other names – The Protectors, Elohim, Anunnaki, The Watchers – to name a few. 

There is a conversation here but mostly without words. I have Knowing, mostly. It is just there, instantly. 

I recognize his energy. It has been with me, mostly observing, for a couple of years at least. I remember wondering if he is connected to someone I know, who I recently disconnected from. He replies, “No.” Then he says about that connection, “You know better.” I realize then that he was the guide who met me in an OBE a while ago (2018) and cautioned me about protecting my energy. I told him, “I didn’t know” in response to what happened. It felt like I was extremely vulnerable at the time I met this man and that my interactions with him interrupted something, a process, I was going through. I knew I was picking up where I left off, only maybe a step backward because previous work had to be repeated. 

This guide explains that the reason for his direct approach is because “the only way out is through.” No point in going around the issue/block. He was referring to my past connection who attempted to bypass the block, something this guide said arises from “inexperience.” Straight through with consistent “pressure” was how this guide described the correct approach. I was shown a visual of my energy body and I understood why there was a “probe” of energy inserted via my throat. It creates a kind of current, or suction, that encourages stagnant energy to move. 

As I lingered in the in-between, I could feel warm energy swirling in my root and second chakras. It created a physical ache right below my belly button that subsided after about an hour.

Later, I ask this guide for his name. Before I finish my question, I hear, “Peter.” I accept this and then laugh because I realize it is a joke as memory of the way I see him in the dream comes to mind (penis = Peter). He doesn’t laugh, but I see the connection and humor in it.

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Message: Collision, and Night-Long Dream #2

I couldn’t sleep last night and I was real tired. Not sure what caused it. Maybe the ridiculously warm temps here in Texas? I was in the mid-80’s! It was around midnight when I finally did fall asleep but woke soon after startled from an upsetting dream.

Dream: Collision

I was driving a car along the country roads where I grew up. My daughter was in the passenger side sitting on the edge of the open window. I felt to be in a hurry as she chatted happily about random subjects. 

As we approached a familiar area of road I saw people standing along the side of the road. It appeared they were waiting for the bus. I told my daughter to get down. She asked why and, annoyed, I snapped back, “Because they will see you!” I was more concerned what people would think than of her safety. 

I slowed down as I got closer to the people. A little girl, scarcely a toddler, wandering out into the road in front of me. I slammed on my brakes to avoid her and her mother came out into the road to get her. The woman came to my window and apologized. That is when I saw the road was actually full of all sorts of people milling about. What were they doing wandering in the road so early in the morning? All of the them were wearing light colored clothes and it reminded me of a scene from the show, The 4400. 

Somehow my dog, Monty, got out of the car. I hadn’t even realized he was with us. I jumped out and called him. He was standing in the road, happy to be around all the people. He was so comfortable he lay down in the middle of the road. 

As I went to grab his leash, a vehicle drove through the crowd, ignoring people and….Monty. I watched in horror as the car ran over his head, crushing his snout. I heard him whelp in pain but what was the worst is I saw in detail how his little face was crushed. 

Lesson and Message

The shock and what was running through my mind woke me. I felt panic as I lay there and then knew I would not be falling back to sleep anytime soon because the dream brought of memories of all the pets I’ve lost in my life. I also worried the dream was a premonition. What would I do if something like that happened in real life? I knew I would prefer to avoid it at all costs, like I did when my poor Trooper was put to sleep. I couldn’t confront it so I stayed in the lobby and let the vet take my place by his side. I also refused to see the dead bodies of my other pets after they died. I wondered why I did that.

It was at this point a guide said, “Death isn’t pretty.” It was the same guide energy from the other night. 

As I attempted to return to sleep, I entered the in-between where a word came to mind, “Collision”. It was then I understood the reason for the dream.

On February 3rd, I experienced something unusual as I was driving to work. That morning I had awakened from a night-long dream and the entire day felt odd. For the first time in years I was in “La La Land” as I call it, which indicates my crown is more open than usual. 

A song came on the radio, one I hadn’t heard in years: Collide.

I was waiting at a red light as it played, still off in La La Land, when I noticed a large semi-truck was right on my bumper. I ignored it but then I swear I felt him tap my bumper. I thought, “Did he just hit me?” I wasn’t sure but waved my hand out my window to see what he would do. Not long after he honked his horn and got out of his truck. I thought this meant he did hit me so I got out of my car. I asked, “Did you hit me?” He said, “No.” I checked my bumper and it was fine. So, I got back in my car as the song played, “You and I collide.” I thought it very strange and felt I must have imagined the bumper tap because of the song. But I know I felt him tap my bumper because I felt the car lurch forward! Still in La La Land, I continued on to work, feeling somewhere in-between this world and another.

Later on that same day another song started playing while I was editing a spreadsheet for work. It shifted me into La La Land immediately. It was like someone whispering to me, “Pay attention….”.

The song? Crash Into Me. Yep. 

And now I am hearing, “Collision”. 

From that point on, this guide began to discuss the lesson being presented for inspection. I remembered how it took me 5 years to get a new dog after Trooper died. I didn’t think I would ever get another dog, but I did. This memory was linked to other memories, memories of my other dogs but also of times in my life where I experienced a “collision”. Usually, these collisions were not pleasant and involved death, but not always, at least not actual death. 

Collision = Unexpected change or a life “shake-up”.

My guide asked me to consider what would have happened had I never had my other dogs. What would happen if I didn’t agree to have those relationships that never panned out? 

The whole point was that to experience joy, pleasure, or any other positive emotion, one must open themselves up to the possibility. Take a risk. Open your heart. Be vulnerable. But doing that also opens one up to the potential for great pain and suffering. The pain of loss is difficult to bear and over time some completely close themselves off to things which bring them joy and pleasure in order to avoid the inevitable loss. 

I knew this was true for me.

But I did get another dog in the end, didn’t I? It took me five years but I did despite knowing, at some point, I will lose him, too. Ultimately, I decided that having a loyal companion who loved me unconditionally was worth the pain and loss. I did try to not attach, but I know I have because this dream really upset me.

With human relationships I tend to keep others at a distance. I never fully open up to anyone. I am so very cautious. The minute someone gives me an indication that they are untrustworthy, I shut down completely. I may appear open, but I’m not.

As it is, the only time I completely opened up in this lifetime, my heart got smashed, so why would I open up again and risk that kind of debilitating pain? That was one hell of a collision!

The last thing I remember thinking before falling asleep was considering that it had been five years since my heart connection. It took me five years to forget before I got another dog. Perhaps I have forgotten enough of my past pain that I might open up my heart again? 

As I type this I can’t help but think another “collision” is coming.

Night Long Dream #2

And so I entered into a dream that continued through the night even after waking several times.

The dream began in a restaurant. I was with someone I know from online. I recognized him immediately. As we sat waiting to order I saw a part of him I didn’t know. When the waitress took too long to take our order he was quite vocal about it to the point that others in the restaurant heard him. I just laughed it off, not really embarrassed and knowing it was just part of who he was. Eventually, his eggs came as ordered – sunny side up. They looked raw to me as I arranged his toast on the plate and handed it to him. He ate the food quickly seeming famished. 

I remember knowing an entire story had played out before this scene so I asked my guide, “I want to see what happened.” From this point, I began to recount how this man and I had gotten to the restaurant. 

First, there was memory of making plans to meet up at an airport somewhere. I would fly in from Texas and he would fly in from his state. When we met up, the man no longer looked like his does in this life. Instead, he looked like the man from my previous night-long dream, but younger.

From there, we went to a hotel where we had separate rooms across the hall from each other. The receptionist met us and showed up to our rooms. Again, the man was quite vocal and gruff. He was most definitely a “brute” who wanted things his way and was not afraid to make it known to others when things were not what he wanted.

Inside our rooms we planned our day. I remember he was talking very loudly and putting up a front as this very strong, masculine man who had no weaknesses. But I knew him better than that so every time he was loud to the point that it would put someone off and scare them away, I laughed it off and said something to soothe him. He would then smile. It was like we had own our little secret world.

Throughout the dream I kept waking up and returning to sleep. I was aware that I was still talking to my guide and that my considerations were directing the dream. 

In one part of the dream we were preparing to head back home. I remember waiting in a lobby, maybe at the airport, where I filled a water bottle. I also remember visiting a restaurant. It felt like the man was constantly talking loudly while I remained happily silent and calm. He had lots of complaints but I took none seriously. 

In the last part of the dream I remember the man looked like my heart connection. I remember taking an earlier flight home than was previously agreed upon but he didn’t know it. I arrived home and hours later received a text from him saying his plane had landed. I told him I was already there, waiting. He asked how and I said I caught an earlier flight, one at 11am while his left at 3pm.

Interpretation

The feeling from the dream is that I was being shown relationships I have had in this lifetime and how they are linked to other lifetimes. I recognized all the men. The first man in the restaurant was behaving like a previous version of himself. He was quite brazen, bold and outspoken. He did not care if he hurt other peoples’ feelings. He was use to getting what he wanted. 

An alternate version of the man appeared in most of the dream. He was a younger version of the man in my dream from Feb 3. Our connection revealed itself as special, at least in that we knew each other well enough that I did not take his demanding behavior personally. I easily calmed him and there was an unspoken understanding between us. 

It seems that the shifting of the appearance of the man was there to indicate that all masculines are One. They may take on different forms and personalities and live different lives, but in essence they are the same energy. This has been discussed with me in the past, it has just been many years now.

Like the last night-long dream, it seems this guide is attempting to get me to open up and reconsider a past decision. He denies this when I ask, though, saying instead, “I am here to help”.

The last thing I remember hearing is me saying to him, “I will live a normal life.” I’m not sure what kind of “normal”, maybe my kind of “normal”, because this life has been anything but normal! 

Image source – http://www.nasa.gov

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Dream: Driving a Bus and Music Messages

Busy night. I had a night-long dream. One of those the continues even after waking up and seems to have a story-like feel to it. It wasn’t too vivid, though, so pieces are missing from my memory now that I am fully awake and starting my day.

Dream: Driving a Bus

The beginning is hazy but I remember ending up driving a school bus despite not really wanting to. Someone or something created the need for this. The need resulted from my partner being taken in another bus. I was to follow behind in my bus. I remember driving on the highway and taking sharp turns to get to a location out in the country. The feeling along the way was that I was being pushed in this direction as if by a momentum or pressure from a group. I don’t remember anyone being on the bus with me, though, just that a guide or energy was next to me. 

There is a brief memory of seeing my partner at the location when I arrived but he was being kept separate from me and was always off in the distance. I could see him but I couldn’t get to him. 

At some point my group began to materialize. I remember seeing faces but can’t recall them now. I do feel my family in physical reality was part of this group, especially my children. 

We were taken to a location where a movie was being filmed. The location was chosen for the specific architecture. It reminded me of an archeological dig site in the middle east or fertile crescent area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. There were partially uncovered walls from ancient buildings. These walls were uncovered enough that one could walk through the buildings. The walls were about knee to waist high. Below the old buildings and down some stairs was a busy highway. It was quite loud from all the passing cars and traffic. I remember thinking it an odd choice to shoot a movie scene.

I watched as everyone arrived on set. An older man stood out from the crowd. I knew he was the producer of the movie. He was short, had a protruding belly and gray hair. He was also quite hairy because I remember seeing hair poking through the collar of his shirt. His arms were also quite hairy. All the hair was graying. He felt to be of a different origin than myself. Grecian maybe? Like someone I would have seen on an ancient coin or old painting of someone from long ago.

There was a backstory going on at the same time but I don’t remember it enough to recount it here. While this story was being filmed I found myself inside a very large, king-sized bed next to the man and I felt others were in the bed also but never saw them. I remember talking to the man about the shoot location. How were they going to filter out all the noise from passing traffic? He said they would mute the sound and then fill it in later.

Towards the end of the dream I became very conscious of the man being close to me in this huge bed. He was pointing out a tree growing inside one of the houses on the hill where the filming was taking place. The tree was fairly short and squat, like something that would grow in an arid climate. It reminded me of an olive tree. Its branches were twisted and gnarled and it had tiny leaves growing on it. I could see all of this in my mind’s eye as if through a window.

The man wrapped his legs around me. I could feel his body hair up against my body and wondered if he was naked. Then I remember someone asking me, “Are you naked?” I didn’t know. I remember saying, “I just got a new sweater.” In my mind’s eye I saw a very comfortable, baby blue sweater. 

I began to gain lucidity at this time because I recognized that the sweater represented protection and to be naked represented trust and openness. For some reason I did not trust this man but I knew there was no reason not to.

The man brought my attention back to the tree. He said they selected the location for the film for a very specific reason. As I looked at the tree I noticed it was covered in faces, the faces of cats and kittens. I thought it very strange but answered the man with, “Oh! I see!” and said something about how rare such trees were. The faces on it began to move as if alive.

The last thing I remember was being in bed with this man. He was on my right facing away from me laying on his side. I felt his legs reach back and hook through my own, pulling me up close to him so that we were spooning. I remember him asking if I wanted to connect with him. I said it was okay. This is when I saw a visual of my sweater coming off as if being told that trust was needed.

This is when I woke up but entered into the in-between where the man and I continued to communicate.

Discussion

What was said was intermixed with various songs and visuals which makes it hard to relay the conversation word-for-word. What I remember most was being asked to reconsider a decision that was made. I was asked what I felt more than once and why I felt the way I did. I don’t recall really understanding some of the feelings I contacted nor the reasons I felt them. I do remember that part of the discussion was in my decision to limit Kundalini connections and interactions to dreamtime. It felt like I was being told that I had moved past that stage and now needed to take what I’d learned and apply it to physical reality. 

Whoever I was talking to was asking permission to contact me and as this was happening songs came into my mind. Just parts of them, though. 

The song first was Lovesong and “I will always love you” was repeated with the melody as messages were coming through. It was more telepathic, though, full of feeling. The only words I recall came from the song.

I kept trying to leave the conversation as I was mostly awake by this time, but a feeling kept saying, “Don’t go” and so I lingered in bed and continued to receive communication. Each time I wanted to end off, a song would come to mind. The lyrics I heard came from the song, More Than You Know – “I just need to get it off my chest, yeah more than you know, yeah more than you know….”.

Dream Interpretation

A school bus is indicative of a life lesson. The fact that I am driving the bus shows that I am in control and directing the lesson while others follow in my lead. The split from a partner in this case indicates a split from a decision, lesson or path that involved a partner. I feel pressured to return to this lesson by an unknown energy to my left and ultimately pursue the other bus and my partner. There isn’t really a resistance to the request but I feel pressure.

The setting of the movie feels like I am being shown something from my past. It would have been in a location from long ago, likely in the fertile crescent. The archeological dig indicates this past has been partially revealed but only the foundations remain. The man in the dream, or the producer, is unfamiliar to me and this part of the dream feels to be a communication from him to me. 

The king-sized bed could be an indicator that I am lucid. Beds, for me, are my safe place. They are comfortable and cozy. I go to my bed for privacy, peace and relaxation. Beds can indicate avoidance of something, also. The fact that this man is in bed with me indicates he is able to penetrate my defenses. He is with me in my safe place. The sweater I am wearing indicates I am not fully open to this, though, and he is since he is naked. He is facing away from me which I feel is him communicating to me that he is not a threat. The fact that I allow him to intertwine his legs with mine indicates I am partially open to him occupying my space.  The visual I see of my sweater taken off is a communication from him. I am being asked to trust. I don’t do this in the dream but I do remember being confused as to whether I am naked or not. I can’t tell.

The trees with cat faces is unusual. Trees are about the cycle of life, knowledge, and wisdom. This tree is short, gnarled and obviously very old. Cats in my dreams tend to symbolize the feminine, feminine sexuality and the Kundalini energy. Often in my dreams they are annoyances to me, rubbing up against my leg or showing up in strange places where I am unable to avoid them. I’ve had dreams where an entire hoard of cats was pursuing me on a mountain top and I was trying to get away but was overcome by them. I’ve also had dreams where a cat was dying or sick, but those a rare. I’ve never seen cat faces on a tree, though. My best guess is that the cat faced tree represents feminine wisdom and growth. The cat faces are like fruits on the tree, so perhaps a cycle of life or lifetimes has matured, produced fruit and is ripe for the picking? 

I do know that a part of me wanted to linger in the in-between this morning. I felt pulled toward the in-between, similar to how how I felt when I was made to drive the bus in my dream. 

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OBE: Laser Beam

Before bed last night, I was watching, Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind – Contact Has Begun. I didn’t finish but had just started Part 3. If you haven’t seen it, check it out. I wasn’t very inclined toward the content in Part 1, but Part 2 got my attention.

I’m pretty sure the film impacted my dreams and early morning OBE.

Dream: Planter

I was standing in knee-high flood waters (strong, turbulent emotion). The water was frothy and brown. It churned around me and then subsided.

I walked through a mess of items that was left behind. Trash, mostly. Ahead of me I saw my sister and realized I was at the spot where her RV home was located. She was walking about picking up items. She came up to me and told me she was trying to get Mom to buy her a planter (hope for the future). I thought it a ridiculous idea considering her current state and suggested she use one of the many pieces of junk laying around. I even showed her how, giving her several examples of items she could use.

I noticed she was already using items as planters for various cactuses (mistrust, isolation). Some of them looked sickly. I told her she might consider using an old cooler, one with wheels. This gave me another idea and I suggested she use a small wagon.

Somehow I ended up going to “the house”, which I assume was located nearby but I don’t remember how I got to it. It was very nice and had so many rooms that there was no way just one family could occupy it. I spoke to someone about this as I walked through a living area.

A woman was with me and showed me to a child’s room. It was full of all kinds of items. The woman suggested giving the items to my daughter (child aspect). “Do you think she would like this room?” I said, “Yes! She would LOVE this room!” I explored some of the shelves and one was full of tiny, glass figurines. I remember thinking she might struggle to keep the figurines organized. I, myself, would have loved the room as a girl.

Then I realized I needed to go to the bathroom ( seeking relief) and excused myself to go find one. I ended up going through a very heavy, steel door. When I turned around to latch it I had to really put all my bodyweight into the door to move it in place and latch it closed.

The bathroom itself was not a normal one. It had a very nice sitting area with sofas and a big table. To my right was a full kitchen. The walls were made of bricks and I couldn’t see a toilet anywhere. I went to search the hall behind the kitchen when I heard someone push open the heavy, steel door.

Surprised they got in even though I had locked it, I went to investigate. When I saw two men and a woman standing there I said in an annoyed tone, “Why are you in here!? I locked the door!” One of the men, who looked a lot like my uncle, said something in a harsh tone. It was something like, “Why do you always have to be like this?” I suddenly felt very ashamed but in defense of myself I said, “I had to use the bathroom.” But the feeling of shame lingered and I wondered to myself, “Why do I always act this way?” I could feel a heavy energy forming in my core. It moved upward quickly and I began to sob.

I woke up crying and a little confused. I was upset because the way I acted in the dream is so typical of my life. I end up confused afterward wondering, “Why did I do that?” It feels like I have no control over the things I do and say sometimes. Like someone else is doing it! What is that about?

A guide was close and encouraging. It felt like he wanted me to look.

Memory

A memory came to me, one from many years ago during my first year in college. I was working as a waitress in the town where I graduated even though my college was about 30 minutes away. I had worked there since high school and they asked me to help because they were short staffed. I ended up being the top waitress and so often ended up giving orders to the other waitress, most of which were in high school.

One waitress in particular resented the fact that I told her what to do. I remember asking her to clean the bathroom, checking her work, and seeing she had done nothing despite saying she had cleaned it. I called her on it, she confessed and back talked me, but went back and cleaned it with me watching.

A few days later I was going out to my car. I had recently gotten it as a gift from my Mom. Some of the waitresses were standing near it. The bitter one walked away smirking. At my car, one of the waitresses told me the bitter one had keyed my car. Sure enough the back of car had a long, deep mark on it.

I went to the owner and told him about it. He confronted the waitress and she confessed and he made her apologize. I demanded more be done, but he refused. I wanted him to fire her. My Mom contacted the girl’s mom and tried to get compensation for the damage but nothing ever materialized. I felt so betrayed by the owner that I quit very soon after. I didn’t want to work at a place that condoned childish behavior.

This memory was long ago discarded but now it was back. I realized I was being shown the memory because I had missed something. So I inspected how I had treated the girl and my reaction. I also considered the girl’s perspective and my boss’s.

Ultimately, I realized the girl’s family was likely very poor. I also knew my boss only hired girls who needed the job – for various reasons, he was kind-hearted. He was also short-staffed so would not want to fire someone for something they did off shift.

My tendencies when I was young were I to act without thinking. I often came across to others as unyielding and harsh. I am and always have been blunt and tend to speak my mind. I don’t often consider how others might receive me. I most definitely did not give this girl any respect and treated her like a child, scolding her for trying to avoid doing her job. Yet, when I considered her background, I sympathized for her. She was young and inexperienced. She saw my car as something expensive (it wasn’t but to her it was). She wanted me to feel what she felt and the only thing she knew to do was key my car. In the end, I could care less. I didn’t buy that car, my Mom did. I ended up trading it in on a much better one later. And that poor girl would likely have to work three times as hard as me to get a car like that!

But, honestly, she was not a good worker. She was lazy and idle, preferring to chat with her “friends” (they ratted her out) and linger in the kitchen. She often ignored her tables and I had to take up the slack. When I called her out, she couldn’t handle it.

In the end, though, I recognized that everyone in this memory was me. I treat myself harshly. I also forgive and give second chances, like my boss. All of it, every single part of the memory, was me. And my response to my guide’s questioning energy was understanding of this fact.

So how then do I explain feeling unable to control my response to others? I realized I behaved just as I was meant to. I may not know the full reasoning but it will be clear at some point.

OBE: Laser Beam

I became aware of hearing a radio playing in my room. The sound became very loud to the point that I knew what I was hearing were noises-off. I kept peeling away from my sleeping body to see the source of the music. I could see an alarm clock far across the room and had a “memory” of messing with the controls. I thought it must have gone off like it does sometimes when I push the sleep button on accident.

When I lay back down in my sleeping body is when I realized, 1. I was not in my bedroom but in one from my past. 2. I was already OOB because I could feel my astral body shift off my sleeping one when I moved. Because it all felt so real, I sat there contemplating whether I should test my theory. Eventually, I just sat up and floated out of my sleeping body and landed by the side of the bed near the open bedroom door.

My vision was shifty and dark indicating I was likely in a lower portion of the astral. I walked up to the front door and held my hands in front of my face to try and see them. I saw nothing but still said, “Clarity now” but I knew it wouldn’t work this time.

I flew outside where it was also dark. I couldn’t figure out if it was my vision that was turned off or if it was really dark. I felt my astral body pulled upward and said to whoever was in control, “Not so fast” and “No, I don’t want to go too high (meaning space).” I attempted to see below and occasionally got a glimpse of tree branches with newly sprouted, bright green leaves. At another time I saw the starry sky overhead in such detail it was surprising.

I’m not sure why I was resistant to the pull but I kept asking someone – “It” – to keep me fairly low to the ground. I did not want to go “to space” which is where I felt “It” wanted to take me.

Ultimately, this struggle brought me back to my sleeping body but I did not leave the astral. Instead, I made my way back outside. I don’t remember much of this trip except that I began to sing at the top of my lungs. This cleared my vision to the point that I realized it was indeed dark outside. I was able to see the area around my Mom’s house and flew around as I sang. I don’t remember what I was singing but I do know I was using my singing voice to talk to “It”, that powerful force that was still attempting to take me “up there”.

At one point I spotted a solid black pickup truck parked by the house. I was still singing and remember saying something to “It” about the truck. I wanted to see someone inside and had hoped I could manifest them, but it was empty. So, I picked up the truck and carried it with me up into the sky. It had no weight at all and for some reason I liked having it close to me. Eventually, the truck’s windows became black like the rest of the vehicle and it took on an unfamiliar shape. It was elongated with rounded corners and I was extremely shiny to the point that if I wasn’t looking for it, I wouldn’t have seen it. It would have blended in with the night; become invisible.

I grew bored of flying and wanted more interaction. This brought me back to my body once again. This time, though, I was talking to “It” when I heard a loud bang. I jumped and went to the window where the noise originated. To my surprise I saw someone outside facing me. I couldn’t tell who it was at first because the blinds were in the way. Looking more closely I recognized the person. I thought, “It’s my daughter!” I banged on the window in response and saw her smile and laugh. She had been trying to scare me.

I quickly flew to the front door and outside to meet her. We hugged like we hadn’t seen each other in a long time. I asked her, “How did you get here?” She pointed to a vehicle parked at the end of the sidewalk. I saw a dark colored SUV. The passenger window was rolled down.

Excited to have my daughter with me, I urged her to come flying with me. I flew up to the treetops. From that vantage point the full moon was visible. It was low in the sky and extremely oversized; massive. It wasn’t white but had a yellow tinge and the “face” of the moon was quite distinct. Excited, I yelled, “Look! It’s the full moon!” It took my breath away and so I figured it would also interest my daughter. It didn’t. She went her own way.

Realizing I was now alone, I went down to the waiting vehicle to see who had brought my daughter to me. I peered inside and saw two young Hispanic girls. The one in the driver’s seat had a small child in her lap. I said, “Oh, you have a baby!” and then corrected myself, “No, a child, with you.” In the back seat were more children. They had blankets and were not sitting in the seat but snuggling together behind the driver’s seat. I said to them, ‘You should put on your seatbelts.” The driver said, “We will.”

That’s when I noticed something odd. The two older girls had very large guns with them. They were black and I saw no distinguishing marks but I assumed they were machine guns by their size. I said, “You have guns?” They didn’t look concerned so I reached toward the gun the passenger was holding. She handed it to me barrel first and it was heavy and cold in my hand. Feeling the weight of it I said, “Woah.” I knew it was dangerous to take the gun barrel first but she didn’t even flinch.

I wondered if it was loaded so turned away from the car and aimed the gun at the darkness beyond. When I fired it did not make any noise. Instead, a green dot appeared in the distance. It was fairly large and just hovered there. I questioned the girl, “This is a flare gun?” She nodded her head. I asked who it was for. She said, “Protectors. They will come now.” In my mind I envisioned an army of armed men in black would be coming soon but knew that was inaccurate. I didn’t know if I should be worried or not, so stood there watching the green light. It wasn’t fading and was very obvious in the darkness.

The last thing I recall is seeing two Rottweilers intertwined, curled up together as if sleeping but their faces indicated they were on alert. Their positioning reminded me of the Yin-Yang symbol.

I returned to my sleeping body and lingered there for a while. My body was uncomfortable. My left arm a bit numb. So I settled into my body, moved my arm and opened my eyes.

Part of a song repeated in my head, “Don’t you worry child, heaven’s got a plan for you.”

Considerations

The movie I was watching was on my mind as I fell asleep. I was talking to one of my guides throughout the movie. I was curious about CE-5, the method/project used to make contact. I thought about trying it but realized I had no interest in getting the E.T. to materialize for me. They already did, back in 1989. They seem to come to me without me asking or calling them. In fact, I think the guides I speak to are Them.

The last portion of my OBE reflects what I watched. The green light, specifically, is like the laser pointers used to point out the craft in the night sky. Like other OBEs, the “force” I feel pulling me was present, but this time, rather than assume that force was me, it felt to be an Other. I also did not want to go “up” despite knowing from previous experience that it often means I will be taken to extraordinary places.

I did ask to resume Contact, which could mean anything, really. I never initiated Contact to begin with and would never ask Them to come display themselves as proof they exist. I already Believe and have reached what the participants of CE-5 are seeking on my own. Yet, I do feel They have more to teach me. All I can do is ask Them to show me what I need. And it appears I needed to be reminded that we are all One, as per my first dream.

Next time I plan to just go “up there” when they start tugging on my astral body. I already know what happens. I speed up to the point I can’t imagine going any faster. I lose my astral vision, enter the void, and “blink” to a new location.

by

6 of Cups…6 of Hearts?

Today it is beautiful in Texas. Sunny, 65 degrees, with a light breeze. The energy was expansive. Yes. Expansive. That’s how it feels to me, anyway.

Some pictures of my walk to give you an idea of what “expansive” feels like. 🙂

I wish I had taken more pics today but I was too busy feeling it all. I sat by the creek for a bit, listening, breathing and feeling. It was nice and there weren’t very many people out, not that it would’ve mattered.

I ended up walking for over an hour. 4 miles in all! Ha!

Messages

Okay, so now for the interesting part of my walk. I wrote a while back about finding items on my walks, items I seemed to actually manifest with my thoughts. I found a tube of unopened Chapstick first, then some Apple earbuds (also new) and finally two, twenty dollar bills (yep!). Eventually, I couldn’t think of anything physical I wanted to manifest so I asked the Universe to show me what I needed to know. One of the first things I came across was a playing card in the grass. 6 of Hearts.

On December 18th I wrote this on Facebook (not sure why I didn’t post it here)”:

Remember when I kept finding things on my walks? I didn’t stop attempting to manifest stuff, I just lost interest in material things. I actually asked to be given or shown what was needed. Usually I don’t find any items but that very day I saw a playing card on the side of the road – the 6 of Hearts. I have walked past it every day, taking note of it, but never really looking any deeper into the meaning. Today I saw it again, didn’t pick it up and forgot about it until just now.

Here is the meaning:

It represents the masculine.
It can be an unmarried male romantic partner, family member or friend, always loved by the sitter.
It is often considered the Soulmate card – past lives/karmic.
It can represent communion, knowledge, study and learning.

That was over a month ago and nearly forgotten, until today.

Within the first half-mile of my walk, I saw another card, this time face down, laying in a pile of leaves and rubble that had built up on the bridge I was walking over. At first I walked past it. I was singing along to a song and just feeling really joyful, playful and happy. I was contemplating dancing as I walked, but didn’t because it was a busy road. But despite continuing on I felt an urge to turn back and pick it up. I had to.

Never would I have believed it to be what it was.

That ain’t no playing card!! That’s a tarot card! WTF!?

I can’t remember now if it was right side up or not. I don’t think it even matters. When I saw it I thought, “6 of…..cups?” I mean, those are odd looking cups but then what else could they be?

I tucked the card in my pocket and went on my merry way.

When I got a bit further on my walk I encountered a single, black crow on the path in front of me. I stopped. It stopped. We stared at each other for a bit. I grabbed my phone, fumbled around trying to get it into camera mode, and as I began to aim to take a pic it flew up in the air, cawing at me and joined another crow off to my left.

I continued to my walk, taking note of the crow but not really knowing what to think.

When I got home I pulled the card out of my pocket and examined it. Yep. A tarot card. Definitely NOT a coincidence that I found it.

6 of Cups Message

First off, the 6 of Cups has the same meaning as the 6 of Hearts. I only discovered this after a Google search. I don’t know much about traditional tarot decks (i.e. Rider-Waite) so bear with me. I read tarot using my intuition and rarely read the book descriptions. Unfortunately, looking at the image on the card I found does nothing for my intuition. I thought the cups were crowns, though, so maybe a good sign? lol

Since I wasn’t asking a question and just randomly found the card on my walk, many explanations for the card meaning don’t apply. So, the standard, one card meaning would be something like this:

The Six of Cups in the upright position is a card of pleasures. This card tells about good times and generally remind us of good times, but it could tell about happy times that are just around the corner, those that will turn into amazing new memories.

It is the card of indulgence, periods without any serious problems and reasons to worry.

As this is the card related to ancestry, it could be a sign of a great family gathering, about getting in touch with relatives you haven’t heard from for ages or, even, meeting distant relatives you did not know you have.

For those more inclined towards the psychic, this card could be a sign from the ancestors or make one pay attention to the signs along the road, for those might be messages from ancestors.

Source

What I found is that everyone has a slightly different explanation of the card. Some call it the “soulmate” card. Others the “pleasures” card.

What I am wondering is, why am I seeing this card again? If it is indeed the same as the 6 of Hearts, that is, and that is what I am finding.

Alternative Names:  Six of Cups, Six of Hearts     

All Tarot decks call this suit “Cups.”

The Thoth Tarot titles the Six of Cups as “Pleasure.” 

The Voyager Tarot titles the Six of Cups as “Sorrow.”      

In a deck of regular playing cards this suit is called “Hearts”

Source

Then there is the crow. They are not very common around here and mostly they are in the trees making lots of noise, not sitting alone on the path I am walking. Most definitely not something to disregard.

The Crow (no, not the movie! lol)

It is not a bad omen like most might assume. It can be considered the “trickster” though, meaning it can shape shift and take on any form it chooses in order to pass on its message. And messages are its specialty. When a crow crosses your path it is there to pass on a message. Most of the time that message is something previously known or received by the recipient. It is a sign to the recipient saying, “You know what to do.” Of course, part of the mystery of the crow is in the message because in order to understand it, you must first Know yourself!

Key words:

Creative Force

Transformation

Alchemy

Quick-Wittedness

Daring

Ethics

Honor

Overcoming Fear

Ancestral Magic

Mischief

Working with the “Shadow Self”

Source

So, if I am understanding Crow’s message right, it is to remind me of the tarot card message. AND being I am seeing this card for the second time now, I must not be truly grokking its meaning! Ugh!

What did I miss? Or… is something still in process where I thought conclusion had occurred?

by

Dream: E.T. Message “The Alarm Will Go Off.”

So much has been going on since I last posted. The motivated and free-flowing feeling I had in my last post continues and seems to be growing. Yet there still remains with it a feeling that I need to go with the flow and not take action unless appropriate in the moment.

During my days I have been smiling frequently and listening to music I normally would not listen to. The music is upbeat, mostly dance and pop music by more recent artists. I find myself dancing to the music as I work at my computer. My body seems to want to move on its own and I can’t help but burst into a huge grin and go with it. I find myself listening to music more often, too. I like to take long walks and listen to the same music, singing along while I walk. No telling who has heard me and thought me odd but I don’t care!

In the evenings I feel to be not alone so much so that I can’t help but wonder what is going on. Often I feel this unreal sorta feeling, like I am between time, not here nor there. When I get like this it feels like a part of me is communicating with someone, but I can’t quite catch what is being said.

Last night, before bed I got this feeling that someone (Spirit?) was close by. There was a presence directly in front of me that felt to be asking for my attention. I acknowledged it and continued to watch my show, which just happened to be about NDEs. As I watched the show I was filled with K energy that originated from around my lower back and spread throughout my body. It was a warm, comforting energy that wrapped around me, filled me and then just stayed with me while I watched my show. It felt like I was being asked to pay attention as if a message was forthcoming. My dreams appear to support this.

Dream: Two Doors 

I was at work. It was not the building where I normally work (symbolic of my life path) but reminded me of an old, downtown building with multiple floors. I sat at a long, rectangular table with coworkers I didn’t recognize. I was bored and feeling somewhat out of place. I can’t recall what everyone was discussing but it was something to do with preparations and updates to the business. 

At one point I remember holding in my hand a large, balloon type object. For some reason, in my boredom, I began to press myself against it and felt my root chakra activate. It seemed like I was just trying to keep myself occupied during my boredom because the feeling I had the whole time is that I didn’t want to be there and didn’t belong there. 

Eventually I opted to leave. As I walked toward the door I looked at people who walked past me. I realized there was nothing I could do to help them. They didn’t even see me. They were asleep. The expressions on their faces told me they were focused. They were all “workers” (HD Generating types). I remember thinking, “I’m not like them. I’m not a worker.” 

A woman who reminded me of someone I know, was playing with her baby and son. She had rolled her baby to one end of a space and was going to retrieve her son. It was some kind of game where she took them back and forth between spots along a designated path. Back and forth, over and over, repetitively (symbolic of cycles repeating). 

I saw the exit (option to change path) ahead and walked toward it. I went through the door that led to the building’s main entrance/exit. When I reached the area where the door to the outside should’ve been, there were two older people standing there, confused. Someone had renovated the space so that the door was moved. Now there were two doors instead of one. One was up a short set of stairs to the right and another was to the left on the ground floor. I somehow knew the door up the stairs was to another place and time. It felt like a dimensional portal. The other door went to city streets similar to somewhere in New York City and to the present time and world. 

I opted to take the door up the stairs. When I opened the door I was suddenly floating in the air up high above a vast landscape. The land below was riddled with brilliant white crystal shards. They glowed and it reminded me of the movie The Dark Crystal. The land itself was almost barren. It looked like an explosion had occurred there. I immediately knew the crystal shards needed to be reunited and felt that a part of myself went to work doing this. I watched a man float about and take pieces of the crystal and heal the land by touching the pieces to various parts. In one such instance I watched him touch a piece of crystal to the ground and a white, glowing liquid flowed out of it into the land. Eventually the man shoved the largest piece of the crystal into the heart of the land which was some distance away at the lowest point. When he did this, the landscape transformed immediately into a beautiful paradise with lush, rolling green plains, tall, snow capped mountains and vast river systems. There was color everywhere and it was fantastically beautiful. I had a feeling of awe and knew that I had chosen the correct door. 

Dream: E.T. Message

I can’t recall the parts leading up to the end of this dream, which is disappointing, but the part I do recall is likely the most important anyway. 

I was standing with a group of people and my attention went to this small, floating, silver disc. The people with me didn’t see it, though. I recognized it was a E.T. craft and so spoke to it. I asked it, “Who are you? Why are you here?” 

The craft seemed to be able to communicate with me via telepathy. There was a visual as I received a message of an up and coming “test”. I saw test materials – a pencil and paper among other things. My attention turned to a timer sitting next to the paper and pencil. It looked like one of those kitchen timers – round, red, with a white clock face. I remember hearing “the timer will go off” or “the alarm will go off” and then something would happen, something like an explosion or event of some kind. I replied that I wasn’t worried about the test and knew I would pass it because I had passed it many times before.

By this time, the silver disc was no longer part of my dream experience. I had entered into the in-between.

As I lingered in the in-between I remember catching myself talking to someone as if I was trying to summarize something I had been told. I said, “So, I will be split into two”. This brought me to full awareness and out of my reverie. 

Afterward, I wondered about the E.T. portion of the dream. It has been so long since I had any E.T. contact. But was it E.T. contact? And what did the messages mean? What would this “alarm” be? So odd!

Other Considerations

I can’t help but notice that in the first dream I was thinking of those around me as “workers” and thought of Human Design and the Generating types of the world, which compose more than 70% of the population. They are “the workers”, they are here to “respond”. Lately in my daily life, I have been recognizing that I cannot help them if they don’t want my help, if they don’t ask for my help. If I try, they won’t hear me and will likely be irritated by anything and everything I say to try and help. So in the dream, as in my life, I just want to get out of the space they occupy. Why would I want to be where I’m not wanted or acknowledged for what I have to offer?

The dream itself seems to be a reflection of how I have been feeling in general lately. Bored. Unseen. Unacknowledged. Of course, I am also feeling joyful and carefree, but behind that I still have this restless energy that wants to do something, to be of assistance to others. Yet, I observe all around me people doing what that woman was doing in the dream. They are going back and forth, repeating patterns, unaware and happy to remain so. I realize there is nothing I can do to help them. I would love to find an exit to another world like I did in the dream, a world where I can make a difference, where I am seen. And I think, in a way, that is exactly what I am doing when I turn on my music and dance. I am going to another world, my own world, one where I can make a difference even if no one else notices.

That is the beauty in being a 2nd line (HD). We dance to the beat of our own drum. The creator of HD says 2nd line Hermits are there on the first floor of the house (1st lines are in the basement), dancing to the beat of their own drum. They are happy to remain alone in their little worlds. In fact, their motto is “Leave me alone!” lol The windows are open, however, and others can see inside. They are curious, drawn to the 2nd line/Hermit because they see in them something they desire. They know the 2nd line knows something they do not. Others come knocking, asking the 2nd line to let them in but we often ignore their knocks because, mostly, we just don’t want to be bothered. lol It takes someone very special to draw us out of our “caves”. Someone or something, VERY special.

Maybe the “alarm” from the message in my second dream is what it will take to get my attention? Who knows, but for now I am happy to be dancing in my own little world for a while. I am happy there being left alone. It would take quite a bit of ruckus for me to stop my dancing and answer the call, that is for sure!

Featured Image from The Definitive Book of Human Design, the house analogy of the lines of the hexagram (HD personality profiles).