Category Archives: Dreams

by

E.T. Dream: Scheduled Extraction

Woke at 3:30am from this dream. 

Dream: Scheduled Extraction

I don’t recall where I was in the beginning. It was like I was moving through a dark tunnel, though. I recall talking to someone, a woman, but I think there may have been others with us also. The topic of discussion was about E.T.’s who had been observing Earth for a long time and had decided it was time to extract a number of the inhabitants (humans). 

The visuals I received are what are most vivid to me in my memory. 

I saw lighted orbs (ships) streaming down across the planet and landing in the oceans. They were small, only large enough to carry one person, some smaller. With this scene I was told the ships were cloaked/invisible and could not be detected.

I saw a human-looking E.T. exit one of the ships. I exclaimed, “You look just like us!” In fact, I wouldn’t have thought of them as E.T.’s at all they looked so similar. I received confirmation that they did look like us and was reminded that they are us – “We are You”. 

In the next visual, I saw a human entering one of these ships. The human stood in the center on a platform and then was engulfed in an energetic protective barrier. The orb returned to space with the human inside in the same manner in which it arrived – very fast and undetected.

Then I became more aware of my surroundings in the dream. I was traveling in a vehicle (car?) with a woman who appeared to be driving. I couldn’t see anything outside the vehicle. I remember receiving information about when the extraction would occur. I seemed to Know it already, though, because I Remembered it. Two dates come to mind now, though I can’t be sure on their accuracy. The first is 2080 and the second is 2025. I seemed more interested in the latter and interrupted my woman companion to correct her date of 2080 saying, “But it begins in 2025.” I also Knew (was told?) that this kind of event was not singular – it has happened before and not just once. 

There was a word that came to mind that I resisted, but I don’t think they’re use of it implied anything negative: Harvesting. It was explained to me that some humans were “ripe” in that they had evolved to the point of relocation. In this sense, the word “harvest” makes more sense than the more negative interpretation that we humans have of being selected for consumption in some way. 

I did not take any of this information badly. If anything, I was excited. I told my female companion, “It’s good that I’m here with you. I will need to network with others in preparation.” She replied, with no emotion whatsoever, “There is no need for that.” She telepathically replied that any “network” I built would not be part of the extraction and of no real use to me. This made me pause as I absorbed all that I was being told.

Then I was once again in a black void. A male companion was with me this time. I was asking questions about the transport vehicle I saw in my previous visions – the orb ship. Again I was shown a visual, this time a view looking down on the earth from space. The orb vehicle was very visible – a bright yellow, glowing ball of energy. I couldn’t see a passenger inside.

It was explained how the vehicle worked. The individual stood or sat inside on a small platform. A crinkled looking metal substance that resembled paper tin foil was shown to me. It could’ve been what the platform was made of but I’m not certain. It was explained that vibration was key to the operation of the ship. The vibration transformed the foil into a solid wall which protected the passenger yet the “wall” resembled energy. not a solid structure. 

This was explained as I saw a visual of the orb heading towards earth. I remember saying, “Like Starman!”, thinking of the movie by the same name.

More was explained about how the vibration worked. I can’t remember the specifics now but at the time it made total sense to me. I believed it transformed solid matter into energy. Now that I think of it, it could’ve been that they were explaining what happened to the passenger because one of the things that made no sense to me was the size of the orb. It seemed to shrink as it accelerated, down to a size too small for a human to occupy.

I woke suddenly and lay in my bed wondering about my dream for a while.

Considerations

I haven’t had a dream that has sparked my interest like this in a long while. The information seemed so familiar to me in the dream, like, “Oh yeah! I remember now!” The previous extractions felt normal as did the up and coming one. It didn’t feel like a bad thing at all. I was excited about it. 

Whether the dream is a premonition of actual events or symbolic of an up and coming shift, I can’t be certain. My best guess would be the latter – that the dream is symbolic of a transformative experience only some will go through. 

What bothers me about dreams like this is that the “events” I am forewarned of only pertain to a select few. It is a common theme and not only one that I pick up on. I’ve seen it from many other sources. 

I can’t help but think of other times in Earth’s history when these extractions have occurred. Is this why entire populations seemed to just “vanish”? I’ve had other dreams that suggest there is truth to this. Some were dreams of me reliving memories of similar events. 

The E.T.’s in my dream were very human-looking, I have no doubt of that. It was amazing to me how similar they looked even in the dream. The explanation was that they were just like me. There was no further explanation except that I seemed to Remember that we came from the same genetic material – like we were “seeded” or planted here to be observed and then extracted when we had matured. In this sense, we are indeed harvested. 

Where will we go? I have no idea now but in the dream I was shown “space” (out in the distance) and it was enough to satisfy my curiosity. I had no misgivings, no feeling of doubt. I trusted Them entirely. 

by

Lucid Dream: Meeting Klaus

Prior to bed last night I was thinking about something the teacher said in my Rave ABC class about Reflectors and some Projectors (those like me whose split charts have no centers defined). She said that their experience of life is surprise. Nothing turns out as expected, so they are always surprised by what life brings them. I thought to myself, “Not me. My inner voice tells me what is going to happen!” As normal, I got a reply to my thought. It asked, “Do you know what is going to happen now?” I thought about how all of this Knowing seemed to have gone silent recently and said, “No. I don’t know and that’s okay.” 

My mind wandered to our recent RV purchase. We tried it out this weekend because my husband couldn’t wait to use it. We stayed at my mom’s without hookups on a very cold night and it was not very enjoyable. The next day we went to the lake, which was much better, though I was very tired and developed a headache.

An internal dialogue commenced about the RV – Was it a good idea? What will become of it? Will it be used as I intended or will my husband take it over? 

I got an inquiry from within, as if saying, “Do you want to know?” I answered that I didn’t care and would accept the outcome regardless. I laughed at my reply because the HD Analyst had told me my life experience was a continual not-Knowing followed by moments of clarity/Knowing only to return to not-Knowing. 

I slept amazingly well last night and had an unexpected lucid moment and opportunity to go OOB.  

Lucid Dream: Meeting Klaus

I don’t know what was happening before I became lucid. I just became lucid all of a sudden.

Standing in front of me was a tall, thin man with blonde hair, blonde stubble on his face, and blue eyes. He seemed friendly and familiar. It felt like he had called me there because when he approached he had something to tell me. I decided to ask him, “What’s your name?” He said something like, “Tiff” (it started with a T) and I said, “Okay.” I remember being very pleased with myself for remembering to ask him his name. He then invited me to go with him. I assumed he meant traveling OOB as I was quite lucid and knew I was in the perfect state to do so. I said, “Sorry, I’m just too tired.” 

Accepting my answer he told me, “You have 433 [days] left.” When he said this, though, I was anticipating what he was saying and was thinking, “Hours, minutes, days, months….” I don’t know if he actually said “days”, it could have been me deciding that was what he meant. I also thought he was indicating how much time I had left to live, but afterward doubted this and decided it was more like a countdown to some event or life change. Regardless, I didn’t overthink the message, knowing that all too often I get cryptic messages from random people or guides while lucid. 433 days from now is March 27, 2023.

More lucid than I was before, I suddenly knew who the man was and asked him, “Wait, I know who you are. We’ve met several times. You’re Klaus!” He smiled and replied with, “Yes. We have met before and will meet again.” I asked, ” Why did you give me a different name?” I then remembered/heard, “We have many names”, and repeated that to him. He said, “Yes, We do.”

He had a distinct German or Nordic accent and I realized when I said “Klaus” that I said it with a similar accent. 

I hugged him and reached up to kiss him. In that moment I was really happy that I was getting to see him again and felt a connection to him. I wanted to initiate an energetic merge, but he pulled away and said something like “Not now” or “This isn’t the time for that”. His words were more of a telepathic feeling. I didn’t feel upset at the “rejection” but accepted that he was not there for that purpose. 

More was said but my lucidity dropped quickly and I moved into a dream scene.

Dream: Mongoose-Eating Cats

In this dream I continued to talk to Klaus as the dream story unfolded.

I was traveling along the road leading to my mom’s house, a road I am very familiar with in this life as I have traveled it numerous time. In fact, I was just on it Sunday. My mode of travel was flying. I moved fast, hovering as if a ball of energy. The sensation of it was very much familiar and I enjoyed moving in this way.

I saw debris littering various portions of the road. There were rectangular boxes full of supplies that had spilled out onto the road. I didn’t look close, preferring to look ahead. I saw a red car on the corner. It’s front end up crumpled up as if it had hit something very hard. I looked inside but no one was there. I couldn’t find what the car hit and briefly wondered what happened.

Another car pulled up and a man and a woman were inside. One was holding a piece of paper in his hands and I knew they were the occupants of the wrecked car. I decided to leave and fly towards my mom’s house.

Along the way I saw more debris. It looked like someone had just dumped their living room furniture in the middle of the road. Traffic was coming towards me and I decided to flash my headlights (I wasn’t in a car so not sure how I did this). None noticed and I figured they would be forced to slow to avoid the debris. One vehicle, a small bulldozer, did slow. I remember telling it to be careful. I recall seeing a set of empty book shelves standing in the road.

When I got to my mom’s house it looked different. It was more like a greenhouse than a house, with glass panels covering all sides and the roof. Inside were many house cats and another woman, my mom I think.

There were also these little ferret-looking creatures that were very playful and active. Many of these creatures had babies and I picked them up and cuddled with them. My mom showed one of her cats a baby and the cat hissed and tried to bite it. We decided to keep the cats away.

I went into the main house. Inside was no furniture and a very spacious layout. Where furniture should’ve been were potted plants placed strategically in a grid pattern on the carpet. There were more cats inside as I walked through looking at all the greenery. 

When I went back outside I saw the baby ferret creatures were playing near the front entrance where they entered through a cat door. A cat lounged nearby, barely noticing them. I asked my mom about the danger, suddenly recalling the name of the animals: Mongoose. She said the cats wouldn’t hurt the them.

Then I noticed tiny, white feet with no bodies littering the area. They looked like cat feet but I saw them as baby mongoose feet. I imagined the cat eating everything but the feet. I was horrified and grabbed a cat sleeping nearby and pushed it out the window. Then I saw where the kill must have happened, a wet area of concrete, and pointed it out to my mom. Just as I did this, a sprinkler located in the ground turned on and sprayed me hard in the face. My mom laughed. I woke up. 

When I woke up, the first thing on my mind was that the wet spot in the concrete was not a kill site at all but a sign that water was present. I thought, “I should’ve known that would happen.”

Dream Interpretation

It seems like the wreck and furniture along the road to my mom’s house is symbolic of some “impact” that results in an emptying of the contents of the home (life path/journey). In this case the contents appear to be tools (life strategy) and empty bookshelves (place to hold knowledge). The home has a greenhouse (place of growth) and is full of cats (divine feminine, feminine sexuality). The baby mongoose (playful, mischievous tendencies) is eaten by the cat (feminine sexuality). The inside of the house is empty except for plants (strategic growth). This aligns with the furniture on the road.

The dream in its entirety feels like I am being shown a future potentiality, though I don’t really know what to make of it. My mom’s house has transformed in the dream to a place of growth, full of cats and mongoose. This could indicate the two become one, in that the cat consumes/integrates the mongoose. My “mom” may be a wiser version of me, or could be my actual mom. My best guess is mom = my wiser or higher self. 

Whatever the dream indicates will happen it is certain that it will be a shock or surprise, one that pulls me out of my seriousness and catches my attention. This is indicated at the end of the dream where I am caught off-guard by a sprinkler spraying me in the face.

by

Spirit Visits, Lucid Dreams, Remote Viewing and Kundalini

I’ve been having some unusual experiences, incidents that I haven’t had in many, many years. It’s as if my spiritual abilities, seemingly dormant for years, are waking up again.

For example, I’ve had Spirit visit me quite a bit this week. First, my husband’s ex boss told me, “I love you” out of the blue and soon after I dreamed of his wife, also deceased. Then a coworker’s family member in Spirit visited me and let me know she was assisting his recently deceased grandmother. I knew she was the deceased’s daughter (his aunt). She wanted me to tell him, to bring it up and ease his mind, and I replied back, “What do you want me to do? Just go up to him and say, ‘By the way, I talk to dead people and your grandmother’s daughter is assisting her?’ LOL I think that was the day of the funeral, too.

There have been other weird things. Just two nights ago I was checking on my son and I heard, quite clearly, my husband’s voice saying something he often says when playing with our boys. The thing is, he is in California on business. It was midnight and no one was awake but I did check to make sure a video wasn’t playing somewhere. Nothing. It freaked me out. My husband is traveling in very snowy conditions so at first I worried he was in trouble. Eventually, though, I concluded I had picked up on a “imprint”. An imprint is like a “stamp” on the environment caused by high emotion, often repeated over time. Imprints have no life of their own but are often confused as ghosts. In this case, it was a positive imprint.

I later confirmed my husband is in fact okay. 😉

Along with all of the above, I keep seeing things that are not there (or at least not in this reality). Usually I think I see one of my children and even say things to them only to find there is no one there. One time I thought I saw my deceased dog, Trooper!

Then there are the dream experiences. So many dreams! Last night was no exception but had an added twist.

Lucid Dream: Mosquito House

I entered into the dream scene. I was going to visit a family who are connected to my husband in real life. It was very dark as I flew towards my destination. Someone was telling me about the house ahead. It was just the outer parts, no insides, with a good, solid door. I asked why anyone would build a home like this and was told it was to “keep out the mosquitoes”.

Ahead I saw the house. It was one story, brick and had a full sized garage. I could also see inside, as if I had x-ray vision, and it was indeed completely empty.

I shifted into the house with just a thought. Inside it was very hard to see but I could make out the members of the family. I don’t recall interacting with them, just watching and talking about them with my companion (guide). The family is an odd sort in real life. They have opted to live out in the middle of nowhere New Mexico, off the grid, with no indoor plumbing. Their kids are homeschooled. Funny enough, they do use devices. The wife has an online business and the kids use computers for school. The husband does odd jobs in construction and slowly pieced together their home on his parent’s land.

I remember commenting to my companion how everything (the house, the scene) fit the family perfectly based upon what I know about them.  

As I walked through the empty space chatting with my companion, I recall being bitten over and over by mosquitoes (minor annoyances) and thinking the house wasn’t working to keep them out. I asked my companion about this and he said they weren’t bothering him and to ignore them. It was at this point that I became lucid, pulling my blankets, both physically and in the dream, over my head to keep the mosquitoes off me. 

No longer interested in the family or the house, I walked towards the entrance to leave. There were various aquariums set up near the door. They were lit up and I could see the fish inside. I remember pulling them over, one by one, just for fun because it was not something I would do in real life. The room slowly began to fill with water and I laughed as I splashed and dove into the water, swimming with the fish.

The water level got so high it spilled out through the window and I went with it. I could see the night sky and burst up into it in full flight, soaring as high as I could go, feeling absolutely free.

Lucid Dream: Slingshot Powerlines

I returned to my body several times and then went back into lucid dreams. I was heavy with sleep and energy, so it was difficult to gain full control of the dreams when I returned. I seemed happy to follow along for the most part but would get bored and leave the dream to explore. This is what happened in this dream.

I was in a warehouse in an Asian country and knew I had sent gifts to people there. I flew into a room and landed in front of an Asian couple who had received their gift. As they opened it they asked me if they could keep the items inside. I said yes, of course, but they hesitated in disbelief because one was a very expensive wi-fi speaker. 

I lingered around, flying through the warehouse. Like in my last dream, I could see through the outer walls and into the spaces just with a thought. It looked like a factory and it didn’t take long for me to grow bored of the place. Like in the other dream, everything was dark but in this one I could see well.

In my boredom, I went to explore. I flew out a window and up into the sky but got caught in some powerlines. There were rows and rows of them and they were not letting me pass. I got the idea to use them as a slingshot and positioned myself on top of them. With my mind, I pulled myself back and the powerlines acted like rubber bands. I pulled myself back several times until I knew I had enough distance to sling myself really far.

After three or so times of stretching the lines to their limit, I let go and was propelled into the sky and up into space. It was thrilling and I didn’t close my eyes or get afraid like I often do when I head into space. What I recall the most is the exhilaration of moving at such a high speed while watching the stars the entire time. They didn’t streak or change shape. They just shone brilliantly and brightly. All of the sensations became so real that I shifted back into my body, still feeling as if I was moving.

Kundalini

When I returned to my body I was covered in energy and it was difficult to not be lulled back into dreamtime by it. The energy was most noticeable in my solar plexus. It felt like a tube of energy going completely through me right below my ribcage. As I lingered in the amazing comfort of it, I had the visual of a bright light shooting out of my midsection like a spotlight. 

I focused on my breathing to just enjoy the experience but would instantly shift elsewhere. I had to fight to stay in my body and was conversing with my guide the whole time. I had instances where I knew I was seeing other people’s experiences but I didn’t know if they were other people’s dreams or just snapshots of their waking lives. 

In one instance I know I saw a little girl in the hospital receiving treatment for cancer. I witnessed the doctor reading through her medical notes and was able to see them clearly and read through them. All I remember now, despite repeating what I read to myself over and over, was that she had cancer and she was 9 years old. The other instances I saw are a blur to me now, but were similar, as if I were hovering in the corner of the room spying on people.

I fought this. I wanted to be present in my body, but it was not happening. Instead it seemed I was in full remote viewing mode and I began to realize this most acutely when I flew through my own house inspecting various objects and my own children sleeping in their beds. I remember thinking, “If only I had someone to confirm what I am seeing.”

The remote viewing came as a result of what I was talking with my guide about. He was asking me what I would like to do. It was clear that for some reason I was being given the opportunity to utilize my astral body to do things I normally would not. I couldn’t think of anything I was interested in doing. I remember replying, “I want to feel the Kundalini.” My guide laughed and said, “You are.” I realized then that he was correct. I just wasn’t feeling the Kundalini as intensely as I had hoped (as in up through my crown full rising). So, I told him, “I want to help people.” In response, the energy in my solar plexus intensified and other areas responded in kind – my chest and my head especially. I felt like my entire Being was a blazing Light.

The feeling of being this Light was comforting and I kept being carried away by it into remote viewing mode (or something like it). Even when I changed positions in bed the energy kept blazing through me and I would shift OOB so frequently that I began to lose track of whether I was in physical reality or elsewhere. The cool part is that I shifted out of my body via the center of my body. So, I had no racing heart or other bothersome sensations. The sensation of it was awesome. So fluid and natural.

One vivid recollection is of talking to my ex-husband for a moment. He was laying on his back looking up at me. He seemed quite young but he was full of regret and sadness. Though we didn’t speak aloud about what was bothering him, I knew why he was sad and why I was there. I said to him, “I did love you, just not as much as you loved me and I’m sorry for that.” I could feel his anguish and knew that his past with me still haunted him sometimes. When I told him “I did love you” I could sense his questioning. He didn’t understand why I would leave and wondered what he did wrong, and that was what kept him bound to the past. 

Despite the amazing energy and wanting to linger in it for the rest of the day, I made myself get up. When I stood up, my body felt oddly limber and refreshed. I felt wonderful!

by

Lucid Dream: Build Something

Woke around 6am. A major thunderstorm with thunder that shook the house, bright lightning and intense rain woke me. Somehow I was able to ignore it and go back to sleep.

Lucid Dream: Plum Tree

I was in a small house in a living room. It was very dimly lit but I could make out the furniture and who was there with me. On a sofa sat my BIL and SIL and my SIL’s mother who passed some time ago from cancer. The older woman was passed out while the other two were sitting quietly together. 

The old woman woke up and said, “I need a cup of coffee (awareness).” She got up and left to get it. I laughed, remembering how this woman use to always have a cup of coffee with her – and a cigarette. Flashes of memory came to me and I wondered briefly if this habit of hers was what led to her death. Probably. I also recognized that coffee = awareness.

I spoke to my BIL and SIL, telling them what I just witnessed. I said, “Remember the old sofa in the living room? The pink one? That was the one she use to sit in all the time. Remember?” They seemed not to even notice me, what I was saying, or that the woman had been there. I tried to get them to look around and be more aware but they just stared, faced blank. 

I walked toward the front door saying aloud, “I know. You’re asleep and have no idea you’re dreaming.” When I said this I became very lucid, instantly knowing I was in a dream.

The front door was beckoning to me. I could see rays of light coming through the cracks in the door. I opened it as my SIL, who was now my older sister, came up to me and said, “I’m not dreaming.” I looked at her, barely noticing the shift in personas and said, motioning to the open door, “Look! It’s light out. Let’s go outside.”

Outside was a huge tree, branches heavy with mango-sized, purple fruits. The trees branches were so heavy they nearly touched the ground. I reached up and touched one. I thought of it as a “plum” (youth, vitality, strength). It was very ripe. My sister grabbed one immediately, plucking it from the tree and holding it in her hand. I saw it was a bit overripe, its skin wrinkled like a raisin (loss of youth and vitality). I said something about finding a better one and began to look. The branches moved higher and I couldn’t reach most of the fruit. Finally, I grabbed one and picked it. It was smaller than the others but perfectly ripe. Someone (my sister?) asked me if I knew how to eat it. I inspected the dark purple flesh and said, “Yes.” I thought of peeling away the skin but never took a bite because a sudden wave of energy wrapped itself around me, pulling me to my sleeping body.

Note: A few days ago while I was working from home, I heard someone in Spirit say, “I love you.” I stopped and listened, feeling a warm energy in my spine. I asked, “Who is this?” I heard back the name of my husband’s old boss. The reason this is relevant is because the woman in the above dream was his wife. At the time I wondered, “Why would he say that to me?” I realize now it is because, though he didn’t seem to in life, he does love me.

Lucid Dream: Build Something

When I returned to my body I easily transitioned back to the dreamstate, this time fully lucid. At first I wasn’t sure I was in a dream it felt so real and purposefully returned to my body to test whether I was asleep or not. The energy that resulted confirmed I was indeed asleep. I could feel my physical body. I “touched” my body briefly and then shifted my awareness back to the dreamstate.

I found myself in my mom’s kitchen, a place I often end up when I go OOB or have lucid dreams. The first parts of the lucid experience are lost to me now, probably because I spent them going back and forth between my body and the dream. I shifted at least three times. I don’t know why I did this, really. At times it seemed like I was purposefully pulling myself back and then another “force” would return me back to the lucid dream. Moments would pass and this would occur again, as if I was playing tug-o-war with myself. lol

Finally staying in the dream, I stood in front of the backdoor that leads to the porch and the pool area. Like in the previous dream, it was very dimly lit and hard to see yet there were beams of light streaming through the closed door inviting me to open it. 

As I opened the door I remember thinking, “I’m going to see it when it was a room and not a porch.” Memories of the room were on my mind along with the timeframe which was the late 90’s when my ex-husband rented the room for a while. 

Sure enough, when I opened the door the old room came into view just as I remembered it. The light was very dim, though, so all I could see were shadows of it. I remembering knowing the dim light was because I didn’t trust my memory.

A familiar ball of energy approached me and I instantly knew it was my deceased dog, Trooper. Thrilled, I reached down and petted him, enjoying his energy and pleased to know he was happy. He circled me energetically and I remember calling him by name. It was hard to see my old friend clearly, which I really wanted. I said something to try and bring light to the room but it never appeared. This perplexed me.

Suddenly, a man appeared, walking right through the closed back door to the room. I couldn’t make out his features at all but I knew he was male. He seemed to flow as if he were made of energy; not solid at all yet solid at times. If I hadn’t been aware that I was dreaming, I would’ve thought him a ghost. He stopped about two feet in front of me, and said, “Come with me. I want to show you something.” 

I desperately wanted to make out his features but couldn’t. In my memory his face looks like a blur. I just know he had short, brown hair.

The man turned and exited the door, which was now wide open. Brilliant light poured in through the opening making the dimly lit room where I stood seem all the darker. I didn’t hesitate to follow the man into the light. Trooper flew out the door ahead of me, running around the yard excitedly. As I walked down the steps I called him, “Monty”, which is my current dog’s name. I corrected myself in my mind, saying, “No, Trooper”, noting that, to me, their energy was similar and so the “mistake” was understandable.

The man had disappeared around the corner but I somehow knew he was over by the pool. When I looked, sure enough he was standing at a table by the lounge chairs. I walked up to him and he smiled, more solid now and easier to track. He stood over a table that was covered with random objects – square sheets of shiny metal lay in a pile. He held one up to me and motioned down at the other items on the table. I could see white plastic items alongside bolts, screws and other supplies. The metal he held in his hand was very thin but extremely shiny. It confused me, though, and I wondered what the man was up to.

He took a bowl in his hand and walked to the edge of the pool. He tossed small, white pellets into the pool. I thought, “Chlorine” (clarity). The man turned and walked back to the table, looking at me expectantly. What did he want?

I hesitated and stared at the man and the scene. Who was he? I suspected if I got closer that I would experience an energetic attraction to him. I didn’t feel anything off the man but I sensed he was “tempting” me. I don’t know if it was with his energy, the items, or both. Or perhaps I was sensing his call – an “invitation”? 

There was a knowing that if I stood there focusing too long, I would return to my body. Part of me wanted this, though. I wanted to run away.

The man, still holding the metal sheet in his hands, held the metal out to me and asked, “Want to build something [with me]?” 

That was it. I was outta there. LOL

Conversation

When I returned to my body it was with effort because there was a pull to return to the dream. Somehow I won out and stayed put but the man in the dream remained in my peripheral. Was he a guide? His energy was not threatening. If anything he felt amused.

I found myself in the in-between seated at the table by the pool. The items were all gone but the man stood across from me. Again he was difficult to make out; a ghost. 

The man said to me, “You came here for a reason.” The feeling I got from him came with memory, memory that was overwhelmingly hard to resist, but I rejected it. I replied that it felt like I was done, that there was nothing left for me to do here anymore.

Memory came of something that happened a couple of nights ago while I was at our company Christmas party. An employee who had been taking care of his grandmother was present at the party. Surprised to see him, I asked him how she was. He said she had died. His answer had the effect of immediate sadness in me and my heart began to hurt. I tried to hold back my tears but they escaped despite my efforts. He was very straight faced and seemingly unaffected but I knew he was in pain. He told me that he would grieve later, that life must go on. I wiped the corners of my eyes but could feel my face getting hotter. This always happens when I get emotional.  

The memory seemed significant. I wondered briefly if the meditation I’d been doing had succeeded in opening my heart.

Pulled back to the conversation, I asked this “guide” what he meant when he asked me “want to build something?” The response he gave was received as if my own thought. He was asking me to “create” what I want in life, but also to allow the creative energy to flow and be who I am meant to be. He was telling me he would help me. 

I told him I feel “dead” and wish only to feel “alive” again but I don’t know how. I heard the word “build” while he said aloud, “Let the pieces show you what they want to become.” I saw the pieces on the table floating up and coming together as he said this. I understood. 

by

Lucid Dream and OBE: Open Book

I woke early at around 6am, feeling well rested and alert. I decided to do some energy work but must have fallen asleep during the process. The last thing I recall is speaking with a guide and asking, “Why am I still here?”

Lucid Dream: Line Dance

There was a whole regular dream before I became lucid involving me wearing a yellow bikini which I had slept in from the previous day. lol I then went into my mom’s kitchen to find a mess in the sink that included lots of utensils. I began washing the dishes. There were strange utensils that looked like potato mashers but they had these large, circular coils on top. In questioning what was prepared with them, I concluded that my mom had awakened very, very early in the morning and had prepared a breakfast of crepes. She then went outside and began planting seeds for a garden in her flowerbeds. I saw her entire morning from above, as if spying on her. 

Somehow I ended up in a darkened space sitting at a strange table that was less than a table’s normal height. All around me were people whose features were hard to see because of the dim lighting. We all sat on cushions at the table and the people spoke a foreign language I could understand despite it sounding like gibberish. I remember talking, asking questions but I’m not sure what I asked now. The closer I looked at the people, the more lucid I became, until I realized I was dreaming. 

At some point I was climbing over the table and across to stand over the group. I knew I was among people from India and also that we were at some kind of celebration. There was a book on the table and I had been looking through it. The words were in English and I could focus on the pages and read it without issue. The content is lost to me now because my attention shifted to what everyone was wearing. They had on red vests with gold embroidery and decoration. It was very elaborate and both males and females wore the same style. I ended up asking, “What’s with the costumes?” A man pointed at me and I looked down, noticing I, too, was wearing a gold embroidered red vest. 

By this point everyone was standing up and positioned in rows. There were more people than I could count. Rows upon rows all moving in sync, as if flowing with music, but no music could be heard. Somehow I knew they were dancing a line dance and I laughed as I faced them all, watching them move their arms in sweeping motions across the fronts of their bodies. The man indicated that they were imitating me, I was leading the dance, so I jumped a bit and so did they. I laughed out loud, giddy at the energy of the group and my ability to affect their movements. Still facing them, I moved and they moved and I had a suspicion that this “dance” was symbolic of something and had memory of very early dreams that involved Hindu ceremonies. The Kundalini came to mind briefly and my lucidity peaked quickly because of it.

OBE: Open Book

I shifted back into my body. My heart was pounding and I knew the reason I rarely go OOB these days is because of the strain on my physical body. This had been explained to me in the past but only recently had it become obvious that my physical heart did not like it.

Rather than get up out of my body when I exited, I lay in bed and just intended to shift out. When I shifted, I returned to the darkened room where I had been but all the people were gone. I could feel my bed around me and just rested there feeling into the amazing energy and in awe of how real it all felt. I pulled my hands through my hair, feeling my head and the hardness of my skull. I massaged my head for a while. The more I did this, the more physically real everything felt. It was probably the most solid I’ve felt OOB in a long time!

Eventually I opted to get up OOB and felt the subtle shift. I stood again on the tables of the room. A young man was speaking and a book opened up before me. As the man spoke, words appeared on the brilliant white pages. I read headings that indicated he was a teacher. One passage said, “I can be 19 if you want.” Curious, I looked closer and saw the rest – “I’m 15 but….” Putting it altogether I laughed and said the entire sentence aloud. I then asked the man, “Can you be 35?”

The book indicated that he worked with “children” and I saw the number 9. I skimmed through several pages, seeming to look for something.

Despite knowing that focusing too much on reading could pull me back to my body, I took the risk. It was too obvious that I was meant to read what was in the book. When I focused, the words on the book jumped around as is usual when I read something in astral, but I was able to read a substantial portion of the book. Of course, it is all lost to me now. I find it interesting how my human mind just cannot digest what I read while in astral. It is total gibberish in my memory except for those things I read that I repeat aloud. 

The memory of what I read is limited but it seems like the young man was a guide/teacher and he wished to introduce himself to me. The feeling I got was that he enjoyed working with “children” of all ages and was willing to help me in whatever way he could. There was a sense that he was specifically interested in the work I’ve been doing on myself – pranayama, microcosmic orbit. Sadly, I don’t remember much of it now as the focusing on the book did what I thought and I eventually was pulled back into my body. 

When I re-entered I did not feel my heart pounding. The re-entry was smooth and the energy of my astral body felt like a huge ball of consciousness that poured seamlessly back into my physical body.

Interpretation

The lucid dream appears to be pointing me in the direction of the Kundalini again. The Hindu/Indian feel of it, the “costume”, the ceremonial feel, and the “dance”. Overall, the dream felt very positive, like I was being encouraged to continue my exploration of the energy.

The OBE could be an answer as well, pointing to my children. Though the man could very well be one of my guides, it feels more like he was relaying to me that I am a guide to my children, teaching them and assisting them as they grow into adulthood.

When I woke there was a song going through my head but I don’t remember it now. It confirmed, though, that my lucid dream and OBE were meant to encourage me.

by

Kundalini Dream, OBE, and Message

Happy Halloween! I hear the energies are intense today – solar flares? The only evidence I have of this intensity is from dreamtime. Happy to share. 🙂

Kundalini Dream: 1 Year

I was in a familiar dream location. It consisted of two home about 100 feet apart connected by a narrow walkway. The homes were round, hut-like buildings with thatched roofs, small windows and stone flooring. I only recall snippets of the other dreams I’ve had there, but apparently it is a place I frequent at times. 

Inside the hut on the left was myself and two others, a man and a woman. I felt like their child and the woman was talking to me about preparations. The specifics of these preparations are lost to me except for the symbolism, which, to me, is pretty obvious. The man stepped forward and it was clear to me that he and I were to be “paired”. Uncertain, I questioned the pairing because I knew this man was my “uncle”. The woman explained that it was time and urged me to accept, which I finally did. I recall her encouraging me to go with the man whose hand was held out to me. Though I don’t remember the man’s appearance specifically, he was wearing a long, tan robe with a thick, colored sash at his waist. I took his hand but hesitated, looking around me as my lucidity began to increase.

The woman was insistent. She physically pushed me forward toward the man and said, “We must hurry. The entire process is a long one. It will take a year before any eggs are produced.” It was odd to hear the word “egg”. In that moment, I saw a bunch of chickens pecking around at my feet and wondered if I was one since how else would I become a producer of “eggs”? 

The man’s hand in my own and my decision clear, I went with him. I could feel his hand in my own and a familiar, strong energy began to swirl in my root chakra. The upward pull of the desire that was kindled there woke me and as I lingered in bed, the energy remained creating an ache within to go “up, up, up!”

Symbolism

I sat with the energy as the dream symbolism became clearer. Two circular huts = masculine and feminine. Man and woman = masculine and feminine. Uncle = soul family. The pairing = Union. Eggs = new, unhatched potential; the energy of life. Chicken = cowardice (mine lol). 

The energy continued to linger in my root. It was not the strongest I’ve ever felt but it was quite distracting. The energy was moving up but very sluggishly. Eventually I decided to position myself flat on my back with a pillow over my head and my arms crossed over the top of the pillow. Rather than focus on the energy, making it stronger and more unbearable, I relaxed into it. The energy moved up easily to my heart and a warmth spread out from there. 

Recalling how at other times I needed a catalyst to get the energy moving, I started thinking of those times, hoping to be assisted in a similar way. A male voice from my right indicated that though that was one way, there was another. The male voice then asked me if I wanted to learn/experience more. I recall asking for protection, shielding my aura just in case. The last thing I remember was hearing some instructions (can’t recall the specifics) and affirming that I wanted to proceed. 

Lucid to OBE: Soaring Free 

To my surprise, I ended up in a lucid dream. I was inside my old bedroom at my mom’s house and two of my children were with me. I sat on the bed and my two children were on either side of me. We all had laptops and mine indicated a message was received. When I went to check, I read a message from someone I did not know but who wanted to connect with me. There was a name that started with an “A”
but other than that I just know he was indicating that he wanted to get to know me. I remember almost becoming fully lucid here because I knew that I had not received any emails in real time but tossing the idea of dreaming because it felt “so real.”

I clicked on a link and a video popped up on a huge screen in front of my face. Surprised, I turned to my daughter to see if she noticed, but she didn’t. The video was of an older man and a younger one – father and son. The younger one was making a music video and the father was producing it. Both men had dark hair but other than that I can’t recall what they looked like. There was lots of dancing and I recall being pulled into the video for a short time.

When I came back out of the video, my vision had gone completely dark and I knew I was dreaming. I moved out of the bedroom towards the front door, put my hand on the knob and opened it. Outside my vision started to gradually turn on. The entire front area was a cast in reddish shadows and I remember wanting it to be daylight and knowing just my desire for the light would bring it. Sure enough, the light came and fully illuminated the space.

I took flight immediately, singing as I flew, going up to just above the tops of the trees. I flew up to the main road and saw below me a truck pulling a wheel barrow. I yelled down to warn the driver but knew I was too high. Another truck followed behind and I decided to move on, flying higher.

The pull upward was strong but I again decided to level out, knowing just my desire to do so would keep me from being pulled out and into “space”. I looked down in awe at the trees and landscape below me. I could feel the wind buffeting the clothes on my body. I tore off my shirt, losing vision in my left eye momentarily as the fabric stuck on my head. Completely naked from the top up, I felt an amazing sense of freedom. I remember thinking, “It’s so beautiful!” 

The entire time I flew, I was singing words I can’t recall. What I sang described how I was feeling, though, and the more I sang, the more free I felt.

Eventually, I shifted back to the house. Inside, I saw two dark haired young men lounging on the sofa.  Both looked at me and the feeling I got from them was interest. Not really interested at the time, I flew around, flipping and zig-zagging around the house and enjoying the freedom of my astral body. Oddly, I felt my previously removed shirt put back on me, as if folded around me like a blanket. I wanted it off, but knew it needed to stay. 

Eventually, the energy of my very active root and second chakra filtered through to the experience and I turned back towards the men. They looked identical and I wondered which one I should approach, eventually selecting the one to my left. I flew like an acrobat towards him, landing perfectly on his lap facing him. He looked shocked and I laughed because the position was obviously sexual. I kissed him, feeling a very puny tongue in my mouth, and an intense electric shock to my root woke me up. 

Music Message: When You’re Ready Come and Get It

There was no energy shift when I returned to my body. The energy was still present but only a subtle warmth remained. Knowing the experience was over, I opened my eyes and then curled up happily on my side, relishing the remaining blissful energy. I had been singing when I returned but the words shifted immediately to a familiar song. The words were clearly a message, “When you’re ready come and get it….”

Dreams such as the one above are clearly indicating that some “process” is occurring, or will be. That I was willing and did not resist out of fear is a good sign. The fear is illogical, of course, but I am and have been aware of it. The fear is of the unknown but also of an inner Knowing that what awaits me is another kind of “death”, one that is highly attractive and terrifying at the same time – the familiar signature of the Kundalini. 

The OBE was a nice surprise. The symbolism of it indicates a desire to feel free and unrestrained. Trucks = work. Wheelbarrow = difficult task. The shirt being taken off = desire to be unrestrained. The shirt being put back = message to take it slow, restraint is needed now. The twin men = twin energies, Union. 

I really shouldn’t be surprised by the events of this morning. Two days ago I received a message from my guidance. It came out of the blue and no explanation was needed. The message was, “You’re heart will open again.” When I heard this I got a bit panicked but was reassured with, “You will be okay.” A typical calming statement by my guidance but it works, and I’m glad it does.

by

Message: Go With the Flow

This week has been spiritually significant but only in that I have listened, really listened.

On the 24th, after waking once again feeling depressed and asking to leave this life, my guidance made a suggestion – control your thoughts, decide to stop asking to go Home. I agreed.

On the 26th, I had another realization:

I noticed something I’ve been noticing for a while now. I see posts on social media asking questions like, “Are you feeling the energies?” These posts have pictures or text from a channel or spiritual teacher, experiencer, etc. I look at these posts and respond to the question, “No”, and I think to myself, “I use to be one of those spiritual teachers/experiencers posting questions and images just like that. What happened?” 

The “energies” are not something I really notice these days. In the past, they use to be intense, so much so that I couldn’t help but notice them. I would have intense vibrations, Kundalini energy, psychic Knowing, and spontaneous channeling experiences. There were times that I felt almost compelled to write what was coming to me. I honestly felt to do so was fulfilling my purpose, and it was, at the time. Now, when I see posts like these I have no interest and even think at times how ridiculous some of them are. I see people putting all their attention on these posts, using them as identifiers, categorizing themselves and trying to find labels for what they are going through all in an attempt to ascribe meaning and purpose where none can be found.

Huh, that was me not very long ago.

For a while now, two years or so, these experiences have been few to none. Even the K has drastically decreased. Where it use to be volcanic-like, the energy is much more subtle now, swirling and more blissful than erotic or sexual. While I do still get communication from my guides and have the occasional dream experience, mostly it is quiet and life is back to “normal”. 

My past comes to mind every once in a while and I see just how different I am, how changed. Is it for the better? The worse? Both? And is this where all these people I witness following posts are going, too? Why are some seemingly forever stuck on this path while others move on?

When I look at the past me I see someone who was seeking meaning and purpose, wanting to be special, wanting acknowledgment, wanting to make a difference. The excitement I felt was palpable. My husband even mentioned it the other day, reminding me how passionate I use to be about my dreams, my spiritual experiences, abilities and gifts. 

All that is no more. I am bored now by all of it. I see the truth in all of it, that experiences are merely reflections, mirroring the lack (or abundance) within and broadcasting it to others. 

And I think now I am experiencing the after effects of it all. The “Before enlightenment (Kundalini), chop wood, carry water. After Enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.” 

There is no point in attributing meaning to any of my experiences. They just Are. The biggest lesson learned has been that humans seek to attribute meaning to everything but the reality is, there is no meaning to be had. Accepting that humans are flawed in this way, accepting that meaning is an illusion, is helpful but only to the extent that I apply what I have learned. 

Everything changes. Everything flows. Going with the flow, flowing in acceptance of what is, is the path. The water doesn’t ask, “Why are there so many rocks?” The water just flows. 

There will be rocks at times. We can effortlessly flow around them or question and resist them. At other times the current will be slow and deep. We can linger and swirl about joyously in the eddies and pools or we can question them and judge them for slowing us down. During the rapids we can fall freely, thrilling in the moment, or we can wonder why, looking to return to the slower, seemingly easier flow of the past. 

So, the truth is there is both meaning and no meaning. There is both pleasure and pain. There is both awe and cynicism. All exists within Us.

Since agreeing with my guidance to silence my negative, self-talk, I’ve been doing much better. It is interesting how easy it has been, a relief, really. If I do find myself thinking thoughts, such as, “I wish I would never wake up”, I receive an immediate silent reminder from within, an inner sense that is hard to describe. Usually it is upon waking from dreams that are unsettling, like this morning’s was.

Dream: Healing Hand

A man I knew in high school, the father of my best friend, was present in this dream. He passed away unexpectedly years ago, suffering a massive heart attack while on a cigarette break. He was outside, alone, when he collapsed. When a family member went to check on him, he was already dead. His death was a shock to my friend and the last we talked (about four years ago) she was still suffering from it, taking anti-depressants to cope. 

While I don’t recall specific conversations, Vic, my friend’s father, was the one I spoke to the most in the beginning. Mostly I recall how he was friendly and hospitable, welcoming me into his home and family. 

Then I spent some time with my friend. She was telling me how her husband had gotten a job that took him to other parts of the country. It felt like a military assignment, but he doesn’t work in the military. She mentioned the pay raise and how they were making preparations. The two of us sat down in a bedroom reminiscent of her old room. She had in front of her a large piece of particle board. On it was a white model of a home. My understanding of it was that her thoughts created the model. It was much larger than any single home and upon closer inspection did not look like a home at all but more like a 3D model of cubes set next to and upon one another. She told me it took 5 years to manifest. I remember there was another one next to hers. Mine? I’m not sure.

As we sat together, I could feel a focused pressure on my middle back. It felt like someone was pushing on a pressure point. It felt good and I leaned into it. In my mind, the source of this pressure was an animal but what kind I don’t know. My friend asked about it and I told her what was happening and how it felt good. 

While this pressure was pushing into my back, I decided to share something with her that made it impossible to ever trust her fully again. I shared with her memories of how she treated me our last year in school. It was difficult to tell her without feeling emotional but I did. She listened and didn’t judge. In response I recalled how she had later attempted to make amends – making me a bridesmaid in her wedding, attending my wedding, confiding in me over the years, etc. I welcomed her back but it was never the same. Our once strong friendship was gone, weakened by my inability to fully trust her.

Her father appeared and invited me to join them. We walked into a giant elevator. Inside looked like a well lived-in home. Other’s were inside. I felt unsure of myself and the situation as I stood inside looking around. The entire “home” moved and I felt it shift upward slightly. 

Her father smiled at me and was welcoming. I was reminded of all the times he did just that when I knew him, treating me like family and making me feel at ease. It was like a life review of the times he and I interacted and I knew his treatment of me in life was genuine – he loved me. It felt as if he was visiting me from beyond this life.

My friend was still there and her presence also made me feel at ease. There was a longing to have a relationship like that in my life again – to have a friend who was so close, who I trusted and felt safe with, whose family felt like my own. 

I stepped towards my friend and her father, accepting their invitation. Relief washed over me. I remember hearing the word, “Safe”. Letting down my defenses completely, I joined them – my family. I began to sob and part of a song came to mind.

“If you’re strong enough, to let it in. You’re strong enough to let it go.”

The song played in my mind as I cried. Then, out of the blue, a man’s hand came toward my face. It got close and then pressed firmly against my face. It reminded me of what faith healers do when they heal. The person they touch then collapses and when they are revived they are healed.

The pressure of the hand on my face woke me. I had tears in my eyes and the song continued to repeat in my mind.

“Who says truth is beauty after all? And who says love should break us when we fall?”

Considerations

I lingered in bed a while with full understanding of the dream’s lesson. It is difficult to explain, but the Knowing was there and that in itself is enough. 

It is clear to me that my friend’s father was visiting me, helping me to see what I had been unable to on my own. While he was alive I always kept my guard up around him. I liked him as a person, but there was a distance between us, one I created more than he did. I see how I do this with most everyone in my life, never truly letting others in. There are a few who do get let in, like my friend from the above dream, but it is rare that I ever let down my defenses completely. I could see clearly how I let down my defenses with my friend more than with any other friend in my life since or before. 

No wonder I’m so tired of life. It is exhausting to hold myself up, to shut out others, when all I want to do is let them in. 

I don’t know how to change how I am, or if I should. Maybe the right person/people will come along and press a magic button and I will feel like I did in my dream? Only once has someone been able to penetrate my defenses but not for long. It was a shock, that’s for sure, but also something marvelous. That 100% vulnerable feeling is the most beautiful feeling! But this damn human part of me shut it all done at the first sign of “danger”. 

If I am to be like the river, then I must move forward without dragging the past behind me. No more lingering on “why?”, forever trapped by currents long past. 

Pain and suffering results only when we cling to what was or to what might’ve been, seeking to keep always those moments long past which brought us pleasure, while rejecting those less than pleasurable moments that are or might be. 

These are the 8 winds of Buddhism of which my guides continually remind me. 

This dream was meant to help me to see how I hold onto the past – both the pain and the pleasure of it. It was also meant to show me how life has molded me into what I am and to teach me to not judge myself, but flow in acceptance. 

It is reassuring to know that despite all the reasons I have to fortify the massive wall I’ve built around myself, the wall can come down. It just takes the right person/energy/moment. 

by

Kundalini Dream: Sneaked Kiss

Slept really well. Again. I’m really enjoying the good sleeps I’m having lately. They are the kind where I don’t recall many dreams but when I wake I feel drugged and can easily fall back to sleep and linger in bed in the morning falling into the in-between or into “daydreams”. I feel well rested when I finally get out of bed, too, which is an added bonus.

This morning I was slowly waking from a dream, talking to someone in a bookstore about where I had bought the Clan of the Cave Bear series. I told her, “The I-Computer Store”. As I woke, I was seeing the store – isles upon isles of books. I was repeating the name of the store but woke up because the name I was repeating was not the store name. I was saying “I/Eye Center Storm”. Immediately I knew it was related to yesterday’s post where I mentioned feeling to be in the “eye of the storm”.

Speaking of yesterday’s post, I wanted to share the Kundalini dream I mentioned in that post.

Dream: Sneaked Kiss

I awoke around 4am not in a good mood. I wish I remember why I woke this way, but I don’t. Fell back to sleep quickly and entered a dream.

The scene I came into was familiar and felt like my mom’s house except it wasn’t. So wherever it was, I was comfortable there. There were many others present. Though I didn’t recognize them specifically, it felt like I knew them all.

There was a discussion on-going about a prepared drink. I remember being in a circle of people, then. We were positioned on plush chairs and daybeds. There was a pool and hot tub in the background and lots of background noise. 

This is when I spotted K. I stared at him from where I was, directly across from him, momentarily and then looked away. The discussion continued but it is mostly lost to me except that it was about a specific drink. What I recall about the drink is that it was being prepared and so we were all waiting. 

Somehow I ended up across the circle of people near K. He was telling everyone about the ingredients in the drink and mentioned one ingredient was a gnat – a giant one like the size of a softball (minor inconvenience becoming major). I recall seeing it in my mind. It was large and green (healing, heart chakra) and its wings so tiny they were almost undetectable. It didn’t look like a gnat and I said something about how I would be fine without it in my drink. K reached out his hand and touched my hand lightly, holding his hand there long enough to catch my attention. I remember worrying someone would see, but everyone was so caught up in what they were doing so no one noticed.

At this point, K reached over the top of me to grab something. He ducked his head under his arm, which shielded what he was doing from view, smiled at me and snuck a quick kiss. I believe he also said, “Stay”. In my shock I froze, again nervous someone would see, but no one did.

We lay there together, hip to hip, for a while and no one noticed our closeness. There was this electricity in the air. It filled my entire being with nervous anticipation and a sense that what I was feeling was not allowed. I could sense that he felt the same.

Eventually I began to feel the need to move away. We were so close that it felt like we were one person and I decided to get some distance. When I did, he resisted but I still broke away. I turned back and saw him smiling, his blue eyes blazing and compelling me to stay. It was too much and I couldn’t resist the pull of him. My decision was made: I didn’t care if anyone saw or knew. I fell back toward him and told him I wanted to stay with him. He smiled down at me and lightly brushed my lips with his own. For a moment he just stared at me, as if purposefully lingering to draw out the moment. Then he kissed me, his energy calm, protective and accepting, wrapping around me like a hug. We kissed again but the energy was too much. My heart was lighting up, the bliss burning a hole straight through my very center, and the intensity of it ultimately woke me.

After

I woke up in shock, my heart pleasantly warm in my chest. It was concerning to me that I had the dream. I had not intended to dream of him. Was this a preparatory dream? Or was it merely a method my guides were using to help clear the blocks in my energy?

The warmth in my chest was welcome, though. It has been so, so long since I’ve felt the heart bliss. Even though this was not full-on, it was enough that I reveled in it a while, sinking into it as the bliss of it spread. 

I cannot help but put together the sequence of dreams that has led up to this. First, they were sporadic and friendly, with long conversations that remained with me upon waking. Real enough that I wondered if he, too, were having the dream. Then, the dreams began to include sparks of the Kundalini. Some were blissful, loving and accepting, as if we were comforting each other. Some got intense enough that I awoke completely overcome with the K. Still, though, many months would pass between dreams. Long enough spans of time that I would easily forget such dreams ever occurred. 

I never quite know WTF is happening with these kinds of dream encounters. I’ve opted to not seek significance or meaning in these dreams. Jumping to conclusions is not recommended. Seeking to remain the Observer is advised. I’ve accepted that I’ve been allowed to glimpse the Beyond, the space where We come together as our Higher versions and play out scenarios that may or may not seep “down” into physical reality. It may even be that these scenarios occur on some other timeline and so the “memory” is then recovered or “jumps” to this timeline.

What I do know for certain is that thought creates reality. So, I must be careful with my thoughts. As my guides have often reminded me, I am “a great manifestor”. I’ve had enough experiences now to know the truth in this!

When I inquire of my guidance, “Why is he appearing in my dreams”. They answer with, “You called him.” Of course, I did no such thing (consciously)! But it is possible.

I Knew with my “twin” that I “called” him. He said as much in our earliest encounters in dreamtime. In fact, one OBE still stands out to me. I recall standing across from him, my heart and root both blazing, asking him, “What are you doing here?” He stated with a big smile, “You called me.” I also realized I had indeed “called him” at a much later date, via my internal dialogue and constant questions of “why?”

So, rather than feel these dream encounters are “happening to me” and out of my control, I should instead asked myself, “What do I want?” Honestly, I love the dreams and would be happy just continuing to have them. The Kundalini “fire” is a marvelous thing. The problem is, when you play with fire, someone always ends up getting burned. And I seem unable to resist playing with that damned fire. A spark is never enough. If I am honest, all I want is to be consumed by the fire. Completely. So, I guess what I want is to not pull anyone else into that fire with me. I’m happy to do it alone. But is that even possible? IDK.

by

A Little Update

So much is going on but at the same time so little. I know, but that is what it feels like. In the past, I’ve called this feeling the “eye of the storm” because I feel like I am standing in the middle of a hurricane watching everything and everyone struggle around me but I remain unscathed. It’s not that I’m not affected – I am – but only because I choose to be by my concern and love for those around me. Yet, regardless of how much I want to make an impact upon others in order to help, I find myself powerless to do so. What actions I do take seem to have no effect. The feeling of powerlessness in itself is upsetting and has the potential to create an inner storm, and it does, until I recognize it and center myself.

Family Drama

An all too familiar family issue has been rearing its ugly head. It’s my sister. Without going into too much detail, she and her husband have gotten themselves into a little legal problem, as in they now have warrants to contend with. As is usual with me, my dreams alerted me to the problem and I reached out and messaged my sister. She then unloaded it all on me. I think she had been holding onto it for far too long and the opportunity to let it all out was too tempting to resist. Knowing better, I got involved and tried to help, actually sending her money twice, in hopes that she would make the right decision and handle her problems responsibly. In all I contributed $400 in an attempt to help my nephew stay in his school. I thought I might have persuaded my sister to do the right thing but she turned to her husband who changed her mind and they fled north. My sister told me they are planning to leave the state. They are running but I know eventually their problems will catch up with them.

My mother has been negatively impacted, as usual. This past weekend I had the idea to go visit her. When I arrived, she hugged me and said, “I knew you’d come. You always know when I need you.” Surprised, because I had not perceived it that way (but she is correct, I do sense when she needs me), I asked her what was wrong. She told me she had gotten nasty texts from my sister’s husband. He had gotten my sister’s phone and read all her messages. I don’t know what he read but whatever it was made him angry. We talked for a while about their predicament and I figured he felt safe with all the distance between him and us that he decided to “burn bridges”. My sister, on the other hand, continues to message my mom but her messages are disjointed and, as usual, she asked for money. Sigh.

My mom says when she gets texts or communication like she did from my BIL, she becomes weak and almost falls down. My sister creates the same effect. At her age, she doesn’t need that kind of stress! I want to make it all go away. I wish I could fix things. It seems my lesson is to let it alone. I am here to observe and help when invited by being physically and emotionally present. 

Sacroiliac Joint Pain

Maybe it’s stress, but along with all of the above I hurt my back. I don’t think it’s serious but it has been a PITA (literally). At first it was bearable but then I had a deep tissue massage and it actually aggravated the problem. After the massage it flared up to the point that I had to lay in bed with a heating pad and/or ice and take Ibuprofen. At first I kept exercising because movement helped but always after I cooled down the pain and stiffness would return, sometimes worse. At the most the pain was a 5/10, which isn’t too bad.

My guess, based upon my research, is that I’ve inflamed my sacroiliac joint, most likely by the CrossFit I’ve been doing lately (high impact, heavy weight). When the SI joint is inflamed, the pain is made worse by prolonged standing or sitting. For me, standing exacerbates the pain. I feel the pain in my upper glutes more than my back. It’s a deep seated aching that is not relieved except by movement. For some the pain to be felt down one or both legs or the lower back, but I don’t have those issues. The pain is often misdiagnosed as Sciatica, but SI joint issues do not cause weakness. 

When I told my mom about it, she said that is the joint she has degeneration in and causes her issues. So it may be hereditary. 😦 The best thing I can do is stop lifting weights, stay active, stretch consistently and listen to my body. It should go away on its own. 

I’ve taken this whole week off of weight training. Bending down to pick up anything over 5lbs causes my my sacral area to hurt. I feel old, especially when I wake up in the morning. My entire posterior chain is stiff. 😦 So every morning I do 10-15 of yoga after I take Monty on a walk. Later in the day I do 30 minutes of low impact cardio. It’s working!

The sacroiliac joint is connected to the root chakra. Based upon my dreams of late, it appears that I’m working on that area, as well as other areas linked to survival and security. 

Dreams

My dreams have been bringing up emotion quite frequently, specifically fear and avoidance. My guides sometimes make an appearance, asking question and creating spikes in lucidity in order to make remembering the encounters easier. 

The other night the dream I had was about recognizing when to take action based upon the signs received. In that particular dream, I witnessed a roof begin to crack and the metal sheets slid down to reveal two separate houses under one roof. At the end of the dream I said to my guide, “I can’t ignore the signs anymore. It is clear this is no longer my path.”

I’m also having dreams of various meetings with people I know in real life (online and in-person). The emotion and energy of the encounters are muted in my memory but when I wake I know the energy connection was substantial. It feels like I am doing quite a bit in dreamtime but I wake up almost devoid of the specific memory. All that’s left is residual energy and a suspicion that something significant occurred. 

Sometimes I remember the dreams vividly and of those times I’ve wished I hadn’t. The dream encounters are consistently with the same person, on average 1-2 dreams per month. Initially the dreams were friendly, but now they almost always involve Kundalini energy. The most recent one ignited my heart with bliss, something I have yet to experience with this person in dreamtime. The heart bliss is my all-time favorite of all the K energy. I’m a little worried about the pattern I see arising, especially since this person is someone I interact with on occasion.

The other night I spent quite a long time talking with a woman amidst various dream scenes. I was awakened by her voice and an vivid image of a middle aged woman with thick, blonde hair. She was telling me that what I am seeking will be found and as I became more lucid, I interrupted her message with my own Knowing. Even though what I was being told was mostly positive and should’ve brought me hope, I woke up crying. 

After I returned to sleep, I found myself in a dream scene with the same woman. Our conversation continued but I kept fighting sleep in the dream, sluggish and unable to “wake up” within it like I needed to. Despite my struggle, I still recall enough to know that I was being counseled. There were emotions present that I felt fully to the point that I became overwhelmed. These emotions were not mine, though, and I recognized this. I felt the woman’s intense purpose and desire. I felt her intention, her love, her guilt, her pain. She invited me to join her on her path and I told her, “I can, but not for long. Your path is not my own.” She questioned me on what I was feeling and when I told her I became wistful and overwhelmed at the same time. I want to feel the emotion but it is more than I can bear and I told her, “I’m not use to feeling so much. I don’t know what to do with it all!” I desire to feel more alive, and the emotion creates such a zest for life, so I embrace it. Yet at the same time I am fearful of it because I become paralyzed by it to the point that all I do is cry. To feel so much makes me feel inadequate to the point of a failure because I cannot cope except to let the emotion overpower me.

Human Design

Because of the energy dynamics in my dreams and the questions posed by my guidance over the span of a couple of weeks, I am thinking more and more about my HD chart. Specifically, how limited and specific my chart is compared to other charts I’ve seen. The overwhelm I have at encountering lots of emotion is likely a direct result of my lack of definition. When I meet someone who has more definition, especially those with lots of it, the amount of emotion I experience is much higher than I do when not influenced by their aura. If the person has a defined emotional center (solar plexus) it is even more intense, like blow me out of the water intense. 

My mother is one of these individuals. She and I, when our auras interact, have a 9-0 relationship, which means all centers are defined. She is an emotional MG, the most intense you can get. My daughter is also an emotional MG. I find the emotion of both of them quite overwhelming and have to walk away in order to avoid being swept up in it. When either of them gets highly emotional, I find myself following suit and it can create quite the upset if the emotion is negative. However, when the emotion is positive I am deeply attracted to them/it and enjoy being swept up into it. All in all, their emotion feels like my own but the truth is – it’s not. 

I have struggled my entire life with trying to differentiate between my own emotion and the emotion of others. My typical emotional state is very flat compared to others – in general. It’s not that I can’t feel emotion of my own, but that I can be very disconnected emotionally. This can often cause others to think me incapable of emotion. To someone who is very emotionally defined I can appear callous and cold, uncaring and, as my daughter puts it, “mean”. But, I can also be extremely compassionate, caring and sympathetic when I want to. This part of me comes out most when I around someone who is feeling sadness, grief, or depression. I tend to be coldest when a person is venting, raging, angry, pressuring or critical. 

So, my discussion about emotion in my dream brings me to conclude that my HD is teaching me how to gauge emotion, my own and others. I have a completely open emotional center, so when I feel, I feel it ALL. It literally sweeps me up, devours me entirely and then drops me all at once leaving me wondering WTF happened. And it is VERY overwhelming at times. There is no avoiding that. The way to cope with all that emotion is to let it flow through me without being the effect of it. Completely OPEN in HD is like a spigot without a shutoff. Trying to shut it off won’t work. BUT, if I remain neutral, letting the emotion flow by as I observe, then I can manage without being swept away by it all. 

It is clear to me why I chose my husband as a partner. His HD is very similar to my own. He only has one more defined center – sacral – and he is an MG, but not an emotional one. So we are both very flowing and fluid. The emotion I feel from him, while it can be intense, is tolerable because, oddly, it feels self-created, as if he is playing a role he thinks he should play. The drawback, however, is that without emotion that has definition, it can get quite boring. So, I am choosing boring and predictable because at least I feel in control versus feeling totally controlled by the emotion otherwise. Someone with definition takes the lead when with someone without definition.

by

Dream: Remembering Him

Many emotional dreams lately. Here is one from this morning.

Dream: Remembering Him

I situated myself on my back without a pillow and put the pillow over the top of my head and rested my hands there. This position tends to bring on lucidity and K energy, especially lately. 

I found myself in a small garden. This one was newly tilled and unplanted. I was excited to be there and pointed to some mounds in the distance asking if anything had been planted there yet. The woman with me told me it had not and I said, “Good! I want to plant some squash.” I knew it was not too late because it was the month of May and squash did well in the warmer weather.

It took me no time to get to planting and I began by pulling out what looked like weeds. What they turned out to be were various veggie plants that had grown from the old plant left from the previous season. I pulled up a part of a broccoli crown that had roots shooting out of the tiny green “leaves” of the top. This pleased me and I told the woman I would replant it, excited that it was already growing so well. When I pulled up the next one it was part of a carrot, a huge, thick, healthy one. Again, I was excited, and I passed the piece to her and dug up the rest, keeping it but not eating it. 

I continued to dig for a bit and then my mind and emotion wandered. It was like the subject changed suddenly. My woman friend was no longer there in the dream. Instead there was a familiar energy, that of a friend and someone I love so, so deeply that words alone are not enough. The garden was still around me but now there was a tall, dark, handsome man there with me. When I saw him I was overjoyed and I went over to him and embraced him. I can’t recall his exact looks because it was like his face shifted through various likenesses, perhaps memories of all the different human forms I’ve known him to take. 

The feelings that filled me were so joyous, so hopeful, so excited. I was overflowing with love and kinship for this man. I knew he and I shared a special bond. The feeling is not one I’ve had in this lifetime except with one person but since that time was so brief, I cannot say it was the same. The feeling was definitely what I would expect only twins would feel for each other. A Knowing of the other, inside and out, and a connection beyond comprehension by anyone without the experience. It was very much like he was my brother, my best friend, my companion through thick and thin, and my life partner all bundled into one. 

There was a whole history there in my memory as I stood there with him, holding his hand and touching him whenever I had the chance. There was memory that we had been lovers many times over. A specific time came to mind and I knew, though what we shared was special, he was searching for something and that something could not be found in or with me. In the dream this played out as us being together but him looking far into the distance, his mind and energy directed elsewhere. There was silence between us and it felt as if he desired to have more – more conversation, more excitement, more adventure. He was not satisfied with just being there with me in the silence and enjoying Being together. I remember hearing, “We have nothing to talk about.” I don’t know if I said it, he said it, or we both did.

My disappointed was overwhelming and I grieved but not in a way that is usual in a body. It was full of understanding and acceptance. I let him go, watched him go in the direction he had been looking, and then fade away, but I could still feel him, feel Us, feel our bond. What I felt is hard to describe. There was a definite whiny quality to it along with a restlessness. I remember pacing back and forth as I spoke aloud to someone about what I was feeling. There was acceptance of his decision but I did not like it nor want it. My pacing continued and intensified the more I despaired. Time felt to stretch forever with me trapped inside. 

What I was feeling almost brought on full lucidity but I never quite made it to full awareness. I found myself going to a bed in the dark space I paced in. It was clear I was seeking to hide, to sleep, to immerse myself in sweet oblivion. I would lay down and then sit up, still restless, unable to forget. 

I began to cry, slow, silent tears. The emotion woke me up and I lay stunned in bed, wiping my eyes and trying to contact all the emotion of the dream. All I could find were remnants but I did contact that infinite bond of friendship, love and kinship. Oh how sweet it tastes! 

Guidance

Not long ago, maybe two days now, I was told by my guidance that help would be offered. I was told, “We will show you yourself.” In that moment it felt like what I would see was unwanted and hidden away. I think, though, that this dream reveals a part of it. 

About a week ago I realized that part of my struggle is in accepting the masculine – within and without. I reject the masculine and tend to demonize all males, blaming them and sometimes hating them. It was and is clear to me that I must embrace the masculine, to love and be in awe of Him. There is so much distrust of the masculine that must be inspected, forgiven and embraced. I asked, “How?” and got no audible answer. Yet I knew it required I look within, deep within and beyond physicality. 

It could that the physical me interprets the experience of missing that “other half” as rejection and abandonment. It is understandable, then, that the result would be resentment and blame. This physical me has a tendency to barricade herself behind walls of protection. Any suspicion of threat is kept behind those walls. It can be hard to accept that the one you love most is not satisfied with what you provide. But there is understanding, also, that they are seeking outwardly what they already have within. Every experience beyond Us will only strengthen our bond. 

It seems to me that I have spent many lifetimes seeking that which I miss the most. The grief and restlessness seeps through into physical reality and consciousness, leaving an emptiness that cannot be filled.