Category Archives: Dreams

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A Tornado and a Joke at my Expense

Yesterday was exciting. Around dinner time, during rush hour, a tornado touched down at the I-35 and 45 Toll interchange. There was video and everything. 

Here at our house we had no clue. The rain was hard and there was some wind, but nothing indicating a tornado. Yet my daughter’s friends were sending her texts, freaking out as they hid in closets because of a tornado sighting. Since I hadn’t seen anything but a severe thunderstorm warning I told her not to worry. Usually tornado weather has higher winds, hail and scary dark skies, none of which we had.

Eventually one her friends texted the video and we realized there had been a tornado. Not only that, it was very, very close, like a few miles up the road along I-35. 

Once the storm had passed, about an hour later, my husband drove down the road to check it out. It hit the Home Depot parking lot and neighboring stores, blowing the windows out of a Chili’s, flipping a small car and a truck, and breaking trees in half. It also tore the top off the drive-thru at a Bank of America. 

This morning, a friend of my husband’s who is a UPS driver sent a picture of his buddy’s UPS truck. The truck had been damaged. It had a big dent on the hood and tons of debris inside. The friend said his buddy was on the 45 Toll overpass when the tornado hit. It was the tornado that dented the truck. Thankfully, his friend walked away with only a few scratches but was very shook up.

There were no fatalities that we know of, which is good. 

A Joke at my Expense and K Dream

I slept well but woke at 4am from a noise. It sounded like the garage door opening a crack and then stopping. I went to check, worried, but there was no indication of any opening whatsoever and my husband was sound asleep. I somehow fell back to sleep despite feeling a bit nervous and paranoid over the sound I heard.

Not long after I was awakened by yet another very real sound. I can’t recall what it was now but I realized quickly it was noises off when I heard laughter around me. I told whoever was laughing to stop it, saying, “Yeah, yeah, I should’ve known!” 

The next thing I recall is being in a very nice house inside the bathroom. I was standing over the sink and someone was asking me if they could feed “it” something. I saw in my mind what looked like a small piece of meat about the size of a grain of rice. I said okay as long as it was rinsed in the sink. I saw it being rinsed under the faucet. Somehow I ended up putting my fingers inside the spout as the water ran out, inspecting the inside and thinking that the opening was the “it” being fed but “it” also seemed like a small animal, maybe a reptile. I distinctly recall how the opening felt – hard, cool and wet.

Then I was watching my best friend from high school and a girl we went to school with. They were standing in the kitchen discussing girl stuff, specifically talking about whether either of them had ever had sex. I really didn’t want anything to do with their discussion, because I disliked the other girl, but listened, curious, while keeping my distance. They both knew I was there and the girl asked me directly if I wanted to try it – sex. I said something about not ever having sex with a woman. She then described what it was like. When she did, my root chakra lit up and expanded very quickly. The feeling made me squirm it was so intense! I felt my body responding and woke up. The energy remained, a tube-like ball of energy, warm and highly pleasurable. It slowly expanded both outward and upward. It felt good but there was an ache to it as well. 

I lay in bed wide awake allowing the energy to do its thing. After a while I changed positions, knowing it would result in the energy subsiding, and it did. It is okay, though, because that kind of energy is not comfortable to walk around with!

Not Funny!

I can’t help but think the whole dream experience was meant as a practical joke despite it being so erotically intense in the end. Firstly, the noise of the garage door opening, which sounded VERY real, that had me up checking out of worry. Then, the second noise, which I can’t recall now, that also woke me, initially causing concern until I heard the laughter. The laughter was very obvious and there was no doubt in my mind that my guidance was being silly, trying to help me overcome my overly serious human tendencies. 

Then there’s the dream discussion about sex between two women. I am not interested in sex in general these days, not physical sex anyway, and definitely not with a woman. Another joke being played on me? Probably. My guidance likes to have a laugh at my expense and always has. I long ago learned to just laugh with them and stop taking everything so serious. 

It has been a very, very long time since I’ve heard laughter and known it was coming from the non-physical realms. It has also been a very long time since I’ve gone OOB or had lucid dreams where I explore and just enjoy my non-physical form. I’ve been sleeping very deeply and mostly dreamlessly for some time. I’m not really interested in recalling my dreams anymore and have lost interest in lucid dreams and OBE’s as well. I just want to sleep and disappear into oblivion at night. Sweet oblivion!

When I get like this, my guidance usually has to go out of their way to get my attention. Sometimes I hear them during the day so loud and clear that I think another person is in the room with me, but I’m alone. Most of the time, though, it is like the above experience. They do just enough to get me to recognize I’m not alone, just enough to get me to notice and question WTF?

It’s not like I haven’t been noticing other things. I’ve just been choosing to ignore the signs. Purposefully. I’m tired of the BS – chasing the mystery, getting caught up in signs and syncs. It rarely leads to anything new and that’s what I want – something new, something I’ve yet to experience, something that makes me feel ALIVE. 

The tornado was a nice addition, of course, though I don’t wish that kind of destruction on anyone. 

Was it symbolic? Um…not going there. It’s that kind of question that sends me down a never-ending rabbit hole. Not interested. 

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Dream: Three Swords

I have been feeling something deep within. It is barely noticeable and feels similar to past experiences when another part of myself is recognizable, a self that I have called the “small self” in the past.

The feelings have been simmering under the surface for some time but only yesterday did they feel to seep through in such a way that I took notice. By bedtime, I had felt this other me so much that I took time to focus on the feeling. The emotion was sadness mostly, a deep, penetrating sadness. The recognition of this other me was instant and I shifted immediately into Knowing. Rather than reject what I felt via this other me, I allowed it and then spoke to her, soothing her and telling her “it will be alright”. I sent love to her. The feelings calmed. 

From the Rider-Waite Tarot Deck

Dream: Three Swords

In the dream I was in a school being shown around by another teacher. It felt like I was getting a tour as a new employee.

I recall vividly meeting the school counselor. She was very pleasant and told me I could come talk to her anytime. I remember thinking, “She really loves me.” It made me very emotional and I began to cry, momentarily gaining some lucidity. She spoke with me a while and there was another instant of clarity. She said, “windfall”, and my mind went immediately to the good fortune our family is experiencing. There was a brief memory of being given this word as a message in the past (2019) and I instantly knew it pertained to my husband and his acquisition of the company.  

At the end I was taken to a classroom with 8th graders and realized the school was a K-8 school and, because of my experience, half my classes were teaching middle school. This surprised me at first but I understood their reasoning and so was agreeable.

The kids who entered were rowdy and intimidating. At first I didn’t feel prepared, but then felt completely at ease with the teenagers, knowing exactly how to get them to settle. I approached them one by one, asking their names and getting to know them.

The other teacher suggested I put up a bulletin board with all the students’ names and have the students post a picture that represented their life. One girl excitedly approached and asked me if she could post a family pic. She showed me and I told her it was perfect. I felt a warmth from the interaction, knowing the girl felt safe and heard in my presence.

I took the class on a field trip to a theatrical presentation and watched it with them. A group of women dressed in formal attire sang a song while a group of men carrying curved swords fought valiantly (but not to the death) for the opportunity to be with one of the women. Three swords (three of swords tarot card?) got left behind and I tried to put them in the classroom but it was locked. Another teacher met me and told me I could put the swords inside her room, so I left them with a sticky note on them (letter to myself). 

Considerations

When I woke I knew the dream was to show me all that contributions I have made thus far, specifically with teaching and reaching children and teenagers. I was reminded how, when I tune in and focus on helping, I can reach the kids that are the most difficult to reach. 

There were memories of when I stopped trying to connect and no longer wanted to help. There was understanding that all I had to do was step outside myself and be open to receiving what the students needed. In those times I was over tired, disillusioned or resisting moving on. For example, when I worked at the alternative school I was pregnant and tired and over worked – burned out. Thus, connecting with the very difficult students didn’t happen. It was just too exhausting and I needed rest. 

Similarly, when I was a counselor at the elementary school, though I did connect and enjoyed working with the kids, I was going through a difficult time emotionally and so ran out of energy quickly, unable to really put my all into the job like I should’ve. I thought back to the day I found out was my last day. The principal didn’t even bother to warn me it was coming. I wonder now if they hastened my leaving because they decided I wasn’t a good fit like they first thought? It doesn’t matter. I was ready to leave.

It is clear that when I introvert (withdraw into myself) is when others are cautious of me. When I open myself up, others are attracted to me more. The thing is, I mostly don’t feel like opening up. In my twenties I was very open, I wanted to help and so got more opportunities to do so. As I have become more disillusioned I’ve closed myself off. There were just too many instances where my helping others left me feeling unsuccessful and resentful. 

I’m obviously still healing, trying to pull out of the introverted stage little by little. My guidance is trying to show me when I have been successful and that I have a gift. When I woke, knowing their tactic I told them, “I still don’t want to stay. Why do you keep trying to change my mind?” 

The dream of the students, where the females sang and the men battled for the opportunity to earn their affections, reminded me of the dynamic I’ve observed all my life. The men want to show off, to impress the women with their strength and masculinity, the woman sit back, showing off their beauty and feminine traits. It really is a mating dance and it goes on, and on, and on. Even after the men and woman are grown and have children this dance continues. The ridiculousness of it bothers me and I am not interested in the game or participating in it. Much higher levels of interaction exist. Humans are stuck in a very low, animalistic and biologically driven game.

My low opinion of humans is why I introvert (withdraw within). So many people aren’t even scratching the surface of their potential. Then those that have moved above and beyond are still struggling, specifically with these sexual/mating game that continues under the surface of most everything. 

I do believe I come from another race of Beings or at least my past lives have been as such. These experiences are part of me and why I am so homesick. Earth – humanity – is so barbaric, so cruel, so confusing. Humans are just not my people.

What’s worse is that I am human, too. Yuck.

Yet in my dream I saw how I also loved humanity, so much so that my heart overflowed with love. And I Remembered.

In my earlier days (especially before my Saturn Return) I saw potential in everyone and tried to help them see it, too. I recall when I first started teaching how beautiful I thought my students were. I loved all of them and defended them to some of the other teachers who preferred to focus on the negative or had become burned out.

Over time I burned out, too. It was just so difficult! Maybe I set my standards too high? Probably. 

So, I will try in the future to look at each individua’s unique journey, gauging where they are and then working with the existing potential on a gradient. It is my own judgement of them that leaves me sad and discouraged and ultimately unwilling to help. It is hard not to judge when you see where a person could be versus their present reality. It is very frustrating and I can only imagine this must be how our guides feel when they see us struggling through this life! 

I think a good strategy is to become more like my guides. I know how they feel, I’ve been allowed to experience it. The reason they are so patient, loving and supportive is because they see past our flaws to our potential. They are able to see the why behind our struggles and they accept us as is, without judgement. When they see us, we are beautiful, flaws and all.

What does this mean for me? I suspect the end result will be to return to a similar mindset to what I had when I was young (optimistic, open, adventurous). This time, though, I won’t be so naïve about it. I will be much more selective, choosing only those interactions that feel correct for me.

At some point in the future I will be changed. I don’t think I will even notice it, but it will happen. And you know what? I am excited at the prospect of it. To feel purpose again. To feel hopeful. To feel optimistic. What a relief that will be!

This is likely what my Chiron (Kiron) Return will bring, leading me to become the Role Model.

In Human Design the 6th line is prone to cynicism. I am definitely cynical. I wasn’t always that way but the experiences of my life have led me to be so. Time to reverse that trend.

Three of Swords

Here is a link to the general meaning of the card. I do believe it is indicative of my journey and contains a message to take my time, heal and learn from the past. The sticky note I left on the swords could signify the letter I wrote to myself not long ago. It does seems fitting.

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Letter to Myself

March 6 – Message: The Outlet Can’t Handle the Load

I dreamed I was being counseled by a woman. There are flashes of memory in which I encountered people in my life who I no longer have contact with both living and dead. I vaguely recall seeing my friend’s deceased father and her brother, but I vividly recall seeing my ex-husband and the feelings I had resulted in tears. It seemed like I was grieving the past, specifically that I did not show love as often as I should and my regret about that. There was also a sense that everything in my past didn’t matter; that it was just a waste of my time and energy. 

The woman who was counseling me asked me to write myself a letter. She gave me an example, reciting her own letter to herself. The sense was that in the not too distant future I will be very different and the letter will help me to recognize the changes in myself. 

All this discussion happened amidst a dream taking place in the background that would occasionally shift to the foreground. In the dream I was inside an RV helping clean (healing) up the space. I grabbed a hand-held vacuum and joined a man who had a larger one. I focused on what looked like tiny worms (regrets) the size of a grain of rice that appeared to be dead (in the past). When I began to vacuum the power suddenly dropped and the suction stopped. I turned and noticed three other people vacuuming. The man next to told me I needed to stop cleaning and let them finish for me. His said, “The outlet can’t handle the load“. I also remember hearing “44 watts” was the max load. I took this to mean I stopped “cleaning” (participating in the healing work) at the age of 44. Now I need to let them (my guides) do the work for me.

Letter to Myself

When I woke, I remember hearing, “2025” and I felt disappointed and frustrated. The message I got was that it was not long but to me, three years feels like an eternity. I am so tired of waiting. I’m bored and disinterested in life. I told my guidance that I didn’t like this place or experience and the torture of all this waiting. I wondered if there was any way to not feel like this or is it just my burden to bear in this life? They told me they could help and I got a sense of how – an unexpected, exciting invitation – and I replied with, “But it never lasts and I am back to waiting so quickly.” It does seem that way – a never-ending game of waiting.

Since I was advised to write myself a letter, I guess I will.

Dear Future Me,

I hope you have gotten where you wished to go in life and that you are finally feeling fulfilled and interested. 

You deserve it. 

Life is short. Take advantage of each moment, each tiny opportunity, while you can because it will be in the past before you know it. 

It is not your fault. Remember that.

Focus on what you love and disregard the rest. It is a waste of your time and energy.

Love,

Me

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Dream Message: Rebel, Rebel

Two nights in a row where I’ve been aware of Kundalini energy but not enough to make me lucid or wake me. The night before last I recalled it only after I awoke and then it was gone as soon as I remembered it. All I remember now is a flash of a man and a Knowing that he was working with me. 

Last night I recalled a bit more.

Dream: Rebel, Rebel 

There are flashes of memory to start. I am walking through a field when I’m stopped by someone. The minute he stops me the field turns into a large indoor space with other people inside. There are flashes of greenery around, like potted plants of the tropical kind. It feels warm and welcoming and there is a sense that the space is healing. I feel like I’m on vacation.

Then I recall seeing my friend. She has gifts, her arms filled with various crystals and spiritual items. Two of these items are presented to me separately, resting in the palm of one of her hands. They look like acorns; small, brown, round and wooden. On these wooden pieces I can see words. I read them aloud but only recall the latter word because the first is unfamiliar to me. I read, “Rebel”. 

The scene shifts and I am with an older woman. She is complaining that her right shoulder hurts. I move closer, apologizing if I make her uncomfortable. She says I do not and closes her eyes as I place my hands on her shoulder and provide healing. The man from earlier walks up to me and asks, “What are you doing?” I told him that I can see what is wrong with her shoulder, the tissues surrounding the shoulder joint have been torn. I tell him I am giving her healing. 

There is slight memory of the man asking me if he can help me. I stop healing the old woman and walk away with him. I understand that he wants to give me a massage. At first I hesitate because something about him feels “weird”, but he explains it won’t take long and there is a sense that I should listen and do what he asks.

The actual massage is lost to me now, I just know that it feels amazing! I think the man stops the massage but I’m not sure. He is then talking to me. I think he asks me about my experience. I told him, “I would like more. It feels wonderful!” There is slight memory of the feeling which is reminiscent of the Kundalini. 

We talk more. I think there are others with us but can’t remember. I only recall that I am being told about something important. I remember repeating what I am told. I say, “Rebel. Rebel.” When I say this, I recall the two wooden objects my friend gave me earlier in the dream. I say, “I saw this before but there was this other word, too.” Of course, I don’t remember the word now.

The word, “Rebel”, woke me up and I lay feeling that it was a warning of something to come. Was I going to be rebellious? 

Dream Interpretation

The field setting is symbolic of a healing location. The acorn is symbolic of the “seeds of change” and the word “rebel” is symbolic of that change. The old woman is likely a version of myself: The Crone. I am giving her healing, thus healing myself. The old woman’s shoulder could be symbolic of “shouldering too much”; carrying burdens that need to be laid down and relieved. The massage provided is healing on my energy body.

I do not know the significance of the the word “rebel” really, I can only speculate. Perhaps my rebellious nature is the seed for new growth and potential? When someone rebels, they are inciting change, usually for the better (depending on perspective). The change is a catalyst for growth.

I do have a tendency to try and ignore those things which bother or upset me. I do so for so long, though, that eventually the pressure within me builds and I explode. Sometimes I act spontaneously in ways that could be seen by others as rebellious and illogical. When the storm passes, I am left wondering, “WTF did I do?” But it is too late and I have to then manage the aftermath. Thankfully, in these instances in my life, these seemingly drastic moves lead to beneficial life change.

Dream: Chinese Movie Theater

The next dream is odd. The main memory I have of it is being led into a movie theater with others. It was in China and when we got inside the theater is crowded and most of the seats taken. The faces of the people in the theater are all Chinese. My group of seven chooses to sit on chairs in the isles for some reason. I remember it being explained that no matter where you sat in the theater you had 360° vision. 

The “movie” we were watching is lost to me. Instead, a story plays out in my mind as if I am being explained something. What I remember is being on an airplane with Donald Trump, who is president again. He has people gathered around him listening to him and asking questions. He is talking about China.

The last thing I recall before waking is looking at the face of a Chinese man who is sitting in a seat in front of me. His head is between the seats peaking out at me and he is smiling. He says something about being able to see the front like the back and the back like the front, confirming he can see whatever he chooses. This wakes me.

I lay in bed thinking of the Trump scenario. The first thing that comes to mind is the border wall and the continued illegal migration problem. My mind wanders to scenarios that could play out. The nation divided by political party. The border being extended in south Texas into the Atlantic ocean. Increased border security authorized to shoot sandbags and teargas at migrants trying to storm the border. The US passing a law that prohibits illegal migrants from suing the US or its legal residents. 

My mind shoots to the virus scare and its spread. I am reminded of an article I just read about 95% of Texas deaths from the virus being impacted by certain comorbidities with the top ones being: High blood pressure, Diabetes, and heart disease. I think of how 65% (maybe more) of the US population is overweight (BMI of 30+) and realize it is easy for a nation of unhealthy people to fear a virus and even easier for them to put the responsibility of their survival on the rest of the population rather than take responsibility themselves. Easier to take pills or vaccines. Easier to continue their unhealthy lifestyles and blame others when they get sick or unwell (or die). I become furious at how lazy people can be. Their lives depend on them changing their unhealthy habits yet they persist, preferring to take a pill or shot. All along, the pharmaceutical companies and those that support them are happy to provide their consumers with what they want – the “easy way out” – because it means more money in their deep pockets.

Is it a warning? Does it has anything to do with the previous dream message “rebel”? IDK. I have to put it out of my head to stay sane. 

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Kundalini Dream: Tattooed Man

Busy night of dreamwork.

Kundalini Dream

I met up with a man at his home in California, a home he shared with some others. We were in his bedroom most of the time. I felt very close to this man but didn’t seem to know him well. The backstory was that everything had happened very fast, like we were both got caught up in the energy of our connection. 

What I most recall is how I felt when around him. There was the obvious sexual connection but there was also something else, a subtle sensuality and desire just to be close to him. When we moved closer together, I no longer felt separate from him. It was a very comforting and safe feeling, and as a result I had little resistance. 

Though I can’t recall his face, I do remember aspects of him. For example, he had this tattoo covering his upper back and shoulders. It looked like waves or fish scales outlined in black with red, blue and white coloring. I remember tracing it with my fingers and thinking it beautiful. I also remember noticing he had in an ear piece like he was hard of hearing. When he stood up bare chested, I could see he was very thin, carrying hardly any fat on his body. He wore blue jeans with a black belt and had his hands on his hips and a big grin on his face. I believe his hair was black or dark brown. It was messy and there was a lot of it.

When we embraced I was overcome with all sorts of feelings and emotions. I do believe we kissed, but there is little memory of the specifics of our embrace except the overwhelming feelings. I was so overcome that I blurted out that I loved him. This is uncharacteristic of me but I couldn’t help myself and neither could he. At one point I pulled away and said to him, “I can’t. It’s just too intense.” He was understanding and gave me my space. 

We sat on the bed and talked some about where our relationship was going. The overwhelming feelings I had stirred within me a strong desire to have a child with this man. I mentioned this to him and he was pleased. My mind freaked out, though, as I did the math and saw how old I would be when the child grew up. I said to him that it was not a good idea because I would be close to 70yrs old when the child was grown. Yet the desire to create new life was exponentially strong and I decided I didn’t care how old I would be.

This is when I noticed there was a massive window on the side of the room that overlooked a rectangular hot tub occupied by some young people. A little girl was trying to spy on us but the window was frosted with only a tiny edge around the window to see through. I pointed her out to the man and laughed at the sight of her saying, “She’s trying to see us but she can’t.” 

At one point we went outside of the house to gather my things from the car. This is when I finally saw the house from the outside. It looked like a nice, newer suburban home with terra cotta tiles on the roof. I remember my dog was with me and I scooped him up in my arms to take inside. The man had already gone in and so I followed but worried because I couldn’t remember where his bedroom was in the house. 

Inside I encountered his roommates. Still holding my dog, I introduced myself and a woman, who was standing in the kitchen, welcomed me. I asked if it was okay if I let my dog inside, stating that he was house trained. She said it was no problem, so I set him down. Another smaller dog barked from a nearby bedroom. I looked inside and saw a child sitting on a bed watching TV. Then a larger dog came in to sniff mine. My dog growled and hid between my legs. 

I don’t recall what happened next because my mind was a whirl of thought and considerations about the place I was and how I had gotten there. I remember thinking that the man was far too old for me and memory of what could only be a hearing aid came to mind. This caused me to wonder, “Am I old, too?” I was concerned about my lack of logic in decision making. I would never up and leave my life and move far away for a man, would I? What is wrong with me?! I was certain that, over time, the feelings I had for the man would die out. I saw that pattern in all my relationships and felt no matter what I did the connection would not last and eventually I would find myself stuck, miserable and eventually hurting him.

There was also this entire scenario that played out in a visual of this man with a woman I did not know. She was older, blonde (or gray) shoulder length hair, with wide hips that held a bit too much weight. She was very critical of the man, pointing out his faults, specifically the tattoo on his back. He, on the other hand, looked at her stretch marks and discolored skin, tracing his fingers over them lovingly and referring to them as “her map”. Watching the two interact, I immediately felt like I was similar to this woman, definitely not worthy of his love.

I was beside myself with self-destructive thoughts, specifically that I ruin relationships with my tendency to pick out all the bad and unattractive things about my partners. I turn beautiful things into rubbish.

While having these thoughts I still had all the intensely real feelings and emotions for the man. It was a gut wrenching, internal tug-o-war that woke me from the dream. 

In-Between Discussion

While the tug-o-war raged within me I was talking to a guide. I recognized that I was being shown two things. First, my overwhelm at the intensity of feelings rushing through me and the desire to surrender completely to them. Second, my mental rationalization of what I was feeling and how it sabotaged that surrender. There is a sense that feelings like that are destructive and will only lead to pain but at the same time all I want is to be overwhelmed and remain in a state of complete surrender forever. The latter part is so alien to me that I panic, well my mind does, and it becomes frantic because it cannot control what cannot be understood. My human side is in a panic, resisting that which is unknown because it is scary and unpredictable.

Yet, in the dream, my partner was totally understanding and accepting of my need for time. He gave me space and we talked about the potential of our partnership, which, oddly enough, was to create new life. I think, though, that it was more about beginnings that babies. That is how it felt in the dream. It was ripe with potential and possibility. The feeling was very attractive to me. So was the sense that I would not be alone in this new life. I would be safe, loved and cherished and no longer have to hide behind walls of protection.

My guide was asking me to look and decide what I wanted from this dream scenario. I, of course, was still caught up in the feeling and so kept saying that is what I wanted – to feel like that, to feel safe like that.

Dream #2

It took me a while to return to sleep. When I did, I found myself in a small gym. A song was playing through my mind, one I haven’t heard in a long while. I was putting weight plates on a small barbell after hearing someone (me?) say that it was okay to lift a little more weight. The voice suggested 45lbs. I was putting the weights on, one 10lb plate, then another, when I saw a small baby in diapers crawl over to a dumbbell on the floor, attempt to pick it up and smash their nose. Concerned, I went to check and the baby was okay. I offered her a 2.5lb weight telling her, “Try this instead.” She happily picked it up and smiled.

The song chorus was playing through my head very loudly as if someone turned up the volume. I could see my husband in my peripheral vision as I sat down on the weight bench to begin my workout. He tried to grab the barbell but I wouldn’t let him. He seemed to be there and then vanish only to flicker back into my visual field occasionally. 

The song chorus played on repeat: “This could be the end of everything, so why don’t we go somewhere only we know….”

I woke up and knew the dream indicated I had “work” (lifting weight) to do. 

Considerations

Symbolically, California means that I am carefully exploring my subconscious because I am nervous or apprehensive about something. The bedroom represents a private, safe space. The man inside is likely a guide and representation of the masculine. The tattoo of the scales is symbolic of the Kundalini. The hearing aid could be that this masculine energy was attempting to hear me better. The desire to create new life was an attraction to new beginnings; starting over; possibilities. The girl trying to see inside may represent my inner child or lower self who is not fully able to see what is happening. Her vision is obscured. The shift to me carrying my dog inside is likely indicating that I am wanting protection and to be more rational/logical. The vision of the older woman might be symbolic of who I do not want to be or fear I will become.

The weight room dream is very likely about doing “the work” to resolve and come to terms with the issues brought forth in the previous dream. The baby in the dream is again potential for new life/beginnings. The baby is also carrying weight, though much less. 

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Kundalini Dream: Want to Clean Floors with Me?

Very active night of dreams with the last one being a Kundalini dream.

I don’t recall the first dream too well now. My entire birth family was there, including my deceased father who I don’t see in dreams very often (he died in 1995). I remember seeing him very clearly and interacting with him about possibly taking an art class and finally deciding it was better to be a photographer. I took photos and remember that our family was going to take a family photograph together. The dream ended when I realized my father was dead and couldn’t be there. Unfortunately, I didn’t become lucid. I just woke up.

Kundalini Dream: Want to Clean Floors with Me?

The beginning of this dream is hazy. I recall being taken to a massive house that was mostly underground. As I descended the stairs I recall being told the house was left to me by my recently deceased grandparents. A woman with dark hair was with me. She was the curator of the house and was giving me a tour.

I remember going into the bathroom and seeing that the shower had been altered. Specifically, the shower curtain was taken off because it was no longer needed, but the rod was still there. I saw the need for a place to hang wet towels and clothing (I thought of bathing suits) so I adapted the curtain rod to this purpose. 

I walked around exploring the space. It looked like a normal house but the walls were concrete. A very large cat excitedly greeted me. It looked like a puma and was most obviously a pet. I pushed it off and lured it into a room and shut the door but it pushed it open and attempted to hug me. I pushed it off me again, trying to get it to go back upstairs but it wouldn’t. I suddenly became aware of many other “pet” pumas wandering the space, so, I closed myself off in a room.

I was inside a bathroom that I knew belonged to the curator. I felt I shouldn’t be there but also knew the space was now mine, so pushed it out of my mind. I noticed it was very dark inside and there were multiple leaks from the ceiling. Containers were collecting the moisture but it didn’t look like water. It was a thick, gold substance. The bathtub had a large window at the top that had curtains covering the light. I wanted more light so I opened them up only discover layers upon layers of curtains. I finally got them opened when the curator walked in, surprising me. Feeling like I was in trouble, I told her I was exploring and saw the leaks. She nodded and I asked to be told of other issues because I was not sure I wanted to take on a house with so many problems. The curator looked at the open window and I told her it was dark and I wanted to see the view outside. I pointed out the greenery outside. It was a beautiful view and unexpected as it indicated we were not below the ground like I thought.

When I left the bathroom I saw others were inside the house with me, people I knew from work mostly. They were looking around in amazement at my inheritance. 

The next thing I remember is a coworker coming towards me smiling really big. I could hear the others laughing thinking he was playing around but his face said he wasn’t and that he wanted me to go along with what he was doing. Unsure of what was going on, I played along. His back was to the group as he put his arms around me and pulled me close, pressing his lips to my own. In my shock I looked in his eyes and saw he was amused. Figuring it was a joke after all, I kissed him back but not fully. When I did my midsection lit up and the energy expanded. This surprised me and I pulled away. The man smiled, his eyes twinkling. The group was still laughing, thinking it all a joke. They couldn’t see that we had kissed. I looked at the faces of the people and spotted the man’s wife in the crowd. I wondered what was going on.

The man pulled away, standing back as I slumped to the floor overcome by the amazing bliss flooding my body. I felt completely incapable of moving, frozen by the shock of what had happened and the incapacitating energy. My mind was busy trying to understand what was going on but nothing made sense. I couldn’t process any of it.

As I stared at the floor (I’m laying face down), I could feel the man crawling over the top of me. He leaned over and turned me around to face him. By this time the energy was all-consuming and snuffed out any resistance in me. When he leaned down I leaned toward him and kissed him. The energy shot through me with more intensity. The man communicated that he was pleased with my response to him. He looked up at someone and I shifted to see who it was. It was his wife smiling her consent. Part of me recoiled at this but I ignored the feeling, choosing instead to explore what this man was offering.

He looked at me again and said, “Do you want to clean floors with me?” Confused, I was about to ask what he was talking about when he sent a visual with his response of, “Remember when we…?” I saw us standing at the entrance to a large, open, dark space. We knelt down, face to face, and started buffing the floors with small wash rags. I remembered that we worked together to do this and said, “Oh yeah, at the restaurant.” He smiled and nodded and I agreed to the “date”. He said, “Good. I’ll come get you tonight at 8.” 

Considerations

I woke up, the pleasurable energy still very strong in my mid-section. It has been so long! The energy lingered for some time after while I wondered about the dream. 

The basement is symbolic of something unknown, dark and mysterious; a place “underground”, subconscious. It is an inheritance which means it could be genetic or at the very least part of my history (this life and others). The first bathroom is a place of healing where I focus on the shower. I make adjustments and move on. The cat represents the Divine Feminine. I try to send it upstairs which indicates I want to be more conscious of this aspect of myself. 

The leaky, dark bathroom is a space that is in need of attention (healing). It belongs to the curator who is likely an aspect of me. I recognize the space as mine, though. I let light in to see better. The leaks are golden in color. Symbolically this means I am being shown something hidden about myself. The feeling I get from this aspect of me is that she is someone I am afraid of in the sense that she feels powerful and “above” me. 

The Kundalini part was very surprising both in the dream and after. There was no warning or indication that this dream would involve the K energy. The symbolism of it is clear, though – cleaning floors is symbolic of clearing away lingering past issues that are affecting my foundation in this life. The thing is, what I recall of the floors is they were dirty and our wiping motions were more to buff and shine the clean floors. So perhaps a final preparation? That would be nice!

A restaurant is a place of nourishment, spiritual nourishment specifically, but nourishment overall. 

I do hope the man in my dream doesn’t stand me up for our date tonight! LOL 

by

E.T. Dream: Scheduled Extraction

Woke at 3:30am from this dream. 

Dream: Scheduled Extraction

I don’t recall where I was in the beginning. It was like I was moving through a dark tunnel, though. I recall talking to someone, a woman, but I think there may have been others with us also. The topic of discussion was about E.T.’s who had been observing Earth for a long time and had decided it was time to extract a number of the inhabitants (humans). 

The visuals I received are what are most vivid to me in my memory. 

I saw lighted orbs (ships) streaming down across the planet and landing in the oceans. They were small, only large enough to carry one person, some smaller. With this scene I was told the ships were cloaked/invisible and could not be detected.

I saw a human-looking E.T. exit one of the ships. I exclaimed, “You look just like us!” In fact, I wouldn’t have thought of them as E.T.’s at all they looked so similar. I received confirmation that they did look like us and was reminded that they are us – “We are You”. 

In the next visual, I saw a human entering one of these ships. The human stood in the center on a platform and then was engulfed in an energetic protective barrier. The orb returned to space with the human inside in the same manner in which it arrived – very fast and undetected.

Then I became more aware of my surroundings in the dream. I was traveling in a vehicle (car?) with a woman who appeared to be driving. I couldn’t see anything outside the vehicle. I remember receiving information about when the extraction would occur. I seemed to Know it already, though, because I Remembered it. Two dates come to mind now, though I can’t be sure on their accuracy. The first is 2080 and the second is 2025. I seemed more interested in the latter and interrupted my woman companion to correct her date of 2080 saying, “But it begins in 2025.” I also Knew (was told?) that this kind of event was not singular – it has happened before and not just once. 

There was a word that came to mind that I resisted, but I don’t think they’re use of it implied anything negative: Harvesting. It was explained to me that some humans were “ripe” in that they had evolved to the point of relocation. In this sense, the word “harvest” makes more sense than the more negative interpretation that we humans have of being selected for consumption in some way. 

I did not take any of this information badly. If anything, I was excited. I told my female companion, “It’s good that I’m here with you. I will need to network with others in preparation.” She replied, with no emotion whatsoever, “There is no need for that.” She telepathically replied that any “network” I built would not be part of the extraction and of no real use to me. This made me pause as I absorbed all that I was being told.

Then I was once again in a black void. A male companion was with me this time. I was asking questions about the transport vehicle I saw in my previous visions – the orb ship. Again I was shown a visual, this time a view looking down on the earth from space. The orb vehicle was very visible – a bright yellow, glowing ball of energy. I couldn’t see a passenger inside.

It was explained how the vehicle worked. The individual stood or sat inside on a small platform. A crinkled looking metal substance that resembled paper tin foil was shown to me. It could’ve been what the platform was made of but I’m not certain. It was explained that vibration was key to the operation of the ship. The vibration transformed the foil into a solid wall which protected the passenger yet the “wall” resembled energy. not a solid structure. 

This was explained as I saw a visual of the orb heading towards earth. I remember saying, “Like Starman!”, thinking of the movie by the same name.

More was explained about how the vibration worked. I can’t remember the specifics now but at the time it made total sense to me. I believed it transformed solid matter into energy. Now that I think of it, it could’ve been that they were explaining what happened to the passenger because one of the things that made no sense to me was the size of the orb. It seemed to shrink as it accelerated, down to a size too small for a human to occupy.

I woke suddenly and lay in my bed wondering about my dream for a while.

Considerations

I haven’t had a dream that has sparked my interest like this in a long while. The information seemed so familiar to me in the dream, like, “Oh yeah! I remember now!” The previous extractions felt normal as did the up and coming one. It didn’t feel like a bad thing at all. I was excited about it. 

Whether the dream is a premonition of actual events or symbolic of an up and coming shift, I can’t be certain. My best guess would be the latter – that the dream is symbolic of a transformative experience only some will go through. 

What bothers me about dreams like this is that the “events” I am forewarned of only pertain to a select few. It is a common theme and not only one that I pick up on. I’ve seen it from many other sources. 

I can’t help but think of other times in Earth’s history when these extractions have occurred. Is this why entire populations seemed to just “vanish”? I’ve had other dreams that suggest there is truth to this. Some were dreams of me reliving memories of similar events. 

The E.T.’s in my dream were very human-looking, I have no doubt of that. It was amazing to me how similar they looked even in the dream. The explanation was that they were just like me. There was no further explanation except that I seemed to Remember that we came from the same genetic material – like we were “seeded” or planted here to be observed and then extracted when we had matured. In this sense, we are indeed harvested. 

Where will we go? I have no idea now but in the dream I was shown “space” (out in the distance) and it was enough to satisfy my curiosity. I had no misgivings, no feeling of doubt. I trusted Them entirely. 

by

Lucid Dream: Meeting Klaus

Prior to bed last night I was thinking about something the teacher said in my Rave ABC class about Reflectors and some Projectors (those like me whose split charts have no centers defined). She said that their experience of life is surprise. Nothing turns out as expected, so they are always surprised by what life brings them. I thought to myself, “Not me. My inner voice tells me what is going to happen!” As normal, I got a reply to my thought. It asked, “Do you know what is going to happen now?” I thought about how all of this Knowing seemed to have gone silent recently and said, “No. I don’t know and that’s okay.” 

My mind wandered to our recent RV purchase. We tried it out this weekend because my husband couldn’t wait to use it. We stayed at my mom’s without hookups on a very cold night and it was not very enjoyable. The next day we went to the lake, which was much better, though I was very tired and developed a headache.

An internal dialogue commenced about the RV – Was it a good idea? What will become of it? Will it be used as I intended or will my husband take it over? 

I got an inquiry from within, as if saying, “Do you want to know?” I answered that I didn’t care and would accept the outcome regardless. I laughed at my reply because the HD Analyst had told me my life experience was a continual not-Knowing followed by moments of clarity/Knowing only to return to not-Knowing. 

I slept amazingly well last night and had an unexpected lucid moment and opportunity to go OOB.  

Lucid Dream: Meeting Klaus

I don’t know what was happening before I became lucid. I just became lucid all of a sudden.

Standing in front of me was a tall, thin man with blonde hair, blonde stubble on his face, and blue eyes. He seemed friendly and familiar. It felt like he had called me there because when he approached he had something to tell me. I decided to ask him, “What’s your name?” He said something like, “Tiff” (it started with a T) and I said, “Okay.” I remember being very pleased with myself for remembering to ask him his name. He then invited me to go with him. I assumed he meant traveling OOB as I was quite lucid and knew I was in the perfect state to do so. I said, “Sorry, I’m just too tired.” 

Accepting my answer he told me, “You have 433 [days] left.” When he said this, though, I was anticipating what he was saying and was thinking, “Hours, minutes, days, months….” I don’t know if he actually said “days”, it could have been me deciding that was what he meant. I also thought he was indicating how much time I had left to live, but afterward doubted this and decided it was more like a countdown to some event or life change. Regardless, I didn’t overthink the message, knowing that all too often I get cryptic messages from random people or guides while lucid. 433 days from now is March 27, 2023.

More lucid than I was before, I suddenly knew who the man was and asked him, “Wait, I know who you are. We’ve met several times. You’re Klaus!” He smiled and replied with, “Yes. We have met before and will meet again.” I asked, ” Why did you give me a different name?” I then remembered/heard, “We have many names”, and repeated that to him. He said, “Yes, We do.”

He had a distinct German or Nordic accent and I realized when I said “Klaus” that I said it with a similar accent. 

I hugged him and reached up to kiss him. In that moment I was really happy that I was getting to see him again and felt a connection to him. I wanted to initiate an energetic merge, but he pulled away and said something like “Not now” or “This isn’t the time for that”. His words were more of a telepathic feeling. I didn’t feel upset at the “rejection” but accepted that he was not there for that purpose. 

More was said but my lucidity dropped quickly and I moved into a dream scene.

Dream: Mongoose-Eating Cats

In this dream I continued to talk to Klaus as the dream story unfolded.

I was traveling along the road leading to my mom’s house, a road I am very familiar with in this life as I have traveled it numerous time. In fact, I was just on it Sunday. My mode of travel was flying. I moved fast, hovering as if a ball of energy. The sensation of it was very much familiar and I enjoyed moving in this way.

I saw debris littering various portions of the road. There were rectangular boxes full of supplies that had spilled out onto the road. I didn’t look close, preferring to look ahead. I saw a red car on the corner. It’s front end up crumpled up as if it had hit something very hard. I looked inside but no one was there. I couldn’t find what the car hit and briefly wondered what happened.

Another car pulled up and a man and a woman were inside. One was holding a piece of paper in his hands and I knew they were the occupants of the wrecked car. I decided to leave and fly towards my mom’s house.

Along the way I saw more debris. It looked like someone had just dumped their living room furniture in the middle of the road. Traffic was coming towards me and I decided to flash my headlights (I wasn’t in a car so not sure how I did this). None noticed and I figured they would be forced to slow to avoid the debris. One vehicle, a small bulldozer, did slow. I remember telling it to be careful. I recall seeing a set of empty book shelves standing in the road.

When I got to my mom’s house it looked different. It was more like a greenhouse than a house, with glass panels covering all sides and the roof. Inside were many house cats and another woman, my mom I think.

There were also these little ferret-looking creatures that were very playful and active. Many of these creatures had babies and I picked them up and cuddled with them. My mom showed one of her cats a baby and the cat hissed and tried to bite it. We decided to keep the cats away.

I went into the main house. Inside was no furniture and a very spacious layout. Where furniture should’ve been were potted plants placed strategically in a grid pattern on the carpet. There were more cats inside as I walked through looking at all the greenery. 

When I went back outside I saw the baby ferret creatures were playing near the front entrance where they entered through a cat door. A cat lounged nearby, barely noticing them. I asked my mom about the danger, suddenly recalling the name of the animals: Mongoose. She said the cats wouldn’t hurt the them.

Then I noticed tiny, white feet with no bodies littering the area. They looked like cat feet but I saw them as baby mongoose feet. I imagined the cat eating everything but the feet. I was horrified and grabbed a cat sleeping nearby and pushed it out the window. Then I saw where the kill must have happened, a wet area of concrete, and pointed it out to my mom. Just as I did this, a sprinkler located in the ground turned on and sprayed me hard in the face. My mom laughed. I woke up. 

When I woke up, the first thing on my mind was that the wet spot in the concrete was not a kill site at all but a sign that water was present. I thought, “I should’ve known that would happen.”

Dream Interpretation

It seems like the wreck and furniture along the road to my mom’s house is symbolic of some “impact” that results in an emptying of the contents of the home (life path/journey). In this case the contents appear to be tools (life strategy) and empty bookshelves (place to hold knowledge). The home has a greenhouse (place of growth) and is full of cats (divine feminine, feminine sexuality). The baby mongoose (playful, mischievous tendencies) is eaten by the cat (feminine sexuality). The inside of the house is empty except for plants (strategic growth). This aligns with the furniture on the road.

The dream in its entirety feels like I am being shown a future potentiality, though I don’t really know what to make of it. My mom’s house has transformed in the dream to a place of growth, full of cats and mongoose. This could indicate the two become one, in that the cat consumes/integrates the mongoose. My “mom” may be a wiser version of me, or could be my actual mom. My best guess is mom = my wiser or higher self. 

Whatever the dream indicates will happen it is certain that it will be a shock or surprise, one that pulls me out of my seriousness and catches my attention. This is indicated at the end of the dream where I am caught off-guard by a sprinkler spraying me in the face.

by

Spirit Visits, Lucid Dreams, Remote Viewing and Kundalini

I’ve been having some unusual experiences, incidents that I haven’t had in many, many years. It’s as if my spiritual abilities, seemingly dormant for years, are waking up again.

For example, I’ve had Spirit visit me quite a bit this week. First, my husband’s ex boss told me, “I love you” out of the blue and soon after I dreamed of his wife, also deceased. Then a coworker’s family member in Spirit visited me and let me know she was assisting his recently deceased grandmother. I knew she was the deceased’s daughter (his aunt). She wanted me to tell him, to bring it up and ease his mind, and I replied back, “What do you want me to do? Just go up to him and say, ‘By the way, I talk to dead people and your grandmother’s daughter is assisting her?’ LOL I think that was the day of the funeral, too.

There have been other weird things. Just two nights ago I was checking on my son and I heard, quite clearly, my husband’s voice saying something he often says when playing with our boys. The thing is, he is in California on business. It was midnight and no one was awake but I did check to make sure a video wasn’t playing somewhere. Nothing. It freaked me out. My husband is traveling in very snowy conditions so at first I worried he was in trouble. Eventually, though, I concluded I had picked up on a “imprint”. An imprint is like a “stamp” on the environment caused by high emotion, often repeated over time. Imprints have no life of their own but are often confused as ghosts. In this case, it was a positive imprint.

I later confirmed my husband is in fact okay. 😉

Along with all of the above, I keep seeing things that are not there (or at least not in this reality). Usually I think I see one of my children and even say things to them only to find there is no one there. One time I thought I saw my deceased dog, Trooper!

Then there are the dream experiences. So many dreams! Last night was no exception but had an added twist.

Lucid Dream: Mosquito House

I entered into the dream scene. I was going to visit a family who are connected to my husband in real life. It was very dark as I flew towards my destination. Someone was telling me about the house ahead. It was just the outer parts, no insides, with a good, solid door. I asked why anyone would build a home like this and was told it was to “keep out the mosquitoes”.

Ahead I saw the house. It was one story, brick and had a full sized garage. I could also see inside, as if I had x-ray vision, and it was indeed completely empty.

I shifted into the house with just a thought. Inside it was very hard to see but I could make out the members of the family. I don’t recall interacting with them, just watching and talking about them with my companion (guide). The family is an odd sort in real life. They have opted to live out in the middle of nowhere New Mexico, off the grid, with no indoor plumbing. Their kids are homeschooled. Funny enough, they do use devices. The wife has an online business and the kids use computers for school. The husband does odd jobs in construction and slowly pieced together their home on his parent’s land.

I remember commenting to my companion how everything (the house, the scene) fit the family perfectly based upon what I know about them.  

As I walked through the empty space chatting with my companion, I recall being bitten over and over by mosquitoes (minor annoyances) and thinking the house wasn’t working to keep them out. I asked my companion about this and he said they weren’t bothering him and to ignore them. It was at this point that I became lucid, pulling my blankets, both physically and in the dream, over my head to keep the mosquitoes off me. 

No longer interested in the family or the house, I walked towards the entrance to leave. There were various aquariums set up near the door. They were lit up and I could see the fish inside. I remember pulling them over, one by one, just for fun because it was not something I would do in real life. The room slowly began to fill with water and I laughed as I splashed and dove into the water, swimming with the fish.

The water level got so high it spilled out through the window and I went with it. I could see the night sky and burst up into it in full flight, soaring as high as I could go, feeling absolutely free.

Lucid Dream: Slingshot Powerlines

I returned to my body several times and then went back into lucid dreams. I was heavy with sleep and energy, so it was difficult to gain full control of the dreams when I returned. I seemed happy to follow along for the most part but would get bored and leave the dream to explore. This is what happened in this dream.

I was in a warehouse in an Asian country and knew I had sent gifts to people there. I flew into a room and landed in front of an Asian couple who had received their gift. As they opened it they asked me if they could keep the items inside. I said yes, of course, but they hesitated in disbelief because one was a very expensive wi-fi speaker. 

I lingered around, flying through the warehouse. Like in my last dream, I could see through the outer walls and into the spaces just with a thought. It looked like a factory and it didn’t take long for me to grow bored of the place. Like in the other dream, everything was dark but in this one I could see well.

In my boredom, I went to explore. I flew out a window and up into the sky but got caught in some powerlines. There were rows and rows of them and they were not letting me pass. I got the idea to use them as a slingshot and positioned myself on top of them. With my mind, I pulled myself back and the powerlines acted like rubber bands. I pulled myself back several times until I knew I had enough distance to sling myself really far.

After three or so times of stretching the lines to their limit, I let go and was propelled into the sky and up into space. It was thrilling and I didn’t close my eyes or get afraid like I often do when I head into space. What I recall the most is the exhilaration of moving at such a high speed while watching the stars the entire time. They didn’t streak or change shape. They just shone brilliantly and brightly. All of the sensations became so real that I shifted back into my body, still feeling as if I was moving.

Kundalini

When I returned to my body I was covered in energy and it was difficult to not be lulled back into dreamtime by it. The energy was most noticeable in my solar plexus. It felt like a tube of energy going completely through me right below my ribcage. As I lingered in the amazing comfort of it, I had the visual of a bright light shooting out of my midsection like a spotlight. 

I focused on my breathing to just enjoy the experience but would instantly shift elsewhere. I had to fight to stay in my body and was conversing with my guide the whole time. I had instances where I knew I was seeing other people’s experiences but I didn’t know if they were other people’s dreams or just snapshots of their waking lives. 

In one instance I know I saw a little girl in the hospital receiving treatment for cancer. I witnessed the doctor reading through her medical notes and was able to see them clearly and read through them. All I remember now, despite repeating what I read to myself over and over, was that she had cancer and she was 9 years old. The other instances I saw are a blur to me now, but were similar, as if I were hovering in the corner of the room spying on people.

I fought this. I wanted to be present in my body, but it was not happening. Instead it seemed I was in full remote viewing mode and I began to realize this most acutely when I flew through my own house inspecting various objects and my own children sleeping in their beds. I remember thinking, “If only I had someone to confirm what I am seeing.”

The remote viewing came as a result of what I was talking with my guide about. He was asking me what I would like to do. It was clear that for some reason I was being given the opportunity to utilize my astral body to do things I normally would not. I couldn’t think of anything I was interested in doing. I remember replying, “I want to feel the Kundalini.” My guide laughed and said, “You are.” I realized then that he was correct. I just wasn’t feeling the Kundalini as intensely as I had hoped (as in up through my crown full rising). So, I told him, “I want to help people.” In response, the energy in my solar plexus intensified and other areas responded in kind – my chest and my head especially. I felt like my entire Being was a blazing Light.

The feeling of being this Light was comforting and I kept being carried away by it into remote viewing mode (or something like it). Even when I changed positions in bed the energy kept blazing through me and I would shift OOB so frequently that I began to lose track of whether I was in physical reality or elsewhere. The cool part is that I shifted out of my body via the center of my body. So, I had no racing heart or other bothersome sensations. The sensation of it was awesome. So fluid and natural.

One vivid recollection is of talking to my ex-husband for a moment. He was laying on his back looking up at me. He seemed quite young but he was full of regret and sadness. Though we didn’t speak aloud about what was bothering him, I knew why he was sad and why I was there. I said to him, “I did love you, just not as much as you loved me and I’m sorry for that.” I could feel his anguish and knew that his past with me still haunted him sometimes. When I told him “I did love you” I could sense his questioning. He didn’t understand why I would leave and wondered what he did wrong, and that was what kept him bound to the past. 

Despite the amazing energy and wanting to linger in it for the rest of the day, I made myself get up. When I stood up, my body felt oddly limber and refreshed. I felt wonderful!

by

Lucid Dream: Build Something

Woke around 6am. A major thunderstorm with thunder that shook the house, bright lightning and intense rain woke me. Somehow I was able to ignore it and go back to sleep.

Lucid Dream: Plum Tree

I was in a small house in a living room. It was very dimly lit but I could make out the furniture and who was there with me. On a sofa sat my BIL and SIL and my SIL’s mother who passed some time ago from cancer. The older woman was passed out while the other two were sitting quietly together. 

The old woman woke up and said, “I need a cup of coffee (awareness).” She got up and left to get it. I laughed, remembering how this woman use to always have a cup of coffee with her – and a cigarette. Flashes of memory came to me and I wondered briefly if this habit of hers was what led to her death. Probably. I also recognized that coffee = awareness.

I spoke to my BIL and SIL, telling them what I just witnessed. I said, “Remember the old sofa in the living room? The pink one? That was the one she use to sit in all the time. Remember?” They seemed not to even notice me, what I was saying, or that the woman had been there. I tried to get them to look around and be more aware but they just stared, faced blank. 

I walked toward the front door saying aloud, “I know. You’re asleep and have no idea you’re dreaming.” When I said this I became very lucid, instantly knowing I was in a dream.

The front door was beckoning to me. I could see rays of light coming through the cracks in the door. I opened it as my SIL, who was now my older sister, came up to me and said, “I’m not dreaming.” I looked at her, barely noticing the shift in personas and said, motioning to the open door, “Look! It’s light out. Let’s go outside.”

Outside was a huge tree, branches heavy with mango-sized, purple fruits. The trees branches were so heavy they nearly touched the ground. I reached up and touched one. I thought of it as a “plum” (youth, vitality, strength). It was very ripe. My sister grabbed one immediately, plucking it from the tree and holding it in her hand. I saw it was a bit overripe, its skin wrinkled like a raisin (loss of youth and vitality). I said something about finding a better one and began to look. The branches moved higher and I couldn’t reach most of the fruit. Finally, I grabbed one and picked it. It was smaller than the others but perfectly ripe. Someone (my sister?) asked me if I knew how to eat it. I inspected the dark purple flesh and said, “Yes.” I thought of peeling away the skin but never took a bite because a sudden wave of energy wrapped itself around me, pulling me to my sleeping body.

Note: A few days ago while I was working from home, I heard someone in Spirit say, “I love you.” I stopped and listened, feeling a warm energy in my spine. I asked, “Who is this?” I heard back the name of my husband’s old boss. The reason this is relevant is because the woman in the above dream was his wife. At the time I wondered, “Why would he say that to me?” I realize now it is because, though he didn’t seem to in life, he does love me.

Lucid Dream: Build Something

When I returned to my body I easily transitioned back to the dreamstate, this time fully lucid. At first I wasn’t sure I was in a dream it felt so real and purposefully returned to my body to test whether I was asleep or not. The energy that resulted confirmed I was indeed asleep. I could feel my physical body. I “touched” my body briefly and then shifted my awareness back to the dreamstate.

I found myself in my mom’s kitchen, a place I often end up when I go OOB or have lucid dreams. The first parts of the lucid experience are lost to me now, probably because I spent them going back and forth between my body and the dream. I shifted at least three times. I don’t know why I did this, really. At times it seemed like I was purposefully pulling myself back and then another “force” would return me back to the lucid dream. Moments would pass and this would occur again, as if I was playing tug-o-war with myself. lol

Finally staying in the dream, I stood in front of the backdoor that leads to the porch and the pool area. Like in the previous dream, it was very dimly lit and hard to see yet there were beams of light streaming through the closed door inviting me to open it. 

As I opened the door I remember thinking, “I’m going to see it when it was a room and not a porch.” Memories of the room were on my mind along with the timeframe which was the late 90’s when my ex-husband rented the room for a while. 

Sure enough, when I opened the door the old room came into view just as I remembered it. The light was very dim, though, so all I could see were shadows of it. I remembering knowing the dim light was because I didn’t trust my memory.

A familiar ball of energy approached me and I instantly knew it was my deceased dog, Trooper. Thrilled, I reached down and petted him, enjoying his energy and pleased to know he was happy. He circled me energetically and I remember calling him by name. It was hard to see my old friend clearly, which I really wanted. I said something to try and bring light to the room but it never appeared. This perplexed me.

Suddenly, a man appeared, walking right through the closed back door to the room. I couldn’t make out his features at all but I knew he was male. He seemed to flow as if he were made of energy; not solid at all yet solid at times. If I hadn’t been aware that I was dreaming, I would’ve thought him a ghost. He stopped about two feet in front of me, and said, “Come with me. I want to show you something.” 

I desperately wanted to make out his features but couldn’t. In my memory his face looks like a blur. I just know he had short, brown hair.

The man turned and exited the door, which was now wide open. Brilliant light poured in through the opening making the dimly lit room where I stood seem all the darker. I didn’t hesitate to follow the man into the light. Trooper flew out the door ahead of me, running around the yard excitedly. As I walked down the steps I called him, “Monty”, which is my current dog’s name. I corrected myself in my mind, saying, “No, Trooper”, noting that, to me, their energy was similar and so the “mistake” was understandable.

The man had disappeared around the corner but I somehow knew he was over by the pool. When I looked, sure enough he was standing at a table by the lounge chairs. I walked up to him and he smiled, more solid now and easier to track. He stood over a table that was covered with random objects – square sheets of shiny metal lay in a pile. He held one up to me and motioned down at the other items on the table. I could see white plastic items alongside bolts, screws and other supplies. The metal he held in his hand was very thin but extremely shiny. It confused me, though, and I wondered what the man was up to.

He took a bowl in his hand and walked to the edge of the pool. He tossed small, white pellets into the pool. I thought, “Chlorine” (clarity). The man turned and walked back to the table, looking at me expectantly. What did he want?

I hesitated and stared at the man and the scene. Who was he? I suspected if I got closer that I would experience an energetic attraction to him. I didn’t feel anything off the man but I sensed he was “tempting” me. I don’t know if it was with his energy, the items, or both. Or perhaps I was sensing his call – an “invitation”? 

There was a knowing that if I stood there focusing too long, I would return to my body. Part of me wanted this, though. I wanted to run away.

The man, still holding the metal sheet in his hands, held the metal out to me and asked, “Want to build something [with me]?” 

That was it. I was outta there. LOL

Conversation

When I returned to my body it was with effort because there was a pull to return to the dream. Somehow I won out and stayed put but the man in the dream remained in my peripheral. Was he a guide? His energy was not threatening. If anything he felt amused.

I found myself in the in-between seated at the table by the pool. The items were all gone but the man stood across from me. Again he was difficult to make out; a ghost. 

The man said to me, “You came here for a reason.” The feeling I got from him came with memory, memory that was overwhelmingly hard to resist, but I rejected it. I replied that it felt like I was done, that there was nothing left for me to do here anymore.

Memory came of something that happened a couple of nights ago while I was at our company Christmas party. An employee who had been taking care of his grandmother was present at the party. Surprised to see him, I asked him how she was. He said she had died. His answer had the effect of immediate sadness in me and my heart began to hurt. I tried to hold back my tears but they escaped despite my efforts. He was very straight faced and seemingly unaffected but I knew he was in pain. He told me that he would grieve later, that life must go on. I wiped the corners of my eyes but could feel my face getting hotter. This always happens when I get emotional.  

The memory seemed significant. I wondered briefly if the meditation I’d been doing had succeeded in opening my heart.

Pulled back to the conversation, I asked this “guide” what he meant when he asked me “want to build something?” The response he gave was received as if my own thought. He was asking me to “create” what I want in life, but also to allow the creative energy to flow and be who I am meant to be. He was telling me he would help me. 

I told him I feel “dead” and wish only to feel “alive” again but I don’t know how. I heard the word “build” while he said aloud, “Let the pieces show you what they want to become.” I saw the pieces on the table floating up and coming together as he said this. I understood.