Category Archives: Dreams

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Long OBE

Wow, what a night! I had a 3 hour OBE, something that hasn’t happened to me in years. 

I woke up at 3am crying from a dream. The dream was of similar themes to dreams I’ve had in the past. I was all dressed up in formal wear with a group of people I know from my life currently (ex, his family mostly). The event reminded me of prom. We entered what reminded me of my old high school except it was a bit different with a metal detector type thing we had to walk through and iris scans of the eyes (lol). I was in a super good mood and very talkative. I noticed they were not interested in what I was saying, some of them looking annoyed. We all mingled together waiting for the other guests to arrive. I mentioned something I was considering. I said I wanted to get a personalize license plate that read “EWW PPL”. LOL – I had been talking about this the day before with my kids. Everyone looked at me like they were completely bored and disinterested, some annoyed. Finally, my ex-BIL laughed half-assed to try and make me feel better. No one joined him and he stopped as he felt their critical eyes on him. 

Feeling very unwanted, I excused myself to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and cried while thinking of all the similar times the exact scenario played out in my life with boyfriends, partners, friends and family. I am good one-on-one with them but as soon as I am in a group they are embarrassed by me and later say, “Why did you have to say that?” or “Why do you embarrass me like that?” or other similar comments. They are happy to be my friend/partner when we are one-on-one but when in groups I become an issue for them.

I got off the toilet and there was a big turd in it (LOL – symbolic of relieving myself of a burden) and as I flushed it I struggled to pull up my hose. I wiped my tears with TP and as I tossed it I saw more crap in the trashcan (I noted its meaning in the dream). As I turned around the bathroom door was gone and a man was standing there looking at me. I was still pulling up my hose but didn’t care if he saw. He asked me, “Are you okay? Why are you so quiet?”  I woke up, tears still in my eyes.

The dream is a reflection of my life for sure as is the last part where the guy was suddenly concerned about why I was so quiet. If I am talkative and attempt to blend in with the group, I am embarrassing and get scolded. If I am quiet then everyone is suddenly worried about me. I can’t win!

I couldn’t go back to sleep at first. I remembered a boyfriend I had years ago who was the exception to the above scenario. I felt bad for the way things ended with us. He was the only one out of so many boyfriends and friends who validated who I was and valued my contributions.

OBE

I asked to go OOB but didn’t think it would happen. I lingered in the in-between for a while thinking of the dream. Suddenly, I felt vibrations and was like, “OMG, vibrations!” (haven’t felt them in a while). I got too excited and lost them but rolled over and was OOB that easily.

I was in my grandparent’s old underground house. It looked like it did when I was young. On the sofa were my two boys. I went over and tapped one on the head. We interacted a bit but I can’t recall what we did. I remember how bright the kitchen was and noted the old gold linoleum, cabinets and countertops. I headed for the door and went out, flying up and hovering over the driveway which was dirt and not paved like it is now. I felt an unseen force begin to pull me backwards and I blacked out a bit. I decided to start singing and regained my vision. I was singing, “Amazing Grace” but sang it with different notes. I flew up over the barn and other parts of the farm. It was dark with a clear sky of stars.

At some point I returned to my body but immediately exited again. I found myself back in the house but this time it was a bedroom and bathroom. It looked like my mom’s room. It was a complete mess and I realized it was a reflection of her inner self. I began to pick up dirty clothes in an attempt to help/heal her. I took a pile to the laundry shute but it was different than real like, opening like a drawer. I put the pile in and it spilled out, old panty liners piled on top. I remember being surprised by the panty liners, they were all clean. The bathtub was next and was full of old, stagnant water. I attempted to drain it but it was clogged. I tried to stop the dripping but it was stuck. The tub was also round and yellowing from old age, not at all like reality.

I came back to my body briefly and then exited straight away. This time I was back in the living room of the old house. A young boy ran past and my boys yelled at him. I followed and found him in the bathroom. I said something to him and he gave me his shoes, the soles were coming off. I told him to get some glue sticks from the kitchen, which he did. I glued them on. He was a little black boy.

I went outside again and flew up into the air. I asked for clarity and assistance and felt the force again but it only turned me around. So I flew around some more enjoying the brisk night air and freedom of flight. I recall asking to see the galaxies above but when I tried to go higher I was stopped.

Again, I briefly returned to my body and then went out again. This time my mom was there. I mentioned her dirty room and how I tried to clean it. I explained that she should be concerned as it is a reflection of her spiritual state. Her response was that she no longer cared if things were messy. I understood. I told her I would help but she didn’t seem interested in changing anything. 

After this I decided to wake up. I felt rested and comfortable when I came to my body. No issues whatsoever with shifting back like irregular heart beat or an off feeling like I sometimes get. 

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New OBE Exit Technique Experience

Had two accidental WBTB (wake back to bed) induced OBEs. Woke up just before 5am wide awake. Got up, had a drink, visited the bathroom and then went back to bed but didn’t fall asleep for a while.

OBE: Floating Out

I was having a dream about my daughter’s friend needing a tire. I remember wondering why she would need a tire when she didn’t have a car, much less a drivers license yet. This may have been what caused me to come to body awareness, but I don’t remember.

The next thing I recall is being in bed laying on my back. I feel subtle energy vibrations but am not sure I can exit. I attempt to sit up and it feels too heavy like being pulled back into body.  I get the idea to try to float out. I tell myself, “Float”. My legs start to float up and there is a distinct awareness that I have two bodies. I have never tried this technique before and am thrilled that it works. As soon as my torso starts to rise, I float all the way out.

I fly towards the bedroom door but don’t recall the journey there. I seem to shift into another scene immediately. I am in a house where there seems to be a house party in progress. I am face to face with two men talking, both are holding glasses and look directly at me. I say. “Well hi there” (not like me at all). The blonde man on the right puts down his glass and pulls me towards him. He open mouth kisses me sloppily. It was not pleasant so I pull away and start to leave. For some reason I pause and turn around. I tell him I’ll show him my boob (LOL no idea why). I turn and start taking of my shirt but it won’t come off. The men try to help. It won’t budge. I notice my physical heart pounding erratically. I come back into my body.

OBE: I Want to Feel It All

I’m in a dream with my boys but they are both much younger. I recognize I’m dreaming and attempt to leave my body but again am not certain I can without waking. This time I am laying in my stomach but in the dream I am laying on my side. I end up standing up and walking right through my son’s leg. I fly up to a second floor where there is a party. I can hear a familiar voice above the crowd. I ignore the voice and continue outside going through double glass doors. 

Outside it is a clear night. The stars are bright and there are lights from other houses. I say aloud, “Show me what I need to see”. I fly higher as I say this, looking down at the scene below. Then I feel a force pulling me backwards very swiftly. As I am being pulled I sense that if I go with it, I will be pulled through what looks like iron bars. This doesn’t phase me. Considering what to do, I remember that singing helps raise my vibration. So, I start singing and the force stops immediately. I fly up and soar as I sing. I end up flying through a city. The city had a lot of cobblestone and old buildings. I remember the words to my song were questions and answers. Questions like, “Why am I here?” The answer I sang, “I want to feel it all!” 

At one point I saw some people dining outside. A young blonde woman was dining alone. I flew up to her and gently touched her face. I told her she was beautiful in my song. Until I touched her she seemed not to see me. Once I touched her, she looked right into my eyes and acknowledged me. Then I went and flew to a guy sitting at another table. I sat in his lap and kissed him on the cheek. I recall both of their faces vividly.

I kept singing but had thoughts that my boys from the dream would notice I wasn’t there. Then I remembered the boys were in a dream and my body was asleep in bed. I felt for my body to check in on it. All was well. So I kept on flying and singing.

I turned to see the blonde woman from before. She walked up to me, smiled and said, “I want you to close your eyes”. I said, “If I do that, I’ll wake up”. She seemed to accept my answer. She asked me. “What brings you here?” We started walking together. I said, “I’m out of my body and just visiting”. I remember noticing my answer and thinking it unexpected. I’ve never said that while OOB. As we were walking I felt myself slowly being pulled back to my physical body. The last thing I saw was the woman’s head as she was about to walk into a low hanging wall. Her head went right through it.

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Dream Message: ACIM page 40

I’ve been staying at the new house (my retreat space). This is day 3. No apparitions. lol I did have a visitor in my dream last night who gave me a message.

In the dream, I was with my older sister and she wanted to go shopping. We walked along through what seemed like a flea market full of various shops. She looked at a shop with lots of clothing. Of course, she picked clothes that were for work with flowy arms and lots of chenille. I told her they wouldn’t suit her needs since she doesn’t have a job. A sales person for the shop tried to get me to buy something but I told her I prefer t-shirts and sweatpants. I recall looking at what I was wearing and it was similar to what I told her. 

We continued to walk and my sister kept getting distracted by things she wanted to buy. I wasn’t really interested in anything. At some point we ended up at a woodshop filled with carved items. My sister said, “Why do we always end up in places like this?” I looked around curiously at the items but didn’t select anything. My sister grabbed something that looked like a bowl with a little creature that would move with the help of water in the bowl. She asked the attendant to get her some water as she drank the remainder of the dirty water from the reservoir. Grossed out, I walked away to browse on my own.

I picked up a couple of small, carved objects. I’m not sure what they were but one seemed to be four people or characters connected hand in hand. Another was a single character. I held the single character in my right hand and the other one in my left and just started walking.

I walked along a paved road that had other, smaller shops throughout. I didn’t stop at any but just drifted, my mind on my life and what to do. I felt somewhat lost, not sure what direction to go. I recall being reminded by a passing thought that I am a hermit, so I should do what brings me joy. There was some music playing and I began to sing with the music. I let my voice go louder than I normally would in public until I was singing full volume. It made me feel good and I knew that if I just did what brought me joy that the right people would “see” me, or be drawn to me. All I had to do was wait for the right call from one of those people.

On my right a coastline took shape and I saw a blue heron dip below the side of the road towards the shoreline. My attention now on the water, I found a nice spot on the ground with a view of the water and sat down. I could feel the figurines in my hands as I fidgeted with them. 

From behind me I felt someone approach. I knew it was a man and I took a deep breath in preparation for his interruption of my solitude. As I waited for him to speak, I saw a strange looking creature on the shoreline where the heron should’ve been. It looked like a Pokémon creature, kind of like a weird dragon in a fat, pig shape. He had sharp teeth and large eyes, typical of a Pokémon (Bulbasaur maybe?).

Before I could investigate the man behind me spoke about the creature saying it represented change (Bulbasaur is based on the frog which symbolizes transition/change). He then spoke directly to me in a very calm voice. His words were very intelligent and he spoke as if he was from a different time or place. I tried to listen, to remember everything he was saying, but all I could do was grab onto what felt to be most important. I remember he said to me, “A Course in Miracles, page 40”. I repeated this to myself as he spoke more. It bothered me that I would not remember all his words and with that, I slowly began to wake. I remembered what he told me and thought about jotting it down since my memory often fails me nowadays. I wanted to sleep, though, so I opted to get more sleep.

ACIM

When I finally awoke I couldn’t recall anything except for the page 40 part. I heard from my left, the male voice say, “A Course in Miracles”. Curious, I considered it. I’ve never felt drawn to that book, though one of my close friends has recommended it numerous times. Here is the link to page 40. 

What I find revelatory about this section is that it seems to point directly to my thoughts in the above dream – of how I am a Hermit (Human Design) and must focus on doing what brings me joy and while doing so, wait for a call from those who truly “see” me. This has been coming through to my consciousness this entire trip to my retreat space. One of the ways I find clarity is through purposeful alone time during which I am not impacted by any other’s energy and can tune into my own energy; therefore finding clarity from within. Last night, prior to bed, a message came through that I need space and time alone to reflect and find clarity. There have been too many distractions and I have been immersing myself in these distractions rather than taking the time to look within. 

The name of this chapter is “The innocent perception”. This in itself screams Human Design to me. I have only one channel connecting two defined centers: 1-8 Channel of Inspiration. This channel in and of itself is about perception.

This page also speaks of inner vision. This is also written in my HD. This is how I perceive the world and is part of color and tone (link here) – the 4th tone of the Environmental variable – inner vision cognition, or how I take in the world around me. In HD, inner vision is about relying on one’s inner vision to perceive the word instead of using the physical eyes. Though I have not purposefully perfected this part of my design, I have found throughout my life that I rely more and more on my inner vision rather than what is presented to me via the physical world. This inner vision allows me to see past what other’s and the world present to me to the truth. I have often perceived what I can only describe as something distasteful. This in itself is a warning that there is something hidden and to be wary of the person, place or situation. 

So, the message I received was to focus on strengthening my inner vision in order to find truth and knowledge. The definition of knowledge presented in ACIM – Knowledge is an experience of wholeness and unity. 

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Kundalini Dream: Heart Bliss Overwhelm

Slept really well and had a K dream!

The first part of the dream involved me helping an old dog. He was brown and very, very large, almost like a mastiff. I took him to a house where someone I knew said I could leave him. I had to leave him in a small room for the majority of the day because the owner of the home had people in and out and she did not want him in the main living spaces, especially a bedroom that she was renting to a woman. 

I mostly recall loving the dog very much and being very concerned for him. He was super old and barely could get around. At one point he had escaped outside and I was very upset. Thankfully, he had stopped to investigate a women walking her two poodles. The poodles didn’t like him and started aggressively trying to bite him. The old dog just turned around towards me and I took him back inside.

Somehow the old dog turned into an old man who I was helping. The house shifted to become a tiny house community for old people. The facilitator of the community gave me a piece of paper with the rules and the cost of the space. I remember wondering why I was being charged anything since it had been free for the first month. They also did the laundry at no cost. When I questioned her she said, “Everyone must do their part.” I explained that I had been by doing 3+ hours of work where the community needed it. I then asked about the old man. Would he have a place to stay? Would they find him work? Both answers were yes. He would have his own tiny home and a job right there in the community working as a mechanic. 

I remember holding the community plan in my hand. It was well written and impressive. I held onto it, thinking it could be a blueprint to use for other similar tiny house communities. I thought of how much good it would do for people like the old man I had been helping, if only there were more communities like it.

Kundalini Dream: Heart Bliss Overwhelm

The dream shifted at this point and I found myself talking to a coworker about a dream I had. As I was describing the dream, I hid the fact that he was in the dream. The dream visual I recall just showed us across from one another and included heart bliss. The coworker interrupted me and said, “Are you sure I wasn’t in that dream?” I confessed that he was. He said, “I had that dream, too.” 

Shocked, there was a pause and the energy between us felt super charged. I lost my breath for a moment as he moved closer. His eyes were intense and staring into mine. I couldn’t look away. The energy began to swirl in all my chakras with the most intensity in the heart and second chakra. I couldn’t believe this was my coworker nor could I believe I was having a K dream (it caused me to become lucid).

We stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed like forever. For some reason he turned and went out of the room. I stood there in shock, the bliss swirling throughout. 

I realized I was in the same house as the previous dream – the one where the old dog and later old man had been with me. I remember very little here except the recollection of the previous dream and the bliss energy that still swirled through me.

I must have gotten lost in the energy because everything around me vanished and I found myself in a black void. In front of me was my coworker. He had laid his head in my lap and was staring up at me. The energy between us only intensified after that and I was almost overwhelmed by the beauty of it. The heart bliss is so exquisite! What is really odd is that as I looked at his face it shifted. His skin turned iridescent and took on a scale-like appearance. The skin shifted color, pulsating. It was beautiful! I remember recognizing him as nonhuman and this didn’t bother me at all. 

The scene shifted again and I returned to the tiny house community. I recall only that I was directed to look at the scene anew. As I did, my heart was flooded with every emotion imaginable. I began to sob. The intensity of all the emotions, swirling together, was overwhelming. I had felt it before and my recognition was acknowledged by a guide who was close but out of sight. I felt immense love for the dog, the old man, and every homeless or unfortunate soul that ever existed. I also felt love for those not in such dire straights. From the lowest of the low to the richest to the most generous – I loved them all. The purity of the love, the compassion, just kept building and building. I told my guide I couldn’t take anymore because I didn’t know how to handle it. What do I do with all the love? My guide reassured me as I was pulled out of the scene. The intensity of the love reduced to a more tolerable level. I exhaled in relief, tears pouring out of my eyes. 

I woke at this point my heart still wide open and all chakras below it swirling with energy. It took a while but I was able to return to sleep. 

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Dream Message: Go Home.

Lots of vivid dreams last night.

The first one I recall most vividly was set in India. I found myself amongst a group of tourists traveling in India. I was confused as to how I got there and remember feeling confused most of the dream. Me and a couple of women were visiting a temple. As we stood at its entrance, I decided I wanted to take a picture. I centered on the temple entrance and took a pic with my phone. Then I suggested me and the other two women get a picture of us together at the entrance. I said I could take it and pulled out my iPad. I took a picture but when I went to retrieve it, I noticed the settings had been wrong and the camera was not facing the right direction. I wanted to take another but the older women with us got huffy and impatient. She seemed very annoyed with me in general.

Our group ended up inside a large building that was open to the outside. We sat together at this meeting space waiting for everyone to get there so we could move on as a group. There were others there, none I recognized but all obviously part of our larger group. The space was somewhat noisy and reminded me of an open air market.

Next, I remember the scene shifting suddenly and I was face to face with a young Indian man. He looked very much like the dark haired man who use to visit me in dreams long ago. With him came the Kundalini. I noticed he had what looked like tiny, white circular bugs with six legs in his hair. I said something to him but he just stared towards the other side of the room. I remember thinking the man was handsome. 

I inched closer to the man to investigate the tiny bugs when I heard someone say something. When I turned towards the voice to answer the Indian man vanished and the entire open aired meeting space returned to my visual field. Everyone in the group had left and I was alone except for a couple of others who had also been left behind. We walked out of the building trying to find the rest of the group.

Again, my consciousness seemed pulled from the scene. This time I was on a boat with a woman. The water was dark blue and very rough, the boat tipping drastically from one side to the other. The woman had with her a massive turtle. The turtle was almost as large as the boat, his shell marked with beautiful gold and green patterns. She and the turtle fell overboard and, not long after, I did, too. The turtle came forward, offering its shell. I grabbed on.  

As I floated there with the massive turtle, a snake-like, metallic creature rose up out of the water. Instead of scales, it had silver, linked metal bands going up and down it’s snake-like neck. It’s head was rounded at the top with a point at the tip. It’s mouth opened, reddish eyes flashing. I was certain I was about to be eaten when I noticed a man sitting on a chair inside the open jaws of the beast. He was wearing what looked like a space suit. He, the chair and controls, were completely protected behind glass. Was it the man I saw earlier in the open aired building in India? It didn’t take me long to realize the snake was no snake but some kind of craft.  

My fear dissipated and I watched in awe as the snake head bowed and then stopped inches from me. 

This is when I heard, “Go home.” It was a whisper in my right ear and very, very audible. Before I had a chance to react, I heard again, “Go home.” The voice was raspy and masculine. As I heard it, I felt myself shift into my physical body, the dream scene with the metallic snake disappearing along with the visual of the space man.

I woke and couldn’t return to sleep. The dream felt almost like I had entered into another life but then was plucked from it as if someone was trying to get my attention. I wondered about what the voice said. Home. Which home? What did he mean?

I fell back to sleep with these questions on my mind.

I entered another dream. This time I was in a small house. I could see a sofa and full living room. My husband’s family was there. They were talking amongst themselves and I brought up my India dream. I specifically brought up the message I received – Go home. I went over all the details of the dream with them as if trying to remember everything I could about it.

I remember asking them, “What does ‘Go home’ mean to you?” My BIL said he thought of it as his family – his children and his wife. My SIL said something similar. Everyone had a slightly different definition of “home”. It seemed to me like “home” was something only the heart knew. 

The scene shifted and I was outside walking through thigh high grass. I reached my left hand out and let it graze the top of the grass as I sang the Lord’s Prayer aloud. My dream self knew this place and knew exactly where I was going. I was heading down the valley to my meditation hut.

As I got closer to where the hut was suppose to be, I noticed the hut was absent, the spot where it should be was a green patch of grass.  There was a man doing work in the area on a well located near the absent hut. I asked him where the hut was. He said it had been in horrible shape so they tore it down. I was disappointed and said, “I was going to meditate there.” The man said no one had used it for years. 

I remember looking around, noting the empty spot where the hut use to be, taking in the scene. There were tall oak trees with green, grassy meadows in between. It was very peaceful.

Vision: Caged Bird

When I woke up I was still thinking of what “home” meant. I spoke with my guides about it. They were asking me to Remember. It seemed like I was being asked to continue where I had left off. This evoked fear in me and I almost started to cry. 

I was presented with a visual. It was a bird in a cage. I said, “It can’t sing.” I heard my guide say, “Or fly.” Then the scene flashed and the visual returned but the cage was empty. I knew the bird was dead. The door to the cage was unlocked but closed. 

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Message: If you want to lessen the noise of the world, you must first lessen the noise in your mind

I had a dream last night followed by some messages.

In the dream, I was the owner of a business that appeared like two businesses in one – restaurant and medical clinic specifically. I remember the business was closing in three days. I was upset and rushing around trying to get things sorted. On the day of the closing, my SIL visited and noticed my upset. She suggested I do art with her. She showed me a new method she was using that involved using tape. The tape was stuck in horizontal lines on the canvas. She gave me a brush as she painted and invited me to paint alongside her. As I did, I felt like she was counseling me but I can’t remember now what was said. I just remember the colors and how the color I painted changed when it touched the canvas. The result was a rainbow-like painting. As I looked at the colors I began to cry. It woke me. I remember my thoughts from the dream had been about loss and not knowing what I was suppose to do now.

When I returned to sleep, I had a brief dream of carrying two very heavy weights, one in each hand. I was pulled out of my reverie by a voice asking me to “put one down”. 

Awake, I recognized the message was in letting go. In dropping the weight, I could better handle the other weight. 

I lingered in the in-between for a bit and a male guide was speaking with me. What I mostly remember is being told that if I wanted to lessen the noise of the world, I must first lessen the noise in my mind. 

As I woke, a Cranberries song was going over and over in my head, “In your head, in your head….”

My understanding of the dream and later messages was that I can fight the change, the death of my old life specifically, or I can allow it and embrace the new beginning awaiting me. The heavy weights being carried symbolize burdens I carry through life. If I release one, I can more easily carry the other one(s). My guess is that the other weight is my sister and the continued issues she is causing in the family, specifically with our mother. 

And the message about the noise of the world is a reminder that my perception of the world is directly impacted by my thoughts. 

I also woke up thinking that to completely let go of the weight will involve more than just the divorce. It feels like I should step away from my job. The thing is that I really like my job, especially the WFH aspect! I like that it doesn’t involve a lot of people and their emotions. It is just numbers and math. Yet my dream suggested that I am here to be of service to others (restaurant and medical clinic). Funny enough I just told my daughter that I’ve always felt my purpose here is “to help”. She told me I was helping her (so sweet!). She has been being very needy lately, asking to go on walks with me, telling me about her problems/day/life, etc. Her suggestion to me was to go back to teaching or counseling. Sigh.

It was difficult to wake up feeling what I did in the dream – uncertainty, trepidation. To not know what lies ahead, to feel without purpose or a calling, is tough. I told my daughter I feel much like she must be feeling right now as she is about to leave the nest and embark on a new life (adventure?). 

Also, I want to mention that I’ve had some interesting thoughts filter through into my awareness lately. Sometimes they seem like memories, other times they are conversations I am having with my guidance or council, at least that is what I think they are. I have heard myself tell them how difficult this (life) is, how difficult it is to occupy this body, etc. and heard their replies. The conversations are similar to the ones I had years ago when I was experiencing walk-in phenomena. I had pushed all thoughts of that (the walk-in) out of my mind. Yet to stumble upon these conversations in my awareness has me Remembering again and wondering about it all. Have I just been playing out the role of the walk-out all these years? Just writing this makes me feel a bit crazy. But, if I remember correctly, I think I wrote about the (this) exact process in my Walk-in Life blog…..

Update: The final hearing with the judge via zoom will happen on Jan. 3, 2025.

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In the Middle

The Second Request

Yesterday, during a self-healing session, I asked my guidance to assist me with healing core issues. I did not expect it to happen straight away, though.

Early this morning, around 3am, I awoke from a dream in which I was kissing my soon-to-be ex and had a surge of desire hit me. It woke me. Surprised, I went back to sleep. Again, I found myself kissing him with the same results. I woke up and returned to sleep a third time. The final time the dream continued and he told the kids that we were going to share a bed again. Eek!

It took me a while to return to sleep but I did.

I remember a dream where I saw two birds’ nests one on top of the other. The top nest had large, healthy babies opening their mouths for food. They were sitting among unhatched eggs. The lower nest had newly born, weak babies. I worried all the babies would freeze, saying, “Why are they having babies in the winter?” 

Then I was inside a house. It was my former best friend’s house. She and her husband were having a party. In the center of the living room I saw my friend and made a couple of dry humored jokes. She got mad and stomped away. I went to look for her, saying aloud I was joking, and found her crying. She walked past me and I saw a man pouring vodka all over the chairs in her living room. I went after her to tell her but couldn’t find her. Instead I arrived at a wave pool. Many young people were sitting around the top which seemed very high up. Below was a concrete slope empty of water with water even further out. Suddenly, a wave came up and knocked them all off the top and into the water. I could see ice in the water as it pulled them away.

Then, I overheard my SIL telling someone that my husband was going to give her money to pay for something but that she can’t let me know because we are in the midst of a divorce. I walked up to her and said, “It doesn’t matter. I heard everything.” 

The dream takes a turn here and me and my SIL have an in-depth conversation. She asked me, “Do you want help.” I thought of a certain type of counseling I could get and told her I would try it again except for the people. I said, “When you speak to them and it is a good talk they think you are now their friends but I don’t want to be their friend!” I was asked why and received many images all at once from this lifetime of times when I had been hurt by others. I realized very quickly that I purposefully didn’t have friends. I often say, “Friends are too much work” but I think the real reason is, friends are too much hurt. 

I remember her telling me, “I can help you.” I asked, “How?” She said, “Assist” and “Stat crash.” This confused me and caused me to gain lucidity.

Before I could wake fully, I realized it was a female guide, not my SIL, I was talking to.

I remember telling the female guide that I didn’t want to change my coping mechanism to protect myself from being hurt because “it is working.” I avoid close relationships with people beyond my husband and immediate family. My family hurts me enough as it is! So, it is a relief to not get hurt by a friend, but then it is sad to not have someone outside my family to talk to. In the past couple of years I have felt very, very alone because of my lack of friends.

Ah-ha moment: I realized my request for assistance had been granted. I was shown a core wound and how to repair it. Feeling overwhelmed at what I felt I was being asked to do, I said, “I can’t.” 

A male guide said, “It just takes some time….” and a song I have had on my mind for two days took over. I looked up the lyrics and when I read them I started to cry. The parts in bold emphasize where I feel the main message is.

The Middle, by Jimmy Eat World

Hey, don’t write yourself off yet
It’s only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
Just try your best, try everything you can
And don’t you worry what they tell themselves when you’re away

It just takes some time
Little girl you’re in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

Hey, you know they’re all the same
You know you’re doing better on your own, so don’t buy in
Live right now, yeah, just be yourself
It doesn’t matter if it’s good enough for someone else

It just takes some time
Little girl you’re in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

Hey, don’t write yourself off yet
It’s only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
Just do your best, do everything you can
And don’t you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say

It just takes some time
Little girl you’re in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

As I cried I had images bombarding me along with what seemed like instructions on how to change, how to fix the “stat crash” I have been experiencing for the last…..two years maybe more. In that time, I’ve not felt connected spiritually. I’ve felt “punished” but I didn’t know what for. I had chosen to do nothing rather than do what I knew needed to be done. Now that I am taking action things are quickly shifting. My guides are back (they were never gone but had stepped back). The syncs are returning. My dream recall is more vivid and my dreams are more lucid. 

Messages have returned. For me, this has been what I’ve missed the most. 

Examples:

The Mug

I was shopping for mugs. I found one that said, “You’re doing great”. When I read it, I started to cry. I put it back and began to walk off but then turned around thinking, “No. I need to remember that.” I bought the mug. 

Fast forward a week or so. I am in the same store. I have been upset over some things in life and feeling quite down. My daughter is with me. She knows about the mug. A woman about my age walks towards the entrance towards us. Her sweatshirt is too small for her. It has written on it, “Don’t worry. You’re doing great.” I laughed aloud and pointed it out to my daughter. I tell her it is no coincidence. The message is clear.

The First Request

I’m at home feeling angry. My mind is full of scenarios of vengeance. I don’t like it. I don’t like feeling angry. I go to the pantry to get something to eat and the thoughts are swirling. I get frustrated. I say aloud to my guidance, “I don’t want to be angry anymore. I’m tired of being angry.” 

Later that day, my daughter is anxious and so am I. I tell her we need to get out of the house. I suggest a movie. She wants to see Wicked. So we see it. I have no idea what the movie is or that it is a musical. Halfway through the movie I begin to identify with the “witch”. There is a scene where she is finally seen by the group. It makes me cry. I can’t turn it off but manage to by the end. Then there is another part, a song, that causes me to cry, too – Defying Gravity. The movie ends. I go to the bathroom and cry in a stall.

On the drive home I start to talk to my daughter, trying to say something really simple about why I identified with the witch. I start crying and then sobbing uncontrollably. I have to park the car. I cry in front of her. I feel bad but she is so very good at giving me space. 

We get home and I get a phone call from my husband. I start to tell him about the day and begin to sob all over again. My eyes are swollen I’ve cried so much by this time. I just can’t keep it in. A quiet message I hear from within says, “It’s okay. Maybe you should do this more often?”

The second request is at the beginning of this post. 

I have a feeling the floodgates haven’t even opened all the way yet (picture the wave hitting from the dream). 

Oh, and I might have forgotten to mention I’m getting a divorce. It was suppose to be final on the 6th but judgement was postponed. We have yet to get a date for the hearing. Hoping it is before the end of the year.

by

Lucid Dream: You’re Dreaming

Woke at 5:30am and was awake only a short while. I didn’t want to wake up yet so went back to sleep.

I entered the dream aware I was dreaming straight away. I was in a house I have been to in other dreams. It feels like my mom’s house but isn’t. It has the same long driveway and a similar layout but is darker overall. There was a group of people there, some I recognized, others I did not. They all felt like family. My mom and my sister were there and so was the salesman from the furniture store (huh?). 

Mostly I remember realizing it was a dream and saying aloud to my invisible companion traveler, “Wow! Everything feels so real! It looks so real!” Then I went to each person and told them, “You’re dreaming.” I told the whole group, also. They seemed to listen. I wasn’t excited, just matter-of-fact. 

Then I went outside and decided to fly to test it. It was very easy and I went up super fast. Worried I would go where I didn’t want to go, I decided to will myself back down. It worked and I came down easily, however, there was a counterthought that suggested I let go and see where it took me. So, I did and a forced pulled me backwards swiftly. I went with it but lost my vision and felt my body in bed. I shifted positions and shifted back into the scene.

I was inside and all the people were seated together around a long table. I wondered what to do next. I saw my sister and went to her. I told her, “You’re awake you know.” She acted like she heard me but kept staring ahead like she was in a trance. I then whispered to her, “You can make things better if you would just get a job.” She said, “I have a job. I make $13.25/hr.” Then she told me about the job. I only remember that it was in a suppressive environment. I remember telling her it was good she had a job and that she just needed to be responsible and use the money wisely. 

The salesman I remembered was seated a the head of the table and he stated aloud to me and the group, “I know I’m asleep.” lol I found him strangely out of place.

The last thing I recall is that I went to the back door which was glass. I decided to try something I use to do all the time when OOB. I walked through the door and it worked! I expected to feel like I became the glass for a moment as I went through but the glass actually bowed outward like it was made of plastic wrap. So the sensation was of a resistance and then a sudden freedom when the glass opened up and let me through. 

Woke up and checked the time. It was 6:33am.

The dream feels to be a message to myself to remember that I am dreaming and not to take life so seriously. It also appears to be a reminder of how unaware the people in my life are they are also dreaming. So many of us sleepwalk through life. I have been doing so lately and am finally waking up again. 🙂

by

Message: Look at Yourself

Very vivid dream that felt to be a non-lucid OBE.

I was in what appeared to be another world. The colors were very vivid with lots of water and green. It kinda reminded me of Avatar but the land wasn’t floating Most of the storyline has faded now but I recall being very immersed in it.

What I vividly recall is that there was this tall man in the dream who I knew had been an animal or something in another lifetime. For some reason I thought, “dog”. Perhaps this is because he was a guide or protector? He had a name that I kept repeating in the dream but I couldn’t remember upon waking. I know it had an “I” in it or started with that letter. There were others there, also, all seeming to be young like in their mid-twenties or maybe even younger. This man was part of the group but stayed on the outskirts as if observing.

At some point in the dream I was taken on a journey OOB. I remember my dream body being pulled away from the main dream scene, up and into a new scene. 

I was floating above a deep, blue ocean that spread as far as I could see. In the distance I could see an island dotted with waterfalls and greenery but there was also an ethereal mist and what I can only describe as orbs or bubbles of light dotting the scene. Maybe they were distant planets? It is really hard to describe! Everything in the scene screamed “other world” and I was in awe of it all. 

I took in as much as I could but my focus was drawn to a being standing in the ocean just to my left. I could see his body from the waist up. He was a light, almost white blue in color and had on no clothing. What was really remarkable was his head and face. He reminded me of a short film I’ve seen, in fact the entire world reminded me of it somewhat. He had no hair and a very smooth, bluish-white skin (more white than blue). His face was almost human with regular eyes, small nose and small mouth. He had one arm in the air, pointing towards the island in the distance and had a smile on his face. The most distinct part of his facial features were the round, white disc-like things near his jawline. Overall his skin reminded me of a whale or maybe dolphin.

As I was staring at this being, our eyes met and I was pulled into a telepathic conversation with him. The visual of the scene shifted to what he wanted to tell/show me. In this vision, I was told that many people on Earth are very young, like pre-teens really, and are their students. I saw a visual of their young ones gathered in small groups with an older teacher at the center. The overall message seemed to be that we are all children, not near as old or ancient as we may often feel as we travel through Earth life. I distinctly recall comparing my “age” in this life as well as how I looked to what I was being shown.

With that, I felt myself leave the telepathic mind link (it was like another world itself). Then I was pulled up and, with great momentum, down beneath the dark waters. I allowed this with much anticipation and felt gleeful as I dove down into the depths, knowing I wouldn’t drown and was completely safe. 

Deep in the dark depths of the ocean, as my vision turned black, I seemed to awaken back into the dream scene where I excitedly told the group what I had experienced. Specifically, how we are all really very young in terms of “age” and experience level. I recounted as much as I could to the group, thus reinforcing the memory so I would recall it with detail when I awoke. 

This is when the mysterious man from before came up to me. Again I called him by his name, seeming to know exactly who he was. He held out a small key that was a brass colored rod of maybe two inches with only a couple of small dents along it. He handed it to me and something about the realization that I was receiving the key brought me to full awareness very quickly. As I awoke I heard a familiar message, “Look at yourself.” 

I lingered in bed a while, happy to have finally had an adventure but sad that I hadn’t gained lucidity until the very end. I heard in response to this thought that had I gained lucidity I would’ve altered the course of the experience. I said I wouldn’t have but then Knew he was correct. I most likely would have!

The message, “Look at yourself” has been a common one in the past. I am still not sure what the real meaning behind it is. My first thought is that I need to inspect myself, my actions, my intentions.

by

OBE: Knives to Cotton

I had a short lucid/OBE yesterday morning. I’m not super surprised because 1. I recently asked to have one (two nights ago I think) and 2. yesterday I had moments were I was thinking how dream-like things were.  For example, I was downstairs doing yoga and self-healing when my daughter came down. She started talking to me about school and other things. Sometimes when she tells me stuff and I give my view she gets upset. That happened but after I just stayed silent and a thought came to me that it was like a dream and to just allow things to unfold. I even remember thinking how she was just a character in my dream and to respond like I would had I been dreaming. 

Okay, so on to the lucid dream/OBE.

I was dreaming of being inside a small, unfamiliar house. There was a man with me in the kitchen. The kitchen had a golden hue to it, especially the cabinets. The man pulled out a large, kitchen knife. I noticed the drawer was full of them – like an unusual amount. I didn’t feel intimidated, just unimpressed. I walked into a living area and sat at a desk that was to the left of the front door facing a window. IDK know why but I just sat their blankly staring and in the dream a calm came over me like a soft blanket. I felt really relaxed and thought, “I better watch it or I’m gonna fall asleep.” This is what caused me to realize I already was asleep I think, though I don’t remember a specific thought to that end. 

Knowing I was dreaming, I stood up and just lingered a bit, noticing the energy of my astral form and not really knowing what to do. I find this happens often now when I am OOB. Sometimes I just feel bored but mostly I don’t know what to do with no specific purpose motivating me forward. I could feel the energy fading and knew if I didn’t decide to do something I would just wake up, so I moved towards the front of the house with the intention to go outside. As I floated towards the door (the front was no longer where I had been sitting but all the way on the other side of the house), I knew there was a small desk there and was reminded of the drawer of knives. I opened the drawer anticipating feeling a knife and felt cotton balls and pulled out a whole handful of them. lol I wasn’t amused in the dream, just slightly curious, and continued through the door, opening it and floating outside. 

I used my 360 degree vision to see the porch behind me. It was well lit and I could see nick knacks and such all arranged nicely along the front of the house. It was a quaint little house with This Old House vibes. I continued towards the street and that is where I lingered briefly, looking around. I could see trees and other houses lining a residential street. It was dark but not too dark, like super early morning with bit of a haze of light on the horizon.  All the houses had a similar look to the one I came out of. I turned to my right and was about to take flight when I considered briefly that if I tried to fly I would likely go up way too fast, lose vision and then lose connection to the astral realm and end up in my body. I didn’t want that so I opted to turn around facing left and float/jump walked down the street. With no specific destination in mind, I just enjoyed the feeling of being OOB, floating/flying along the road. 

A bit down the road I suddenly felt an energy take hold of me and before I knew it, I was being swiftly pulled towards a cul-de-sac. My vision began to go out from the surprise of it but I wasn’t afraid. I just let the force pull me. I ended up going around the cul-de-sac towards a house on the right. The energy continued, pulling me into what felt like a bunch of vines which I then felt to be tangled in. Not really knowing what to do next, I asked for my vision to turn on, but it was too late. I started shifting back to my sleeping body.

When I woke, my heart was beating a bit faster than normal and my arm had gone numb because it was over my head. I lingered in bed a moment, thanking my guidance for the opportunity to go OOB. I still had a lingering energy that told me I could return if I wanted but it was time for me to make sure my youngest was awake for school.  Just to have that energy there was enough to make me smile. It felt so good!