Category Archives: kundalini

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Lascivious Kundalini

Prior to sleep last night I relaxed into a light meditation and had energy moving up and down my spine and through my body. This energy was brought on simply by my intention to feel it – to remember it. I wanted to see if I could “call it” and it worked. When the energy arrived so did the obvious presence of my current main guide who calls himself Chris. It felt like he was giving me a huge bliss hug. I told him, “I want the truth about myself and what is going on – all of it, even if it is something I don’t want to know.”

Dream: Hotel Guest

I recall being in another country. It felt like Europe and the time frame seemed to be Victorian or maybe later because of the type of clothing I observed around me. I was outside walking on cobblestone streets. In front of me was a large, stone building with stairs leading up to an entrance. The gray stone is still very vivid in my memory as is the heavy, wooden and ornately carved door I walked through.

I was with others in a group and we were staying in the building – a grand hotel (shift in personal identity, transition from old to new) – for the night. We were given rooms and keys and sent on our way. I remember my room number was 186 . I went looking for my room alongside a man with dark hair and a mustache. There was also another young woman with us. I could not find my room at first but finally located it. I remember wondering why the three of us were separated from the others in the group. I found out everyone had been separated into groups of 3 around the hotel. None of the groups were close to the others.

I wandered toward an open area noticing trays of food – candies (indulgences and forbidden pleasure). The candy was made to look like real fruit and placed on realistic leaves and trees. I selected some and ate it. A young girl with long, brown hair was there and spoke with me briefly. She was the one who told me about the groups being split up. This is also when I noticed we were both wearing corsets and elaborate gowns. Mine was yellow with white lace.

I stayed with the young girl for a while and we talked. She was telling me how she would never grow up and how she was stuck living life after life only as a child. Her age was approximately 12-13, maybe a bit older. I reassured her, seeming to know all about her plight. We sat together, me on the edge of a bed and her on a cushioned seat. I recall telling her how to stop the cycle she was in. My advice was for her to accept her life as it was, to accept that she would remain a child rather than resist it. If she did this, then the cycle would be broken and she would finally be able to exit into adulthood. Everything seemed crystal clear to me as I said this to her. I could see how many lives she had lived never growing into adulthood – hundreds of them.

While I was talking to the young girl I had some interruptions that were quite disturbing, though my reaction was to laugh. The first time it happened I was in the midst of telling the girl something and suddenly felt a large, cylindrical object inserted into my mouth and down my throat. In my mind I saw the bare chest of a man and then a very, very fat penis. I actually laughed when I saw the visual and knew who the man was. I said to him (after removing the object from my mouth), “Stop it. Not now.”

The girl I was talking to gave me a look like, “WTF?” LOL But I ignored the man and her look and kept talking.

Not long after I felt the object down my throat again and with it came a very strong feeling of sexual interest. Briefly, I felt pulled into the feeling. It was super intoxicating but I again rejected it. I pushed the man away and said to him, “I’m trying to tell her something!” Though it would seem I was irritated, I was actually smiling when I said it. It felt like a game between lovers, like he was trying to get my attention. And though what he was suggesting would be fun, I had “serious” things to say! lol

I remember the girl telling me how she felt stuck and then me telling her how to end the cycle. Accept it (her life) as is. Right after I said this I again felt something inserted into my throat but at the same time felt the feeling in my lower chakras that I had in the previous Kundalini dream. It was like my entire lower body became my root chakra and at the same time my upper chakras were melting down toward the lower chakras. Imagine yourself melting into your own center and you might get an idea of the sensation of it. I felt the two distinct energies converging in the space between my solar plexus and my heart chakra.

There was a surge of ecstasy that accompanied this. I felt like I was in the middle of an erotica film! All I wanted to do was surrender to this very “dirty” sexual game my partner was playing with me.

I woke up from the surge of ecstasy and it did not continue upon waking. My guide was nearby as I adjusted to wakefulness, energy still covering my body. The region between my solar plexus and heart was especially active and continued to feel pleasant for a while after I woke.

Discussion 

It was 4:30am when I looked at the clock. I told Chris, “What was that all about?” He said, “You wanted to know the truth.” I thought about it for a while and realized I had been talking to the girl, who was also me, and giving her the same advice I had been given previously – Accept it as it is. Apparently I am stuck in a cycle. This cycle keeps me from “growing into an adult”. The cycle involves rejection or non-acceptance of myself as a “child”. The advice is to accept myself as this “child” and only then will I grow into an adult.

Recognizing that, I questioned the strange method he used to get my attention in the dream. What was that all about?

He seemed amused. I received one word, “Lascivious.” HA! Yes indeed!! He said to me, “I will visit again soon.” Of course, I played along and encourage him feeling quite lascivious myself after the experience. lol

He said, “Sleep.” I said to him, “I’m still tired. I want to go back to sleep but you ruined it! How can I sleep after that!?” Yet not long after I did indeed fall asleep.

Dream: Pregnancy Advice

This time I was in a locker room (a new dream theme indicating need for time to recuperate/calm down) with a black woman who had just given birth. I noticed she was very tired and seemed sullen. I went up to her and hugged her, asking her if she was okay. We sat down on a bench and talked for a while. I told her she looked sad and advised her to give herself some time to adjust. “You just had a baby! Give yourself some time.” I said. I looked into her sad, brown eyes and felt so much love and compassion for her situation.

She stood up and stared blankly across the room. She said, “I know I just had a baby. It’s been 7 months but my body is still recovering.” I could feel her emptiness and apathy and sense that she wanted to do so much more but just couldn’t yet. I said, “This isn’t the end of your life, it’s the beginning.” In that instant I remembered how I felt after the birth of my first child. I felt like life as I knew it was over and knew I would never be able to live life for myself again. The recognition of my fate hit me hard and put me into a 9-month deep depression.

I took her hand and said, “You are sad.” She looked up at me, clarity in her eyes, and said, “Yes, but so are you.” This caught me off guard and the reality of the dream hit me full-on. Everything I said to the woman applied to me. Everything. I collapsed to the floor in heaving sobs and woke up feeling decimated.

zebra.jpgVision: Zebra Without Stripes

Wide awake again I recovered from my tears and let the messages sink in. 7 months echoed in my mind and I wondered about the symbolism. Did I give birth to a new version of myself but just not had time to fully recover from it? Am I grieving for what I lost like I did after the birth of my first child? Is this the beginning rather than the end like it seems?

I fell into the in-between while contemplating all of the above. I saw a herd of zebra (individualization, taking the middle ground, wild and free spirit). One was plucked up and out of the herd, it’s black stripes falling off and leaving it completely white. I knew the zebra lost its stripes and that it represented me.

By this time it was 6am and I was definitely not going to return to sleep. I still had lingering energy in my solar plexus and third-eye. My thoughts went to everything going on in my life and to the dreams and messages I just received. That’s when Chris said to me, “Doors will open now.” I felt in my heart that this was true. All I have to do is knock and they will open.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Unusually Powerful Kundalini

My Kundalini experiences have been intermittent as of late. I will get spurts here and there but nothing like the near continuous rumblings I had in 2016. For the last few months I have noticed a pattern, though. The Kundalini makes an entrance during specific phases of my moon cycle around ovulation and then again around menstruation. The time frame she chooses is interesting as I have read that for women Kundalini does tend to be more active at certain times in a woman’s cycle, specifically during spikes in estrogen levels (which would be around ovulation).

Currently I am approaching the end of my cycle, around two days from the end in fact. All has been quiet since mid-month when I ovulated and had a spike in Kundalini dreams that woke me up with uncomfortable root chakra activity.

Early last night I had a Kundalini visit that was unusually powerful. Thankfully I was so deep in sleep that I never became fully lucid.

The Kundalini presented itself via a connection with one of my guides. This is not uncommon. We were together having a conversation I can’t recall completely now. I do know this guide’s name was “Chris”. His appearance is blurry. I believe he had dark hair to his chin that was sorta messy. I also see him as muscular, though I have no specific memory of this either. In fact, I cannot recall seeing him even once in the encounter, though I do remember him being present. However, I recently had an OBE where this guide presented himself, so I have an idea of what he looks like.

To describe what I felt is always difficult with the Kundalini energy. There is nothing in my life experience, and I mean NOTHING, that even comes close. In the dream I recall talking to this guide one minute, standing next to him casually enjoying a conversation, and the next being literally overcome by a powerful sensation in my root chakra that surged upward ferociously, devouring any resistance I might have had and putting me completely out of commission. The Kundalini did not feel like I have ever felt it. My root chakra seemed to move upward and take over all of my lower chakras. It literally felt like my entire lower body became my root and the sensation of having a body at all was gone. I also have a vague memory of my guide pushing a “button” prior to the Kundalini rising.

As I was standing when these episodes would incite, I do not know how I didn’t fall to the ground! In those moments it actually seemed like I levitated and lost any recognizable form. The Kundalini would surge for what seemed like an eternity, I would lose myself to it and then it would subside. I would return to my conversation and then it would come again. And again. And again. Each time it surged it was like my entire body was orgasming! I could feel a central canal of energy extend up to my heart. It was like my vagina extended all the way to my heart! I know, weird, but like I said this was unusual even for me. My entire lower half felt like my root/genital area and was super, super stimulated to the point that I am not sure how I didn’t die from it. lol

After 7 or 8 rounds of this energy rising and receding, I finally began to have more lucidity. This is when I remember talking with my guide and discussing math of all things. lol My only specific memory here is of the number 38. I can still see it vividly in my mind as it was white outlined in silver floating in front of my eyes. I reached for it and touched it even and it converted into an equation of some sort, one with a square root sign. This is when the last surge of Kundalini energy hit and put me out of commission for a while. When it receded I began to wake up.

While in the in-between I received a message from my guide. He gave me the name “Chris” and another word came up but now all I remember is that it began with the letter “r”. I believe the word may have been “restore” but am unsure. I do know that I was being told why he was assisting me and that it had to do with some improvements being made as I saw the Kundalini as scrubbing/cleaning my energy body.

When I woke it was 1:30am and I easily returned to sleep because I had a feeling of being drugged. I had to get out of bed to get a drink, though, because I felt parched, and prior to sleep all of my lower chakras were active and felt merged as one with a comfortable, warm energy. I experienced the same raw ache I tend to get after a Kundalini surge but it was not uncomfortable as it has been in the past. The last thing I recall before slipping into dreamland is the energy reaching my lower heart chakra and the warmth of it spreading outward.

 

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Kundalini and New Chakras?

Another interesting night last night. I suspect the full moon again.

Dream: New Controls

I went into an office building inside a skyscraper (high ambitions) for a job (looking for direction and focus). While inside I met up with a woman wearing professional attire – gray and blue suit, high heels. She dropped me at my designated area and told me there were five openings and assured me I would get one. She hinted that the manager position was a likely fit.

Inside I was handed my packet complete with shirt, hat and shoes for my uniform (need to belong). I took it and left without question. The lady met me outside the door and asked me what position I got. I told her it must be a position lower than manager because I was given a uniform. I showed her and she seemed disappointed. I was also given a round telephone for communicating with the office. The feeling was the job was technical or something but all I recall is looking through the phone and noticing it needed to be programmed and did not look nor work like other cell phones.

As I was leaving I opted to take the stairs instead of the elevator. The stairs were in the center of the building and where the treads should have been there were straps. I opted to just slide down (letting go of control) and landed on the bottom happy from the ride.

At the bottom I ran into a woman with gigantic balloons (dreams, hopes, ambitions) in all shapes for her son’s birthday party. A gust of wind came and she lost hold of them and they scattered. We were inside a tunnel (exploring subconscious) so they just spread out. I grabbed several for her. I remember two in the shape of Corvettes. I helped her to her car and she thanked me.

Then I was inside a car and my mom was driving. I was in the seat directly behind the driver’s seat holding my new, circular work phone. It morphed into a steering wheel (control over direction of life) and I began to drive while my mom drove. This caused problems and the car went out of control. I remember thinking, “I should just let her drive.” So I let go of my controls and sat back.

Then for some reason the driving shifted to me and I happily used my new controls which were not attached to the car. It was difficult to get use to because it caused the car to fly (in charge of life, happy). I remember running into guard rails more than once but not being upset by it but laughing it off. The new controls were blue (spirituality, optimism) in my hands and seemed very futuristic. I remember someone being there to guide me on using the controls.

While I was driving I began to notice an energy in my root chakra. This shifted the dream and I found myself inside a sparkly white bathroom (renewal) cleaning it with white rags. I saw the tub faucet and noticed it had blue (spirituality, optimism) wash cloths (new transition) draped around it. I went up to investigate but the sensation in my root chakra grew more and more intense and woke me up.

Kundalini and New Chakras? 

When I woke up the energy in my root was explosive. It shifted out and then upward into my chest. It felt like a very pleasurable energy bubble that breathed in and out. I drifted into the in-between where I was shown the circular control (the phone and steering wheel from the dream) and then saw what looked like a V shape. Up one side of it were 7 circles set along a geometric plane. I recognized them to be the chakras. The root was at the vertex of the V and I understood that another whole set of chakras went up the other side of the V. I assumed this to mean that I had two whole sets of chakras and was learning how to control the new set.

I continued to feel energy all over my body and it was mostly very pleasant but not so much that it made me squirm. It seemed as if the energy of the root chakra just expanded upward to include all of my chakras except for the last two. While the energy moved around I saw geometric, 3D shapes coming into my body from above. Mostly I recall seeing triangles a couple of feet larger than my physical body. They shifted position as they came closer and then “clicked” into place.

In one instance I was being shown how to activate my chakras. I was told to focus (touch) the palm of my right hand. When I did an electric pulse of energy shot up my arm and went directly into my heart chakra. My heart chakra felt to expand a bit and the energy inside was electric and warm to the point of almost being uncomfortable. In my mind’s eye I saw an electric field generate inside my heart chakra that looked like something from out of a science text book. There were points connecting to points and they were all lit up in a neon green color and sparking as tiny points connected and reconnected almost like brain neurons. I was in awe of what I had just done and this woke me up completely. I laid in bed for a while after just enjoying the energy moving around and through my body.

When I was fully awake I remember Knowing that the shape of the new phone/control was purposeful. Cell phones are normally rectangular. This new “cell phone” was circular and looked like a futuristic make-up compact. The entire dream sequence and subsequent Kundalini activity was like a course to get me accustomed to something new about myself.

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Dream or Reality?

I experienced another purging episode last night around 6pm. It was another bad one. I would recover briefly only to be overcome by it again. It seemed to come in waves and though I pleaded with my guidance for it to stop, it didn’t. Eventually, in my quest to stop the overwhelming emotion, a thought came to me that I should do some yoga. With the thought my third eye, throat and heart lit up with energy.

I went directly upstairs and did some yoga for about a half hour. In the beginning the emotion came on strong but by the end it was gone and I felt normal albeit exhausted. My heart was on fire most of the time as it was also when hit with the emotion. The only way to describe the feeling is to say my heart is aching – literally.

In recalling how I felt last night a memory surfaced of a similar feeling I once had way back in May, 2015. It was preceded by an amazing OBE where I met up with my Council and family in Spirit. The afternoon after this OBE, however, I was nearly debilitated by a surge of emotion and grief. It hit my heart center and felt exactly like the ache in my heart I felt last night. The grief felt on this day in 2015 was for the loss of a family member in Spirit, a close family member and one who I loved dearly. She had killed herself, exiting her life prematurely, and the after-effects were felt by each of us like a ripple effect through us all. It was such a strange experience back then for me to feel such overwhelming love for a woman I never knew in the physical. And then to have it knock me to my knees to the point of non-functionality was a surprise indeed!

Being that how I have been feeling for – jeez months now? – is nearly identical to how I felt in May, 2015, it has me wondering some things. Am I grieving my family in Spirit? Is the grief coming from my resistance to a “call” to join them? Or is it just grief for being separated from them? And if it is either of those, what does it even mean? Will I be feeling like this until I answer the “call” and reunite with them? How the hell am I suppose to live like this? It is like a living death when the pain and grief hits me and so far it has been a nightly/daily occurrence.

Dream or Reality?

This morning a strange thing happened. I had awakened with absolutely no memory of dreams or experiences in dreamtime. I was just laying there dozing when I suddenly recalled something I had done. The memory was of being in a room with at least a half dozen men. They were standing in line at the foot of a bed I was laying on. My job was to have sex with each of them, one by one. I remember doing this happily and allowing them to treat me as a sex object. I even remember some of what they said and what I said, all of very degrading. They had no shame and neither did I. In fact, I felt completely at ease in my role, as if it was an accepted part of the life I chose. There was absolutely no rejection of any part of it.

When I recognized the memory it was real to me. I knew I had done this. In fact, it felt like I had been doing it my entire life. Confused and shocked by the memory and how at-ease I was at who I was and what I did, I went into a mild panic searching for answers to this strange and very real memory. Was it a dream? Yeah, it had to be a dream! I am not that woman. I am not a prostitute.

Somehow I settled down, convinced it must have been an OBE or dream I had somehow forgotten. Within moments I recalled another incident. Again, very real. So much so that I had no doubt I was the person in the memory because I felt what she felt and recalled details no dream would offer. In the memory I was with my lover in the midst of love making. The feelings of love were amazing. I have not felt such love with a partner in this lifetime. It was like pure connection – body, mind, spirit. I remember his blue shirt and the bedroom, the tiny twin sized bed, the large window, the curtains all lace with tiny purple flowers, the carpeting. Everything. I remember recognizing that I felt absolutely no shame or guilt in being with him despite being married to another man. I remember him, too, though all I recall now is his smell, the feel of his arms around me and his dark hair.

The moment I had this memory I “woke up” and my vision was filled with hypnagogic imagery. Tiny, honey bees in a geometric pattern that moved from the center outward. There was a sudden shot to my heart coming from the left and a strange vibrating sensation in my entire upper body that emanated from my heart. The feeling in my heart surprised me and a shock of adrenaline coursed through me.

Yet I had not been asleep, had I? Where had I been? Was I in a trance? I don’t remember sleeping. I remember being awake. The memory of being with the man in blue was there but it had happened. I was certain it was real…wasn’t it?

Super confused I lay there contemplating it. What were these memories? Alternate timelines? Lives I lived simultaneously with this one? Projections? Other people’s memories? WTF?! lol

I must have drifted into the in-between because the next thing I recall is feeling someone, a man, touch my forehead right where my third eye is located. He said, “BE” when he touched it. Then he touched my chin and said, “LIVE”. I could see him smiling. He was shiny. Golden. He had a mischievous look in his eyes, too. What he said sounded like “Be-lieve” but at the same time it was also “BE” and “LIVE”.

I came back to myself when I felt a lightening bolt of energy shoot into my heart space from the left. Again I felt the vibrations and saw hypnagogic imagery. Again there was a rush of adrenaline.  I felt a distinct rush of fear, but of what? It didn’t make sense.

I thought, “That’s it. I am getting out of bed.” lol

This song has been in my mind for two days now:

 

 

 

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Emotional Purging Returns

After a couple of nights of no tears the break is over. I was up most of the night in tears. I suppose I should count myself blessed being I’m not sick and had the two day reprieve.

The dreams started early in the night and this time I remember all of them and the reasons for my tears. I believe the better dream recall stems from a mixture of a lower dosage of Benadryl and taking 200mg of B6 prior to bed. B6 is known to help with dream recall. I have been taking the Benadryl for weeks because of my lingering cold symptoms and difficulty falling to sleep. Typically it does not lower dream recall or decrease the chance of having an OBEs. In fact, when I had my most recent OBE I took 25mg of Benadryl. However, I sleep lighter when I don’t take it.

Dream: Injustice

In this dream I was watching a drama unfold at a warehouse location (memories). The boss was giving the employees their instructions for the day. A couple of them posted a sign about him on the store doors. It was discovered and they were punished. The sign told untruths about their boss, some very nasty ones, too. I watched as more and more employees were joining the first two and undermining their boss behind his back. They did everything you can imagine – talked about him, purposefully made him look bad, ignored instructions, lied, etc. They were malicious, cold and plain nasty. I watched as the boss saw this happening and was beside himself with upset and unable to do anything about it. There was nothing wrong with him, either, it was just that two men decided to hate him and make his life miserable and got others to join them. I could feel all his upset and it became as if my own.

Toward the end of the dream I entered the dream and tried to defend the man. The whole thing was just so unfair and wrong. I remember telling someone about how I felt and how I could identify with the man’s plight. This is when I began to cry in heaving sobs. It was not tears for me but for the cruelty suffered by anyone in similar circumstances. I did have memories of my own upsets and relived the feelings I had during those times. I saw how I protected myself from it by withdrawing from most social circles.

When I woke up my eyes were pouring tears. It was 11am and I had not been asleep very long yet the dream seemed to have lasted forever. I remember saying to my guidance, “I don’t want to be here anymore.” When I was calmer I heard a voice say, “We want you to stay.” I realized I was in the in-between when I felt/saw one of my guides reach across a table and take my hand in his own. I then saw I was sitting at a round table and my Council was sitting all around me. The table was open in the middle and that is where I was seated. When looking at the table from above it would resemble a crescent moon.

We talked for a short while about my options. I won’t go into detail about them now but they have to do with the upcoming vertical alignment I am preparing for.

tears

Dream: Loss

In this dream I was at work orientation. I was obviously a school counselor at a school campus. Part of the orientation was to take a math quiz (self analysis) in order to assess our readiness to help the students with the state mandated testing. I had gotten mine late and when the principal came around to check our progress she took mine and wrote in black pen comments that were very rude and unprofessional. I was shocked and ended up cheating off a fellow teacher (feeling insecure) to get it done but even the copying proved difficult. The problems were very complex.

Feeling upset and wanting to get away, I went to hide in the bathroom (renewal). I was reconsidering my decision to work there. For some reason I was completely naked (fear of being discovered). I noticed an orange (out-going nature), sticky substance was all over me and I could not get it off. A man came in and told me it came from the sinks. Before I could be surprised that he was there the bathroom was full of people, both male and female. I was the only one without clothes but no one seemed to notice and I didn’t seem to care.

Then I went into the lounge and saw they had loads of fresh squeezed mandarin orange juice (energy/vitality). I saw it and mentioned that I should make marmalade for them. Entire memories of my last temporary job came to me at this time.

Then I was called to a meeting with the principal. She was very stern with me and gave me an agenda. I was working part-time and she was making sure my time was filled with productivity. There was a feeling that she was suspicious that I was slacking. She told me that she wanted me to give a presentation on loss. She then showed me another counselor who was doing such a presentation. The man was praying (humility) with a student. In the prayer he requested help for the child and his family. I was shocked that he was allowed to pray in school and became distraught when I felt the emotion of the family he was praying for.

I woke up in tears. There was a feeling that I was being asked to consider continuing my work as a counselor. I did not want this and was rejecting the idea. However, there is no indication of such a request. I think I was being asked to evaluate past experiences. The tears came from the end of the dream. I recognized that I have suffered huge loss in this life, loss that never was quite resolved. I also felt extremely lonely. My guidance pointed this out to me saying, “You are lonely.” The homesick feeling was very strong.

Dream: Test

In this dream I was with a couple of groups. The first was made of two men. Both had been drinking heavily (reaching new level of awareness) and one had vomited (letting go) and was cleaning it up. The second group was made of two women and they were going with me to a job interview situation. One woman was needing the job badly and talking about her financial situation. She was young and inexperienced. When we got to the location we were asked to take a test (self-analysis). The tests were on computers. After we were seated we began the test. I knew I had to pass all four sections but I was very nervous. Things kept distracting me. For example, I found several pairs of socks (yielding to others) on the desk, only one pair was mine. Another distraction was the woman sitting next to me. I remember us talking about our eyes and her saying she had a rare and special condition. I can’t recall it now but I do remember looking into her brown eyes for a long time. They were speckled with gold and very unique.

Eventually I was told to log off and given a slip of paper to come in and finish my exam. I asked why and was told it was lunch time. I got irritated at the proctor because the others were still taking their tests. I asked, “Why do they get to stay?” She wouldn’t answer. I realized it was because they were almost done and I was far from done. I stormed out of the building telling then I would not be able to come during the week like they wanted me to and likely would never finish the test.

When I got outside I climbed onto a little moped and drove off. Unfortunately, one of my tires went flat (feeling emotionally flat/tired) leaving me with only two. I remember seeing the tire very vividly as it literally fell off the third wheel.

The last thing I recall was sitting in a movie theater facing a group of kids. They were talking about going out and getting drunk. I remembering thinking I could use a drink, too, but knowing better.

Memories

I woke between each of these dreams and was unable to fall asleep for some time afterward. After the last dream I just stayed awake. While in between dreams I was given messages in the form of visions and music. The main visual I recall was seeing the number 11 very vividly. It started out small, like in the distance, and then got larger and large, closer and closer.

Several songs came to mind. The first two came simultaneously into my mind. This was after I woke from the first dream and was quite upset.

I was hearing, “You are beautiful, no matter what they say” simultaneously with, “I will wait, I will wait for you.” Two completely different songs superimposed in my mind.

The last song came after the second dream and before the third. It returned after I woke from the third as well. The part that kept repeating was, “I wanna dance with somebody. I wanna feel the heat with somebody. I wanna dance with somebody, somebody who loves me.” I suspect this song message is about the Kundalini “dance” of masculine and feminine energies. I have a brief memory from early on in the night where I felt the Kundalini energy throughout my mid-section. It was a pleasant, whirling feeling that, had I been more lucid, would likely have been quite intense and difficult to manage.

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Dream Meeting and 2 OBEs

Yesterday I was hit once again with emotional and physical purging. I didn’t start feeling better until evening. This morning I feel much more like myself. No crying upon waking. In fact, the opposite. A smile in response to a nice OBE.

Dream: Music Discussion

I had a very long dream discussion with a friend. It began with me taking a job as a teaching assistant at an elementary school. I remember little about this part but I do recall that the school had been flooded but the water had receded in the room I was in. I also recall my pay was $8.20/hr.

A man came into the classroom at one point and began talking to me and asking me questions. He was studying music and wanted to know about my music background. We talked about the classes he would need to take and what was involved. I told him I only got a minor in music and went on and on about my school experiences with it. He asked me what instrument I played and I told him, “I don’t. I sing.” We did briefly discuss my playing the saxophone in high school, though. Then I went into detail about my upbringing, my mom, our musical family, and my love of singing. He told me he was looking into music’s applications in spirituality and consciousness expansion which was fascinating to me as well. We discussed brainwave frequencies and their proven effectiveness at shifting a person into the theta and delta brain-wave states. This was his main focus and the discussion seemed to go in this direction for a while but I can’t recall it.

The entire time the man kept sending me a feeling that he wanted to get to know me more intimately.  At first I just kept my distance but it didn’t keep him away. He began to invade my personal space. I kept looking at him to try and figure out who he was. He looked familiar but I could not get a good look because his face was shifty. I only saw his dark hair. At one point he looked deeply into my eyes and said, “Your eyes are SO blue.” I looked back into his brown eyes and thought, “Your eyes are so brown.” lol I never said it aloud, though. Eventually, he got so close that by the end of our conversation we were laying next to each other, his legs and mine intertwined. I remember feeling odd and uncomfortable about the situation but not fighting it.

Messages

When I woke up I knew who the man was and was surprised I recalled so much of our conversation. I asked my guidance about it and shifted into the in-between. I remember seeing and hearing a phone number: 555-666-7777. I also remember hearing, “Three weeks.” There was some sudden Knowing mixed in here, too.

OBE: Open Window

At some point while in the in-between and conversing with my Companion I realized that I could exit my body. I am not sure what triggered my awareness but it was instantaneous. There is a brief feeling of being fully awake that precedes this and a confusion from it because my surroundings were not right.

I move away from my body as soon as I know I am OOB. I do not feel any sensation of exit because I am in a fully lucid experience. I assume I exited a some point after entering the in-between. Immediately I feel super happy. The room is very brightly lit and I recognize it as my old bedroom at my mother’s house. I head toward the window but feel my energy lagging. It feels like my energy is surging but unbalanced and I recognize this. I say aloud, “I am not my body.” I’m not sure why I say this but it helps and I grab onto the window to slide it open worrying briefly that it will be locked. To my delight it opens easily and I poke my head through the opening and take it the brilliant blue sky and greenery of outside.

I am still talking to my Companion the entire time I am OOB. I am super excited and saying, “Look! I did it! I am out of my body!” I laugh at this because it is not a big deal, I do it all the time, but for some reason I felt super accomplished and wanted to share this with him. I don’t see my Companion, though, I just feel his presence.

As I attempt to crawl through the window I have an energy surge and recognize that afterward I am liable to be sucked back into my body. I request clarity and remind myself not to over exert myself because I am still too close to my body. Unfortunately, when I lift myself up into the window a surge of energy hits me and I suddenly feel extremely heavy and cumbersome. I am sucked back into my body before I have a chance to stabilize.

In-Between

I enter into the in-between for a little while after I return to my body. There is a brief memory of seeing that the sun is still not up. I sit up and look at my bedroom window to check. Whether this is a physical memory or an OOB one, I am unsure.

The conversation with my Companion continues while I am in the in-between. We are talking about my current situation, the “preparation” I have been doing and the feelings that I am sorting through. I can’t make sense of the feelings I am having as they don’t seem to apply to me. I request to be balanced and happy again, like I was just a few weeks ago. I tell him I am tired of the sickness and purging. There is profound understanding and clarity during this time. I wish I could remember all that we talked about but it was not in words but in feelings.

There was a flash of 1111 during this time and I remember being told, “You are right on schedule” and me saying, “Really?” Then I recall being given a black jacket that resembled a tight-fitting sweater. I was told, “Wear it. You need protection.” I put it on without hesitation and did not seem to recognize the message for what it was.

OBE: Kisses

At some point I recognize I am still OOB. When I do, I look around me and recognize my old bedroom. What is odd is that my current bed is in the room, too. It’s like the two realities – past and present – are superimposed. I even see both sets of windows. Everything is dark and shifty, though, meaning my mental vision predominates not that I am in the etheric. I have no energy issues this time and feel wonderful and balanced.

I am standing at the foot of my current bed in the space near the foot of my old bed. In front of me is a man. He is taller than me, my head reaches just below his chin. He has brown hair and eyes. When I see him I am elated and wrap my arms around him. He hugs me back and then keeps me close, hands on my waist. I look up at him and take a good look. He looks vaguely familiar but I can’t place him. Is he wearing glasses? I see a glimmer of metal rimmed glasses I think but then they disappear.

What he looks like doesn’t matter, though. It is how he feels that tells me I know him. I say to him, “Hey you!” He looks at me and says, “Hey” and smiles warmly. I am so terribly excited that I grab his face and pull it toward me and kiss him. He kisses back and we kiss each other for a while. It’s not a make-out session but the kisses are passionate and eager, like we haven’t seen each other in a while. I can feel everything about it – him holding me, his warmth, his lips, the love, the friendship. It is so real I am surprised I didn’t wake up!

He turns his face away from mine and interrupts our kisses. I want to keep kissing and feel a bit out of breath. I don’t feel any arousal but there is that desperate wanting for more feeling lingering.

Meanwhile he is focusing on my left arm. He gently slides his right hand down from the elbow and interlaces his right hand into my left. He holds it there and I feel he does this purposefully. I am grateful because my heart chakra is starting to stir along with all the lower chakras. It is slight but there. I look up at him still trying to figure out who he is because I keep feeling like he is my husband but he doesn’t look anything like him. I ask him, “Are you_____ or ______?” He smiles and says, “You know who I am.”

When he said that to me I became very aware and came back to my body. My heart was warm in my chest by this time and my root had a slight swirl of energy. The warmth remained in my heart for a while after waking. Since I have not felt that kind of warmth in my chest for a while (not the heart fire but the bliss), I was pleased. What a nice gift. SO much better than waking up in tears.

 

 

 

 

 

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Glimpse of a Parallel Life

I’ve been sick for about five days now, ever since the K-index began to go into the red. Do I blame the geomagnetic storms? No. I blame my sick family members who passed the cold on to me. lol But it is interesting that the K-index was in the red at the beginning and is now in the red again as the cold is fading. All I’ve felt through these storms is sick so it is hard to say how else they may have affected me. Interestingly, I ran into several others who also had a cold the same time as me, all via the internet and from different states/locations.

Planetary K Index plot

Despite being sick, I’ve had some interesting dream experiences I want to share. It seems like I’ve been in class learning and practicing some of my skills.

Dream: Viewing a Parallel Life

I was given a photo album and asked to open it. Inside there were photographs attached to black pages. Each photograph was of a particular time in my life. I recognized them all but they were slightly different than I remember. Some photos would play videos if you touched them. I watched several of these and when I did it was like I went into the movie and experienced it first-hand.

Most of the videos I watched were from my school years. I recall seeing my family sitting in folding chairs waiting for a school function to begin. I must have been the one they were coming to see because I was not in the video or photos. I saw my little sister, grandmother and her sister, my great-aunt. I remember looking at how their appearances varied from this lifetime, noting the similarities and differences.

In another picture turned video I was shown how the color guard I was a part of in high school was a dance team primarily. In this life we primarily twirled flags.

I watched several movies but eventually an entire lifetime came into my memory, a lifetime very similar to this one with some differences.

I had attended the same school, still had two sisters, still had the same mother and father, still had the same connections. What was odd to me was that I was married to my ex-husband and my current husband was my ex and the father of my daughter. My two sons were not present. Never born. Instead, my half-brother, who my mom adopted in my current life, was my adopted son. Meaning I must have adopted him instead of her.

A huge amount of this parallel life centered around my half brother and his being admitted to a school related to a government program. The school was for an “elite” group of young people who would be groomed to be part of the government military. Strange thing is the government was a religious organization that had somehow been given the authority to rule the country. A theocracy I guess would be the right name. It was a honor to be in this school and my half brother was very proud. He spent his days in a very strict environment where electronics and computer devices were strictly prohibited. I saw the uniforms of the government military and they were all black with two stripes of parallel color from the chest to just below the hip. The colors varied depending on rank/level/appointment. I did not feel this government was bad, just different and in some ways much better than the current government of this lifetime.

When I woke I knew I had been viewing a parallel life and that it was just one of many others. Sadly, I was too sick to care much or to ask questions. I have no idea if I was happy in that life or not.

Dream: Practice

I had this dream this morning. What I recall most about it was being instructed on how to purposefully block and allow certain emotional experiences. The emotions first appeared in the dream as a swirling mass of energy above me. The mass was enormous, big enough to fill a large bedroom. My task was to select from this mass of emotions the ones I wished to experience without becoming overwhelmed by all of the emotion. I selected two and felt them full-on. They were positive emotions for the most part. I remember the feeling slightly and it was pleasant, like peaceful and happy.

There was a section during this time where I had a feeling of being transported in a vehicle. In the back was a blind girl who seemed to represent me in some way. The blindness was a positive in that it helped her to focus on the feelings. At this point I was feeling extremely vulnerable and there was with this an on-the-verge feeling, like a huge anticipation of something to come. Someone asked me if I wanted to stop experiencing the feeling. I said I did and the blind girl said very loudly, “I’ve had enough of feeling vulnerable.” The feeling stopped then and I woke very suddenly from the dream knowing something important had been going on.

I was told that I had been practicing choosing and blocking emotion. I was reminded that everything we experience is our choice.

Not long after I fell back to sleep and ended up with a massive energy in my root chakra that seemed to linger for a very long time. Again, I was too tired to care and despite being very lucid and even waking up several times throughout, I shrugged it off. That is a good sign because the root energy is not easy to ignore! Perhaps the lesson on choosing emotion extends to choosing sensation, too?

 

 

 

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More Preparation – Influence of the Four Directions 

This morning’s Kundalini experience. I’m researching the four directions and their link to the Kundalini and Hieros Gamos. Any input appreciated. Thanks for reading. 🙂

Dayna's avatarA Walk-In Life

I knew Easter day would result in another Kundalini experience, and I was not wrong. I fell asleep around 10pm. The last thing I heard was my Companion telling me, “See you soon”.

Sadly, most of the context of the experience is lost to me now. I must have been really tired so lucidity was low. What I do recall vividly is going through rooms with a woman who I considered my “best friend” and thus recognized her as my best friend from high school. I now know this was just my mind trying to make sense of an experience it could not fully understand. My “best friend” is, of course, my Companion. He has been slowly shifting his appearance for me as requested so I rarely see him in his typical brown hair, brown eyed form now days. Though he still does use it to mess with me (grrr!).

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Final Preparations Continue

Had a full moon Kundalini lucid dream experience last night within an hour of falling asleep. It was another preparation for the full rising. Based on the dream symbolism I suspect more Kundalini dreams/experiences will be coming by Easter. Thanks for reading. ❤

Dayna's avatarA Walk-In Life

Last night while meditating my Companion told me he would be meeting me later that night. By the time I was in bed doing my nightly meditation I had all but forgotten about it. While meditating he reminded me. I had noticed a difference in the energy throughout the day and by this time it was very acute. So, I did not doubt my Companion would do what he said.

EFT

While meditating I was led to do something I have never done. I began to tap with three fingers on certain points on my body. At first I did this on my pelvis quite unconsciously but was led to pay attention to what I was doing. Next, I felt led to tap on the space just above my heart. After that I felt drawn to tap on my left wrist area. Then I was drawn to tap on the spaces right…

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Dream: Meeting Tom Selleck

Well, not exactly Tom Selleck. The man I saw had chest hair like him and I thought of Tom Selleck when I saw/felt his chest hair. lol

Anyway, the night began with a mixture of dreams that involved me and others learning how to control a body. In the dreams we were a good distance away from the bodies. So far in fact that they resembled game pieces rather than physical bodies. I don’t remember much of the experience. It seemed to vanish upon waking. What I do recall is that when I woke it was from the Kundalini. Energy entered through my crown, shot down to my root and exploded back upward. My body’s response is what finally woke me up. The feeling was that I watched the energy as it poured through my “game piece” body but also felt what the body felt. When I woke I understood that it had been a lesson, a hands-on type of practice, to better understand how to handle the physical sensations of the body.

I am grateful the Kundalini was muted.

Dream: Meeting Tom Selleck

I was at the dentist’s office and was being told the treatment I would need. What I saw was an image of my lower jaw with teeth made of metal. I was told the coming surgery and reassured it would be okay and I would have ample anesthesia so it wouldn’t hurt that much. It made me anxious, though.

Sometime during the conversation I ended up in my old bedroom at my mom’s. Next to me was the dentist, a man a bit older than me with dark hair and eyes. I recall laying my head on his hairy chest and he allowed this. It felt nice but I wanted to be closer. The next thing I know he is laying on top of me. I attempt to kiss him. He turns his head away and does not allow me to. I can feel him resist and then reject me. There is a telepathic exchange here. He reminds me that we can’t do anything romantic.

He explains himself to me and this is when I see his hairy chest. I feel it, too. It is thick and dark and I am reminded of Tom Selleck for some reason. From that point on when I see this man I think “Tom Selleck”. lol

Throughout our telepathic exchange I keep being interrupted by my children with this or that kind of “emergency”. I lose track of where the man is and assume he has left but then see his white pick-up truck parked outside. It feels like a day or so has passed and I am so distracted I forget to look for him. I pause and check for his truck. It is still parked outside.

I walked outside noting the truck still parked there. It is nighttime but I see chickens out in the yard. I yell to my mom, “Hey, did you know your chickens are out and awake!?” I nearly step on a dead one. I nudge it with my foot and think, “They are all dying.”

The man comes up and stands next to me. He just appears out of nowhere, like he has been waiting for me. He says, “We shouldn’t give up…” He was about to continue when my daughter came running outside crying. The man puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close. I let him. My heart feels to burst open. I don’t linger, though, but break away to deal with my daughter. She is hysterical over math homework. I go inside with her and forget about the man.

Then I am watching a scene unfold. There is a woman (mother?) tending to her many children. The youngest is sick and dying. I see the baby in a bath. I think he is dead but his eyes are open and he looks alive yet I hear the prognosis and it is not good. I see my youngest child’s name spelled out in large, white letters. Then the mother is outside with a man. A letter falls from the sky and he opens it. I then recall saying, “But I’ve lost so many babies, I can’t lose anymore…”

I shift back to my mom’s house. I am kneeling by the wood fence in the back picking up fallen leaves that have gathered near its base. I feel the man approach. He wants my attention. I can hear his thoughts and feel his emotion. He doesn’t want me to give up on him. He comes closer, kneeling and helping me gather up the leaves. My heart begins to explode in love for him but I resist, focusing on a leaf I am placing in my left hand. I feel him pleading with me. He tells me that he thinks we can make it through this together. I want to embrace him and tell him I want what he wants, but I don’t. I just allow him to be close and continue to pick up the leaves. My heart is exploding and I am so happy for him to be there. It is the most amazing feeling and I want to feel it forever but I also feel I can’t trust my heart. Following it only leads to pain. I begin to cry.

I wake up crying. My heart continues to blaze for a long while after. I can’t sleep for a while but do eventually fall back to sleep.

Interpretation

The symbolism indicates that I am struggling with feelings of rejection. The fact that the man is my dentist means I am doubting his sincerity and honor. Surgery means an opening of the Self and/or healing. A pick-up symbolizes hard work and/or something that needs to be “picked up”. The chickens represent cowardliness but since they are “all dying” then perhaps courage is forthcoming? The babies are ideas and new beginnings. They are sick/dying so I feel a loss of hopes/dreams/new beginnings. The letter from the sky is a message to me but I don’t read it. I mention that I can’t handle more loss. The fence is an obstacle. The leaves represent fallen hopes, despair and sadness. I am cleaning them up. Leaves could also be a pun for actually “leaving” a situation behind me.

kundalini-snake

Lucid Dream Sequence 

When I return to sleep I entered into a dream sequence where I know I am dreaming. Even in recognizing it, though, I choose to follow the dream rather than create it.

In the beginning the lucidity comes on when I am trying to determine if the Tom Selleck dream really happened or was a dream. I have an internal debate and then decide I am dreaming. This is when I made the decision to let the dream show me what I need to know.

I recall being told something would take 32 weeks. I don’t know what but the number stuck.

I also spend a lot of this dream cleaning up messes – picking up after my children and cleaning in general.

There is a part of the dream where I am asked to return to the temporary job I just had. I am suspicious, though, asking, “What happened to the woman who came back to work?” I enter my old office but it is a portable building and when I open the door water cascades out. I walk inside and see the computer and office was not harmed. The water was only a couple of feet high. I look at a TV screen playing and tap it to see if it is solid. It is. I lose interest and leave. I don’t care if anyone has left me an email message.

Then as I am walking out of the building I encounter a woman. She is dressed in black and holding a machine gun. I go up to her to kiss her and she stops me telling me I need to do something first. I notice she has a full beard and comment on it. She doesn’t respond.

I head outside and there is a man with red hair standing there. He also has a full beard. For some reason I decide to kiss him. When I do it feels like a cylinder is placed into my mouth and all the way down my throat. I feel unable to breathe through my nose at this time, too. The cylinder remains and then another one feels to be placed into my root chakra. It extends all the way up into my 2nd chakra. The feeling is so weird! The cylinders feel like contained energy. It seems like the two cylinders are trying to join in the middle of my body.

The bottom cylinder distracts me and I attempt to pull it out but can’t. So I pull the one out of my mouth. It is like I pull out a huge snake! I’m surprised I didn’t gag.

When I wake up my root chakra is a ball of swirling energy that feels heavy and makes the area seem almost numb.

Interpretation

I suspect this dream sequence was to show me the areas I am still healing. The temporary job I had was during an especially emotional time. The water indicates the emotion. I am putting it behind me, though.

The woman that has a beard represents me and my decision to be more assertive in my life, to take charge and be more masculine. She says, “Not yet”. She is holding a machine gun which is anger and aggression that is out of control. Then I end up with the man with a beard. Beards are insight and wisdom. Since his hair is red it could be that I am attempting to address my anger.