Tag Archives: Totems

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Ice Storm 2023

It seems each year brings at least one major weather event (lately more than one). This year brought a particularly severe ice storm to my area. I’ve not seen this much ice since my high school years! The storm brought severe destruction to the areas trees which in turn damaged property.

It has been especially sad to see many very old Live Oak trees completely destroyed. Live Oaks keep their leaves through the winter months and, with the ice coating all their leaves and branches plus a second round of rain the night of the 2nd and morning of the 3rd, they just couldn’t handle the strain. In two of the pictures above, 25+ year old trees were completely decimated. They make a scary sound when they break under the strain of the ice, too. It sounded like thunderclaps. I imagined a massive giant walking over the top of them, snapping them in half with each heavy step.

Though my neighborhood didn’t lose power, many around us and across the area did. In fact, Austin is still trying to restore power to over 100,000 people. My kids’ school was canceled Tuesday – Friday. I’ve not been able to work because the power at the main office has been out since Wednesday. My mom and step-dad, who live 40 minutes north of us in a rural area have been without power for days. Power is expected to be restored sometime today.

A Message from the Birds

The day aftre the ice storm hit I saw a Great Horned Owl in a tree behind our house. This is unusual. I’ve never seen one in the 8+ years we’ve lived here. It was being harassed by two crows. They wouldn’t leave it alone. It was close enough that I got it on video. The argument lasted a good half hour and then the owl finally left. 

Pictures below are screenshots from the video.

Owls = wisdom and foresight. Crows = transformation and change. I see the interaction between the owl and crows as an indication that something will bring me wisdom and foresight in life. With the insight gained changes may result. Considering what happened next, I think the owl and crows might have been a warning of what was to come. 

When the morning of the 3rd came around I twice ignored my intuition and it cost me. Firstly, I told my husband to take down the zip line because I suspected a tree limb or tree would fall on it and hit the line which would then destroy the side of the house. He did nothing and I forgot about it. In the past, tree limbs have fallen and caused minor damage, and I had a gut feeling it would happen again. There is a massive tree in the creek area that always loses large limbs and I specifically had a vision of this happening again. Yet, once I told my husband, I forgot all about it. I’m not sure why.

At 2am, February 3rd, a loud boom woke everyone up. It sounded like a bomb went off. Turns out a tree limb fell on the zip line. It was huge and the force of it on the line busted the corner of the house in the master bedroom. The destruction was so bad that from inside of the house you could see outside via a crack along the corner. Siding and insulation was thrown all over the back yard.

I insisted my husband take down the zip line right then and there because another impact would surely take off the entire side of the house. He took it down. Half an hour later, another massive branch fell. Had the line been up, the wall would likely have not been able to handle it.

I had a thought after this happened that I should move our van. I didn’t because it appeared to be far enough away from a tree. Plus, it was sealed shut by over an inch of ice and it was 2am. Two hours later several branches fell on it, busting the side mirror and denting the top.

So in these examples my foresight was not utilized and negative events transpired. In the end, thankfully, the material cost has not been high. My husband has already fixed the house and the van is scheduled to be repaired on Friday. The only cost will be our deductible and the few supplies needed to fix the house. 

Honestly, this small amount of excitement has been better than the boring, mundane drudgery that is the norm. I remember taking a walk the morning after all the destruction thinking it a blessing to have something interesting finally happen, something within our means to easily navigate. When it all happened I responded pretty well, too. A decade ago it would’ve been too much for me. I would’ve most likely been in tears. That I was able to return to sleep after all the destruction speaks for itself!

As I type this I can’t help but think of the image of the owl as it sat through the crow harassment. It was very passive for the most part, only jumping up a few times when the crows got to close but not in defense of itself, just to avoid their beaks. The owl is my main totem in this life. I’ve seen them since childhood and had close encounters as well. For example, when I was around 6 my dad hit one with his car and retrieved it from the ditch. I recall it coming to life, spreading its huge wings and being set free. It was magnificent! Just before Christmas, 2022, I purchased an owl incense holder, too. So, as recently as December, the owl has been making its presence known.

So, as far as the crow-owl event, I will take it as a message to remain the observer and only take action when the time is right. The crows indicate the right time will be obvious, probably annoying or maybe just a tad uncomfortable. And, from now on, LISTEN to my intuition when it warns me of something to come. Had I just followed through, this storm wouldn’t have caused us any problems whatsoever. But then perhaps I wanted/needed a little excitement? Hmmm. My husband and I did begin to laugh after the van was hit. What else could we do? It was better than the alternative. I think this is why we were both able to go back to sleep despite the ice chaos and continued thunderclaps of breaking branches going on all around us.

Praying for all those who were not so fortunate during this ice storm.

Here are some pictures of the damage to our house and car. I only have a picture of the inside of the house, sorry, and it was taken after my husband had already reattached the wall. Before you could see through to the outside at the corner. The outside was pretty bad. The side of the house was not connected at the roof and all the siding was gone.

****All pictures were taken by me between the dates of 2/2-2/4/2023. The featured image of the Cardinal in the iced branches is also mine. Please do not duplicate or use without my permission.****

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Crayfish Totem

Had an encounter with a crayfish yesterday. It prompted me to return to this post from 2015, which was the last time I saw a crawdad/crayfish.

Dayna's avatarLiving Life in Between

I was reminded yesterday morning of a recent outing with my children. I had taught them how to catch minnows in the creek with a net. In the process of doing this, I saw a crawdad and caught it quickly. I showed them. We touched it and marveled at it. And I had fun. I felt like a kid again.

I use to spend hours as a kid catching crawdads. I told my children stories of how I waded through knee high mud, invading crawdad homes and catching all sizes. I told them the story of the mammoth crawdad I caught that was the size of a lobster. And I told them stories of how I collected their claws, explaining that they grew back and how I never once got pinched.

I was reminded by seeing in my mind the picture of the crawdad I caught that day (pictured above)…

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Keep Calm: The Earth is Purging

The Earth is purging. It has been for a long time now.

Years ago when I had my first precognition visions (unwanted at that) I was shown natural disasters (fires, floods, viruses, drought, migration) to the point of crippling the population and economy, leading to wars, riots, destruction. Massive population movement (displacement) all over the world because of the changes in climate. Water levels rising and flooding populations close to the coastlines, rising up the Mississippi river and other large rives, flooding beyond record levels. That was in 2002 and covered “the next 50 years”. We aren’t even halfway through yet.

I was shown back in 2002 to stay put, location-wise, for a reason. No flooding here. No earthquakes. Climate change would be more positive, in that it would be wetter – similar to the sub-tropics. The Equator will shift as the poles shift, moving the tropics and sub-tropics from the positions they are in now, shifting that weather north in some areas and south in others. I happen to be in the north side of it.

When the fires hit the US I kept hearing from my guides, “Purge by fire”. When the flooding was happening in the US, it was, “Purge by water.” I heard the same with various other natural disasters as they happened happened around the world.

The Corona virus is no different, it’s just “Purge by disease.”

The Earth can only take so much. There are too many people and that number is rising. We are taking more than we need, using up Earth’s bounty, sucking her dry.

When animal populations rise too much, the Earth naturally fixes the problem. Either food becomes scarce, disease spreads quickly or some other method or combinations of methods is used to slow the population rise and maintain balance. Yet humans think we are somehow immune from this. We believe we are “superior”. So we develop ways to avoid the natural process and our population swells to numbers far beyond Earth’s ability to cope. The tipping point is here, though, and if we are smart we will listen to the Earth’s cries.

If a virus doesn’t kill off millions, something else will. The Earth is purging and will continue to.

Resisting the changes won’t help. Remaining calm and centered will. The herd mentality creates more problems, leads to panic and people acting illogically. Quarantining people in their homes for weeks won’t make it go away, it only slows it down. Other virus’ exist, some we don’t even know about, some we do. Are we going to be in quarantine forever? Contact with other humans is inevitable – needed.

I find it interesting also that I just finished watching the show 12 Monkeys which is about a virus that wipes out almost all of the world population. Ha! Not a sync I missed.

I saw a post yesterday that speaks so much about this virus situation. It resonated with me completely.

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When I observe people both online and in my day-to-day living, I see evidence of these three groups, have for a long while now.

The 4D group is very active on FB and other social media. This person or that is a “pedophile”, the virus is a “hoax”, “Team Dark” is trying to destroy the Light, the elite are using us a pawns, etc. It is not that they are “wrong”. It is very likely such hidden agendas are in the works (probably, actually). But becoming enmeshed in such things acts only to distract them, distancing them further from the inner work that needs to be done.

The fear mongers are frantic. They are the ones I avoid when I go out in public because their fear is broadcast in their energy and makes me feel generally icky. The amount of fear varies, of course, from severe paranoia to mere anxiety, but they are all being controlled by it, not listening to their inner Knowing but instead seeking out the most recent news and then spreading the fear to others in various ways.

The 5D individuals are less openly obvious. They are the quiet ones for the most part. Observing, allowing – centered in their hearts and in their Knowing. They stand centered in Self, watching the world around them without judgement but with compassion.

I feel I am more in line with the 5D group. I struggle with remaining neutral, though. When I see the conspiracy posts on FB or other social media I want to write something to try and show them how distracted they are, but I stay silent. It is the same with those consumed by fear. It will do no good to try and force them to see things the way I do. They are going through their own process, as we all are, and no one path is alike.

So I remain quiet more than not. When I go out in public I smile, I remain calm, I am friendly. Just yesterday when I was out shopping, an employee of the store was also shopping and approached me, smiling and friendly. When he got too close he backed up suddenly and apologized, saying he should not get too close with the virus so near. I smiled, laughed and reassured him that I had no fear whatsoever of becoming infected. He looked positively relieved and began to relax, smiling and continuing to share his story and thoughts. I listened and allowed him to release some of his pent up emotion and fear.

Yet in the same trip as I was checking out I must have gotten too close and the man in front of me stiffened as if he were going to catch fire or drop dead. I backed off, smiled and remained pleasant.

I will leave you all with a positive sign I received two days ago on a trip to see my Mom, who lives about 40 minutes away in the country. It was a pleasant visit and toward the end we were blessed with visit by a Polyphemus moth. My step-father gently picked it up and held it and after a while it flew off into the distance. We were all in awe of its beauty and presence.

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The symbolism of the moth was not lost on me. I knew it was a message. Here is the message of the moth:

moth symbolism

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Full Moon Skunk Encounter

I’ve been meaning to write but just haven’t followed through. I was waiting for something to shift, for my monkey mind to quiet down a bit more and for my body to feel less “off”. Yesterday all these things were beginning to line up and this morning it seems to be holding steady…..so far anyway.

Full Moon Skunk Encounter

But before I get ahead of myself, let’s go back to the 12th. I took Monty on a walk in the evening, just as the sun was setting. I saw the full moon in the distance so walked into an open field to get a better look. I stopped and marveled at its beauty, took a couple of photos and turned around to leave. That’s when I saw it. A skunk, walking toward me, nose down and completely unaware of me and my dog. Shocked, I stood and watched, knowing this was a message and to pay attention. The skunk lumbered toward me and Monty, happily feasting on grubs and oblivious to our presence. I took some photos and stuck around a while because I have never been that close to a skunk. I’ve seen them from my car but never without something between me and the skunk.

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Photo of skunk in low light so quite blurry but you get the idea. 😉 

The full moon itself marks the peak of a cycle. It brings illumination and clarity. It heightens awareness and intensifies dream activity. It brings insight into past patterns and assist us in using that knowledge to better prepare for the future.

The skunk’s main message is “do no harm”. It reminds us that there are times when we must defend ourselves, yes, but to remember to do so in a way that does not hurt or damage others.

In times where threats are not imminent, the skunk reminds us to be patient, prudent and silent. Like Mr. Skunk showed me in that field, sometimes it is best to mind our own business, to be self-assured and confident in our own path while allowing others to follow theirs. Mr. Skunk may have known all along that me and Monty were there observing him but he went his merry way to the point of coming directly toward us, tail in the air as if to say, “I see you but I am not afraid.”

Overall, seeing Mr. Skunk brought me great joy and I carried that with me all the way home, sharing the pictures and video with my family. My children were especially fascinated because to them a skunk was just an unpleasant smell. Now they know they are quite cute and almost….cuddly. lol

More Panic

Friday and Saturday brought more uneasiness and anxiety, unfortunately. I just felt overly aware of everything that was going on with my body. My heart space felt odd and that would lead to my focusing on the feeling and it increasing to the point that I would become nervous about it. My heart rate would increase and an overall ill feeling would come over me.

Saturday I asked my husband to go on a walk with me because the feeling was making it very hard for me to function. Thankfully the walk seemed to tone it down and all odd heart sensations vanished. They returned the end of the day on yet another walk but I was able to manage it, but I felt like a failure since I know it is my thoughts that is fueling the incidences.

Sunday I woke feeling much better. So much so that I opted to do a workout and see if I could avoid another exercise induced panic attack. I started with a walk. Sadly, the panic began to set in but this time I opted to sing a song to myself as a distraction. I chose a song my grandmother use to sing on her many walks – One Day at a Time. As soon as I started to sing a huge bubble of emotion formed in my chest and went up into my throat. I began to cry and the pressure in my throat released. I continued to sing, allowing the emotion to flow and suddenly it felt as if I were floating rather than walking down the sidewalk. I had the strangest sense that I was OOB and the world around me a dream.

I made it home and took a short break before continuing with my weight lifting routine, one I hadn’t done in over a week. The first part was rough, though, because every time my heart rate went up I began to panic a little. I kept having to talk myself down and take breaks. Eventually, though, something clicked. I remember the song One Day at a Time and the strange release I had during my walk. I went down stairs briefly and when I returned it was like I did a 180. I felt revived with zero fear and completed my workout with gusto. When it was all over I felt wonderful, as if I had slayed the anxiety dragon.

This morning it was so nice outside that I decided to do a short run-walk interval (about 20 minutes). I stayed close to the house and did the intervals without ending up in panic mode. However, when I checked my heart rate later when reviewing my run it had gotten pretty high toward the end, much higher than it should have been. Just seeing that my heart rate went so high with so little exertion worried me and so then I had to work through some rising pangs of panic. Thankfully nothing major. Obviously I have some issues relating to fear of death coming up that need to be sorted. The last thing I want to do is avoid future issues by completely ceasing all exercise. I just have to take it a bit slower and easier than I am use to and be kind and loving to myself.

Messages

Interestingly, my dreams over the weekend indicated some deep healing work was taking place, specifically on my heart. My guidance indicated that the work was nearly complete and to allow and thoroughly feel the emotions that were being released. There was incidences prior to sleep where I tuned into my heart space and got brief glimpses into the blockage there. When the emotion came up, it came up in spurts that lasted only moments. With each rise of emotion came tears, a feeling of pressure in my throat and a sense of release, as if my body was throwing off a heavy burden.

In those brief moments of release I made sure I paid attention to how the energy moved and how my body responded. The energy would rise from my core in waves, traveling up the sides of my body and converging in my throat where they would form a knot of energy. It seemed the only way to release the knot was to make noise – a sigh, a gasp, anything worked.

When the episodes passed I found myself longing for them to return. Not because I enjoyed the emotion but because I was fascinated by the process.

That same night I was asked by my guidance if perhaps it was time to “turn over a new leaf” and “start a new chapter” in my life. I am not exactly sure what this may be in reference to but message noted.

Realization

I recognized that the heart sensations I had been feeling were nothing unusual. I have felt them in the past. Heart chakra pressure and pulling indicating a blockage being released. I had felt them numerous times in the past. Yet for some odd reason this time around I associated the feeling with a physical body issue. Probably because the panic episode I had at the end of August felt so very much like I was dying.

I have been paying more attention to how the panic episodes make me feel. The feelings leading up to the attacks are generally a feeling of uneasiness, a kind of light-headedness, and then strange tingly feelings up and down my arms. Sometimes my head hurts and I feel tired or shaky, but this seems only to happen when my blood sugar is low. For example, the headache will come out of the blue accompanied by shakiness and if I don’t stop right then and eat something then I will end up with a pounding heart which causes the panic. Generally the panic attacks last no more than a 5 minutes unless low blood sugar is involved, then they can last much longer.

The full-blown panic attacks that make me feel like I am dying cause my heart to pound to the point of breathlessness and my chest to feel weird. The first one of those I had dates all the way back to 2003 (during meditation no less)! It makes me certain I will pass out and die. It is hard to shut down those kinds of thoughts but it is possible. Unfortunately, the whole experience leaves me exhausted and dreading it happening again.

I’ve had my most recent panic issues on and off for a while now (since 2016) – when running, when in public places, when drinking alcohol – but the panic attacks began to escalate after September last year. Since then I have been having more and more incidences of panic and they have been increasingly more alarming. My best guess is that a massive clearing began at some point last year and has been in process ever since. It feels like yet another layer of crap being released. I can only hope that what my guidance has been telling me – that it will be over soon – is true.

 

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The Power of Thought

So yesterday I realized that I need to have better control over my thoughts. I had to run errands and drive to several place and was beginning to worry. That is when my guidance gave me a nudge, reminding me of what I have have long been aware of: My thoughts create my reality.

Yeah, yeah. You are thinking, “Duh! How could she forget?” I don’t think I have forgotten. I think I have been distracted and falling into old habits and patterns which is much easier to do than focus on controlling my thoughts.

Yesterday in the car I saw distinctly that I needed to just shut down my monkey mind. It isn’t that I have to constantly be observing my mind chatter, either. All I have to do is listen to my body. When I feel “off” – anxious, sick, uneasy, sweaty, uncomfortable, etc – I need to look to my thoughts. More than likely I will find that I am thinking something negative. If I turn off those thoughts and focus on something positive the discomfort or symptom(s) begins to fade.

I tried it in the car. My body was giving me the first signs of a panic attack – uneasiness, sweaty palms, irregular breathing, nervousness and various worry thoughts. I looked to my thoughts and shut down the negative ones and replaced them with how I wanted to feel and be in that moment. For example, rather than think, “Oh no, it is gonna happen again” I thought, “Everything is fine. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

All the symptoms vanished.

It was so obvious in that moment that I had been creating my reality. Why now, after over 4 decades of life, it is manifesting in physical body issues? Well, I have been warned for some time now that my manifestation abilities are heightened now so there is an acceleration in the results. So rather than the delay I am use to it is more immediate. This is good and bad. Good in that I can really get to work on shifting my life. Bad in that if I allow my monkey mind too much control I end up with very uncomfortable physical symptoms.

It goes back to the “other me” that I have been feeling and hearing in the background. She is fearful and has a kind of death wish thing going on. I have to help her and heal her but I also cannot give her so much power over my life. She is the wounded aspect of me. My inner child. The “walk-out” who just won’t let go. Maybe all three in one. She runs on auto-pilot, instinct and emotion.

And I wondered to myself how I could fall back into old patterns so easily? I saw instantly it was purposeful.

Gecko

On August 22 I had an encounter with the biggest gecko I have ever seen around my house. He was a good 6 inches long and I have only ever seen small, 1-2 inch ones.

This morning on my way into the house I turned and saw another massive gecko near the front door. When he saw me he ran and hid. I turned and saw three babies on the door all much bigger than what I normally see.

I could not get a photo of the geckos this morning but I did get some of the first big one back in August. Here they are:

It was immediately obvious to me to pay attention to the message of the gecko.

The Gecko teaches us to do what we must in struggles, there may be opposing energies at play in our lives and you are reminded not to be passive. While the Gecko is naturally harmless, it is not afraid to bite if provoked. If you prevent opposition from occurring now, you will prevent it in the future. You may experience greater dream activity at this time and Gecko advises you to pay attention to what is revealed. It is a time to do what you must to restore order and bring an end to any conflicts. Gecko teaches the importance of righteous anger and reminds you to use it.

Interestingly enough, when I saw this morning’s gecko I was thinking about my dreams, dreams that points to upcoming change and difficulty.

Dream: Audit

I was in a big library talking to a woman about a credit card I had just gotten. She was warning me of the fine print, saying I should have read it because there was a clause that stated that after a certain amount of time the card company would audit (period of examination) me. I was pleased that I had paid off the card and not used it and thought this would save me from the possibility of an audit. The lady told me that it would happen anyway and to have all documentation ready.

I don’t remember much of the location where this happened except large books on book shelves. They looked old and like encyclopedias (knowledge, wisdom). The woman seemed to be a friend but I can’t remember what she looked like.

The dream shifts and I am on this steep, rocky road (life path) with the woman and another woman. The card company is coming to do the audit. I am walking down to meet them. I recall large, white boulders (obstacles, problems) in the road. It was very, very steep to the point that I had to look down as I walked to avoid tripping and injuring myself.

At one point there was a large aircraft. Maybe a plane (journey, transcendence), hard to remember. It came sliding down the steep driveway and scooped us up. I remember being inside it and knowing it was going way too fast so I ran up the tail end and jumped out the back which was open. I stood watching the others fly to the bottom of the road in the plane and make it down safely.

There is memory of four viles of blood (vitality, energy) that needed to be tested. This felt to be part of the audit but I am not sure how. I just remember seeing the viles.

Dream: Relocating to Montana

I arrived at a house located in the mountains of Montana (spiritual achievement). It was way high up in the mountains and there were no other people or houses to be seen for miles. All I could see were fields of sage and massive purple mountains all around me. The view was fantastic!

There was a discussion about the weather for the week. I remember hearing snow (frozen emotion) for three days followed by rain (achievement, success). I asked how it would make for traveling. Wouldn’t it really mess up the roads? I saw in my mind snow being melted by the rain and worried a bit about black ice, but I never saw any ice.

I went outside to enjoy the view while the sun was still shining. It was summer and the sky seemed never-ending. My thoughts were on how I needed to enjoy it while it lasted because summers were short and winters were brutal. Memories of when I lived in Montana came to mind. Memories of walking to school in winter and seeing the majestic mountains covered in snow with the sun just peaking over the top. It always took my breath away! It was also brutally cold and miserable. But those brief moments of purple mountains on calm, clear mornings made it all worthwhile.

I saw two cars parked nearby and decided to take photos of their license plates. I don’t know why I did this except that maybe I needed proof that I was really in Montana. What is odd is that the back plates were missing on both cars. So I went to the front (movement forward) and saw the plates. One had the letter “Q” so I went to the other one that had a more normal plate number.

I knelt down in the partially snow covered grass to take a picture. That is when I heard a car coming up the drive. I looked up and saw a white delivery truck. A man got out and came toward me with papers.

The man looked like an Alaska native, short with black hair and a fat, flat nose. He asked for me and I stood up, explaining why I had been on the ground. He handed me the papers and said that I was being served. He showed me the papers and said, “We will need new contact information for you. Your number is out of service.” I said, “Oh yes. I got a new phone number when I moved here.” Saying this made me feel proud and a little excited. The move felt permanent.

Papers in my hand, I looked at them and saw some very huge numbers – like $200K in money owed. I spoke with the man for a while about the papers and money saying that it was weird that the company said they would handle the blood tests (viles from previous dream) for a certain amount but when I decided to go another, less expensive route, they claim I owe them more.

It felt like I was being sued (justice) in the dream but I didn’t seem to care.

Considerations

Overall the dream made me feel good, which is odd because I was being audited and then sued. The Montana dream felt to be the most important. The message I got from it was the enjoy the moment. It also hints of the calm before the storm, those moments when things are beautiful and calm and then the ones that are the opposite. I seem to understand that those small moments of clarity and beauty are to be cherished and I attempt to do just that in the dream. It was so beautiful and every time I return to Montana in my dreams I am blown away by the beauty and wish I could be there again. Then I remember the harsh winters and change my mind. It just doesn’t feel worth it.

Perhaps that is how I have been viewing life, too? There seem way more bad times than good. I struggle to enjoy the good times because I am always anticipating the bad ones.

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Message: Slow Down, Don’t Fall Off the Edge

Sunday I went to the funeral of the man who set himself on fire in our old house. I didn’t really want to go but felt I should.

The funeral was nice and, as most funerals do, it focused on only the positive about the deceased. There was quite a bit of crying and sharing of stories. I managed okay by keeping a tight reign on my energy field so as to not over empathize. At one point, though, my guidance suggested I open up a bit. When I did, I felt the presence of Spirit to my left, felt the grief wash over me and heard a quiet, “Thank you.” I knew it was from the deceased and rather than become emotional like everyone else, I pulled my energy back but not before my eyes got teary.

At the end we went outside for the military honors portion which was a first for me. My mom and step-father were there so we all went out to eat dinner afterward. It was a very enjoyable dinner with lots of laughing and good conversation.

Since the funeral I have not felt the deceased around. I think he may have moved on, or at least away from me, but then I have been quite distracted so it could just be I am not noticing him because of that. It appears that there was a warning in the “fire” of the man’s passing, a warning of the Kundalini’s return. I have been having waves of the energy rushing through me, lighting up my third-eye, heart, solar plexus, throat, and root (almost all of my chakras). It got so intense that I gratefully immersed myself in my normal exercise routine to ground the energy.

When I woke this morning the energy was present again, only this time in my second chakra and crown.

All throughout I have been sensing a message of, “Slow down” and “Take it slow” from my guidance. Funny enough, as if to push the point, I had a wonderful encounter with a very large turtle in my back yard last night. We have a creek that runs along the border of our property. Just recently it flooded quite severely but the water receded as soon as the rain stopped. The turtle was likely seeking a reprieve from too much water, sunning himself near the water’s edge. Despite myself and my entire family getting very close, he refused to move. He looked like a large, moss covered rock, ancient and strong.

Along with the message of “slow down”, I have also been receiving warnings. Specifically I have heard, “Passion is a double edge sword.” With it comes a visual of walking on a tightrope. Don’t fall off the edge….

Another message came in the song, Borderline, by Madonna. Specifically, “You keep pushing my love over the borderline.”

Dreams

I’ve been sleeping deeply without too many dream memories upon waking. I recall one dream from last night where I was de-cluttering my daughter’s room. What is most memorable is her closet. She had been using it as a shower and so the clothing and furniture that was near it was becoming soaked. I went directly to it and began to move the items away. I found a huge bundle of belts (feeling conflict between what I think and what I feel). More than any person could ever wear. I was saying, “Why do you have so many belts? You don’t even wear belts.” I took them and separated out the majority for donation.

Inside her closet there were clothes on the floor. I picked up two coats (protection) and put them on hangers. They were her brother’s coats, not hers. Near the closet was a small nightstand with drawers. I had to move it across the room but there was not any space left. So I set it on top of her dresser. When I did this, the table morphed into a white tank or aquarium (emotions yet to be confronted, feeling of going in circles). Inside was a set up for a turtle or similar. The tank filled partially with water when I set it on the dresser.

Considerations

When I woke I was full of thoughts over how to reconcile the human and spiritual sides of myself. The two must be in balance and if they aren’t then problems or conflict will occur. What the spiritual desires the physical side may not yet be ready to embrace. The dream seemed to echo my thoughts, especially in the cluttered room and the multitude of belts.

 

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Big Cat Dream Theme

I keep having crazy dreams with big cats in them. It started off with tigers, shifted to lions and then morphed into all sorts of big cats together.

Here is the progression thus far:

First dream I recall is being in a fenced, paved area. It was full of tigers, all of which were completely soaked and waterlogged looking. I walked through the group of 10+ tigers calmly, petting each of them as I passed, and talking to them. They felt like my pets.

In another dream I was handling tiger cubs. I don’t recall much from this dream except sitting amidst an entire litter of them and thinking them cute.

Last night I had a dream where I was on top of a building that was at least 5 stories high. I was hanging off a flag pole. Below me were various big cats seeming to wait for me to fall so they could eat me. One was on the roof looking down at me. I believe it was a leopard because I distinctly recall seeing spots. Someone below shot one of the big cats – a lion. I knew it was to distract the other big cats so they would forget me. Sure enough, once the lion was wounded all the other big cats converged upon it to eat it. They began to fight over it and I watched as they tore at its flesh and fought one another off. The leopard above me jumped down to join the feast. I was clear to crawl up and get away but the dream ended there.

These are just the dreams that pop into my head. I believe I already wrote about others I’ve had prior to this post. This one and this one for starters.

I can’t help but wonder – Why am I dreaming of big cats all of a sudden?

Firstly, in my most recent dream, the leopard stood out.

Together, the big cats symbolize the following:

  • Passion & Sensuality
  • Courage
  • Strength
  • Cunning
  • Vision
  • Confidence
  • Power
  • Agility
  • Flexibility
  • Action
  • Patience
  • Leadership
  • The Feminine

My intuition tells me that all these dreams about big cats are showing me something about myself that either I am not acknowledging or am afraid of.

Taken along with the dream I had last night about conquering an evil, domineering, controlling, slave-driving woman, it seems I am working on addressing my power and fear of abusing that power, or using it for the wrong reasons and with the intent to harm or control others.

In the distant past, years ago now, I had dream of being surrounded by hundreds of cats. I’m not kidding! In the dream, I found myself on the top of a mountainside talking to one of my guides when a massive group of cats, mostly orange, surrounded me. The message I got was to not be afraid of myself – of my desire. In that dream I was freaked out, though not by the cats themselves but by the impending doom feeling that came over me. Over a period of several years, cats were common dream symbols. Sometimes fluffy white kittens that I cuddled, other times sick and emaciated, and then sometimes just there, staring at me. Not surprisingly, the Kundalini became active around this time as well.

If I go inward, what it feels like these cats are trying to tell me is that I am stronger than I think and to trust myself, my power, and ability to take action when it is needed. There is a sense that my feminine side is especially needing to heed this advice.

The sense that these dreams are pointing at my feminine aspect is further supported by other dreams. I already mentioned killing off a negative, controlling and evil version of myself, but last night I had another dream that subtly points to the feminine.

Dream

In this dream I was walking across the border to Alabama but the scene I saw was me literally standing on a map and crossing a white line.

I then briefly shifted into a room where I was with a group and then I shifted again into a car that was driving across a bridge. I noticed that there were no guard rails on the bridge and began to worry about falling over the edge. I was not driving so I told the driver to stay away from the edge, to stay on the right. He disregarded my requests and I felt very anxious until we were safely on the other side.

Then I noticed the road we were on was on a steep ledge. Again, there were no guard rails to keep us from falling off. Again I was concerned about the left side of the road. I said to the driver, “I don’t like Alabama. They don’t put guard rails on their roads. Who would do that? It’s dangerous! They must have wrecks all the time!” In my mind I envisioned cars nose diving into embankments and people hurt and bleeding from accidentally driving too close to the edge of the road.

Then I was back in the room with the group of people. They seemed to be Native Americans but I only got this idea from the one man I was interacting with. He was thin, with long, black hair, bare chested, reddish skin tone, and had only one arm – his left arm. He had in his hand a protein bar and he handed it to me asking me what I thought of it. I read the ingredients but can’t recall now what I read. I responded that I would not like it and showed him what I did like, commenting on the fiber content. He grabbed it with his left hand and I remember realizing he had no arm and wondering how he lost it. I knew he was born that way somehow and felt bad for him. I imagined what it must be like.

Interpretation

Though this may not seem at all related to the feminine, it is.

The lack of guard rails on the left is a reference to the left side of the body, which is the side associated with feminine traits. The road has no guard rails, which symbolizes no protection, no barrier. So I am afraid of losing myself to the feminine for some reason; afraid of my own feminine power, senses, etc.

Similarly, the Native American man I am talking to in the dream has no right arm. I believe this was to get me to notice the left arm and how he was able to function perfectly fine without the right one. I suspect I was talking with a guide and the discussion we were having was about how I felt about standing in my own power, that being feminine power specifically.

I’m not sure about the symbolism of Alabama, if there is any. It could just be symbolic of stepping into a different “state” of being. lol I laugh because that actually makes sense to me.

The discussion about the protein bar is likely about my preferences. He shows me one that is distasteful and I show him what I like. I cannot recall much about his option except that it was high in fat. My best guess at the symbolism here is that I feel his option is not good for me somehow.

This dream along with other dreams and messages I’ve been having suggests I am being prepped for a potential and/or upcoming decision/event that necessitates my coming to terms with my own feminine power in some way. Signs and syncs have been pointing this out to me as well.

Here is one that comes to mind:

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Another sync or realization that came to me was related to Athens, GA.

A long-time friend of mine just recently (in December) moved to Athens, GA from Austin, TX. She left everything behind and started brand new, in a place where she knew no one. She has guts, right!? And when I first heard of her move I was jealous. I wished I had her guts. Still do.

But then yesterday, I stumbled upon a dream I had a while back in which I was shown Athens, GA. I had no idea what the dream was referring to because it made no sense with my life or plans. I realized, after re-reading the post, that I was likely being shown something future-related. At the time of the dream I didn’t know anyone in Athens, GA. Now I do.

Anyway, it may seem unrelated but I think is somehow is, I just don’t know exactly how the puzzle piece fits just yet.

 

 

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Cougar

More strange dreams and visions last night.

Vision – Cougar

I had a very close-up encounter with a mountain lion/cougar. I was face-to-face with it. There was no message with it, no sense of fear or awe, just the encounter. I did not see it’s entire body, just it’s face. When I came out of my reverie my thought was that it was beautiful.

This is the second cougar encounter I’ve had. The first was a dream not long ago where I saw a cougar in my grandmother’s garden. I was not afraid of it then, either.

I am reminded of a real life encounter I had with cougar. It was years ago when I lived in Montana. There was this particular route my ex-husband and I use to hike, and sometimes cross country ski, in the mountains. At the time he was hunting elk during bow season. I always went with him even though I didn’t hunt. I enjoyed hiking the beautiful terrain and took every opportunity I could to get close to a herd of elk.

Early on in the hike my ex told me, “Don’t move.” He said it in such a way that I froze on the spot. He then pointed to the ridge. I looked up and saw a mountain lion staring back at us. She was the same color as the grass, so well camouflaged that I would never have seen her had he not pointed her out. I don’t remember being afraid, but excited. She was really close, even closer through the scope of the rifle. Eventually she left and we went on our way. My ex reassured me telling me they don’t usually attack full grown humans. Still, I was looking behind me for a while after that. lol

I looked up the symbolism of the cougar. This is what I discovered:

Your coming into your power
Take charge, step-up and show your strength
Set clear intention to navigate your path
Lead by example
Do not force others to follow
Key words: courage, opportunity, assertiveness, action

All of the above reflect what I have been feeling/intuiting lately. I have been feeling especially ferocious, like the Lion in me is ready to tear up whatever stands in my way. For example, yesterday we took our kids to a local hamburger place, Hat Creek. While sitting at one of the long, picnic style booths, a woman stood behind my husband waiting for him to move. She was waiting maybe 1 minute and said something in a quiet voice to him. The room was very noisy so he didn’t hear her until maybe the third time she spoke. He moved, smiling, but as she passed him by she rolled her eyes at him. He didn’t see it but I saw it. OMG I was ready to attack that woman! LOL Instead I said as loud as I could, “Someone’s got an attitude problem.” She didn’t hear. It was too loud in there.

It took me a good 10 minutes to calm down. I kept watching the woman and her family and all these judgement were surfacing. I just let them pass and reminded myself to choose love instead. Despite this I ended up being critical of humanity itself as I watched the parents (75% of which were overweight or obese) feed their children fatty, greasy foods. I fantasized about passing out the nutrition information of the food there to everyone, asking if they knew what they were eating and how it was affecting their health/body. I wondered how long it would take for someone to take offense or for the owners to escort me out. I looked down at my salad and then at my own kids who were rejecting their burgers, proud that I had at least taught my own children a bit about healthy choices.

So, yeah, feeling a bit fierce these days. 🙂 Even now, in recalling the whole situation, I want to go on and on about how screwed up Americans are, how self-indulgent, unhealthy, materialistic, etc, etc. You get the idea.

Similarly, I sense in myself an unwillingness to put up with shit in my life, specifically within my home. But there is also a patience that goes along with it that is keeping me from going overboard. I am grateful for that part because I tend to jump the gun when I get like this. I make quick decisions without first considering how those decisions might affect others. So, at least I am getting the part of the message that says, “Don’t force others to follow.”

Note: Just considered the slang meaning of “cougar” – a woman who seeks sex with significantly younger men. Gotta laugh about this. 

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Dream – Doctor Visit

I had what seemed like a dream that lasted all night. In it I was first a doctor and then a patient. As the doctor (my ability to heal or help) I was a part of a team that was in the process of expanding. New doctors were coming on board. I observed the group get larger and was upset by the tendency of the other doctors to compete with one another. One of the first things these new doctors were told was, “We are all equals here. There is no need to try and outdo one another.” Yet they seemed not to get the message. I remember telling my coworker, “See? They are doing it (competing).”

As the patient I walked into a large clinic setting and met with a male doctor who seemed quite young. I believe I was pregnant (new potential) but can’t be certain. My initial exam revealed I had a very high heart rate – 371. When I first saw the number I didn’t think anything of it but then realized it was high. I asked, “Isn’t that kind of high?” He nodded and told me to wait while he consulted with someone.

When he left I decided to take a nap there on the table, knowing it would get my heart rate down. In my memory I see the numbers go down- 340, 200, 170 – and I kept telling myself, “You just need to relax. Relax.” This is lkely a real message from myself to myself.

Eventually I got up because I was feeling really drowsy and knew I needed to wake up. I went to a bathroom and took out my retainers (holding back) which I had been wearing the whole time. I noticed one of my top, middle teeth (concerned about losing control) was crooked. I pressed on it and shifted back into place really easily. Concerned, I put my retainer (seeking to hold back something) back in.

Then I heard a commotion from the other room. A door opened and two large dogs (protection, friendship, fidelity) were let in, one black and the other blonde. They were rowdy but friendly. One of the doctors shut the door without realizing I was inside with the dogs. I walked past the dogs and knocked on the door saying, “Hey, I’m in here.” They opened it.

Then the scene shifted and I was in a car (life path) heading toward a very special, invitation only gathering. When I arrived there was this sense that this was a very exclusive group of people who were involve in the occult. When I got inside the room was very dark but grande, resembling a castle. I was questioned several times about whether I belonged there. I told them I did. I was challenged to prove myself and shown two swords (strength, ambition, decisiveness, willpower), one on either side of the room. The swords were kept inside box-shaped cases attached to the platform on which I was standing. I saw them rise up out of their cases as if waiting to be wielded (ready to take back my power).

A man questioned my being there, saying I did not belong. A woman appeared out of thin air, as if a ghost or apparition. I only remember seeing her face hovering between the two sword cases. She had blonde hair (maybe another version of myself) and was very attractive. She told the others that I did belong and that she would not have it any other way. She challenged them to challenge her. No one did.

Music Message

When I woke a song was going through my mind, one I have not heard in ages. With it I thought, “Ghost.” I recognized the song went with the movie Ghost but in recalling my dream and the ghostly woman toward the end, I wonder what the purpose of this song really is.

Something about the song and dream made me feel hopeless. I know it is the waiting, the passage of so much time, that is the hardest. It makes me want to give up. Most of the time I am not even sure what I am waiting for. Is it to go Home? Is it purely a spiritual homesickness? Or is it something I am waiting for here on Earth, a physical experience, I am waiting for?

Regardless, I am reminded of the feeling I seem to have always had in this lifetime. The feeling is that I do not belong and my real family is out there and I want/need to be with them. Yet I feel tethered to this illusion and unable – not allowed – to go to my real family. Ultimately it feels like I have been cursed.

More Spiders

As if to remind me again that I need to be patient and only act at the right time, I found another spider in my house. This time he was very tiny and trying to hide in plain sight. I took him outside and even when free he immediately hid from me.

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Common House spider, October 14th.

I believe this is a Common House Spider, but am not completely certain. He did not have a web. He was about the size of the tip of my finger.

As with the other spiders I have made contact with, I was fascinated by him. I got as close as I could, even shined a flashlight on him.

This spider visit came after a tiny jumping spider I found in my kitchen on October 8th. Here is a picture of him:

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Jumping spider, October 8th.

When I attempted to let him go he jumped back onto me without my knowing and then tried to run under the kitchen cabinets. I had to catch him again and put him outside. lol

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Signs, Messages and Triggers

This is my life
I can choose to accept it
Or I can struggle against it
Whatever I choose is no mistake
But a choice that can be changed
At any time

I have options
though they are limited
by the contracts I’ve agreed to
Sometimes the option outcomes
differ little from one another
It matters not

Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

Blessed if I do, blessed if I don’t.

It’s all about perspective.

Current Messages and Connections

Quote

Quote from Sense8, season 2: “I’m slowly dying of survival.” This quote resonated with me. It came from episode 6 when one of the sense8’s mentioned how he had been in hiding for 30 years and, though he was surviving, it was a life devoid of meaning or purpose.

Images of Sky

These pictures were taken yesterday on a short road trip to a small town East of where I live. On the way home the sky began to look like gray ocean waves. I was mesmerized by the beauty of it, though, and did not consider it a bad omen. However, I can see how it reflects the emotional state I’ve been in this year. It has often felt like I am drowning.

4/22-4/24 and 12/17

These dates were given to me in the in-between a couple of nights ago. I am not sure of the significance of them but so far 4/22 has me in a very contemplative state. It seems like the past is repeating itself and I am being asked to consider how I want to handle this repetition. I was informed that a meeting will take place on the 23rd, but I am not sure what kind or what for. The 24th has been showing up as significant and connected to the Mayan calendar. However, I was told this is the first day of the last of three sections of the Equinox Portal in the month of May.

As for the 12/17 date, it has been given to me twice now. A friend from Shasta who is an astrologer said this about the December date:

The night of the 17th we have a new Moon conjunct the galactic center setting the tone for a powerful expansive month ahead. This is on the cusp of Saturn entering his own sign Capricorn on the 19th beginning a profound power surge for the next 2 to 3 years. The 17th may be a “meeting” or counsel of the galactics upstairs in preparation for the huge shift that begins on the 19th.

Blinking Aura

Message received two nights ago about my aura was that it was blinking like a strobe light. It caused a reaction in me because I have seen this aura phenomena in people who are nearing and very close to death. My grandfather was one of them. I watched as he went OOB and then would return to the body over and over again. I believe the “blinking” or flashing of the aura that appears much like a strobe light is due to this in/out of body state. However, I have found that others believe it to mean that one’s angels are very close, which could also be true. I have let the message be for now as I am unconcerned one way or the other.

Let Thine Will Be Mine

Received last week and repeated this morning. The message is to allow whatever is to happen, to happen. To trust that I am where I need to be and not assign value or worth to any one experience over the other. They are all equally important and necessary for this journey. Each experience offers its own lesson, its own value, if only I look to find it.

My reaction is mixed. I understand but am furious at the same time. I’m being asked to Trust regardless of what is thrown my way, to accept the good and bad equally. Easy when it’s all “good”, not so much when it turns “bad”. Currently I feel like I have already lived the best part of my life. To live the rest of my life with this ache in my heart is the equivalent of hell to me. My burden to bear alone for the rest of this lifetime. How do I Trust and Allow that?

firefly

Signs from Nature

Firefly –  Landed on the door in front of me in broad day light. Message: Illumination.

Butterfly – Saw a purple Swallowtail butterfly. Thought, “I want him to come see me.” He flew directly toward me, flew around my head for a while, and then flew off. Message: Transformation.

Raccoon – Came to visit a few weeks ago. First time I’ve seen one since moving here in 2014. Last night I had a dream of a dead raccoon hanging up in a garage by a noose. Message: Let go.

Familiar Feeling

The way I am feeling currently takes me back to the year I entered into the darkest part of my Dark Night of the Soul. Back then I felt much as I do now – betrayed, misled and disillusioned. I realized at a later date that the reason for all the upheaval in my life during my Dark Night was because I was unwilling to accept the truth of the situation. I was full of resistance to the point of rebellion. At the time the message I could not accept was that the time was not right for what I wanted and I was to move in another direction while I waited until the time was right. It took me a while to fall into acceptance. Life actually forced me into various upsetting events but once I fell into acceptance things shifted and a path opened up to me. I ended up on a “detour” for 7 years before the timing was right and my spiritual path opened up again to me.

Apparently, “the time is not right” again. I can choose to rebel and resist or I can just allow the path ahead to open up. It seems obvious what I should do but I can’t help but feel outrage at the unfairness of it all. I seem always to be waiting in this life and then, when things finally get good, they last for only a moment and I am waiting again. The “good” times are so few and so fleeting in comparison. For example, after my first awakening I had maybe three good years (1 really exciting one) and then was back to waiting. The wait was 7 years! Three years have passed (2014-2017) with one very exciting and eventful year (2016) and now it looks like I am to wait again. How long? Most likely years. I can’t stand it. I am not patient. Never have been. Knowing a long wait is ahead is excruciating. I want to throw a really, really big tantrum, cross my arms across my chest, turn my back on my guidance and make them pay by following the destructive path (yeah insane right?).  But I know such tantrums only result in more pain on my part. I can go along peacefully or face the consequences.

I’ve been going in and out of insanity for a few weeks now. I will have moments of complete clarity followed by full-on resistance and emotional chaos. I’m super triggered by the events of my life, by people in my life, by memories that surface….everything triggers me. I’m like a bomb waiting to go off and when I explode it’s not pleasant.

Yesterday I woke in complete acceptance and balance. This morning I woke up cussing out my guidance and asking for an “opt out”. This has gotten their attention at least. We’ll see if some revisions can be made. Of course it’s likely when we have our “meeting” I will be the balanced, cooperative me and nothing will be altered at all. I’ll get a pat on the back, congratulations and a job well-done followed up with a “You can do this”.  I’ll be full of love, smiles, and agreement like I usually am when OOB. Big sigh.

 

 

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Recent Symbols and Messages

For the first time in almost a week I am feeling better. This cold was a whammy but thankfully it is going away. Yesterday for most of the day I felt like I had taken a sleeping pill. So tired yet I couldn’t sleep even when I had the opportunity. Just a lethargy that wouldn’t let up. Emotionally I felt drained and depleted, too. It was difficult to stay centered but I managed it. Barely.

What is strange is that even though my guidance has been mostly quiet except for a few encouraging nudges, I received messages in the form of symbols that continued to show up. All messages pointing to the balancing of masculine and feminine and coming into Wholeness, indicating that despite the “rest” provided by my illness work was still being done.

The first symbol that has been recurring is the Yin-Yang symbol. First, I saw it quite unexpectedly in a piece of scrap paper I used to protect the counter from paint as I was painting my most recent painting. I just happened to glance down at one of the many structural drawings catching the fallen paint. There on the paper were several perfect Yin-Yang symbols. They are obviously used to represent something specific in the drawing but to me they said Yin-Yang. I stopped and time did that little pause it does when a message is being received. Here is the symbol amidst the drawing:

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This was earlier in the week. This morning I happened to noticed the symbol on a tile in my bathroom. I have seen the tile countless times but never saw the symbol. Here is the tile. See if you can locate the symbol:

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From where I was at, it popped out at me very obviously, but as you can see it is very difficult to see.

I outlined it in this pic so you can see it better:

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This in and of itself is one of those messages that I usually would shrug off. It’s easy to see anything you want to see in the patterns of a tile if you want, right? However, I had just had a dream earlier in the morning that led me to believe it was more than just me trying to make more of what was there. In fact, the Yin-Yang symbol was the farthest thing from my mind. My dream didn’t even lead me to look for it. Rather, my dream was of snakes. Two snakes coiled around one another similar to the caduceus. When I saw the Yin-Yang pop out at me, again time seemed to slow down and when it did my dream memory resurfaced and I knew it was a message. My first thought was the Kundalini and then I put it together with the Yin-Yang symbol and recognized the balancing of the masculine and feminine into Wholeness. Only then did I remember the message from the scrap paper earlier in the week. Duh.

Wholeness. Union. The message was clear.

Another interesting message, er well messenger, came later in the week. I was home resting and trying to recover from my illness. My husband took the kids to the park. They are in the process of erecting a new playground and it was nearly finished so my kids wanted to explore. To my surprise, my husband came back and told me, “There is a cockatiel in the garage. We found it in the park.” I didn’t believe him and went to the garage to investigate. I opened the door slowly not sure what prank he might be playing on me. I found my daughter in there with a small bird. He hadn’t been joking! Turns out, the little guy was on the ground near the new playground and had easily been captured by my husband but not before it pecked him hard enough to draw blood.

Seeing the little bird was a joy which surprised me. I am not into birds. I’m not scared of them but I never desired to have one as a pet. I prefer them to be in the wild where they belong. I was reminded of my trip to Australia in 2005. My sister and I got to feed all sorts of wild parrots. I did it, but I was uncomfortable because some of them were very big. Cockatoos were very common there. In fact, I remember them being all over the place and making a lot of noise.

The little bird was friendly but did not want you to pet it or hold it. It was happy to perch on my husband’s shoulder. He was also starving and very thirsty. It was obvious he had been out on his own long enough to seek out people to try and find food and shelter. We let him stay the night in our garage and the next day my daughter went around to try and find his owner without success. So we bought him a cage and he now lives in her room. His name is Dylan.

cockatiel

My youngest has it out for Dylan, though. He throws things at him and harasses him while he’s in his cage. This has made him very wary of all of us now. Plus, he is very territorial of his cage. When we showed him his cage he flew across the room to it and made all kinds of happy noise. Now we struggle to get him out of it. I think he missed his home and is scared to leave it now. The poor little guy.

Regardless, it looks like he is here to stay. I will talk to him in Light Language here and there and find he responds to me, though he doesn’t want to come to me. That is fine with me. I would rather not be pecked. lol

It was only today that I decided to see if cockatiels carry any kind of specific message. Turns out they do. Though the link I found was for cockatoos, cockatiels carry the same message – communication, socialization, mating for life, the art of survival. Additionally, it represents:

Spirit. Rain Magic. Travel. Joy. Crying with Joy. Emotional Freedom. Spiritual Freedom. Finding Spiritual Truths. Your Inner Fire. Creativity. The Muse. Inner Beauty. Inner and Outer Wealth. Preserving What You Care For. Drumming.

~ Source

It was a good thing we rescued this little bird when we did. That night a cold front came through and it got really chilly and windy. The little guy would have had a difficult time staying warm in 40 degree weather.

Preparation

While I was sick I received Knowing that my illness was purposeful. It was a forced down time to prepare me for what is coming next. Sometimes, when you are like me, you have to be made to stop and rest. While I was sick I went from motivated, optimistic, and positive to lethargic, unmotivated and at times irritable. I spent more time laying down than normal to the point that my husband began to nag me about it (which didn’t result in good things lol).

I discovered old, stale emotions coming to the surface during this time. They were not intense but there nonetheless. I had to keep my eye on my thoughts because these old emotions brought about thought patterns that would cycle through and if I didn’t catch them in time I would end up in an old, familiar place. Thankfully I was able to keep myself from falling into the old cycles and patterns but several times I did have to ask myself, “Is this making me feel good or bad?” If it was not making me feel good, I stopped thinking it and moved on. And you know what? It worked even though I felt like crap. lol

All of this is in preparation for the next section of that Equinox portal I brought up earlier in April. This section is quite long, spanning through the end of this month, but I am told the next one is soon, early May. I don’t have the exact date yet but thinking May 4-5th or around there.

Interestingly, my entire family almost went on a trip to Seattle to visit his cousin. We would have left on the 4th and returned on the 9th. We opted out because of the cost of flying five people there (over $2000) plus I was wary of taking my youngest. I had hoped to go so I could visit a friend there but it was not meant to be. Additionally, a friend of mine is having a Galactic Shaman training on May 5th in Tennessee. Out of the blue I had the idea to go and almost got my husband to say yes but then later knew it was not a good idea. Just after realizing this my husband got nasty about me going, so my intuition was right. It’s okay. The message was likely not that I needed to go on either trip but about the timing of it.